I assembled my cat
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
i fink i has extra peaces.
heer’s teh screwy yew fergotted!
kittehs shirlee do nawt need any extra loose screws!
congrats leeza and m21k!
Oenlee kittehs cawled “Shirley”, or awl kittehs?!
Awl kittehs need extra screws loose, adn downt call my Shirley.
ef kittehs doan has extra skrews loos, den dey’re no fun adn yew mite as wel awl dem goggehs! kitteh skrews loos iz a MUST!
win.
Congratshulashuns on teh nawt-sekkundness!
Howabowt sum sillybrayshuns?
fanks!
how bowt a du it urself bluddy mary bar?
Wull I’d neber had a bluddy mary, so I gess I wull haff to watch sumwun else furst!
onlee if ai kin haz myne wiffowt teh tubazko, peppurs, ‘n’ tumaytowee jooses.
I makes myne wid V8 and tabasco U wanna has some?
I wud pleez to haev sum if it’z ohkay?
Wattabawt fudz?
I be so hungreh, I cud nom a horse!
NOM NOM NOM
sure, here U iz Aydrean
I maded sum breakfast
here is sum scrambloled eggs and toast
and hawt chocklit fur infamousqbert wid vunillah vodkas
pleh. no fank yoo. i can haz hawt choklit wif vunilluh vawdkas? iz BERREE tastee!
shure, u has wutebber u wants!
fuds? how about a make ur own omelit wif teh MYO drinkses?
U can has any fillings.. cheez, cheez, or cheez wif cheez!
mmmm…sownds nummee! duz enneebuddee no if dey sellz cheez at teh taibooteek?
ai can haz awseeawgo,
bree,
cheddurr…
dubble creem
edamm
frontenega
gooey-air
haf-our-tea
iberreeko…
Jarlsberg
havarti
i…
mefinks divakitteh’s alfabett goaz diffurnt wayz frum myne. O_o
Kaas frum Holland
Leicester frum TTI
Munster frum Jermanee
N…
Neufshatell
Old stinkee kinds
Pimentoe
Nyce rype Camembert
Orange cheez from Holland – EDAM?
Pepper Jack
Q
Quayso blawnco
rikkawtuh
smoakee gooduh…
Teeny tiny Baybel cheese
Unused cheese
Very good cheese
W…
White cheddar
Zermat
I wus finking Wenslydale but I cudden come wiff and X or a Y eever.f
AI juz furgod about dem! Stoopee me!
Leszee
Xtra sharp cheddar
Yummee cheese
Zesty hawsieraddish cheese
tab a sposed tew go in slot b, aifinkso!
but teh labels wuz printed bakwerds, ai swares!
poor kitteh, lookz broke… mebbe kitteh meyd in china, hehehehe
az wud any typical man
Ha! Is troo.
Mens finks instrukshens am silleh. Taht’s wai wimmins has to put ebbrifin tugedder.
trubble iz the men aura prowd of there incorrect assembledges
as, for example, in the abov photo
I red that at furst as ‘proud of their appendages’….
tew the NB wif u!!!
well she does haffa point…
Hee! Taht’s troo, too. Sew prowd taht tehy finks we enbys tehm.
and they NAME them????
Yeah, what’s up with that? It’s not like they’re going to forget it’s there.
Roger taht.
*snerk*
ackshly, dose silee menz mite. i doan fink ‘testosterone’ iz sutch a gud hormoan fer teh smartniss. at da last skool yeer ob mien, der wuz sum jerkface boyz whu seemed to have moar testosterone den plasma! srsly!
Troo, but tehy alwaze seems to be yuzin whutebber liddul brayn powr tehy can has to fink abowt tehir dingle dangles.
I has always wished I could play pianano, do dat mean I has pianist envy?
Ai haz neber naemed myne.
Yah, an axin fer direkshuns? Tehy wil SWARE taht tehy can git to Loss Anjeless bai wae ob Lundun.
Ai *awlwaiz* ask direkshunz!
ummm…. miss ly? yoo KIN gits to loss anjeless bai wae ob lundun! Yoo just gotz to noes how too swimz!!
Amen to dat !!!
Ai used to hav to put awl uv stepson’s tois togedder…ex-hubby wuz hopeless !!!
but u canz keep dems reely beesee iffn u gibs dem sumfing frum da lego 2 puts eet 2geddur. wurks wib awl achegroops adn gibs u lawts ob tyme fur habbing nyc conbersashun wib dems girlfwends…
Awlso trane sets and car trax!
mai boikitteh iz a Lego fanatik – ai haff becum berry gud at puttin Lego sets togedder wif him cuz mai huzzbin refyooses to eben trai
ooo, UK- u bringz ur famblee to so cal forda vakashun,
u can go 2awlda famous places, liek dizzyland n unibersal
stood-ee-ohs n knotts beri farm, but speshallee for da
kidlet- u can goes to Legoland ! iz amazing !
hubbi mite find it interestin, too !
axshooly – ai tooked mai boikitteh dere last summer fer bacation!! we tooked teh Amtrak train owt (we lib in Noo Yawk), wuz really kewl…wented to Legoland twice nad the San Diego Zoo oncte. Mai boikitteh WANTS tew go back!! WE alsew wented tew TTI a couple yeers ago – mai brudder wuz statyoned dere, nad we wented to Legoland dere tew – but it wuz bigger dan we especded, we went tew Windsor Castle nawt secund, din’t haff enuff tyme fer Legoland,we din’t see it awl
Want tew go back to TTI, tew!!!
an mai huzbin din’t want tew go to Calyfornya -so we wented widout him!!
mai boikitteh’s dream iz tew werk fer de Lego kompanee
u mite alzo liek twistee balloons – deys fun to maek big ole consturckshuns wid. Mai sizzer in law didnt wanna work wid dem, an wound up mekking a pterrordachtyl wid eight ub dem…waz so BIG!
