Pawshank Redemption
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Cheezburger Network Blog
release meh u hooman fool!
iz innocent i tellz u, INNOCENT!!
We beleeves yoo, kitteh! Heer, lemme open that door. . .
Congrats, Hashim! We dantzes in yor honor! *skamper skamper, dantz dantz, wiggle wiggle!*
fanks gremlin!!1!
i beleevz u iz also bery fast at typing! i dance at ur almost beatin meh! (jump, jump, *do da movez* wigglol, wigglol)
we noes Hashim… u wuz furramed!
ahhh…iz nice to noez dat u guyz beleevz meh! naow, i stealz key frum da guard and escapez sneakily…
way 2 go hashim!! yew has a rare, solo nawt-second. congarashumalashuns. drinks and dances ob yer choice.
.
oh, and a gud commint too
fanks Phillipe d’Beaker!! u iz bery kind!
i’ll hab choklitt fur drinkiz and a waltz fur dances!
*luks down at pawz, dantzes kayrfully*
WUN too three,
WUN too three,
WALTZ too three,
WALTZ too three!
yay! a bery gud performance! (*clappity clappity wiff floofy pawz!*)
i’z plenty gilltee mahself, i’z just been lucky enuf to get awai wit all of it.
convict ulashunz, hashim!
i say we bakez a cake wif filez innit so kitteh kin exkape? or maybee a tooona sufflay?
or a hacksaw hamburger?
a tunneling tuna sooflay
… hmm… brayne not wrking so fast rite now.
goes to get fuds
brb
Gud ideer, wut udder tuuls cood halp a kitteh exkape?
Atom bom
Budderz
Can opuner
D…
ATOM BOMB
dat would be useful fur escaping and be free frum da hoomanz!
ooopsiee. GMTA dint see yr list & din’t refwesh. wee kan haz 2?
Sher wii kan, Y nawt? Ennewun wants tew plai?
Dynomite frum Acme
Elolfontz to storm da place
Furballs to place in strateegerikal places to maek gards twip & falls
G…
Green file cabinet wiff a cake in it
Hulk: one (1) – incredibull – fer yankin out bars on cell winder
Inner strenff fer holdong breff inna smelly tunnlol
J…
o hai mary O’Spockn!!
fankz fur da congratz…. or iz i convicted? (chill up da spine)… just joking!
i say a toooona sufflay would be nice!
dont be too wurries, if you get convikted,we hire da best bullgoggie lolyer to halp. if dat duzn’t werk, we come reskue yew outta da jale. Ower teem o speshulists will yuse:
Army of traned cat burglars to teech us skills.
Big can o toona to eet to keep ower strengf up
Case o dynomite frum Acme
D…
so i fink dere iz nothin to be afraid of if u peepz r here
Dich Diggin Tuuls
ennyfing day kin fynd
Fryin Pans!!
G…
Ginormaus to let loos to skare gards
Hellykopter
Instant grits, i dunno why.
J…
Jello molds
Kombat boots
Left hooks followed by rowndhouse punch (u makes it wif pyneappuls!)
Morterz (“Fyr inna hoal!!”)
Nun-chux
Onyonz (mayk da gardz crie sew dey caynt c)
P…
Missile launcherz
Plasma grenadez
Chain-sawz
Shurickenz
F…
U want “Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy or “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis?
Oar, “Red” by that country guy. Iz funnee song.
Heer it is!
“Ole Red” by Blake Shelton
Well I caught my wife with another man
And it cost me ninety nine
On a prison farm in Georgia
Close to the Florida line
Well I’d been here for two long years
I finally made the warden my friend
And so he sentenced me to a life of ease
Taking care of Ol Red
Now Ol’ Red he’s the damnedest dog that I’ve ever seen
Got a nose that can smell a two day trail
He’s a four legged tracking machine
You can consider yourself mighty lucky
To get past the gators and the quicksand beds
But all these years that I’ve been here
Ain’t nobody got past Red
And the warden sang
Come on somebody
Why don’t you run
Ol’ Red’s itchin’ to have a little fun
Get my lantern
Get my gun
Red’ll have you treed before the mornin’ comes
Well I paid off the guard and I slipped out a letter
To my cousin up in Tennessee
Oh and he brought down a blue tick hound
She was pretty as she could be
Well they penned her up in the swampland
‘Bout a mile just south of the gate
And I’d take Ol’ Red for his evening run
I’d just drop him off and wait
And the warden sang
Come on somebody
Why don’t you run
Ol’ Red’s itchin’ to have a little fun
Get my lantern
Get my gun
Red’ll have you treed before the mornin’ comes
Now Ol’ Red got real used to seeing
His lady every night
And so I kept him away for three or four days
And waited till the time got right
Well I made my run with the evenin’ sun
And I smiled when I heard ‘em let Red out
‘Cause I was headed north to Tennessee
And Ol’ Red was headed south
And the warden sang
Come on somebody
Why don’t you run
Ol’ Red’s itchin’ to have a little fun
Get my lantern
Get my gun
Red’ll have you treed before the mornin’ comes
Now there’s red haired blue ticks all in the South
Love got me in here and love got me out
Dat song is full of win!
