StalkerKitteh not detered by ADT

StalkerKitteh not detered by ADT
i can wait a very very long tiem.
picture: Midge411. lol caption: Shalomar
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StalkerKitteh not detered by ADT
i can wait a very very long tiem.
picture: Midge411. lol caption: Shalomar
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
Alway Deter Tomcatswhostalk
Careful noa LCB, kitteh culd be uh voluntier fyreman. Ai know that job yooshully giben tu teh Dalmie goggies, but yoo wuld nawt want tu deter him then aifinkso.
*jes in case*
Beside, it luks liek hims hidin uh shiney fing behind himz bak.
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BTW – Conga Rat Shoe Laces awn yor nawt sekkund. Drinksees and danses?
How bout a Bluddy Mary wif — whut else? — a celery stalk innit? I is still a little shookened up from my earlier adventure in teh sky, so mabye we coulds dance down close to teh flore? Like doin’ teh gator?
hay, no hit me wif da celereez, kthnx. if you celery me do i nawt bleet?
Would it be ok if I tickled u a little bit wif teh celerys?
ok, but if you tickls us, do we not laff?
and she who laffs, lasts.
and if i lasts…hmmm. dunno wot comes next…
*wanderz off mutterink to self*
Akshully, if you tickls us, we pee.
And she who laffs last, WINS! Bwah haaa haaa!
Kinda liek she who dies wit teh most toys.
Wait…wut?
Ai’m ‘posed tu be maiken dwinks and pwayin musik.
BRB.
Wadka? – Check!
‘Matter jyoose? – Check!
Lemon? – Check!
Worches…Wurster…Lea & Perrins? – Check?
Tabaskee? Check!
1 2 celery stixs fur garnish
1 lemon wedge fur garnish
::mixee mixee mixe::
Pours glasses fur eberybawdee.
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K- BRB wit teh musik.
Ai’m sawry LCB. I culd nawt find N-E musik fur teh gator dance (spesikulee).
Ai hoap dis wurks instead.
.
♫ Hawt sun beating down
Burning mai feetz jes wawkin arownd.
♬ Hawt sun makiing meh sweat
gators gettin clows, haz nawt gawt meh yet
♪ Ai kin nawt danse, I cant tawk.
♩ Onlee fing ’bout meh iz teh way ai wawk.
♪ Ai kin nawt danse, I can nawt sing
♩ Ai’m jes standing here sellun everyfing.
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♫ ♬ ♫ ♬ ♫ ♬ ♫ ♬ ♫ ♬ ♫ ♬ ♫ ♬
*tosses back a few bluddies*
That myoosic is just fine.
*drops to flore, flops around wildly moar or less in time to teh myoosic*
i gots sum, heer ya goes:
(singin)
Polk salad Annie – ‘Gators got your granny!
Everybody said it was a shame
‘Cause her mama was aworkin’ on the chain-gang
(a wretched, spiteful, straight-razor totin’ woman,
Lord have mercy. Pick a mess of it)
I lurves that song!
CHOMP!
BamaHern!! HAI!!
Where hav yoo bin??? Corse – ai’ve bin goan a lot. Hav yoo bin heer awl along??
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Ai traied to find a Gator sawng oar pome fur Mary O’ wunc, but ai cudn’t find enething!
BamaHern. Hav yoo put yurself awn ar noo Cheezland map??? cweenmj iz in charj. We had wun that Moe maed, but ai think a troll borked it. So cweenmj iz also guarding it.
Just emayol her yur nayme an where yoo live – an maybe a liddle sentence about yur hoam place. Laik ai say “Awn the shores ov teh beautiful Lake Michigan.” Sumthing laik that.
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cweenmj@gmail.com
aisle doodat!
ai nawt bin lukin at comments much
distrakktid bai moozik, genieoo..jayneogl..fambly tree kinda stuff
adn puttin a sour edning onna suite creer…karrier…job
Hai Janet!!

I takez ur kew and posting dis heer. Sum peepz haz not seeinged dis nowns mint.
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Deh cheezfrenz map maded by Moe got borkt. Adn, I can not b cween wifowt noeing wear mai subjekz b.