Duznt hurt wen dey brake, like reglar bloons – u juz feehl puff uf air – dey be verry soff.
mai brudder, sisserinlaw, an niece awl did um tugedder unda floor ub libbin rum. Unna dah fardest frum lazt ting niece sed, at age 15 months! waz “I need more pieces here!”
discsclaimer: men are wonderful wii love them
esp those that can laff atta themseffs!!
true, esp teh las part ^^
@@@@@@ FTW 2wh2blk2stripey !!!!1!
ZACKLEE! Ai lubs mai hubbeh moar tahn ennyfin. Sumtymz man-think jus puzzelz me, tho.
ai agree – mai huzzbin dussn’t use reh manyool fer NEting! Ai iz berry uzed too doing tings maiself, so dey iz dun rite…nuffin against mens, jest ai’d radder du it maiself teh rite wai teh nawt secund tyme
Itz doze weerd instrukshuns translyted frum Chinese to English. Dey nebber maek sense.
can we has ingrish?
Do not fold, bend, spindle or mutilate….
Oops. Too late!
“spindle”
Naow derz a verb wii dont heer much aneemoar.
Sownds payneful
***shudders***
Bein impaled uzhully iz.
:snerk:
I thot teh spindle wuz the thing on the spinning wheel, ala Sleeping Byootee?
iz a grayt pokin’ stik. snoozee gurl jus’ hadz a leedul wun.
wen did vlad teh impaler bekum part uv teh sleeping byootee storee? ore is that onlee in teh uncensored vershun (bekuz all teh blud wuz skaring teh nannies and parints uv small children- nawt teh childrens tehmselves).
*old troll mode on*
The ‘Do not fold spindle or mutilate’ came from IBM when they started producing a billing program that used 80 column ‘Hollerith’ cards. The cards were punched wiff important info and the folding or mutilating made it hard to feed dem. The spindle that was used up to that point was simply a 4 to 6 inch spike on a base that you would skewer yer paid bills onto so they wouldn’t blow away. The spindle would punch an extra hole in the bill/card which made it invalid when the company tried to feed it frew their card reader.
*old troll mode off*
you know trolling is really no fun no matter wut kinda troll yer gonna be.
My best work prank ever was 30 yrs ago and involved a card readin machine and a cranky old coot, not unlike the one I am turning into. It would be a lotta typing so we’ll let it pass.
dont yoo lub turnen in2 a kranky-old-coot?! Ai
dew ! iz fun ! since ai retyred mai troo
purrsonalitee iz cumin toodah fore !
snarky-sarcastic n dee udder dai ai ack chew ally
yelled “get off da grass!” at da kidlets!
whoo hoo!
(iam gonna getz mi one ah dose “crazy-cat-lady-starer kits”!
whoopzi- starter kitz, ai meant
*Doin teh cranky-ole-koot dansdansdans* Urr rite, SM, M retarred adn lurbin it. *git off teh grass**wares ur mama*how come nobudy maiks tohse kids behabe*how come ur nawt N skul*heevins* DuN whut u wonts. Etin whut u wonts. Wurkt a lawng tahm 4 it adn ais gonna B a KOOT!
Reeding ur commints ai start 2 fink it rly srlsly coold be fun.
“Starer” gibs pichurs in deh hed.
I’se enjoyin the cootness but I can’t decide if I wanna take the necks step into Dirty-Ole-Man-ness. I fink I’ll stick wid the cranky coot dans or more likely *shuffle shuffle shuffle*
yeh, yeh, skaree faree tayles… a tayle rilatytin 2 dat, i has wun.
when we wuz lernin bowt Sir Francis Drake in mah fassinaytin histree klass, we lurned ‘bowt how he wuz a Brittitch pirate an a soopr gud wun, such a gud wun dat Spanyerd mommas in teh 16th sentree wud tell tehre lil kidlets to b-have, or else dey wud maek Sir Francis Drake come in and steal them away 2 England where they wud b-com slaevs. Den mah histree teechr sed dat he tried dat wif hims kidlets, an dey dint get it. (Sir Francis Drake will kum get meh iffin i nawt gud? whu b hims? hims b a pirate? kewl. duz hims hab a reely kewl ship?) Den he asked da klass whut tehre parints sed wud git dem iffin dey wer nawt gud. wun gui sed “My brothers.” wun gurl sed “Goldilocks” and wi wur liek huh? den she sed dat b-foar she red reel storree ob Goldilocks nd da bears, her daddee toald hur hims oan vershun, wer Goldilocks wuz a big wurm wiff lotsa teefs, nd den she aet da three bears.
IKEA cat strikes agin !!
Ai tink ai has mai nekst cat’s naem.
Ohai, eeck. I saw teh storeh uv teh Meeshigan cheez-meet on teh pikshor frum yestiday (teh orinj wunz is poysin). So glad yoo kuld pass alawng gud tidings an support for owr PB2K! Lettuce noes when yor pikshors ar reddy to luk at!
