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Witness against



cat

Witness against Basement Cat will speak only on condition of anon- … ana-… nobody knoes who he is

u will haz 2 go in da witness protecshun program.

picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: wonphatcat

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» 137 Comments

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

 
  1. gmawairzgreneshuz says:

    The shadow knows

  2. Tonight on Dateline…

  3. annipuss says:

    An u disguyz himz voyse

  4. teasel2 says:

    Luks like it is BC!

  5. Dustbunneh says:

    Tssss… isn’t vereybuddee a witness of teh basementcat??

  6. yesh tear waz a conspearC

  7. gmawairzgreneshuz says:

    Sumfing wuz lawst in translashun.

  8. gmawairzgreneshuz says:

    We gawtz us a dubul brayd. cumawn tu tybootik fur refrchmins.

  9. jk2kitteh says:

    i’m in ur draypes, loohkin at-chew

  10. Iz eggsited! Thsi mai nawt sekkund trip tew teh tybootik! I can has bobblehed kitteh?

  11. gmawairzgreneshuz says:

    Wut’ll yu awl be habbing? Ai finkz a tawl icee cawfee wif rasperry flabur surup init. Dans arown da bombfyre? leik Haloween?

    • Ai will habz chokklit-marshmellow icee creme onna stik wit liddle chokklit sprinklez onnit. Anna homemaek Catluah n’ creme fer a chaser. Iz five o’clock hear onna High Planes!

      • gmawairzgreneshuz says:

        Yu maikz da catluah? nom! Da rele stuf maikz me sneze. nd sun iz obur da yardarm so nobunny gunna sai sumfing abowt wut yu habbing.;)

        • Yes, ai maeks mai own. Iz berry berry gud. Izza big resippy, maeks almowst a gallun ob hooch. Taeks meh awl yeer tew drinkz it. *pours a liddle shot fer gma* Awl natchrool ingre…ingriiid…ingreed…stuffs innit. Mebbeh u wonts be sneezin.

          • gmawairzgreneshuz says:

            Fankz, iz dulishus. iz saim az da icy cawffee but moar so. nd ai oanlee snezed wuns wen dustbun caim owt

      • Dustbunneh says:

        Ohai, i can has teh icee cawfee too? Sounds delishoos… here’s ownlee half past midnait..
        .
        Hay, wy’s noone dansdansing arown teh bombfire??

    • cweenmj says:

      *Poorz gma a nise icee kawfee. Addz a sploootch uv razzberree sirup.*
      *Poorz wun fer maisef, tew.*
      Heer ya go!
      *klinkee glasses*
      Cheez!!
      .
      Think I’ll pass on dansin rownd deh bombfyre. Spent deh day owt fishing. Such hard werk, ya noe. i’ll just sit heer adn feed deh fyre.

    • teasel2 says:

      Kongratchewlayshunz on your nawt sekkond! Iz happy 2 join 2 ina icee cawffee, but w/o the flabur init. Ai knead teh icee cawffee soz Ai kan kewl down frum oyl-ing the fyerzmenz. MaiB Ai shuld cher wiff dem…
      Kthxbai

    • AfriCat says:

      oooh!!! i hope teh Maus twins no heer u tawk abowt “bombfyre”
      2 quote CweenMJ – oh teh hewjmannatee!!!!

  12. martianmary says:

    U shoor dat iznt BC behine teh kertin playin a triksie on us?

    • teasel2 says:

      Afinkso, martianmary!

      • martianmary says:

        ohai, teasel2. Ai doant fink Ai meets u bee4. *holds owt wite paw wif orinj stripey spots onnit* Ai lyke ur abatar, teh kitteh luks lyke himz laffin hard.

        • teasel2 says:

          ohai 2 u 2, Martianmary! Iz relatibli new heer. Gladz u lik mai abatar. Iz Teasel (girlkitteh), warnin mii knat 2 disturb her–seh iz snorgle-pruf. Seh also holds owt her whitey paw an sayz Nice to meet u!, but seh is sneeky so watch owt 4 da pointy bits.

  13. Irlolz says:

    Teh Ceiling cat r watching j00 nae. U cantz hide frum ceiling kat
    J00 r Doomd. kthxbai

    • jd says:

      I prowtest. Ceeling cat iz nawt ebil oar jujmental. Ceeling cat iz teh gibber ob catnip adn teh creator ob gushifuud. Ceeling cat iz sew amazing dat he created teh wurld in hiz sleep. By accident, I heer – he’d eeten sum really ripe cheez.