FTW rhsb!!1! I lurvz da sawng — itz fulla teh awsum n win!
how bout ‘Runaway’ frum Linkin Park?
We plawts owr exskaype!
u gots the littul hammer? hand it overs…
o drats, hammer is yoosless wiffowt opposabul thumbs…
oar is yoo bein’ ahbtuse?
n postir ov ritta haywurt 2! kthxbai
ornj kitteh iz outta heer
Caretroll Bait!
mai pounty endz get me free!
“Ai habs a dreem”
Bettur maek sure teh alarm is awf…
Ai clawstrafobik…Lemme owt!!!
Wow, aifinkso dis bee a 9 wai tyfur sekond! Conga rat shoelaces ebrybudee!
fanks! it iz a par tee heer naow!
Ai’ll b lyk teh Bradee Bunch an use a belt 2 grab teh kees.
Teh onlee prawblum wif dat iz AI NAWT WAERIN PANTS!!!!
I imagine this is causing your office mates some distress…
Nope, tehy nawt notissed yet.
Ai tolded u it wuz hawt in heer. Teh A/C iz borked.
So… this will greatly simplify your debriefing…
WAT de-breefin?
Ai kno nuffin abowt no de-breefin.
just don’t let tehm rebreef u afters.
dat’s teh pleh.
Don’t forget teh 2-4-1 debriefing speshul we has this week!
That’s right!
*Brings in The Debriefing Cart*
*RummageRummageRummage*
Let’s see… some peacock feathers…
*RummageRummageRummage*
And some Duck tape…
*QuackQuackQUACK!*
I’ll bring your tape back right away Mrs. Duck…
*RummageRummageRummage*
A bottle of Debriefing Fluid…
*RummageRummageRummage*
Hedge trimmers…
Do I need anything else? Hmmm….
R we still running dat?
rhsb, u cud get a gift cert for teh otter won.
Don’t u has someone speshul u’d like to give a gifty 2?
Yes teh offur is good until July 32rd.
Void where prohibited, but then clean up after urself.
Ai is skeered ’bout de hedge trimmers…
Waitll U c wat himz haz plannded 4 da egg beeturz…
Snert!!!
Reminds me of a joke from “Yes, Prime Minister,” where PM Jim Hacker asks why he’s never allowed out without his briefs. “In case you’re caught with your trousers down,” deadpans his Permanent Private Secretary, Bernard Woolley.
**snerk**
Ah,teh Brady memorees…..dey are stuck in our heds!
marsha, marsha, marsha!!!
Teh ossifers sawr that Brady Bunch episode so now they takes ur belt afore u goes in teh cell.
“Obie, I can unnerstand u wanting my wallet so I doesn’t has any moneys to spend in teh cell, but whut does u want my belt for?”
“Kitteh, we doesn’t want any hangings.”
I sed, “Obie, did u think I was gonna hang myself 4 clawing teh cowch?”
**snerk at teh cowch massakree**
U can nom anny thing u wants at Lolice’s Restaurant
Walks rite in, teh fud’s always warm
Just a half a mile from teh Nawty Barn
U can nom anny thing u wants at Lolice’s Restaurant
snerk
Nao, thatz wurth elebenty 8×10 glossee fotogafs wif serkles-n-arrowz asplainin wut eech wunzabowt!
An’ watchin’ Obie cri because the judj has a c’ing ai googie leeding hims inta teh koort!
…’splainin wa eech wun wuz 2 b yoozded as evvydintz aginst us.
