No hunny..
No hunny.. It looks great…
husband kitteh noe 2 lie nd jus pleese wife kitteh.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: applegross
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Ai haz mai pointee ens crosst
{{{anni}}} wii reeley muss stawp meety liek dis!
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Congaratshoelaces onna yur nawt sekkund! yu win agen
Thx, GP u were a clowse sekund!
Nowun els seamz to be abowt dis affernoon!
ai had teh tribble brayne freeze! ebberywon is playing IRL , aifinkso
nowun els?
I no Iz knew, but I nawt dat far bahind! Plus, iz only 10:15 AM fer me. Adn on Caturday no les!
oh hai audra!! Caturdaze b slow on ICHC. peepz owt runnin rownd IRL. Speeking uv witch, I haz errundz ttu run, tew. See ya lader.
Ai’z heer too – ai is nawt playin. Ai is doin teh laundry. Werl, teh woshing masheen is doin teh laundry, but ai is helpin. An in a minnit, ai will take teh cleen stuff owt ob teh dishwosher an put teh durty stuff into teh dishwosher. Mai wild an eggsitin life, let me show u it.
copy cat-datz wot i’m doing.
Ai hope ur havin as much fun as me!
prolly not pawsibull!
Troo… is bery bery eggsitinzzzzzzzzzzz
BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!
buzzer on dryer goze off.
Kwik, go get teh blousesnshirts out before day wrinkulz
*leeps to feet*
*lowd crackin ob knees is herd*
*grabs cleen washin*
Nao, wut next? Oh yah. IRNIN. Plz to be sending YNG over, thxbai.
Ai would laik teh YNG to be sent to mai haus for ter cleenz teh bafrum and teh kitchun floors an’ to fold teh laundries an’ to give teh massages an teh feetie rubz an’ um….Ai gonna stop naow. *blushes*
Ai’ll send him over wehn he’s finished here. But ai shud warn u, ai has a LAWT ob irnin – so he mite be a while.
Is OK. Ai can wait.
same thingz fur mii. jess add gowin owt tu bai nu tinny chooz, kitteh litturz an greenz fur da bunnehs! kayle, parslee, dandee lyons, basil… dem bunnehs be eetin bettur dan mii aifinkso!
Wen Ai maed mai commint der wuz juss GP an me, Ai iz berry glad 2 walcum u 2 dis happi plaes! Sowwee iffn Ai wuz a bit preevyuss b4! GP an Ai lib in TTI (dats Ingerland) so it iz affernoon heer. Caturdai iz offen berry kwiet an nawt mennee peepl abowt, so u aer dubblee walcum!
Ohai annipuss, fank u for teh presint u sent me! Ai gotted it dis mornin. Is ossum!!! {{{{annipuss}}}} Heer, wud u liek sum hot choklit oar cawfee or hotribena? Is brrrcold today!
Ai fink hotribena wud be grate – ai haz a narstee coff dat iz dribin me up teh wall! Glad u lieked teh liddle prezzie.
Heer’s ur hotribena. Ai putted a liddle hunny in it, an sum benny lynne. Ai hope u is feelin bedder soon!
Thx – Ai wuz juss abowt ober a cowld wen Ai catched anuvver. PLEH!
Ohai Martoonie, Ai has Cheezgifts for yu tu; form me an Yvi – Ai’s nawt shor if yu shud has tehm or if Ai shud holed tehm ransum until yu is nawt a twerk an alloud owt to plai! Plees to be sendin me yur snyulmayul address, orf list, an Ai will deeside if yu deserv tehm!
PREZZINTS????!!!!!!!1!!! Ai LUBS teh prezzints!!!! An ai has bin a rly rly good girl, honnist! Plzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzplz ai can has? *big eyez*
Weeeeeeeeeeeeelll, yu’ll juss hav to waytansee!
But, but, but … ai has no patients!!!!
An Ai donut has yur snayulmayul address – will be a lawng tym til yu get yur pressents if yu donut send it me – Ohai, is yu SJ Martoonie? Nope? OK…Ohai, is yu SJ Martoonie? Nope? OK…Ohai, is yu SJ Martoonie? Nope? OK…Ohai, is yu SJ Martoonie? Nope? OK…Ohai, is yu SJ Martoonie? Nope? OK…
But we is in TTI!!! Ai is just neckst door!
