cow cat sez…
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
nawt sekkund! ai lernd.
HALP! ai has fawlen an kant git up!
honoes!! yoo bettar cawl life alert
Yez! cawl dem immeediatlee!
Yes! dis iz da kined ub fing we liekz. Yu did gud. nd maibe wut anni sed she dint’ see da secund commint b4 she rote. Conga rat shoe lacez nd wut wud yu liek fur sillibrashunz?
Dats troo, Ai didn see the sekund bit `coz Ai wuz tryin 2 fink uv a clebber nawt sekond, Sowwy Ai wuz a bit hastee. ;oops:
Dat shud not be ;oops: Ai ment
yes
Singingz nd dans tohttp://youtube.com/watch?v=syVLIgzLfTw ?
Hope ai did dis rite.
Ai wuz traing tu getz “cow-cow boogie” but wp eted it. ai nedez mor praktis.
It’s nawt eezee 2 think uv sumfing wurf sayin an gettin it tyeped b4 ennywun else. iz it?
Owld LolDonald had a coeezburger, ei ei nom.
Gratz KITTEH, u wants sum coffees? i hav sum spare and has 2 go 2 beds soon
But teh munnies is awlwaiz appreesheeatud.
…
Oh… an Moooooooo!
i can haz tipjawr?
caus tipping is nawt a citi in chyna!
Iz dat in PoeLand?
Congratshumalashuns, but u iz suppozd 2 say sumfing funnee 2 do wiv teh lol!
Liek now turn me ober plsthx.
das it ai gibe up
O noe, doant gib up – you iz lernin fast. We awl lern bai makin mistayks Ai mus noe ebber soe much bai naow `coz Ai’ve maed soe mennee mistayks! Keep tryin an don mined mee.
*gluez maifavvritKITTEH tu dah keebord* Dere. Nau yu cant gib up. Gibs goe tu da kitteh anyway. Yu are tu hab drinkses and danses, until dizzy an’ opshunally drunk. Wich cawzez wich iz up tu yu.
Call me a pamcakes an turn me ober.
Reminds me of my cat Puzzle who I often called Cow-Cow-Kitty!
Meeoooooooooooh
Dis kitti iz a Gateway tu a parallel loliberse.
Groan! @@@@@
Gud 1, jd.
Donut laff at meez, it hurts meh
I iz not fat just generously proporshuned
and ar gonna start Catkins 2mmoroz
Holstein Kitteh “cud” get up if kitteh wanted two.
LOL!
plz no turn me intwo stake kthx
Ib stakes com frum inside cows, den iffen kitteh luuks liek a cow an’ haz no stakes inside, hooman is tu gib dem tu kitteh, rite?
Joo bettur luuk aowt for sillee French (sry… Frawnsch gais wif a traybooshay… tehy mite gib joo a fling at teh sillee Ingerlish Knnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniggits!!!
Sry, forgrot to close parens after Frawnsch.
Y noe kin edit? Iz stoopy.
Iz K, woozled — WerdPretzel wood prolly nom ur kloas printyseez ennywaiz n putz n uh smylee fays (sorta liek dis…)
Runz awai! Runz awai!
donut step in teh cow-kitteh-piyz……
knot faire. cow-kitteh can leev cow-kitteh-piyz in ur shooz.
Kitteh sez taht tihs bees her iymytashun ov ‘Elsie teh Bourden Caow’;
(Hmmmmm, yuu nawt bees iympresseded!!)
K,……butt Kitteh sez pleez, Pleez, PLEEZ, duu nawt triez tuu mylke her!!!!
*munches poppycorn an waits furr teh poasts ub owtrage*
*pulls up chair by Kafleen*
I can has popcorm, too? I bringed marfmellows for when teh flames get goin good, and toklit an gramcrackers so wes can has s’mores.
mmmmm. s’mores.
kno owtrage heer, ai thinks that kitteh shud hab a belli rub!
to mak up fur teh tippin.
hoo’s got teh snorgul snorkul?
ai can haz s’more?
btw, ai just addeded pikshures awn teh yahooooooooooo syte!
I meks u wun!
ohai, sneeky! luk at mai commint below fur a supryz!
Hmmph! ohai, kafleen, yur sinein naim iz bloo so it lukz liek cud fined yur paje but it won’t show me nuffingz. dis craizee fing! Ai fink wp iz part of plot tu kepe us orf balans mintuly.
Oh, foo. Dat linky not good. Nat nawty linky. U click on mah linky noaw.
It good.
smores!!
yew are a sneeky dawnkee noaw??? oh noes!!!!
Oh, juss fur teh moment
Hi dere, udder Kafleen.
I is wurrkin on a note too u in mah mind. I is tryin to condense it down frum
a book.
