Anger management classes
Anger management classes not going so well akshually
purrhaps u needz 2 count down frum 10.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: rComplex
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Aiz nawt angree — aiz hongree!
Congo-Rats on nawt second
*duz a erfshaek dans*
…
We jus had a 5.8 erfshaek heer a fyoo minnits ago. Wheeeeee!
So… the earth moved for you, eh?
an it duznt moov fore yu?
O MAI, yes!
…
An mai huzbin was in anudder area uv town compleetlee!
♪♪♪ “I fealz da urf moov unner mai featz…” ♪♪♪
5.8? Pshaw! That’s enough to scare the tourists away, is all!
Like me!
LOL! Some people here got freaked out, but I figured that if I still had electricity, it couldn’t be all THAT bad.
Felt stronger than 5.8 though… prolly ’cause the building in which I work is on rollers or something (helps buildings to sway rather than crack under earthquake-related stress).
Whew, releebed yew R ok, nightshayde!! R U inna downtown LA?
Nope — norvurn LA Cowntee, mebbe 25 miles norfeest uv downtown. Mebbe nawt kwite dat far. Deyz downgraded it nao to 5.4. *shrug*
And fanks, fikshunkitteh.
Ok, berry gud! Fax keeps chaynginged, nao sane sumfing bowt passy deena…:?:
ohohoh, we gawt reltibz in Pasydena but huzbum sez hab nawt sed ennyfing awn nuze abowt.
Nao nawt heers ennymoar…prolly wont git awlla reel fax n figers til mush layter oar tumarow… jess glad nobudee (so far) gotses hurtz.
Wao! U Californyans R braev. U rock (oar izzit swai?).
Calimariphonians aer Sultans ob Swing.
I werkded wif dis wun gurl heer frum Cally4nyuh win we hadded da urfshayk heer n Jorja bak n 2003. Herz hubby wuz uh naytiv Jorjun n nebber bin throo urfshayk b4. Himz jumpted owtta bed hollerin “Wat wuz dat?!? Wat wuz dat?!?” Herz roald obber n yawnded “Urfshayk — goez bak 2 sleap”
…
Herz bin throo sevrul urfshaykz, I finksew…
I talked to mai liddul 4-yeer-owld dottir. She apparentlee speeks teh lolspeek.
“Mommy – der wuz a erfshaek an ai feeled it!”
Kyoot!
Yep, it bees cawmin heer, moast peeps (rok) n roll wiff it
lessin yur atta epysentr.
But moastlee we dont hab tu dig owt ub snoze awl wintur. Dat iz skary tu me.
Or wurry bout hurrycames. I knoes wut to do fur hurrycames, but I’d be clewless in a earfqwake. Seems like evvery part of teh country is vunera….vulnearab…vulverabl…..gots sum kinda potentch… potenmpt…putenshal… mayby hav prollems ov nature.
Teh niec fing abowt erfshaeks iz dat deyz ober in less dan a minnit (yoozhully). Stuff stopz shakin & yew goes on wif yer day. Eben if dere is damage, itz nawt a hole town wiped out — and yew can still usually get to yer stuff.
Wheee! Dat WUZ a fun kwayke! Mai snayk wuzzint so happee, but de boids iz finlee kwiyit!!
No dammij heer, essep da fonez wuz all borkt fur a bit. Dey mite wanna ficks dat befoar da nex BIG WUN!
Stoopit kwayk waket me up. Needa nap…
Ohai! Ware yew lib, onceajinx?
nawt ebun!
Oooo, sew yoo b in teh LA aireuh? I’z up in teh SF aireuh and hazent had wun in awile (feengers crosst!).
Ahai Eve! Ai gru up n yoosta lib in San Jose menny yers ago. Seems qai merember teh lastyme wuz erfshayk dare, twuz purdee big, no?
Loma Prieta wuz big in San Jose! Ai wuz in mai offiss in San Francisco. Ai haded a hard tiem gitting hoem to teh eest bae. It wuz big enuf in SF. San Jose? I wud not want!
Udderwize, we jus git smallish wuns laetly, like 3-ish.
Ohai, fikshunkit, Ai stil in sj. wur yu heer in ‘89? Dat wuz signifkant. nawt secund tiem Ai wuz a bit skairt. b4 dat ai yel at mai kid”wut yu duin naow?”
