Cat burglar
Cat burglar Haz yur wallet
picture: c_gecko. lol caption:
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
LCB minion in trayning
Lukks liek a lot uv GMTA!
GMTA, iz taht “Gibs Me Taht!” Attitud?
it means grate minds think alike, Fantima’s subject.
Oyez, I gnu dat, aifinkso. Dis is beuitmus kitteh. LCBs alleez usez kyootness to exkape punishmints.
*snerk* in dat cais eet wud be so… ai fink
DK! U got teh top spot, and a grate commint 2.. well dun!
Wut u feel like habbin to drink?
Fanks Leeza! Aifinkso a hawt chonklitt wif wippy creem, adn a trip to teh Ty Boo Teek fur a tiara!
Let’s Hokey Pokey awn ober dere. (“You put your right paw in….”)
what, no martoonie today?
Okays… hot choklit coming up! wif whippy creem and u can has kalua or chambored if u wants innit!
Hay.. don’t we alreddy have tiaras now, as offishul prinsesses?
Mmm, sum kalua, yas plzkthx!
Ai nebber did get mai tiara, so ai go choose wun nao!
ok!
*put left paw in*
“With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is
worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went
unnoticed at the end of May. Larry La Prise, the man who wrote “The Hokey
Pokey”, died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family
was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. Then the trouble
started…”
*heddesk*
*snerk* *gigglol* *snerk*
…
Halp! Kint …. breev …. laffin …. too …. hard … (ooh, dots!!!)
Maus! Do sumfing!
*Comes up behind Nightshayde and does the Heinielick Maneuver*
There! Better now?
Heinie-lick maneuber? No want!
8-0
Have I gotz korreck infurmashun? Hiney-lick maneuver =
1. Cat sits in room full of people
2. Cat waits till s/he is senter of attenshun
3. Cat licks hiney
4. Cat walks away looking pleased wif self.
Um … wut shud ai tell mah huzbin?
Um – to learn teh Heinielick Maneuber?
LOL!! Fanks furr deh laf!!! :0
how did yu get teh DK nikname when yur name no hav DK?
Waol, wun dai ai wuz feeling kinda inbizibel, adn teh Dawn Key sedded taht ai wuz liek a jewel taht peeps oberlook, maybe a dyemund.
So teh cheezpeeps started calling mi Dyemund Kitteh, oar DK. 
Teh end.
LOLZ TEH KITTEH CAUGHT IN TEH ACT
A readable version. Sorry about the total lack of formatting.
.
“With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed at the end of May. Larry La Prise, the man who wrote “The Hokey Pokey”, died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. Then the trouble started…”
where can we send flours?
ignoar teh italics.
igor did whut to the italians?
dont ax.
But… but… seh alreddee did!!!
Inkwiring minds want to noe!
Maybe he did the Heinielick Maneuver too…
but taht wud be abby normal….
@@@@@!!! huff huff sooo laffin, but DONUT do teh Heinilick Manoover! DO NOT WANT!!1! Woods mak mi laf moor toomuch! Iz ebil-funni.
Ohai, wur yu resebed intu Kort? If nawt, den we shud duing dat pritty sune. We wil be duing fur Lady Annabellelee aftur Dame Janet cumz bak tu us. so maibe we kin has a beeegg partee.
So THAT’S what she looks like…
oooo, nice catsoot, LCB
*snerk*
Yeah… nice…
She’s kwite byootimus!
Pay no attention to the little cat in the back, sneaking off with some snacks… Nothing to see here… Move along… Move along…
Yes,sir,Officer Maus….
moving along…
**sneaks behind Officer Maus’s back,steels some of the snacks**
*munchmunchmunch*
Hay! I has some gray hairs, strooth, but not that manys!
I thot U wuz the strippeh kitteh
helping herselfz to the treetses
Drop it,LCB!
…other kitteh iz liek,hmmmm…
she eeted awl teh catnip frum dis bag,and needs to steel sum monies to get moar!
(jus say no,kitteh!)
u had sumthin shinee in it…
Ai wunder hoo dat iz!
why It IS *very theatrick muzack* LOL’s very own and
clearly VERY framemouse L. C. B. !!1!
Lcb wut yuu doing heer?
Iysn’t iyt wunnerfull tuu bees soe faymuus taht yuu’re reckognized iynstentlee!!!
wonda wear she is? could she be too blushing to appear from the ether?
Preening, moar likely!
