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candygram taeks a nasstee tern…
…dis luks lyk it mae can has a Wren ching back storee.
Yu tink kitteh robin teh nest?
I fink kitteh bedder nawt warble, oar he mite fallz.
kitteh so confidnet, he not sparrow a thot fur falling.
he’z lite as a feathur ennyways.
But if he eetz that burdie, he gonna hawk it up agin NEwaiz.
We juss waytin up heer tew see wen teh collij ov cardinals sends up teh smoke!
O riolee? that fast?
Muss go nao– owl see yawll layter!
yup, i finchso.
congrats on teh top spot maisnon/sweetpea!
Now wut kinda candy u gots kitteh?
A sordid wuns?
Butterscotch?
Chunkees?
Divinitee fudj
Elegant petit fourz
Fudgy fudj with extra fudj, chonklit
G…
Gooey carmel
Hunny coams cuvverd in fuj
Itty bitty nonpariels
J…
Joo joo bees
Krackul barz
Lemming heds
Munnies rapped in gold foyle
Nacho flavur chawklit
Ordinairee chawklit
P…
Popcorn balls covered with da pink sugary stuff
Quality chocolate (ANY chocolate)
Roasted coffee beans dipped in chocolate
Snickers bars!
Taffy Pulls
u…
frUnnerwharez-shapded gummifrootz
Valyooblol chawklit, reklaymed frum LCB
Willy Wonka Speshul
X…
Xtra chawklit
Yummy chawklit
Zillions of varieties of chawklit
x-tra sweet choklit… an…
ze dentists choice choklit
*oupsie* furgotted tha y… goodfing martianmary had it in thar *hides inna corner*
Unnerware shayped gummees?
I sticks wif teh lemming heds, okthxennywai!
Leeza, y nawt? Meremember Wallace an Grommit an teh walking pants? Dats wut I had in mynde!
I du! I luvs Wallace & Grommit!
But eeting unnerware shayped candees..
duz nawt sound very appytizing.
Corse I guess neether duz lemming heds,
unless I splains dats my lolspeek
for Lemonheads.
Ahhhh, nao I seez! I nebber herd ob Lemonheads unless it wuzz a candy my kittenz liekded at the pool, awl those yrs ago.
Akshully, I fort u wuz referringing tew teh commint about “shudda gone awn that lemming hunt”
‘s long as its ownley shayped lyk unnerware ‘z ok… but if it can has da flafor uf unnerware…
EEEEEW!! NAWT! Iz chawklit!
Re lemming heds… well, it sorta wuz.
Re unnderware flavr candies… has u ever
had bertie bott’s every flavr beans?
Nawt shure that unnerware wudn’t be better
than vomit….
Naow U haz dun it. Nebber met a chonklit Ai diddun lurb, until U startid tokin bowt chonklit unnerware candies. Pleh!
Aiz tew skerred tew trai doze every flavr beanz.
Nacho flavur chawklit?!?
…
Um… DO NOT WANT.
Lemmingz be uh faborite snak ub owlz!
okays, fur alla youse guise (speshullee yu widdul whippersnapperz) dat no can haz knowing o teh SNL skit (i pursonallee wuz too buzzy to see it in orijinul foarm bak den adn can hadz to katch up in layder reerunz) hear is teh ref frum wich my comet cums.
frum Saturn dae Nite, Live “landshark” skit
[Scene: A New York apartment. Someone knocks on the door.]
Woman: [not opening the door] Yes?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
Woman: What?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
Woman: Who is it?
Voice: [pause] Flowers.
Woman: Flowers for whom?
Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma’am.
Woman: I don’t need a plumber. You’re that clever shark, aren’t you?
Voice: [pause] Candygram.
Woman: Candygram, my foot. You get out of here before I call the police. You’re the shark, and you know it.
Voice: Wait. I-I’m only a dolphin, ma’am.
Woman: A dolphin? Well…okay. [opens door]
[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, all while the Jaws attack music is playing.]
