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Teh diet…


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Teh diet… week 1…week 2…week 3

u on da atkins diet?

picture: Austin Bunger. lol caption: (?)

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» 161 Comments

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

 
  1. annipuss says:

    Its wurkin

    • leeza-b says:

      congrats on top spot in teh brayd Annipuss, shud we throw owrselfs a party? I’m finking all u can eet. Lukkin at those kittehs is giving me a hongry.

      • annipuss says:

        Ai jus had mai lunsh, but as ushuel Ai’z still hongree! Iffn Ai wuz alloud, Ai’d nom awl dai.

        • leeza-b says:

          it’s brekfust tiem heer… I is having a Ingerlish muffin. :D

          • annipuss says:

            Ai libs in TTI an Ai’ve nebber had an Ingerlish muffin!
            It’s 3.30 pm heer, cold, windee and luks as iffn it wil rane soon. Pleh!

            • annipuss says:

              :oops: I meen 2.30 (naow its 2.35pm.an cowntin!)

            • leeza-b says:

              I thot u mite be in TTI, from the lunch ref. ;)
              so, tipikul wether fur TTI, rite?
              Ingerlish muffins is prolly like the fronsch fries.. sumthin we maded up over heer, maybe?

              • annipuss says:

                Tehre iz 2 kindz uv muffin ai finkso. Wun iz liek a thikk bredd roll dat getz split an tostid and wiv lotsa budder onit, teh udder is bit liek cup caek wiv blooberris or sunm uvver froots in. Ai fink teh bred wuns iz teh Ingerlish wun,but Ai dunno wot u haz.

                • two_kittehs says:

                  Uz is rite

                  • leeza-b says:

                    the bred wun wuz wot I DID has, but now it is eeted.

                    • annipuss says:

                      Duz u haz crumpets? Sum peepl in TTI callz dem muffins. Dey is a yeest batter cookt on a flat griddle in ring moldz bowt 3inshes across an 1/2 insh fick. Az it cooks, teh batter gets lotsa wholez init. Dey is toted 2, teh budder drips owt awl doun yur chin!

                      • martoonie says:

                        Mmmmm crumpets. Dey is basikly just a yoosful cormtayner for teh meltid butter. Nomnomslrrrrp.

                      • cratz says:

                        I’z pritty sure that wut we in teh US call Ingerlish muffns is wut our Ingerlish cuzzins calls a crumpet (not to be confuzzled wif a strumpet).

                        • martoonie says:

                          Nononononono – teh crumpit an teh Inglish muffin is teh diffrent fings. Teh Inglish muffin is kinda bready an u cut in 2 an toste. But teckscher is yooniform. Teh crumpit is maded wiv teh bakin soda an has teh bubblols awn teh surfiss – an u does nawt cut in harf, just toste, an teh butter melts into awl teh holes. Teh teckschr is moar like a sorta batter tahn bred.
                          Mai eggstensiv nollidge of teh bakery items, let me show u it!

                        • PwnedBy2Kittehs says:

                          dis awl sownd nommy!!!
                          (I can has a blah bagel fer brekfest, but wuz free, so nawt so bad)

                        • martoonie says:

                          free fud is always gud!

                        • Phillipe d'Beaker says:

                          hrrmph. speekin as a sine-tist, ai wud say that this debate about the muffins, enerlish muffins, crumpets, meltymelty butter (and jam, and marmylade, and, in TTI, teh clotted creem), and so on … needs sum experymental data. Preferably lawts of experymental data. Toasted data, served warm wif all the trimmings. And a pot of tea, or teh fresh-brood cawfee. And teh awrange jooce. …. nomnomnom.
                          *wanders off to carry out scientific research*

                        • Aahz says:

                          Dat much reesurch cayunt b kerreed owt bai ownlee wun peep. U neadz sum hep…
                          I vawluntearz… ;-)
                          **wandurz awf n gitz sum uv da spearmintal data 2 nom…I meen 2 test…**

                        • mary douglas says:

                          OO OO OOOO! Prof. d’Beeker, sir!!
                          *waves 2 frnt paws wildly in air*

                          I can has participashuns in spearmints wif the muffins, enerlish,muffns, crmptz, meltymelty butter, an teh clotted cweem?!