  14. cweenmj says:

    Wii intrupt dis fred for a short anounsmint.
    .
    Cheezpeepz!! Lurkerz!! Komminterz!! LOL-makirz!!
    did u b noeing dat u can haz a fren?
    Doan wate!! Sine up noaw!
    B deh nawt-sekkund on yer blok 2 haz Cween mj az ur berry own fren.
    .
    just go 2 http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-cweenmj
    adn klikking on “Add As Friend” Threw deh majikz uv deh intertuubz, I will
    receeving an e-mayo telling mii uv ur burning desire 2 beeing mai fren.
    Wen I get deh e-mayo, i will confirm teh rekwest adn u will beeing on mai
    fren list. Itz dat eezzee.
    .
    If u duznt awlreddy b registered, it b eezee 2 due. Just klikking on deh
    Register buttin on deh brown bar @ deh top uv deh page. I speshlee like deh
    profilez dat saying a littul bit bowt u, but U duzn’t hav to giv owt ennee
    informashunz at awl.
    .
    I b noeing dat dere b tousandz uv u lurkerz owt dere!!
    I b wanting awl uv u az mai frenz.
    .
    Wii noaw return u 2 ur reglar lolz.

    • martianmary says:

      ohai cweenmj! Ai went to ur profile adn clikkeed on teh add fren! Ai iz rejstered adn logged in butt mai name iz still showing awp in black, nawt blu. Sumtymes Ai tink Ai nebber get teh hang ob dis. Oh wail, hoapfully wii wil bee frenz soon. martianmary (fka marymary till Ai founded owt sumwon els alriddy hab dat naem)

      • Dustbunneh says:

        ohai martianmary, u ownlee need to rite teh address of ur icanhascheezburger-page under “URI” wehn u commint!
        … at leest, taht’z how i fink iddis done…

        • jd says:

          In da meentime, you CAN reech teh profile ob anywun whos naym iz nawt blue. You hilite teh name you want to go tew teh profile ob, click on sumeone whose naym IZ blue, adn where it sez pictures-by-whoeber, hilite the whoeber part and payst the naym yu want to go to in, then press teh enter key. Yes, it’s a little long-winded, but it wurks adn it’s what I’b dun tew get tu newcomer’s profiles until they get the blue sorted owt.

      • cweenmj says:

        Oh Hai, martianmary!! Lemmee see if I kin helping u.
        *Digz owt strukshunz fer deh bloo name.*
        .
        If u wantz a bloo name (linkee) wifowt making a blog:
        Up at deh top rite uv deh ICHC page u can Login.
        If u never hav b4, u will hav 2 Register.
        Wunst u hab dun dat, den in deh commint sekshun at deh
        bottom uv deh ICHC page, filling in deh blankz thuslee:
        Name: ur_ICHC_name
        E-mail: ur_emayo_address
        URI: mine dot icanhascheezburger dot com/pictures-by-ur_ICHC_name
        .
        Den u can making deh commints. Dis will NOT gibbing u deh abatar. U will needing deh wordpretzel akkownt 2 getz deh abatar.
        Gud luk!!

    • Yes, jus by clicking on a few buttons on teh intertubz, yew can help a poooor frend-less cheezperson finally get a frend.
      .
      Teh tradejy of frendlessness afflicts many. Poar cweenmj, no has hardly any frenz. Almowst none. We needs to help. Yes we doez. Fer only pennies a day, yew can halp!!
      .
      Ai, purrrsonally, is prowd to be a frend-of-teh-cween. Yew can be 2!!

      • cweenmj says:

        Yes, it b berry sad. :( I only haz 1720 frenz. So far only a handful haz asked to b mai fren. I hav had 2 trakking down deh rest uv dem adn askinged dem 2 b mai fren. I noe dere b touzandz moar peepz owt dere. Doan making mii kum git u!!! I will hunt u down adn make u mai frend!!
        .
        :) Thankz 2 awl teh peepz hoo iz mai frenz!! :)

        • tookatze says:

          Thankz 2u2 cweenmj, yoo wur mai bery not-sekkund friend!
          @}-`-,— furr yoo.

          • jamamakitty says:

            ohai TK

            ai thot ai wuz loozin mai mind……. ai new ai saw sumwun noooo in skeattle….. wair duz yew libs? ai’m in auburn

            ai thot ai saw teasel wuz in skeattle but her in orygun…… NW YAY

      • gmawairzgreneshuz says:

        Yis, pore,pore mj habbing ownlee abowt 1800 frenz awn hur lizst. :lol:

      • PwnedBy2Kittehs says:

        OOH!! I wants to help! I wants to be FOC (Fren ov Cweenmj)!!
        .
        I didna kno wii wuz habing a be-frending fest…sigh…iz wuht I gits for habing mai helf git in teh wai ov mai ICHC playing tiem!
        .
        I haz to dig up mai ol ichc acc’t info, an den aks to be yur fren, mj! (diz mite nawt happen 2nite – I needs to go to sleeps soon…wun *jus* cannot git enuf rest in teh horspital!)