The “Land Shark attack” scenes are intermixed with other scenes directly spoofing Jaws, featuring Dan Aykroyd as Sheriff Brody and the aforementioned John Belushi playing Matt Hooper.
hoap tis werks, plez yoo hafta tailerate a advertise B4 teh skech
http://www.spike.com/video/2802070
fankoo fur esplainin fur us liluns!!
yr well come. mebbee i can needz splanashun an otter time fr stuffs yu no, adn i duznt. i finkso, yes?
yus yus yus! jus ask iffun yew not sure! ai sumtymes nawt pikkup if peeps dunno sumtin
LOL! I likes dat! Thanks for da laff Maisnon. I needed it.
I have a condition where I get lots of headaches.
On a serious note…I need hugs from you all:-( I’vw been feeling kind of down lately
So…..could you send hugs to me please?
Thanks.
Luv,
Katzi (aka Kathy)
Owchies! Hopez tehy iz nawt the dredded MY GRAMES!!! No wunderz u can haz a downfeline. Am sew sry, adn beez holdin u (adn ur hed) up 2 teh lite. {{{{{{katzi}}}}}
oh sowries Katzi.
{{{{{Katzi}}}}}}
I sends Dr. Tinycat to luk in on u.
{{{{{{{{{{Katzi}}}}}}}}}}
Hedakes be teh PLEH. Feel bedderer, Katzi.
DK
{{{{{{{{{{Katzi}}}}}}}}}}
Headakes is teh wurst. Pleh. Hoeps yoo feels betterer soon!
{{{{{katzi}}}}} hope yoo iz feelin bettur by now.
Thankees my furrends.Yore awl brtti speshul. I’ll be OK.
Mai kittehs know when I not feline well.So dey snuggul wiff me
Luff,
Katzi/Kathy
I just waytes heer wif my mouf open, dat will werk.
u meen burdie won’t fly into my mouf?
drats. I shudda gone on dat lemming hunt.
Kitteh be studien foreign languages?
Ohai Lucy! We haz nawt met, I fink, I’m zauberflote, pleeztameetcha!
Ohai Zauberflote,
pleeztameetchatoo! Dem eberyflabor beans scares me too. When I first readed about dem I started to hab awfdul flashes of sum new horrible flabor. I fink I sticks to da choklate an maybe da gummy bears.
Hopes to be seein you again, zauberflote
Ai iz a burdie, rly..
Conga rats 2 MaisNon, leeza-b and annipuss awn teh 3-way brayde! Ai’m shure u gets sumfink 4 dat, ai jest dunt noes wot. Silly brashuns purr haps? Wot wuldz u laik 4 drinksies and danses? *gets dancing shoes awn*
Thx upfi, Ai fink we gets 2 bisit teh tybooteek ware der iz awl sorts uv fabyoolus fings and drinkses an noms.
Trip tu Ty Booteek. Ai’m shur dem tree can find sumfin nyce der…..
Hao bowt dis song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB2RPWZ6qKc
I wuz jest finking of dat! lub dat song…
Rokkin Robin, klassik vershun (pre Mikal Jaksun)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCy63R2KKFU
see how you likes an older vershun…
Ok now, THIS wun taykes me bakk!
y’know…iz weerd: heering taht mai bro-in-law’s nephew iz in kollage naow, wen ai’ve noan teh kid sins him wuz knee high, maeks mi feelz OLD…butt lissenin’ tew sawngs awn low-cal class-ick rawk stashun jus taeks me bak, maeks mi feel GUD!
Mii tu! Iz won ov mai faborits adn iz nyce tu see MJ wif his fais in plais.
Kitteh gud fur environment. “Liminates hole farmin, cannin, trukkin, retail industry by eetin lokally!
Camouflage..I haz it!
Wat u meen tihs wuzznt bilt 4 mi?
ohai, rhsb, happy gud morning to yu. I hopezyu did not tink I meant to csu yu blushies yesterday…I shud hav put wink efter my commint, but didnot tink ov it till efter Iw uz gone doing works. Efter I caym hoam last night & red otter commintz, I thot mebbe I did rong.
