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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
I can haz furst??
It iz thort moar purrlite to say “Nawt Sekund” oar “Furthest frum last” an iz best iffn u can sai sumfinclebber `bowt teh pikchoor. But iffn dis iz teh nawt sekund tiem u haz been FFL, we unnerstan dat it iz eggsitin an hard 2 rezist!
Nao, iz furst tyme at nawt sekkund! Wuz so happyan excyeted!
Ez Annipuss sez:
iz teh nawt sekund tiem U iz nawt sekund
Gud morning Cali-fur-nia Dave!
Yoo nawt awnlee can haz, yoo DOO!! An wee awl know hao egg sighting yur furst “nawt sekund” can bee. Much moar tahn enewun hoo hazn’t dun it wud ebber think.
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Yoo see “no commint,” an yur brayne goes “OMCC, OMCC, must think ov sumthing kwicklee.” But tath iz wai, heer eneway, we trai reelee hard nawt to say “furst” in taht space – becuz it iz too eeezzee.
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But yoo, ai see, ar kwite noo, an purrrhaps ar nawt so familiar wif a liddle customs.
Yoo ar sposed to trai to say sumthing relayted to teh pikshoor – AND funneh. Nawt at awl eezee! an taht iz wai ai hardlee EBER do it. Becuz a AWLWAYZ get teh dredded “brayne freeze.”
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An that iz wai we started doing teh celebrayshuns fur teh fauloloso peepl hoo CUD do it. But yur commint wuz kwite gud, akshullee! An ai hope, nao yoo ar heer, yoo will stay wif us!
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Altho we dont reelee hav ene rools, we DO hav menee customs. But teh longer yoo ar heer, teh moar yoo will lern! An dont be afrayd to ask. Ebreewun heer is verree frendlee, and will be glad to help in eneway they can.
i remember teh furst tiem i haded a nawt sekund, i didnt know wat peepz were talkin about when dey said conga rats, ur furst nawt sekund!!
heres da linky to it!!
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2008/07/12/funny-pictures-some-bad-newz/#comments
u want danc an sillbrationzes?
Yes pleez!
Oh hai, Cali-fur-nia Dave. Maybee next taim it will happen. Ai think it iz cleer taht ai need to say sumthing about teh celebrayshuns.
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Ebreewun. . .ai dont know wai – iz nao doing it rong. We ar nawt sposed to ask teh purrson if they want sumthing – oar eben WAHT they want. It puts tehm awn teh spot – an offen tehy ar nawb eben still heer.
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What iz SPOSED to happen iz – we just celebrayte teh purrson – and invite ebreewun to joyn in. Moast offen, it iz nawt possibul fur teh “nawt second” purrson to suggest a dans – becuz they ar nawt dancers. WE ar sposed to selekt sumthing sootable an dans FOR tehm! An we ar sposed to bring teh refreshmints for ebreewun.
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Ai wuz heizitant to speek – but what iz going awn nao – an teh chanj wuz gradual – iz reelee nawt werking. Teh celebrayshuns offen fall verree flat, becuz teh purrson says “ai dont want to dans!!!” LOL!!! An that’s OK – but just shows that it iz now – just nawt rite.
Ohai JCH4K. Fanks u sew berry muchlee 4 this in4mashun. Iz quiet diffeecult az a new cheezpeep 2 bee unnerstaneeing teh cultshur in teh Cheezland. I no taht cweenmj haz lottsa hlepful hintz awn her sight, butt ai could nawt find anyfing awn teh ‘roolz’ liek nawt uzing teh f werd adn hao 2 start teh sillybrations. Maibe sumwon cood ad a linkee or sumfin awn thier page 2 helpz teh new peeps figure owt teh ‘roolz’. Iz berry hard 2 unnerstand tehm wehn UR new. Ai apreeshi8 awl UR help 2 help peeps liek me fit in.
Ai haz nawt sekund fur nawt-second tyme…an Ai skrewz it up.
(
Ai goes an sitz kwyetlee en kornr nao…
dun worry!
it WAZ ur nawt sekund nawt sekund after all!!
its all right, u didnt know about our traditions but naow dat u know, u can maek
a clever nawt sekund commint!! da new lol will come at 4, ICHC tiem, its 3:15 right naow…
Whew, hoep yoo appresheate mai hard wurk.
A kittehs wurk is nebber dun, unless its tiem fur a nap, uv corss.
Oar fud!
Goze wifowt sayin!
Dat’s part of kittehs wurk, nawt part of kittehs “down tiem.”
oh ya!
awlso in kitteh wurk:
giving teh burd/mowse/hamstur a hart attak
ruining skreen dors n windos by clinging onto them
spilling milk n taking 2 liks and leev
disupeering when needed 4 vet or nail clipping
*drip drip drip drip drip*
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Ohai, jenna! ai’ve just com frum yur pool! Ai furgot mai towel!!!!
