Dis Microwaves
Dis Microwaves Take to long
mebbeh u shud tri dis microwave.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: pinkydw
« Previous couples counseling: | Warning: Next »
» 157 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
news from 
Contact Us
-
Who be Talkin'
Teh fudz iz still moovin.
Sounds like the stuff I clean out of the back of my… er, I mean a friend’s fridge sometimes… er, once.
iffin it doan moov, i eets et.
iffin it moov juzt a lidl bit, i eets et.
whut teh heck. iffin i kin catch et, i eets et.
(credit 2 garfield)
yeh, raw is one thing, raw and protesting something else entirely (apologies to CJ Cherryh)
Hai Dan!! I b borreeing ur hi spot here fer a nouns mint!
.
Sum skurvy rat dun borkt deh cheezfrenz map. Adn, I can not b cween wifowt noeing wear mai subjekz b.
.
I haz mading a gnu map. Deh map b at
http://www.maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&ll=44.412202,-92.823486&spn=0.847561,1.763306&z=9&msid=103775879896697322828.0004573f951750ea89599
.
Adn 2 keeping deh skurvee dogz frum hakking it, I will keeping it under mine own kuntrol. If u b wanting 2 b on deh new map, sending mii an emayo at cweenmj@gmail.com wif ur ICHC name adn deh town/city adn state oar kuntry u b in. I will putting u on deh map.
.
I ken also putting a small commint on deh marker if u haz sumfing u wantz to putting dere.
.
I mading dis gnu emayo address just 4 making dis map. I promise not 2 spamming ennywun hoo ritingz 2 it. Plz to using dis address onlee 4 putting ursef on deh map.
ees okay, doo watcha gotta doo.
Schmoo 2 yoo Dan.
BTW– I di finish reeding ur story bowt deh okrah and deh
moeder sikkle t’other day. I lubz ur storeez! U b deh gud storee teller!
the thing is, I can’t make this stuff up. I’m not that good.
yesh, who wud make up teh camel?? hmmmm ai ask yew…..who?
and did I tell you that they are coming back Dec ‘09?
pleez tell me witch lol teh infamous
camel storee iz awn, pleez iffn its
pawsibul…
is tew bad der issn’t a search feechur fur teh commintz laik der iz fur teh lols….
dude that spider was huge, goats in a tree. try that.
twas teh nite we had teh campfyre an we awl sitted round waitin fur dan tew tell us teh storeeee….an himz takin a naps awl dat time too!!!!
wow Dan, how did yew member dat???
here yew go PC
icanhascheezburger.com/2008/07/17/funny-pictures-spider-wuz-huge/#comments
’cause it was my first story on ICHC, got anudder one recently as well.
and both of them started innocently enough, just from a remark I made.
kthanxmanxz! lol
oh mai, aifinkso jus cudda bin more funniest teh nawt first time!! ai lolled out loud tew!!!! prehensile lips……..
seriously, I wouldn’t be suprised to see them working a rubiks cube while they think nobody’s looking.
oh dan! that iz wun wild n crazy
life yu havn funz n…verreh funni
camel ov teh Prehensil Lips storee,
adn evrybody waitn n havn fun
antissipatn…jus grand lol…n wow
u hav teh gud memree!!
is yew still herz Cweenie? ai noes it be muchly later der dan here!
if yew is yew can puts me in Auburn, Wa
and teh Smom in Moscow, ID
I bees seein herz tomorrow nite in Orygun an be seein teh Beach Boys!!!
W00T W00t!! (dat b fer seeing deh Beech Boyz wif Sweet Mozzer uv deh Marshunz)
I will putting u bof on deh map. brb
wut yew dewin wai down here??? spose WP will put us bak shortleeee….
how’s trix at teh folks house? are yew “littel cweenie” again?
ai jus nooo dat WP wud dew dat!! wen ai ansered yew it wuz at teh bottom ob teh payge!!
Wii ben visiting wif deh old folkz. Deh b lukking perty old, 2.
But dey keepz on chuggin along. 
Dad b werkin deh garden, adn Mom b bakin kuukeez.
Hhhmmph. I anseringed u, but WP eeted it. I tryz agin.
