Its reely dark outside
Incorrect source or offensive?
« Previous “kitteh” iz so word. | I notised yous forgot to pack me. Next »
» 144 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
-
Who be Talkin'
Cheezburger Network Blog
ai can’t see nufin!! nuffin, ai tell you!! must be an eklipse.
Fleep! Grate jawb — U gotted da tawp spawt! Haow U wanna sillybrayt?
yay… me nawt fourth spot
Kitteh computer geels lub nawt Forth. Ok, powsting-wize. Well, dat mayks yew teh nawt sekkond nawt nawt nawt sekkond nawt sekkond.
Congrashulashuns on bein tha top of tha ty!
And tha nawt-sekkund in general!
Drinksies, dansies?
well, since it’s an eclipse, we can al enjoy sum astonomonomical myoosic
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgIADiDSpO4
.
and then sip on icy cold chawcklit martoonies, ai finkso.
Sounds lyk a fery gud choice!
I be found waltzin to dis Midnight Sky
Dat veedeeyow b awsum n fulla da win, Fleep!
Has sum freezee koald chokklit martooneez awn me!
(nawt az koald az da stufz dey wuz yoozin 2 kewl da ditekter n da veedeeyow, tho)
Lulz.
I fink I best lai of da icy cold stuf, ma teef are be hurtin me atm
I dunno wai, dey sumtimez haev a mind of der own!
I’ll just be sippin on mai latte, if that’z ohkay wiv yew, Phillipe- it’z ur sillbrashuns after awl!
but of coarse yew can having teh latte. n-joy!!
*clinks glass*
*sip sip*
T’wud be mai fird glass todahy!
Must maek shure I down’t OD!
*Porez freezee cold chokklit martoonee on Aahz, per himz rekwest*
I floo my plane up to nova skosha to see teh total eklips of teh sun.
(I’m so vain I kinda think dat song is about meh)
Isn’t that a wonderful self-reference that goes around in circles? Love the song, & C. S.
I dunno Y — itz nune heer
Aidoanfinkso….iz 3:00PM heer.
Iz 1pm heer….
8.11 Heer!
Iz 15:19 heer
1:30 here
Aha! Bai mai uhmayzin pouers ob dedukshun, Ai dedoos Aydrean is in TTI! Weeeeeeeeeeelll, toobeehonnust, Ai thort mebbe yu wer cos yu post wen oenlee teh Your Rope Ians R awayk!
Him iz im Grimsbai N.Lincs
Akshullee, it b 15:30 heer … Da kawmint bowt it beeyin nune wuz 4 da lolpic — kitteh sez itz dark, dunno Y, itz nune
…
Hay, itz da bestist I cood dew wat wif da “Noe Kawmintz” brayn freaz n awl…
Ai noed wat u ment – doan’t let dem get u doun! Mai commint gotted helled up bai mai pyooter bein bolshee.
Mai pyewtur tu. tuk haf owr tu boot naow.
ohai ms. green shews!!
Ai figgured taht wuz waht u mint, Aahz….whut wif bof ov us bein inna Souf and awl.
Ai doan geddit – it wuz daytiem a minnit ago.
I can has candul?
Or maybe just can? of tooona?
I can’t see, I can’t see!
Why not?
I got my eyes shut!
*TeeHee*
Yoozer: “Mai pooter nawt b werkin.”
TekSport: “Izzit plugded n?”
Yoozer: “I caynt tayl.”
TekSport: “Y nawt?”
Yoozer: “Da paowurz awf heer.”
TekSport: *heddesk*
Not funny. I have received this or similar calls before back in my days in tech support. LUsers. Pleh.
so, tak pitty on teh daft wuns of teh wurld, dey be lonley an jus wunt attenshun.
Iz sew funnee. U jess gotta laff, cuz wat els U gunna dew? I bin dere n dun dat (n gotted da tshurt n matchin kawphy mug) wif mannee such stoopee tek sport insidintz … we cood prolly swop stoareez sumtym obber sum hy-ind alkyhawlik bevvrijiz…
…
Yoozerz — U caynt liv wiffem, U caynt killem… (not IRL, ennywaiz)
testin agin!! sry
Gud afturnune, milady
Customer Support: “Computer assistant; may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
CS: “What sort of trouble?”