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Taht’s a reelee nice pool yoo hav there! Ai dont hav wun at hoam, so its awlwaiz nice to visit peepl hoo do!
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An hai ebreewun else! If enewun wants to taek a kiwk dip, teh water’s reelee nice ! Teh pool partee iz awn teh . . .uh oh. Hao far did ai com???? Bak sum where yesterday. Ai just had a reellee nice morning swim. MOAST refreshing!
*rubz iis adn streetches*
*yawnz*
ohai JCH4K adn Jenna! I jus woek up frum mai sleepz adh dreemz ov teh YNNSBz ober at teh pool partee an teh fred ’bout teh seel.
ai agreez wif JCH4K – iz veri niec pool speshully wif teh YNNSBz breening teh drinksies. veri refresheeng on teh hawt dai.
o, nappin be down tiem. ai thot it wuz partz ub kittehz werk
y’knoe, keepin teh moast komfable armcherz warmz, gibbin teh sunbeemz a grater porpoise, maekin hyoominz splort wif dey sleepeh-cyoot, stuffs liek dat
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Yes!
A kitteh’s werk iz NEBBER dun! Poor babbehz!
Sumwun wunc asked mai niece Dana what hur cats were gud foar – an she said “They give me pleasure! Taht iz their job, an tehy doo it VERREE well!”
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Kittehs – awn teh job 24/7!!
yep, they give pleasure, lower our blood pressure (literaly…there was a study), provide relaxiation, keep us mentaly active, provide companionship-and comfort (isn’t it odd how they seem to know when we need it the most?), and historically they’ve helped to keep our houses, farms, and businessesessses vermin free.
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no real wonder that kittehs were worshiped as representatives of Bastet, now is it. the only issue about that is kittehs have never forgetten being worshiped as a deity.
An dey doan’t let us ferget it 2!
And he did the work well!
u likz mai decoratin styli?
momcat
ohai, momcat, i bin finkng bowt yoo an yor fambly. hows fings? i still sayin teh prayrs taht fings will wurk owt an ways will open up for yoo to get teh jobs an munnies an evreefing sorted owt. {{{{{momcat an fambly}}}}}
Naow it’s ur job 2 cleer up
I lefteded u ’nuff paper ta due it!
momcat
i can haz sekund?
YaYz!1
el diablo haz left himz mark
ven de devil has passd ovr yu yu shal kno him bai his mark: shrded pappr producs.
Mai liddle blak debil kitteh Fiona wunce choood awl teh tabs off ov a box ov fyeols ai left aut! Awl ov tehm!!!
iz teh noo myoozik groop “…an yoo wil kno us by teh trayl ob teh ded papr twols”
It’s the maid’s night off, said Tom helplessly.
Izz gud.
/lolspeak/ Small animals here must not be cats: don’t wake up human for food, don’t claw up rolls of paper, don’t scratch at vet’s — and one of 2 plays nicely wif goggie.
Do climb screens, keep chaiars warm, do catches mousies. Do lic dum plateses, do drink milk or watter out of human’s cup….
leaves as sees speeh slipping back to LOL spreak.
Iz really teh seleepy fingers.
Teh tollet is backed up, said Tom, looking flushed.
heddesk…
massacre, i does it
arts n krafts for teh hoomin
well ai’m wif teh allises resturent anti-massacre movment, an yu mus go to teh groop dubblyu bensh.
“Paper shredders! Paper shredders sitting right there on teh bench next to me!”
srsly, teh tee pee attakkd furst!
LOL!!
eet wuz lukin’ at meh funneh
U knoes wen u jus has… one of *doze* days in de bafroom?
(blinkblink)
Say no moar.
ohai evry1, ai got mai bebbeh kitteh naw!!!!
hooway, ai put sum picshurs of it on meh profile!
We can has sillybrashuns?
o mai! yu shud hab putted a splort warnin in yur poast! ai r neerly ded! lukkily ai haded a chokklit possim riet heer in mah pokkitz tu kowntar teh cyoot an rebibe teh n r g.
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dat wun cyoot kitteh, cuuldude! dat liddl floofeh bakk, doze beeg innersint eyez. kongrat chew layshuns awn noo kitteh. wut himz naems?
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wud yu liekz tu shaer sum hot chokklit tu sellybrayt?
Yes, we sellebrate wif yew! Con-cat-ulations, and sleepy bebbeh kitteh eye schmoos tew yew!
Skweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Poppeh gonna be the boss ov yoo Ifinkso
She beeyootimuss.
ur kitteh under chair picshur soooooo sweeeeet.
have supergreat kitteh tiem!
i sellybreat wif u
Ohai cuuldude!!
i saw ur kitteh!! it waz so kyoot!!
and naow, may i honour u wiff da title, cat slave, as now, u are one uf us!!
Poppeh iz gonna maek yoo teh cuulest dude EBBER! SUCH a cyoot babee! Yoo ar in fur sum reelee interesting taims, ai think! LOL!!!