Ohai gwgs! LOL bowt kidlet. Noes ai leff SJ in ‘78…twuz abiggun! Mai gramuh twerktd inna Emporium n wuz inna bak storij ruum, she goted rillee skeered, power awf, bokses fawlin, her trapeded. She wuz ok inna end, moslee skeered. Wut part ob sj yew in iffin yew doan myn me axin?
Ai’m abowt 3 milez souf ub wwair Emporuim wuz. It wud indede be skary ina bak rume. wun owr nayburz toylit borked. Ai hab plantz awn shelf fal nd bork nd gallun ub binigur wuz up awn shelf wif dor opun so ai warsh flor in bingur. did a gud jawb.ai be mor kerful shutting dorz sins .
Inna ‘94 Northridge erfshayk, we hadda reely wild ryd!! alla dishes n glasis on eest-west walls cummed flyinged owt ob cubberds, udder stufz on norf-sowf walls nawt sew bad akshully. Teh olny dishes nawt borked wuz in dishwasher. Ai’ll nebber furgit dat nite, wokuss up inna erly dark ferty. Funee hao we asimylayt tew moast fings…
We hadn’t had wun in a wile down heer, Eve. Well — liddul tinee wunz, but doze doan rillee cownt.
Funneh oar tayk ondis, free n for poynters ‘doan rillee cownt’ !! Cood joo majin wut peeps frum udder coast be finkin?
Wimps!
A few months ago we hadded a 1.8 just outside of Warshington DC. I felt it but at teh time wasn’t sure it was a earthshake or not. It felt like when teh AC in a big orfis building shudders on or off only it lasted longer and I was at home at teh time, not at work.
But when u isn’t used to that sorta thing it gets ur attention, even if California peeps don’t bat a eye at a measly 1.8.
Oh it gotted mai ‘tenshun reel kwik lyk. Aigesso dare be erfshayks ebry wears, butts yew rite, wen nawt yoosta dem, kin be pritty shakee.
.
.
.
*heddesk*
o yea, we had 1 in Wichmond about 3-4 years ago. We thought it was in the air conditioning. I was @ Westbury Pharmacy…yes, Elliot Yamin’s workplase! when it hit.
ohai, nightshayde! Mai brudder and SIL r gowing down tew San Gabriel soon. Wunder if dey will feel aftershakings. SIL’s father died Sunday so dey’s gowing 4 funeral (wich shuddent begin with “fun”). Nees and neffew mite get a kik owt uv a shake.
{{{Eve}}} {{{Eve’z famblee}}}
I jess gotted bak frum fyoonrul 4 mai momcatz seestur. Nawt fun, ebben wifowt urfshayk. I hoapz deyz trabble iz sayf.
Tanks, Aahz. Dey’s driving frum Sacramento, bowt 400 myles. Dey gots a Prius nao, gud gas myluj. Yeah, nawt fun, but he wuz berry ill 4 long tiem sew iz kind uv blessing. Ai diddunt knoe him too well, he’z mai brudder’s FIL.
Sawwy baot yur momcatz seetur.
Fank U Eve. Yeh, sumtymz win uh purr-sun bin sik uh lawng tym it kim b uh blessin. But mai auntee wint reel suddin-liek. Mai momcat tawkded wif herz 2zdai n sed dere wun nuffin rong, den Windzdai herz had merjinsee serjuree, den Furzdai herz krawst da brij. Noebuddee wuz purr-paird 4 dat. Da seelbur lynin is dat it ternded owt 2 b teh cansur, sew mebbe dis spayrd herz frum dat lawng drawd-owt sikniss dat noebuddee liekz…
{{{Eve n fambly}}}
Plz tew be nowing taht wii keeps yew in R harts ♥♥ n fots fur awl to be sayf. Sry fur yer loss {{{Eve}}}
{{{Aahz}}}
Sew sawree fur yew adn famblee♥♥ Yur antee nao bees yur gardy n anjel wochin owt n ober fur yew n yoars. {{{Aahz}
Shur a lawt ub fyunrulz going awn. ennybuddee heer frum Janet yet?