Dat’s okay, booklion. {{{booklion}}}
Hao r u 2dai? Ai’m tyred an fink ai’m gonna hang owt unner teh bed.
Ohai rhsb! Mush bedderer hangin owt inna burdfeeder, Ifinkso yes. C’mon, less go climb that tree!
*Blakk haff-Meezer whisks up tree like she’s a skwirrlol*
Cant catch mii-ii!
But ai’d get mai fur awl dirtee.
Ai’ll watch u frum teh windoe.
Aw, c’mAWN! I’ll halp u wash ur floof wen we come daon! Watch this!
*Climbs up another 10 feet*
Ai fink ai needs 2 summon EM an get sum moar ebil. Ai gotten emayle frum teh hubbeh yesterdai. Him callded mi an extorshunizt.
Oh,boo-hoo fer hubby!
He just wants to get out of his own mess scott-free !!
Do NAWT listen to his ebilness !!!
wut Eeck sed!
itz nawt like u wanted this…. he did.
so he haz to deel wif the consequencez.
Heeze praktising syko…psycho—illogikal warfare.
Heere, rhsb — I gibs yu a beeyutiful & sharp samurai sword on a polished darkwood stand. Yu can contemplayts it…yu r az strong az teh steel, and yu r sharp & can cut truu the crap & yu will nebber be tarnished or sullied by it. In yur maginayshun, yu can yuse it to cut off hiz hed or hiz source ov being bad tu yu.
Plz to tayke it.
*Bows deeply, offering teh beyutiful, gleaming sword.*
Wow, fanks. Iz beeyootiful.
Ai nawt berry graseful, tho. Mebbe u shud put it onna tabel. Ai eben spilled cawfee on mai NOO shirt tihs mornin.
Ahh, butz yu can haz graycfulness in imaginamanayshun.
Teh more yu prakitces in teh mind, teh more teh grayse debelops IRL.
And iz bery satisfying tu yuse teh sword.
{{{{booklion}}}} Wize werds fur ar rhsb! Teh sword iz a beyootiful gift an ai’m shur, wif a bit ov praktiss, rhsb will bekom kwite awsum in weelding it!
“psycho—illogikal warfare” – FTW, booklion!!
*lolspeek orf*
(((((((rhsb)))))))))) He’s the one who didn’t want to stay together. Name-calling just goes with his territory, maybe. Maybe you can ignore that– it’s not true, and it’s a cheap shot calculated to make you feel bad. Rise above his level and ignore it! You have legal counsel, right? Any “demands” you make will be perfectly reasonable. He can name call all he wants. You do not have to stoop to his level and accept his names!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yoo ar heer amongst gud frenz – beleev in yurself! Waht zauberflote sed iz troo!
Just ignore him. Donut answer teh stoopee email. An now yoo can purrrhaps sstart to see him fur waht he reelee iz – an tehn no moar regretz. Yoo can doo it. Becuz we r awl standing wif yoo.
An hai ebreewun! Mai plane wuz awnlee 2 hours layte – cudn’t taek off frum Atlanta becuz of a storm.
But ai am nao heer, just had a wonderful chiken curry fur lunch, an am gong to veg awt fur teh day. Hav awlreddee seen 6 old frenz an awl feels sumhao a bit bedder.
{{{{{{{{Janet}}}}}}}}}}
I ar happitayl taht yoo iz wiv sum IRL frenz ,an yoo can haz catchin ups an memries an stuff. *Hugs Janet reel tite*
Thanks Tidmum!
Teh IRL frenz heer ar awsum – but ai still need yoo awl t00! Becuz yoo ar . . . must bee a werd fur it. . .just az reel too, just diffrent!
wot Tidmum sed!
{{{{{{Janet}}}}}}}
{{{{{{Janet}}}}}}
Glad yu r safely there & hav IRL friendz hu can hug & walk & talk & eat & dring & just BE wif yu.