I’s so cormfuzed. Dere som manees Kafleens. Some Kafleens am donkees, some am nawt. Some am nawt-sekkun, some am nawt.
I srry, Dr. Tinycat. As furr as I knoe, onlee wun Donkey exsists. Dat r
kafleen, or kafleentehsneakydonkey, or crockygatur, or buttpaintroll.
I not can think ub any uther ub mah aliases rite now…
Uh, ohs. Wait. I DOO theenk I saw anuddur donkey on heer….
*heddesk*
You will noe me by my wurks…
Mmmm. S’mooooores.
Whilst UR wating.. Heer’s alol I madid U Kafleen.. I haz bin triing 2 post it awl D dai!!! Since tihs MAWNING !! Grrrrr…. 4 Times….* Ratz*
Pls 2 add teh aich tee tee pee :// Maibe taht’ll werk!!
.
mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1415712
.
Bai naow tihs lol nawt seemz sew funni 2 mii!!
ohio iddd, i luvs ur lol 4 kafleen. it be berry phunnie
Gee… fanks, Punkin.
Teh REELLY funnee fing iz… now tehre will prawblee be elebenty ov ‘em!!! 
no leftovers b’day kakes?
I sabed sum furr u….
ty
::traiz an faylz tu haid snikerin::
I’m sawr…::snrk:: I’m sawree, kitteh. U iz :snkr:: riet; it nawt funee. Let meh halp u get upz..
BWaHAHAHAHA!!!1!!1!
dis cowcat needz lose some wait else be turned into cheezburger!
NNNOOOOOEEEEESSSS!!11! NAWT KOW KITTEH! iz dalymayshun kitteh!
*self-satisfyed shmerk*
OH NOOOOOEEEESSS!!11!1! did ai miss teh donkeez birdae? heeer kafleen! ai haz a sawng adn a prezzint foar yew, but ai haz tew goes soon!
*fanfare*
Welkum tew Doolok, such a purrfekt town,
Heer wii haz sum roolz, let us lay dem down:
dunt mayk wayvz, stae in line
and wii’ll git alawng fine
Doolok iz a purrfeckt plays!
Plz keep off ov teh grass,
Shyn yur shoo, wyp yur…fays!
Doolok iz, Doolok iz,
Doolok izza purrfekt plays!
*poof*
heer ya goes! a pic of a very starleded donkee adn a fyurmin, just foar yu awn yur birfdae! {{{{{♥kafleen♥}}}}}
*snurt*
I LUB dat scene, NIPper!!
Tank u verreh muches!
yur willlykumz! did yew lyke teh pandaz ai sent yew?
ai iz prolly nawt gunna beez heer awn mai birfdae, but ai tryz tew bee heerz teh dae aftur! yew can frow me a party den!
We sended mah Daddaeh a kard wiv a dalmatian an puppehs an a liddle spotty kitteh !!!
He haz teh Dalmatians-I ♥ dem!!!
wish ai coold. ai nebber lyked goggies, speshully big wunz.
*shmerks too*
Dat kitteh am big-boneded.
Warmf inna winter an shayde inna summer.
dose r sum big @#$’n bones.
N uh big tummee (wayt! datz nawt uh boan… )
Gots 2 be big boneded to hold up taht much flab…
What a lovely kitty pie.. she looks like my pillow.. wanna hug her tight..
– http://www.anyinput.com
nao spokecat fur Caty Craigz.
(Jon Carroll SF Chron wrute abut pge yestadayz) LOL
Dus Jon still hab dat grate cat hee used to rite abowt? Wuzz it Archie??? I cantz
remember…
Grate cat gone to ceiling catz plaz sory to sai.
Yas, I wur afred ub dat.
Wut abowt pge? Ai uzd to be werkin der.
thats udderly amazing
I Like To Moove It Moove It
I Like To Moove It Moove It
I Like To Moove It Moove It
Ya Like To (MOOVE IT!)
Yud LIKE to moove it. Gud luk, Chubby Huggs.
*snurt*
Yase, yase, I snurtted @ mehself.
I misted yur birfdae. Hoppe it were happiez!
Is still mah burfday,,….u noe missed!! It r happeh an u juss maded it moar!
O hai Kafleen! Happee Birtdai! I lefted u a pome on de udder fred – wuz layt gettin hoem tudai!
Strainje fings R goin awn ’round heer!!! Tihs commint wuz sposed to beez heer an endid up on a hole nuther thred!!! Do dee doo doo.. ♫ ♫
Cow kitty sez, “I wuz gone to maik yu a cake… But madid yu a pie insted!!”
Doan wurry, it’s not u…
*snurts*
Ov corse nawt!!! *snikker*
It *cud* nawt bee!
