Witness against
Witness against Basement Cat will speak only on condition of anon- … ana-… nobody knoes who he is
u will haz 2 go in da witness protecshun program.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: wonphatcat
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Cheezburger Network Blog
The shadow knows
Congratshumalashuns, gma. U haz scored twyce in a seben-fowld macrame!
Corngratz-hellashuns, gma wif teh grean shuz!!1!
Ur on tawp of teh macarame! Woohoo!
And i’z innit! Yay! Nawt sekond time!!1!
.
Sry, let maiself go a liddlol bit….
*hides again in cornur undr bed*
Dat’s oteh, yu can cum owt. Hoap yu nawt hab tu menny frenz nd reltibz undur dere. kershnew!
*peekz arownd leg of bed*
No no no frenz or relatibz, i swearz! Ownlee 4 mices (otay, maybee i has a confesshun to maek… )
.
*dans*
*sprinkles fairy catnip ober dustbunneh adn elebenty cheezburgers appear az if owt ob nowhere*
Doant hyde. Iz ok tu let ursef go a liddlol. Tahts wut ICHC iz 4! Conga rats ulalaishuns on ur nawt sekond macrame. Cum on owt adn dans.
Fankz Anni, datz gunna cum owt krukid. mite hab tu fikz it wif a pees ub ribun.
that you condition his anemones
STEND!!! I wantz u on mai frend list!! Y u no haz profile??
Stend bee trixy dat wai.
Tonight on Dateline…
An u disguyz himz voyse
Luks like it is BC!
Tssss… isn’t vereybuddee a witness of teh basementcat??
Mebbe Celing-Cat witnushies wud halp?
Ob mebbe is Jehuuvian-cat witnushies.. Meh nawt gud wiff relieshus gruwps.
yesh tear waz a conspearC
Sumfing wuz lawst in translashun.
We gawtz us a dubul brayd. cumawn tu tybootik fur refrchmins.
i’m in ur draypes, loohkin at-chew
geshundheit!
Iz eggsited! Thsi mai nawt sekkund trip tew teh tybootik! I can has bobblehed kitteh?
U can haz watebber ur hart dezyrez! Der iz awl kynds uv fabyoolus fings in teh tybooteek.
hear luk at dis a bobblyheaded tigger jest fer yoo
http://www.thebigcats.com/shop/images/t_16140.jpg
or tew kissin kittehs
http://www.adoptionblogs.com/media/users/fostadoptblogger/thumb_bobbleheadcats.jpg
Ohai 2w2b2s! Teh boblolhed tigger iz purrfekt! Fankuverymuchly!!
Stoopy weird-pwess. ^ sposed tew bee at teh tawp.
Oh, Hai ohahtahgoosiam!! U kin habbing wuteber u wantz!! Dere b sew mennee wundruz fingz at the ty boo teek!! Here b a kewt orinj bobblol hedded kitteh fer ya.
Yay! furr me is naat sekkond tiem too!! Dis bunneh has a happee!!
.
I can has wundruz fing too??
Uv korse u kin. Wut u like ? Cheezland sno-globez? oar kitteh faised loleepopz? Oar mebbe sum jewlreez? Dere b kitteh neklissez, brayslitz, adn eeringz.
Kitty skarfz? Dere b awl kindz uv drinkz in deh lowng ober dere, adn Unikornz in deh bakk ruum. Wuteber u wanting, it b heer.
Ooooh dere’s jus too much to choos from!
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*stairs blanklee at awl teh wundruz fingz*
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I noes! I’d liek teh cheezland sno-globe, plzthx! To look at befoar i goes to sleep…
*sighs and shakes hiz hed* Wen yu can’t decide, tayk wun ob eberyfing! Teh bootiik haz plenty, it woz recently restocked.
ohai cweenie! Fanks fer teh orinj boblolhed kitteh! Berry purty. An’ bouncee!! Kin u hep meh findz a cupplah sparklie stretchy collarz fer Elton n’ Bernie? Tehy were teh gud kittehs while ai wuz inna horspital. 4 dayz by themselves an’ no messes oar accidentz. Berry gud fer babeh kittehs. Tehy deserves gnu collarz!!
