tollbooth kitteh
tollbooth kitteh accepts cheezburgrz as payment
and da cheezburger betteh b cooked well done.
picture: Sheepoodle. lol caption: christiatric
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Cheezburger Network Blog
toll houwse cookees gud, too
…toll chrg elebenty cookees.
eckzact munnies, onlee. kittehz got no pose able fumbs to ccownt chnj, ya’no.
ai thot kitteh awwayz kep ur chaynj?
Jus like kidlets…”wherez de change frum the $20?” “Uh. I spent it awl…”
nuther reezin 2 bee happeh dat ai dun has kidlets. mai kittehs dun maek chaynj dizmappeer.
wut duz dey doo wif awl dat chaynj, eenywaez?
Dat’s nawt change, toll pryses went up, y’know.
oh. infLOLshun.
yesh, ob corz dey doo keepz teh chnj,
adn if you gib dem a munnee paperbill wich can haz too larj amownt, dey pointyend at teh sine dat sez, “XAKT MUNNEEZ ON LEE” adn shrug, putz teh xtra munnees in tehre fabrite charitee contayner on teh cownter:
“cheezbrgr fund fr hongree kittehz”
“Does anybody have a cheezburger? Shoot. Someone’s gotta go back and get a $#!%load of cheezbugers!”
sumfin (prolly teh kwotashun marx- i aer obsurbant) tellz me datz a ref, but i no can ree cog nice it. hintz?
Hint: “Teh sheriff is near.”
harrumph, harrumph
ah. googul iz my fwend. i nebber saw dat flim, my gapz in popyulur kulchure o teh 7o’s lemme sho you it.
LCB – I toll-ed yew to come pre-parred….sheesh.
I hadded a hole big bag of cheezburgers when we started, but something happened to them.
*wipes cheezburger crumbs from mouth*
Fyne…*turns lol-mo-beel around and goes back*….dis tyme I hold teh toll-burgers….
But if ur holding teh burgers, who’s holding teh stirring wheel?
*Missy and LCB look at each other, then look at teh road ahed as teh lol-mo-beel careens outta control.*
Missy and LCB: AAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!1!
oh nooooooooooooeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
*looks at LCB, weekly*
uze my sell-fone….call nine-elebenty…get the fyremens!
*passes out*
Drat, no signal. Whut should I does?
*goes thru Missy’s pokkets while trying to think of something to do.*
*seez a crashed lolmobile, seez lolcatburglar inside, adn knows wat tu do. He cawls teh fyremin, teh YNG adn teh cheezburger delibery furm.*
*wakes up, finds LCB is gone*
LCB! LCB – ware are yew?!
*reelizes may things are missing*
Missing my….
Art partfolio
Braw
Cheezburger
Dignitee
F….
Floofy underpants
Greenshoes
Helicopter beenie
I…
Ipawed
Jooleree
Ketchup
Long Hare
M…
Injunooty
Jammies
Klodike gold
L…
International visa
Jingle bell
Keys for the house and car
License for driving
Magnifying glass
N….
Nom in nation paperwerk fr teh PrezzieCampain
Oarz fr teh boat -oh, no!
Purrsonal effex
Qwick wit
Rolex (wif diamends)
Snakes fum teh plain
T…
LCB eben tookted teh letter E!
Telephone
Under pants
Video player
Wallet(YIKS!)
X…
xtra munnies for teh toll
YNG
Zydeco CDs
Well, I had to! I tried to buy a vowel, but do u knoes how many moneys they want for one? Two hunnert and fitty dollars!
*passes ober to LCB cwisp new current sea munnees
just outta da pritnerout o teh ATM*hmmm… so u “borrowed it frum us LCB??
Oooh! Nice work on these. You got President Goldwater’s image on there perfectly.
Oh, Mr. Sajak, I is reddy to buy some vowels from u now!
Yes, Hashim. But I’ll pay u back when I cash in my T-bills. I can get change for some of teh Ts and that will include some Es if I ask for them.
no, itz fine, u keep it!!
i willz ask CC to get sum money!
*O CC, grant meh sum money! pweaze!!*
*hearz sound of thunder*
itz raining?… MONEY??!?!
YAY!!
*digz in da money!*
YIPPEE!!
Hold on a second.
