Nearsighted Kitteh
Nearsighted Kitteh thnks hs glasses r ovr thare
i cant c anyfing wifout mai glasses.
picture: Jess’lyn. lol caption: tammeh
« Previous yes, teh lite gos off | Happiest Next »
» 157 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
-
Who be Talkin'
Cheezburger Network Blog
Kitteh is making a spectacle of hisself.
props on teh top spot and 2 commints in teh furst minnit LCB!
we watch Mr. Magoo cartunes now?
GMTA!
duzzent we alwais?
mai faviritest Christmas show is Mr. Magoo’s Crhirstmas Carrol!
Oh yas! Ai alos LUB teh wun wif Alistir Sim.
Mi 2. “I must stand on my head!”
heloo frens! mr magoo FTW !!!!
Thx! I’ll be right there to join u in teh tvwatchatoruim, just as soon as I find my tv-watching glasses.
But first, I has to find my glasses-finding glasses.
ren’t deh right on ur haid lyke eberrybody whoo luzes der glasses?
LOL – ai wud haz sed taht if yew haddint.
i fink sumboddy sed it down beelow beefor mee!
Oh, grate. Now I can’t find my hed!
Itz rite unner yer glasses, sillee!
Thx. That’s *vry* halpful.
Smartyfloof.
Smartyfloof FTW!
*gigglol*
Ai rezembul dat remark!
der iz sum dayz ai wishez ai culdn’t find mai hed!
but ai iz lukky – ai downt needz glassez oar contact lenzez.
ai be berry happee abowt dat!
WOW…ebbereebudy iz kwik onna keebord dis mawrnin.
CON CAT SHOE LACES **LCB***
nawt mii
Me eevur!
2 rotten nites uv litul 2 nun sleep…Ai runnin a bit slo!
ai just stoopi
o-o I zink you muss refraym dis in a possitive staytment… dees negatibs r not gud for yor selll…slefsteem….u feeling gud bout yerselp
ai can haz guide goggie plz? kthnx
FTW!!!
Ai can’t see eever
Teh pikchoor wazn’t dere wen Ai nawt sekond lukked!
My opia, let me show u it.
Hay! dat wer my opia! did yu taeks it wen ai wuz nawt lukkin?
Oops, sry. I grabbed urs by mistake. I thought it was mines. I need to have teh prescription on my burgular mask checked.
Kyut! youz twoz!
myopic kitteh.. is neersitted!!
no silleh, dey r on your head!!!
I can has awl teh tym n teh whirld tu reed? Ai just niid mah glassez.
Twilight Zone and Cheezburgess Meredith ref, FTW!
Meybe dis kitteh stept on dem lyk Bergyss Merrydis? In da twylite zones?
Iz nawt fayr! Ai had tym! I had awl teh tym n teh whirld!
Jes hold dem up reel clos to yr fase! U can still reed da buks. At leest u not end up in dat TZ episode wheres da doktors wants to gibs u a pigfase! Dere is no comin bak frum pigfase.
Ai luv that pigfase epysoed wit Ellie Mae frum Teh Beberlee Hillbillys!
Yoo noes kittehs nawt heer “To Serve Man.” (thank god for dat)
Noes. Iz Oppozit. I askt my kittehs and dats what dey sed.
Run! Itz a kookbook!
wawch owt fur deh tinks on deh ayrplayn wiings 2!!
hey i founds mah glasses.wait why iz it drooling.O Noes
Haz Ai gots sumfing awn mai noze?
Deweh Desimal kitteh is organzin ur libary
ohai lolnascar! how is u?
Is that why he has a decimal mark on hims face?
ifinkso! Him luks verry seryus.
Lolbrarian kitteh doesn’t want to has to warn u again about putting biographies in wif teh non-fiction.
Dont mayk us sik teh refrenz librerry poleez on yoo . . .
Hi guise
I r good…just too busy all teh time
I be needin skool to be back in seshun so I can play on ICHC all day, lolz
U is a skool principle? Cool!
noes, i r a mom, gotta get rid of mah kids, lol!!
Is der a kitteh in de frij, or am I jus reely, reely hungree?
put ur glasses on, ur on the rong picshure
*snert*
LOL!!
sumtiems ai cant fynd mai glassez witowt mai glassez on.
Amen.
Trai lukkin for a droppd contaklens, wivowt yur contaclenseses in!
yeh, findin the lenses, by braille, iz nawt a happitayle-tyme
speshully in shag carpit.
Ai yushully locayt tehm bai sownd- teh sownd ob tehm crunchin unnerfut!
embarrussing storie:
I had a bad habit uv puttin my contacts in my mouth to rewet them.
Wun time I did this, uh, under teh inflooence… and forgotted I did it.
Aftur a minnit I realized I didn’t feel it in there an I assoomed I swallowed it. Oh noes! But then, when I started chooin my gum agin….. I founded it.
Talk abowt a sikkening crunch….
U can turn off allda lites then use a flashtorch to find them.