Dey tookded pitcherz uv da uhproach, da gitawai, da norfwess coarnur, da sowfwess coarnur, n datz nawt 2 minshun da ayreeyul fotogruffee…
U mentioned teh arrial fotograffy!
O NOEZ!! I didz! *erase*erase*erase*
Mai erasur nawt b werkin gud 2dai…
…
I gess I’ll goe sitz obber heer awn da Groop W binch wif awl da meen, nastee, uglee-lukkin ppl…
Yew mist it? Itz comin rownd on teh gitar agin…
… n seeng it win it duz… Dis tym wif 5-part harminee n fealin…
We will gets owt and go to Mexico,where we will catch fishees fer teh rest uv our lives…..
mmm…teh fishies iz sew gud in teh kitteh’s tum tum.
We will go to Mexico, yoo, teh cat, and meh . . .
And drink tequila. And luk fur seasheels. Duzznt that sownd sweet?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gre4DZuA6k4
♫we canz go to meksikooo, yew, teh kat adn mee
okay, nao ican haz new eerwurm, but iz bedder dan teh old wun.
fnaks, gremlin.
p.s. haz you furr gibben mee fur droppin yu doon teh twap door?
{{maryO}} Why yes, uv korse! We letz by-gones be by-gones . ..
I posted a messuj below but WurdPress eeted it. Lemme try agin.
I menshuned mah Dexter (noo tabby boi, 16 weeks old) luvs floofy/rattly mauses.
Munday nite I did tayl rekunstrukshun surjery on a floofy maus. Dexter watched with grayt interest and instantly pounced on teh maus when it wuz owt uv surjeries.
Mah rambunkshus furreh son, let me show yoo him!
No maus is safe . . .
Eeeeeeeeeeeeekkk!
Haz yoo chekked teh status uv yor tayl laytly, hmmm???
yes I don’t understand what the fascination is with the mice tails
my kitties like to eat the tail on the furry mice first.
I call the mice with tails intact, virgin mice!
Tayls missing is teh leest uv teh dammij! With at leest 2 mauses, Dexter haz ripped teh fur off entyrely! He luks at them then and haz a sad . . .
Teh floof on teh owtsyde + teh rattle on teh insyd + teh fancee tayl = irresistible!
If u ever run across fur mice wif teh rattle and teh fether tayle… try those 2. My kittehs think they is teh bomb-diggetee.
Fank gudness! Aifinkso y00 wuz discuss… disk… talkin abowt reel mauses!
oh noes I be talking bout rabbit fur mices that uz
can buy in the kitteh toiz sekshun of Ur big box pet store
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0009YS8OM
WABBIT fur mauses? Wassup, Doc???!!!1!!!
Secret tunnel is hided behind a poster of Hello Kitteh.
Nightshayde iz a poster gurl ????
Is u surprised by this?
Shhh. Doan tell ennywun else!
Feh. Mere hoomins cannawt kontain teh kitteh…
OT: Mai hubbeh has teh stoopy. Ai jes emayled him an sed: Mai stuff be owt bai teh wiik-end at teh latist, tihs afturnoon at teh erleest.
.
.
Him emayled mi bak an sed: Okay, jes let mi kno.
.
.
Um…ai jest did!
oh, to klarifye: dat rolly eyez iz fr teh hubbeh, nawt you.
kthnx
Ai has a qwestion, rhsb: hubbeh leebes marrij, why u has to leeb hows?
Sowee if ai R too nosee.
Howse wuz hubbehs b4 wii gotted marryated.
Hmmphh. Saem fing happeneded to mii. Ai lived wif BF fur 2 yrs, den hims wanted to brake up, so ai had to mobe owt.
Stoopee mens.
*Disclaimer: the expression “Stoopee mens” by no means applies to all men, let alone the men on Cheezburger.
I haz always wurried abowt this. So I bot mah own haus, by mahself! Mah deed with mah own naym onnit: let me show yoo it! (I payd it off last munth – yay!)
Then agin, I is nawt teh married. I is dayting teh saym reely grayt guy (he luvs kittehs) for . . . OK, ar yoo reddy fur this . . . 22 yeers as uv August.
wow. Dat iz wun seerius rel8shunship! Congrajuhlations!
Lemme add – I did nawt meen to mayk rhsb or ennybuddy feel bad. Iz reely hard to find sumthing gud that lasts in owr current wurld! Evree relayshunsheep haz its upzandowns!