But dey b chugging along,
.
wii b bisiting wif deh old foekz. Adn dey b lukking like
old fokez, deez daze,2.
ok. Dadcat b werking in deh garden, adn Momcat b
bakin kuukeez.
*ears perk up* cookies?
Chokklit chip kuukeez. Momcat b on deh
no-gluten diet so dey b maded wif potato flour
adn rice flour. Berry gud, soft adn melty in ur
mouf.
*loadz plate wif kukkeez adn passingz it
*arownd 2 awl deh Cheezpeepz.
given that I’ll hurt somebody over potato bread, I can only imagine what ‘tater flour choco-cheep cookies.
.
just don’t tell me she used dark chokklit, I can’t afford to take off work and storm up there right now….
Ummmm.
ok, I won’t tell u.
:snerk:
naow, dats just…..mean
:nuzzer snerk:
had I the ‘puter skills…………I, I, I would change yer name to MEENmj, yeah..thats what.
hey hey hey! bwake it up! bwake it up!
dere, dats betta, i can has kuukie naw?
Hey cuuldude, what kinda kuukiez? Can I sharez-pweez?
ai ‘members ebbry time ai wud see mai pop himz wud be lukkin oldish at nawt second……. den ai wuz round him fur awyle himz wud be lukkin jus like ai remembered
like goin bak tew an old house wair yew libbed…….. always luks small tew me till ai ben der awyle….. den teh same
funny wut our remembries dew
U b dere!!
yay!! fanks…….. ai am on teh map… yippee
ai awlso laik to us dis spot to sai fankies fur ur wurk cweenie
ai wud nawt renaim u to meen, ai wud renaim u to sweet *hugs*
{{{siobha}}} Datz ok. Dan n I wuz only teezin!!
Hee hee! Ai wil knot tel ennywan. Itz r siikrut.
*SNERK*
Dat’s coz hamsterz aer a half-baked idea.
Deeze hammy-sters is nawt ebben haf-baeked.
Deh is still gud fer pow-er-in deh little fans in deh mikey-waves, Ai finkso.
mebbe i shud gits a hamstur nd maek it sew da lidl runnin-weel
makes electrisidy sew we saevs muneez nd den we can yoose
our xtra muneez 2 buy a WIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!
(whuever guessiz whut i wants fer xmas can win…um…a cookie.)
Ai guessiz U wants a Wii masheen. Wid deh kool inner-aktif gaemes.
I wants Peecan Sandeez cookie, plz. K. Thkz.
heer ya goe! (gif u imaginaree internet cookie, but iz da
siez of Texas)
but…um…der iz a flaw in mah electrisity pln. i doan
know hao 2 huk up turbyne 2 hamsterweel, nd hamsters
smell funneh.
Duz it smell funnee liek deh burned furs?
Oar funnee liek deh cuuked meetz?
Oar duz it smell funnee liek hammy-stir poo?
U must be specific wen reporting deze problims too deh help-desk!
Oar wii can knot help U efficiently.
Congratshoelaces, Nightshayde! Ai duz teh Hamster Wheel dans fer yu!
*runrunrunrunrun*
*dansdansdans*
oh no…… Hamster Dance earworm…….
“ba da bee da beee deeeee bow dow……”
AAAAUUUUUGGGHHH!!!
thinks we need to invent teh earworm intervention cart….
just imagine, the hamster dance birthday card, the one that plays that……blasted dance……….someone sent me that one.
.
she did pay a heavy price.
nao ai wans 2 noe whut dat price wus… tell me?
An’ ritely so. Haz she recubbered?
Dere otta be a law!
heer, ai will getz dat wurm owt ob yur eer wif mai turkee baister *sqweezsqweez*
*dansdansdans*
*runrunrun*
*sqweeksqweeksqweek*
I tink I will pre-heet deh ubben instaed.
maek sum cookeez insted. mowsee has ka-list-er-ol.
then leave off the hollan daze
Hollan daze on kookies?!?!
Duz not want!
Hollan daze is gud on ah-sparyguz, oar on de Eggz Bennydickt.
Nawt on cookies.
ummm, to leave off mausie, to save costlerlol.