Yu wuz ina horsptl? pleh. du nawt want. iz nawt a gud plais fur a sik pursun tu be.
Teh horpital wuz nawt fun. Butt tehn neether wuz teh kidney infeckshun. Iz gettin bedder butt iz berry tired. Nau taht iz hoam mebbeh ai kin git sum rests. No rests inna horspital!
“No rests inna horspital!” Aynt taht deh truuf!! Dey awlwayz waking u up 2 chek deh pulse. oar taking deh blud preshurz. oar gibbing u deh pillz. PLEH!!
Glad u b home agin.
♥ Adn deh kittehz deserbing eggstra gushifudz and snorglulz fer beeing deh gud kitty-babeez. ♥
Heerz a linnk 2 sum prittee collerz
http://www.fantasycollars.com/page2.htm
.
deh home page uv deh store b heer
http://www.fantasycollars.com/
Wut’ll yu awl be habbing? Ai finkz a tawl icee cawfee wif rasperry flabur surup init. Dans arown da bombfyre? leik Haloween?
Ai will habz chokklit-marshmellow icee creme onna stik wit liddle chokklit sprinklez onnit. Anna homemaek Catluah n’ creme fer a chaser. Iz five o’clock hear onna High Planes!
Yu maikz da catluah? nom! Da rele stuf maikz me sneze. nd sun iz obur da yardarm so nobunny gunna sai sumfing abowt wut yu habbing.;)
Yes, ai maeks mai own. Iz berry berry gud. Izza big resippy, maeks almowst a gallun ob hooch. Taeks meh awl yeer tew drinkz it. *pours a liddle shot fer gma* Awl natchrool ingre…ingriiid…ingreed…stuffs innit. Mebbeh u wonts be sneezin.
Fankz, iz dulishus. iz saim az da icy cawffee but moar so. nd ai oanlee snezed wuns wen dustbun caim owt
Ohai, i can has teh icee cawfee too? Sounds delishoos… here’s ownlee half past midnait..
.
Hay, wy’s noone dansdansing arown teh bombfire??
*puts left foot in and shakes it all about*
Iz dansdansdanz arown teh bombfire–u jus kant tell cuz Iz wearin a halloweeny costumb. Tinks der r uuders, 2–maib wearin inbisible clowks or sumtin.
maibe we getz tu bommed?
Wair iz da bed yu be undur? sum peepuls shur dont telling muxh awn dere profylz.
Nd just in kase, ai du hab profyl but stil hab nawt gawt the bloo link dun. Haz da prolum wif da surbur bin fikzed? Dint want tu mes wif dat mes.
Teh bed i be undr is sleeping in TTH – an eeben teenee tinier cow’n'tree near TTI
… maybee taht eggsplanes my excent in lolspeek…?
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May i assk u were ur bed is sleeping?
Ahaa ai awlreddee findz out!
Bery nicee to has u as a frend nao
*Poorz gma a nise icee kawfee. Addz a sploootch uv razzberree sirup.*
*Poorz wun fer maisef, tew.*
Heer ya go!
*klinkee glasses*
Cheez!!
.
Think I’ll pass on dansin rownd deh bombfyre. Spent deh day owt fishing. Such hard werk, ya noe. i’ll just sit heer adn feed deh fyre.
Oh, fankz mj, dint noze ai wuz getting surbed. *slurppp!* Haow iz leggee? feling beddur, ai haop>
Leg b awl bedder now. I haz deh Airdesk — it b awsum! Wish I’d had it a long tyme ago.
umaizing hwoa we getz alawn wifowt sumfing we dont noze abowt. muxh beddur dan a heddesk tu ai bet.
o jess. much bedder dan heddesk. :snerk:
Kongratchewlayshunz on your nawt sekkond! Iz happy 2 join 2 ina icee cawffee, but w/o the flabur init. Ai knead teh icee cawffee soz Ai kan kewl down frum oyl-ing the fyerzmenz. MaiB Ai shuld cher wiff dem…
Kthxbai
Haow menny babeez it tuk tu maik enuf oyl fur da shinee fyrmenz?