BTW, I thot teh pikshor uv teh kitteh nawt wuntin to eet teh karriit wuz wun uv teh funniest thingz I haz seen on ICHC in a lawng whyl! Wuzza gud thred too, lots uv funneh onnit! I wuz dyalin in frum hoem – culd see teh pikshors but when I klikd on teh commints, teh payg wuld never load.
A sad feline – lyke watchin a grayt party goin on rite neggst dor an not bein able to attend. I misses mah cheez-peeps!
we misses u 2 Gremin.
*schmoo*
*eerz perk up, tayl givs a happeh twitch*
Why, fankoo, leeza-b! Nyce thing iz that on cheez-land teh partay is preserved fur pawsterity. Reedin it laytur is fun, but nawt as fun as bein ther! Wuzza most eggsalad thred, tho, awl teh way arownd!
I finds that I always think uv teh bestest commints on those, when it’s too late to make em.
Schmoos frum me,too !!!!
Ai dropped off teh film last nite at Target…..should be able to pick it up tonite & werk on posting piks. Hope ai got sum gud ones…u nebber know wif film!!!!
A sad storee abowt teh cheezmeet….ai losted a roll uv film at the RenFest,and thot it wuz a new roll.Turns owt it wuz a roll wif vacation pikturs awn it
Uv course,mai vacation wuz nawt berry gud(thrown frum horse,kidney stones)
so ai guess ai don’t need those memories!
Y4 U naming deh horse Kidney Stones???
Tis troo – wud bee stranj – but LOL! She did say it!!
*snikkr* Yoo guise! She did say it, tho! Iz nawt so poetik as sum nayms, but will do.
*annownser voyce* An nao, heer we iz at Churchill Downs!
An rydin in on her horse, Kidney Stones, an puttin on an awesome display, is eeckthecat!
hm well, I did originally name the noo kitteh Heartworm… so I can’t say ennything, ifinknot!
Iz dere being ruum in deh Nawtee Barn 4 anuzzer horse?
I finkso, Kidney Stonez wud enjoy living dere wif Petunya adn BR.
Mai thurd trai. Ai has switched over to safari. *sniff* Ai haet to bee a crai-babeee, but WP keeps eeting mai commints!
Ai’ll maek this short. Yes. Kidney Stones wud bee most welcome! LOL!! Did enewyn eber sayt that befoar?????
:snerk: @ deh last haf uv deh commint.
*sigh* adn {{{Janet}}} @ deh nawt–sekkund haf uv deh commint. Y4 WP b such a jerkfais program adn eeting deh commints?
Heer ubda raece hawsie naemed “Hoof-hearted” – announsir say fazt and entusiastic cuz Hoof-hearted winning, and iz berry funneee.
Yeah,Yeah….yuk it up at my expense…….
o, heer,heer eekee- i gibs u uropeean greetin : schmoo
onna da rite cheek, schmoo onna da left cheek-
dey b jest laffin wit yoo, neber AT yoo !
btw- whyd yoo naem ur horsee kidney stones?
Okai,let me rephrase dat….
On mai vacation,ai gotted thrown from a horse AND ai got kidney stones.
Onlee u guys culd both exas..eggsas…make me crazee and make me laff at teh sayme tyme !!!!!!!
But . . .but. . .we ar awlreddee fixing up teh egg straw stawl fur Kidney Stones in teh Nawtee Barn. Ptunia an BR an Unique Orn ar awl egg sighted to see tehir noo companion!
Ai fink dis littlol commint got lost and woold have laiked 2 bee further up teh fred….
OOOOOOPS
It reposishoned itself!!
Well,den….we shall certainly keep Kidney Stones as our newest addition to teh barn. If nuthin else,will mayke a funnee storee fer new peeps as to why we has a horse named Kidney Stones.
{{eeck}} Awl kiddin (ney-stones) asyd. I is sawree yor vakayshun wuz nawt enny fun. Teh fayts haz stolen yor pikshors so yoo will hardly remember it inna few yeerz! I hope yor neggst wun (vakayshun, nawt kidney stones) is beddur!
{{{{gremlin}}}}
Fank u,mai fren !
Hoep ya feelin mush-mush beddr, boff in de waterwurks depardment, an anyware u hurted by naughty-naughty hawsie.
Gud naem fur hawsie liek dat!
Ohai, Ikeeyakat? I haz a bit uv n ussmeblin mizhap. Plz tu halp?
Itz pretzul lojic.
The Dan FTW!
Morph teh Cat!
I just luv the littl *SPLORT*
*nods hed, luks at orinj behbeh, luks away* Teh orinj wunz is danjrus!
Aym shur uthers will wunna halp yoo, but I tries to be kwik:
*scoopin up teh brayns, puttem bak in teh hed*
*puttin on teh noo CHRG, pullin it tite*
*yardz an yardz uv duk tayp, wrappin an wrappin*
Nao, thatz a lawt uf tayp! Yoo kin freely luk at this kitteh agin. Heer, I givs yoo a blankee wit orinj kitteh dezines onnit. *wraps Sairys in blankee*
fankee verry much gremlin, mez fellin betr alreddy
Itz a slinkeh kitteh!
Nawt sew fun 2 push down teh stairs, ackshully.
LOL!!!!