Oar takin ebbreewunz stuff wile we iz awl distrakted by dis lol.
she was qwite int-arrested inna leeza’s house keys
LCB? Is taht yu?!
LCB..caught in the act!
adn will nawt gibs eet back
at leest nawt befur he boughted cheezburgers… menneh… elebenty!
She had to taek it owtsied to see wut it lukz liek in teh lite.
Dat’s a mighty guilteeeee lookin kitteh.
whut wallet?
She … um … finded it & iz gonna giv it bak, aifinkso.
u left it heer.. iz mine
ai reeleh wonner whut happend in deres… der’s a knife onna floor adn on da ottur side a kitteh is eetin sumfing… adn dere beez eerfons… adn iffn u luks bery closely at da right tawp… der’s a shu… mebbeh frum da former wallit onur?
Ai dun no…luks liek mai partment affer kittehs haf der mornin/affernune/evnin/midnite run arowd da plase.
Yesh…after teh Mysterious Midnite Runarownds dere can be much mayhem and deestrucshun.
Of course dese days, i onlee come home after 1 a.m. in teh mornin, soe i iz usuamaly rite in teh muddle ov teh Mysterious Midnite Runarownds. teh route sumtymes goez ovur my shouldurs an hed! owchee! pointee endz!!!
Wii calls it “teh rips”. Maybe becuz wunce tehy has finished leeping on/over yoo wif teh pointee endz owt, yoo bes full of rips…
Mai kittehs do tihs sumtimes when ai’m in bed.
Oar “chasin kitteh deemunz.”
see… u getz so useded 2 eet, taht u ebben fynd names fur eet… adn ur cowurkers will get useded 2 sees u totumally rippded 2s… trus meh… dem nawt beez aksin me n-e-moar… dems jus be saing ‘oh kittehs agyn?’ adn keep own wib der wurk. all normal.
ai calls it Kitteh Nascar.
We calls it “Races and Chases” becuz one kitteh tags teh otter and den dey’re off.
Awl over teh howse, eben up an down teh stairs.
Ai noes! 1 tiem Ai came hoem to fine a char n a lamp nokked ober n it lukkd liek da plse wuz bergld. So Ai lukked 4 da kitteh (Ai onli had 1 den) n shi waz in da bathtub wif a stiky maus trap stuk 2 her. Da lanlord putted dem awt n awl da apartmints 2 trap da mausies wifot hertin peeple’s goggies n kittehs. Cleo got 1 frum undr a radie ater n got it stuks 2 her, den ran rownd n rownd 2 get it offa her.
Bfor Ai had a kitteh, Ai wood’ve caleled 911 furst.
*lulz* yesh… fings change wen u get kittehs… adn u wont eben wanna fink ob libbing wibout dems n-e-moars… eben do dem dus so menneh fings… laik…
armageddoning ur Hous
bwinging Chaos in ur libe
chanshing ur sleeping cycles
…
Oh,teh dangerous bedtime chase…..
3 of the kittehs will be awn teh bed wif me,and the 4th will jump up and scare teh other ones into makin a mad dash across teh bed.
Awl u can do is pray no one runs ober yer hed !!!
ryt… dis mayt beez a good ’splanashun *nods* or mebbeh dem bees da csi kittehs adn jus be inbestigating da crym sene?
THIS is orbitlamousely whut happens wren yoo go tew Florida and leave yer kittehs with a cat-sitta fur a phew daze
us speekin frum xperiens? were did u hyd da bodeh?
O hai. um, er, look! I foundz yer wallet thingy! Iz it fud timez now?
siobhan sownds like teh CSI-kitteh, she can has eye fur detail, no?
is jus b-cuz ai cleended mai flat 2days adn wunnerd bowt sum findns… but did nawt fynd bodeh.
kitteh csi process criem szene
a nupdaet on fleurs fr Janet answers to FAQz:
*I think we can directly give credit card info to florist- I will post the tel Nomber when the plans r finalized. We can has ginormuss fragrance mmmmm wif peeps donating $5-10 dollars
*we will work on getting everybody’s name on a card to go with the flowers;,
* LCB is setting up a paypal place for donations for teh MS charity
*consensus seems to be to send the fleurs next week. fashionablee laet, we hazit!
*clikky on my name for brief instrucshuns, leave a message to get my email address.
*suggestions and and advice are welcome.
