Training mah humin
Training mah humin to walk on a leash
dis kitteh haz his hoomin traind.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: two_kittehs
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Cheezburger Network Blog
nawt eezy akshully…pushing string is hard
aw, luukat dat liddul bellee…can eben MaisNon nawt be affektid by such kyuteness?
OMG–deh 8 way ty wif maus twicet ADN a commint frum LCB!!! uze guise is deh awsumest.
just because your silly baby talk has rubbed off me does not mean it makes me vulnerable to the, admittedly, kyuute, er cute kitte….
ggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
SPLORT!!
Hhhhmmmm. Mais no has deh splort. shud wii cawl deh CCC aor just leeve her wif her braynez awl ober deh plais?
*automated signallink deevize*
TEST TEST TEST
this is an akshual test of teh CCC reskew system. You aer advized to fixerup adn see if yew can reearraynj hers braynes so she can haz nice ness. just doan’t wait too lawng, cuz if Ebil Maus gets dere nawt sekkind, no tellin wot will…
.
oh noes! too laet!
Oh No! My Ebil princess is down!
*Brings in the Ebil Crash Cart*
*Gets out the Ebil Bust Duster*
*Sucks up MN’s brains*
*Reverses the motor*
*Puts MN’s brains back in her head*
Now for the Ebil Chicken Head Rubber Glove (with Ebil Drawings On It)
*SNAP!*
What kind of beverage would you like?
*opens one eye*
*raises eyebrow skeptically*
You’re a maus.
Yes, my Princess. Your powers of observation are… um… remarkable…
*pssst*
dat wuz yr cue to kwote teh Prinz Kaspiyun mobie, “You peepul have no imagination” because teh ebil dooerz always say dat when the gallant mausiee skewers dem wif hiz wit and/or sword.
.
’sokay, you no has time to see moviee wif all yr ebil doing aktibitees. mebbee it wood dew you good, dough.
jest sayin…
Oh No! I missed my cue! And on opening night…
♫♫♫
Another op’nin, another show
In Philly, Boston, or Baltimo’
A chance for stage folks to say hello!
Another op’nin of another show.
♫♫♫
Another job that you hope will last
Will make your future forget your past
Antoher pain where the ulcers grow
Another op’nin of another show.
♫♫♫
Four weeks, you rehearse and rehearse
Three weeks, and it couldn’t be worse
One week, will it ever be right?
Then out of the hat it’s that big first night
♫♫♫
The overture is about to start
You cross your fingers and hold your heart
It’s curtain time and away we go -
Another op’nin
Just another op’nin of another show!
♫♫♫
Well, my DLF (dear little friend), what sort of drink do you offer?
I have a unique concoction known as a Bloody MaryO. Would you like to try it?
*rolls eyes*
*taps foot impatiently*
It is so hard to get good help these days.
Well. If that’s all you have to offer…
What are the ingredients? Is the tomato juice from organic tomatoes? Is it lower sodium? What is the alcohol content? I like to keep a clear head.
And what is that smell???
Shrimp! For the garnish!
The serving boy is correct. Trust me, Princess. You will find this beverage to your liking…
*examines the shrimp*
Was that shrimp caught using dophin safe technics?
*returns it to tray*
I really don’t
CAREknow, Princess. I you don’t want the shrimp, I’m sure someone else will. Please… drink your beverage…DOKNOT DWINK IT, MaisNon!!!
hmm.
*looks down gallic nose*
A little testy today, I see. You really should learn to manage that.
Gaaaaaaahhh!
No woman is worth this!
*Disappears in a cloud of Ebil-smelling greenish-yellow smoke*
*shrugs*
a nutter one bites the dust…
I can has teh shrimp?
*dawnkee looks hopeful*
*looks arown*
Room empty.
*Donkeh grabs teh shrimpy an noms wile trottin off*
*puts jooshhee shwimp wif string attached juuuuuuust outta reech o Mlle. d’Onkay*
@___________________________
Fast as lightening, a donkey appears and whips out a pair of
scissors!
Faster than one can blink…snipsnip!! The thread is gone!
The shrimp is in the donkey’s mouth!
The donkey has disappeared!
*an obnoxious braying sound can be heard far off in the
distance*
oooh nooo a YNG shud neva say “shrimp”, jest sayin’
@@@@@@!
!
Ebil….. Prinsess?!
its nawt eezee
hoomans is not easy to train…
2 rite mai son
Heel!