Eff u push downstairs, duz he go end ober end?
maam! dis slinkeh hab sharpy-pointy bitz!
Iz praktising fur kitteh lolympics
in mah sleep
Must b part uv deh jim nast eekz roo teen.
Is a noo Lolympics event: the Bi-cat-a-lon which combynes speed snoozing and contorting – approved apparcatus inkluud small bawkes, shoes, soda cartons, bags of assorted sizes, and tight spaces between cushions.
!!!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!! YUP!!!!
But, it nawt luuk lyk teh kitteh awn teh bocks….
picture fur illustraighting porpoises onlee, rezults may vary
Kinda lyk “resultz nawt typicul”, huh?
Surving sujjestyun?
Kitteh sujjestz u alwayz surving him.
Surving him gushifudz adn kibblez adn katnip mouzeez fer starterz.
hed bonz kanekted to da…thi bonz? an da tummee bonz???? weerd kitteh.
Obama’s kitteh has no backbone
pLOLitiks iz alloud heer?
has backbone is just flexible enuff to get out of tuff spots
just like all kittehs
U did dat awl bai urself? Ai wudda nebber gessed it….
**sarcasm off**
Moar tahn sum assembleez rekwired, aifinkso.
adn yur yoga pose izzzz….
Revolved Downward Facing Kitteh?
is free style yoga
I makes mah own poses
if U laffs at me
I iz coming aftur U
kitteh haz a wayz too go yet
http://www.bikramyoga.com/images/AshleyHooper10b.jpg
Dat iz nawt possibul. Ai fink its …wate fur it…. PHOTOSHOPPED!
*snickersnerkgiggleguffaw*
rhsb, jus chekin’: Did yoo see mai post on ‘do liek dis’ (ai fink) abaot mai gibbing eggstra snorglez tew Zeus foar ewe?
jus wunder ring.
Yesh, ai did. Fanks, Oobark.
Sinse ai nawt has a kitteh ov mai oan rite nao, ai has 2 snorgle vikaryuslee frew mai frenz heer.
Zeus no luk lyk a brat. Him luks lyk himz teh boss an himz knoz it! Tipikul kitteh!
Boss Kitteh? ABSLOLUTELY! Him waeks meh upfi at 4:30-to-4:45 in teh ay em awlmoast ebery moaning…BRAT CAT!
Him waekes meh UPFI??? Hey!!! Disclaimer! Ai waykes nobuddy at 4:30 ay em! AI can hardly gets up at 5:30 ay em, let alone tortshure poor OOBARK!
Wasn’t me! Ai swares!!!
So whut yoo is sayin is yoo denies teh alley-gayshuns . . .
Yes! No! Wasn’t me!!1! Ai solemmy swares dat ai did NAWT waykes oobark upfi. Dint do it. Nebber. Dunt ebben noes where oobark libs. And wot tyme zone oobark is in. Pweaze dunt disassumble me.
Yah, yah, lyklee storee….
ai has fownd teh flaw in yer argooment upfi- yu duznt noe wut time zone oobark is in. therfore, iffn yu woked him up at 9:30 am yer taim, it kud be 4:30 am himz taim. therfore, yu is GILTY!
Oh, kitsunerina – I hazzint herd tawk lyke this on ICHC sinz . . . . drum roll . . . teh trial uv teh century!
*luks arownd for a 100$ towel*
Ai can has 100$ towel to hide unda, pweaze? Or bedder still, to hide teh alarm clock?
Wot can ai do iffn oobark has littlol cat err pillars on his mind when his kitteh waykes him upfi at unearfly hours? Nawt mai fault! Rly! Ai may bee cat err pillar, but ai err too mush to wayke ebben maiself up on tyme 4 wurk.
tangentals:
wen ar teh earflee hours?
an iz an alternat definishun uv gilty ‘kuvvered wif gold leef?’ ore iz taht werd splelled wif a d?
Dunno!!!1!! But ai DO noes dat ai prefurs 2 be guilty as in kuvvered if gold leef. Lukking at teh stawck eggs change maykes me wunder whevva it woold be wise 2 invest sum munnies in gold. But ai shure is nawt responcible 4 wayking up oobark!!!!!1!!
OOBARK!!! Where R U??? Pweaze to cum and tell teh cheezfrenz it wasn’t me. Pritty pweaze?
Oy wur BRAT-CAT Zeus hpp waked mi upfi…or were it upfi hoo wakeded Zeus upfi, an’ tehn Ebil Zeus wakeded mi upfi??? :confused:
Oy = It
hpp = hoo///an’ waaked = wakeded. ::::::::sigh::::: ai be tai’erd…tpyos eberyware
…an’ menny moar tpyos
gudnitez, awl; slepe in a well.
Iffn oobark iz confoozed as to who woke him up and halps to klarify matters wif plenty of tai pose, ai rest mai case. Wazznt me. Nope. No way.
Iffn teh typos duzzint fit, teh joory must akwit!
CASE DISMISSED!!!
Wehn ai had mai Josie (oar, wehn hur had mi), mai titlol wuz, “Servant #1″.
Akording 2 hur, mai mane porpoise in lyf wuz 2 feed hur, skoop teh bocks, skratch hur eers, rub hur belleh and do watebber her wantid mi 2 do.
Wehn Hubby#1 an ai wuz marryed, hur wuz nawt aloud 2 sleep inna bedrume wif us (himz allergees). Josie wud meow lowdlee atta door until ai gotted up. Eben awn CATURDAI!
