gitz back
gitz back i haz a fierce
u do nawt wantz a pees of mai fierceness.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: figlioitalia
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an ai can byte
an skratsh
Ai has a nouns meant tu … erm… nouns.
*Ahem*
Mai kitteh Nando (“Ferdinando teh littlest Commando” in his yunger rampayjin arownd daze) had teh surjury on hims chinny-chin-chin. He hadda growy fing growing there, anna vet sed it cud be a prollem onna kitteh, whilst mite nawt wurry abowt it onna goggie. Surjury went fine, he caim hoam with teh stiches and awl messy-like. Him looked like him wuz wearing a red cravat. Ewwww.
Tehn he runned awai!
Mai skweeze and ai ran awl obur the nay burr hood putting up teh sines wif hims picher and informayshun. And teh nay burrs wuz sew frendlee and sed tehy wud look owt foar him.
Tehn he caim hoam! Yippee!!!1!1!!!!
And mai skweeze and ai went arownd taking doun teh sines, adn evin MOAR nay burrs asked abowt him. AND we got free fone cawls form nay burrs askin abowt hims! It wuz awlmoast like teh nay burrs wuz awl cheezfrends! Egg sept they didn nawt rap me in floofy blankies oar hand me refreshing beveridges But ai is the Happitayle tudai!
Ai is happi fur u. Heer, haz dis birchuul flooffy blankit!
so Anni, congrats on beetin me owt as yooshual
and got enny speshul rekwest for drinks?
Dis kitteh wud prolly like milk, ifink.
Choklit milk fur us maybee?
Dat sownds gud, thx.
grate!
choklit milk all arownd!
And if u is allergick to choklit, no worries… we’ll drink it for u!
I bet ur Nando is glad 2 b hoam!
Yays, I iz happy fur u!
Oh, Anukki! That’s wundermaus! Hao grayt that yoo wint lukkin fur a lost kitteh and fownd not just heem but a bunch of kitteh-luvvin peeps. Yoo is twyce blesst!
Yay! We links paws an does teh dantz uv joi!
And hands owt eggstra CHRGs bekaws this liddel kyootie is gonne mayk it a bizzee day fur teh CCC!
duzn’t chew jest lub a storee wif a happytail ending? Fanx fr teh sharon of the storree, Anukkkie!
*grabz grmemlin’z pawz & joynz da haappi jigg*
Yay, MaryO dantzes wif meh! We luvs teh happeh endings, when teh kitteh coems hoem, or teh medikal tests or procedures goes well, when gud triumphs over bad, and when troo luv finds its way.
well sed, well sed…
Ai’m a cat,
Ai’m a kitteh cat!
Adn ai dantz dantz dantz,
adn ai dantz dantz dantz!
Whee! Tihs is teh fun! But mai pawses is slipping furm teh whirlingness of it awl!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG71klJSPPI
Bcos yu carnt see it too mennee tyms!
Ai NEW sumwun wud have it, alawng with teh teckno… techno… smartz tu put it heere. Fankoo Ambercat!
EARWURM!!!! *insert SNAAAAAKE lol heer*
badjur badjur badjur badjur…..
Ai figgured a uzw fur eerwurms – dey ken block out toughts u don wanna hav.
The lesson to be learned: keep your cats in, especially after they’ve just come home from the vet after surgery.
Hav u ever had bebbeh kitteh? Dey can be liek greezed litnin’ outdedoor ifinkso!
Oh oh oh luvscats! I need to talk tew u! Can I find u awn teh Yahoo Cheezfrenz groop?
Yep- Ai am dere but ushully quiet- ai kant keep up wif de posts!
Anom!
Ai lurve mai cheezpeeps, but wud need 3 extra daezaweek tew keep up wif tehm awl.
{{{hedbonks tew teh peepLs}}}
I nose wut U meens!!
ii’s onlee hear part-tyme, and “teh faster ii go, teh moar ii gits B-hind!” Bood to sea U, smofm!
O hai, ZF! wii bin kneeding a nyce sweet/magikal floot lyke U laytlee!
ain’t it da troof. dey can haz teh amayzin cleverzness win day wantz to get aways.
O hai, mawwy O! Wuz finking ’bout U L8lee!
I am kerful, butt my old Tabby hoo wuz a stray am toooo wiley to stay in awlways. Teh noo teeny-tiney siblings donut noo outsyde…
yesh, tiny catz kuute, butt win dew dey larn 2 meeow? my kittehz onlee sqeek and beap!
good kweschun.
mye lil ornj kitteh Pumpkin nebber lernt to meow in 20 years- she jest kinda skwawked. She can hadz teh pretty purrrrrrrrrrrr tho, speshullee if herz hyoomin (moi) wuz upset.
Anukki, I haz a happitayle foar ur happitayle!
ohai ZF, I has mist u latelee!
How is Caretroll?
Ohai Leeza! I can haz
a dreem bowt caretroll lass nite, but I haz fergetted it. Ya, I been doing ketchup wif ovver fings. Spended tew mush tyme heer (noez, “uzeded up tew mush tyme heer”) an sew havta go bakk to IRL, yuk.
*waves acrost state linez to ZF from NC*
dat is silleh! ur burfdais a long way off!
but hay! u has a half-burfdai comin up!
Ur rite
I sillybraytez it bai tellin mai sisster Happitayle Burfdai…..
Dis is da Happitale. Hurray for findin youz kitteh an for doin such gud searchin. But no gushy fuds for yur kitteh for da dai for runnin away an skarin eberybuddy like dat. Iz very glad him iz home and better from his growy thingy. Hoooray for Nando and himz hoomins!
On da dai before lolday, yuz made eberybuddy happee.
