I’m in yer weddin dress plottin yer divorce from Jerkface
picture: Krys. lol caption: helynhighwater
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Bridezilla kitteh
wants herz wedding 2 be perfectz
or else shez will not hesitate 2 uze the pointeh endz
Applikayshun uv teh pointii indz iz mos def cawld fur hiir.
Conga ratz awn ur brade, two_kittehs, maus & annipuss!
Hao bout a wedding march adn mimosas?
Happie nawt seckond. Tiem fur sillybrations. Fur de wedding dwinks, champagne…and fur teh dansing?
mimosas and champagne boff sound gud
I lets maus pik deh musiks since he ar berry moosikal
an annipuss can decide what we canz eatz to sillybrate
fanks 4.5 k and mb!
Ai iz berry parshul 2 weddin caek…
How bowt a prawpur beef Wellington, kaws daht needz a hole sirloyn, nawt jst a stake eech?
oooh!
*peeks hed around corner*
deed sum 1 say mimosas?
Mmmmm yumee!
Heer cums teh bryde…
how wuz teh opening nite Maus?
It was great, and the weather was perfect! Although I did do a spoonerism flub on my last line: “Hey fellas! Lets pull them to their train in Surley’s curry!” No way to save that one. And I don’t think anyone noticed: no razzings from my fellow cast members.
Ah, the joys of live theatre…
Surley’s curry: angry spices!
.
Glad to heer eberyfing went wunnerfully, Maus! Yay!!!
If Curly shot a tranquilizer dart into the neck of a big furry wild aminul, would dat be “Curly’s furry wid a syringe on tawp?”
sol, yoo is alwayz teh funny an win!
LOLROFHHS – That is an utterly classic Spoonerism.
Naw, abowt teh kurree, ah leik myn hawt, wit laoz ob unyunz an tomatoez in teh saws.
So gladz it wents well, Maus. I wuz sending gud vibez, 2.
Great spoonerism, too. Next time I maykes a curry, I will callz it Surlys.
Surly curry! LOL!
I fink dat shud be teh first item on the menu at teh noo ICHC Greesy Spoon Café!
Wut else wud be awn teh menu? Let’s see…
Angsty artichoke salad
Baleful banananana bred
Crabbee crabcaeks
D…
Dour donuts
E…
Debilled eggz
Ebil Mausez
Fyree chili
g….
Grate big piles ov choklit
Helfy….well, helfy sumfing, I’z sure
Icy Screems
J…
Oh hai, PB2K! U R bery nimble-pawed 2day! U beat me 2 teh alfa bed.
ohai, upfi! Hao ar fings wif yoo todai?
Gruesome gherkins
Horrible hamburgerz
Insecoore Injin curriez
J…
Jellous Jellos
Kitteh kimcheez
Lolive bred
Mean meetloaf
Nastee noodl soop
Ornery onyun soop
P…
Persnikitteh pastah
Queezy quince pi
Rood relish
Pesky potates
Quarllin quincez
Rascally Rabbits
S…
Snarkee sowrkrawt
Testee tee biskits
U…
ugli undercookd unyuns
vile vinegarz
wikked wattermelluns
X-tra lean burnt bacon
Yukki Yello-tail tuna (spoiled in can)
Zapped (in microwave) Zucchininini Zabaglanoe
.
.
whew
Lonch iz reddee!!!
Concats Maus!
Uz still haz to pick musik for nawt sekund sillybrashunz
we is drinking champagnes and mimosas
and eading beef wellington and cake
is a berry fancy wedding…
theatre? butt…ai thot stagehanddan wuz/iz aour performing artz Cheezfren.
Hai owl!! Haz u red wut wii roted 2 u on deh Pelikan fred?
(May I present to you) {{{owl}}}
we canz onlee hab one?
Ai tole u dat u shudn’t haz marrid him
yoo no needs a man… yoo haz meh!
GMTA, superkitteh!
ahahahha we both sayed the same thing!!!! yoo did furst acshually!!!! cong-rat-ullashuns!!!!
adn yoo haz birfday in two daiz!!!! i iz going to maek yoo a birdie-cake nao!!! wut would yoo likes on it?
A birdie cake! Sounds NOMMY!! Happy birfdais booklion!!!