We is both verreh indep . . in . . lykes to be self-reliant and haz owr own spayce. Wun uv these dayze we may run orf an git marreed sekrudlee. Haz bin a topik uv konversayshun, but no rush, obviously! Then agin, we haz been sayin that (wun uv these days) fur teh last 5 to 10 yeerz . .
Ai haz frend hoo wuz toogedder wif hur man fur 40 yeers witowt gettin marrid. Himz went ober teh bridge last yeer. Dey lubed eech uther but saw no reezun fur marij.
Heh. Men. Cannawt live wif dem…sumtiems cannawt afford tew live wifout.
Hello…! McFly…!
*klonk klonk klonk*
idea inspired by mobbee*
*pondurz*
.
*wikked
we can arraynj it so trukload of *stuff* ends up in hubbeh’s conbertabull?
Has u seen Harper Valley PTA moobie?
i wuz finkin of BaktodaFyoocher moobees.
yeerz ago i finso i saw a moobee wif BarbraEdenJeannee purson innit, but no can has much memree. Did it haz simillar seenaireo?
I finksew dat mite b da saym moobee dat ur finkin uv — BarbraEdenJeannee purr-sun playd da momcat n Har-purr Vallee PTA
Exxxxxxcelleeeeeent!
rhsb, I is
delightedsry to informs u that ur hubsand has been injured in a freak accident involving his getting smacked upside his hed wif a blue T-Fal frying pan.Donut beez teh worry: teh frying pan is ok.
Glad 2 heer teh pan is okay. Him iz awfullee hard-heded.
Ai lubs teh bloo. Mai favrit colur.
Oh, if teh T-Fal nawt werk agin, use the cast-iron wun.
Oh, nont habba fayce shaypd dentinit?
It did, but we pounded it flat again.
We pounded teh hubbeh’s face flat first by mistake, but then we fix0rd teh pan.
Wuz dat your blue T-fal pan,LCB,or teh one u “liberated”frum mai ex ??
It’s teh one I liberated. I figgered it would beez appropiate to use as a all-purpose heavy-dooty stoopy hubbeh dealer-with-er.
Ai agwee wiv eeck!
Ai wuns hitted mai husbing wiv teh cookie tin – made a dent in teh tin and lotsa crums frum teh broked cookies
Tee hee!
Ai hadz trubbles wiv ex-huzbums… Wun tyme, mai Sammikins wuz teeny tinee babeh, an hiz farver camed home after he’d been “owt” for a weekenend an lefted uz wid n0 fud. He brawt sum gwoceries in… Ao wuz s0 angwy Ai wanted to hit him wiv teh door-stop (wud have been mush pleh!) butt at teh lastest moment-in-tyme, Ai picked up a baguette (French stik) an belted him wid dat!!!111!!!
Shud hab useded door-stop…
Beetin pplz wif bred. Hmmm…..
The most delishus weapun evar!
Belted teh bum with a baguette! Ther is a song in heer, ayfinkso! *gigglol*
I is hearin it sung to teh toon uv Bad to teh Bone, by Georj Thurrowgud . . .
Teh win, gwemlin! @@@@@
I broke a thousand loafs, before I hit you
I’ll break a thousand more baby, before I am through
Break baguettes on your noggin, yours and yours alone
I’ll throw ‘em at you honey, throw that bread to the bone
Bread to the bone
Bread to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bread to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bread
B-B-B-B-Bread
Bread to the bone
Win!
@@@@@@ x elebenty gazillion!
Yay! Aahz an cheezefrens, y00 reelly maek me LOL owt lowd…
@@@@@!!!!1!!!!
@@@@@!
Teh Long Arm of teh Law catched teh Short Arm wif teh Paw.
Teh bestest! @@@@@
“Here goggie, goggie. Trade keys for tihs bone.”……..
Parrots of teh Cattibeen
Heh…bestest part of ride…Ai has postcard wif dose animatronics awn it.
iz teh bestest ride! i memmemember teh good ole days before teh movies camed out, we cud ridem it ober n ober tew r harts content……nao haz to wait in stoopy line for hours!!!! but teh new addition uvva Capn Jack iz worf waitn for!
I remember teh dayz befor teh movies. I too would ride teh ride ovar and ovar again. I mostlee remember teh smell. Teh musky ‘dis has been in teh watr’ a lawng tyme smell.
