Iz makin you orogammies
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Cheezburger Network Blog
i has a creeyativ
let me show you it.
next creeyashun: art maded frum recyculled furr.
N after taht, teh manee uses ob hakked-up hairballs.
Oh, Miss Manners beez frowning at mii! Conga rats sweepee! Hao bowt a snoball fite to sellybrate?
Fwiiiiiiinnnnngggg – SPLAT!
Can we fynd a use for teh outside layer of claws?
I am alwais finding teh shedded claw peeces awn teh floor.
so dats normal? ai wuz worried. deez be mai nawt secund kittehs ai ebber had, so ai didunt know if ai shud be alarmed.
das normal. dem mixes kwite well wib da shreds frum da cat tree…
but ai noes da “feer” wen sumfing unknown happens wib a kitteh… ai wus reely shokded wen ai fownd da toof frum mai bebeh kitteh. ai dint noe den dat dem awlso loos dems babytoofies… nao ai noes. das da fun wib da kittehs… u lurn so much wyle habbing dems… adn if ownleh, dat the wolrd rebolbes round da kittehs, nawt round da sun.
Yeh, normal….prolly jest means ur kittehs is borrying ur manicyoor set while ur asleeps. Chek dere pointy endz for nayl polish.
Leosmom, yu ar in fur lots of funs wit yer not-sekkund kitteh! Kittehs ar wunnerful pets. An ennytime sumtin happens dat yu ar not sure is normal, yu juss ask teh Cheezpeeps. Between awl of us, we can has CENTURIES of ketteh eksperience.
akshoe-all-lee, mai kittehs aren’t so liddel any mores. In fact, on Caturday, Sept 20, dey will hab dere forth birfday! (da vet guestimicated tha day cause Leo and Schatzie were abandonded by dere feral momcat when dey werent even weended yet. mai frend founded dem outside hur house one cold night in October and bringded dem in. And den found out hur hubby and son were allergic to cats. So ai adopteded dem from hur.)
So ebberyone is invited to da 4th birthday party for Leo and Schatzie on Caturday!! (catfish and kibble will be served, but ai need other menu suggestions, pweez)
hihi schatzie… das a sweet naem fur a kitteh ^^
mai daddy used to call me dat when ai was a bebbeh. it’s German for ‘little treasure’
I has sum sugjeschuns fur teh menu:
Albacore tuna
Birdies to chase
Cheezburgers
D…
Donuts
Extry cheezburgers
Fishie tacos
Graet big cheezburgers
Heaps of cheezburgers
Infinit cheezburgers
Juisee chunks of fishies
K…
Happee storie: fanks!
Dis hause habs 2 semi-ferals kittehs & vet geusstimaged June 2 yeeers ago as thier birfdayz. Did not hab partie for dem, tho.
Cud wee habs also chips 4 for “fishies and chipz”?
yoo sabes teh bits ob claws an teh falled-owt wiskers an teh big blobs ob shredded fur an yoo maeks yorself a NOO KITTEH!!
Conga ratz sweetpea! A dubble nawt sekkund. Hau wud u liek tew sillybrate? Ai needs tew go tew teh ty booteek. Wanna come wif meh?
Technically, your comment was also “not second”.
Techniquement, votre commentaire était aussi « pas deuxième ».
Teknisk var din kommentar også «ikke andre».
Non dal punto di vista tecnico, il suo commento era anche “secondo”.
Technisch war Ihre Bemerkung auch „nicht Sekunde“.
Grpuavpnyyl, lbhe pbzzrag jnf nyfb “abg frpbaq”.
Yay! Polly glot!!!!
Hai, hai!
Doch
Ya
Si
Oui
Ita
Yup
I din’t noe ennewun cud speek Ingerlish at ICHC!
Is fumigator stil on bacaishun? Semes laik wez needin herz.
yah, shure. to sillybrate mebee mek a liszt o all the creative thinks kittehs makes fur us:
art frum horked up furz
b…
Biscuit making onna belleh
Cyoot faces
Dots on windows frum wet noses
E…
Eat as much as u can noms!