Love to yu.
hai Tidmum/Awntee Janet!!
.
glad yew gotted dere sayfnsownd. I hope yew hab a wundermuss tyme wif yur IRL frenz, talkytalkin and rememrin. Tek cayur ob yerself an yer IRL frenz, an bemember teh cheezpeeps am heyur tew!
Mmmmmm… chikken curry!
Hope u has a nice vissit wif ur frends.
{{{{Janet}}}}
ooh, ai furgot tew menshun, ai mayke a lubbly chicken curree, and an eben beddur chicken n cheese pasta bayke!!
Ohai Jimmba
Long tyme no speekee. Hoap yew is otay ?
I is juss cukkin Roast Pork an awl teh trimmins an sum Roast Sausages fer teh Boichik.
Appelsawse an porkshire yuddins an ebreefing…NOM
das nawt fayur!! ai has nuttin fur mai dinnur =( *sniff*
.
ai ar gud fankoo, hower yew? yew hastew e-mayul me sumtyme!
{{{{{{{{{Jimmba}}}}}}}}}
Por yoo!!! Yoo sown lyke Oliver Twist-cept yoo cannot has moar acuz yoo haz nun inna nawt sekund playce
*passes Jimmba a Plate ob Roast Din dins an sum Cherry pie an cusserd fur puddink*
Has yoo no fuds atawl? Can yoo go an see yaw Mum an get sum Dins?
ai knooow!! :’(
.
Fankoo Tidmum. ai has no food inna howse (sept goggie food, p-dawg gotta eat!) mai mumma kitteh has gone awn holiday fur her burfday so ai can nawt steel any ob hers *sigh*
Oh Noes!!!!
I feel awl giltee now 
Can yoo go an beg a dins frum a fren? I bet yoo has menny taht owe yoo a faver?
I wish we wuz cloaser,tehn yoo cud cum an has a gud scoff heer.
I allus cook too mush.
stoopy wurdpretzel nommed my reply. gr. esenhully, ai hab tew go tew teh chipee shopee, is a shayme ….. NAWT!
Guid 2 noze U iz Ribded okai.
{{{{{{{{{{Janet}}}}}}}}}}
Just imagine an army uv floofy kittehs beehind u at awl tymes !!
Dats wun heck ov a lot of floofage {{{{{{{{{rhsb}}}}}}}}
If I add Hazel to teh eqwayshun it makes Elebenty seven million an twelvty free.
and……. there it is!!!!
Stoopy wee press
An Hazel gots LOTS ov floof! Ai jes wanna snorgle taht belleh awl dai.
Mai perfeck wai of dyin iz bai drownin in floof.
As mai dad used to sai ~ keep ur pekker up, rhsb! (NO! It’s not that!)
{{{{{{{{{{{rhsb}}}}}}}}}}}
Dun worry, rhsb!!!1!!
If hubbeh called u ennyfink else butt extorshunist, he’d bee getting orff litely, and we wuldn’t want dat, wuld we? Iz normul reackshun d00ring deeworce proseedgure. Cawling naymes iz a bery childish fing 2 do.
Ai wuz wunnerin, duz extorhunizt maek gud munnies? Ai mite need 2 konsidur a jawb chanj.
I dont knows u, rhsb, but I jus want to say dat I sympafizes wis you– my kittehs and I just went thru a divorce in June (frum husbin, not from kittehs). Da name calling is rong. Is hard– eben tho I wanned to smack husbin, I was sad to get divorced.
Fanks, hookycat.
Deevorse – DO NAWT WANT!
Ai still lubs hubbeh but kan’t stop fings. I do wanna smak him, tho. Hard.
Yes, dat was me exakly. DID NOT WANT– got anyways, becuz husbin sayed so. Very sadly, kittehs lubbed husbin and I think 2 of dem misses him a lot– they not as playful, not want to be holded much rite nows.
yew cud taype a pikchoor ob his fayse tew a punch bag? similar wifowt teh physical harm?