                          *luks glum*

                          hmmmm. too laet fr elevenses. wae too laet fr second brkfest
                          *brightens*

                          itz gotta be tea time sumwheres in middul erf!!
                          *

                        • lunarmommy says:

                          itz a tuff job, but sumwun gotz to do it.
                          kan i help??

                        • Phillipe d'Beaker says:

                          hrrmph… perhpas ai may be alloweded to quote from the venerable r.a. fisher, who rote in hims classic book “Eggs Spearmintal Dee Sine” the following memrable wurds:
                          “By increasing the size of the experiment, we can render it more sensitive, meaning by this that it will allow of the detection of a lower degree of sensory discrimination … The same result could be achieved by repeating the experiment, as originally designed, upon a number of different occasions …”
                          Wut duz this meen? It seems cleer to me. It b meaning that the more we noms, and more often we nomis it, wif the more kittehs nomming, the better the data will be. We can has better data? Is the sinetificllly noble thing to do. So, pleeze pass teh butter and marmylade …

                        • leeza-b says:

                          I can halps too??
                          **takes teh crumpet and asks lunarmommy to pass teh hunny**
                          But wut abowt a control groop professur?
                          Hoo r u going to find to nawt eet?
                          U mite has to look owtside ICHC….

                      • cheshirekittehkat says:

                        Weez haz crumpits heer iyn Pennsybaniah;

                        Butt tehy ar kynda haurd tuu findez!!

    • Annie says:

      I interrupt this board for the following message: It’s not too late to take part in my study of lolspeak for grad school. Email lhammock3@student.gsu.edu
      I now return you to your regular lols.

      Last time with the school spam, I promise. (I have 25 participants but would ideally get around 40).

      Annie

    • maggie drake says:

      naw…iz catkins dyet

    • homescribe says:

      wish mai dyet wurked as gud as dis wun.

  2. leeza-b says:

    kibbul and water… we hadz this in Alcatraz too.

  3. Maus says:

    Look out kitteh! Sumpfin about to bite yer tayle!

    • Maus says:

      Mebbe its Ebil Maus!

      • leeza-b says:

        So Ebil Maus iz a littul purpul tayle biter… ?

        • mary O'Spockn says:

          …so dat’s wot ebil maus luks like. i thoted he mite be ornj.

          • Ebil Maus says:

            Hola chica! Can MaisNon come out to play? I think we could get along famously!

            • MaisNon says:

              *skeptical look*

              Well, since you ask nicely.

              Maybe I will deign to observe the shenanigans.
              BTW ,How did you get out of that silly sweetpea’s grip?

              • Ebil Maus says:

                I was not physically there. Ain’t “holodeck” technology wonderful? :cool:

                • mary O'Spockn says:

                  *goes to consult B’lana Torrez about holodeck adjustmentating*

                • MaisNon says:

                  Holodeck. hmmm. That has something to do with Star Drek, correct?

                  • martoonie says:

                    “There’s Klingons awn teh starbord bow, starbord bow, starbord bow
                    Tehr’s Klingons awn teh starbord bow,
                    Shake ‘em awf, Jim!!!!1!!”

                    sowwy but we has nawt had dat wun for a while an ai cud nawt rsist.

                  • Ebil Maus says:

                    Yeah. Star Dreck, Star Blech, whatever. Some crappy juvenile TV show, I think…

                    • mary O'Spockn says:

                      o, yu aer ebil. next fing yule be sayin is teh Enterprize izza garbj skow.
                      *reeches ober and givs the Vulkin Sholdr pinch*
                      Ebil Maus is klonked out.

                      • Maus says:

                        * The projection of Ebil Maus disappears*
                        I think you forgot about my use of projections… You’ll have to do better than that

                        • Maus says:

                          Oops! DID episode…

                        • leeza-b says:

                          Mais Wii I has bin lukkin for u. We needs ur Vulkan logiks!
                          I has givvin this sum thort, and I FINK maybee Maus got hit wif a partikle emitter, and teh Ebil Maus split orf frum Maus 1. His singularity has been splitted in2 a dewallity. Fink we need to get them in the same plais and put em bak togetther? Maybe wif Gorillol Gloo and duck taype?

                        • mary O'Spockn says:

                          heeheehee: – we haz twapped you
                          .
                          *in aksent o InigoMontoya*
                          wot yu donot no is that B’lanna put a trace on ebil mauseses holoprojekshun adn nao we noes where da ebil maus exkapeses to.
                          *stepz in tranzporter using ko ordi nits fur teh ebil
                          maus’s lokashun*

                          *stepz out wif sweepea’s grip, grabz teh real ebil maus*

                        • sweetpea says:

                          wachout! you almoast fergotted teh moast imprortant prat.