Demz not heelz — demz toez!! sillee maus♥
♫♫♫
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
Eyes and ears and mouth and nose,
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
♫♫♫
GAAAAHHHH!!11!!!!
EERWERM!!!
*runz away*
*pulls owt remote control dat came wif teh ICHC chip, and hits MUTE*
Er, Ai fink maus needz hims voyce fur teh show
I can un-mute him as soon as he stops wif teh eerwurm….
Let me give you a hand, Maus…
♫♫♫
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
Eyes and ears and mouth and nose,
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
♫♫♫
*Poynts remote at EM and hits MUTE and UNMUTE repeetedly*
♫♫♫
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
Eyes and ears and mouth and nose,
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
♫♫♫
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA………
Hay! *inaudible* you *inaudible* playing *inaudible* teh *inaudible* control? *inaudible* annyoing *inaudible* of *inaudible* and *inaudible* me *inaudible* crazy!
So *inaudible* it *inaudible* or *inaudible* have *inaudible* come *inaudible* and *inaudible* your *inaudible* until *inaudible* can’t *inaudible* without *inaudible* pliers!
huh?
How izzit dis wurks on LCB?
*hits rewind*
“Hay! *inaudible* you *inaudible* playing *inaudible* teh *inaudible* control? *inaudible* annyoing *inaudible* of *inaudible* and *inaudible* me *inaudible* crazy!
So *inaudible* it *inaudible* or *inaudible* have *inaudible* come *inaudible* and *inaudible* your *inaudible* until *inaudible* can’t *inaudible* without *inaudible* pliers!”
O dis is why it’s nawt werkind on teh EM.
*hits STOP*
*then hits EM wif teh remote*
♫♫♫
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
Eyes and ears and mouth and nose,
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
♫♫♫
Don’t make me call owt teh skwirrlz.
Squirrels? Hahahahahaha!
Oh no! You made me laugh!
*Disappears in a foul-smelling cloud of greenish-yellow smoke*
♫lukkin forward to happeeyer times ooooon Bloooo Bayooooo♫
GAAAAHH!!! Nuzzer eerwurm!!
*Runz uzzer way!!!!*
And another…
♫♫♫
High on a hill was a lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo
♫♫♫
Folks in a town that was quite remote heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Lusty and clear from the goatherd’s throat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo
♫♫♫
youtube.com/watch?v=jAIcEk-SjF8
happi wurmz!
Does peeps in teh Norf Carolina command their dogs to tarheel?
heh. heh. heh. Yew iz sew funnie, Ai almost furgit tew laff. Almost, nawt qwite.
If’n u needs halp rembering to laff, mabye teh kitteh could gives u a piece of hims string to tie around ur finger?
Only cost u elebenty cheezburgers.
No, onlee the peepuls can tarheel.
The goggies must pawse wile we gets unstucked.
Duz peeps in Missouree command dere goggies to “Shoe me”? It’s on teh lisenz plaets, ifinkso.
but furst I has to teech him to tye his shooz.
so he don’t trips.
Iffn I kin git him to follow mii, I mite gibs himz a treet. Maybe.
I thot just being aloud to follow teh kitteh would be treat enough.
if ai tie dis to someting, will he twip and fall?
Curse my lack of opposable thumbs!
tayke me to cheezburger stor.
ai can has tugg-o-war? plz?
Mogg-o-war?
Hao taht liddlol kitteh gonna git taht leesh rownd hiz nek?
Ooooo…dat’s ez wun. Jus’ yooz deh pointy endz an’ climb up teh hoomin. Sumtymes dat maeks teh hoomin awl skwirmy, it’s twoo, but can git 2 teh topz dat wai!
OMG My lol made it to the front for the not second time
I has a happeh!
I meant front page, I guess I is to happee to type propurrly
Yay two_kittehs!!!
tihs iz wun ov mi favritz!!
@@@@@
o fanks Percy Cat
I luvs the pic 2 especially the bebbeh cat, himz looks so serious
w00t w00t two_kittehs!!!1! Congratlolashuns!! Ai duz teh happeetayle dans fur u!!
*happeetayle happeetayle happeetayle*
*bownsee bowns bowns*
*spin n bowns*
*caper n prans!*
oh fanks 4.5 kittehs
Yay! Hooray! two_kittehs!
o fanks booklion, 2w2b2s and mm
I also haz anodder wun in the upcoming pages
plz to vote for it, iffen Uz lykes it
here is deh linkie
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1585489
@@@@@ very phunneh
Ur beery gud wit da LOLz, 2kittehs! Bowff r beery funee!
fanks teasel2 i tries
I voted early and often. Well, ok it was just now and only the once.