Ai goez to Dizneelan a lot — teh lien *yoozhullee* nawt sew bad ennymoar. Mebbe 10-15 minnit wayt.
But whi izz awl da rum gone?
Becuz we dwink it fer sillybrations…duh.
We needz the Dirty Dozen to bust kitteh out!
Ohai gig, wut a guud mooby taht wuz! Sew mebby old tyme akters…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob1x-dRlKN4
Oar digga tunnel liek “Da Grate Eskayp”
“Soon ai reelyzd dat ai culd reed teh wurds awn teh cayj…”
ah, NIMH.
I no wanna be in deh sheltah
plz to be taking meh home wid U
I not poizon but the sweetest kitteh U will eber has
:pitiful mrreow..
I has a sad now…. waaahhhhh!
donut be sadz leeza-b
oranj kitteh will sitz in U r lapz
and purr
and makes U feel bettah
Ohai, leeza-be, plz to nawt haz a sad!
BTW, hao ar things goin wit teh blind kitteh yoo is tryin to feed? (I finks it wuz yoo hoo tawked abowt this . . . if not yoo, I pollygize.)
oh sowry… *sniff*
I has not seen the little (possiblee) blind kitteh since Sunday.
But one of teh other strays, the little gurl I gotted spayed last week, is not doing 2 gud. She won’t eet, and won’t let me get near her, and she was teh FRENDLEE before… I think she mite be sick. I hope she duzzn’t has an infeckshun from teh surgery.
Ohai Leeza-b!!! pweaze dnt haz a sad…
i hope dat she turn out jus’ fine…. and if da maybe-blind-kitteh haz runaway, he may not be blind and not so sad and desperate…i hopez he cumz back and da ober kitteh bez nice wiff u..
oh noes pooh kitteh
{{{{{leeza-b an her kittehs}}}}}
I hope herz ged bedderz
Uz is doing ceiling cat’s work
good luck!
*wurree linez deepen on forehead*
{{{leeza-b adn herz kittehz}}}
{{{{{{leeza-b an teh kittehz}}}}}} Y00 iz doin eberythin y00 kan! Hopin all will bee well…
fanks guiz.
I feel reely bad about this one; she wanted to stay in wif me. But I gots 2 neerly 13-yr old cranky kittehs who didn’t think much of dat idea. I tried introdoocing them but Thelma hedbatted her and Weezy was afrayd uv her. So I had to put hur owt.. she really did nawt want to go back owt. Sat at the door and cried… it hurted my hart.
Todai it’s hades hot owtside too… I feel bad for teh sick kitteh owt in this heet.
Praps u cud bringing her in an keep her inna seprat room? *seh axed hopefullee*
I wuz finkin that too. Yor storeh wurreed meh. When he got fixed, mah furst kitteh got reelly sik. Wuz infekshun frum teh surjery. I left hoem in teh mornin an he wuz sittin on teh cowch, feelin warm to teh tuch. When I kaym hoem, he wuz in saym spot, still feelin warm. Had to git teh antibiotics an then he wuz azgudaznew.
well dats what I was gonna do last nite. I was gonna bring her in, check her insishun, and take her to teh v.e.t. today if necessary. But she won’t let me get close enuf to catch her now… *sigh*
Wun wurd (yoo haz herd this befoar): tooona.
Heer, ai habs sum sammin, too.
Gud luk, leeza.
I tried the fancy feest fish dis morning.
She was a littul interested but tehn the other
stray cats beeted her to it.
Toona duz not last long arownd my howse!
::::::::::::::BRIEF SEGUE:::::::::::::
Ai seimousely fink mai Zeus kitteh iz going to end up in teh bafftub wun uv deez daze, an’ ai hoep ai’m arown’ tew see it. Ebery naow an den, Zeus will poek himz hed into teh baffroom wyle ai takin uh shaoer…iz bery kyoot. HAOEBER, todai, him wawked up tew wiffin six inches uv teh tub…an akshully reeched aot for it! Him waawnted tew jump inna tub, aifinkso!
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::END SEGUE:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
to be contimewed…
My kitteh haets water…so I wuz suprised to see him onez day come into teh bafroom while I was takin a baff. He walks up next to meh in teh tub an gives me teh look lyke “whachadooin?”. Then he squatts, readiez and jumped into my baff! I can still remembar hiz big eyez as he saw teh watr belo! He hit teh watr (I sware he bownced) and den proceeded to use me as teh ladder owt! I still has scarz on meh belleh frum where he uzed hiz pointy ends to latch awn!
