Pawshank Redemption
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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(Tips & FAQ)
release meh u hooman fool!
iz innocent i tellz u, INNOCENT!!
We beleeves yoo, kitteh! Heer, lemme open that door. . .
Congrats, Hashim! We dantzes in yor honor! *skamper skamper, dantz dantz, wiggle wiggle!*
fanks gremlin!!1!
i beleevz u iz also bery fast at typing! i dance at ur almost beatin meh! (jump, jump, *do da movez* wigglol, wigglol)
we noes Hashim… u wuz furramed!
ahhh…iz nice to noez dat u guyz beleevz meh! naow, i stealz key frum da guard and escapez sneakily…
way 2 go hashim!! yew has a rare, solo nawt-second. congarashumalashuns. drinks and dances ob yer choice.
.
oh, and a gud commint too
fanks Phillipe d’Beaker!! u iz bery kind!
i’ll hab choklitt fur drinkiz and a waltz fur dances!
*luks down at pawz, dantzes kayrfully*
WUN too three,
WUN too three,
WALTZ too three,
WALTZ too three!
yay! a bery gud performance! (*clappity clappity wiff floofy pawz!*)
i’z plenty gilltee mahself, i’z just been lucky enuf to get awai wit all of it.
convict ulashunz, hashim!
i say we bakez a cake wif filez innit so kitteh kin exkape? or maybee a tooona sufflay?
or a hacksaw hamburger?
a tunneling tuna sooflay
… hmm… brayne not wrking so fast rite now.
goes to get fuds
brb
Gud ideer, wut udder tuuls cood halp a kitteh exkape?
Atom bom
Budderz
Can opuner
D…
ATOM BOMB
dat would be useful fur escaping and be free frum da hoomanz!
ooopsiee. GMTA dint see yr list & din’t refwesh. wee kan haz 2?
Sher wii kan, Y nawt? Ennewun wants tew plai?
Dynomite frum Acme
Elolfontz to storm da place
Furballs to place in strateegerikal places to maek gards twip & falls
G…
Green file cabinet wiff a cake in it
Hulk: one (1) - incredibull - fer yankin out bars on cell winder
Inner strenff fer holdong breff inna smelly tunnlol
J…
o hai mary O’Spockn!!
fankz fur da congratz…. or iz i convicted? (chill up da spine)… just joking!
i say a toooona sufflay would be nice!
dont be too wurries, if you get convikted,we hire da best bullgoggie lolyer to halp. if dat duzn’t werk, we come reskue yew outta da jale. Ower teem o speshulists will yuse:
Army of traned cat burglars to teech us skills.
Big can o toona to eet to keep ower strengf up
Case o dynomite frum Acme
D…
so i fink dere iz nothin to be afraid of if u peepz r here
Dich Diggin Tuuls
ennyfing day kin fynd
Fryin Pans!!
G…
Ginormaus to let loos to skare gards
Hellykopter
Instant grits, i dunno why.
J…
Jello molds
Kombat boots
Left hooks followed by rowndhouse punch (u makes it wif pyneappuls!)
Morterz (”Fyr inna hoal!!”)
Nun-chux
Onyonz (mayk da gardz crie sew dey caynt c)
P…
Missile launcherz
Plasma grenadez
Chain-sawz
Shurickenz
F…
U want “Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy or “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis?
Oar, “Red” by that country guy. Iz funnee song.
Heer it is!
“Ole Red” by Blake Shelton
Well I caught my wife with another man
And it cost me ninety nine
On a prison farm in Georgia
Close to the Florida line
Well I’d been here for two long years
I finally made the warden my friend
And so he sentenced me to a life of ease
Taking care of Ol Red
Now Ol’ Red he’s the damnedest dog that I’ve ever seen
Got a nose that can smell a two day trail
He’s a four legged tracking machine
You can consider yourself mighty lucky
To get past the gators and the quicksand beds
But all these years that I’ve been here
Ain’t nobody got past Red
And the warden sang
Come on somebody
Why don’t you run
Ol’ Red’s itchin’ to have a little fun
Get my lantern
Get my gun
Red’ll have you treed before the mornin’ comes
Well I paid off the guard and I slipped out a letter
To my cousin up in Tennessee
Oh and he brought down a blue tick hound
She was pretty as she could be
Well they penned her up in the swampland
‘Bout a mile just south of the gate
And I’d take Ol’ Red for his evening run
I’d just drop him off and wait
And the warden sang
Come on somebody
Why don’t you run
Ol’ Red’s itchin’ to have a little fun
Get my lantern
Get my gun
Red’ll have you treed before the mornin’ comes
Now Ol’ Red got real used to seeing
His lady every night
And so I kept him away for three or four days
And waited till the time got right
Well I made my run with the evenin’ sun
And I smiled when I heard ‘em let Red out
‘Cause I was headed north to Tennessee
And Ol’ Red was headed south
And the warden sang
Come on somebody
Why don’t you run
Ol’ Red’s itchin’ to have a little fun
Get my lantern
Get my gun
Red’ll have you treed before the mornin’ comes
Now there’s red haired blue ticks all in the South
Love got me in here and love got me out
Dat song is full of win!
FTW rhsb!!1! I lurvz da sawng — itz fulla teh awsum n win!
how bout ‘Runaway’ frum Linkin Park?
We plawts owr exskaype!
u gots the littul hammer? hand it overs…
o drats, hammer is yoosless wiffowt opposabul thumbs…
oar is yoo bein’ ahbtuse?
n postir ov ritta haywurt 2! kthxbai
ornj kitteh iz outta heer
Caretroll Bait!
mai pounty endz get me free!
“Ai habs a dreem”
Bettur maek sure teh alarm is awf…
Ai clawstrafobik…Lemme owt!!!
Wow, aifinkso dis bee a 9 wai tyfur sekond! Conga rat shoelaces ebrybudee!
fanks! it iz a par tee heer naow!
Ai’ll b lyk teh Bradee Bunch an use a belt 2 grab teh kees.
Teh onlee prawblum wif dat iz AI NAWT WAERIN PANTS!!!!
I imagine this is causing your office mates some distress…
Nope, tehy nawt notissed yet.
Ai tolded u it wuz hawt in heer. Teh A/C iz borked.
So… this will greatly simplify your debriefing…
WAT de-breefin?
Ai kno nuffin abowt no de-breefin.
just don’t let tehm rebreef u afters.
dat’s teh pleh.
Don’t forget teh 2-4-1 debriefing speshul we has this week!
That’s right!
*Brings in The Debriefing Cart*
*RummageRummageRummage*
Let’s see… some peacock feathers…
*RummageRummageRummage*
And some Duck tape…
*QuackQuackQUACK!*
I’ll bring your tape back right away Mrs. Duck…
*RummageRummageRummage*
A bottle of Debriefing Fluid…
*RummageRummageRummage*
Hedge trimmers…
Do I need anything else? Hmmm….
R we still running dat?
rhsb, u cud get a gift cert for teh otter won.
Don’t u has someone speshul u’d like to give a gifty 2?
Yes teh offur is good until July 32rd.
Void where prohibited, but then clean up after urself.
Ai is skeered ’bout de hedge trimmers…
Waitll U c wat himz haz plannded 4 da egg beeturz…
Snert!!!
Reminds me of a joke from “Yes, Prime Minister,” where PM Jim Hacker asks why he’s never allowed out without his briefs. “In case you’re caught with your trousers down,” deadpa