Speaking of dingoes, did I share this link here? It’s a license plate I’ve seed twice now around whare I live. I couldn’t get a good photo of it so I went to teh DMV site to re-create it.
http://www.picasaweb.google.com/lolcatburglar/WTF/photo#5200011493283500386
i fanks U fur Ur vote, I ar much honored!
the license plate is funny
But shud b “Dingos 8, Kids 0″ aifinkso.
U has to read it in teh context of teh licentious plate design. That’s teh kicker.
*goes back to being mostly dead from teh firemans pics peeps are showing me*
Thx mostly ded LCB. U r rite az usual. Dingos 8 Kids first, den hab sum dessert.
Dingo dessert? U means like…
Apple pie à la kid
Baked Alaskan Bebbeh
Chilled child
D…
Devil’s Kid Cake
Eleven-month-old in Brandy
French Sonilla Ice Cream
Gummi Heirs
H…
Haricot Potter
Iced infint
Juvenil Jelly
Kandied Kidlet
L….
Hansel & Gretl
Italian …. mmm anything Italian!
Jerky juniur
Leg-leach Limon
Minced munchkin
Neffu nesselrode
O…
Mini-me mintz
Nougat Nawteez
Orinj bon-bon babees
Pecan rugrats
Q…..
Geez, this is harder than it looks!
Qwispee qwallrz
Roustaboutz
Surly stinkurz
Toastidtwinz
U…
Quiche wib bebeh-creem
Reely soft skinny dippers
sugared pinkie fingers
t…
Quince syrup adn sisturz
Rug Rat Risotto
Sauted Siblinz
Tofu toddlerz
U…..
Uglyactin stepsissterz
Veganz
Wooly wobblurz
Xtry lrg lolligaggurz
YN nfintz
Zzzzzurz
oh, dat is soooooooooo gud.
*goes to check prices for vanitee plates*
Whoo Hooo! Yay two_kittehs!!! How wunnerful u onna phrunt payge!!!
Eye seed it wuz ur capshun an eye had a happee!!!
Eye alsew wented an voted fur yur udder picher.
Whoo Hoo two-kittehs iz onna phrunt payge!!!
Two-kittehs iz onna phrunt payge!!!
Two-kittehs iz onna phrunt payge!!!
w00t!
Oh Tribble fanks so muchez
Uz was mah inspirashunz
when I seed Ur capshons
on deh front pages
I thot to mahselfs
I want to beez like herz
We haz to meet in IRL one ov dees daiz
waycoolz nu abatar Tribble!!
Conga rats shulashuns! Tahts wunnerfilld!
bwavo *flooffy paws pause werk tew clappity clappity*
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2008/06/07/funny-pictures-bwavo-clappity-clappity
YAY 2 kitteez!! dis b berry presshus. I lubz it.
I not expects it, I comez back frum lunch and seez it
and goes, o yay!
wOOt! two kittehz, u iz hazzin teh phunnii!
o fanks eubie, the lol wid deh reminded me of my friend’s bebbeh and mah
kittehs
deyz is so fraid of himz dat they goez unner the bed when he comes to visit!
he haz not akshully sat on dem but loves to chase dem making
shreeky noizes
do not want: kittehs say
conga ratz shoe lacins,2kittehs! 1derfull capshun fur teh grate pix
fanks kayjoy!
N finallee got her to kolor koordinate wif teh leesh.
reeeelingk in da fishee
Ohhhh nooooes…
doze spotses….dem stripeses…the tiny tail
SPLORT
I iz ded of cyooteness xposure
Oh noes, KimW – yoo is lyin heer awl splorted! I kawlz over teh CCC, which is driven by a kitteh, with a fireman to halp with teh splorted.
*screeEEEEE!* Teh CCC arrives wit a sqweel uv braykes!
We vaks up teh brayns *vak vak vak*
BAKC yoo go into teh hed, brayns! *splatter!, splirk!*
Ah, we’re doing well! Nao teh noo CHRG – *SPRRrrrik!* An fassen it tite!
Tayp to finish it up, teh hevvy-doody-kind. *taypity taypity*
I uses teh speshul taype wit kitteh pikshors onnit! Teh fireman halps owt by fanning KimW wit a palm frond.
Floofy blankie? Choklits? Yooll be beddur soon! Just rest. I leeves teh fyreman to keep fannin yoo till yoo is fully rekubbered.