Can we makes sum suggestyuns for toppings?
Albatross added
Blakburd bits
Catburd crumbs
dickee bird fetherz
extra chz
fings wif beaks
sawwy–missed dubble alpabit…
cwap–i goota go werks fer sum brgrz…hav fun wif dese listssesses…bai
Glorious plumage
Hinges fur teh wingses
Irridescnet fevvers
kool meh haz to bai tikkits now to maek lowng trips to get awl diz toppings! any1 wants comes wif meh?
Oooh, tank yu!!! Iz so eggsited, I didn’t fink any wun wuld notiss.
yoo iz welcum! any toppings yoo wud likes?
lotz uv berries & whippy cream! Thnx!
added in my shupping list!
Gots to go take care ov teh RL now. Thnx fur teh birfdai cayke, superkitteh!
Happi birfdai fur Sumdai 2 booklion, officecat an Wiljam
Sunday iz also birfday ov Officecat and WiljamiDzay.
Happy birfdays to yu guys, tu!
(I won’t be here on Sundya, & if they plays frum works, they won’t be eever.)
Kittehs haz mennee advantijis ober men….
Always clean up after tehselbes in teh bafrum
Be beautiful fur you
Clean their own costyuming (furs, in kitteh case)
D….
yeah! yoo onlee opens door foar meh!
drink frum the noisy bowl
elegant room entrances
floof diving
oh, booklion, u iz so rite! mai kitteh is so much neeter rownd the howse den
mai hubby!
Alwais cum when dinner iz reddee (just use teh can opener)
B**ch – nebber call u dis
Cyoot – alwais!
Donut furget to kleen demselbes
E…
Eatz de leftober fuds wit no komplaynts
F…
Findz lost fings frum little spayces
Gives cuddles & snorgles
Heps get yu up beddereer thn alarum klok
I…
ignoors bad moodz (in fact, halps too chaynge too gud mooodz!)
just beez happee wif u fur noe spesshul reeson
kittehs downt leevs the seet up – (LOL)
L…
Nebbur kloz teh dorrz wehn dhey kum in teh room.
Mai fwiend’s kitteh hates her fiance. She won’t plai wif him, ebben when hims bwings teh catnip plaifings. Iz most sad.
Mebbe kitteh noes sumfing yur fwend duz not….
Awr mebbe nawt. Mah bestestest frend in teh hole whirrled wunc had a kitteh daht nawt leikd mii. We waz frends fur yeers b4 she got teh kitteh, an still ar, yeers aftur teh kitteh krossd teh brij.
True. Kittehs can be teh bery possessive & jelous.
Wehn hubbeh an ai wud play-fite an ai skreemed, Josie wud get inna middlol uv us, maek sure ai wuz okay, and meow lowdlee!
Ai fink hur wuz tellin hubbeh “Doah hurt mai monneh!”
Clever Josie! Good cat! Lots of gushifoods for her! YAY!
yah. he stepz on mai tayl. he lets teh doggeh in. he smels. he dosn pik up aftr himsef. y yu wan to keep somone like tha? y yu nawt spen al yur tyme pettin meh?
Alwaiz a bridesmaidkitteh, nebber a bride
WIN!!!1!
Kitteh sez yu no needz husban when yu haz me!
Tru dat!
WIN!!!!! WIN!!!!!! WIN!!!!!!
ELEBENTY GAMILLION CHEEZBURGERS!!!!!!
This picture is… um… quite topical for you, yes?
Deer Mr. Ebil Maus
wen iz u gonna tell us abowt teh unspeekabull fings u gonna do 2 deer rhsb’ hub (not hubby, himz nawt nice) ???????
Iz classyfyed. Him culd tayle u, but tehn hed havta kill u.
I suggested a couple of things to rhsb last week before she met her lawyer. Biut I believe the group consensus was that a good divorce attorney can do a lot more “damage” than I ever could…
:superkitteh prepares maus-trap and attorney-trap:
yu needz this kitteh on yur doborse lolyers team, rhsb.
Dis pikshur iz PERFECKT!!!!
Okay, kitteh, wat do wii ax 4 inna deevorse?