C: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
CS: “Went away?”
C: “They disappeared.”
CS: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
C: “Nothing.”
CS: “Nothing?”
C: “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
CS: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
C: “How do I tell?”
CS: “Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
C: “What’s a sea-prompt?”
CS: “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
C: “There isn’t any cursor, I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
CS: “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
C: “What’s a monitor?”
CS: “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
C: “I don’t know.”
CS: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
C: “Yes, I think so.”
CS: “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
C: “…….Yes, it is.”
CS: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
C: “No.”
CS: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
C: “…….Okay, here it is.”
CS: “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
“I can’t reach.”
CS: “Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
C: “No.”
CS: “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
C: “Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.”
CS: “Dark?”
C: “Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
CS: “Well, turn on the office light then.”
C: “I can’t.”
CS: “No? Why not?”
C: “Because there’s a power outage.”
CS: “A power… A power outage? Ah, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
C: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
CS: “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
C: “Really? Is it that bad?”
CS: “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
C: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
CS: “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”
[Snopes.com sez tihs iz an urbin lejind, butt Ai dunno. Nd wunce agin, tehse peepul r owt tehre voting!]
Dis wun reelee happinded:
(bak win “floppy” disks wuz reelee floppy)
Me: “Kin I hep U?”
Uzr: “Mai disk doan werk.”
Me: (finkin her b yoozin 1.2MB floppy n 360K drive) “Wich pooter U b triein 2 yooz it n?”
Uzr: (poyntz 2 AT-kumpattybull) “Dat wun.”
Me: “Shood werkz. Lemme c da disk.”
Uzr: (gitz disk owtta pokkit — unfoaldz it — unfoaldz it agin)
Me: *heddesk*
I hesitate to menshun dis wun becuz it be my own personul (well … fambly …) experyuns but …
My Gawd-muther wunce cawld owt a guy 2 luk at her washin masheen becuz it stawped b4 it got 2 teh spyn sy-cle. Toadally stawped. No go. Evry tym. An she cudn werk owt wut wuz rong.
He put teh lyd down an chargd her $50 ….
LOL. Wunce carreh v. hevy cabnt radio to repairs: soun not cumin awt.
Hed lill knob turned; sund, yr’e doing it rang.
Dey gots der muny.
I gotz perm purr prem long last memry.
U cannt seee meeee…..
…iff eye can’t c u!
“Daft as a hairbrush, the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is arguably the most insanely idiotically dense creature in existence. It believes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you.”
:-O
sposd 2b OOOH!
an tey will rather see dere own gramma beez eetin.
Vogons! wudn’t lift a finger 2 save own gramma frum teh Ravenous BBB uv Traal wiffout forms filled owt in triplicate, sent bak, lost, foudn, an buried in peat moss foar 3 munfs.
purrhaps I shud pull the shayd
Az lawng as yew doan pull teh nightshayde.
pushin beez unakseptabl 2, rite?
Well — iffin ai noe itz kumin… an if aiz wearin mai bavving soot… den itz ok to push meh into teh pool. Udder den dat, mebbe nawt.
Ai fort it wuz lunsh tiem
no, it be midnite snakky tiem.
Annipuss…
DO NOW WANT to be a payne…but yew’ve helpd mee behfoar…
Pleese cud yew tell meh how to put da hyperlink to mai profile in mai name up there ^
I wud be in your det foareber!
Ai fink ur best bet iz 2 goe to LCB’s profiel – she haz a tootoriel. Ai didded it, but Ai can’t `member haow!
BTW, u iz in N Lincs? Ai hoep 2 be in Lincoln nawt sekund weakend in Nobember.
cweenmj awlso has “ICHC helpers” in her profiel dat will halp u go bloo.
:O
!
Iz in N. Lincs- what a coinsidunse!
I hope your not be comin foar tha sun- z’not a purfect holiday spawt here
Noe, Ai cum fur teh open dai at teh Transport Museum – Ai cum twies ebbry yeer.
O i c.
Wull I hopez yew have funz
I’b nebber herd of that mooseum, let alown been!
cud make me wants to has career in astromononomony.