Ohkai. No hollan-daze on deh mausie, or hammy-stir or whatever liddul mammal dat is in dere.
I needz moar costlesterall liek Ai needz eggstra wholes in mai hed.
Dems be gerbulls, ai fink so. Habs taels
Berry lau in clesteroil
Hey Nightshayde-
Wii iz nawt-seccund! Watt you wantz fer drinkies an dansin?
awwwwww, kint u peepls du sumtin els? liek goe nd see Batman moovee?
Ai wantz grog and dansin ub horny-pipes in honur ub Talks Liek A Pie-Rat Dai to silly-brate deh seccund nawt-seccund commint Ai maed on dis sight.
Knot Battered-Man movee. I canot goa aowt to movees tonite. Has 3 kidlets two snupervize and put two bed ‘ventually. And writing and printink ub skript fer a skit two-morrow two Finnish
Luks liek popcorn 2 meez.
da poppity-corms r ther 2 fattin up mowsee.
it taeks so much long, but is full ob flavr.
Looks like a boxed lunch.
Ok, gots little bottle uf drinkies, 2 meat items an sum odd lookin vegetable matter. But no dessert. Needs a cookie. ifinkso.
I haz won a cookie deh siez ub Texas, frum ChocolateSamus fefr guessing his Christmas wish. I will brake off a big piece an shaer it wid you fer deh boxing lunch.
Veri sweets! Thankies to u! Teh kitteh wil luv de box of lunch!
“a watched microwayve nevver… um… boyls” ???
.
hmmm, sumfin nawt kwite rite about taht.
.
ARRRRRR!
.
ok, taht’s bedder.
ya don’t wanna watch the nukker too close, all yer body hair’ll fall out.
.
.
er……..ummm, so I’ve been told.
Duz deh nuker onlee av-fekt body hairz? Nawt de hed-hairz?
IMWTK.
mebbe iffin i cud get in just da rite pozishun 2 da micrawayv ovin,
i wud nebbar haf 2 shayve agin.
Dats what Ai waz thinkin two, ChocoSamus.
GMTA
you’ll have to ask Bertha Bumiller.
bee payshunt kitteh – dey sai dat gud tings come tu dos hoo wayt…
Dos liddle blak spawts inna bedding luk like…EYES!
da popcorms inda hamstr caeg…dey iz watchin u?
Dis kitteh rilly on twap of hiss dinnur planz.
FTW!!!!
kitteh is waiting fr teh beep
taht nevr comes
Bawtill tayll Kitteh
habz payshunss. Knoez fuzzee lump
needz 2 sleepz summtymez
Fuzzee lump canz runnz
awll himz wantz 2. Kitteh knoez
himz no canz hyde
Bawtill tayll Kitteh
canz waytz awwwwllll day. Spawt awllmoast
gud az Windo-sill
Jack.
bawtill tayll…datz cute…havint hurd dat…lol…oh, lyk a bawtill brush!
n fuzzee lump…lol…yuz wunnurful Jack.
hey der, PC…….. how iz yew?? ai hazznt tawked wif yew in awyle!!
hey jamamakitty…i beez workn wif teh kidz at skool adn
lookn fur a hous far frum teh city…I saw yur original film wun
night…i thot teh soun and teh coloration was purfecshun! lol
Hav yu mad ne mor filmz?? and that wuz a clever lol that LCB
made fur yu. …… i saw sum relly wunnrful litl boxez
that water demselves practically and make everything yu plant
grow BEEG…i wantd to get sum for a patio veggie gardn..
n teh fuchur. i hav a shady NE patio neow…but they cud
mebbe werk on yur patio…
dis microwave goes BOOM???
Wun hopez not. Altho u never knows!
just remember,
take the lid offa da soup,
break da yolk onna egg,
and poke holes inna ‘tater.
then it goes or not goes BOOM?
these instructions are there for those who wish for things, NOT to go boom inna nuker.
if anywun missd it, hashim had teh GRATEST PUNCHLINE EBER to DavecanhasDrTinycat’s microwave soup story. heer it iz agin, an i qwote:
“microwave sed, yor soup, it had a flavr.”
i bin laffin ober dis eber sinse i furst seed it!
datz our li’l Hashim awlrite!! himz kwite teh card!!
yepper, that one is a classic
hmm… gee, fanks lunarmommy, SHD adn Jamamakitty
uz too kind!
oh Hashim, at teh risk ob soundin a liddel corneeee, yew haz brot a ray ob sunshine tew us here!! ai am glad tew noes yew!!!