Awl teh furnishur
Baftub
Cheezburgerz
D…
Dekoratib lighting
Every buk in teh howse
Ford behikuls
G…
ginoarmus ‘mounts ov munnies
happy mem’rees onlee
ice kyoob trays
J…
Giant pyles ov munnies
Hiz shurt off ov hiz bak
Kyte, and tellz him tu go fli it.
J…
GMTA!
Ai forgotted the “I”. Iz sorree
adn put teh “K” b4 teh “J”. Mai alphabet, let me shows u it.
Jooleries
Kids
Lownj chayrs an sofa
Munnies (kant hab 2 much ov dat)
Nommablez–awl uv dem
Orinj kitteh
Preshuz joolz
Quite a bit uv unniez
Reelee big TV
Stereo
T….
Tacks-frei munnycipal bonds
Unlimiteed amounts ub monneh
Valooable ant-eek furnitures
Whatteber wii wantz
X-tra munnehs (no sech ting, but….)
YNGs
‘Zactly as much as is fare, cawnsidering pain an’ suffering.
Gerbil (gotta keep kitteh hunting skillz sharp)
)
Hamster (see above
Ice Cream Maker (nom nom nom nom)
J….
he getz googie, u get me…an awl da chestburgerz
chestburgerz?
i can has chestburgerz????????!!!
is this related to the intraboobular groove?
If u haz to chooz btween guy called JERKFACE and kitteh, alwayz pik kitteh. Kitteh may tries on ur weddin gown, but iz still much less trubble than Jerkface.
Truth! Always pik kitteh over Jerkface. Where was kitteh when I was wit Jerkface? I need a not Jerkface. No wait, maybe just need kitteh!
and, and, iff Jerkface tryes on ur weddin gown, u mite haz problemz u din’t noe abowt bfor weddin!
Disclaymur: Ai knoe taht nawt AWL menz r teh Jerkfayses. Mai hubbeh nawt start owt az a Jerkfayse. Him wuz wunnerful at nawt seckund. Tehn, him turnded in2 hiz daddeh.
An taht’s wen teh fite startid….
Ai still hold owt hoep taht tehre r sum menz inna whirled taht r nawt teh Jerkfayses.
Mebbe wun dai ai mite meet wun ov dem. **sigh**
Dat’s rite, rhsb. There r menny gud men in teh wurld.
So ICHC menz, plz to nawt tayke commintz mayde bout less gud menz purrsonally, kthax.
Wen mai dawter wuz about 3 yrs old, dare wuz a liddle boi hoo sed meen tings tu her (lyke, ur tu small tu plai wif dis toi). Ai toad hur dat won dae she wud meet a boi hoo haz a cloo, adn she sed “reelly, wut’s hiz naem?” adn Ai sed “Ai doant no, Ai’l let u no wen Ai meets him.”
No not all menz iz jerkfaces. Just thought that sumwun wid the firs name of “Jerkface” mite not be a gud bet if a gurl wuz lukking 4 happiness. Yes, mah x-husbin wuz verry verry gud husbin 4 minny yeers. Den about 6 muns ago, he starts 2 b crazy and wants divors, rite away, no counsseling, no separation, jus divorce. I tells my frenz all thru dis dat I don wan to talk bad abt him, bcuz he was gud husbin for long time. He jus crazy now.
Hookycat, wuz wii marryed 2 teh saem man? Mein iz crazy 2!
Ai fink him iz bein possezzed bai teh ebil wun…..moar ebil tahn our oan EM. (Yesh, iz pawsible!)
Wun dai, him gonna waek up an realyze hao stoopy him wuz.
Is posibul! Crazy peopuls cud merry all sorts of unsuspekting gurlz and not tel anywuns… He wen to counsseler wuns the divorse got started– counsellin on hiz own to “wurk thru” hiz feelins, but counsseler made him wurs! He haz a lots of ANGRY now, too.
“Poor fing, him wuz jes a littlol 2 hy-strung.”
(Gess wat moobie ai watched resintlee!)
I iz bad at moobie kwotes!
okkie i takes a guess
Batman?
Mah memry iz horribles… I jus SAW all da Batmans las weeken!
Tombstone?
WIN!
Ai lubs taht moobie. Val Kilmer stolded teh show.
