Karate cat split entire
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Ohai-yah!
gozaimasu
Do itashimashite
Hai Aahz!1!!! I am Hai Jakking dis Hai spot. I gottinged an emayo frum Janet dis morning adn i wanting 2 passing it along.
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She sendz greetingz adn lubz 2 awl frum Jerminee. Her internet akksess b limited sew she kennot playing wif us now. Deh memorial 4 her frend went well, az did teh 50th birfday party 4 her uzzer fren.
Kan u beleeving it — Janet sez “I always worry when I am gone so long that no one will remember who I am!” How kud wii eber fergetting her???
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Ok. u kin habbing ur fred bak noaw.
O noez dey kant. I hyjax da thred nao!!
Um, I juzz gottid sum tex messijes frum SamS
She ar bein’ discharjd, goin hoam todae!!! YAY!!!!!
Fanks mj n elfi fur teh updates!!!
Ohai cweenmj n elfinugget! Fanky bowf uv U 4 da updaytz!
cweenmj: Tayl JPAQC I sed dis: {{{{{JPAQC}}}}}
elfinugget: Tayl SamS I sed dis: {{{{{SamS}}}}}
Ohai Aahz n elfi! Hoo R SamS? Adn happitayl tew heers JCH4K is doon ok inna Jermyin!
SamS b Scotch and More Scotch.
Her ben in deh horse pistul — PLEH!!
Going home — YAY!!
Oh fankoo! Yes, ai noes taht naym dint rekonize teh nishals
Yay frum me 2! Happitayl her is goen hoam frum teh horspistul!!
fanks cweenmj fur da update!! itz good 2 hear dat janet iz going gud!!
she iz a cheezy frend who will not be forgetton..
Gesundhite.
wakaremasen.
Konban wa, gma! O-genki desu ka? Nihongo wa hanashimasu ka?
conkaratelashunz on klebber comet!
song n danz?
no haz sushi, pero tengo ceviche. ¿quiere Ud.?
I nomz summa da sooshee, but nawt liekz da ceviche *pleh* But fankee ennywaiz…
I’ll has yoor ceviche Aahz. I lerves it!
*NomNomNomNomNomNomNomNom*
*Buuurrrrrrrrrpp!*
Oops! ‘Scuse me!
Maus! U gotz da taybul mannurz uv EM! Haowd dat happinz? I thot U wuz uh gud maus…
Well… as tehre is a liddel bit of gud in EM, tehre is purrhaps a wee bit o’ Ebil in me…
Besydes, I is a guy. Bad tabul mannurs is owr birthrite…
Oar sew mai 2 boicatz wood habz me bleev…
Ohai Mais Oui! Fanky muchlee! Haow bowt sum sake oar Kirin bier, den mebbe we kood dans 2 da theem 2 “Karate Kid” – “Mowmint uv Troof” bai Servyver
Ohaiya, kitteh. Hao iz vyoo frum up dayr?
Him’z a strawng kitteh
woodn u no it!
at leest tree uv us think so!
Oak, Ai dinn’t ash yew
Ai’m gonna branch owt n dissagree.
Tyme to leef off wif da bad puns, ai finkso.
Fir hebbens sake!!!!!
We needs to root out teh cause ov dis…
Doan balsa me rownd…
dis stems frum a lack of dissiplines, ifinks.
u gonna stick it to’em?
Woodja plz stop!
U nawt liekz deze punz? Walnut?
Once upon a pine,
dere waz a liddle acorn…
no need to bark, DK!
Go on wif ur storee Romeow…
r there skwirrlz in it?
ai onlii want 2 heer dis storee if itz sappy.
Yew ar awl sew knotty!
luk hoo came owt of teh woodwerk!
hai smom! how is u??
Ai am Pear tew middlin’!
Bower yew?
Sunuva birch! Deze punz r bad!!
Yew arbor ill will(ow) cuz ob taht?
Noe, I nawt can haz ill will(ow) — I jess pecan awn U!
Dey were startin 2 fite…Ai haz to keep dem apart!!
“M I gunna hafta sitz bitwean U 2?”
Ai’m treyein 2 luk kewl….Ai akshuly stuk….erm…Halp!
issa kitteh eatin ent?!?!
*Waves floofee pawz in a norfeesterlee direkshun*
Hai sweet mother of mars!! How b u and awl deh liddul marshunz??
Wii ar awl dewN fyne!! Wuz yr driev bak peas full & uneventfull?
*waves stick-like arm towards Ohai desert laek*
Ai reeeeeeelii Njoid meetN yew, (awl ob yew, rillii) an cannoe wayte fur “avter Laboring dae/befoer snoefall!
say….arnt dose da trees that was in LOTR!
dose were ji-ents!