{{{{{Anukki & Skweez}}}}}
Aw, shuks. Waht is tihs moysh-chur in mai aize?
Fankoo annipuss, foar teh blankie.
An grattytude tu leeza-b foar teh chonklit milk (Nando lieks his reggiler milk, Ifinkso.)
gremlin, ai dantz in a wikkid fashun with linkded paws inna dantz uv joi.
zauberflolute, fankoo foar teh happitayle.
Mingcat – ai gree taht teh kittehs shut stai insied after teh surjury. Come tell him! He sneeked owt teh new goggie-dore taht teh goggies hadn’t eben figgered owt how tu uze yet! Taht has bin fixded sints.
Fankoo, fankoo, fankoo!
Happi happi joi, joi, Annukki!
Deh return ubda Purrdigal Kitteh! Happytayl fur u an ebbryone!
ai SEW happitayl dat yur liddle boi camed bak hom sayf an’ sownd! ai alsew hadz teh kitteh runawai adn com hom a kupla dais laytr, sew wii shul *danse danse danse adn ai danse danse danse* tewgever!
GRATE NEWBS!!!!!! AI IZ SEW HAPPY FUR U!!!!!!! {{{{{HAPPITAYLE}}}}}
Oh my gudness, Anukki!
.
U must hab been wurried sik. U had enuff wurry wif him habin teh operashun, den he runs awai? Bad liddle Nando. We said dat affer ur surgery u cud hab all teh ice skreem u wanted. NAWT, maek ur Mama skreem like u wanted!
.
Nao, u b a gud liddle boy, and b nice to ur Mama. She lubs u and u habs to act like u lub her, too. *whispers* I kno u reely lub ur Mama, butts iz hard fur a liddle boy to say dose fings wen ur a baby Commando. U hab an image to protekt.
.
Nando, u gets a 5 minute time owt. Den, u habs to spend teh rest of teh day close to ur Mama and showing ur lub.
.
I lub happeh endings.
O hai, Romeow! ai hassa wite-kat storee 4 U! A loveloly white-creemy male kitteh hangs owt neer teh horsepital wear my momakat is inkarsir-8-ed. Every nite I pets him and brings him fuds. He is berry durty (esp. his eerz!), butt still beeutyful in his witeness and BLOO ii’S! He purrs and is frenly,–wood mayke a good pet, aifinkso! I fond a playse heer that will nooter strays 4 free, and I B taking hymn there tomorow a.m.! Ai is so hexsighted 2 git him reddy 4 a 4-ever hoam. white cats R sooo purrty!
Anukki, so gladz yur bebbeh camed hoam, & that naybors so gudz!
Hart-warmingz iz gud!
Datz a gud storee! Yippie for the kitteh comin’ hoem, and for frendlee nay burrs.
I has a happee!
Yayyy!! Fer Kitteh cummin hoam
Kitteh Nando noes yoo wuz onlee helpings him be bedders an nawt hav a nastee onna chin.
{{{{{Anukki an Nando}}}}}
Anukki…I am sorry yur bebbeh runned off….fank gudness he comed bak! You take gud kare of him fur us, kai? Gif him a liddle sqwidge for me!
So happy da behbe came hme. Had less happy story; will not share, but your neghbrs nice!
Scritch da kitteh for me.
Soe happee tayle foar yuu taht Nando caime hoem awlrite!!!!
Weez wil duu a dans ov joi foar yuu adn yuur bebbeh;
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
me tew, ai berry happi dat liddl Nando iz bak saef. Hoap himz gets bedder suun.
.
Anukki, hao grate to knoe dat yur nayburz lubs kittehs tuu!!
.
((((((Anukki))))))
.
jentl skritchez fur Nando
Anukki, tanks fer sharin yer happitayl storee!
Mayks mee liek hyoomanz (moar tahn yooshual).
O ii B sooo glad 4 yoo, Anukki!!! Pore littlol kitteh is luky 2 has teh sergory hims kneeds, an sew menny lovely loving volks! (U live in TTI?)
anukki, i iz so glad yor kitteh camed home an teh story haz teh happy ending. they do make us wurry sumtimes, dont tehy. tell him not to be teh notty kitteh any more! just teh gud kitteh!!
Awl’s whale taht ends whale. And Nando is a whale of a kitteh. I hoaldz him and lurves him and cawls him jorj.
Fankoo evverbawdy. Fankoo.
itz all abowt cattitude, dude!
and I has it!
Evvery dai iz caterday 4 mii—
bring mii my cheezburgers, hewmon!
Ore feel teh rath ob my needlol-sharp poynty endz!
RAAAAWWWWRRRR!!!!
And…
SPLORRRRTTTT!
Skreeech
Heer’z teh CCC
Sweep up maus’s braynes
scoop dem up an pore dem bakk in himz hedd
pat dem down awl tidy an fastn on a bavin cap and a CHRG(wdoi)
Secyoor wiv ducky taep.
Hand Maus a hot choklit an a flooffy blankit.
Der. Rest a bit.
Fanks. I hoeps teh braynes didunt gets all mixded up liek last thyme…
Oh, an cud I has sum Scotch frum the CCC ’sted ov hawt chawklit?
I jus finushed a meeting wif a Stoopy Soot. Pleh…
In dat caes, u’d bedder haz a dubble skotch!
nah. He can needs teh strong stuffs: Saurian brandy, or somefing Gdreeen frum Scotty’s arsenal.
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster…
Make it a double…
needa gold brick and a twist o’ lemon
Oh Hai, Mais Oui! How is you?
let’z just say i can joyne you in da Galactic Gargle blaster?