*inspects a money*
These are from sweetpea’s
printerwallet. U better be teh careful whare u spends them.U also might want to wait until they’re dry.
why r da moneyz wet?? they luk liek!? o wait…
well they was out in teh rain, wuzzn’t they?
noez, i meant it waz raining money!!
Haolp! Mai greneshuz iz mising!
Dey wuz rite dere bai mai bed nd naow iz gon. Wen sumbuddee caimed intu mai haose?
harrumph
*nekkid dansdansdans*
*Ly shakes her thang*
I can has Maus’s Zippo!
*examines Zippo*
Whee!
wacha gunna do wid dat, hmmmmmm?????
*whispurs- r ya gunna set sumfin awn fyre? huh? r ya, r* ya?
Ai mite. Ai dunnoes.
*nekkid dansdansdans*
*Ly shakes her thang*
*luks fer sumfin to set on fyr*
Dey shall nawt pass iffn dey doan pai
Freewah of luff…yer doin it rong.
Happy cat guards de pass!
duz kitteh awlzo asept sushi rowlz? aaaaahhhhh, nao ai wants sushi! WANT!
Russian blue-kitteh gards teh mudderland.
Za Rodina!!! (oar sumfin liek dat)
Insert Soviet Russia joke here:
In Soviet Russia, fly swats YOU!
that is a possibility with the chernobyl flies.
das vadanya Rodina
“Help me. Please…, help me.”
“The Fly ref… FTW!!! Sew funni wit Vinsent Pryces liddle hed onna fly…:snerk:
wai’z dis pikshoor nawt awwayz shauwin up awn teh howmpaeg? iz it dooin dat fur ennywun elz, r iz mai werk puter bein stoopid aigenz?
neba mynd, iz werkin otay nao. dunno wtf wuz goin awn.
All I has is this can of sammon, sir…ok i wont tell eether.
Kthxbai!
*zoooom*
State DMV now issuing Cheezburger Pass
Dispenses cheezburgers without you having to get out of your car
Tollbooth kittehs donut like that new program. Too much red tape to get signed up.
Lookit teh pore tollbooth kitteh wif all teh bald patches on his coat from where teh red tape got stucked and pulle out his furs!
no cheezburger, no entry, kapeesh?
uhohes! iz dis kitteh in da meowfia?
dier iz kitteh mafia!? o noez..
Somehow, ‘Mac the knife’ had a better ring to it.
Dollars were soo yesterday!! now we taek cheezburgerz!!
*vois of annowncer on teh raydiyo*
and in todae’s whirrled eknomony updaet: traderz in current sea marketz aer dumpin dollarz fr cheezbrgrs in an effort to cheer up teh deprest whirled market. “i haz a feline dat the whirrled ekoNomy is going to h3ll in teh proberbeeyal hand bakset” a nunidentifyed sorcerer who lubz to hear himz own voiz is kwoted az “just sayin”.
.
nex tup on Whirrled Noose: Rumorz o Catnip shortj iz causing run on Nips ‘r Us, organik pet fud stoars. Updaet at Elebentee.
gud one sweetpea!!
Oteh, ebberibuddi! Hashim an I am settin awl ob yer clothez own fyr!
*steelz clothez off cheezpeeps*
*gadders clothez into big pyle*
*nekkid dansdansdans*
*Ly dans arownd, porin liter flooid own awl teh clothez*
*Ly shakes her thang*
*Makes sher no cheezpeeps am in teh clothez*
*lites Zippo, howlds to clothez*
*WHOOMPF!*
Wow… bonfyr!
Yu lite teh odder sied, Hashim!
*Hands Zippo to Hashim*
*nekkid dansdansdans*
*Ly shakes her thang*
just bewahre deh exploshions…Chessie has tummy upsets with lots of…um…flamabile air…
Chessie puts teh blaze in Blazin Sadduls…..
WOW!!!
i can burn clothez??
*tooks a whole bukkit of oil(note: nawt a bloo bukkit)*
*sets all da pile of clothes on fire and laughs ebilly!! *
*MUHAHAHAHHAHAHA!! cough cough!*
*nawt eben an ash iz left!*
fanks fur da oppurrtunity Lyanthya!!
Yer welkum, Hashim!