Yesh, gma — cweenmj poastid un updayt awn da preeveeyuss fred … Elfinugget awlsew poastid wun bowt SamS
Goe n c 4 ursef…
Yes gwgs, cween gots a tex msg frum her, C prebeeus karate cat fred neer tawp @ 6:58am ichc tyme.
Fanky FK — see kawmint beloe misplaysded bai WerdPretzel…
ooooh whar iz yew ???? 5.8 iza predy guud sizeded wun …..ebberywun ok???
Conga ratz nightshayde! GMTA!
Hao u liek to sillybrate macramay?
hello kitteh toste?
.
z bred wif teh shape uv hello kitteh burned into itz flesh.
Mmm…. wif buddur & shoogur & cinnamon, yes plz! An we kin do teh hippy hippy shaek (cuz uv teh erfshaek).
bred has a flesh?
Onlee when needed…
so bred can has a tatoo?
Y U aks? U have teenaj bred?
Pleh. Teenaj bred. DO NOT WANT.
noes! I has no bred at all.
Wate. R we still talking abowt bred?
want sum tosted buns to go wif yor hello kitteh sinnamin toste?
Will these buns do?
R they fresh??
*inspekts YNG’s buns*
…
That’ll do pig. That’ll do.
LOLZ!!!
I fink da ol laydeez lookin at da buns iz da fresh! LOL! Down, koogrrrz!
Hoo yew callin “ol?”
*stares*
Da noo n improovded NB iz oapin naow — U shood b maykin ur wai dere rite naow, I finksew…
Oh, nightshayde — U gunna bern uh hello kitteh tattoo n2 doze bunz ur inspektin?
Aahz is right. Hot buns will be served in the NB in a few minutes…
dey is always best hot!
dat way teh butter melts kwicker…
*runs wiff swifniss nokkin udder kittehs down*
sry
Looooook ooowt!!
*slapz slef tew stawp teh crazee*
OOWW!!
Y u dew dat??! Oh…um, fanks?
*Halps fawlin kitteh up*
Ai sowry, R U ok? Is yew hert? Can ai gib yew a chonklit martoonie adn a sawftee blankee fur cumfert frum mai roodniss? plz?
Hay! Wate a minnit! Ai nawt finnished wif teh YNG!
but how did we know?
did u leeve a thai on teh doornob?
No, teh tie wuz bein uzed….
But I escaped anyway…
Nawty boi!
Me naughty??!! Tell everyone what you were doing with the pancake flipper…
sownds like these be hot CROSS buns.
Um…..flippin pancakes?
Aiz nawt gonna burn ennyfing intew teh YNG’s buns. Dat wud be meen. Ai kud draw on teh buns wif markurrs, tho. Wen teh buddur haz awl been likkedoff.
Wii nawt eben tawlk about teh Bust Dustur….
Y doan U yooz da kullerd buddur? U kin gitz it n peenk n bluu as whale as regyooler yeller…
Is funnee.
Heer sea
http://www.amazon.com/Hello-Kitty-Toaster-KT5211/dp/B00021HBU4
Itz amayzin wut dey haz wif Hello Kitteh onnit. Mah fren went to Japan & saw a … um… “purrsunul massajur” (wink wink, nuj nuj) dekorayted wif teh Hello Kitteh.
Watz reelee amayzin iz wat dey haz n Japan n jenrul…
Dey haz stufz dere datz nawt ebben fit 4 da noo NB 
Nawt dat derez ennyfing rong wiffdat.
Aifinkso mose kulchers bees lessin hibit ted dahn mose merikans, cept fur mebbeh izlambs, nawt sher…
*nod* *nod* Teh sooper-relijus uv awl kindz haz moar hibitz dan teh non-sooper-relijus, aifinkso. But dey haz sum odd stuff in Japan — like yew kin get undeez in vending masheenz. Pre-worn undeez.
Aiz moastly open-minded, but THAT seemz a liddul odd.
C? Wattid I taylz U? I wooden wont sumboddee elsiz yoozded undeez ebben n da NB… *pleh*
Debreefing, yes.
Rebreefing, not sew grate ackshully.
Awredee brokes in panteeZZ! Nawt Want!!! pleh pleh gag
Ohai, Aaahz, yu refur tu “nu” nb. ub wut iz bilt? nawty pine?