Ai fink teasel2 uzed kokonut oyl, nawt bebbeh oyl.
Weel, GS cookies are made from reel girl scouts, so Ai geuss it is possible that the same holds true for da babee oyl….wich iz why mm is close–but Ai used mink oyl.
*neber haz gawt a strayt answer from teh local whole foods az tu what iz in squirrelly bread*
oooh!!! i hope teh Maus twins no heer u tawk abowt “bombfyre”
2 quote CweenMJ – oh teh hewjmannatee!!!!
U shoor dat iznt BC behine teh kertin playin a triksie on us?
Afinkso, martianmary!
ohai, teasel2. Ai doant fink Ai meets u bee4. *holds owt wite paw wif orinj stripey spots onnit* Ai lyke ur abatar, teh kitteh luks lyke himz laffin hard.
ohai 2 u 2, Martianmary! Iz relatibli new heer. Gladz u lik mai abatar. Iz Teasel (girlkitteh), warnin mii knat 2 disturb her–seh iz snorgle-pruf. Seh also holds owt her whitey paw an sayz Nice to meet u!, but seh is sneeky so watch owt 4 da pointy bits.
Teh Ceiling cat r watching j00 nae. U cantz hide frum ceiling kat
J00 r Doomd. kthxbai
I prowtest. Ceeling cat iz nawt ebil oar jujmental. Ceeling cat iz teh gibber ob catnip adn teh creator ob gushifuud. Ceeling cat iz sew amazing dat he created teh wurld in hiz sleep. By accident, I heer – he’d eeten sum really ripe cheez.
Wii intrupt dis fred for a short anounsmint.
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Cheezpeepz!! Lurkerz!! Komminterz!! LOL-makirz!!
did u b noeing dat u can haz a fren?
Doan wate!! Sine up noaw!
B deh nawt-sekkund on yer blok 2 haz Cween mj az ur berry own fren.
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just go 2 http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-cweenmj
adn klikking on “Add As Friend” Threw deh majikz uv deh intertuubz, I will
receeving an e-mayo telling mii uv ur burning desire 2 beeing mai fren.
Wen I get deh e-mayo, i will confirm teh rekwest adn u will beeing on mai
fren list. Itz dat eezzee.
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If u duznt awlreddy b registered, it b eezee 2 due. Just klikking on deh
Register buttin on deh brown bar @ deh top uv deh page. I speshlee like deh
profilez dat saying a littul bit bowt u, but U duzn’t hav to giv owt ennee
informashunz at awl.
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I b noeing dat dere b tousandz uv u lurkerz owt dere!!
I b wanting awl uv u az mai frenz.
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Wii noaw return u 2 ur reglar lolz.
ohai cweenmj! Ai went to ur profile adn clikkeed on teh add fren! Ai iz rejstered adn logged in butt mai name iz still showing awp in black, nawt blu. Sumtymes Ai tink Ai nebber get teh hang ob dis. Oh wail, hoapfully wii wil bee frenz soon. martianmary (fka marymary till Ai founded owt sumwon els alriddy hab dat naem)
ohai martianmary, u ownlee need to rite teh address of ur icanhascheezburger-page under “URI” wehn u commint!
… at leest, taht’z how i fink iddis done…
In da meentime, you CAN reech teh profile ob anywun whos naym iz nawt blue. You hilite teh name you want to go tew teh profile ob, click on sumeone whose naym IZ blue, adn where it sez pictures-by-whoeber, hilite the whoeber part and payst the naym yu want to go to in, then press teh enter key. Yes, it’s a little long-winded, but it wurks adn it’s what I’b dun tew get tu newcomer’s profiles until they get the blue sorted owt.
Oh how clebber ov u, JD. Ai tried it an it werks! 10 Q fur grate ideea.
Ditto! Tanks!
ohai T2…………. ai asked yew tew be mai fren!! lucky yew…
wair bouts in skeattle yew lib? ai libs in auburn
Ai waz happy u asked mii 2 b ur frend! Cheezpeeps r so nize!
Ai aktually lib in Salem OR–still in the Great NW, though! When Ai waz werkin I would go to Skeattle 4 one week a year fur mai job. I lubbed it!