Sure. Let’s make a pitcher and veg out…
And we’ll have some Surly Curry to go with it…
i can has spoonerizm to eet wif pleez, to savor ebery dwop?
Sure. Here’s your Fife and Nork. Or do you want Stopchicks?
Oooh, clevernicks! Stopchicks! But hey, Ebil One, thou hast gotten howled of teh wrong abatar! Me finks at leest.
My DID… Let me show you it…
Aaaah. Dat’s moar laik it, oh ebil one!
*happitail cos awl is well*
Me too…
Hai again! Mai taim sense iz awl off, butt if ai may, ai wud laik to joyn yoo in wahtebber tath iz yoo ar drinking!
da gargle blaster is Hitch hikerz Guyd to Galacksy ref,
teh Saurian Brandee/Gdreen frum Star Drek (TOS, later ref by Data in TNG)
oh, and teh Surly Curry ref- go look at his pwofile at da lols/pics. Is spoonerism frum hiz purrfoarmanz. Still makin me giglol.
JANET!!!!1!!!1!! {{{{{{{JPAQC}}}}}}}
Wellkumz bak!
Ifinksew dey b dreenkin Pan Galactic Gargle Blasterz, but unlesh U can haz fyr asteengwisher oar can haz fyrminz neerbai, mebbe U shood dreenk sumfin nawt sew strawng…
…
Wont sum steemee hawt chokklit wif wippee kreem n koko paowdur awn tawp? Mebbe wif sum Bayleez addid?
o hai JCH4K, welkum bak!!! hao iz yu?
HAI, JCH4K!!! Wii rlly mist yoo (no, knot like jermin “mist:!)I sing yoo a sawng: O itz sew nyse 2 B wiff yoo,
wii lurv awl teh fings yoo say an doo,
and itz soo nyce 2 here yoo say,
EVERYFING yoo say!
Kinda luks moar like a “Waaaahhh!!” to me than a ‘RAAAWWWR”
My artistic license, let me show you it…
*takez teh licnence*
*takez magnifikation eye looupe out o pokket*
*examinez teh fine print*
ahem
sir, you seem to be in violation of Sir Tan aspics of dis license.
*diskreet paws, waiting for bribe ifinkso*
in da meenwiletime, we makes a list o violashuns:
.
Altogether too mini shenananaigunz
Berry messy desktop
C…
Charactor ashashinashuns
DID proleaferashuns
Ebil haff orcastrightshuns
F…
Fyrestartingz
Generul Mayhemz
Hawriblee bad punz
I…
Ill-playced punzes
Jokes, off-culler
Kittehnappins
L…
Legerdomainin
Masqwaraidin
Naemcawllin
Orcasraightin Rebellion
Pandamoneyum popularryizin
Qwotation manufatorin
R…
Rawcussly singing at nite
Sexist reemarx
Terreebul titillashuns
U…
Riot Act, reading thereof
Swiping snuggles sneekily
Taking liberties
U…
Udderlee fantastical hyoomor
Verree interesting cuking skillz
Winsum way ov warbling
X. . .
Xtra Curry kyular aktiviteas
YNG
Zippo malfunctionz
Tah dah! yew guise ar grate!
Welcoem hoem Janet! Ai agrii wif teh winsum warbling, but ai wuz finking of Undecent expoezhur!
MaisOui, bee karefull! Ur “Sir Tan” iz gonna show up an wii awl gonna regret it
Can haz tew menny nawt-sekkundz
Duzznt be nyce wif Stoopy Soots
Everyfing unner da sun
F…
Will I do? I am a friend of Sir Tan…
*cue ominous bakgroun myusik of Sir Real lite motif*
Freak went zippo litins
Ginormausly ebil doingz
Hamstur miseyedentifikashuns
I…
Ai am holding on titely to mai lime-green 50’s baving cap wif dukkies on top- need reinforsemints todai!
yoo can has bike helmut.
yoo can has moter-byke helmut—-knot sew holey as teh cycler-hellmunt!
Kitteh’s juz start lukkin atda wurld an naut shur lieks it awltugedder.
Uv corse u can – awl taystes aer caterd fur!
EEYEOOGAH EYEOOGAH!!!
Stand bak fur teh CCC!!
*scoops up Maus’ braynes frum teh flore, scoopy scoopity, pores tehm bak inna hed and pats tehm inna playce, pat pat patticaek pat.
Recubbers CHRG frum across teh room an SNAPS it bak inta playce*
BRIIPPPTTT goes teh dukky taype
*Taypes CHRG bak inna playce an luks around fur 50’s BC*
Ai founded it! *stretchees it onna Maus’ hed an applys moar taype. *Taype taype taypittee taype*
Hears sum chokklit brawnies ai jus maded an sum icy cold milkz tew washes it dwon with.
*Cubbers Maus wit floofy blankie wit dinosawrs onnit*
Feel bedder Maus!
*Through multiple layers of CHRGs and Ducky Tape*
Mrphmumblefrumph!
Duz da CCC carry martoonies for da skared haf to death? Wat a big, scarey kitteh. Why, if him opens himz mouf as far as him can,him mite getz da tip of my littestest finger in himz mouf. I needs a my teddy bear what saves me frum da monsters inna closet to save me frum dis soooo scary itty bitty fearsum kitteh.
Tehre R teh nyn (cownt tehm; NYN!) speshully slekted skotch wiskeries, speshully slekted bai Paws4Thot, for teh skared haff to deffs – but Ai donut amember wut tehy R, an he’s orf-lyn til werk o’clok tomorrow (TTI tym – or, moer pacifically – incy wincy teeny tiny likkle island off skotlandia) but Ai’m shor tehy R verree nys!
u cin haz 20 yr old glenlevitt. good fur every ocasion !
ai know! Ai can find tehm ! Be rite bak!