Fat kitteh plush
Gigantic cheezburgerz
H…
Hairballs, of course!
Itteh bitteh kitteh committehs
Jumpin-games
K…
Kricket leg piles
Lizard body part piles
Mice bodies (sumtimez purrfurmice art)
N…
Nylon made kitteh capes
Orinj(nawt poysin) kitteh toys
Purrfect sketches
Q…
qwestionable piles of sumthing icky
red scratches on arms, legs, ankles, shoulders, ears,…
sweet, sweet chirps and purrs
t…
Teeth, baby onna floor (2, 2, qwooot)
Undercoat phurr puff balls
Valiant meow screams at intruder kittehs
W…
Watr puddlz nexta da sink
Xtry big fur motes on da hardwud florz
Yellow stainz on da rug when wez out late
Zoos of kitteh toy animalz
Leosmom, itz dose “chirps” an squeeks dat get mee evury tyme!!!
hoomin: yu prooved to me dat yu can do dat alredy, remember mah Lay-z-boy?
yay conga rats sweet pea!!!
conga rats sweetpea on ur nawt sekund!!
sillybrashuns??
heer’s ur liysinz!
congarats on ur creeyativic tawp spawt
(ai gess ai habs it wib da conga 2days)
*Ai doan hav tu pruv taht ai am criiaytiv!!!*
PURRformanss art — ai duz it
Wen i amz wurking, i ‘members “Y you buy esplosing toilet paper?” and maeks me laff & smile. Tanks 2 dat cheezpurson.
meenz et too cold
Nah. Is callded “TP”
TP is nawt strong enuff fur kitteh!
It’s fun. U can kleer up
bhut i eated them!!1!
i gtg eerly today, bye
oh ok, bye bye!!
meet ya tomorrow!!1!
There’s no bizness like it.
Silleh me. Here I thinked that u needed opposable thumbs to does orogammies.
OMCCWTFBBQ!!!!!
FLOOFY CALIKO!!!!! Oh mai!
**SSSPPPPLLLLOOORRRTTT**
Ai noo dat wuz gonna happin.
Oh, an – AI WANT DIS KITTEH!!!!
ai agwee rhsb – ai lurves de kalikos…ai haz 2, kan alwais maik ruum fer more!!
oh noes!!
*brings in teh CCC*
*scoopity scoopity teh brayns*
*duckie tape teh hed adn puts a CHRG(wdoi) on teh hed*
*gibs rhsb a cup of hawt choklitt and a blanky*
*Pulls up the ECC*
Oh, dear! Let me help you, Minion…
*Scoops up brains, put them back in place*
*Gets out an EHRG(wEDOI) and puts in on her head*
*Duck tapes it on*
There. Here’s a nice fluffy blanket, and some Hot Orange.
Feel better now?
whut does da BBQ at da end stand for?
Iz a refrins 2 a lol a few months bak. Dere wuz a BBQ inna sno dat had a snow smile.
4 sum reeson, sum ov us started puttin BBQ behind teh OMCCWTF.
WHEEEOOO WHEEOOOO WHEEEOOOO
CCC has arriven!
O mai, braynes awl ober teh playce.
*grabs fire hoes*
ai will warsh teh braynes adn pat tehm dry. Tehn ai will spray tehm wif mai speshul brayne rejoovenator.
*warsh warsh spray spray sweep sweepity scoop scoopity*
*pores teh braynes bak inna rhsb’s hed adn SNAPS awn teh CHRG*
BRIPPTTT *taype taypity taype*
*seleckst lubbly tri-colored 50s BC w/duckies awn it and SSTTRREEETTTCCCHHHEEESSS ober rhsb’s swollen hed adn fastens chinny strap tite*
*cubbers her wit sawfty blankie wif liddle lambs awn it*
ok hears a cuppa hawt chokklit wif marshymallows and sum wippy creme.
u rest naw!
