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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

oh noooooooooooes call teck support
*ringrign ring*
yello, dis be da tekniklol suppoart pls to be waiting on da line yr cawl is impoartant
Ur cawl will b ansered inna ordur in witch it wuz reseeved.
U has elebenty cawls ahed ov u.
Press 1 for krashed kittehs, 2 for hungreh kittehs, 3 for annoying kittehs
1
Press 1 for tuxies, 2 for marmies, and 3 for tabbies
*ponders*
1
Press 1 for krashed kittehs, 2 for hungreh kittehs, 3 for annoying kittehs
AAAAAAAAARGH!
*phone gripped between head & shoulder while awaiting teh wizdum o tech supoart*
oh noes, red alert, splort imminent!!!
*looks around kichen*
*quikly tops head titely wif mitten like potholder wif lobstah decormashuns onnit to avoid splortink ober dat floofy belly, does lil sleepy pawz…*
Teh muzak iz yooshully enuff 2 purrvent splorts Aifinkso!
Dere annipuss – yoo ar why’s beyond yur yeers!!
Ai just putted awn a Tee Cozee! Werks prettee gud, akshullee!
ha! dis be a cumins you are partee wif a kichen theem?
we hoap you enjoy dis muzak-like sounz in yr eer while yu waits.
*muzak startz*
A selction 0 lorrenz whelk
Bad Boyz, what chew gonna do
Celine Dion yodellink
Desperaaaaaado, why don chew come to yer senses
E…
Enya – croose ship sawng
Foreigner
Goo goo dolls
Hoobastank
India Arie
Jackson 5
K….
i dubble dipped and cormtinyued below…
Enya
Felines, whoa whoa whoa, felines
G, Kenny
H . . . .
Halp, i need sumboooodeeee (beatlols!)
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiii will alwayz luv yooooooooooooooooooooooo…
Just like me, they long to be,
Klose to yoo♫
L…
Luv Boat tehme
Kabaret, Come to teh
Munnee, munnee, munnee. . .
N. . .
*jinx!!* wif Gremlin.
*luks up, sees we is kuvverd thru J*
Kilkenny cats, yowlin
Lowd caterwaulin
Muzak, yor doin it . . . boringly
N . . .
NEwun But Yu (I donut wnat)
One Enshaaanted Eeeebrning
Pwowd Mawwy
Q….
(Then)Q 4 beein a frend
R-E-S-P-E-Q-T
?
Oh noes, aym jinkxed agin!
Nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, gud-bye!
Over in teh meddow wher teh green grass grows . . .
Put yor left fut in, put yor left fur owt!
Q . . .
Jinxed agin! *putz paws over eys, givs up*
Yerz iz bedder! We duz hoki poki we gets all in shaype by teh taime teksuport is hangd up on us wivvowt anserin….
QUEEN (ai mean cween!!), Wii r teh chapmionz
Riiscwee mii
Sandy Klawz b cumminging 2 town (habent chagned teh CD)
T…
…Time i get to Pheenix, she’ll be rising, and sheel find danote ilef hanging…
Upon her doooooooooor, she’ll laff wen sher reads the part about i’m lea-
Ven, cuz i left dat gurl a thowsand timez beeeefoooor
W…
elebenty burgurz! @@@@@@@@@@@@@
puttin teh liricks in alfamabetikal order!!
*RingRingRing*
Tech Support. Please state the nature of your problem…
ummm, da skreen iz blak.
Iz teh lecktricks awf?
Ob korse eckeltricity is awf, it’s a KITTEH!
i dunno. everything is dark.
Teknikal suport — Dis is Snuggles.
Conga-rats, Chopp’d Livah Grrl.
Drinkees and danses?
fanx, rhsb! howar you?
hmmmm wot do i wnant?
*pondurz*
Ai in gud mood 2dai, fanks CC!
U want KY ised tee? Iz gud….
*duz dubble taek on da KY iced tea *
. OOOOOOOH! you mean Kentuckee Iced Tea!
Noarmallee, i lubs da sweet tea iced. howsumebber, is chilly here today inside n out becuz i am resisting turning on da heaterz. thrifty? yes. in denial winter is coming? *nods head sadlee*
Ai can heets it up 4 u.
**heets up KY sweet tee an hanz it ober**
Nao, u want cooky? Ai has otemeel chocklit chip!
nom!!
yas congrats, u is paté todays!!