Wii had wun dat yoosta taek himz napz ontawpuv teh fishee tank. Himz wuz BIG kitteh. Wun day, teh tawp uv teh fishee tank gaev way wen himz wuz up der — he fell into teh fishee tank & bownsed himself owt in wun kwik moment & went runnin thru teh howse liek dere wuz deemunz chaysin him.
…
Wuz BERY funnee, akshullee.
Kitteh wuz finkin . . .
Fishin – wuz nawt so grayt, ackshully!
Teh fishees wuz a bit surprized, but dey wuz ok (once teh sloshin subsided).
Oar mebbe: “Wet Napz – nawt sew grate akshullee.”
will da kyoot kitteh liek a baff or not….continue da saga…
Mebbe Zeus iz swimmin Van Kitteh inna prebious incar… inkarn… life?
Mah Dexter luvs teh watur an haz coem in teh showr at leest 5 tymes nao! His gramma wuz part Maine coon. They luvs teh watur too!
Gremlin – Ai wuz luukin at ur pikshurs. Iz dat u wif teh ginormis orinj kitteh?
Yep! Thatz meh! Teh ginormis orinj kitteh wuz mah beeg boi kitteh Gremlin. He wuz 22 pownds an I lurved heem lawts. He wuz meen to uther peepul, tho; he only lyked 2 peepuls in teh wurld. Lukkily, mah boyfrend wuz wun ov them! He broked owr harts when he left us. (Sawree to repeet – I haz talked abowt heem lots.) He had teh diabeetus an I had to giv heem shots twice a day. Nobuddy els culd tuch heem but mah boyfrend an meh. Thatz why we started taykin heem everywhar, inkluding camping! Grem would stay in teh kar most uv teh tyme – I put teh lidder bokx in teh trunk. Mah kar had a pass-thru bak seet, so kitteh culd walk arownd kar and use lidderbokx in trunk whenever he wunted. It is nawt troo that yoo kant teech an old kat noo trix! Grem luvved to travel an see things.
That pikshor uv me holdin him wuz tayken on owr last kamping trip togethur in 2004. *whispers* I still misses heem. He hazza spot in mah bak yard – that korner uv teh yard wher teh flowrs grow tall is kalld Gremlin’s Meadow, an teh deer an burds an bunnehs plays ther. Is a lawt lyke Mu Meddow; thatz why I kin see teh Mu Meddow so kleer . . .
Teh liddel gray tabbeh is Dexter. I will put up summoar pikshors within teh week. He is teh kyoot, an I lurvs heem awlreddy, but he is a handful! A liddel sumthin that wuz borked in mah hart fur so lawng is startin to heel a liddel, I finks.
Mai Josie wuz diabetick, 2! At her hevyist, her wayed ober 20 lbs. Teh vet an ai gotted hur wate down 2 jes ober 12 lbs.
Ai miss Josie sew hard. Sumtimes, ai fink ai feels/heers hur get inna bed. Iz weerd an comfortin alla sayme.
{{{gremlin}}}
Awww – mebbe yer Josie is gettin inna bed tew cumfurt & protek yew, rhsb. Ai doan fink teh kittehz eber goez bery far awai eben wen deyz ober teh bridj oar in teh meddow. {{{{{rhsb}}}}}
U has teh nyse smile, gremlin.
I noes teh feeling. If Grem had insulin “issues,” it wuld yooshully happen at 4 in teh morning. Fur teh furst kuppla weeks after he left, I kept waykin at 4 in teh morning, lissnin fur teh sownd uv heem kawlin fur meh. Wherever I wuz in teh hows, he had to be rite ther, with a paw or a tayl tuchin meh. We wuz soul-mayts.
I wayted a lawng tyme to get a noo kitteh. I thot it wuldnt be fayr to expekt ennykat to fill such beeg pawprints. Mah hart longs fur orinj kats, an thatz whut I thot I’d git agin, but mah sister’s frend’s kitteh had a litter uv tabby bois with whyt pawz. I think they is teh kyoot too! But ther is sumthin speshul abowt teh way teh lyte holds teh orinj wuns in its paws, an lytes theyr fur with gold.
oh Gremlin… it may be sum yeers down the rode, but you will luv ur Dexter every bit as much in teh end.. maybe a littel diffrently, but still wif a fierce.