Aaaawwwww! Dat’s wun cyooot babbeh!
Poppeh is teh cyootest bebbeh kitteh!!!
cuuldude!!1!! Cyootest kitteh eber! Gud ting Ai haz mai CHRG awn, cuz Poppeh is splortalishess!
Sqweeeeeee ohh soooo sweetie babi kitteh
I has happee!
awwww wat a kayuute lil kitteh! Iz dat himz teddie bare in de middle pixure? Himz tranin u gud, byin de toyz alreddie
ohai cuuldude. teh new kitteh is veri cyooooooot. Gud fing ai red teh odder commints furst adn put awn mai CHRG wif doi odderwise ai wooda splorted wehn i c ur babee tiger kitteh. I haz a happee wif u 4 ur new kitteh.
Bebbeh kittehs doan cum muches kyuooter tahn taht: Congradumalashuns awn teh neu xtreemeely splortashus kitteh!!!!!!♥♥♥♥♥♥
ooh, i luvs teh baby tabbies! yay for yoo for hazzing new kitteh, heer iz choklit caek for yoo an tuna caek for the kitteh!!
fanx evry1 for supportin me an poppeh!
A job iz nebber ohver until teh paypurr wuk iz dun.
Elebenty burgers to yoo, Tribble! LOL an still moar LOLS!!!
But wait, kitteh! Did u rember to do teh paperwork in triplickate?
‘S un i lefted der uver copeez in yur baffrum in yur offize nd u mite wanna cheks out yur chexs buuk, ober der and over der and ober der….
Ai Feng Shui’ld teh playce….ur welcum.
Mah werk is dun. Hav fun cleenin up!
aie iz yure neu interiorz dekoratore, mini mum lizum iz soooo yesterdai
Meh werk here is dun . . . UR Veree Welcomz.
Et wuz da lezt aih culd do fur U.
Hewminz shoodz nawt leev
Lawwwng Sawfft Stuffz unnattenddud.
Bad feengz canz happenz
Lawwwng Sawfft Stuff besstest
scratcheeng poast ebber! Canz taykz
awll kyndz ubz abewss
Clawz canz diggz in deep.
Unwyndz andz maykz a lushuss
mess…. T3h purrfekkt toy!
Kitteh haz habz himz
phunn! Coodz eethurr taykz a Napz
oarz blaymz t3h Doggeh!
Jack.
kitteh did nawt startz de fite….butt kitteh finished itz
INT DAY: A BATHROOM.
Our two main characters, KITTEH and TOILEET PAPEH, are engaged in a staring contest.
KITTEH: ha! u’z blink’d!
TOILEET PAPEH: did nawt.
KITTEH: deed 2! deed 2!
TOILEET PAPEH: i can nawt haz eyes, how can i haz blink?
KITTEH: stop teh argurin!
KITTEH bats at TOILEET PAPEH. Against all laws of kitteh physics, the TOILEET PAPEH seems to grow larger.
KITTEH: y’z u gettin biggah when i swipez at u?
TOILEET PAPEH: u can never defeats meh!
KITTEH bats at TOILEET PAPEH some more. It grows longer and longer, larger and larger, until KITTEH has made a BIG MESS.
KITTEH: hooman that runs da howse will nawt beh happeh with TOILEET PAPEH dat growz! i musts defeetz it.
KITTEH defeats the TOILEET PAPEH in a gruesome victory.
TOILEET PAPEH: oh noes! i can haz truce?!
KITTEH: okayz. kthxbai.
TeePee reely shud no bedder dan 2 challenje supeereeor creture wif de sharpy-pointy endz, iz lozin battel
dis good!
is shaekspeer or tabbykatt urijinl?
ps – wach owt fer toileet payper – nown to be trechyrus
Kitteh Iynteerior Dekorayter haz kumpleetid hers laytist remauduuling jawb:
Teh Baffruum Remaike;
Teh preevailyng kolour wuz, ov coarse, wite; kitteh wuz awlsoe kairefull tuu iynklude vareeouus papureey oavertoanes, keapyng iyn minde at awl tiems, teh floofy bloo karpit (kitteh dyd nawt wunt enneey huues tuu klash;
taht her wuntid ebbereefing purrfektlee koardeenaytid goez wifaowt saiying);
Weez fink her haz akkohmplished a truuly grate Redux;
adn weez luukes foarwurd tuu seeying pikshures ov tihs fahbuluus ruum iyn teh nexxt isshue ov “Kitteh Beeuteefull: Wunnerfull Iynteeriors Yuu Kan Duu Yuurseylfe”.
Dat pitcher is looks like mah Emlee kitteh. Hers berry bad wif papers. Leiks to eat mor den corms.
lok meh in teh bafrum agin an see wut I duz wit deh showah kurtinz, hehehe evil *meow and kitteh winx
finks 4 duin teh wurk. u get a free cheezburgr