My fren gabe me a voodoo doll kit frum barnesnnobles for dat– I gibbed it to somewun elze dat needed it moor, tho. Is funnee to think ob da voodoo, but not shoore I wants to do it.
ai has a dammit doll which i gawt mayud in australia wen i wuz ober dere. is calmin tew jus frow it abowt wen ai has an angree!
DAT sounz like sumfin I cud yoose! Plus, da kitteh cud grabs it with dere front feets and bunnee kicks it wid da back feets, like kittehs do.
Teh bunnee kikz r funnee.
Mai Josie owtsmartid mai frenz kitteh. Him wuz pikkin awn hur and hur rolled ober on her back, showin taht floofy belleh. Him tuk teh bayte and went 2 bite hur onna belleh.
Hur grabbed his hed wif hur frunt feetzies an bunnee kiked him wif hur bak feetzies! It wuz berry funnee 2 watch. Hur had no clawz an him had alla hiss, sew hur had 2 fink abowt hur plan ov attak.
go Josie!!
gibs her elebentee cheezburgars from TTI!
{{{{{{{{{{rhsb}}}}}}}}}}
Keep yoor chin up! We cheezfrens is wif you.
gud for yoo! if himz not likin wut yor doin, taht meenz yor on teh right trak!
*lil ornj kitteh offurs jingul mausie found under LCB’s cowch*
mrroW!! [translashun: gnaw teh hed off & preten it be teh ebil doo er.]
Aim tyred, too. Aim lyke teh troll Demetrius in Terry Pratchett’s Discwurlld buks — my brayne onny wurks in teh cold temperatures.
*Offerz rhsb gud buks & a flashlight & refreshing drinkees & sawftee blankee to make underbed eben more comfee.*
{{{{{rhsb}}}}}
*peaks ober at buks*
*snif snif*
oooooo buks! sumov dem smellz lik Noo Buks!
*luks longinglee at magnifisent assortmint*
ummm. i can luks at dis wun wile you reeds dat wun? den we trayde?
*luks hoapfullee at booklion an rhsb*
Mai fren made lilak pinz an sold tehm 4 Alzheimer’s research in honor ov Terry Pratchett. Hur made lots ov munnies an donated it awl 2 Alzheimer’s fowndashun.
Oh, I wuld buy sum to support taht cauz. If yur frend iz still doing it & haz website, I can haz linkee, plz?
Ai will ax hur.
kthanx.
Okay ai has the website. Do ai post it heer, oar sumwhare else?
I tfink itz okay to post it here, in cayse sumwun else iz interested.
Or else yuse my yahoo email, which yu can get thru teh cheezfrenz site.
Thnx, rhsb.
Poast heer plz!
Heer it iz: http://www.picturetrail.com/sfx/album/view/19273092
Ai gotten wun ov teh small wuns an had hur put a lite colored ribbin insted ov blak. Ai gibbed it 2 mai mahm 4 mudders dai.
I just ordered two pins. Iz gud cause, & teh pins r good.
Teh troll wus “Detritus”; awl trollz in teh Diskwhirled R kawlded aftur typz ob rawk, or stuff U getx frawm braking rawk.
ob kurs yu r rite. But dis jus proobs my point — my brayne duzznt wruk in summer.
Mai brayne nawt werk until closer 2 lunch tyme. Iz still sleepin, onlee teh bodee iz up – barelee.
Paws4thot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haz missded u! U muss maek a profile sew we can awl ax tew be ur frens!
Hai again, paws4thot!
Yoo just showed wun reeson amongzt so menee wai we hav missed yoo so much!
Ohai Paws4Thot
I leeved yoo a messij bak awn david cop a feel picshure.
Ihope yoo seed it?
Oh, my old friend Demetrius! I haven’t thought of Demetrius in a million years! Must call him!
*swimmz orf tew UnnerTehSea TransOceanicCable hack*
bedder b carefu.l Discwurlld trolls r nawt caretrollz.
Sew Caretroll, did u get 2 ax teh Titanik wat sank it?