Besides, u will kno it is me, becuz ai is GORJUSS (sofarasuknoatleest)
Uv korse Martoonie b gorjuss!! AWL Cheezpeepz b gorjuss. I thinkk dat b in deh bai-lawz sumwarez.
***Chekz bai-lawz.
Yup, heer it b:
bai-law elebenty dot sea dot pea. Bai daffy nishun, ennee adn awl CheezPeepz b witty, charming, funnee, caring, gracefull, musikilee adn aurtistiklee talented and GORJUSS adn/oar HANDSUM.
Cud ai has a helps, pls? Wut is hotribena? Iz it TTI drinkies?
Yesh, the ribena is blakcurrent drink, u dilootes it wiv teh water. So in teh summer (if u has a summer) u can yoos teh cold water, an in teh winter u can yoos teh hawt water. The hotribena is bery commonly yoosed for teh treetment of teh colds (is fullob vitamin cee). Tastee and nootrishus!
Fang queue, Martoonie! Sownds yummy – ai lovs teh currents.
Ai needs sum ribena. Ai libs in Orygun wich has a summer and sort of a TTI winter. Wich just starteded wif rayne dis week. Nao fur 9 moar munths of it.
Teh good fing iz we has lots of helfy stores so ai can get ribena eezly, ifinkso.
Wehn ai wuz liddlol girl, teh ribena had lots ob vitamin cee, but also LOADS ob sugar. Back in dose days, eberyfing did! Now u can has teh sugar free ribena, so mai dentist has nawt had so menny caribeen crooses lately.
*snerk*
Fangs agin fer teh helps – has to run to gushifud store nao.
anni, I’z studied in Ingerland back in 2001, soz I know bout tiem diffrance! I wood luv to go bak soemtiem!
hi wantz to be fwends
Invisible fly-on-nose?
unintelligencer.com
oh and this one is one of the best ever.
yur outfit – is nawt so grate akshully
Some peeps got no fashun sense nohow.
If only wii kud habbing a fashun show…….
hmm.. yesh, a fashun show… but but but hu cud possibly put on such an ebent inna cheezland…?
Cheezee fashunz — I haz it!!!
.
Mebbe wii kud gitting Susan adn Trinny (deh WUt Not 2 Ware galz frum TTI)?? Dey wud b most helpful.
Maybe Carson Cressley too – he always has teh gud fashun tips! Also he is less annoyin dan Trinny an Susannah.
A treeyeroled kid, kikkin teh bak ov yur seet, awl teh wai form Lunnon to GnuYok is less annoyin tahn Tranny an Soozanny!
Srsly, GP, all teh campy sellebrities camped out on my lawn is looking and smelling a bit… off. Could u load them into teh van and drive thru teh carwarsh wif teh winders open? kthxP.U.
Shore, gimme minnut… oh, cween has asky waht thyme the fashun show will start next caturday?
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* ushers lebretees into GP’s Majikal Fun Bus
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Hey, plz to nawt be pushing! Mick, put taht YNG down! Meet, plz donut eet taht! Sting, feets offa seets plzthx! *sigh
.
otay, nao ebberywon strappety strappety inna booster seets? Gud. Plz to open teh windoes adn hold breth… HEER WE GO…
Ohai GP, if u happens to has Jorjj Clooney or Danyull Craig or Allun Rickman or Jonnee Depp awn ur Majikal Fun Bus, an bai chance tehy gets awl wet, just let me kno an ai will come rite ober tehr wiv a Hunnert Dollar Towell an dry tehm awf. Cannawt has tehm catchin teh colds before teh fashun show!
Ai wil bolunteer 2 sakrifyce maisef & dri awf Antonio Banderas shud de kneed aryse. U doan hab 2 tank meh, itz otay.
Banderas… Banderas…? lemme check teh registur… oh, dere he is, puttin lotion awn – he’s awl greesey adn awl yurs BF!
O hai, mister carwashman! Plz to be using teh soap, yu noes, teh one taht smells lika slawberries… mmm… huh? oh, no fankies. ai prettee shore LCB donut wanna waxed lebretees!