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So I haz mading a gnu Cheezpeepz map. Deh map b at
http://www.maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&ll=44.412202,-92.823486&spn=0.847561,1.763306&z=9&msid=103775879896697322828.0004573f951750ea89599
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Adn 2 keeping deh skurvee dogz frum hakking it, I will keeping it under mine own kuntrol. If u b wanting 2 b on deh new map, sending mii an emayo at cweenmj@gmail.com wif ur ICHC name adn deh town/city adn state oar kuntry u b in. I will putting u on deh map.
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I ken also putting a small commint on deh marker if u haz sumfing u wantz to putting dere. I duzn’t putting in enee moar (or less) info on deh map dan u b wanting. Mostly I putz peepz in deh middul uv deh town dey b telling mii. If just wants ur state oar kuntree identifyed, dat b ok 2.
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U duz not hav to b habbing a ICHC akkownt or b a yahoo cheezfrend, or habbing a weirdpress akkownt oar b a cheezfrend uv mine oar nussing else. Just sending mii deh emayo.
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I mading dis gnu emayo address just 4 making dis map. I promise not 2 spamming ennywun hoo ritingz 2 it. Plz to using dis address onlee 4 putting ursef on deh map.
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wii now returning u 2 ur regular commintz.
Hai cweenmj! Waht a byootiful map it iz! Ai’m werking awn getting sanafabich. He’s frum Chile!! Just think ov that! Ai think he iz the awnlee wun we hav in awl ov Souf Amerika.
I just puttinged pinkcutekitteeh in COLUMBIA!!
Yay! anuzzer kontinet taken over bai deh Cheezpeepz!!
Yur doing what???? Yur job? What haz happened??
retiring soon
yay!
Retyrement can bee lots ov fun. Yoo ar doing urlee retyrement? Ai dint think yoo wud be awld enuf fur regular! But tehn – yoo wud hav moar taim to come heer moar!
urlee? u deeside
iz 0×39 yeers awld
Ai wud say. . .that iz reelee verree. . .YUNG!!
Hao can yoo doo that?? Oar iz this another ov yur riddlez??
no riddlez!
u no taht iz in hexadismal, dunt u?
0×1E yeers workin teh puterz
moddist liefstile
whut lite from yonder winder breaks?
What wind frun yonder winder flames?
Oh man…I messed that up.
What wind from yonder winder lites?
.
Crap…nevermind!
mai Shakespeer, let me show u it!
tis teh beast, and juliened toona is teh nom.
*takes mimzoid’s Shakespeer outside to see whut it looks like in teh light*
YOINK
Mehbee Bill kin halp meh shake teh cobweb owtta mai bwain.
What wind breaks frum yonder window (and iz lit)?
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FFFFWOOOOOOOMMMMMM!
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Yes?
No?
::crickets::
No!
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Aw well…Bill…Shake meh senseless and then speer meh in the hed wuldya?
Alright naow, jest yu putz dat fing awai bfour sumwun luuses an eye!!!
Wood eye? Wood eye?
yes yew wood.
hay, kitsunerina! How’s teh teaching goin’?
itz going rillee well. ai spend monday thru thursday in my how-to-be-a-teecher klasse (ime sooo glad this is mai last semester of that), and my fridaze ai spend at the skool wif mai sixth graders. sum uv them think ime weerd, but thatz okay. there are onlee 24 uv them too! itz a teeny tiny klass! i kant wate until november wen ai kan be there awl week lawng.
oh, an teh PE teecher is rillee hawt too… he kud be a fyreman…
Oh mai gudness! kitsunerina!!
Ai wuz just thinking about yoo an wondering where yoo were. Yoo ar . . .teeching?? ai cant see waht LCB rote.
izzint life funneh taht way? wen yu thinks abowt sumwun, sumtaims they shows up agen- rite then just to let yu noe tehy are safe. ai herd abowt yer tragedee, but ai wuz too bizzy an didnt hav time to rite yu a note giving yu a big hug. so isle do it rite nao-
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Janet}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I fink, if I members kureckly.. Teh anser to “wood eye…wood eye, iz”….
Big nose…. Big nose!!!
Wut duz I win????
Oar Peg Leg…Peg Leg. Either wun.
WIN!!!
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Tell her wut sheez wun Johnny…
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Elebenty trips to the Ty Booteek tu pick owt wuteber you want.
Rownd twip twickets to CatManDoo where yew and uh fwend will spend 7 wonderous days laying in the sun and chasin flutterbys and pretty mush doin nuffin.