Teh CCC iz faymaus!!1!!
Reel hedlyon inna Oregonian noospapurr yestidai:
“CCC opens site devoted to health studies”
Der prolly studdyin splort containmentz an kures!
wow cool!!
and today, on teh news paper, i saw an ad wiff teh lol which says “i can haz donkey hugz?” on it!!
i can see it naow, LOLcats go live!!
Wow, ai gots TRIPLOL halp!
Fanks Hashim, EM and Goosey!
Iz dose floofy calikoes dat get mi ebery tiem.
hehe… ur welcum rhsb!!
(maek sure to stay away frum teh ebilness, k?)
Don’t you know? Rhsb is the original Ebil Minion!
is she??
O.O
hmm… ok… i’ll just sit in that corner over there now…
Rhsb iz ebil?
Sai itz iznt sew!!
You tolded mai sekrit??
Rhsb nawt REELY be ebil….
sumtymes she (and others) jus fawl under te spell uv Ebil Maus.
(been there,done that)
oh ya, it happens sum tiemz
(been there,done that too)
Yesh, him can be kwite charming.
ai havent seen you recently, rhsb. howz it going?
she be havin problims at wurk, dey be crackin down on hur “non-wurk related intertube usaj” so she not gunna be on as much
so naow we die?
*hides in a box*
*sleeps in side box*
*insert THUD!!1!*
*zzzzzzzz*
taik dat u ebil TP!!
Yesh, iz gettin teh bunneh kiks ov deth.
I killed it, its safe fur Uz to use the baffroom now
i haz slain teh dragon!
Otay, dey sed “Nawt 2 b skwezin teh Charmin”. But, dey dint say “Nawt 2 b destroyin teh Charmin”!
yup, i nebber seed taht on teh teebee kommershul
Go wai Mr. Whipple, aiz NAWT skwezin itz, kay?
GMTA!
GMTA rhsb
2 tiez inna row, spooky!
wow…
O kiti, I finks u hazza konfoozd. Oragammyz is teh FOLDY ov paepr. u iz doin’ KEERAGAMMYZ, whish iz teh foldy and KUT ov paepr.
Iz eezy konfoozd to has, I knoez.
wat iz de rippy gougie, shreddy foldy ob paepr cawled?
A mess.
scherenschnitte is one form of paper cutting craft.
dat ar jurmin kittehz whut do dat. Dis kitteh kleerlee perfoarming aynchint Jappineez riptareshred ritchuil.
Enniewae, scherenschnitte sownz laik rilly bad werd whut u uze when ur kitnz is bein’ bad an’ u maekin’ dem goze to tyme-owt.
ooooo thanx kitteh sew much reely trooly I jest loooove yer artistry……. ummmmm butter I already haff qwite a phew organamys ahhhhhhh….. cud wii channel taht energie into sumthin knu tadaii……plzthnx
Ai kleend up a oragamy juts liek dis 1 las nite.
Hay ebreewun, mai frend sendz meh a kitteh prayer, itz soundz jus lyke sumthin mai girliez wul be thinkin:
Cat Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back.
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I’ll keep the secret Feline rule,
To NEVER tell a human that
The world is really ruled by CATS!!
Uh-oh. Teh seecrit is out. Everybuddy who readed this now needs to be debriefed.
Maus! Bring in teh double-wide debriefing cart, STAT!
O.O
RUN EBERYONE!!1!
*runs to China*
*WONNNNK! WONNNNK! WONNNNK! *
*Maus rides in on Petunia, who is pulling The DWDC*
I’m here! Line up in alphabetical order according to height!
*RummageRummageRummage*
Let’s see… Duck tape…
*QUACK!*
Sorry Mrs. Duck. I’ll give it back in a minute…
*RummageRummageRummage*
Peacock feathers… The Comfy Chair…
*RummageRummageRummage*
Salad tongs… Collander…
*RummageRummageRummage*
And the Debriefing Fluid…
OK! I’m ready!
Good show, old bean.