Providing that a) u can gets to teh liteswitch wifout stepping on ur lens and 2) u has a flashtorch handy.
Leeza, is there a clapper for contactual lenses?
we shud luk into that, and check wif d’Beaker Labs for lisensing!
Heh. U sed “look into contact lenses.”
Ai got bifowcul wunz soe Ai ware dem awl teh tiem. B4, Ai wuz awlwaiz lukkin 4 mai reedin glassis
ai werz soff kontaklenz, so dey nawt eeben krunch (eksept wen dey dri an krispy).
Wait, I can’t hear you. I don’t have my glasses on.
Hah!
LOL!
Ai r liek dat too. ..sept I arrent kitteh.
Glasses r teh hardest thigns to find…
dey needs to make sum ‘clap on’ glassez.
If I hads one of those whut would happen is I’d clap my hands only to find that I had my glasses in one hand and a anvil in teh other.
now silleh, wut u needs is teh ‘hands-free’ anvil!
I didnot knoes that was available. I can has bluetoof anvil?
ya, teh teknologies are always getting bettur.
The noo bluetoof anvil tucks rite behind ur ear, but u needs an extra larg-n-strong rubbery band to hold it on ur hed. And dat’s extra u noes.
Ha! U think u can separate me from my moneys that easily?
Keep ur stoopy ol rubbert band. I’ll, um, stick wif duktape.
Ouch.
Kitteh iz nawt neer
syted. Himz angree atz Hewminz
4 mooveeng bakkz buukz
Tayks awayz himz Napz
Playssez sinss himz wuz Strypee
Liddill Tukzz Behbee
Ubz coarss Hewminz knoez
‘Dis meenz Wawrr!’ Kitteh prepayrz
2 pullz owtz awwwwllll buukz!
Jack.
Gud poem! Ur rite- mai tuxee babee luvs to hide behind books in mai libraree- den push dem down on floor..
I dont see whut yoo did ther . . .
@@@@@!
although, I heered whut ya did ther…
LOL!
Lybrarian kitteh is displeased wid Ur
talking
Shhhhhhhhhh !!!
I has an OT rekwest for halpful advise, is ok?
Usually with a feral kitten you can coax them with food but if she can’t see, I’m wondering what to do. Anyone have any experience with congenital blindness? Or anything similar? Any ideas at all? Thx!
/lolspeek
I have a little colony of ferals I’m feeding and getting fixed, and two bebbeh kittehs showed up recently. They’re VERY shy but I got a close look at the tortie thru the back door Friday and I think she might be blind. She has those bluish opaque eyes. And the vet told me usually they can’t see when they’re like that.
Kittehs have an excellent sense of smell, so try extra-stinky foods, like tuna, if you can keep the bigger ones from getting it first.
GMSA!
(Grate minds smell alike.)
Barkeep! Tuna for all my cheezpeeps!
Tuna Fishees? That wud be inhaled kwicker than you could say, Here Kit–
Way 2 kwick for the littul shy kitteh to get anny.
/lolspeak
She can probably smell the food.
She can smell, can’t she? Lure her with some tuna.
Otherwise, we’ll get her a seeing-eye puppy, as Jimmba suggested elsewhere on this page.
o hai leeza-b!!1!
if dey r shy an’ blind, dier iz no other option dan strong smelling gushi fud, not da hard onez cauz da kitteh may hab problemz chewing dem and tracking dem wiff out seeing…
i dont akshullee fink dat dey should be blind, wen mah kitteh getz hyper, himz eyez also get circlish and opaque. to test, put a toy maus or burdee frum a little distance frum da kitteh an’ if she reactz to da burdee and startz to NOM, she ok and vice versa….
best wishez fur u {{{{leeza-b}}}}} and ur two shy kittehz!
I hope that once you catch her (and the smelly food will get her for sure) that you or someone will keep her, rather than release her after she’s spayed. If you were near me, I’d take her! (I’m sure my other six would love it)
well ackshully, that’s part of of trap/spay/release programs. You can’t stabilize the population if you don’t return the spayed/neutered feral to where you got it. If you remove the fixed cats, new un-fixed ones will move in and continue reproducing…..
Here’s a link for more info on the organization I work with.
http://www.friendsofferalfelines.org/
But if I can catch this one, and find that she IS blind, of course I wouldn’t put her back out. I would try to keep her, IF Thelma and Weezy would let me. If not, I’d find her a home.
Yes, I trap ferals myself, but I kept one two years ago because she was a munchkin and had already had her leg injured. She is small (even at a year, her short legs kept her small) and couldn’t defend herself well against the bigger cats. I took pity on her and kept her. She loves my other cats! She even sits up like a dog and begs for people food.
And yes! I meant if she’s blind. I think it would be cruel to put her back out there under those circumstances.
I agree! I hope if I do catch her I’m able to get her tamed.
I’ve tamed feral kittens and kept them before, but not like this.
Poor kitteh.
He looks juuuuuust like me trying to find where the toddler has hidden my glasses.