*singz* Teh pawz ar kinnekted to teh . . . elbow!
Teh hed is kinnekted to teh . . . snorgly-tum!
LOLZ, gremlin…an’ gud moaningz tew yew, two!
Gud mornink, owl! Yor Zeus kitteh waykin yoo up erley sownds pritteh typikal fur a kitteh. Mah Dexter lykes teh erlee mornink – me, nawt so much.
Teh eggsperts sez to ignoar a kitteh hoo wayks yoo – do nawt snorgle it, do nawt feed it, do nawt giv it enny tenshun at awl. I say iz verreh hart to ignoar a katerwaulin kitteh or wun hoo is knokkin things over maykin noyz on porpoise!
Kitteh wayks me up, luks happeh to see me, sez – Ohai! I missd yoo awl nite! Aym so glad to see yoo; I luvz yoo so . . . (iz hard to rezist!)
dis is teh troo!
wif teh noo kitteh, she is still kept separate at night and she wud cry earlie in the morning at first… but I ignored her, b/c I knew if I responded she wud have me traned!
Gradyooally she has stopped crying, or only cries for a short time now.
Owl, sownds like Zeus alreddy has u traned tho. So it mite take longer for u. Sowry!
snorlges for yor noo kitteh, gummi! {{s{gummi}s}) <– datz snorgles!
I tries to do whut teh eggsperts sez. Dexter yoosed to yowl at 4 am, an at 6. I ignored teh 4 am (turnin up teh ayr kundishner halps drown owt teh kries, she sed giltily). He still duzzit at 6 tho, even on Caturday.
Aym nawt shor which is wurs: when he yowls lowdly an throws himself agenst teh door, or when teh merowls starts gittin smallr an smallr an pittiful. Thos is teh wunz that borks mah hart.
Wehn ai nawt seckund ‘dopted Josie, wii libbed inna ‘partmint.
Ebery dai wen ai wud come hoem frum werk, ai wud walk inna door ov teh bildin an heer berry lowd, constant meows comin frum mai door. Sumhao, hur knowed ai wuz hoem. I eben tryed sneekin in, but hur mustve smellded mi, aifinkso.
Here’s sum for Dexter! {{s{Dexter}s})
All ov Gummi’s cryings sownd ptiful. She has a soft tinee meow.
But she ackshully let me sleep til 8 on Sundai!
Itz lways a challenj to try and be teh traner i/o teh tranee!!
But I iz keepin hur owt b/c of Thelma and Weezy. If Dexter is ur onlee kitteh, he can’t sleep wif u? Sowry, is dat nosey to ask?
Sum nites I letz heem sleep wit meh – but he wunz to play play play onna bed, play play play onna flor, jump jump jump frumtehbedtotehflor. Nawt so much sleep fur teh gremlin when teh kitteh is in teh bed. Iffn he wuld akshuly SLEEP, he wuld be teh welkum!
Ifinkso as he gits a liddel bigger, he wil do beddur wit teh nites. He haz himz own room that he stays in at nite an whyl aym at wurk – givvin heem aksess to teh haus is still a bit nervus-maykin to meh kaws he keeps findin noo trubbel to git into!
He killd his first bugs on Caturday nite (2 flyin bugz an a spyder), an wuz awl eggsited! But teh wun he kawt whyl jumpin up on teh banister, which skayred meh. He fell throo teh banister when he wuz furst udopted, an I wuzzafeerd he wuld be harmed. At nite I wurriez that he wuld do stuffs lyke that when I wuzzint awayk to sayv heem!
Ai think teh sawft pitiful mewing iz bai far teh wurst. An he throws himslef againt teh door. Oh, gremlin, deer SIB, hao can yoo nawt let him in??
Oh – an ai luv teh way yoo doo teh snorgles {{s{snorgles}s}}. Verree useful. Doo yoo remembur who furst gav us teh {{hugs}}?? Wuzzit Melissa??
Ohai, deer sis-in-paw Janet! Teh hugs wuz heer befoar I wuz.
Wun uv mah furst postings wuz a sad storeh abowt mah Gremlin. An sumwun wrote mah naym an put those brakkets arownd it as a respawns. At teh tyme I did nawt no whut it ment! I went bak laytur an reallyzed I had bin hugged! Had I known, I wuld hav returned those hugs in kynd. Wuz wun uv teh furst tyme I realyzed hao sweet teh cheez-land peeps culd be – huggin sumwun they barely knew! Teh gud hartz uv cheez-peeps – let us show yoo them!
Wen Josie usta waek mi up at teh erlee howers, ai wud axk hur, “U hazza snooze buttin?”
Troo…iz liek habing a reel behbeh, ai suppoaz: Keep gettingz upfi wen him maeks a noize, and him will keep markingz teh noize, becuz him iz ownly too happytail tew hab meh az uh slabe.
“Getting upfi”???? Aw heck … will u pweaze let me sleep? Kthxbai.
Mai Ben-ums singz at nite whaile carrying a fafurite toy. Ai like his songs! He sings Meowzart, and Purrcini mostly
Wat a talentid kitteh u has!
Mai paruntz kitteh had a sock hur played wif alla tyem. At nite, hur wud holler 4 it. Nobodee inna howse gotted enny sleep until Peggy fownded hur sock.