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* GP watches as Majikal Fun Bus goes thru carwash adn lebretees get awl sparklee clean adn smell slawberry fresh
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Brad – donut forget to wash behaind yur eers.
otay, ebberywon offa teh bus plz!
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Nao… George, Daniel, Alan adn Johnny plz to be standee ober dere; sommedy be rite wib yu.
.
Angelina, Jennifer plz to be standee ober dere…
oh an iffn yuo have any boi bahnds, culd you plz mebbe uhhh.. misplayse dem?? errr.. whoops?
* checks registur…
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“Take That”? take waht??? mussbe a typo aifinkso, yesh.
…teh rest ob yu plz to be standee unner teh hot air blowers ober dere…
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NAWT YU, Mr Bush… Obama, McCain adn Palin – yu tree standee ober dere. uh huh, taht’s it… a littel tu yur left, grate!
.
* watches passing motorists throw rotten froot adn smiles
Oh, GP, ai fownd Gordon Brown hidin in teh back of teh bus. Ai putted him ober dere next to his big frend Jorjj Bush.
*snerk*
*rushes in, clutching hunnert dollar towell* Ohai, Jorjj, Danyull, Alan an Johnny. Let me help u owt of dose wet clothes.
Best bring teh YNG ober heer too. Cos awl tohse cloves will need irnin bfor tehy can put tehm bak awn. Yeh tahts rite, lots ob irnin!
I think we will be havening our Fashun Show on teh 2 pic of teh day next Catwalkurday, Octobrr 11. It’s early in teh for us US peeps but we can mabye stays up all nite teh nite befoar. It also gibs us time to do our errants and stuff. I eggspect that teh festivities will goes on for a while.
Thats:
4am Cheeztime
7am Pacific
8am Mountain
9am Central
10am Eastern
3pm in TTI
4pm in teh rest of Yerp
I has to go lie down now.
3pm inna TTI – ai has tu be getting up errlee? Pleh!
I don’t expect u’ll be gettin to bed teh nite befoar. There will be lots of last minnit details to attend to. Such as…
Assuring there will be enuff shampers.
Bedecking teh JCH4K Amphitheatre wif festive decorations.
Coloring teh beige carpet red.
Directing traffics backstage.
Ensuring there will be enuff shampers.
Flunky dooties in general.
G…
Guinness Piggeh purrsonal thyme???
Denied!
but but but… * lukks up at LCB wib big eyes
Iz better tahn lukkin up at her wiv big feets.
*eggaspirated sigh*
Fine. U can has 10 extry minnits. We’ll just pour our own shampers.
she lieks tu torment me, aifinkso…
Grooomin
Hair – doin it
I Liner – puttin it awn
Jujjjin (don’t ask me, but tehy is always doin it awn Queer Eye for Teh Straight Guy)
K…
Keeping teh lebretees in line
Lining up teh modells
Mixing Chokklit Martoonies
Nibbling onna Chokklit Army Dillers
Opening moar shampers
P…
Pozin
Queueueuein up for teh front row seats
Runnin in hi heelz
Sashayin down teh catwalk
Trippin ober…oops Naomi…
U…
Undoing teh wrapping onna boxes ob Hunnert Dollar Towels adn FCHRG(wdoi)
Vanishing fur a meeseley 10 minnut brake!
Washy up awl teh playtes adn glasses
Xcitement, controlling eet
YNG’s & YNG’s – keeping dem bisee
ZZZZZZZZZZ
Yah, but awn the positive side, at leest teh pubs will be open!!
martoonie – wii has yu down fur modellin jootees atta teh tawp ob teh show… has yu got yur shoos reddy?
Ai ALWAYS has shoos reddy!!!!
Egg Salad!
Not that I shouldn’t consider gettin some noo wuns, ob corse. Seein as ai will be modellin an eberyting. Ai wunder if Manolol Blannick delibers?
* rummage rummage rummage inna Majikal Floofy Prezunt Sack..
.
nao, lemme c… Jimmy Choo? nope. Ugg Boots? nope. Toe ‘tectors? defo nope!
.