Whew Gremslin
Dat waz close…only it is hot in here. Can firemans be taking off his shirt. Yes mush better-only iz still a liddle warm in here…
Sanks
Wii intrupt dis fred for an anounsmint.
.
Cheezpeepz!! Lurkerz!! Komminterz!! LOL-makirz!!
did u b noeing dat u can haz a fren? Doan wate!! Sine up noaw!
B deh nawt-sekkund on yer blok 2 haz Cween mj az ur berry own fren.
.
just go 2 http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-cweenmj
adn klikking on “Add As Friend” Threw deh majikz uv deh intertuubz, I will receeving an e-mayo telling mii uv ur burning desire 2 beeing mai fren. Wen I get deh e-mayo, i will confirm teh rekwest adn u will beeing on mai fren list. Itz dat eezzee.
.
If u duznt awlreddy b registered, it b eezee 2 due. Just klikking on deh Register buttin on deh brown bar @ deh top uv deh page. I speshlee like deh profilez dat saying a littul bit bowt u, but U duzn’t hav to giv owt ennee informashunz at awl.
.
I b noeing dat dere b tousandz uv u lurkerz owt dere!!
I b wanting awl uv u az mai frenz.
.
Fer awl uv u hoo am beeing mai frenz, i duz a liddul song:
♪♫
Thank u fer beein a fren
Trabbeld down deh road adn bak agin
Ur hart iz trooo, ur a pal an a konfidant
♪♫
I’m not ashamed 2 say
I hope it awlways will stay dis way
Mai hat iz off, won’t u stand up adn take a bow
♪♫
Adn if u trew a partee,
Invited ebbreewun u nooooooo
U wood see, deh biggest gif wood b frum mii
Adn deh kard attacht wood say,
Thank u 4 bein a fren.
.
Wii noaw return u 2 ur reglar lolz.
Ai beleevz taht cweenmj iz awreddy a FOO/FOOBARK
FANK YEW JAJEH 4 beein mai fren!!!
*duz liddul tappee dans*
*Tappity tappity tap tap*
*tappity tap tappity tap*
*Jazz handz!*
Letz giv ‘em a YooToob klip. Warning: kyoot animyul pikshors, TITEN YOR CHRG before lukkin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FmcKBdEJ_U&feature=related
Dedicayted to cheez-frenz everywhar.
Kitteh halps hoomin by pulling loose thred from pants.
10 seconds later: Nakey-from-teh-waist-down hoomin.
Wut? no underooz??
Iz it a fyremanz? An oyl-ly wun?
sry, mai OCD haz rechd ah nue leble. **hangs hed in da shame**
wat iz a a OCD?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder–Ai haz it when it comes to the Fyremenz.
did sumbodee sai fyremanz?
http://www.cuisine.co.nz/contentImages/toystools/firemen800.jpg
R dose ur bery own fyremenz, 2w2b2s?
i likes to kwep them onna standaround call
yoo can borraw them wreneva yoo needz em tho
Thx! U nebber know when da onez u habe will get warn owt an anodder 1 or 2 or 3 will be needed.
!
Dat is disterbeeng. I ses dat cuz I’m a DOOD.
Ohai, SM. Ai glad 2 c Ai’m knawt da onleez wun. Gud ting der r plentee ob da fyremenz 2 go rownd aifinkso.
yur sew ubbersessed wit teh dizrobin’
kweep up teh gud werk!!1!
Obsession, schobsession! Is my hobby.
SEE! And u tries to blame it on me!
Does u has a particular point u is trying to make here?
I guess not.
Well maybe.
Ackshully shudn’t u be thanking me now for swipin ur shirt?
*consults dayplanner*
*flippity flippity flippity flippity*
Um, nope, nothing here about that, sry. But ’scuse me. I does has a pointment wif teh firemans. I has to stop at teh store first to get a ginormous bottle of extry-virgin lolive oil.
Um, teasel2 may want to halp u wif dat.
She’s bringing teh spatulers and teh shaky cheez!
Seh doez! But must *snif* go dew sum werk. Ai haz klasses 2 teach an haz 2 plan dem. MaiB wii’ll dew sumting inbolbing fyemanz.
wud dat be ‘fully inbolbed’?
Yeeeessss!
here i wheel send mai purrsunal “man” wit yoo 4 teh dai
http://www.dfbcalendar.com/cover2008.jpg
hope he can catshes up wiff ya…
*BZZZzzzzttttt*
*BZZZzzzzttttt*
Malfunction! Malfunction!