GMTA Maus! Urs haz moar ledders tho. Moar skareeyer.
RAWR!!
GMTA, but maus wuz lowder!
hay, iz it GMTA/skwared when u dug GTMA at teh same time?
Purrhaps!
I kills u wif de kyoooot!
Lukkie at de toesies!
De widdel earses!
Wild whiskies!
Uh-ohs….
.
Splort!
Ai kno yu carnt AKCHULLY see tehm, but Ai tink we shud sing teh “Pinkee Pinkee Toepad” Sawng, in honner ob LuvB an odder missing Cheezpeeps. Plees to be joynin in, at teh korus:
Pinkee Pinkee Toe pads!
Pinkee Pinkee Toepads!
*wiv teh prances an teh caypers*
Kthxbai!
Rut-roh! *pullz own CHRG(wdoi) tite*
*
*sweepa sweepa sweepa MelONyx’ braynez into a pile*
*scoopa scoopa scoopa teh braynes up & poura poura poura bak intew her hed*
*replaysez teh skull bits
*stretchz bavving cap & CHRG onto MelONyx’ hed*
*tukka tukka tukka MelONyx in unner a sawftee grey blankee wif rainbows (nawt poop) onnit*
*givz befrige uv choice & a choklit oktopuss (wif caramel filling)*
Beddur nao, MelONyx?
Fankoo Nightshayde. I lubs de liddel toesies!
Must. Look. Away.
.
Cawnsuntrayte awn sumfing else.
.
Mmmm. Chokklit. Caramel. Mmmm.
*notices MelONyx on floor looking dazed an very messy*
* sweep sweep pour, tuk tuk sequre*
Heer nyce Mel, has a fresh lemon martuni
* snuggles Mel in a warm cashmere blankie *
Ohh, fank yoo Princess Mu!
*snuggles into blankie*
oh, sawftee
zzzzzz
Leev it, kitteh; hims nawt werf it!
MAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWMMMM!!!!!!
*enraged*
HAO CAN DER BE 14 COMMINTS ALREDDY? I BIN CHECKIN HOMEPAIG EBBERY MINNIT!! GRAAAAAA!!!
muzt….rezist….troll transfurmayshun….dun.
*pats ChocolateSamus on teh hed* Ther ther, grasshopper. Sit bak and lern frum teh masters. Wun day yoo too will be nawt sekkund.
But yoo must be FASTER tahn teh speed uv lite, more fritening than *gigglol* this teeny tiny behbeh kittn, moar powrful than a speeding lokomotif!
ambishunz. i has dem.
Rite u r. Dunt get upset, pleaz. Ai knows hao u feels. Ai feels ur pain, 2. *hedbonk*
Ai cant get a commint in edge oar enny ovva ways.
Ohai Upfi
Grrr!! post wuz tukked afore I finnished it!1 Weerd.
Iz berry hard to get teh nawt sekkunds wen razer sharp minds an wit be poized like a powncin pouncy fing!!
I haz a respek fer dem beein so kwik an clebber
Me,I r slower dan a speedin snail Heehee!!
I salutes dem
*Cheez*
nawt-sekkund commintrs be faztur den lite, ai fink. wen dey iz speeding ‘froo da cyberspayce, da lite partikkulz r liek OMG!!! WUT WUZ DAT???
An den der waz deh purrsun hu didnt see anee commints an sed “Ware IZ ebbrybuddy?!?!?”
OHAI! {{{TIDMUM}}}
Squuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
AI’m going to TTI in September! Happitail!!!
Eeeeeeeeeek!
Ther ther, nightshayde, I seez yoo is skeered . . . by .. . ahem . . . this liddel *luks at pikshor* teenie *luks away, laffin* . . . um, skeery *guffawz into paw* beh-beh kittn. Yoo shor yoor gunna be OK? I think I kin *snikkr* control teh beest *snork, snerkel* until yoo is abel to defend yorself. *dissolves into laffter whyl lukkin away*
Teh bebbeh kitteh is sew bery feeeeerce! *gigglol* Himz mite nik a kyootikul iffin ai getz tew cloas!!!
…
*risks it, getz cloas ennywaiz… *
Ow! *gigglol*
Aiz bleedin — but it wuz wurf it!
oh wow…ai thot yoo wuz skeered ob mai neerly-troll transfurmayshun.
hay cheezpeeps! lets naem awl da wais dat kitteh can fites!
Attaks wiv poyntee ends
Bitez ur nose
Cat-a-pult
D…
Digs fer China…on yer belly!
Elebenty claws iffn ur a polydactyl
Fight club fer kittehs
Grrrrr!
hands u da look ov love till ur heart falls out
instigates the dog
jimmies the gas line on the stove…
Kicks. Chuck Norris Roundhouse style.
Looks at yoo wif kyootnes till ur hed splort.
Maeks sum ’special’ treets fur yoo.
N…
Kewt splode
lol to deth
meezer meow to splink eers
nite ambusch …
Hides under joo blanket an attacks when you goz to sleep
Inches up joo leg one paw at a time
jumps onna belly to knead joo to deaf
Krawls up any skin he caz reach..
L…
Licks ur hed till hair is spiky ’nuff fer weppon
Moons u
Nitrogen secrit weppin
O…
Leevs yu presints in yur shoos
Meows feerclee in teh nite
Nuzzls yu to deth
O…
Orinj Poysins
Porteedos
Quick Attack!
R….
Round ur anklez running after teh other fyte-ee
Singel-piyntee end pikkin
Terribul fish-breff
U…
Umbrella whacks
Violent Actions of all kinds
Waterboarding
X….