Attenshuns! We is now debriefing Letters A through M and heights 5′0″ through 5′11 3/8″. Those of u wif small chillrens or others needing speshul assistances can move to teh middle of teh line. Our Premeer Class Debriefees are welcome to be debriefed at any time.
Looks like AfriCat is first. First, you need to stand on this octopus.
Now close your eyes. This
is going to be excruciatingwon’t hurt a bit…*Gets out the rubber chainsaw*
Aaaaaiiiieeeee!!! *faints* THUD…
Well, Farklesnot! It’s against The Debriefers Canons to debrief an unconscious person. I’ll need to find
another victimsomeone else…That would be bluesfan473, I think.
*whispers* Ai iz glad noewun notissed me! Ai doan’t need debreefin enneewai.Kthxbai
*microfone feedbacks*
I can has ur attenshuns, plz? We is tickloled pink to announcify teh winner of our randomly-selected Move-To-Teh-Front-of-Teh-Debriefing-Line.
Step forward… ANNIPUSS!
Soooo much easier to
torturedebrief when they can’t resist…Looks like you’re next, DK…
*checks qwicklee*
Um, I’m not wearing any briefs, Maus.
*wakes up kwiklee* wazzat naow??
Oh, good! Your awake!
*Gets out the hedge trimmers*
Hold this rubber chicken… OK, now! Stay still!
Aargh…aargh…aargh… *weeklee* dat wus a durty trick!
OK. You’ve been debriefed
*Shouts*
Hey, LCB! What do you want me to do with these briefs!
I need a ruling! LCB, can I debrief a briefless person?
Of coarse u can! Check teh 3nd drawr on teh left in teh middle of teh bottom portion of teh top of teh cart. U’ll find a supply of extry briefs for just such an occasion. They’re disposable; no fair putting them back afterwards.
Unless, of coarse, u has purified them wif fire.
*Get’s out The Zippo*
*Get’s out a pair of briefs*
Thanks for the info, boss!
OK, DK! Put these briefs on…
*Picks up the Kitchenaid stand mixer*
Now hold this bowl of lard in your left hand…
*ahem*
DK is working hard on VIS* and must not be interrupted.
Sincerely,
DK’s boss
*Very Important Stuff
Hay, Maus! Looks like we have a special Extry-Stealthy Debriefing job! Ur first one, I bleev. Take this Cone of Silences, this Whispur-Lite ™ dental drill, and this washboard covered with cork. Remember to beez quiet.
Oh, and don’t forgit to debrief DK’s boss while u’r at it!
Yeah, right! DK, how about I debrief your boss. He’s probably not doing much right now…
GMTA, Boss! I’ll get right on it…
*Deploys Cone of Silences over DK*
*plink plunk tappity ow! tinkle stop! tick tick*
OK, DK is done! Now for her boss! And no Cone of Silences this time!
**Out-of-Office Reply**
I am out of the office for an extended period. If this is an urgent matter, please contact mmmmmbly mmmmmbly at extention 555.
DK
Me too,
DK’s boss
Eggsellent work, Maus! They doesn’t even beez teh aware that they has alredy been debriefed.
Hope it’s not chilly where they plan on hiding.
I can always lend them a Zippo…
*an airplane letter flies to Maus, it reads*
Dear Maus,
What is a Zippo?
.
Sincerley, Sairys
.
P.S. I gotz anti-debreifing pants on
Ah youth! Zippo is a brand of lighter. You’ve probably seen them: they’re rectangular and the top flips opens. They’re often chrome-plated. Think of the lighters you see in the old war movies and detective movies…
*A la Tim Curry*
Oh! What attractive undergarments you’re wearing!
nao wun cud rock a bustiere lyke Tim Curry
Word!
so, meez not gettin debreifed?
*whew*
On the contrary…
*Puts the Cone of Silences on sairys*
*tinkle pop hey! tappity tap no! scraaatttch tappity*
There! Hey LCB! Here’s a pair of regular briefs and some so-called anti-debriefing pants…
aww, dat wuz spoze 2 bee de ebil faice dere
Your dots were bumped up against your smiley.