A life tiem supply ob Rice-o-Roni; the San Fwancisco Tweet.
Ding! Ding!
(u fergot deh streetcar bell)
I knows what yoo dids last summer.mwaaah
What teh heck awr yoo garden, anyway? Speakin ob gardens, when you gunna plant sum real grass down here?
Hey maaaannn, like, stay off the grass maaannn, you know?
::window kitteh says::
Dave’s nawt here maaannn.
no, I’m Dave!
C’mon! Open up the
doorwindow, will you? I got thestuff‘nip with me, I think thecopsgoggies saw meDave? Dave’s nawt hear.
Harsh maaannn!
Cheech and Chong ref FTW!!!!!
JCH4K!!1! I has missded you. I yam ver sawy about yer mawm but I read th tahat Eric was being nyce to her an dey wer wiff de Kittehs in deh Princess Mu Meadow. I yam also a liddle surprized dat yew cotched the Cheech an Chong ref, dats simply nawt the kinda album dat I wooda figgured dat a sofisticatted feeture an opera lady would hab a familiar wid. Are yew fulla surprizes or is dis it?
dagnabbit I mented theater, nawt feeture. I caint eben blame werdpress fer dat mistook. As soon as I read up on how to do blushey faces I’m gonna stick one near here.
laik this. : oops :
Yoo know to take out the spaces, rite?
Oh no!
Ai think ai am full ov surprizes! Ai hav led a moast stranj an advenchurous laif. At leest, menee think so. Fur me, it iz just mai laif.
.
But thank yoo fur teh gud thots about mai mahm. An ai wuz awlso happee to see hur wif Eric in the Princess Mu Meadow. ‘Cept just thinking about it gives me teh leekee aies again.
Objecks in da grasses larjer dan dey appears.
StalkerKitteh followed you home…and now knows where you live.
Stawker kitteh awl dressed up an noware to go…
oooh, cweepy.
Stawker kitteh knoz u haz catnips. Won’t leave without some.
“nawt nao. dadcat iz heer. he willz seez yew! kumz bak laytur!”
Letz down yur hare Rapunzelkitteh!
U knoes, if I taked every cat hare in this house and weaved them all together, I’d have…
A afgan big enuff to cover Akron
Beautiful blankets for my bed
Covers for all my cars
D…
Dekorativ doileys fur ur coffee tabul
Energee savin blankees fur teh winter
Ginormous sweaturs fur alla familee an frens
H…
Hats fur awl the gentlemens heer
Italian floofee knikers (grene)
Jumperz fur awl teh peepl in teh TTI – an Scotchland, too!
K. . .
Kilts fur keltik selkies
Lampshades wif laces
M…
Magnificent Mackintoshes
Nest linings fur awl teh burdies in Della Wear
Opulent Ostrich leg warmers
P. . .
Prittee arm cuvvurz fur teh chaerz
Qwiltee fur teh bed
Rugz fur awlober teh howse
S…
Sweaterz fur awl yur sisters an yur cuzzins an yur ants
Tamz fur awl teh ladiez
Unnerware, sawft an floofee
V. . .
velour jakkets liek mai mum had in teh bak uv the klosit
warm wooly wunnerful wraps
xactly wut ai need to keep mai tozees warm
y…
Yung Yak hat
Zipped Zebra-stripey chackit
“Stellahh!!!!”
A Streetcat Named Desire ref FTW!
dang. fergotz mai boombox.
u doan need it, just say anything
An heer fur yur iluminashion teh lost text tu teh drama playin owt bfour us:
Romeow: “Mrrrooo?” Translolshion = “R yu comin down?”
Julietkitteh: “Mraa!” Translolshion = “Noe!”
Romeow: “Mroo, mrrrr?” Translolshion = “But y?”
Julietkitteh: “Mrrrooaw mow! Translolshion = “Yu know y!”
Romeow: “Meoowwoo mrrrooo?” Translolshion = “But Honey?”
Julietkitteh: “Mrrraa, pffftt meoowwoo!” Translolshion = “Don u honey mee!”
wif regrets to nativeca66, ifinkso dis mush moer lykely to be wut kittehs are sayin. rest of cumbersation nawt printable on fambly site lyke dis wun…
I dunno…dis conbersayshun luks liek it mite lead tu some window breaking oar window lighteeng, oar light breaking oar breaking wind oar…
wuteber!
jes checkin 2 c if meh name b bloo…..
furr get teh bloo name-meh abitar b on Yea!!!!!!!