*complaints go to Ebil Maus
*subject to chanj wifoutnotice, void where prohibited; arbitration in any settlement will take place using Napoleanik Kode. kthnx
fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
thunkthunkthunk
is dis fing on?
oh, ok. *speeking over intercom
* if there is an over a bun dance 0 munneez gibbon to da fleurist {based on peeps giving $5-10}, it haz bin sujjested to divvy it up into two fleur flurreez sent a weak apart, i.e. our b’loved Janet can has fleurz to cheer her up next week, adn teh week after.. input is welcome.
that is all.
yesh, yesh, yesh………… two ‘rangemints wud be mos eggsalad!! wut did fleurist cum up wif tew go wif teh silk peewees, ai meena sweepees!
i am aimink foar fragrant: stargazer lillies, roses, she suggested stock- is dat good n smelly? i wunders if we could get sum freesia?
Stox smell byotimuss! An freesha R mai fayvrit – toptip tho, donut get teh fressia flowrs confoosed wiv teh freesia cows – can get a bit messy and nawt smell so great, akchully!
snerk- too diffrunt smellies, entireleeee!
stock is good n smelly….freesias good tew…
afink ah agreedz wif nightshayde to donate overages to teh charitee….awlsew mai tew cenzez worf…………howsomeber ah ageeeeeeeeer wif whut eberboddee eslse wunts…….
Friscokitteh!!!1! *gallups up adn gibs FK HYOOJ hedbonk*
Oh, sowry, didn’t meen to nok yoo ober. *Halps FK up*
Hao bes yoo adn ur liddel reskewed kitteh?
Pls 2 chek fleurs iz OK fur kittehs. Sum lylys iz poyzin. Ai noes cheezpeeps iz alwyz karefil adn kynd two kittehs.
Lait in sezun fur freeziaz aifinkso but maibe can getz. stock smelz gud tu. Freeziaz ar da win.
Aifink dat ennee ex-ess shud go to teh charitee ravver dan fur moar fleurz. Teh fleurz iz definitely lubberlee, but doan rillee last awl dat lawng. Mebbe munneez given to teh charitee wud halp to maek sum lawng-term changes/improvements fur sumwun.
…
Jus mah .02 ennyway.
yah, i agree dat we shunt go oberbored. i just wannit a contingensee plan for wot may be a noverage.
thnx
hmmmmm jus wundrin how yew kin figger wen to stop callin teh fleurist…. beddar minds dan mine will has tew figger dat out
wheel figger it owt. sooner oar later. hopefulleez sooner.
now dat i gotz a werkin budjt frum teh peeps massages & emayo
i haz enuf info to get bak to da fleurist, set up a date foar
deliberee next week & such. i think i can start posting the info for charging tomorrows AM let peeps start contributing and finalize things. is a lot like herding kittehs, eh?
yesh it is!! ooh shiney, wut wuz ai doin?? oh callin teh fleurist……..
iffn lcb is settin up a paypal account… y nawt use it fur both? da flowers adn da funds? den u habs awl da shynie… erm… monneh 2geddur adn can choose how much fur da flowers adn how much fur da rest?
reellee gud idea
letz me see, if ai haz this right.
LCB setz up a paypal akount
otter kittehs sendz a money to the paypal akount
to LCB’s paypal account ??
peeple, how cud we be so crooool???
we wud be depriving LCB of all the fun of burglararay. no sneeking in the darkness. no tinkle of broken glass in the middle of the night. no tippytoe along the ledge on the elebentyth story … oh, there wuzn’t any of that anyway.
all she has to do is sit at her compyooter and download the monies? how boring.
*snerk*
hehe… das y we jus sedn e-monies… nawt shynie fings ^^
TTFN- real life interveenz in the foarm o werk…
dink dink dink dink dink dink – ouch!!
sumbody dint pwaktiss dis weak…
“do you noes why I pulled you over mam?”
“Please to take the license owt of the wallet mam”
“Thass rite, you were doing krunchi in a gushi fud zone”
“Well it’s eever cheezburgrs now or take it up wiff the judge”
Ai wud be happitayl to remoov teh license owtta teh wallit, but ai haz a seveer lak uv opposubul fumz. A liddul halp, plz?
“Hmmmmm…so,Ms.Kat Burglar..
is this your current address ??”
iz alsew needz pruf ob insurince!!
Um … gimme sum tiem. Aiz shoor ai kin snag … er … find sum uv dat.
heh!
I not burgulur, dis mah wallet.
U get Ur own
ai iz keepin it saef foar u! on-esst!
In deez tuf eekunawmik tiemz, teh kittehz must do wutebber dey kin to surbibe.
O hai, ai go shopping now, whadayoo want mii 2 byes 4 yoos?