*whispers* I finks I alreddy luvs teh noo tabbeh boi with at leest a liddel bit uv feerce.
gremlin, my kitteh wz a soul-kitteh, too. He tawt me lotz about menny tings. And he had diabetes, & he lubbed trabeling wif me, too. So gud in teh car, in motel rums. He wz always king, eberywhere he went, & otter peeps & catz uzually rekognized it, 2.
He passed ober teh brij 7 yeerz ago, & I still haz nawt been able 2 haz a new kitteh.
{{booklion an soul-kitteh}} I finks ther is a speshul bond between peeps an ther kittehs hoo haz speschul needs or helth issues. When yoo haz too fite for theyr lifes sumtiems, yoo becoems very klose.
Teh furst week I had mah noo kitteh (got heem last Monday in June), I just sat an held heem in mah arms an lukked an lukked at heem to mayk shur he wuz reel.
Is nawt a replaycement fur mah soul-kitteh, but is a wunnerful kitteh. I hoeps wun day yoo is reddy fur a noo kitteh. Moar lykely a kitteh will find yoo . .
Awwww *sniff*.
…
Yew is teh pretteh, Gremlin! Yer Gremlin wuz kwite a hansum boikat. Aiz sew sry fur yer loss. {{{{{Gremlin}}}}} Yer Dexter is sew adorabul! Ai kin see dat himz gonna be a pawfull — but aifinkso himz will be wurf it.
Aw, shuks. *digs paw in durt, lukkin imbarrissd* Fanks, guise! We wuz kampin an I did nawt brush mah hayrs. But thatz meh in teh flesh!
Dexter is teh luvvy boi. He luvs hed bonks an nose tuches. When I gitz hoem, I lugz heem arownd teh hows an snorgles heem vishuslee! He luvs it! We rubs heds an chop-slams eech uther with viggur.
Mah boyfrend lykes adult kats but has liddel payshuns with kittehs an their silleh wayz. But he wuz teh wun hoo sujjested we do tayl surjery on teh floofy maus that is teh curren fayvrit. (An explayned to meh that I shud crumple up Pounce on teh kitteh fud every day to git heem to eet moar.)
Teh luv uv a noo kitteh . . . we is growing it at owr haus! I bot a lidel sine that I hung over teh doorway in mah haus. It sez . . . And they lived happily ever after.
{{{{{{Gwemlin}}}}}} an fambly! Ai still haz a bery, bery big sad abowt Gizmo an Ai knoa jus wut y00 mean…
{{{{{poohbear}}}}}
{{poohbear an gizmo}} I sendz yoo furreh, heeling thots . . . Yoo had Gizmo. I had Gremlin. We is linked! *links paws with poohbear*
maybe in prebius life, Zeus was Neptune!
me iz goin’ to sleep, see ya’ll 2morr…*THUD* *fallz on da floor and sleepz* *zzZZzZZzzzZZzZZ*
Sleep tite, mind teh bugs don bite… Sweet dreems!
…an ai’ll miit ya bai teh siishoar daown Mexico way an wii’ll goe bonita fishing evurii dai
GET ‘EM ALL OUT OF THE CAGES AND INTO LOVING, FOREVER HOMES!!!
WANT FUD! AI IZ HUNGEE!
Jayleburd Kitteh flyez teh koop; hims haz pikked teh lokk adn wil bees aowt inna jiffee;
Hims hasta geyt uused tuu teh aowtsyde whirld: noe moar iynstituushunal dryeded kitteh fuud oar rekohnstituutid kauncentraytid wature; oanley Perrier frum naow awn!!
O hai, cheshirekittehkat!
Sounds gud to me! When can we fliez teh koop?!
Weez kan fliez teh koop az sune az kitteh kommandeers a gahrbidge kan adn sneekxx aowt innit!!!
run kitteh run kitteh
nnooooes!! poor kitteh – i neerly be cryzin nao.. kitteh shud not be incarser… incarsar… put behinds barz.. vey should be free to pee n poop with the wind in ver tailz!!
CATTICA! CATTICA! CATTICA! CATTICA!
good one rodney!
The Catbird of Alcatraz
That was unusually clever.
CATTICA! CATTICA! CATTICA! CATTICA! was pretty good, too!
Unusual? actually I am a recherche captioneer.
…. but thanks
teh best lolcat evur!
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