Val Kilmer Tombstone or Val Kilmer Batman?
Ether.
Ai has alwaiz been teh Val Kilmer fan. Eben in Tawp Gun.
and deh movie wid the lions in Afreeka?
he was hot in dat 2
The Ghost and the Darkness, with Michael Douglas. Pritteh gud moovie, but sad ending fur teh lions in that wun.
Tombstone is wun uf owr fayvrit movies! We sez kwotes frum it awl teh tyme.
“I’m your huckleberry.”
Possibly mah fayvrit Val Kilmer movie. Altho The Saint could give it a good run for first playce . . .
Moar Tombstone kwotes, curtesy uv imdb.com:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108358/quotes
Moar on Tombstone . . .
rhsb shuld enjoy these.
Lots of Val Kilmer Doc Holliday Tombstone clips on YouTube, btw!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8NSldX3rPY
soem Doc Holliday clips (short)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGpajGj07BU&feature=related
Doc Holliday and Johnny Ringo shoot-out (warning: gunfight, including violence and some blood)
Gee hookycat, he mai ebben be deh sick. In mai nebburhood, we hadz dis sad event. A cupple got diborced all-of-a-sudden in 4 montz. Aboot 2 munz latur, the (femael) persun hoo wantid de diborce was diagnozed wid de brane tumor. She dieded about 10 muns latur, but they gotted back two-gedder befour she gotz too sick.
I hopes dat is nawt it, but a brane tumor cud surely breeng about a pursonallitee change like dat, cudn’t it? AND the angry.
Ohai, hookycat, sawree abowt teh sad storeh.
Just wanted to add that a serious head injury can also result in personality changes, including disinhibition, personality change, and anger issues. Depends on what part of the head was injured. (My boyfriend works in a horspital an is a gud source of info on this sort of thing.)
Yush…buh Ai iz takein mai medicool expertise frum greys anatomy…
Teh buk oar teh TB show?
Duzzent has to be nefing so dramatic. Chaynjes in chemistree can cawz dis, too.
sumfin mus be rong wif x-mr.rhsb if him duznt like owr deer rhsb enny more.
livs in hooops dais en des pairs mai muma kitteh alswes sahd
Sumthing old, sumthing noo, sumthing borryied, sumthing . . . tabby.
@@@@@@@@@@!!!!! Win!
@@@@@
FTW!
@@@@@ w00t w00t!
i liekz tabby! mah kitteh iz a ginger coloured tabby!
stoopy word press… dis comment waz ment fur gremlin
Ohai, Hashim! Yes, we luvs teh tabbies! They goes with just abowt ennything . . .
Ohai gremlin!!1!
yesh, frum maeking a immense kyoot face and scratching ur face, tabby kittehz can get away eazily…
An teh shedded fur showz awn watebber u iz warin!
Is a meeakul uv science an fizziks hao a gray an blak an whyt tabbeh can . . .
Shed whyt furs on teh dark clothes,
Shed blak furs on teh whyt clothes,
Shed gray hayrs on everything else . . .
mai Zipper Cat lubs to leeve awl hiz fur on mai dark clothes! nebber failz!
but ai lubs him and ai downt getz mad. himz berry sweet oring kitteh!
Kitteh excited…finks Chikkin Dans is main corse gushifud.
Duz yoo promiss . . .
To snorgle mercilessly?
To provide gushyfuds uv awl kinds and flavrs?
To provide treats, both sawft kinds and krunchy kinds?
To provide vet kayr when needed?
To change teh litter regularly, even when it duzznt seem smelly to hoomans?
To provide toys, an moar toys when those is lost or ruined, an moar toys layter?
To play with kitteh and said toys at regular intervals, even when yoo is tired?
To provide sayf items fur klimbing, stretching owt on, and leeping onto?
To protekt kitteh frum uther peepuls an pets an chilluns an unknown dangers?
To awaken at teh krak uv dawn if summoned by even teh smallest uf mrowrs?
To provide gud windows fur watchin burdies an uther anymals frolik owtsyde?
To provide a warm, cumfy, sawft bed an blankee in a sunbeam?
To talk to yor kitteh regularly an in a sweet an luvving tone, an ask heem hao himz day wuz? And reely lissen to whut he sez?