ATTENSHUN PLZ—AI HAZ A SURGERY ANNOWNCMINT
**************************
WEll, many of you were not aware that I tore the Miniscus/cartilage in my right knee, back in March…Not much fun!!
Anyways, after several months of going back n forth with Med Ins Co’s, I finally got my MRI done which led to me having to have Orthroscopic Surgery done on my knee…Yesterday, Aug. 25th, bright n early at 6am I was at the hospital.
HA, well, yesterday was literally a ‘trip’! Surgery went well.
I got home & there’s like, no pain & I’m thinkin, “this is pretty kewl”! And I proceeded to fall asleep off & on, ALL DAY LONG!
One minute I’m there, the next I’m Konked out and wakin up going, Hhmmmmm… I don’t remember goin to sleep!??!
As I went to bed, I could feel my knee starting to hurt so I took the pain pills the Doc told me to take. I slept ok, not the best, just in & out Ok… NOW, this morning, “I has the pain” …WOW… Not so great, akshully!!1! Everybody is tellin me to keep drugged up as long as the Doc says, so, with this kind of “OWOEEE”, I think I will!!
I got like 8 movies before surgery and 3 books so I will have stuff to occupy my down time. I did all the major chores the week beforehand so I won’t be “OCDing” about “havin to get things done”!! All in all, I’m good…Maybe I’ll have Doc “redo” my left knee next! LoL
Thx 4 thinkin of me!
********************
U may continu wif chattin n LoLing nao!!1!
ohai, misslionforu! Sawree to heer abowt yor payn, but think hao much bedder it will be when yoo ar awl dun with this!
I luvs to watch moovies when aym sik! Izza treet – I haz bin known to watch sevral moovies in teh saym day when aym “owt sik.” Whut movies duz yoo haz on yor list for today? *she sed, perkin up orinj floofy eerz*
OHAI GREMLIN
{{{GREMLIN}}}
AI haz sum akshun flicks n misc…mai sun wetn n pikt owt a bunch sew dis awt 2 B interestin!! Ai fink Ai sawd “be kind, rewind” in teh pile.
It’s “new releece dai” at blawkbustur sew Ai mite hab him go git sum
neu releecez insted ob de ol’ wunz.
ohai misslionforu, sew sorree to here u inna da painz, hopee healinz iz bery qwik fer u
kewl dat ur surgery went well!! but sorry fur ur hurting agayn
i waz finkin where u’d been, sowwy if u’d been in da hospitalol,
get well soon!!
{{{hashim}}} Fanks sweetie….Ai wuz werkin alot sew 2 hab da kitteh fud munneez wile Ai wuz laid up frum surgeree…Dis neu hert is da
guud kidn tho. Knee will B muhc btr suunest, Ai hoep!
[/lolspeak]
Everyone who tells you to stay drugged up is ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. You’ll be more comfortable if you take your drugs on time than if you let them slip and then have to catch up to the pain. That is REALLY not so fun actually. Take this from a gal who’s had three surgeries in the last two years.
Speedy and smooth recovery to you!
{{{m21k}}} Yes deer, fank U sew muhc!!1!
It’s kinda fun 2 B “loopy”…
**skraches fuzzy hedN finks**
wut kinda silly, mind altered LoLs Ai can coem up wif!!1!
{{{{{misslionforu}}}}}}
Glad 2 here ebberyfing went well and u r recubbering. Give teh knee sum tyme, k? Ai hope teh medicashun lasts long enough. Payn is teh PLEH.
{{{upfi}}}
Fanks sew muhc!! Ai B awf werk fur 2 weekz, aifinkso…
3 refills sew Ai shud B guud! Ai such a babee wen it cums 2 da
pian! * dabs eye n sniffles*
Ai B ok..,.Ai gots mai 2 son kittehs 2 taek gud caer ob me!
Awf werk is gud cos it meanz u can play awn ICHC, aifinkso. Dere’s nuffink rong wif being sensee … senc … not wanting pain. It just means ur normul. Pweaze to tayke good care of urself, cos iffn u dont, nobuddy will (and teh cheezpeeps r too far afield and “only” gibs virtjooal support. But ebbery littul bit halps, dunt it.
ohai, misslionforu, sorry to heer yor knee was borkded, glad yoo haz teh surjury to get it fixded. hope yoo haz a gud rekovery an enjoyz yor movees an buks gilt-free! an hoep teh owwiees go away!!
Thatz so kyoot! Mah kitteh karries himz toys throo teh haus, too. Mostly mauses. And sum uv them ar mauses wit no tayls nao. Even teh wun I sewed teh tayl bak on (in medikal braky-throo surjeries) wunz agin haz no tayl!
But hao duz yor kitteh karry an sing at teh saym tyme? Duz he karry teh toi wit himz paws or hims mauth?
wen ah gibz meh girlees de new fuzzie mousie toyz ah haz 2 cut de tailz off ferst cauze de noms dem off iffin ah dontz, witch meks dem leab lil prezzies round de houze.
Dey funnee girlz, doan matterz iffin deys elebenty mousies, alla same inna de package, dey bof wantz de same won.
Ai nebber seez him duin it, cuz he onlee duz wen ai in bed. Ai tink he singz around it. Eff ai inchurupp him, ai fin him smiling at me an toi rite beside him.
Ai traiz to ignoar, nutt ai doan’t wawnt him to scratch nestroom doar. Ai aer in a rented tree-dwelling…mite cawst mi munny.