Ohai gma! I dunno wat awl da kunstrukshun werkerz yoozdid, but it wood (skyooz da aksidintul pun) mayk sintz 2 yooz nottee pyn!
…
Did U ebber c da pitcher uv da oald NB awn fyr?
No, ai mist dat. must hab bin maus nd leeza playing wif zippo agen wifout enuf seltzer.
Datz ZAKLEE wat it wuz, but ‘twernt Maus oar Leeza-b … Goe bizzit da fred n reed awl bowtit:
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2008/07/23/funny-pictures-porches-when-i-see-dis-fireman-stuck-in-tree/#comment-388678
Dis wun?
newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44867000/jpg/_44867944_weston_fire_226×282.jpg
(itz awlsew uh gud fing dat da CCC croo had jess gotted uh noo fyr truk wif uh Hy-Ryz ayreeyul adn uh beeg waddur nozzel, but 2 bad dat da nawt-sekkund tym dey yoozded it dey wuz gittin LCB daown frum uh hy plays n aksidintlee soekded herz wiffit… )
Ai has a sad. Dey aar awl soled owt. Mai dortur wud lub tu hab fur hur birfdai. aifinkso.:lol:
no gma! U can still has!
it’s onlee Amazon that’s sold owt.
Look farthur down, where it says ‘used and noo avalabul’.
U can get one from Tar-jet!
oh, fankz, leeza. Aifinkso ai wil send hur da linkee . she mite awlredy hab wun. She maid hur selfone luk liek hello kitty . She just a liddul gurl, 47 yeerz owld.
Yer sweater: it haz a flaver…
- or -
FEED ME! NOW!
- or -
Daddy! Daddy! Swing me!
ime nawt respawnsibull fore mai behavyor wile starvin.
Yew aer nawt starbing. Yu’ve eeten:
Aligators
Bank managers
Chikkins
Ducks
Elifonts
F…
Frankenfurter
Gravee awn a heep ob masheded taters
Hyooj amownts ob goggie fud
Is creem – LOTS ob it
J…
Firemenz
Gushiefood by the truckload
Hooman food by the boatload
Jabberwokees
Kanga ruz
Lepurrds
M…
Mocha Cheesecaek
Nuddur Buddurs
Ooey gooey dessurtz uv awl deskripshunz.
P…
Phishees by da bukkit
Quince jam on lamb
Roast rarebit
Salmon Sooflay
Tongues, you gotz em…
Underfed Fleedermees
V…
Veterinarians
W…
wipkreme n strewberiz
Xtra helpin of veternarianz hoo tinkz we shud diet
Y..
don’t make me say it!
okays.
YNGs
and
Zebras
Gud wun!
Has a nies ebening, leeza!
Yak
Zeebra
buuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrpppppppppp!!
‘Scuze mii!
GMTA!
Or… ARE alike….
* in Frisco bay der libbz a whale,*
* she eetz pork chopz bi teh bale*
*an by teh hogzhed, *
*an bi teh skoonur*
* an sumtymez, bi teh pillbokz*
*Her naem iz Luna,*
* she’z a peech*
*but dont leeve fuud*
*wiffin her reech*
*oar Behbehz*
*oar nursemades*
*oar choklit I screem sodaz*
deep breffs… take deep breffs… now take ur poynty ends owt….
wich poyntee ends do yu want remooved furst soze ai kin remoof tehm last?
LOL! So twoo!!! So twoo!!
Ai wuz purrvoked
Ur sweatr iz a fuglee culler
yu put teh DVD in teh rong spawt an nokked over teh VHS…
librerreean kitteh duz nawt take kindlee to misyooz uv her stuff.
Ai has anger – Ai manaj to byt yur arm off – wot’s teh prollem?!
Ambercat’s Guide to Manajing Anger: Promowt it tu CEO.
No gushifud, eh? Taek dat!!!
Kittehs can mayk deir own gushifuud – owt ob hoomins iffen necessary.
My eerz is bak cuz aifinkso dey luk seksi dat way.
kitteh, yu luk seksi neway.
NOM NOM
NOM
NOM
NOM NOM
Izzat a kitteh oar a goggie? Iz BIG!
*ziiing* ooh luks out, 4.5k, use mite b necks for dat one.
donchu wurree hyoomen, teh demon hand is incopasitated nao… hurree an exorcise it!