Yup. Hashim b kwik wif deh wit adn full uv deh win adn awsumz. I b glad u b here, 2, Hashim.
fanks cween!!
i b glad to be ur subject too!
well kiddo, when ya hit one outta da park, ya gotta expect peeps to notice. What humbles me are the peeps for whom this is not based on thier native language. and they’re still this good at it? yeesh…
well yes, but to tell ya teh truff, im better in English than im in Urdu(the native language)
yeh?, I barely SPELL Urdu, much less speak it. so still, kudos to youdos, ya dig?
hmm.. yeah, i just spelled it right naow
i dig it!!
i giv it 5 tungz…UUUUU….thaz verreh funni hashim!
fanks Percycat!!
lolz!
how do I click on you!
yups
donut tri tew deny it, Hashim, yu iz a grate kid an a smart cukie, tew (iz yu blusheeng yet?)
Ifinkso, Hashim haz a hole famblee heer uv onner airy Antz adn Unkulz adn G’mawz adn G’pawz. ♥
and at least one godsister I’ve heard about.
yesh, uz right!!
such a big fambly!!
so… about teh car i wanted…
Do you really want the speech? The “when I was a kid……” speech?
ai told mai sun wen ai wuz a kidlet, we did nawt ware seetbeltz. he sed, wen yu wuz a kid, did they eben has roadz? o.O
and yet the child lives?
well, i tell meh dad to wear a seatbelt but he doesnt!! it shoulda been teh vice versa…
it took a law to get mine to. but perhaps 10 years as a policeman kinda got him into the habit of not wearing one so as to get out of the car quickly.
oh ya… teh polices duty iz hard, but kewl!!
they get pistols which is a WANT!!
he wuz seriyus
I have no room to talk, as a kid about 60% of the roads for the school bus were dirt. When it rained it took 2 hours to get home.
car? but fink ob all da starveeng childrin in Africa. wayt…rong line?
ok… furst we feed teh children, den car??
or if your friends drove a car offa cliff? would yew?
well, furst of all, my friend doesnt drive a car adn sekund of all, we dont have a cliff in our city…
haz ennywun seen werdycnan latelee? ai haz misst her; she’z a grate kid, tew
no, although the school year just started for her, and I think she’s near high school. That’ll frizz near anyone.
ai finkso she’s a homeskooler
huh, waddya know. fate worse that death, mom&dad/teacher/principal/coach all rolled into one…………..*shudders*
ohh….. dots!!……….
ai alwais sed the problem with homeschooling is that then…my kids would be HOME!!!1!
snerk, snerksnerk. yep
ok… so tahts how teh parents feel about teh kids…. intriging…
Oh, er, Hashim…hao long has yu been standeeng there? We wuzzent tawking abowt ennyfing, reely…
er..nope, we’re just standing over here being old codgers, pay us no never mind
.
*aside to Sum1* (wispers) ya tink he’ll fall for it?
*ahem* soooo…*lowd voise* Mitey funnee wether we’z been haveeng, issint it?
hmmm… yeah… now bak to teh subject *stern face*
why do u hate kids soo??
iz it becauz we’re too handsum??
yah, dats it, bwahahaha!!!!1!
or iz it??
*dramatic moosic*
i heard taht!!
sheesh… i knew dere waz sumfin weird wiff teh elderz…
*rolls up in corner*
you guyz are a hoot, but I must go prepare for work. See ya later.
.