*heddesk*
*owtch*
OMG, yoo guis, my cheezfrens—I just had a horrible experience trying to adopt a cat off craigslist dot com!!! (to be fair, I also had a very good experience adopting another cat)….I’m pretty shook up—there were threats, and so on, I don’t want to go into it too much just yet—-but, just let me state: PLEASE be careful! You don’t know who you might be dealing with! Here’s what I’ve learned: don’t give them your e-mail address or your personal phone number or your full name, but rather go strictly through the craigs list e-mails and channels! I’ve lived in my town over 15 years, always had the same (listed) number and (stoopy mii) use my name in my e-mail address. I am too trusting. ANd I bet some of you, deer cheezfrens R 2, but that’s gonna change: Kitkay will be more careful with personal information!
{{{{{kitkay}}}}}
Canz u hab warm bubblol baff an tummy warmeeng drinkee?
I srry.
Urs is a good reminder.
oKAY, i just talked to my sister, who is a computer expert, so that I can find out how to end my current e-mail account, or at least to block e-mails from this guy. Scarry. Must not be so trusting, guilable, whatever—it is hard to understand how or why there ar such bullies (and you never know how far they will go), but ICHC is a haven of animal lovers and THE KINDESS PEOPLE ON THE INNERTOOBES!!!
Ai’m glad u hav sum help. Go tu teh poleece if u need tu,
against tihs bully. Thanx fur teh warnin. {{kitkay}}
{{{kitkay}}} I am VERY glad you’re OK!!
Some Tips for all, various & sundry:
Email: You can generally set up multiple e-dresses with your ISP. The “real” one goes to family & friends only, with strict instructions not to give it out, not even to your best friend from high school. Set up others – one to give to your office, one to give to casual acquaintances, one for adopting kittehs, as needed – and dump them as needed. Or use free emails from Yahoo, GMail etc for the ‘dumpable’ addresses.
.
Another method is to use an anonymous temporary email address. I use Pookmail and Jetable (h-t-t-p://w-w-w.pookmail.com/ and h-t-t-p://w-w-w.jetable.org/en/index, remove the dashes). The Pookmail you have to go get, the Jetable will forward everything to your regular email address and you can set it to last up to a month.
.
Phone numbers: Landlines – again, your real home number goes to family & friends only, with threats of E.A.Poe-esque consequences should they give it out. And while unlisted phone numbers cost money, you can list it free under any name you specify (when you get a new number). Do you know how many “A”s there are in the Manhattan phone book? Personally, mine is listed under the name of a character (a real pr**k, too) from an Ayn Rand novel. Of course NEVER list your address. Last landline I got, I told the phone company not to list the address & the next book that came out had full name, full address, I called up, screamed ‘why didn’t you publish my Social (in)Security Number!?’ I had a new number & corrected listing in a week, no charge… which was fine with me, because I had been getting calls for a restaurant due to peoples propensity to transpose digits (yes, I thought about ‘taking reservations’).
.
Cell phone numbers for the boss (you WANT to be able to turn him off) and more casual friends… Pay-As-You-Go phones like Virgin Mobile or T-Mobile are can be very cheap and disposable, no commitment, so you’re not tied to a number. Creep calling? Drop the phone in the recycling bin on your way into Best Buy to get a new one (keep a low balance & don’t transfer your number).
.
Last but not least on the phone is…. DAMN! What happened to CraigsNumber? You used to be able to get a temporary phone number that would forward calls to your real number for a set period of time… probably DHS got wind of it… dammit. Hmmm… Future 9 has a paid solution (h-t-t-p://w-w-w.future-nine.com/craigslist.html)
.
And use a PO Box or Mailboxes Etc or similar for all your mail. In the next zip code is better – especially if you live in a small town of busybodies like I do. Packages get delivered to you at the office if at all possible.
.
Lie about your name & where you live to people you meet while traveling unless there’s a specific reason not to. A lie won’t hurt them – the truth could hurt you.
.
And that’s just a minimum level for privacy. Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.
Sorry to go on so long. There’s more, and I can give you better sources for information if you’re interested, just let me know.
w0w, that’s alot of rlly good ideas, woozled! Thnks so much! I never would have thought of these or known about them without your help. I had planned, as a result of this experience, to change my phone number, and “un-list” it, but it amazes me all that you know about phones and addresses!
It seems like a hassle to get a P.O. box. But we also live in a small-ish town, and our mailman is actually a neighbor who lives three blocks from me. We’ve always had a cordial relationship, and I hate to be so distrustful….What I’ve learned the past 3 years or so, is that you can’t tell a person who is sneaky and subversive just by knowing them. How I hates to be suspicous of people! What a whirled wii live in!
PO box isn’t difficult to deal with, even in small towns you can frequently access the boxes 24/7. If you don’t want to seem distrustful to your nieghbour, tell him it’s to help prevent ID theft if he asks. And DON’T fill out a change of address form, the PO sells that data to direct mailers!! Just start using the PO box & changing it with the companies you do business with – eventually, you’ll get nothing but junk mail at home, then take away your mailbox.