Xeroxin himz floofy tushee, sendin in mass e-meow & killin frum a distans wif teh kyootness
YNG – climbin him & um … doin him an injuree (kiwk – cawl teh Paramedikz!)
ZOMCC — hao kyoot kin wun kitten be??!!!???!!!elebenty!!!!!
Ow! I’m bleeding!
When I was a little boy, my YNM (Young Nekkid Mommy) used to kiss it and make it better. Those were the days…
Ai hope she oanlee kisst teh boo-booz in teh non-nawtee areyuhz. Mebbe ai doan wantz tew know.
Iffn yoo culd tell us whar it hurtz . . . um .. . . mebbe sumwun wuld . . .um . . . well, yoo noes . . . mayk it beddur sumhao.
Here… And here too…
*schmooo schmooo schmooo*
This reminds me of right after Masetto gets beat up in DOn GIovanni and Zerlina asks him where it hurts. “Qui, e qui, e un po’ qui.”
Or Indy and Marion in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” in the scene on the freighter.
*&^%#&* it Indy, where duzznt it hurt??
But then he fell asleep on hur….
Is it just me that can see more paws than usual on that cat?
And sorry for not speaking in lolcat, I’m too lazy
I can has arteries?
FTW!!! FTW!!!
aww what a cutie
soo feroshus and snorgulishus
:splort, falls down with a thud
Oh noes! Ur dai – - I musst saves it!
*scoops up awl da braynes*
* duct tapes da hed up*
*gits a blaynkie an wrapps up twokittehs*
*kwiklee sirves hawt chocklitt*
There….yoo shud be fine.
wait a minnit….
*notes vaykint espresshun* O.O
OH NOES!!! Nawt all da braynes iz heer!
WHU CUD HAB TAYKIN TWOKITTEH’S BRAYNES????
WE NEEDS TO FIND DEM FAZT!!!!
Anyone with a motive
Barry White
Cheezburglers
D….
*thinks sum moar*
Demonic forsiz
E.T.
Folkses in Alabama
Goldfishies?
H…..
*graa! hazta hurri! sumbudde halp!*
Hyoomin slayves rebellyun groops
Inuit….peepls
Joker (dat ebil gie!)
Kirstie Allie
L….
Lorenzo Llama
Mikkee Mows
Neil Armstrong
O…
Orinj Maus
)
Papa Jonz (
Quincee Joanz
Red Berrun
S…
Snoopee
Trollz (oohhh, dem trollz)
Uglee trollz (eeben wurse!)
Violint Violin playerz
Winona Jones
Xavier (that one kid in mah class)
Yellowjackets
…
…ZOMBIES. Ob course! ZOMBIES!!!!!!
u gib dose braynes back, zombees!
Hi-yah! Pow!
I GOTZ DA BRAYNES!!!
2kittehs iz saef, and da day iz saved!
but ai cudna dun it wifout da cheezfrenz!
’speshlee gremlin, foar keepin awl da hed-splort viktims alive.
Sry, ChokklitSamus — I fur-gottid 2 rifraish…
Verree uglee trollz (wurserist uv awl)
Willy, Free
Xavier, Perfesser
Yakoff Smirnoff
Zulus
Ak, we haz 2 down! 2 down! Call teh CCC, we needs halp over heer. I stays wit yoo, 2K, till halp arrives. Heer, I holds yor paw.
yoo sayves da dai too, gremlin! whut iz CCC btw? Cheese Cat Crew?
um…wait, dis not rite. dis is ’sposed to be reply. i try ‘gen.
wt…….it iz reply! dis mess wit ma mind!
Itz teh Cyoot Crash Cart!
U can reeds abowt it in teh Lolspeek wiki, I finks.
Repeets proceedure on ChocolateSamus, as below.. finishing wif pale green blankee wif tan stripes, and hawt coco and choklit otters.
Is dat better?
hay waite a minnit.
I fink I fixted sumone hoo didn’t need fixin??
CS, wut did u do if teh rest of 2K’s branes?
THINK!
LET’S FIND HOO TOOK DA BRAYNES!!! SEE ABUV!!!
Heers sum braynes I fouwnd inna boddle. Part of teh labul is missin. It sez Abby sumpfin…
If Igor gaev u taht boddle, bedder nawt uze it…
Abra Cadabra? No wants majishun braynes!! whu cud hab takin da braynes…
Abby Normal.
luks weakly at gremlin
fanks gremlin
where iz all mah braynes
something is amiss
OMCCWTFBBQ!!!!
WANT!!!! WANT!!!!
SSSSPPPLLLOOOORRRRTTTTT!!!!!
An anudder wun! We needs dubbel splorts procedure! DUZ ENNYWUN NO TEH PROCEDURE! rhsb, I holds yor paw wit mah uther paw till teh CCC gitz heer.
1. Scoopup branes
2. put back on hed
3. put on CHRG(wdoi) and rap wif ducky tape
4. rap splortee in sawft blanket and administur choklit
Dats about it, rite?
But I fink rhsb mite need a snorgle wif dis babbeh too.
*hands babbeh to rhsb*
Hold ontu ur CHRG tite now!!
Nooooo!! Babbehs is too cyoot! Seeryus daynjer ob furver splorting – heer, taek tihs choklit possum insted; cumfort, wivowt cyoot!
**puts paw ober Ambercat’s mouf**
NO lissen 2 hur! Ai NEEDZ 2 hold teh bebbeh! Iz been furrevver sinse ai holded a furry bebbeh!