Without my glasses I don’t think I could even find the toddler.
Ai’d dare say u’d here teh toddla be4 u can sees him …
…oar smellz him!
Peeeeeeyooooooo!
He looks just like me trying to find where the cat has hidden my glasses.
Or trying to find wher teh cat has hidden teh toddler . . .
“Ohai, yoo maded meh a toddler but I eeted heem.”
NOOOEZZ!!
hide frum da hooman eating kitteh!
save ur headz!
Yur toddler . . . he had a flavr.
To which I say:
I submitted this, but it never got voted in
*snerk*
…
Akshullee, aiz glad ai wuz nawt drinkin ennyfing wen ai reeded dat. Wudda got awl ober my pyooter.
Cat? We has a cat? Now, where did I put my cat-finding glasses?
iz does annyfing like the cat-eye glassez?
I had does in sekkund grade.
Me too! Mines was pink.
Teh glasses, I means. Not my eyes.
I had bloo cats-eyes.
Den, in seventh grayde I gotted pink oktagons.
Teh pink eyez, dey did not show up til collij.
ZOMG! Ai had blu wuns, too – gotted dem in graed 5.
i had lik, 3prs blo 1s when i wuz kid. ebry 1 made fun o me. i hated de glasses den.
i nos how dis kitteh feelz. sumtimz, my kittehs knock dem offs my nite drsser an in morning, i can’t find. once, after a nap, i had to haf nayboor come halp me findz dem. so mbaaarasing.
this is gettin a littul spooky DK! LOL!
*Knowing Wink*
Ew! Everybuddy stay away from Maus. He’s got teh winkeye!
Teh cat is sittin on dem, LCB.
Then they is nawt cat’s-eye glasses. They is cat-butt glasses!
Um, donawt chew on tehm, kthxtheytastealiddelfunneh.
Ew.
Now, whare did I put my kitteh-smudged-glasses cleaning kit?
cant u just use a handkittehchef?
R u nutz? That would scratch teh lenseses! These is speshul, litewate, non-glare glasses.
*puts on glare glasses and glares at leeza-b*
Or me workin on the pyooter or my art projeks or just ’bout anyting ‘cept for drivin. My frens, speshly Teasle2, tink Ai’m funny puttin in my contax, taking out my contax, puttin on the glasses, takin off the glasses, getting up close and squintin, and so forth.
once a kitteh kiek dis hid mah socks and i couldnt find dem until da next day!
i found out dat dey musta nommed it all nite!
ewww! were dey sopping?
Mahm wuz rite! Dats wut u get 4 sittin 2 cloes 2 teh tee bee.
and de computer!!1!
well, my mam mostly sitz infront of da tv and me on da computer…
and reeding wifowt enuff lites awn.
Ai unnerstandz, Nearsighted Kitteh, an ai want tu snorgleyu.
epic snorgle in 3…2….1… *boom*
Mi 2. Ai feelz teh kittehz pane. Ai’m berry blinded wifowt mai glasses.
Mebbe ai needz seein-eies kitteh?
I dunno bout that, rhsb. Here’s a list of reasons why u should re-think that:
http://www.littlefivers.com/pets/reasons-cats-arent-used-as-guide-animals-for-the-blind/
Gud point, LCB!
Alsew, ai fink teh kitteh wud keep leedin mi 2 teh fudz, an wii wud nebber get ennyware else.
snert
snert, I say
*wanderz away chuckling*
PdB, u is one of teh many peeps what should be writing for Top5 Pets. Why isn’t u? Hmmmm?
Call me collect at lolcatburglar at gmail dot com and I’ll tell u all about it.
lol – ai reeelly laikes numbber sixx!
Sooooo funny!
ok eberyone, iz goin to sleep ,G’nite! *THUD!*
*FALLZ TO DA GROUND WIFF SUM DRAMATIC MUSIC!*
*zZzzZZzZzzzZZzzZ*
*Quietly pads ovva 2 Hashim wif a floofy bloo blankit wif littul kitteh paw printz awn and covvaz Hashim*
Sleep well!
Upfi, would u turn off teh dramatic music while ur over there? I don’t know how he can sleep thru that.
First!
libberian kitteh not want too tell u again too be berry qwiet!!!
Aww, dis iz mah sisturz kitteh – himz naem is RUDY! Ah taekd dis pichur when himz wuz mad at da goggie! Thanx ICHC fer makin Rudy Famiss! =]
Rudy R cyoot wehn hims angree!!
That’ll teach that stoopy dog to bark in teh libarry.
Yay, Rudy!
looks laik mai mum when she traies teh reed da fine print
Kitteh needz glassez to findz his glassez, u see. NO!!1! He duznt see—dat’s wai he needz teh glassez!!1!!
dis not nearsighted kitteh, dis is mommeh kitteh giving littlekittehs teh “Mom Look of Death” if dey don start behaving better!
Yay! I mde it to hom paige!@
omg this is so funny!!
lol
o, heer? I steppd on eet, sowy