Der………………..Ai jus got it…lol
LOLZ!!!
@@@@@!!!!!
Sampson Kitteh is doin’ his thing…
whatebber u do, dont shayv hims floof
no shavin uv ennee kittehs- iz immodest.
not to menshun shavin kittehs issa sin.
good job gwasshopper!
…mr miyagee is teh prrrrwoud.
jus lyke given birf—do the splits over a carton of dynamite
I iz imitating the squirlols
does U lyke mah imitashun?
yor lankwidge iz 2 kleen to be a swirl, an yu iz nawt hyper enuff. uther than that, verree gud!
gymnast cat purr pears foar Olimpiks eben on bakashun in hoapz o re plaicing injur’d Hamm.
He be gud, tu! Gold furshur!
I nawt jimnast, but speekin uv goald I gunna tayk dis oppertoonittee 2 mayk uh sef-survin uhnownsmint.
…
Sevrul CheezFrinz wuz askinz win mai nekst ays-skaytin kawmpatishun wuz gunna b. Waol, itz gunna b at da Peech Klassik awn Awgust 30-31 at da Ays 4um n Duluth, Jorja. 4 doze uv U n da Hotlanta erryuh, mebbe we kood mayk uh CheezMeet owtta da ebbint as whale. As da tym gitz cloasur, I’ll poast moar deetaylz rigardin da skedyool uv mai purr-tickler ebbintz. N da meentym, heerz uh leenkee 2 da kawmpatishun payj:
http://www.gafsc.org/peachclassic/index.htm
…
We naow ritern U 2 ur regyoolurlee skedyoold proegrammin…
pssst- Aahz! proposiing a Cheezmeet iz NOT a sef-survin uhnownsmint. It b gud fer ebbreewunz!!
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speeking uv Cheezmeetz… deh Yakitup in Yakima wuz a grand sukksess!!
Dere wuz 6 uv us (plus assortid doggeez, kidz adn signifikent uzzerz) dere adn wii reelee yakked it up!!! It wuz beeing deh sekkund tyme I meetinged uzzer Cheezpeepz adn I luvinged it. If enneewun else gettingz deh chance to meeting uzzer cheezpeepz I hi lee rekker mending it.
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Korse, it awlwayz b best 2 taking nermel prekawshunz wen meeting “unknown” peepz deh nawt-sekkund tiyme. Haz deh nishul meeting in deh public place … motel, rester aunt, etc. Kuz, eeben on ICHC, u duzn’t REELEE b noeing hoo u will b meeting.
Um, hoo iz u ennewai??
Ohai 4.5K! Dew U meen me oar cweenmj? I b me…
Bak n Joon I hadded uh figger-skaytin kawmpatishun dat sum CheezFrinz wuz follerin. Seamz minnee peepz liekz da figger-skaytin. I poastid sum pix uv me awn mai proefyl ifn ur innerstid…
Ai meended cweenmj – ai wuz being silleh!
But fanks fur teh info abowt ur skating – dat’s wai kool! Ai alos lubs teh figgur skating adn watch it whenebber ai can.
Ai wud lub to taek part inna cheezmeet but ai wud hab to trabel to teh yoo ess eh?, ai finkso!
Shirley dere b moar Cheezpeepz in Oh Kananada???
I know this will shok u but I luvs figyur skating too DK!
Do u nawt have a passport? U wud be elleagal alien?
*Q Twilite Zone musiks*
Yas, ai habbing a passport. Illegal alien wud be moar fun, tho!
Der used to being a cuppel ob udder cheezpeeps frum VLC, but ai hazzn’t seeing dem in ajes.
Oooh- kyuut piks!
Troo dat, cweenmj!!1! Da skaytin reenk will b fulla peepz, incloodin sum IRL frinz, sew I nawt 2 wurreed, n neevur shood enny uvver CheezFrinz hoo kumz. Derez uh nys rester aunt dere ware wee cood nom n tawk n stufz, awl steel inna publik ayz. It wood b uh gud plais 2 meet, I finksew…
I wishez I kud b dere. *sigh*
Mebbee I gets to seeing u sum uzzer tyme. And I b prettee shur uv deh peepz b4 I meetingz dem, but I wuz just offering gentul reminder 2 awl, dat der b sum strainj peepz owt dere, adn i doant meen strainj in a gud way.