* rummage rummage some moar…
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Wellingtons? nope. Flop Flips? nope. ah, heer we go “Manolol Blannick” inna nice sensibull heel wib littel martoonie glasses fur buckles
*slips on Manolols*
A perfick fit!!! (dis nebber happens IRL, btw!) Butt…where u goin wiv dose Jimmy Choos?
Fleabay! taht Shampers won’t pay fur itself!
Um…ok ai buy tehm from u. Luk, ai has a hunnert dollar towel! Is a liddle bit damp, but udderwise, gud as new!
wib teh economunee teh wai eet es, a Hunnert Dollar Towel issa ownlee wurth feeftee pwdns inna TTI
.
ai wud axe ept paymunt inna chokklit…
Ai has a kwarter of a bag of Catbury’s choklit buttons … but u bedder get heer quick or ai will has a MT bag of Catbury’s choklit buttons.
* sniff sniff…
no fankies, ai ownlee liek mai chokklit assa aider:
Hawt Chokklit, oar
Bebbeh Animules (army dillers, efalumps, weesuls, dat kind ob thing)
O I C. *rummidges in cubbord*
Ow! *puts back tinofbeens*
Coff! *puts back flour*
Crinkle! *puts back … er … eats biscuits*
Wait! Wut is dis! Is a bocks of choklit stoats! An sum choklit bebbeh yoonicorns! Will dey do?
jammy dodgers?……..need help wit dat?
*grabbitee paws snatch sum chonklitt bebbeh yoonicorms*
*stuff in mouf*
om nom nom nommitee yummee!!!!
* lukks at 4.5K nommin chokklit bebbeh yoonicorms…
.
otay, ai has teh chokklit stoats den OHM NOM NOM NOM! fankies martoonie!
Stoats be a weasels fambly!
We rezent teh simbolik dev… deev… nomming uv our cuzzins in misunnerstoodedness!
Tihs iz a moral outrayge!
Teh Rabid Weasels No-insult Leeg will protest tihs!
*rounds up teh rabid weasels n puts tehm back tu
wurk wurkin*
*pawzez tu wavie hai tu ebrywun*
* wavies to Prysm
.
nom nom nom – yu shud reeley try dese, heer hab won!
*aksepts chokklit stoat*
Fankies! Chokklit tu keep mai brayns wurking!
Weasels be nawt gud at transkrypshun, aifinkso.
Ai having tu soopervyze tehm ebry minnit.
Tehy keeping trying tu type in lolspeak, n tehy berry slow typists.
Hey, pinney-gigs r nawt weasel fud, stawp sneekin up lyk taht! Ebrybudy back tu offis, ryte nao!
EEP! * scampers off tu fynd safe plaice wib no rabid weesuls
.
{{{Cheezfrends}}}
*Handz pk moar chokklit stoatz.
Heer hunny, u kneed tu keeping up ur
energeez! rangling weezilz b tuff wurk.
No hunnee. Yur tale not luks big in dat.
skweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
skwinkee nozie!!!
skweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
ai lubs teh skwinkie nozies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u need neuw ouftit ascually
itz not waht I tink, iz haow it makz u feel!
taht awluz meenz, yes it maeks yoo look fat
hahahahahahaha
but i meanz if yoo tinks it lookz bad….i meanz yoo don’t hav to wearz it if yoo….no tahts not hao i ment it!!!1!!!1…
tehr iz no right answer to taht qwestion.
Srsly! Er…you did keep teh receet, rite?
No it duzn’t make ur butt luk big……ur butt IZ big!!!!
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OH!!! OW!! UOCH!!! No pointy endz!!! No pointy endz!! I wuz just kidding!! Yah, datz it, I wuz just kidding!!! OOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!
2 laet, Aifinkso!
Yeah, ur rite, it DOES luk better awn ur frend Shawna. Hey, wut’d ai say?
*snerk*
nao reely sweethart, wud diz faice lye 2 u?
fate worse than death kitteh might as well play in traffic, he’s inna ain’t-gonna-win-sitchooashun.
.
“It looks great”…public reaction….”How can you let me go out like that?”=death
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“It looks silleh”…private reaction…”You heartless bastard…”=death
Also in this series :
“I thought u sed u were gettin ur hair cut today?”