Kitteh NAWT in hims happee plaec.
Mike Tysun kitteh sez “Ai noms ur eer next!”
LOL
Videoz store manager catches shoplifter.
literallee.
Teh KITTENATOR roolz!
YOU NO FEED MEH!?
AI NOM ON YUR ARM THEN! NOM NOM NOM!!!
Bonding wif ur hooman – ur doin it rong.
tehy sed covalent bond, nawt ionik bond.
Ionik ore ironic?
We can has kemistree?
Iffen yu groe a crystal garden, yu can haz a chemist tree.
dese dayz habing a kitteh
mite cost U an arm and a leg
at verree leest, itll cost yu teh flesh uv yer forearms an teh legs uv yer pants… (ize ben playin wif bebbee kittehs, an nao ize awl skratched up).
an how ai envy u fur taht *sighs*
mai kittes thinq is to hawt fur da playin wib dems hoomin… wich wud be me
teh bebbees think ai iz a junglol jim… up wun side, lawnch offa teh uther side, rownd teh room and bak agen!
Kittehs and Puppehs think hoomins is wurm-bludded furniture! …or wurm-bludded scritchin’ post.
Ayngrrr manijmint??!? I thot dis wuz da Nigella Bites cookin shoa!!
(I wanna b n da stoodeeyoe awdeeyintz)
For the LAS taim:
Taik diz offa mai neck!!!
aize nawt gothic punk goggee kreecher!
An u shud no bai nau!
Kitteh iz teh newest employee at
teh Red Cross Bloodmobile.
I r glad 2 sea nightshayde an’ fikshunkitteh r OK.
Awww – fanks, oobark!
Off topic: Anyone like their kitties LARGE?
http://www.1010wins.com/44-Pound-Cat-Up-for-Adoption-in-South-Jersey/2685632
(Dont remember how to set up link, but copy-paste should work.)
Dat kitteh weighs moar dan mai 4-yeer-owld liddul gurl!
Oar the Savannahs r crazee big in a differenz wai.
Dat kitteh is beeg az mai sebben yeer awld gwandboay! Ty-Ty is liddle foar 2 b sebben, but WAOW! Dat wun piggosoras kitteh!
Ai wunner eff they did the weigh wrong…red it rong ur sumpin….dats awfool big!!! kitteh dohn luk DAT large in pichur.
Jajeh, link twerkd. Nao ai’b seen chubee chaysers, butts…dam!!
Wut haz bin seen cannot be un-seen.
Prolly cuz kitteh iz waring puppeh coller. Prolly.
Yeh, big hebbeh coller iz eggsaperating.
Beeg Gye gawtz Catznipz
awn sleeb ubz shurt andz Kitteh
juss habz 2 hab moar!
Kitteh no habz t3h
‘Angurr Isshooz’. Hurz juss wantz
moar Catznipz ryte NAOW!
Hewmin shoodz reelakkz.
Kitteh maykz shoart sleeb shurt owtz
ubz lawng sleeb kwikklee
Jack.
Fanky FK {{{fikshunkitteh}}}
Yeh, I’d liek 2 fink uv herz as mai gardy n aynjel… I kin heer herz voys jess liek winebber herz wood kawl, herz wood sai “Hello Darlin’!”
Rassen frassen WerdPoopz…
did you try to loosen the collar a bit ?
Hulk kitteh getting angreh…
u no like me when im angreh
rrrraaaoowwrrr !!1!
Oh, i dunnooooo…i likes him pretteh gud…. hee bee pretteh splortee cyoot..
*sigh* I likes teh little black & white wuns.
” but ai tellz yew …..Timmeh” fawled in teh well…..yew gotz tew com NOAW!!!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Dis kitteh bedder nawt coemz to mai haus and nom mai furnichur or he’ll findz owt wut anger reely iz!!!1!
Mebbee, Ai hoep, kitteh bees jes “plaiy-biteing”, liek sumetiems teh kittehs duz;
Iyf kitteh iys sereeouslee biteing, wel, Ai gess tehre bees a praublum: hasta haz psykolaujikal iynturvenshun oar sumefyng!
with kittehs, if they don’t draw blood, they are being affectionate
if they don’t go through to the bone, they are playing.