Huh. Tyetanik sayd, “stoopy hoomanz, sleepin at teh switch! U noez how bad taht iyseburg hurt crashin intew me? Yow!”
I is a burdie
Iz inacent burdie
If yuz us inacent burdie, I iz a kitteh wiff possable tumbs! I can open da can of da gushie fuds all by myself. Nyah Nyah “inacnet burdie.”
Mai gramma uzed to say somfin about “sittin in da Cat Burd Seet”, and I wonnered wut dat waz. Now I see is whar, if u iz a cat, u sit an preten to be a burd.
Iz teh nayborhud welcum committee. Howdee naybor! *liks chops in antissipashun*
Heer burdee, burdee, burdee.. ::tweet:: ::meow:: ::tweet::
Stealth kitteh in Ur birdhouse waiting for the birdies
Ohai….
No,reely…ai am jus a rare speecies uv birdee….
Teh floofy bird…yeah,thats it !!
Come closer,ai will nawt hurt u…
Dat’s it….closer…closer….
but burdees haz beaks! not whiskurrrz!
u no haz featherz either. hmmmm….
well wat eva it may be u r mah burdee brovver!
give me a hugz!
oh noez!!1! mah brovver be noming meh!!
Shtoopid Shtork
Win !!!!!
Stork accuracy FAIL…oops, wrong blog.
Ai dunno; kitteh muste fink teh burdees ar rlly dumbees;
Enny seylfe-rehspehtyng burdee wif enny sense at awl wil flieys awaiy rlly fass afture seeiyng kitteh inna burd-howse!!!!
Ai meen, rlly: kitteh bees syttyng tehre jes liek a redd flagg waurnyng awl burdees tuu keepes awaiy: Ai doan fink ENNEEY burdees iys taht Stoopee!!!!
AWnly teh dodos, and dey r awlredy dead.
Ai dunno cheshirekittehkat…mai ant uzed to rayse chikkins…dey awe-fully stoopee!
….and qwite tastee !!!!
feather-meat, yard-bird, it’s all good.
Hay! Ai ARE fevvered meat!
i haz also kept chickenz and dey are bery chickenish, meaning bery cowardish… dey would run away if dey see da kitteh within seeing range!
yeh, but they’ll kill a snake in the yard.
or if u fool dem and give dem a rubber band… de’ll eat it finking dats its a snake!
Ooh, Ai nu tehre wuz a reesonin Ai bin wantin teh chikkins. Owr snakiis–let me NAWT sho u tehm, tehre’s sew mini ub dem.
Ai H8S snakies! …an’ scorpinoms! …an’ awl doze owie fings!
I taut I taw a puddy tat!
i deny everything!
kitteh wayts fer treet
payshuntly sitz en burd howse
doez he foolz u – tweet!
da silent hunter albayz get da pray…
but of course dis “burditteh” iz tweeting!
heh heh, and they say one swallow duzzint make a summer . . .
Clebburr Tukkz Kittteh
needz noo poynt ubz veew wiff a
strawng rufe oaburrhedd
Burdeez luukeeng 4
fud. Kitteh wundurrz ifz day
woodz joinz himz 4 luntch?
T3h urlee burd mayz
getz t3h wurm, butz sly Kitteh
getz t3h Canayree
Jack.
…oh…an’…’moaningz, Cheezfrenz.
Ai go hied in mai nestroom nao. Ai has a sad, parshul raisin foar wish Kafleen knoes…butt she be cawled into werk AGEN bai ebil dis-patcher…sew, if wunderin’ wai ai haz a sad, yool hafta waight ’til she come bak tew ask hur.
Sawry foar being sew negatib, fokes.
kthxbai
My goodness.
You has goodness?
In teh catbird seat
I know there is such a bird as a catbird but I think this one is an imposter!!!
Ai wants tew add dis lolpic…is teh KYOOOOOT…but stoopy ICHC honchos habn’t putted an ‘Add to Faborites’ button for uzerz ub Safari. I has a sad.
testing