Don’t think of it as ‘being suspicious of people’. You don’t think of fastening your seatbelt in a airplane as ’strapping yourself into a metal box surrounded by 35 tons of highly flammable fluid’ do you? (Yikes, how many peeps have just sworn off flying?). It’s a safety measure, that’s all. to me, it’s second nature. There is what my family can have, and there is what the rest of the world can have. they are different, that’s all.
Great Book: “How to be Invisible”, J.J. Luna, Canary Islands Press
Can I stop talkin lyk tihs naow?
O… tahts moar betterer.
Ai haz awlwaiz bin a bit ov teh prybassy bug…
cheezburga storuj bin.
ees evn got a littl arro of a nose, like “put cheezburger heer plz…”
O Kai. Kafleen, you looks liek a maybee expert about dis. Yu chozenwun!
I’m a dyslexic Lolspeaker noob named BGCMeowrrrr. On lernin kerv.
Cant lurk 4ever.
how do U get yor lil icon ov yr Shmrek donkee to appeer on yr posts in teh furst plc??
I has a catpic i assighnd to my “dashboard” but it don’t com up when I post. Still lernin howta do dat too.
So many memes, so li’l time, said teh nowher man, parafrayzd by mee.
THX f any halp U or enywun can sug jest
n AI enjoy all teh luvin afeckshinat posts of evry uder cat on dis site…Rock ON!
Oh hai!
Well, if you want an avatar, you need a wordpress account. Go to WordPress.com
and sign up for an account. You will be able to upload a picture of your choice.
It will need to be a certain size.
If you has questions or needs a halp you can email, me, too. Just be sure to tell me you are
bgcmeowrrr.
kafleenthedonkey@gmail.com is my internet welcoming home.
Thx, Fanks, Ari GATO,not tew menshun Spasibo! Will look in2
WordPress after clng up 4 wknd houseguests!
EET
Mor
Cheezburgas!!!
I knowz dis is naut da plaise but… I haz a BIG sad….
**lolspeak off** Twice this week I saw two gorgeous exotic kitties all smushed in the road! They were sooo pretty! I wish everyone cared like cheezpeeps do.
**lolspeak on**
Tankx
{{{old lurker}}}
Dat yoozyoowullee messiz me up 4 un ower oar sew… 
Ebbree tym I seez uh kitteh inna rode (eggzotik oar uvverwyz) I haz uh sad n uh kry
Ai kry too! ( And ai is alzo old as dert )
*snert*
I nawt az owld az dert, but I wuz rownd win it wuz steel n skewl…
{{{{{{{{{experienced lurker}}}}}}}}}
(Weer nawt owld! Weer wel trabbeled!)
Ai’m sowry yoo hadded tew sea such a offel fing.
After all these years, the best technique I could come up with is to look (if necessary to avoid, for instance) VERY fast, and then look away even faster.
Still working on the “don’t think about it afterwards” part, though…
To oldLurker, aaahs, altosinger, johnson442, Eve;
I new to inet memes. Just learned abt NEDM & Mottles. Ai felt JUSLLIKEDAT!!!!
I’m an artist, wanta create art tribute to por baby, eben tho Im yrs too late.
in Animaloveland, all times has to be now anyway.
Cow-Kitteh sez, “Mai milkshaik bwings awl teh boyz too teh yard!”
and there like…
MOO
Chawklit an vanilla kitteh rules!!
Diversiteh Kitteh! Kumbayah, y’all!
luks mor lyk liko rich and banillie
oh, an don make me into a cheezburger kthnxbai.
Umm, ahem! Zis iz nawt cowcat. Zis iz calicocat.
Wut? wairz da orinjiness? maibe iz bruvvur ub calko? But duz luk tu floofy tu be helfy.
Derez sum orinjiness onna bak feetz n onna chineechinchin. But moastlee blak n wite. Mebbe dis b uh “cali-cow” kitteh!
Iz “Claris” deh Caow Kitteh retoured to virtooel lifes!!!!
Uh…actually the tipping is pretty funny. As is the time I milked your udders and made ice cream.
Tipping over dis kitteh rekwiers menny handz…hoepz no wun can has a beef abowt it!!1!!
Me izz kiteh wiz horzez, and kitehz thinkz that horzez are cowz wizout uze oder than bein slavez to kittehz!!!
horzez ar fud, nom nom nom, and kitteh tranzport!!!!
Horzes r NAWT fuds, tehy R frenz!
KITTEHHH SLAVEZ I TELL U….
LIKE HOOMANZ ARE KITTEH SLAVEZ 2
dat der be a very funneh lolziez!!!!!