Yoo sew glad to see meh??? Yoo lubz OOBARK??? oh, my!
nutt = butt
If ai cud get in2 dat posishun, ai wud joyn teh cirkus, aifinkso!
this one?:
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1721289
mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1721289
nekst tiem doo Read Teh Fassinating Manuul
*viggorous nod* Ai writes fassinating manjools IRL and ai do appresh … apra…
lubs an attentive audijents!
Funny… We never called them “fascinating”…
At leest this time I wasnt teh only one who red it taht way….
Fassinaytin izn’t teh wurd Ai’d yooz eever. Praps teh wuns rited in ingerlish aer OK, but teh wuns in ingrish……
Ai agrees manjooals in lolspeak woold be mush moar entertaining, but ai is nawt allowed 2 use lolspeak, ifink. And ai bet nobuddy ebber cawls dem fassinating, but just teh same, BusinessCatSuit did it and who am ai 2 argue wif a business cat!
I’m not a cat much less a business cat. Just wear the suit. Jewish lawyer kinda sort (the suit).
Just trying to refrain from using profanity on this wonderful website full of cute and win.
Dat is bery bery kind of u to play so naice wif us! Welkum BusinessCatSuit1!!!!
Ai dont fink we has met be4. And is quite ok to use ingerlish. Use ennyfing u like if u fink dis website is full of teh kyoot and teh awesumness. And it is. And so R U!
*holds welkum! banner up wif feelers*
Oh, an upfi. That banner being held up wif yur liddle feelers – hao cyoot iz taht! Ai dint know yur feelerz were taht strawng!
Ai does marshal arts twyce a week, u noes.
I haz herd uv menneh styls uv teh marshal arts.
But I haz nevr herd uv “katerpillar style.”
LOL! Then agin, the old kung-fu guise wuz always sayin wyze things lyke “ah, grasshopper!” So mebbe ther is menneh bug-styles avaylable!
Yoo makes it sound liek if it were uniform of some sort. Tiz much moar subtitl… substit… subvers… not so loud. Some patterns cans be observed though in modeling, tailoring and choice of materials.
OK!! Ai’ll byte!! Waht DID you cawl them????
wii ushullee b kawling dem deh destrukshunz.
Sum Jermans say: Reed teh f … antastick manjooal! And dey say it in ingerlish. Teh Jerman wurd 4 manjooal is “Handbuch” = hand book. Ai sumtimes cawl it “Schandbuch”, which is litter alley “shame book”. Sum manjoofacksherer shoold rly bee ashamed of teh quality of their manjooals.
Did sumbuddy say man-jools?
Oh, yoo ment manuals!? That wuzzint whut I wuz finkin.
*lowers hed, sends self to teh nawtee barn*
Ai WAZ hearing sumfink laik dat when ai wrote it, u noes.
*changes direcshun and crawls towards NB*
Watch owt fer Kidney Stones.
Ai’ll just crawl around, dunt worry.
Mebbe u nebber red Upfi’s – bet dey be fuhn an fascinating, azwehlaz infurmatiff!
i has noting but refpect for yoor traid upfi
Ooooh, ai awnly read dis after ai rolled out teh welkum banner. Ai get awl red in teh faice nao.
*rubs toe in dirt, luks intensely at ground*
Fank u BusinessCatSuit. Ai feels bery honnered. Ai noes hao hard it is 2 write gud dockoo … doc hum … manjooals and nobbuddy ebber wants 2 reed dem (nawt eben me when ai buy sumfink njoo), but sumtymes u just need 2 be ablol 2 luk up wot 2 do. And den it bedder had be propur ingerlish and well eggs planed.
Purrsunal motto: “Wen awl else fayls, reed deh instruckshuns!”
“Pretzel Logic” kitteh
oopsy, eve beeted meh 2 da steely dan refrunce
gud song
exorsist kitteh turnz himz hed round 4 timez
…kreepee…
One more reason why the manual is always your friend.
FANK U FANK U FANK U bolmedias14 !!!!!1!!!
Dis is mai field day! WOOT WOOT!!1!! Sow mush praize in only WUN day 4 a ushually disregardud langoo edge purfeshional is too mush 2 bear ….
*
runscrawls quickly away to hide leaky face**pat pat pat* awn yur liddle shoulder and *dab dab dab* wif mai prittee hankee awn yur leekee fayce.
Ai’ll bet AWL yur manuals ar UDDERLEE fascintating! An mennee peepl probablee has tehm bawnd in lether to preserve tham, ai hav now dowt.
ai think ai wud laik manuals bedder if a had YURS. Moast ov mine. . . ai dont awlwaiz quite understand. Sumtaims they seem to hav left sum things aut!
*sniff*
Fank u Janet!! U is most kind. Fanks 4 teh pritty hankee. Can ai just …
*HONK*
… dere, dat’s beddur. AI dunt suppaws u wants it back nao, tho.
Ai dont fink peeps bovver wif bainding dem in lether cos dey get updayted ebbery yeer or so. So is nawt rly wurth teh lether. Unless u haz a fettish. (sumbuddy WILL send teh littul cat err pillar to teh NB in a minnit). But yes, too menny fings get left out and ai sits here awl day and puts dem in. Iffn ai’m nawt poasting on ICHC lyke nao.
ifinkso water would be nice rite naow… **hands upfi a cool glass of water**
hope dis maeks u feel happee!! its nawt liek it haz a happee potion or sumfin in it…. trust meh, dier isnt anyfing liek in it liek dat!!