To talk abowt yor kitteh in a luvving way, and shayr his advenshurs with uthers?
To forsayk awl uthers, cleaving only unto him?
YES. AI. DO.
merciless snorglez – WANT!!!
*snorgelz cweenma mercilessly*
Der u r, mai dear! Ai’m shoor u has desurfed it!
Ai ment cweenmj, ov coarse.
Fanking u fer deh snorglez I am. (I kud b deh cweenma…… kinda like deh cween mum?)
Duz yoo lyke to dantz? Teh cween mum duz. She dantzes to Abba’s The Dancing Queen, srsly! Heerz teh storeh:
http://www.pr-inside.com/queen-elizabeth-s-dance-moves-r655240.htm
(jogs up)
‘Scuse me, is this the line for the “merciless snorgles”….(voice trails off as I see the line extend into the distance)
…sigh…Back that way, huh?
(starts walking in search for the end of the line)
*snorgle snorgle!*
*More snorgle, snorgle fer Johnson442!*
.
Wii will snorgle u on deh beechez
wii will snorgle u on deh landing growndz
wii will snorgle u in deh feeld adn in deh streetz
wii will snorgle u in deh hillz.
Ai do 2.
Ai can has kitteh nao?
i do three
and now we canz be woman and kitteh?
but if i snorglez mercillesly, da next fing i’ll know iz mah throat stuffed wiff hairballs!!
Yes! Ai dew it! In fact, when Ai waz hause hunting teh nawt sekkond ting Ai cheked waz teh depth ob da winder sills. Sew awl da kittehs nao kan bask inna sun (when wii haz it).
yoo mean ai can only haz one kitteh? ai cant cleave to a kitteh and hur brover?
Ohai, leosmom – ther is no rools aginst cleavin unto an snorglin moar than wun kitteh at a tyme! Thatz why most uv us wuz borned with 2 hanz an 2 feetz! Up to 4 kittehs culd tekniklee be snorled at wunst, possibly moar!
but no before U getz some pointeh endz in Ur face
oooo. ooooo. oooo. I so eggsited! I maded a LOL!!
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1623698&vk=IoGDMFjAGLGF040KkV3X4GZFtmmTS%2f%2bih9g1bd6wc4StihdtWTa7VJ0LrroOL6TgDP%2f%2bL5jRUb0D3FXh%2fsUebg%3d%3d
.
Y dey giving it such a loooooong name???????
Win!!!
Purrfect, cweenmj!
Ai haz an aawl white kitteh (Cotton) wun ob mai frends awlwais wants to paint; sais seh is a blank canvass!
Dat iz berry cyute LOL!!! I lubs it!!!
roflol
oooh, funny. But inkwiring sine-tific minds must asks: how wuz it dun?
(a) photoshop. If so, very cute, but how to do it.
(b) IRL. Kitteh sits still for having hims butt spray painted???? ai dont finkso.
.
Itz a miss-sterry.
I duzznt b noeing deh anserz. Not mai cat, not mai pitcher. It b sumfing I fownded on deh web mennee yrs ago. I hab lubbed deh pitcher eber sinse I nawt-sekkund sawing it. I just capshuned it 2day. Mai sense uv humer b havving deh loooooong delay line on it.
Hmmmm….. ai wunder wuteber happened to mai Jerkfayce # 1….
Aktually…ai downt reely care !!
Letting go … Ur doing it rite.
Well….still talk to & occasionally hang out wif ex-hubby #2…
hims nawt a jerkfayce,tho…..just annoying !!
my plan iz wurking. u c. u c.
ohai an’ morningz, Cheezfrenz
I has not laffed so hard in many dayz. So hard kibble shot out my noze. Thanx you, kitteh!
OMG, i culd reeeeeeeeelly uze dis kittah’s help rite now!
Jerkfaiss, yur histurii. Priipair tew miit thy dume.
LOL!!!
*flops obbur*
LOL!!!!
U cant git married, needz all ur attenshun!
If anyones gottaa gud reeson why thse two shud not be married,
speak nao or 4ever hold yr…ah, nevr mind, just speak NOW!!1!
lolage! I fink dis iz coolio!
i want to post a comment because this is quite hilarious.