N wat un impoartint rimyndur it iz, 2. Ennywun kin givz un ayleeyuss n habz uh kyoot abatar, wyl at da saym tym can haz ebil moativz. But awlsew, we can haz noe idear hoo b lurkin rownd heer, wevvur oar nawt dey iz ebben sined up awn ICHC. Datz Y I nawt givz enny purr-sunnal info n uh publik 4um, nawt ebben mai e-meow addy.
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I wood liek 2 haz uh CheezMeet at da sk8tin kawmpatishun cuz itz inna publik plais, I gunna haz IRL frinz rownd, n itz gunna b lawtsa fun!! I noez uvva fyoo CheezFrinz n da erreeyuh, n I hoapz dere b moar win da tym kumz…
I ♥ Aahz
Awwww
I ♥ cweenmj bak
Oh, cween, r U gunna habz da hows awn weelz dawn n dis erreeyuh rownd dat tym? Wood b grate 2 c U IRL!!!
Wii b in Orygone awl summer. den hed 2 Texis fer deh winter. No jorja in deh neer fyucher fer us.
Oh, whale … mai loss…
ai’ll sho doez dum moobie stewdy-os dey neber shuld hab cast a goggie fer Hong Kong Phooey. Hai-YAAAAAAH!
Split it wif himz tayl noe less.
U iz m-pressd? U wantz tu goe owt an get cheezburgrz sumtaim?
LOL!!!!!!
Dat’s sum kitteh!
aid go owt wib dis kitteh ebben if it cudnt split twees… is such a purty une. an ob cors… id nebber pass a chanc fur a cheezpurrrrrrgar…
cheezburger!!
must….hab…..WANT!!!1!!
Hai Yah!!!!
*hedbonk*
Ow! taht wuz mai hed!
o hai Africat!!1!
how iz ur little kitteh doing??
sentry cat is luking fur enemy goggies
enemy goggiez spotted!
EXECUTION stance, initiated…
Chuk Norris kitteh chops woods wif bare paws! next time, he be usin hiz beerd
Chuck Norris cat duzzent go around trees, he goes rite frew ‘em.
“Diz pawsishun iz nawt sew comfee, akshully. Ai’d much purr-furr teh burd howse up heer, speshully wen it raynez.”
ai thot yu prefurred to be unner teh bed wen it raynes.
Dat’s wut teh kitteh sed, nawt mi. Ai purr-furr 2 be inna bed wen it raynez, nappin.
itz ben raynin in teh affernoons here, itz sew nise, kuz it kools everything off and teh thunnnder iz rillee lowd. We opens up teh windoes an kurls up onna cowch.
Iz berry hawt heer, anna A/C dyed yesterdai at werk. Wii gots fans ebberyware.
duz teh spin arownd an sey ‘yer number 1′ awl teh tiem?
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ime glad taht tehy finallee ficksed teh AC at werk- nao itz nawt a giant freezer.
**heddesk**
Ai wish it wuz a freezur heer. Ai’d rathur b cold tahn hawt. If ai’m cold, ai can put onna swetter. If ai’m hawt, ai kant take nuffin awf wifowt teh co-wurkers complaynin.
Mai oh Mai!!! Ai’m hawt alla tyme. Mai Menopaws, let me sho U it! Changing klose n sheets alla tyme.
Ai prolly nawt far frum taht lubly ’speriense, maiself. Ai’m inna erlee 40’s.
Iffin yew can, see bowt nachural hormaon replaycmnt, reely halps wiff teh flashes adn crankees, truss me!
ime teh opposit- but tehn, ize had hypothermeeuh (gettin rillee kold an trunin bloo) wen it wuz 76 degrees.
as lawng as ai has plentee uv watter and sum shade, ime okee wif teh heet.
..
ai noes! as soon as scottee gets teh transporter ficksed, we kud trade plases! yoove alweyz wanted to werk inna librerree, rite?
Shure, ai will werk in a liberre. Ai can reed alla tyem?
Hao bowt u? U wanna luk at teh menz in yooniforms? Ai sware, u kuld put the fuglyest man inna tihs yooniform an eben him wud luuk gud!
wut kinda yooniforms?
..
an iz a kollig liberree, soze mostlee we iz kursin teh construckshun peeps whu didnt finish b4 we mooved in an moovin books soze they luuks pritee.
U bettur 4-warn teh goggie, cuz wen ai get dun wif tihs tree, ai’m gonna open up a beeg can uv whipp-arse on him next!
Hai! Hoo wantz an eerwurm?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpA2tMrQ4RU
Ohai rhsb! Grate comintz! Speekin ob dansin, has IDDD ben heer laytlee?
rhsb, yu iz bein ecksepshunallee ebil diz mornin… hao kin ai helps?
eerwurm! ack! ai can haz de-wurming? plzkthx!