*quickly hands rhsb a fuury bebbeh 2 hold jest 4 herself*
Jojo wazza kitteh hoo thot he wazza tiggar
Butt he knu et cudunt lasst
Jojo leff hez hoam n Twosun, Arrayzona
4 sum Jungul fury Sass
Git bak, git bak
Git bak tew wear yoo 111s B long
Git bak Jojo. Gho ome
Git bak, git bak.
Git bak tew wear yoo 111s B long
Git bak Jo
sweet loretta kitteh
thot she wuz a tiggr
but she wuz a QT pi…
I thot “Q T π” wuz uh suhroarittee oar sumfin…
:-p
… N dat suhroarittee b seesturz uv da fraturnittee “Tappa Kegga Broo”
Ai kin heer teh little hi-pitched Mew nao!
Did ai ebber tayle ya’ll dat ai can do a purrfeck imitashun ov dat sownd? I has freeked some kittehs owt wehn ai diddit in tehyre presense.
Ohai rhsb!! *hedbonk* I speek pidjin Meeze! Lernded frum a reel Meezer, an nao talkz it tew mai half-meezer an alla ovver kittehz I haz had. Wii haz kwite teh conbersayshunz
Ai can speek Pinny Gig! Ai has laaaaaaaaaaaawng combermasayshuns wiv mai pigs, but Ai has no eye deer wut we is torkin abowt!
Ai can do teh pinny gig skweel. Ai lernded it bai lissenin 2 mai frenz pinny gig.
Mai mahm can do awll sorts ov sowndz. Ai callz hur teh hoomin sownd masheen.
Mah Skimble awlwaiz kumz into teh kitchen to talk to himz Mama. Wii haz kwite teh conversayshunz tew even if ai doan noe wud dey iz abowt.
Nightshayde – Ai luuked at ur pikshurs. Ur kittehs r gorjis!
Ebberybodee heer has teh moas beautimus kittehs! But tehn agin, r dere enny uglee kittehs?
Fanks, rhsb! Ai ree-uh-lized dat ai duzzint haz pikshurs uv Tyler up dere. Himz teh Alpha male. Gud fing himz nawt pyooter literate oar himz mite haz discubberd teh obersite awlreddy.
Did ennywun notiss hao teh whyt fuzz on himz fayce is plasterd bak over teh blak fuzz on teh tawp uv his hed? Itz lyke he’s so liddel his fuzz duzzint haz enuff room an haz to overlap to fit. And the paw pads ar so kleen an noo an fresh, they arnt evn PINK, theyr sorta whyt. But teh spirit, yes, teh spirit uv lyfe runs strong in this liddel wun . . .
Maybe himz hoomin been likin himz furs to calm himz fierce?
“Bathtub owrs nao, go likk urself”
Nonononononononono that came owt all rong! “Bafftub owrs nao, uze ur tongue” iz moar polyte-like.
I think you had it right the first time…
prolly never get outta the house……..
*snerk*
Ifinksew U beddur moov uhlawng 2 da noo improovded Nottee Barn naow…
ROFLPIMP!! elebenty!!!! …….
why my backs feets up by my fronts feets?
Cauz I is an itteh bitteh aerobiks instruktor! Wun too, wun too!
I is feerse!!
I is skaree!!
Nevur mine that I wobbul when I wawk!!
I is wile aminal!! I is — um, panfur!! Or leppurd!! Or — or — sumfin else big and bitey!!
Feer mah pointy enz!!
AN KWIT CALLIN ME KYOOT!!!!!
Dats rite. no moar hed splorts for j00!
WIN fur Duffy!
LOL!!!! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
scarrrry kitteee
SAVIN TEH WURRULD — WAN KITTOON ATTA TYME
This is by far one of the cutest lolz ever!!!
{{thunk}}
Neber 2 reegayn conshisniss.
*sumbuddy caul 911!!1! kwick!!1!
Some total asshole abandoned a little kitty that later became my Rosie — and she is very happy today, thank you. But back then she was a little thing mewing in the corner of an old shed. I picked her up, she bit the shit our of my thumb, then proceeded to lick the blood and purr. It was a bonding experience for us.
It sounds like ur Rosie was a thumbpire.
Glad she is teh happy today.
thumbsucking. Rosie duz it feerce.
get back!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly07GWoK9aY
I b spryzded dat U nawt naym herz Awdree 2…
…
“I’ve tried you at levels of moisture
From desert to mud.
I’ve given you grow-lights
And mineral supplements.
What do you want from me? Blood?
(Ouch! Darn roses! Darn thorns!)
…
I’ve given you sunlight.
I’ve given you rain.
It seems you’re not happy,
‘Less I open a vein.
I’ll give you a few drops
If that’ll appease.
Now please
– oh, oh, oh please
– grow for me!”
LSoH FTW!
Med u bludd siblingz.
Hay guise, lemme innerupt 4 a sekkond to say that I has a pic over on teh FailBlog voting page. Plz to help me not fail at failing by not failing to vote for my Fail?
Itz currently at teh toppa teh second page. Teh one captioned “Meet me at teh corner of Fail and Fail”:
http://www.failblog.org/vote/page/2/
Kthxboyuguiseisswell
Done. And done…
Ditto.
Ditto ditto
LCB you iz da king!
Mai non werthyness – let meh show you it.
Pssst – LCB kint be a “king” — sheez a gurl.
NS, didju noes dat ai saved yew frum yer splort last nite jus as yew wuz goin out teh door tew dinner……… ai trust yew were ok
btw, wair is Hello Kitty abatar?? didju bork it?
Oh — fanks, jamamkitty! Ai must hav subkonshuslee noed dat mai splort wuz fixed. Dinnur & teh moovee went well & ai diddint seem to be hazzin enny splort-relatid komplikashunz.