Hoo turnded off teh litez?
Teh purrsun hoo turnded teh dark awn.
no wanna go oot!!!
on second thot, lets send teh goggie out
oh noes! teh demen… dimmin… teh bad harry potter thingys!!
Dementors!
Harry Potter are be ma fave ting in tha wurld atm
Uder dan kittehs of curse!
Ai liek Hary Poter 2. Mai fabrit karaktr iz Sebrus Snaep, aifinkso!
/lolspeak/ if you like HP, I highly recommend the audio book versions read by Jim Dale — truly amazing! He does all different voices and really brings the stories to life. They are not cheap – but I got them from the library at first. You can listen to clips at nytimes.com, search for jim dale.
EXPECTO PATRONUM
(renember tu swish an flik)
can me jus run an screem hed off ma hed?
Doan’t attratct da mugglez atenshun! Wii will b doin memoree charmz awl affernoon!
mez jus pull oot ma strobe thingy dat i gotz frum teh Men in Black.
ill flasher et allover teh plais.
Butz, if yew getz hit- that’d be berry bad indeedz!
Lulz.
I fink it wud be best for awl if yew just sent an angreh or happy kitteh at tha dementors.
That wud maek them stop emeedyatlee!
like tis? http://icanhascheezburger.com/?s=i+haz+a+fierce
Eggsactly!
Sumwun shud tell Harry…
fink uv sumfing happee!!
KITTEHS!!
it beez 2:00pm heer school boring by da way…. espeshally when it purrfect tempurashur
U on ICHC at skewl? Doan’t lett ur purrfessur/teechur catch u! Iz purrfec heer in Marrieland tu! Whut part uff contree u in?
mez Kansas, an dey no mind long as mez dun wit homewurk
)
Now u doan haz tu dew yr hoamwuk tunite! Gud job.
ohai Tribble where is the Enturprize
is U on shore leave?
Yezz, eye iz onna shore leave uv sorts, huzband not hoam, sew eye getz tu plai fur a leetul whyle on ICHC!
U haz ur windowz ohpen? Izz beautifful dai inn Mareeland tu dai!
yes! the windoz is open an I ar going to run a liddel laytur.
We haz to meet soon tho, we may beez moving to NY
depends on whether hubcat gets himz grant approved…
Gasp! U leevin Mareeland?! Wii needs tu figuer sumting owt qwik.
Wear iz mye calynnder?
I doesn’t knoz rite now
iffen himz grant comez thru
we no moves
odder wise we moves
will knoz in beginning ov October
I hates mooving so Iz ar keepin mah pawzes
crossed
Yeh, Tribble — ware b ur Enterprise abatar?
Dis stoopy puter taykin sew loong tu refresh eye juss hazzent turned it on yet.
gud ting tho, eech kid getz there own Mac OS X to mess with teh skool haz own
wirless netwurk too. (It’s a really small skool, 100 highskool kidz)
Wow! Dat izz smawl skewl. Da ohai skewl heer haz sum puterz, but not neerlee nuff fur ebree kidlet.
ohey, i jus remembur, du yu watch G4 Cops 2.0, everee tim dat cums on i see a dude callin himself Tribble. it appeers on duh TeeVee answering teh questions dey ask teh veiwers.
No, eye tribble frum Star Trek. U ebber sene dat?
oh, ya me seez dat too.
Nawt seen Star Trek?
Nawt SEEN Star Trek?
Whoo ebber in teh whole wide wurl wif a TV an re-runs cudda nawt seen Star Trek?
Not seen Star Trek?
It’s highly improbable.
*snerk*
Fascinating… (*raises one eyebrow*)
Donut b gettin eemoshunul.
Aio haz nebber seed star trek STN.
Klewlez kitteh straikz ugen.
Snerk
ok I thot about wat i did n is reely sorry. can i come out uv timeout nao?
Hokay, iffin u promize not tu dew it agin.
I prawmiz. But ifn I getz a taim owt ugen, kan we dewz it sumwayr els? Kurtin smelz funneh.
Ai am Haydn. Teh meezer.
Twuz a dark an stormy nite.
We wer standeeng on teh dek.
Teh sheep wuz sinking.