Ai nawt ebil….ai’m jes drawn taht wai.
Rogger Rabbitt FTW!
Mai Jessica Rabbit luuk-a-lyk-edness, let mi show u it.
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NAWT!
i’ll show da eer-wurmz mah kitteh foo! WAACHAAA!!!1!! *back bone cracks* ouch!!1!
superkitteh to da resque!
Mi Kitteh-Foo, it haz a strong!
Your Kitteh-Foo… ur doin it rong!
Kitteh has unagi! Ah, salmon skin roll.
Hoo needs a herring
For teh mityest tree in teh forrist?
Karate cat maeks kindling
Fyrewood, lumbur, an moress!
we’re having an eqrthquake here right now!!!
oh noes! kwick! get unner teh desk/tabul and watch for flyin mice!
LOL
OMGWTFBBQ!
Ware r u?
B SAEF!!!!!!!
Fur reel? Wher R U?
A 5.6 in Chino Hills (about 80 miles away from Simi Valley), felt all the way to San Diego & Las Vegas.
Ur OK, rite?
just upgraded to a 5.8, still centered in Chino, aprx 30 mi East of downtown L.A. where all the reeeeeely big buildings. Was weird (at home), just came into office from kitchen, opened door and mini blinds were rattling, thought the air of the door opening did it. Then my head got really dizzy and the blinds got very rattly, chair rocking. I’m all fine here, kitteh was NAWT pleezed akshully! Has this look on his face like “Moooommmmm, Y dis hapin, flor awl shaykee?”
Yes, thank all of you!!! {{{frenz}}} I’m fine here, just a little nervous. 1 small picture fell of a doorway ledge (I know, dumb place!!). Just had to email my husband who’s in an older concrete building with heavy machinery that was moderately damaged in the 7.9 ‘94 Northridge EQ.
Ohai, felloe Cali-dwellurz. Gud hiir two. All kittoonz fyne. Waterhiitur fyne. Gas fyne. Wiir gud tew goe. (BIG sye uv reliif an gratefullness)
Gud tew heer yew bof ar fyne!
Teh quakes ar liek a box ob choklits…
Luklii yew tew dinnoe get teh yukkii wun tihs tiem!
Bii kynd tew kittoonz ur tehy wil annaihilateyu!
‘moarning/afternune, fikshunkitteh. Wut’s shakin’?
*kiss on cheek*
Da erf is!!!
*runs rown wayvin paws, twichin tayl n wiskurs, hayer up bak*
Da skai is fawlin, Da skai is fawlin, Da skai is fawlin!
*Slapz*
Whoa! Fanks slef fur hazing me unner cuntroll.
Ebryfing ok heer, fanks fur axing!
*shmoo*
oh naow yew sho’s up!!! *grumpel, grumpel*
Ai replyd b4…grumbl
Teh erff!!
*runs rown paws wayvin inna ayer, tayl n eers twichin, hayer awl up onna bak*
Teh skai is fawlin! Teh skai is fawlin! Teh skai is fawlin!
*slapz slef tew shudder up*
OWW! Y u doo dat??!!!!!
oh, um ok…fanks ai finkso
Aslo sed b4:
Fanks fur awl consernd, we fyn heer! Hoap nightshayde is ok tew! She inna SoCal lyk me…
brb
*goze to chek awn nightshayde in nekst fred*
Haaa Haaa ha ha ha ha
*schmoo*
LOL kitteh gibz lekshur awn teh halves adn halve-knotz.
comintz been held up bai wierdpretzel!!
ai’z lessenin’ nao…gew ahed.
pls tew C abov^
bad pun awn mai part
haow’s nightshade?
She laffin it awf, nawt looz lectri city, sew nawt too bad. She rite akchully! Wuz skeery 4 a fyoo. R U habbin a beddar dai? ai lef u moar comintz on pelikan fred…yur ichc profyl hab no emayl ref…
Ka-chop!!1!
…Okey nao how I gets down?
:O
Eben treez ‘fraid uv Chuk Noriz kitteh!
his karate amazesz me.
mai I ask hao u do dat?
This photo has been taken by Xena_2008
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8740272@N04/2024225339/
If you want to know how I’ve done it you can ask me on Flickr’s comments.
It will be a pleasure.
Kitteh bees masture ov awl hims surveyses; naow awl hims hasta duu iys figger aowt haow tuu geyt daown and hims wil bees guud tuu goe!!!!
Kitteh-san!
Breev in…breev owt! Do like Meowagi duz..
These comments have been automatically translated, right?