…
WerdPress wuz nommin commint after commint las nite, sew ai logged owtta WP & had no furthr prawblums. Dis moarnin, ai logged into WP befoar poppin over here — WP eeted teh wun commint ai maed, sew ai logged owt & decided to go agin wif teh kwiltee skware fur teh day. Ai mite try agin latur. Ai misses mai Hello Kiteh.
jamamakitty*
Duz LCB steel can haz da mustash dat sumwun drawded awn herz? Mebbe GP seen da mustash n gotted kornfuzzled…
I hads recyclable plastic surgery to removify teh drawred-on mustache. When teh scars heal I is gonna have a tattoo put on that sez No Drawring Aloud Around My Mouf, Kthxmwah
I’z happeetaylz bowt dat, LCB — U lukz muchlee beddurer wifowt da mustash…
*mwah*
yesh, aahz iz rite! mushtashe nawt goes sew wail wif teh sparkleee n shiney fings!!
dat iz gud pic lcb! awl voytd fur!
ai voted. duz ai git a stiker nao, lyke at mai polls?
Thx to all who voted so far! U gets to pick any prize from teh bottom 2 shelves.
OR u can spin teh Wheel of Cheez and if it lands on teh number elebenty u can gets 2 prizes. If it lands on any other number, u has to give me 2 prizes.
I voatided 4 ur failpic, LCB! I’d liek 2 spin da bottlol …
er, I meen Weal uv Cheez, plz …
**SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNspinspinspinspinspinspin**
Yay! Elebentee!
Kin I trayd mai 2 pryziz 4 wun awf dat hy, tippy-tawp shef? Kin U gitz it 4 me, oar dew I neadz 2 gitz it maisef?
*Points to sine that sez:
ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: ALL REQUESTS FOR PRIZE TRADE-UPS WILL RESULT IN POINTING TO TEH SINE THAT SEZ: *
Lukz liek LCB gotted stuk n un infunit DO-DO loop…
It’s not infinite. I gets to go home in about a half-hour.
I voted 2!
**SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNspinspinspinspinspinspin**
I can has cheddur?
Wut wuz taht??? Kan yuu repeet taht plz???
peet and repeet were sitting on a fense, peet fell off and hoo wuz left?
decaf
*proudly displays IVOTED!!! stikker*
sorta reminds me of the corner of JCH40K Blvd and JCH40K Blvd.
That’s whut I was thinking when I taked teh picture!
This is at a new little shopping/restrunt-y area near my lair.
duz they surv mmm mmm good soup?
Oddly enough, no. It’s all turnips and scrambloled eggs.
an dun 2!
voted i meanz!!!
Fumbs up!
did taht too…
Dats wun cyoot kitteh
i haz a confoozed.. whai dis kitteh haz so many feetz all ovr teh plais?
iz octokitteh.
Mebbe “Octopuss?”
Ai oanlee seez foar feetz.
<– Hides under big pile of straw
omg! Ai iz sooo barressed… Ai iz berry berry new chzfrend!
LCB – pweeese forgives meh?
Ah! sittizin! yoo kno whu taked 2kitteh’s braynes?
Aw, itz ok. Happens allda time!
Come on out from under there now. I gets allergic smelling hay. *achoo!*
*weeeeek weeeeek weeeeek weeeeek *
I just adore a penthouse view…
U shouldn’t be reading mazagines like that while ur at work!
adn yew no hims reeding it. him ownli getz it fur teh artikles, ai’m shur!
We should gets him a subscription to teh Braille edition so he can reads teh artikles even if teh lites go out!
iz ok, cannot tern pages wiht no thumbz!
the heck they can’t, unless it’s gremlin’s in the house. I leave a book alone while getting something to drink, or nom upon, and when I get back the pages are changed……….and the cat has a smug look upon dey fayce.
Hazel eets mah buks. an teh noospaypurr *sigh*
reckon dat’s what we get for payin’ ‘tention to buks and not kitteh?
Prolly.
She’z awl lyke…” I am heer. Reed ME, nawt dem stoopy skwiggles.”
we awl knew dey bee entertaining and educational…….who knew dey bee comfey as well. (de buuks dat is)
yeh.
Rite nao,Hazel are siitin awn ma pyooter desk doin teh Royal Butt wash. Nice. Very ladylike I’m sure.
Mai Momkat is awlwaiz werkin on wun kraftee projek or anudder. Sumtiemz, kittehz climes on hur & sez “Mama – teh kitteh iz moar impoartint den teh innannimut objektz. Kitteh nao, projex latur.”
Ai sumtiemz du krafs, tu. Wen ai pik ub brush an oppen boddel ub acrilic paint, dat iz Barty-Bu’s cue ta jump on mai lap! Ai awmozz gotta berry cullerful kitteh on manee occashuns.
Ai agweez wit nightyshades kitteh an stawp an cuddlez him (affer clozing boddel fur safetee.)
Braille edishun??!?
Wat r da pishurz liek??!? 
pishurz = pikshurz
…
Mai pore tie-pin skilz — lemme shoaz U sdaslkf fdahksjdfas slkdf
LOLspeak spelly meestakes! I lubz it!
happe = happee
…
C — wattid I taylz U?
Tehy shud make a LOLspeak dikshunree fur u!
O, I nawt neadz dikshunerree — I noez haow 2 splol … Da prawblim iz I jess warshted mai handz n caynt dew uh fing wiffem…
Aahz yu makes meh laff so much mai hed mite splode!
Ai needz mai bed nao – nite nite
<— snuggles under straw *weeek weeek weeek*
Ebil Maus, nao… HIM wuld be lukin at piktyurs adn nawt reeding, aifinksew!
dahling I luv yu but gimme Parkavenyoo.
**duduh da duh duh**
Da choarz!!