Verree nice, plasticat! Didyoo doo that yurself?? Ai still dont know hao to do it, BUTT – mai neece Jennifur iz coming tomorrow to teech me hao! So YAY!!! Sune ai mite be joyning yoo!!
Yay!!!U knows teh weird ting about dis picture iz dat not eben half an hour b4 it waz putted on Ai made a stalkerkitteh Lol-can c it on my profile aifinkso……
O hay, u guise. In case u hasn’t seed teh nouncements that we post during teh daytime, we has a place u can goes to writes a message to our fren JanetCanHas4Kittehs:
http://www.kthxbuy.com/jch4kmessages.html
There is also a place where u can go to give a money to buy Janet some jolly fleurs and donate to a good cause in her mommeh’s memory:
http://www.kthxbuy.com/jch4k.html
Sum how u kunvinsinged mii 2 gibbing u a munnee. But it wuz not a shinee munee, it wuz a plastic munnee, so don’t b thinking u will keeping it.
.
But seryuslee, dis b a wunder mouse thing u b duing LCB. ♥ i noez ower deer Janet will haz a happee bkuz uv it.
{{{LCB}}} {{{{Janetz Mom}}}} {{{Janet}}}
Thx!
Don’t forget to be {{{}}}ing MaryO and Ambercat, who thinked up teh idear.
I b skeered to {{{}}}ing MaryO — her haz deh Tendrilz Uv Doom dat keep trying 2 rap demselfz arownd mii. If I gitz klose nuff to {{{}}}ing her *shudderz* her kud trapping mii in deh tendrilz!!
Why is the ADT sticker facing the inside of the house?
So da peeps dusn’t nawt breaks owt!
uuummm……
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Sekuritee stikker– ur doing it rong!!
dats so teh stalkekitteh noes dat teh alarm system works backwards-so gittin into teh house b eesy,gittin back oat:nawt so eesy
***BIG BRAEKFROO IN TEH SHIRO-HAPPYCAT SAGA!!!***
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we haz acheevd resiprokal fayse-likking!!
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bak to yor regulolarly skeduled lolz.
*gives 21-tung saloot in onner of this grate nooz*
yay! happycat hassa a kitteh family nao!
*tryes to throw cweemfetti but gets it stukked awn mai fingers*
hmm…
HAPPYFINGERS!
*Duz a cartweel 2 sillee bray shuning dis aw spish us Kayzhun!*
basilic bloomers?
wow, yoo duz purty gud kartweels! mebbee i kan try it.
*crash* *oof*
Hoap u b ok. I going 2 bed noaw.
Nitee nite. {{{{lunarmommy}}}
{{{{cheezpeepz}}}}
::Doez uh splendid somersault and smacks intu the solarium::
…oar wuz dat teh lunarian?
Pardon meh LM.
lower kitteh: i can has grail?
upper kitteh: oh hai, i alreaddy got one, ees verreh nass
meh… ADT is nothing to be scared of anyway. Pinnacle Security FTW!
Kitteh learns the hard way why you shouldn’t post personal information on the Internet. Oh, wait. Kittehs can’t type…
Sure dey can. ‘Cept eberyfing comz out asdfjkl; wif noe spaces. How du yo fink lolspeek wuz started?
yes tehy can type, it can be detected…
Ai doan wan 2 tawk 2 u nao moor, u emptee heded aminal fud trough wiper. ai fartz inn ur genral direkshun. ur mother wuz a hammyster an ur fadder smelt ob elderberris
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Iz dere sumwun elze up dere wii cahn tawk 2?
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Nao. Naow goe awai oar ai shall tawnt u a sekond tyme!
Yay, Monty Python! *clippityclops kokonuts 2gether wile runnin away*
Romeo Kitteh wehrin hiz tux, buttt Juliette Kitteh do nawt want t0 g0 t0 prom wid him… Tsk tsk.
Guts, i haded them but i eventually eeted tehm!
aww
Ah furgot my trenchcoat and boombox.
Oh mai!
Noe, noe. Yu hazzit awl rong. Tux kittoon iz SERENAYDIN tabberz.
skaree staker kitteh! stupeed kitteh tho. ADt iz comeeng