        • ohai PB2K. Hope yew is doing well.

        • gmawairzgreneshuz says:

          Wen yu fele up tu it aslo du mein if yu dint awlredy. Ai awlny hab abowt 130 frenz nd awlredy kant kepe trak ub hoo iz . wen yu goze tu cween’z lizst yuu kan rob *er, ai mene, boro* frum hurz. Ai skand abowt 100 pajez ub hurz wun dai. Ai putz in mai url but wp wuz a bit stuburn yestdy.abowt paostin it.
          http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-gramawgs/

        • cweenmj says:

          โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ
          โ™ฅโ™ฅ {{{{{{{{{PB2K}}}}}}}}} U gitz ur rest. โ™ฅโ™ฅ
          โ™ฅโ™ฅ I’ll b waiting pashuntlee fer u 2 b mah fren. โ™ฅโ™ฅ
          โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ

  15. catalogical humor says:

    Tihs is Blinky the Cat, but 2 presurve his identity, we will keep hem anonymous.

    (I stole that joke from Simpsons, South Park, etc.)

  16. Kitteh enterz Witless Purr-tekshun Program

    • KimW says:

      Basement Cat knows it iz curtains for mankind.

      Background playing Stings’ “I’ll be wachin yew”

  17. rodney dill says:

    I yoosd ta be a 10 mouse a day Kat

  18. MrsKittles says:

    I thought this was hilarious!! Deserving of 5 cheezburgers.

  19. amandakat says:

    yessss i am bloo!!!!!!!!!!!

    • cweenmj says:

      I duz a happee dans 4 u.
      **Dans, dans, dans!!*
      *Grabz amandakatz pawz adn dey spin wildlee rownd deh ruum.**

    • jd says:

      Der’s a typo in teh url. Got tew yur profile anyway adn put in a frend rekwest. Teh URL niids tew be: mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-amandakat/

  20. patticat says:

    Ai be stil tryin 2 figger dis out. Wut iz the reel time on teh commints? Ai putz it in at eleben adn teh page sez seben. Hoo noes the anser?

  21. patticat says:

    Nao theh page be sayin 4:55 and it be almost eleben. Wut givz?
    Also ai di the weird pretz and my abatar iz heer, but why iz it nawt bloo?
    Any body lissenin?

    • mary0spockn says:

      tis a misteree, but we fink teh ICHC is on Hawaii timezoan. lukee dem

      • jamamakitty says:

        ai finkso teh serbers be in hawaii wair teh big cheezes used tew be…….dey is nao in Skeattle.(big cheeses, nawt serbers)……. nebber figgered awt teh wai

    • mary0spockn says:

      oh, and to be bloo, you haz to lissen to BB King. or Linda r. singin bloo bayou.
      .
      wut? oh, wait. you mean teh name linkee fing.

      you has to sine up fr and login the ICHC account to get a clikkabul bloo naem.
      to get teh abatar, you has to has a WordPress acount, and put yr ICHC address thingee in the correct spot on the WordPress thing.
      at leeast, that’s how i thimk i diddit…

  22. Raindrops awn roses
    and whiskers awn kittens
    Vright cawpurr kettles
    and warm woolen mittens
    Brite paypurr packajez
    tied up wiff string
    Deez aer a foo uv mai faaaaaaaaavorite fings!

    Hai, jamamamamamamapajamakitteh! :)

  23. tehgoddessovwit says:

    arrgh! ohai 2 all! i dunno iffn u wil get 2 sees my ritings! i has trying to make cweenmj frens but it says ” o noes! servers not working – dr tiny cat to the or stat” oar somefink. also, i have not teh nollij ov when to come to teh cheezy place, i am inTX and teh time is all screwy i nebber now wen to come an see teh new wuns and posablee meet cheezfrens! i am wantinga to talk to cheezpeeps an maka da ferens an also figgers owt how 2 makes the gratelols for da homepage. ef ennyone has da ansers ta dese pressing kwestions peese to for writin me at thegoddessofwit at yahoo kthnxbai! ~Anndra tehgoddessofwit and slave to 3 lolkittehs at home

    • cweenmj says:

      Oh Hai goddess!! Dere b peepz heer alla tyme. But mostly during deh daylite owerz in deh US uv A. Deh serverz not b liking mii latelee. I will see if I can asking u 2 b mai fren.
      .
      Reed up deh fred a wayz abowt deh tyme.
      .
      To making deh lolz, dere b strukkshunz on deh top left uv deh page.
      .
      And most portintlee –WELKUM 2 Cheezland!!!
      *handz deh goddess a chokklit martoonee*
      Cheez.

  24. Daria says:

    aNOMNOMous?


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