Wud u like sum of teh howse whine wif dat?
LOL!! Wehn ai wuz in She ca go awn Sumday to see “Gislle,” mai sister Pyzi an ai went to teh Russian Tea Time restaurant – an rite there awn teh menu wuz “chopp’d livah pate!”
opted fur teh MushroomBarlee soop insted!
But it iz TOTALEE ENCHANTING. Breftaekinglee prettee.
.
Ai awlmost ordered it – but
.
But – ebreewun! If yoo ar ENEwhere neer wehre tieh Kirov Ballet (frum Russha) is purrrrrrforming “Giselle,” DO. NOT. MISS. IT. !!!!!!! It wuz eezilee wun ov teh best ai hav eber seen. . .well – laytlee, eneway!
didja try to tell Pyzi why it was funny to see da chopp’d livah paté on da menu_ eberytime i get amused IRL by something that reminds me 0 ICHC and i try to splain it to a non Loler iz total Fail and then i just giglol at the luk on dere faec.
If yoo lykes “Giselle” you wud lykes teh moovie “Dancers” wif Meesha Baryshnikov. Is allabowt taht ballay.
Ohai, Kitteh teh Spider Slayer! I luvs yor naym! *gigglol* I haz a liddel tabbey boi at hoem hoo luvs to play wit teh bugz. He sits by teh garage door waytin an hopin that teh bugz weel coem in . . .
Yesh!!! teh liber pate is nao legals agains in mai ole hometown shecaago
*nomnomnom* uv corse wee nebber stopped teh eeting uv it – dey jus gave it to us frees *ponders…..wait may wuz betterer gains teh laws***
I haz da saim keebord!
Whai wud ai wanna do taht? Himz sew kyoot dis wai.
but no burn
Lulz!
Blargh. Ai R ded.
DK? U ok?
Speek to me!
*wispurrs* Ai’s OK! Iz teh kitteh taht R dedded!
Meow? Just a liddel meow? Cmon nao, DK . . . tawk to us!
MeeeEEEEOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Mewsik too ar eers!
oh noes… not sew grate, ackshully, at 2:30 in teh mornin!!
*frows sawfty maus at DK to distrackt hur*
*glanses dis danefullee at sawfty maus, continyoos likking toona can awn floor*
*forgotted to menshun maus was marinated in NIP*
Maus wuz marinated? Iz he fr supper?
Maus . . . teh uther uther uther whyt meet.
Itz whutz fur deener!
HEY!
OOPsie! Uv korse I wuz onlee kiddink! Heh heh heh.
*pats teh liddel maus on teh hed gently, with klaws retrakted, then givs maus a liddel frendlee smooch on teh hed*
Pleh!
*Wipes off head*
Gurls!
Awl mah luv, awl mah kisses – yoo don noes whut yoo bin missin, oh boy!
hm.
*takes maus, dips him in nip*
*waytes to see wot happens*
*sniffs*
Maus! What is that wyld scent yor wayring!????
*Maus looks a little woozy*
Heeeey mannn. Whas happinin’? Wooowww! Lookit all the purdy colurs…
Wow, I’m hungry. Anybody got any powdered donuts?
*Menny large kittehs surround the aromatic Maus*
Will Maus freek aout from the site of giant kittehs?
Maus can haz bad twip frum teh Nip?
*Maus slowly fades from view*
Wow! Gud nip man………………
no powdered donuts
*hmmm why duz that sownd familyar?*
but how abowt sum cheez nips??
*One giant gray kitteh paw begins to descend upon teh Maus’ tail.*
Oh, dwat. I can haz ovver obligayshun nao.
You get off lukky tis tyme, Maus.
*Kitteh wiffdraws, seeing doubble nd even triple Mauses.*
is kitteh plugged in?
luks like he haz no pawr.
Um, hims has 4 pawrs, adn a purrer.
Reboot dat kitteh!
Oi! Noe kikkin teh kitteh! Jus say noe tu boots!!
Oaisee, kitteh alreddy has “boots.”
(teh wite wuns, ai meen)
Thus teh term “reboot”
An when yoo ar gud, yoo ar verree verree gud!!! LOL!!!
And when aym bad, aym even beddur! *insert evil smiley fayce here*
Kittehs onlee mostly ded
Kittehs gettin beddur!
He be ownly restings.
beyewtifull plumidge! o wayte……wrong lolimal
But mebbe it dus liek kippin awn its bak.
all ur walkies myte b-lawn tew hims, laytr.