Oh Hai, martianmary!! Lemmee see if I kin helping u.
*Digz owt strukshunz fer deh bloo name.*
.
If u wantz a bloo name (linkee) wifowt making a blog:
Up at deh top rite uv deh ICHC page u can Login.
If u never hav b4, u will hav 2 Register.
Wunst u hab dun dat, den in deh commint sekshun at deh
bottom uv deh ICHC page, filling in deh blankz thuslee:
Name: ur_ICHC_name
E-mail: ur_emayo_address
URI: mine dot icanhascheezburger dot com/pictures-by-ur_ICHC_name
.
Den u can making deh commints. Dis will NOT gibbing u deh abatar. U will needing deh wordpretzel akkownt 2 getz deh abatar.
Gud luk!!
Mmm yes, ai shud has nown taht ceenmj can eggsplane much muuch bedder than ai…
Yes, jus by clicking on a few buttons on teh intertubz, yew can help a poooor frend-less cheezperson finally get a frend.
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Teh tradejy of frendlessness afflicts many. Poar cweenmj, no has hardly any frenz. Almowst none. We needs to help. Yes we doez. Fer only pennies a day, yew can halp!!
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Ai, purrrsonally, is prowd to be a frend-of-teh-cween. Yew can be 2!!
Yes, it b berry sad.
I only haz 1720 frenz. So far only a handful haz asked to b mai fren. I hav had 2 trakking down deh rest uv dem adn askinged dem 2 b mai fren. I noe dere b touzandz moar peepz owt dere. Doan making mii kum git u!!! I will hunt u down adn make u mai frend!!
Thankz 2 awl teh peepz hoo iz mai frenz!! 
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Thankz 2u2 cweenmj, yoo wur mai bery not-sekkund friend!
@}-`-,— furr yoo.
ohai TK
ai thot ai wuz loozin mai mind……. ai new ai saw sumwun noooo in skeattle….. wair duz yew libs? ai’m in auburn
ai thot ai saw teasel wuz in skeattle but her in orygun…… NW YAY
Yis, pore,pore mj habbing ownlee abowt 1800 frenz awn hur lizst.
OOH!! I wants to help! I wants to be FOC (Fren ov Cweenmj)!!
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I didna kno wii wuz habing a be-frending fest…sigh…iz wuht I gits for habing mai helf git in teh wai ov mai ICHC playing tiem!
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I haz to dig up mai ol ichc acc’t info, an den aks to be yur fren, mj! (diz mite nawt happen 2nite – I needs to go to sleeps soon…wun *jus* cannot git enuf rest in teh horspital!)
ohai PB2K. Hope yew is doing well.
Wen yu fele up tu it aslo du mein if yu dint awlredy. Ai awlny hab abowt 130 frenz nd awlredy kant kepe trak ub hoo iz . wen yu goze tu cween’z lizst yuu kan rob *er, ai mene, boro* frum hurz. Ai skand abowt 100 pajez ub hurz wun dai. Ai putz in mai url but wp wuz a bit stuburn yestdy.abowt paostin it.
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-gramawgs/
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥ {{{{{{{{{PB2K}}}}}}}}} U gitz ur rest. ♥♥
♥♥ I’ll b waiting pashuntlee fer u 2 b mah fren. ♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
*Sigh* Dat wuz spozed 2 b a nice prittee box made uv hartz. Poo on Werdpretzel.
Tihs is Blinky the Cat, but 2 presurve his identity, we will keep hem anonymous.
(I stole that joke from Simpsons, South Park, etc.)
Kitteh enterz Witless Purr-tekshun Program
Basement Cat knows it iz curtains for mankind.
Background playing Stings’ “I’ll be wachin yew”
I yoosd ta be a 10 mouse a day Kat
I thought this was hilarious!! Deserving of 5 cheezburgers.
test
yessss i am bloo!!!!!!!!!!!
YAY!!! Wii lubz ower bloo frenz. ♥♥
yay … that means you gets teh blooz music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIaRUVWPuOE
tanks cweenmj
I duz a happee dans 4 u.