*nekkid dansdansdans*
Nao EBBERIWUN am nekkid!
*Ly shakes her thang*
so… u mean eberyone doez da nekkid dance?!
No, some of us is taking picshurs.
*wonders why her camra just requested a blindfold*
uhmm…hmmm…PIKSHURES!!??
*runz toward home at elebenty Miles per sekund*
*cumz back at cheezland at elebenty Miles per sekund*
*iz naow wearing clothes*
i fink i shouldnt tell Lyanthya bout dis or she’d steal mah clothez and burn em!!!
ai finkso you ought tew wait till yer 18!! *gets blindfold an puts in on Hashim*
um, yeh, i finkso we dont want teh underaje cheezpeeps gettin teihr morulz coruptimated or nuffin… teh over-aje cheezpeeps, itz too late
nomex, never leave home without it.
*crack-tinkle* oops, sry about the camera lens. Could’a warned ya iffen I’d knoed in time.
yeah!
*nekkid dansdansdans*
*lindykat shakes her thang*
Noe xcyuses nao!
Wow! My Zippo has finally been used for a good purpose!
See, you should trust me with these things.
err, umm, Ly … itz pawsible that the zippo may be renudn .. redone … rundandu… like teh nawt-first thing doing the same thing as the otter thing wuz alreddy doing. yer nekkiddansing has raiseded teh termperachoor danjerusly high. nawt that there’s anything rong with that. jest sayin.
I have the solution for the temp, Prof!
*Gets out The Seltzer Bottle*
*Sprays Ly and all the other nekkid dansers*
*The seltzer bursts into steam*
See?
So… the seltzer bottle can also be used for good… Wow!
What about this cream pie, Ly?
very helpful, maus. better sprayz the awn-lukers too. tempachure’s ryzing, and teh jukebox blowin teh fyooz …
*Secretly fills Maus’ seltzer bottle with kerosene*
*Hands it to Maus*
Here, my brother. Use this one…
has yoo guiz never heard uv a presshure cooker??
gud thing I has my FRUs on…..
iz therre an EZ pass for dis gate?
(Richmond Cheezfrends understands)
It’s a CH-EZ pass in Cheezland.
its not E-Z bein CH-EZ.
hmmm… stoopy qweshun coming rite up!!
E-Z as in easy??
*Nods*
U c, we here in teh amerikka is teh
lazyefficient. Y use 4 hole letters when 2 work just as well?it can be confusing for the non-US peeps. When an english or european group comes in such must be taken into consideration. “What on earth does EE ZED mean?” (actual overheard conversation)
Um, is I stoopy if I duzzn’t know wut it means eether?
it’s the way the alphabet is sounded out. Aee, Bee, Cee,….X= ecks, Y=why, Z-zee. Englanders and Euro peeps end it a bit different, for example Z-zed, W can be double V, Y can be igrek, so on and so forth.
I mented, teh EE ZED thing.
Wut do it mean?
sry, when we see EZ, it would sound eezee for easy. For this guy (pet shop boys peep if memory servs) it sounded ee zed, which made no sense for the lad.
*the lite dawns*
Oh, like: EE Z’ED?
Sowry. I thot maybee there wuz some secret code I wuz missin.
And me wiffout my sekrit decoder ring!
Chek yoo-noe-whose pokkits…
Or fher gb qevax lbhe Binygvar!
Cyru. Pna’g V unf Arfgyr’f Xjvx vafgrnq?
Lhz – Binygvar! Qb jnag!
Lbh pna unf zvar. Ohg V trgf gb unir lbhe penpxre wnpx cevmr.
*fangpu*
Fvyyru! Xjvx vf sbe xvqf!
ur ur. Vg jnf bayl n fvyyl cynfgvp qbt.
ab qng’f Gevk!!
Nalguvat pubxyvg vf sbe HF!