Letz go throo himz pokkits lukkin fur looz chaynge.
But wayte! He speeks! Ifink he sed sumthing! *lissens kayrfully*
*nods hed* Yep, he sed “To blaythe . . .”
“But I aren’t ded yet!”
Den insert cheezburger fur maximum purrrrrrformance.
or toona
Send fur teh paramedix an teh pyooter enjineer
pleez 2 cawl de fyremenz 2? jus inna cayse? kaithxwoot!
Ai’ll drink 2 dat!
pls tew reboot kitteh…
but nawt wif a reel boot, kthx!
Can kitteh be fixed?? Tuna in. . .
Heh!
Kitteh jus in sleep mode.
Oh, den just a wiggul will do!
Mebbe a belleh rub.
is kitteh defectev? Seems to go into sleep moad without warning sevrl times a dai.
…What, thaht’s normlol?
wowzerz, luk at awl de 6:01 peps
“peeps”
an 6:02 peeps, fas typerz deze cheezpeepz!
Wow, watta makramay!
Wii has ELEBENTY-WAY MAKRAMAY!
**dansdansdans**
**polka polka polka thud crash*
U okay, BF473?
mai 2 lef feetz, let meh sho u dem!
Wii mus b relaytid!
Ai gots 2 mennee left feets, 2!
Mai lak ov co-word-din-ay-shun, let mi show u it!
**dans dans dans slyyyyddd boom crash, sownz ov stuff fallin awf tablols**
Dans Dans Dans *twirls, steps fancily & twirls moar & breakdansies onna floar* *Hops and skips and slides across floar ona knee* O, o, shudnta dun dat 2 da nees! *fawls in heep* *lifts paw weekly* O halp! Luvs dansies but dansies doant luv meh. *Paw flops as kitteh moans & groans and frows paw across forhed*
**runz ober 2 halp KCT, but trips ober BF473 inna prosess**
Oooh, mai tayle!
Liddlol halp heer? Wii has fallan an wii kant geddup!
Ai will halp u, rhsb. KCT and BF473- halps all up- lets try a conga- line- if we all hold on, ai think we won’t fall down. Okay- 1,2,3- kick! 1,2,3-kick! Woot!
1,2,3 kick! 1,2,3,kick! Way hay!!
*ackcadenly kiks antike vase offa tayble*
It izznt a partay till sumthin gitz borked!
*joyns conga lyne, grabs onto kitteh in frunt ov meh’s tayl – gentlee uv korse!*
Kik! Wun too free, wun too free, wun too free!
CONGA! Wheeeeeeee! Ai finks ai needs a choklit martoonie! *luks fer da martoonie* *rumijes froo perse* Kitchen sink, car repair stuffz, mmmmm, wheres da martoonies? Gremlin, conga, conga, conga!
Kitteh jes bees hybernaytyng: wil buut up iymmedyatelee foar cheezburger!!!
opun the refig.. the cold box fingee in deh kitchunz
and the kitteh will awaken and be by ur syde befoh U knoz it
Tihs will b wat ai luks lyk at abowt fwee o-clok inna afturnuun.
Ditto taht!
I luks lyke dat at 8am in deh morninz
Kitteh surfed too much pron – curiositee killed teh kitteh.
Ai looz moar puddy-tats dat wai….
Mai sunn iz Puddy_tat. Him duzn’t lukk at pr0n (leestwaiz, him towld me him duzn’t….)
UH OH. Dis be the kootestest kitteh of dem all…Does want!
SPLORT!!!
*puts a cool towl over F&O’s momma’s hed, runs to git teh CCC*
Wayt heer, ayll be rite bak!!!!
OK, heer we goes! A reskyoo!
Ther be brayns awl over. Watch whar yoo steps! *wawks gingerly, liftin feets after eech step*
I gits teh reversomatik that puts teh brayns BAK inna kraynium. Bak, brayns, bak I sed!
Put on teh bran noo CHRG, fresh frum teh lawndree! Ummm, it smells like fabrik soffner! Mah fayvrit! *straps on teh kleen CHRG*
Duk taype! Wit pikshors uv duks! *tayp tayp taypitytaypitytaypity*
Blankee? It haz liddel blak an whyt kitteh dezines onnit, hao kyoo— I meenz, dont luk! Just feels teh soffniss! Mmmm. Also fresh owt uf teh wash!