“Ai did. Ai wuz at teh salon for four howrs an it costed elebenty pounds”
“But it luks just teh same”
(Mr Martoonie’s speciality)
Why yesh, he is buried under teh patio, why u ask?
o. datz wot dat schmell iz.
But look how well teh roses are growin!!
mai DH izza berry smart man.
hee sez, “u haz teh ovver outfitz ai lykes beddur…”
Mai huzbing’z lien wuz “U aer goin to ware a skarf wiv dat, aern’t u. Teh nekk lien iz berry lo”
ai thot taht’s whhut tehy lyked!!??
depends upon the prospective audience, themselves,…………. or others
yeh, ya just try dating a hair stylist, there just is no winning,….let’er new fiance deal with it.
ai thot taht wuz “financier” frum teh diskusshun yesterdae…
.
itz nawt sew much that there shud be “winning”, but at leest there shud nawt be ennybuddy “losing” alla tyme.
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ai sends u a linkee inna message to cheerz u up, shd.
didn’t work that show, but have worked that building.
.
thanks, that was indeed a hoot.—er (sorry, really.)
not that I’m……………bitter or anything.
*passes shd a choklit martoonie*
*clang* thxmuch, dubbleplz?, watchoo wanna for to drink?
Oh, well, ai is neber known to refuse martoonies oar shampain! Whateber u has handy.
Or should ai say”stagehandy”?!!! Har Har Har.
ok ai’m sorry.
nah, prolly stagechandy?
stagecherrybrandy?
luk at yur messagez in yur profyle… ai didn’t kno u wuz a singer shd!
*nibbles on shd’s arm*
No, not bitter. Just needs some choklit.
Plz do not eat teh cheezfriends.
In defence of teh feemale of teh speeshees (self included), ai wud point owt that there is also no correct answer to the queschun “am ai losing mai hair / goin grey / gettin a beer gut / too old to wear a Clash t-shirt outside my jeans?”
it haz been my (admittedlee limited) experience, dat menz handle dis sorta fing differently. When told “no, dear, your gray hair makes you all the more handsome and distinguished, and you really had too much before, anyway” the malespecies takes it foar da g0spel truth, preens even longer befoar da mirra, and has a smug look on faze. Wot duz you call a male regent in Egypt? King 0′DeNile?
Oh. Ai just sed “yesh” to all kweschuns. Ai see now dat ur way may be bedder.
be berry careful about eye rolling if and when you use dis teckneek.
my hubby alwayz akses me, “am i getting too many gray hares?”
i’ve bin getting gray hares since i wuz 18. i not feel sorry for him.
bsides, on him it looks distingwished.
IDK ITZ LOOKZ BAD TO MEES
Kitteh wel knoes taht teh sytuashun bees:
“Darned iyf yuu duu adn darned iyf yuu doant”;
adn him awlsoe knoes veree wel nawt tuu laff;
iyf him iys lukkee, hims kan chainge teh subjekt;
Oar feign iyllniss, deffniss, oar heer an iymajinaree ryngyng ov teh doarbell;
Iyf awl eylse failez, hims kan fauwl daown inna ded faiynt, adn preetehn hims hazza splort!!!!!
Mai former BF wud just sai, “Um, wut’s teh rite anser?” Lol!
“Yes, Hyacinth!”
Remy update: The vet called to tell me that Remy has a problem expressing his bladder
I’m heading there to see what’s going on but she said that he may not be able to come home tomorrow. Let’s hope and pray for the best!
Aksing CC tuu halp yuu adn Remy; Ai haz yuu iyn mai thots & prayures;
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Oh no… roller coaster, emotionally. {{{{{{Valesa n Remy}}}}}}
{{{{{Valsea & Remy}}}}}
Sending good vibes to you and your Remy.
{{{{{Valsea&Remy}}}}}
{{{{{valsea an remy}}}}}
… doesn’t make your butt look fatter.
“hoo sed anyfing abowt my butt, HONEY??”
Noe, an it doan mekyu luk big iithur.
Addin prayrz fur Remy an Valsea
anybody wantz te discus armadillos?
i do
who likz armadillos?
y do u lai?
I like the version that says, “Whut?” Under it, rather than this…
whats up with the spelling?
dis id lolcat’s language:)
da wife kitteh iz convinceed akshully