CF- V yrsgrq h n zrffntr orybj nobhg gru xvggruf.
oh! nawt jus’ merica! da whole whirlled uses da
lazyefficent way!!ok cheezpeepz!
tiem for meh to snooze liek a kitteh… *THUD!!*
*zzZZZzzZzzzzZZz*
hi ebreeboddy! heerz teh burfday fairy (liddle late cawz i hadto crawl arownd under teh carseets to find teh eggzakt chaynj for teh tollboof) wishin a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to all teh cheezfrenz, lolfrenz, lurkurz an trolz hoo haz tehmz burfdays today!! heer iz hommaed caeks wif sparklers for kandls, frootyfizzy punch, an pointy party hats for ebreewun! an konfettiz!! (kinda re sy cold frum yesturday kawz i’z still a liddle splorted frum teh sweet burdy an kittey pikshure)
♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ §♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ §♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ §♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ §♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ § ♥ « ♫♪ ¤ ☼ » ♫ ß ♥ ~ ♪♪ ¤ ☺ ₪ §
Du u tink wi shud hab a spesheal burfday fur da lurkers n trolls. (Notz da same day!! Diffrunt dayz. Wun fur lurkers, wun fur trolls.)
Da lurker burfday mite getz sum uv dem tu cum owt uv hydin.
Fur da troll burfday wi cud tink uv sum reelee gud prezents n sellybrasuns, aifinkso! Butz ai betz no trolls wud cum.
DK- I tries to put the rest of teh story I cudn’t post earlier:
The kittehs has been sniffin under the door alreddy for a coupla weeks, so I started teh introductions Friday. Thelma will come in Gummi’s room and eet her fuds, hiss at her maybee, and then leeve. They almost fited Sat but fankfully they bof backed down. It seems ok as long as Gummi stays in her room. But if she tries to come out, Thelma chases her back in.
Is this tippikul? Any ad vices?
(Weezy is just keepin hur distanse.)
Sounds like they’re doing great! You could take Gummi out of her room and put Thelma (and Weezy, if she’s up to it) in and let them thoroughly check out Gummi’s smell. You could also put Gummi in a cat carrier and leave her in the room.
Two of mine still tussle after being in the same house for several years. Usually the calico lords it over the big white boy, but sometimes the boy will get fed up and chase the calico around the house!
BTW, doncha just love “fangpu”?!?
See my yoose of ‘fangpu’ on the next lol!
I tried putting Gummi in teh carrier, but she panics when I do that so that’s out.
Chase, hiss, ok… but do they ackshully FITE? Wif claws and the big noise… ROWRRR!!?
Nuthin but BURRITOES fur tihs Purrito!
no, dat wud be teh border patrol kitteh.
They eats burritos in teh VLC?
onlee if tehy can smuggle them ober.
And it’s hard, u put one of those down ur pants, it makes an awful mess.
On teh other hand, the border gards ushually leeve u alone when they sees that.
dunno but i liekz da pronounciashun of da wurd ’smuggle’
SMUGGLE SMUGGLE SMUGGLE!!!
MWHHAHAHA!! *cough cough!*
LOLbooth kitteh, surely.
No cheeseburgers…I put parking lot dings in ur ride
uhhh, Ly….plez tu nawt burn up mai shooz? Ai donut cares abowt nuffin clothes-wise, but Ai has teh biggest feets, and shooz be hard tu fine wen yu gots size 10’s wif teh AAA width…Ai lubs mai SHOOZ….. heer..Ai tayk dem awf, yu cans torch teh rest….FOOOF sez Zippo…..
turtlol duz nekkid danse, but berry gentlee so as tu nawt hurt bak again….
(slo danzing….luks funnee…..)
depends on how it is done. I mentioned a bellydancer a few days? ago. The most erotic and sensual thing I’ve witnessed, and she was clothed.
ohai, StaygHanDan…. geez, sumwun towld me dat teh belliedansing mite axually halp mai bad bak…. Ai shood luk intu dis, Ai finks. Rite naow, Ai doing gud just to be abul tu walk wifowt luking lyke Groucho Marx….
and no riding uv teh motersykel, eider…and dat’s NAWT so grate, axually…
but Ai let yu noes abowt teh belliedansing… maebee dat’s teh tikkit?
we shall see….. hmmm, naow wut becamed uv mai shooz….
follow teh smoke….AAAGGGGHHH NOE!!!
nawt mai Jimmie Chooz!!!!!
I hear ya about the lack of scooter. When having to abstain from my bronze dragon due to doctors orders in regard to kidney stones the withdrawal symptoms were horrendus.
Haha, best laughs today
Rd lite! gren lite! yelo lite! wat abot cickin fingaz wiscaz?!