1. An-choveez,….
Bleenies
Cat treets
Dog repellent
…
Evverfing ah wants
Furver stuffs
Gushie fuds
Harbal medicin’s
I . . .
Ice kreem
Jolly toys
Kibble
L…
Lolrus bukkit 2 hides frum hims
Munnies 2 buys moar stuffs
Nuffin 4 nobodies else
O . . .
Luks laik a daynjuruss cat gang. Tehyv stoalun mai hart, thatz fur shur.
Ur wallet. Iz mines naow.
O Hai, I nowz nuffing ’bout the dood at the front door wit da toona and shrimps pizza.
Did sumwun say shrimp pizza!??!!!!!
Ohai, LastoftheBohicans! Longtime no-see! Gud to see yoo heer agin!
Omiceelingcat! D: Dis kitteh luks liek my naybur’s kitteh Arie… He’s livin’ dubble lives!
I’m gunna go maek him come cleen wit his mum nao. D:< We’ll set teh thievin’, cheatin’ beastie strait… eithur that or we’ll b mauled by furry wrath…
Metinks teh kitteh stolez dat frum me! I has same wallitz!
Um, purrhabz that wuld be – past tense! – yoo HAD teh same wallitz!
No iz not gibing any more of mah munnies
to save Lolstreet bankses
kthx
still no LCB on this fred? LCB’s eeers mus be byrning!
*** cups mouf and calls off in the distance… Yoooooo Hoooooooo! Olly Olly Oxenfreezers!!! ***
***crickets……***
I is here! Teh burgers must’ve knowed that I had a appertnment this afternoon wif Dr. GYNyCat and so I wouldn’t be able to reply rite away.
*wonders how they knowed and if I just shared 2 much*
YAY!!! I fout mebbeh teh cat got yore tung an LCB was speashliss or mebbeh caught redpawed by this Lol.
tmi tmi tmi.
(insert ur pussycat joke here__________________)
howz yer grrlparrts? gud i hoaps …
yer minyuns seem to hav been cought on camera above – film at elebenty
Dr. GYNyCat sed I is “a rose.” I dunno if he means that I is all red and pointy-ended or that I smells purty. Bonus: my blud presshure was vry good.
ai dunno iffn dat is werse or teh mouf doctor……….. bout teh same ai gess, jus differnt ends!!
they nose evrythin parrotlee… Dr GYNyCat and nawt TMI fur this thread sinse tear were the Heinielick Maneuvers -sea aboff
Dat iz berry clebber LOLibi, LCB… “and wen teh cri’mez diskobbered, LCB waznt the4r!”
Ohai bobcatt, ar yu me? Ai clik yur blooness nd goze tu mai profile paje. Wut’z going awn?
Werdpretzil is doing silly tings to me, ladymonde. I gotta abatar and now no bluename. But still hav bluename some other places (wit no abatar) but the linky wrks there OK. So I will sine in and out and see what happens. Not tryne to steel yore identi tea!
U no can has mah hard earned munnies
to bail out the lolstreet banks
kthx
Steragely enuff dat luks a lot liik my wallet….
LCB adn accon…acal…. parner in dah..uh libin rum? wib teh plastic niif
*LCB adn parner sneeks a wai wif wallet an fuds* noone wil eber know it wuz dem!
“Oh hai! mah kitteh frien habs eated awl da cheeziechips an we are needs 2 bai mors brb”
*burp*
how do i add to favorites?
iffn u nawt uses an applol computer u may jus click onna “add 2 faborites” button. iffn u uses an applol computer um myt need 2 aks sumbunny iffn dem habs eet in dems faberites… frum dere u shuds be ablol 2 faberite eet.
OMG!! Those are my kitties and that’s my dirty house. Abigail is her name and the big boy in back is Simon.
but
iswas that your wallet?Ohai, Kate! Yoo haz luvlee kittehs. Teh larceny runs strong in them, LOL!
nothing is showing up that says anything about favorites…
How U kan tell wich wallet B-longz to Samuel L. Jackson?
YR MUNNY
I HAS IT
While companion ninja cat steals your crisps
o hai, iz takin ur monies to pay teh peetsa guy
udder cat burgler in pictshure has cheezy poofs. no is as gud as cheezburger, but wil hafta do fur nao.
…and his friend’s eating all the cheezy poofs!
That’s a 1998 Lara Croft Tomb Raider wallet. I haz the exakt same 1!!!!! Geekage ^5!!! =D!!!
My Bootsie is an exact double to cat burglar!