.
I albays read manuals!! iffin if dey be in Japanese, i still see da pikshures to get a better idea!!
Fank u Hashim, bery thoughtful of U. *sips water, finking it is happi poshion*
Mai manjooals R oridginally frum Japan written bai sumbuddy wif ingerlish as a foareign lan goo edge. And on tawp of straynge ingerlish dey awlways ferget 2 put in important stuff. *sigh*
*sip sip sip*
aw well, sumfin iz better dan nuffin!!
i hab seen japanese products which dey try to turn into english but….hehhee…. it gets spoiled!!
BTW, Upfi, mai mommeekat waz frum Jeermanee – Hamburg, Hummel, Hummel!
Mors, mors!
Wot a naice surprise, JAJEH! Happi 2 here it. Have u ebber been to Hamburg? It’s a naice place iffn u are nawt keen awn mountins and like wind and water and sailing. Mai momcat came frum ebben furver up Noarth, close 2 teh daynish boarder. Ai am bery mush a northerner and ai lubs teh seaside.
An der Alster, an die Elbe, an der Bihl….ur sumpin liek dat, ai tink….
We vizited about 26 yeers ago, an I remember taking bote ride on deh Alster Zee…an eeting eels bai deh port, an goin heer n der, an tu church whare mommy kat was baptized, and trai tu find ware her houze was, den we met her cuzzin hu sed it was gone, and we walk around and it was berry berry nyce!
I thinx I haz a kitteh frum IKEA too… she twistz liek pretzels alla time!
My Kepone does dis position too, she forgets her spine. I tell her, don’t be zooming thru teh house witout it!
oh yay, i wuz waytin for anovver ikea kitteh lol so i culd share dis linky. funnyist fing i ever reeded abowt ikea.
http://www.lightrefreshmentsserved.com/2008/08/16/the-irish-in-ikea/
(hope linky wurks. still not so gud at postin links)
Oh datz funnee.
i neber ben 2 ikea. 
i nebber been, eever. my mommeh luvs taht playse, my hubby bin tehre, finks its skary.
i liked teh pikshur ob poor james joyse ponderin teh qwestun ob allen wrenches.
“dont say i didnt told u so!!! da manual iz fur reading, nawt fur throwing in ur fire place!!”
Ur atda ting u tryin put tugedder – mebbe dats wen it got awl bent!
pleh…Weird Pretzel duzn’t want tew poast mai poasts. Ai gibs upfi.
(but serimouse-ly, I kwit.)
well…. i fink wierd press eets our commints fur breakfast, lunch and dinner!!
and ‘parentlee pretzels kittehs to- as demonsterated bai teh pic.
Wait!!!! U gibs upfi … wot? Wot? Wot does ai get? GIMME GIMME GIMME
Tihs marmulkittoon iz verii ajyle!
oh noes!
i can haz warantee?
plz?
plz?!
Kitteh gaut bent in packaging and shipping. Purrhaps ken be straightened out berree gentlee, an u hardlee eeben notice deh damach.
Dis perfek spot fer sleepin
LOL i luv it, i frekin love it
awwww i needz a photshop lesson
That’s me and my cat Titus in the photo, and there’s no Photoshop. He’s just a kitten who likes to sleep in odd positions:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/markstos/2792650167/
Is awsum.
He’s byoootimus!!! WANT!!1!!
kafleen, ai traied teh Command-P thing (Mac ekwal uv Option-P?) to surch foar poasts, but teh Mac Command-P brings upfi a Print dialog boks.
Seams tehre’s noa wai foar mi to surch foar poasts, an’ ai’ll prolly forget ware ai put tihs wun, eben. 
wat a byootiful kitteh!!
WANT!!
Ohai, Mark. Your kitteh is gorgeous! I am partial to the orange ones.
I especially like the photo on your Flickr account of Titus’s tiny head sleeping on your shoulder.
Your kitteh is full of win and awsum! He is absolutely gorgeous! Congrats to you on getting this picture on ICHC!
Berry lubblee yoga kitteh – n concatchulashuns on makin tu front paege.
BTW – did u gets him frum IKEA?
Wiv sinseerest apolologies 2 — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
“How mush doo ai luvs ICHC? Letz meh cownt teh wayz.
Ai luvs it 2 teh depf an bredf an heit
Mai sowl kan reech, wen feline outa site
Fur teh endz uv Bean an ideel Graze.
Ai luvs it 2 teh lebel uv ebery daze
Mostz kwiet needz, bai son an candlollite.
Ai luvs it freely, az menz strivez fur Rite:
Ai luvs it purrrly, az dey trrn frum Praize.
Ai luvs it wiv a pazzion putz 2 uze
In mai owld griefz, an wiv mai kittenhuds faif.
Ai luvs it wiv a luv ai seemed 2 loze
Wif mai lostz saintz, — Ai luvs it wiv teh bref,
Siols, teerz, ob allz mai laif! — an, if CC chooz,
Ai shall butz luv it (an alla teh cheezpeeps) bettur affer def.”
*kwiet klapping uv floofy paws*
fangs u berry mush …
Titus, the cat in the photo, died last night after being struck by a car in front of our house. He was about 6 months old. At least he got to be on icanhascheezburger.com once.
Rest in peace, Titus.