Nao, teh chonklit, an teh hawt drinkee, rite heer. Yay! Luks lyke yor comin arownd!
*woop woop woop* heer cumz de CCC! Fyremenz jump owt & sweeepity sweepity braynes, rinsity rinsity jently wif de fyrehoze, tuckity tuckiyt bak inno braynium cabity. wrapity wif duk taype uv manee rainbo cullerz, ot oh, dere owt uv CHRGs! fyre hattie awn ur hed wil hep, wrapity u innna floofy fyreproof blankie & offerz uv hawt choklit er cawfee. Heer, snorgle dis lil dalmashun til u feelz bedder, kay?
Omai! *Runs to Felix & Oscar’s momma* Ai sayves u!
*scoopity, scoopity da braynes* Whew!
*puts dem bak in*
*raps da duky taype, taype, taype, taype*
*puts F&O’s momma inna da bed and tuks da floofy bankie arown her*
*Gibs her a niec cuppa hawt choklit wif lotsa floofy marshamallows*
*Pats f&o’s momma onna hed*
R u feelins bettur deer?
Yay! Between us, she is sayved, Ifinkso! *hi-t’s KCT*
Um, that wuz a hi-5!!! *holds up floofy orinj rite paw, joyfully slaps paws wit KCT*
Yayay, Gremlin! *hi-5 wif floofy paw* *Dansies* Hao r u Gremlin? Wii maeks a grate teem! *offers cuppa hawt choklit to Gremlin an sum choklit chip cukies too* Luvs reskue caws dere’s lotsa hawt choklit and mehbe choklit chip cukies too. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! *Rubs tummy happeelee for da cukies*
Cukies? didjoo say cukies? *nom nom nom!*
Fankyoo!
Tripple reskew! Iz dis a ICHC rekord?
Yay! A triple! *hi-5’s BF473 with mah floofy left orinj paw!*
(”’) hi fibe gremlin!
.
(”’) hi fibe KCT!
whoopz, sorree bout doze pointy endz!
Ah, iz nuffin – whatz a fyew poyntee enz amung frenz ennyway?
*luks a liddel bit sadlee at her arms, which haz lots uv liddel skratches frum Dexter teh Tabby’s poyntee enz*
BF473, no pwoblem wif da powntee endz! *floofing a happee tayle* Ai’z so happee 2dai! conga, conga, conga, conga!
tanks 4 da saves. I tink Iz mite survives it. Whoo. Was close. But the floofy blankets and chocolat saves me.
MUST NOT LOOK AT PICTUR!!!
Don’t kawl fur yor surgeon, even he sez itz too layte.
Sing it, Broooooce! For You, on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCY1_msUYPQ
What a cyoot-t!
*SPLORT*
*Waves tuxedoed paw weakly* Halp! I haz a splort!
Odear, KKC!
Weeoooweeeooo, hear comez teth CCC!
Sweeeppup teh braines, along wif wutebber kiyytfloof iz arownd (kitty floof a kyer fur mostest ennyfing) adn pakx em inna hed. *tuktuktuk* Putz on CHRG (w/doi) an taypee on wiv dukkitayp. cubberz wiv 50’s tyl bavvin kap az moddeld bai kyoot kitteh, an rapz KKC inna floofy blankie wiv pkcherz uv hummiburdz onnit. An sum choklit humminburdz to go wiff it. You feelin bedder?
ooog, mai turribl tipyng I rebeelz it wen i hurreez… sry.
Chonklit humminburdz? Wow! Hao pritteh!
*pokes tuxedo head out from under blankie* Yes, I feels bedder nao. Tank u!
Oooh…choklit humminbirdz? Sounds taystee!
Ishka, patishka, chopka chopka. Still sleeping? sssss bum boom, ayya yfchsh pyfchsh . I’m not crazy. Im not! Im nutssZ yf yf
* scampers in wib stick awn moose stash adn fronsch ack scent
.
Ah, bonjour mai fromageamis…
Pepe? Iz dat u?
* shrugs
.
Pepay? ai duzzn’t no hu is dis Pepay ov witch yu speeek?
Mr. LePew?
* adjusts moose stash adn dark glasses
.
ah non non non… ai izza jus a seempul err, how yu sai? entrepeneur…
ooooo faux Fronsch…
EEP! issa nawt faux Fronsch!