While you’re here…
*Puts the Cone of Silences on bf473*
*tinkle pop ow! tappity tap oof! scraaatttch tappity*
There! That wasn’t so bad, was it?
AAAAHHHHHH!!!!
*grabs nearest fig leaf*
*runs back to hous holdin fig leaf*
Anti-Debreefing pants? Bwahahahahaha! I didn’t think anyone would be silly enuff to buy those anymoar! Esepecially after they was debunked on teh Elebenty Minutes show. Bwahahahahaha!
Why don’t u take those and run them up teh flagpole? I think everybuddy still in teh peeps still waiting in teh debriefing line would get a good laff outta that.
Sry to be repetitively repeating myself. I was laffing so hard at teh Anti-Debreefing pants I didn’t has control over my fingers.
I like the little duckies and bunnies on his pants. So cute!
*Pinches sairys little chhek*
Careful! Don’t leave any marks.
* scampers in…
.
O HAI EBBERYWON!
.
* lukks arownd…
.
* scampers out… quietly
GP!!!1!!
How tall is u? I think ur groop is up next for debriefing. Have a seat over here in teh waiting pen.
but but but… i has berry importent errr… poyntment
Oh, then step right up here to teh Express VIP* Lane.
*Very Imminently Pantsless
LCB, you need to take over the Cart. I have to head home.
It was fun, though!
I’ll do what I can. If we can’t get to everybuddy today, we can just leaves them in teh fridge overnight, yeah?
Yes. Don’t forget to wrap them in seaweed and newspaper…
Right. Make a note: next time there’s a Tupperware Party in teh NB, let’s see if we can get a good price on some Stor-A-DeBriefee containers, ‘k?
Uh,yeah…just let me know when you get to the E’s….
(rusawaireelyfast!)
*tip-toe* *tip-toe*
whispurrs: wats going on?
*Grabs sairys by the arm*
Right this way, my friend. We are going to debrief you…
Maus, how is teh supplies holding up?
I can make a run to teh Debrief Depot if need be.
Thanks LCB! I could use some:
Aardvark eggs
Buffing machine
Camembert cheese
Dongle Detergent
Eggplant-Flavored Debriefing Gel
Foreign-Shift Unicycle Chains
G…
…….Dongle Detergent????!!!!
U heard.
Gweat big springz
Hotpants Holders
Iceee Pokkit chillerz
Jumpin Jehosophatz
Knikker Nickers
L…
Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts
Hairy Gel
I…
Giggol repellent….
Heat-seeking briefs….
Immunity spray…
J…
80
….bottles of beer on the wall ???
Jelly, KY
Kracken soup
Long rope
Mealy worms
Nudibranches
O…
Jury-Rigged Jersey Ripper
Knife Duller
Leather Restraining Socks
Moistened Hunnert Dollar Towelettes
Nuclear-powered elastic-cutters
Origami Unfolders
Padded Debriefer Cushions
Q…
Quiver-Stopper Prongs
Rotisserie-Style Padlocks
Supersized Subwoofers
Time-release Untrankwilizers
Uvula Clips
Vry Sharp Objects
Wee Wrenches for Widdle Wuns
X-Ray Specs for DeBriefing the Modest
Yam Butter
Zest of Lemon for Extry Zing
aifinkso wee kno who is teh “Knicker Nickers”…
Dongle Detergent???
Leather Restraining Sox???
Uvula Clips????
OH MY!!1!!
oh noez, yoo gots me all four ways, furst name, middul name, last name, an hite!
nebber bin de-breefed before, i skared…
LOL!
Ohai ebbribuddy! Hao’s it going?
Just great, Mel! Step up the thread a bit and get in line behind DK…
OMCC. See wut happens wen yoo hasta leef!
*thundermous applaws frum floofy paws* Yay!!!! Luvs teh prayer BF!