**duduh da duh duh**
Da stoarz!!
**duduh da duh duh**
Fraish ayr!!
**duduh da duh duh**
Tymz Skwayr!!
Gudbai sittee life…
Pushes aside de tiny talons-I is goin in for a snorgle!
Kitten is Schmoo-lishis
I think i may have just become SPLORT-proof after a massive overdose of Teh Cute…sooner than expected, my new kitteh Spooky popped out 5 little spooklets yesterday morning. She came up to me and decided that while she was performing her role as Basement Cat Bathroom Buddy (TM) she would flop over in my lap and start going into labor so i very gently picked her up and put her in her bed-box and ran over to my neighbor’s apartment to borrow the cattery crate he made out of a pile of milk-crates that some homeless dude left strewn about our courtyard a few months ago…i put down some old discard clothes that are too big for me and too worn out to ever really re-use and she hopped right into it and within about five minutes, the first of the five showed up and before an hour had passed, i suddenly had more than doubled my overall percentage of kitteh. eep!
OMCC! What adorable, wonderful kitteh bebehs!
*holds head tightly to prevent splorts.*
Spooky luks lyke she haz perfektly tayken to motherhood. Concatulayshuns on becoming a kitteh grandparent, & thnx for posting teh pix,
*averts ii’s frum splort-ful kitteh*
*presses palms on booklion’s hed 2 help contayne splort!*
up to yer harbls in kettehs ?
oh, aye! 8 kittehs, one partmint…madness i tells ya, madness…
furreal dude.
Conga-ratz-u-loshunz awn da bebbeh kittehz! Sownz liek ur Spooky b uh smart momma kitteh
oso beeyoutimous bebeh kittehs!!1!
fang u, fang u for itteh bebeh kitteh committeh fix.
Skweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!elebenty!!!!!!!1!!!!!
Fangs sew mush 4 teh happeh-storee and teh wunnerfull fotos, crap O_o!!!
Yore Satan issa gorgeeous devil !!!11!! whut a shiny fab blakkat! I found out taht Menny peepz donut lyke 2 adopt black cats; the shelters R overrun wiff them! But win yoo see this “basemint kat” yoo caint help butt B stuck wif hurr beeyootey!!
Satan x3 is mah Flickr account naem…(is joek from random audio bit on a track by Orbital)…I has 3 blak kittehs…Tonya, Shadow and Spooky…Shadow is about 8 yrs old, Tonya is 5 and teh little Spooky-mama is between 11mos and 14mos
babees habbin babees! She is a byootiful mammakat adn teh babees iz such a sortment ov colurs!
Concatchulashuns on bein a new granpurrent!
fanks.
i has a srs happy lookin’ in on teh little ones when i get hoem frum teh off-hiss
Ai juz gots hoam frum skool an mai hed iz sewful alredee, adn tehn ai lukz at the tinee cudlee snuglee pricklee baybee…. *SPLORT*
kittie is teh Christian Siriano of kittehs (Pawject Runwai)
This is just a sample of pure kitteh as mined in the wild. Anything more might kill you.
LOL! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Kitteh luukes liek her bees awl tieyed up wif her feerceniss;
Awlsoe her bakk feets ar ware teh frunt feets shud bees, wif pinkee-pinkee toe pads faycing up; Ai wil restrayne maiseylfe wif dyffikultee frum doieyng teh pinkee-pinkee toe pad dans;
Her iys pretehnding tuu bees a skeerey iyntymidateing tiggure cub, fritening awl teh unwelkume vysiture peeps awaiy; iyt iys nawt wurking!!!!
I tink her pawses iz jus stuk togever?…
Ai tink she naut be totallee cumfurabull wid hau bein held, kinda folded in tu. Maite prefur a han unner neef fur platfurm an one on top reddee tu steddee as needed. Oar, tu see cute paws n tummee, a kind elongated view wit han unner bak legz fur platfirm tu stand on.
Such a tiny bebeh. I’ve held a tiny kitten in my hands before. It is dangerously sweet.
Diz guy hasnt been on dis plannet fur mohr den a cuppla weeks, ef dat long.
I can haz ur finger in five bytes
Joo has a fierce.
I has a splort.
I can has duckytape?
Dubbil splorts agin!
OOGA OOGA teh CCC coems flyin owt to halp burnt eyes and owl too!
MOP, SCOOPITY, MOPPITY – scoopin up teh brayns
BRRVVVVVVVM – brayn vak to puttem bakkin teh heds!
CHRG installmint – extra strength!
TAYPITY TAYPITY – three layers uv duk taype!
*sawft blankees fur burnt eyes and owl* Rest nao, an yool be beddur . . .
*KA-SPLORTY-SPLORT-SPLORT-SPLORTY-SPLORTY-SPLORT…AAAAAAAAAND…SPLORTY-SPLORT*!!!!!!!!
Oh noes, Owl! Owl is down!
See abuv fur halp wit yor splorts.
*tuks blankee wit owl dezines on teh owl*
Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!! So tiny!!!!!
mai boikitty sez this itty bitty kitty iz the sekuritee guard for teh itee bittee kittee komittee…
Deyz saef nau! Fur shur!
Fatayl Kyute!!!
sooooo cuuuuuute and tiny!! i want!!
Whats that thing around the neck?
Can’t be a finger…
Good question! I taut was fingur, but ai donfinkso nau.
*SPLORTZ x 10!!* Too cyute fur werds!! Lookit da wil behbee kitteh!
I are has a fierce to! -ssssss
Tyra kitty strikes a poze to scritch her way to bein America’s next top kitty
So, teh poor kitteh has inlaw problems!!
poor kitteh nevar knew wat happned!