*BZZZzzzzttttt*
*THUD*
*cobbers up LCB wif her shurt*
*throws watta on LCB* http://www.firefighterscalendar.org/photos2003/april_large.jpg
*twitches halplessly*
*oops howd thet git inna watta?*
R u nekkid AGAIN, LB?
ZOMG!! Ai wil catsup wiff him!!!
Rly, Aiz goanin 2 werk nao.
Kthxbai. *sniff*
Tahts quite an ax he has
tu grind!!
ai red taht as
“extry-virgin love oil”
Whut did *I* say?
Iz it a YNG? Iz it a kyoot YNG? Aihoapso!
Judge for yourself…
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dis has bin a bery secshual comment line.
Wif a fyreman fillin.
Bery disterbeeng.
UR SHOES UNTIED
C’mon hyoomin, c’mon hyoomin…ai taekz u ware we gotta go…tu cheezburger place. Cmon, heel! Daz gudd.
Win!
*KA-SPLOOOOOOOOOOORT-SPLORT-SPLORT-SPLORTY-SPLORT…and…SPLORT*
Can somwon call de CCC? Stat…
Heer Ai cum draggin teh CCC
Scoop up oobark’s branes
pore dem bakk in himz hedd
fastin on CHRG wiv ducky taep
An snap on a 50s bavin cap fur ekstra pertekshun.
Heer oobark, haz a hawt chokklit an sum chokklit possums an rap dis floofy blankit rownd. rest awhile den u will feel better.
Boy, deze humins is not so eesy to walk as I thot. Dey spilled dere kibbel all over the flore, too… An I don’ fink it got all itz shots, eever…
An Im pritty shur frum teh way it acts it haznt been nootered.
Dis very compli – komplik – lots-to-fink-abowt pet!!
LOLZ!!!1!
@@@@@@@
and himz so cute when himz tossies the fake mousies at meh
Hoomin seems 2 haz “stay” daown prittee gud.
All these years, we’ve been taking kittehs home. Today, kitteh takes YOU home.
Tihs kitteh duz prittee guud wifaowt ‘pposable fumbs;
Her luuks liek a fyremen rowlyng up a fyre hoase;
(Taht’s iyt!!! Nexxt weez gunna habb fyremens kittehs [oar fyre-kittehs???] )
u jus want’s da poor fyremenz da be owt ob wurk so u cans imploi dem… admit it… an… tell us waht da fee wud bee fur one da rent.
Hmmmmmm…. do nawt wunt enny fyremens heer; Ai haz enuff menfoulks inna famblee hoo drivez me bonkurs:
Enney moar mens inna howse: DO NOT WANT!!!!!!!
cheshirekittehkat – dat iz funneh!
Little bitty stripey kittey seemz to have the hang ob werkin teh rope witout opbosible thumbs.
O hai cheshirekittekat, I see se had teh same thought.
Seems to be uzing one toe ontop, like a tumb.
GMTA, Ai finksoe!!!
dad so cute!!!
srry…DAT so cute.
Sum dad’s aer cute 2.
kitteh needz 2 call hiz/her friendz 2 halp wiff da hooman… hez 2 heavy 2 move alone… or a scratch or two would do da trick
or mabee attack da hoomins face…dat would surley mak him move!
yup, dat would do da trick instantly. da hooman will scream liek a teensy gurl uf preschool!
In Soviet Russia, kitteh trayns yoo!
not just in Soviet Russia, mah kittehs has me trayned to get
anything dey needs on command
Mai boiz hab invested a lotta tieme and effort intu mai training, an ai tink dey r preddy sadisfied wit resultz.
Teh problum wif humins is they no respond to voice comandz.
I sed “miao mew meow” and humin duz nothin.
So I have to yank teh leash reel hard instead.
berry sweet liddul kitteh – somewun pleze to halp me nawt splort, pleze? dat bebbeh kitteh is so cyute. no care about fyremenz ryte naow – ai wantz cyute bebbeh kitteh. liddul kitteh canz tie rope around mee an mayke me tayke himz home!
Dunno eff ai ken help, becuz kitteh maeks me splort tu….mebbe ef we splort tugedder we boff rekuffer ok
butt if yews splort togethers, wen thay desplort yoo thay mite mixes up ur braynes
Next World Demenation!!!!!
Awesome!
lol that’s reallly cute
Yo r rite! IZ hard to do!
iz LEESH
sheesh