**Dans, dans, dans!!*
*Grabz amandakatz pawz adn dey spin wildlee rownd deh ruum.**
Der’s a typo in teh url. Got tew yur profile anyway adn put in a frend rekwest. Teh URL niids tew be: mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-amandakat/
Ai be stil tryin 2 figger dis out. Wut iz the reel time on teh commints? Ai putz it in at eleben adn teh page sez seben. Hoo noes the anser?
Nao theh page be sayin 4:55 and it be almost eleben. Wut givz?
Also ai di the weird pretz and my abatar iz heer, but why iz it nawt bloo?
Any body lissenin?
tis a misteree, but we fink teh ICHC is on Hawaii timezoan. lukee dem
ai finkso teh serbers be in hawaii wair teh big cheezes used tew be…….dey is nao in Skeattle.(big cheeses, nawt serbers)……. nebber figgered awt teh wai
oh, and to be bloo, you haz to lissen to BB King. or Linda r. singin bloo bayou.
.
wut? oh, wait. you mean teh name linkee fing.
you has to sine up fr and login the ICHC account to get a clikkabul bloo naem.
to get teh abatar, you has to has a WordPress acount, and put yr ICHC address thingee in the correct spot on the WordPress thing.
at leeast, that’s how i thimk i diddit…
ohai mais oui……….. ai finkso her needs tew login……. or puts her url onna wp profyle page….. see pikshur
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1347000
whew!!!
*sigh o releefs*
itz a gud fing you came by! who noes wot lame advize i mite give
she just seemed so lonelee doon here wif no buddy lissnin.
awwwwwwwwwww dats cyoot…….. yew wuz dooin fine!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYRHqhQkf2o
loneleeee goatherds know awl abawt loneleeeeeeeeee
yo del ay hee hoo
i hav bilt up a nimunitee tew teh goteherd at teh moment cuss i hav dun gone and gived myself a eerwrum.
♫oooon bloo bayoooou.
[big bref]
[belting out voiz]
♫i’m gowin bak sum day, come wot may to bloo baaaayooo…♫
Where those fishing boats
With their sails afloat
If I could only see
That familiar sunrise
Through sleepy eyes
How happy I’d be
wun ob mai favrits tew…………. but dat old song “Am I blue” is so perfect wen ai heers peeps sayin…….. “am i blooooo”
yes, yr linkee is the puuuuurrrrrrrrrfekt fr the “amibloo” kweshcun.
nize touch.
but you jest reeeyinforz’d the ♫bloo byyyyyy yoooooooo .
i sing just like Linda. in my majinashun, dat is!
for a year or so i useta commute to N’Orluns cross lake ponchartrain and in teh morning we rilly would see teh sun just rised over teh bayous and teh sunsetz coming hoam.
an awl teh spanish moss
ai libbed in Bat on ruj wen ai wuz liddel…….. mai dad wuz teechin ROTC at LSU at teh time……. an army brat, ai kin shows yew one
kewl.
♪♫
Gonna see my behbee agin
Gonna b wif sum uv mai frenz
Maybe I’ll feel bedder agin
On Blooo Bayoo
♪♫
Savin nikkulz saving dimes
Workin til deh sun don’t shine
Lukkin 4werd 2 happier times
On Bloooo Bayoooooooooooooo
.
Fankz fer deh eerwurm.
my pleshure!
missouri luvs companee
oh teh 2 ob yew……….. kwite teh serenaid!! jmk finks herz will sign tem up 4 americasgottalent!!!
O, rly? I must visiting her sumtyme.
onlee werk if you haz sum sorta bwayne interface to
♫lissen to the music playin in my hed.
my IRL voice is best suited for keepin the skeery aileeyuns aaway frum teh 3rd rok frum teh sun. we awl has ower talentz:
bloom where yr planet.
here’s yer bloom (fanks to GMWGS)
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1566211
Dat sneekee gma. She stole mai ladybug!!
Ai haz dun all dat..log in to IHCH. Gawn to weirdPretzel and set up wit mah profile page but stil nawt bloo. If da timez iz in Hawaii hao dux ai no when teh cheezpeeps iz reely tawkin?
whoo…lotz ub typos dere, but ai hopez u knowz wut ai meanz.