Be well.
kthxfortehfunbai!!
meet ya… sum other tiem??
yup- been der, dun dat…. surviveded it….. i hom skooled gascat fur bout foru yers n fishykitteh fur wun…..
phuny fing…. did awl dat hom skoolin n nao I am wurkin awn bein especial ed teacha….. I fink hom skoolin makz brane go boing!
momcat
dat wuz weerd! hao did mai IRL nom get der? I bein gon cupla daiz…
whut happen?…… nawt eben quite rit…… I don use da MB az a nom aniware… Iz awlwaiz “havekids2″……
I likz mai ichc nom bedda
momcat
ha ha simple (raw) deal.
whutz up? no can getz mai gascat nom ta cum up….. no wantz ta beez “MB Sanford” eben ifnz it iz awlmos mai irl nom…
dis weerd- I no uses MB Sanford az a nom aniwares…. I iz awlwaiz “havekids2″…
gib me bak ma nom weird press!
momcat
der- dat bedda…..
Iz tell u da enden ub da spoose stori……
himz wuz ta hab a meatin dis wednestday wif meani manager n hooman resnorces ( da peepz dat u can neber get a holdz ub!)…. manager sented himz wun ub dem “afer 5pm mesages” ub “o bai da wai… weiz iz meetn in hooman resnorces tamara” spoose wuz wurkin lat gavering ub himz stuffz when himz foundeded it….. in r wirld dat kinda message meenz u iz da bye bye at da meatn….
we wuz wuried ifnz bein fireded ( boom!) wud afect himz retirededment… himz trieded awl wednestday morni ta findz awt n nobudi wud tell himz nuffin… sos… noin dat himz wuz mos likli gettn fireded at 1:30 pm….. himz decideded ta resign….lukz bedda whenz yur lukin fur joobs…. himz did dat at 12:45pm
den himz wented to da meetin…. wud u believez dat deh REFUSEDED ta sees him! Obvius himz caughted dem bai surprise!
sinc resinin himz had seberal contractaz cawl n enquire bout himz wurkin fur dem- wud meen himz nawt hom- fur lawng periodz ub tyme… nawt sos phun actualli…..
but…..phuni fing…..himz umemployied, iz unemployied…… but I feelz bedda den I haz ina lawng tyme! iz lik dat cumpani can no lawnga hurtz uz ani moar!
an- acuse himz quited nsted ub bein fireded- himz can beez rehireded at dat cumpani again….. himz onli needz 1,000 moar hours ub wurk der n himz can retire wif full beniflitz!
dis manager will go daon da toy-toy ‘bentually… deh awlwaiz do…. den himz can cum bak n getz himz retirededment!
Iz phuni- i iz a peacful……. himz two…. himz sleepin bedda den himz haz in two yers!!!!
I lub u awl….. u haz kepted meiz sane fru dis hole fing! u guiz iz sos gud…u awl iz mai saniti line!
(i cant du html…) {{{{ I lubz cheezpeepz!}}}}
momcat
tahts so gud to hear!!
wat a clever hubbeh u got there, getting resigned iz WAY better than getting fired!!
he did wat waz better and wez happee fur taht!!
{{{{{{{{Momcat adn fambly}}}}}}}}}
Yay for spoose and momcat! Gud luk wif da nu jawbs!
I haz a happee 4 u! Keeping deh peesfulness b gud. I b shure ur hubcat b finding gnu job in noe timez. {{momcat adn famblee}}
When ai furst reeded yur story ob yur hubbicats prablems at dat offiz Ai thot “OMG ! whoo wood whant tew werk der ?” dey sowned sew meen ! whanted tew tell yoo tew say to himz”good riddance! wi’ll findus sumting much betterer!” An dats jest wat gonna happen- yool see! {{{{{{momcat an hubbi}}}}}}
sew his thinking ob werkin sumwhere else for a while an den going back tew meen co for 6 months (1000 hours) foar tew qualify foar himz retirement?
I ar happeh fur yoo, momcat! {{{momcat and spoose}}} Bein out of a job is nawt sew grate akchooly, but better quitted den fireded! An teh impotent ting is dat yoo bofe has a happy!
KEWL BEANS.
Foar kitteh, iyts liek beeing at teh delikateesin: luukeing thru teh glass kase at teh luhnch meet awn dysplaiy;
Kitteh wil hasta waiyte foar awhyle, tho……hims wil probly faul asleap wautchyng hims dinnure goes rownd adn rownd onna weel: skweek, skweeek, skweeeeek…..