Teh kaptin sed to meh,
Tell me a storeh, mice-un.
So I began.
Twuz a dark an stormy nite . . .
the winds was howling
an all the kittehz was scared
it was cloudy
you could not see a single star in the sky
it was pitch dark…
suddenly deh kittehz heard a scream
whoz was it
a goggie
anudder kitteh
bebbeh?
kitteh had the curious
but also a bit scared
whut was deh sound
kitteh wanted to knoz..
“It was a dark and stormy night…”
Not a very promising beginning…
— Capt. Jean-Luc Picard
June 4th, 1973 was much like any other summer’s day in Peterborough and Ralph Mellish, a file clerk at an insurance company, was on his way to work as usual when (*musical sting*) nothing happened! Scarcely able to believe his eyes, Ralph Mellish looked down, but one glance confirmed his suspicions: behind a bush, on the side of the road, there was no severed arm, no dismembered trunk of a man in his late fifties, no head in a bag – nothing, not a sausage! For Ralph Mellish this was not to be the start of any trail of events which would not, in no time at all, involve him in neither a tangled knot of suspicion nor any web of lies, which would – had he been not uninvolved – surely have led him to no other place than the Central Criminal Court of the Old Bailey. But it was not to be!
Enid, a sharp-eyed, clever young girl, who had been with the firm for only four weeks, couldn’t help noticing the complete absence of tiny, but telltale blood stains on Mr. Mellish’s clothing. Nor did she notice anything strange in Mr Mellish’s behaviour that whole morning, nor the next morning nor at any time before or since the entire period she worked with that firm.
“Have the new paper clips arrived, Enid?”
Hold thot pls. Must tak kittehs, get goggie, at vet’s.
Brb.
*facepalm
klearly ceelin cat forgotted 2 turn on teh great light in teh ski 2day
Hai, I lerned a noo frase todai:
“The defecation has come in contact with the rotary oscillator.”
Wate til dat hits da fan!
yew mite want to step awai frum teh fan!!
hittin teh fan……….yeh dats teh ticket!!!
ROFL!!!
Ohai rhsb! I haz awlwaiz liekded dat wun! Heerz anuvver wun 4 U:
)
“Get your fecal material coagulated”
( i.e., “Get your … um … STUFF together”
i cannot see! i cannot see! *boom*
Iz gittin dark in hear
An Ai takin orf awl mai clothez…
*snortle*
Testing, testing blueness.
Yay!
successful blooooness!! fleep will has tew gib yew teh awardz!!
congrashumalshuns, aydrean, on becoming blooish. This accomplishment is deserving of a naward, so we presentz you with a moosical performance of a sootably bloo character:
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiyc9Ak3EtQ
i has a pwablem,momcat ashleep and i wannts to do somthin oder dan wachin da tv or playin on da pooter,ineeds ta be active,any sugjestoinns?
fishy kitteh
U gots an MP3 or hedfones?
U cud lissen to some musicks and DANSDANSDANS!
:::::::::grabz leeza an’ dans-dans-danses::::::::::
00bark!!!!!11!!
indeed, you do know our napster password do you not?
go find yourslf something you like, music is fun!!
(yes, this is actually gascat, momcat and fishykitteh just steal my account because they’re too lazy to get teir own)
Kreeate teh accowntz & giv them to them for Labor Day.
tank u!!! ani dousnt nows r password gascat
fishykitty
thats muh kitteh!! thats muh picture!!! not muh capshon tho. thats Baby. i haf a nother one ov my othur kitteh Admiral doin teh same thang i hope that one makes it to teh homepage tooo!!!1!!!1
Tats muh kitteh, Baby!!1!! Not muh capshion tho. But yay! She made it on to teh homepage!11!!! I haf a nothur ov muh othr kitteh, Admiral, doin teh same thang on teh othr side ov teh windoh…I hope that piktur makes it on teh homepage, too!!!1!11!
Hey, iz it an eklipse?
ud tink 2 dai it wud ran but won wich jus sux. cuz i lik ran.
The Kitteh of Oz
is a bluu tonk-nese liek mahself!!
i see darkness… a shroud of darkness… or is it jus’ a curtain?
brainiac kitteh not sew brainy aksullee