Hmmmm. *goez 2 get strukshunz fer terning bluu.*
Brb.
Heer b mai boilerplate help fer wordpress.
.
if u going to weerdpress dot com and log in, dehn on deh top left find
My Account , dehn My Profile page, u shud b abul to add a web page address. Scroll down 2 where it sez Website and put in wut u want 2 b ur link.
Frinstans http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-/patticat
will take peepz to ur ICHC profile page. It will bekum a link so wen u iz logged in to weerdpress ur name will b bloo and peepz can b klikking on it.
.
On deh profile page u can also b loading a pitcher 2 bkum ur abatar in deh box labulld My Picture. Clik browse adn it will let u find a picture on ur computer. wen u have fownd deh wun u wanting to use, klikk on upload image.
.
After u hav set up deh profile page, u shud logging owt uv wordpress and close deh ICHC window and deh web browser. Dehn delete deh ICHC cookie in ur internet temp filez. (if u not abul 2 deleting deh cookie, it will still werk, will just taking longer for deh link adn deh avatar to showing up.) den start deh browser and log bak into weerdpress. den going to deh ICHC.
.
But member dat deh werd press server likingz 2 think bowt fingz 4 a day oar 2 before letting deh whirlld see ur masterpeece.
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Since u alwreddy haz deh abatar, yur name shud turn bloo rite away.
Fanks, cweenmj. Ai iz nao logd in to the weirdpress and wil trai dis agin. Hopez it werkz did tyme.
Patticat, fur whar ai am, I jus adds 5 hours to teh cheeztime. Wach when u post and see wut time it iz an din u jus needz tu ‘member wut to add to teh time fur ur time zone.
Tanks too u bof, Ai iz nao bloo! Yeah! But iz stil habbin trubblz wid teh time. Hao do you know if you add or subtract? mebbe sillee qwestshun, but iz reely new 2 dis stuf,
Sorree, iz bak. Dere beein 6 hours difrence. Is nao am here. Duz ai = or -?
dat wuz sposed 2 be + or -? Soree agin.
R u saying it b 1:00 am wheere you iz?
Den wen u lukz at deh ICHC time u addz 6
owerz to noeing wut deh tym b wear u r at.
And O. I duz a dans uv joi fer ur blooness!!
*grabz patticat pawz adn dey go
*Dans, step, twirl, dans, hop, slidey step,
*dans, tappity, tappity, twirl*
WHEEEEEE!!!!!
Raindrops awn roses
and whiskers awn kittens
Vright cawpurr kettles
and warm woolen mittens
Brite paypurr packajez
tied up wiff string
Deez aer a foo uv mai faaaaaaaaavorite fings!
Hai, jamamamamamamapajamakitteh!
ohai oobark!! ai alwais smile wen ai see yer woodsy owl abatar!! haiku jack referred to kitty “sandpaper kisses” wuns an ai thot it wuz teh perfect diskripshun!!
Mai Zeus NEBBER kisses meh.
arrgh! ohai 2 all! i dunno iffn u wil get 2 sees my ritings! i has trying to make cweenmj frens but it says ” o noes! servers not working – dr tiny cat to the or stat” oar somefink. also, i have not teh nollij ov when to come to teh cheezy place, i am inTX and teh time is all screwy i nebber now wen to come an see teh new wuns and posablee meet cheezfrens! i am wantinga to talk to cheezpeeps an maka da ferens an also figgers owt how 2 makes the gratelols for da homepage. ef ennyone has da ansers ta dese pressing kwestions peese to for writin me at thegoddessofwit at yahoo kthnxbai! ~Anndra tehgoddessofwit and slave to 3 lolkittehs at home
Oh Hai goddess!! Dere b peepz heer alla tyme. But mostly during deh daylite owerz in deh US uv A. Deh serverz not b liking mii latelee. I will see if I can asking u 2 b mai fren.
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Reed up deh fred a wayz abowt deh tyme.
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To making deh lolz, dere b strukkshunz on deh top left uv deh page.
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And most portintlee –WELKUM 2 Cheezland!!!
*handz deh goddess a chokklit martoonee*
Cheez.
aNOMNOMous?