Yiiipez, ai dint kno de kitteh prayer wud be cauzin de debrifinz (iz mush wurse dan de pantzin)
.
Bravelie offerz
for Hashim2 goe nawt seckondI think Hashim’s asleep. Why don’t you step up the thread a bit and get in line behind MelONyx…
nah, hashim’s just layin reel still unner teh floofy blankie an snorin on purpose
yesh, he’z jus fakin, heer dat faik snorin?zzzzzz
*uzez pointy endz 2 clim down de thred, awai frum debrefin masheen, bery quiklee*
Ah, I see…
*Hands BF473 a thick, rusty cable*
Hold onto this while you’re climbing, OK? Thanks!
dis kitteh is verry pritty
nawt origami but uddre Japaneez kustom: dis TP wuz disgrayssed, now endooring hairy-kiri.
tp kannot hairy-kairy itself, not habbin poynty ends (poynty endz on tp iz not gud idea) so needs kitteh to do it for him
yesh, is hairy-kariy by proxy (pawxy?)
kitteh is doin a public serviss
kitteh iz makin konfetti for teh burfday fairy to wish a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to ebreewun hoo haz tehms burfdays today! inkluding but not limited to DavecanhasDrTinycat! if iz also yor burfday an yoo iz not DchDT, speek up an let us kno!!
i haz bringed many burfday caeks in yor favrit flavrs ob choklit, eben not-choklit choklit, frooty punch, shiny party hats wif pompoms on tehm, an goodie bags wif yoyos, kandees, erasers shaped liek zoo aminols, an sparkly kitteh stickers!! sinse my konfetti-maker not wurking right lately (not wants to put teh spayses in teh way i lieks tehm) i gibs yoo lubs and smilies instead!
♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥ ☺♥♥ ☺ ♥ ☺☺ ♥
Wot?! Todai is teh burfdai ob DaveCanHasDrTinyCat?! Hoonu?! We need to russell up a parteh, pronto! We needs:
Ambi unce
Burdai caek
Choklit caek
D…
Drinks
Eggsiting Gifts
Frenz,Cheez
G..
Stoopee WeirdPress
Debreefing cartDebilled eggsExtra partee hats fur unexpected guests
Fancee tablecloth
G…
gorgeous dancing girls
handymen for putting ebbryting togeddar
italian food
j………
o_o
i liek italian food…
LAWL
AMAZING!!
hooray for caek!!
lol
Ooh. Catnip withdrawal. I know the signs. I’ve lost a damned good sofa to it.
Err, cawlin SweetPea, LCB an odder peeps-hoo-kno; R we reddy to go “lyv” wiv teh Flowrs4Janet deraynjmunt? Enkwyrin mynds wont to kno!
Debreefing cartDebilled eggsExtra partee hats fur unexpected guests
Fancee tablecloth
G…
Gushifud
Happee birfdai hatties
Icy creem ob manee flabors
Juice boxies
K….
Krunchifud
Lunch meats
Mam burgers (cheezburgers mawm makes – yum)
Nutricious snaks
O…
Olive pitts
Pohtatoeh chypps
Qwince
Ruhtabaga sammiches
S……..
Kitteh haz taked an arts & krafts klass foar pets;
Hers dint liek beedyng oar skrap-buukiyng; cuudn’t lern tuu knit;
haytid paw-paiynting;
noe sense iyn tryeing wuud-wurking oar kandy molding wifaowt posabul fumbs;
Toylet papure re-assehmblyng wuz teh oanliest course leftid;
(adn kitteh wuz a natuchural: tuuk tuu iyt liek a duk tuu watture-gottid hi maurks!!)
My dad and I are trying to dezin a catpurroof toilet papurr holder. Nawt that we want to spoyl Sheba’s fun, but TP works so much betur when iz nawt snow.
o dear. wat is rong with paper krane?
Doodz I luff teh oragammies. I gotz teh learns that ones.
Our one cat does that. LOL
oooohhhh yez u r!
….wen u leest expekt itz……expekt itz!