.
ahem, err, mais oui… ah bon soir madame… vous etes tres beau…
Bodjour, mes amis de fromage! Avez-vous seen le phlonquais de moi? Il a mon sac d’araignées tres huge.
le phlonquais de ma lcb est derangé.
dérangé
Votre phlonquais? Non madame, desole…
.
Tres Grande Araignée??? Mon dieu!
.
* puts creem onna taranshula bites
Hmmm. Quel dommage. J’aurais lui donner ce grand sac de moneys comme bonus pour un job done demi-assez.
*Puts moneys in own poches.*
* lukks arownd nerbussly…
.
* rummage rummage rummage inna dollar sign bag fur Fronsch-Ingerlish dikshunree
.
* gets bitten by taranshulas
Où sont mes araignées ginormique? Ils has un hongry, je suis sure of it. Ils n’ont pas nommed depuis yesterday.
J’ai un worry for them. Them et mon phlonquais invisible.
* scamperlimps in wib bandaged paws
.
O hai LCB! ai herd abowt yu losing yur favomorit dollar sign bag so ai borted yu a new won – heer yu go
Thx, GP! We’ll also need to replace teh elebenty dozen tarachulars that we is gonna give as party flavors at our fashun show. And when I sez “we” I of coarse mean “u”.
*notices GP’s bandaged paw*
Hay, hold on here. Whut’s this I see that u has? This isn’t a regulation dollar-sine bag! This is a bag wif Marks&Sparks crossed out and a dollar sine ritten in in crayon.
err… um… err… well, yesh. ai can splain dat… err… um… brb!
Ah, madame LCB. ai see vous est holding won ov mai new line ov Dollar Sign Bags; izza from mai “L’Argent Collekshun” – yu liek?
Who u is and whare did u buy ur accent?
* LPB vanishes inna poof of smoke
http://www.babelfish.yahoo.com/
iz tray fun to translate it back and forth to see wotcha comeup wif.
“Phlonquais”: Ai lub it!
*whispers*
wut dat meen DK?
’splainez-vous s’il vous plait!
“Flunky” in faux Fronsch!
LOL!
I shudd bin able 2 figyut tath owt.. my 2 yrs of HiSkool and 2 sem of colleje fronsch.. I is not showing u it!
Oooh. but u bein in VLC, u is flooent, rite?
*plans to
subject DK topractiss hur fronsch on DK if we ever has a cheezmeet*Hims nawt luks liek a fawx him luks liek Poirot…. haz dere been a krime?
du du duuuuuur
non, non, non! ne pas de kwime ici… regarde – rien. bon.
Alors vous nawts Hercule Poirot le detective Belgium famouze ?
Moi? Poirot? Je ne pense pas… Regarde mai moose stash; izza compleeteley differmerent, aifinkso, yesh. Ahem, err Oui.
Ai iz jest testing, mobe alawng nao nufin to be seeing here
Okiez, triinging 2 restrat kitteh – weher teh Cnt-Alt-Delte bottonz?? Teh noz, teh frunt lef leg due claw, an teh mittel poynte end ob teh rite bcak leg.
Gosh dangit.
How do you put linux on one of these?
LOL!
Very carefully…
step 1: Format C kitteh…
I think you mean /dev/sdkitteh..
HeLOL boss. UR report wull B layt; somethin haz krashded on mai pootur!
R u usin teh noo TPS report cover sheet?
Ai will send u teh memo.
Plz to downlode Kitteh 09 Beta
Wit’ extra cuddles
Daownloded az instruktud. Wiv Xtra kudduhlz.
Wuz FUR-matting errur. Iz fixd naow.
uh, ohes, Ai haz onlee Winders 98, will nawt support dis vershun uv Kitteh! Gota join teh twennee-nawt-sekkond senturee!!
Mai techno-challenges, let me show yu dem!!!
Cat-like crashing detekted
Must be coming off a coffee buzz too.
I got really scared bc this looks EXACTLY like my cat and he ALWAYS lays like that…but is not my kitty.
more like call tick suppuuurt
diz iz qute
ITIZCUTE
Alright, this is weird. Not only does it look like my cat, its also on the same keyboard I have. Has someone broken into my house to take pictures of my cat???
911 my kitten needs you to press Alt, Crtl, Delete to restart my kitten for me.
press 1 for a new kitten, press 2 for 911 kittens, press 3 for kittens to restart you kitten, press 4 for 911.
wouldnt that delete him….