                          *green tendrils which look delicate but are stronger Than kudzu -and that’s saying a lot- snap the latch shut and encase the ebil maus in teh grip of embroider’d sweetpeas*

                        • MaisNon says:

                          *looks askance at grip*
                          People keep telling me I need a grip. Is this what they mean?
                          *sweetpea hands over bag*

                        • sweetpea says:

                          Well, i think when they say “get a grip”
                          they may mean something different, but here…
                          *passes over grip wif ebil maus inside*
                          You could use a pet; dere’s a mausee inside, but wachout, he’s ebil..

                        • Maus says:

                          Let me owt! Yoo has teh wrong man… er… maus!

                        • eeckthecat says:

                          Ai finks we need to send Ebil Maus to teh Star Trek X-perience at Lost Wages.
                          We will force him to drink an entire large Borg Sphere at Quarks…he will be owt uv commission fer weeks !!

                        • mary O'Spockn says:

                          ohai, leeza bee keeping dat gorrilol gloo adn dutc taep on hand. We will spearmint wif it to see if it werks sumtime win the maus &
                          teh ebil maus is toogedder.

                          *leeza b takes mary 0 litter alley adn gloos handses togedder*

                          *mary 0 raises wun spok like eyebrow*
                          .
                          fasten ating

                        • sweetpea says:

                          GOaTHERD! i luvs it!!! i can has abatar?!

                        • leeza-b says:

                          *typin wif noez*
                          I can has solvent?

                        • goatherd says:

                          eye wheel luk an see if original is liddel pikshur, wud be cyooot abatar

                        • sweetpea says:

                          naw, yu duznt needz teh big bad kemmykals.

                          *green tendrils gently separate leeza-b’s pawz.*

                        • sweetpea says:

                          *spritzes leeza b’s compewter keyboard wif environ mentalee frennlee gurm killer where she wuz typin wif her noes*

                        • goatherd says:

                          ai sended yew teh jpeg for the small tendril tew make abatar……….tew yr emeow……. let me noes iffn ai kin helps….. us lonely goatherds has lotsa time on ower hands

                        • sweetpea says:

                          โ™ซfankuladee fankuladee fankuladeeeee hooooooo!โ™ซ

                        • leeza-b says:

                          fanks sweetpea!
                          **hastilee wipes up teh keybored**
                          **hits ctrl/alt/del**
                          *** — ***

                        • sweetpea says:

                          oh noes!

                          we lost leeza b…
                          wot to do, wot to do…
                          *wringz pawz*

                          i noe, call in sumbodee wif GHwPOI!

                          mebbee we can appeels to the bedder in stinks o’ maus…

                        • leeza-b says:

                          *faintlee, frum behind teh screen*
                          iz his in stinks bedder than thos uv Ebil Maus?
                          EM in stinks is nawt so grate ackshully.
                          *holds noes in cyberspais just in case*

                        • sweetpea says:

                          phtt *phtt *phtt*

                          *spritzez leeza b wif damask rose scentz o humor.*

                          dat shud hep

                        • Maus says:

                          *Puts on Geek Hat (with Propeller)*
                          Lessee… Format C:?… Nah…
                          FDisk?… Nah…
                          rm * -r?… Nah…
                          Oh! I noes!
                          Recover c:\ichc\leeza-b [enter]
                          Taht shud doos it…

                        • sweetpea says:

                          HAH!

                          its a trap!

                          *grabs the maus, puts dat maus in wif t’otter maus in the grip

                        • mary O'Spockn says:

                          QUIK LEEZA B! we haz two mauses in the sweetpea’s grip!
                          nowz teh time fr teh spearmint!!!!

                        • mary O'Spockn says:

                          *leeza b pops out from hiding plaice*

                        • MaisNon says:

                          Why, pray tell, is this Leeza B person hiding fish? And what are you doing with that bag. I see I am losing my grip. Again.

                        • leeza-b says:

                          *Sprays Maus and Ebil Maus wif Floofy Spray,
                          Gorillol Gloo and raps them togetthur wif duck taype*
                          **unfortoonately gloos herself to tehm in the process**

                          Erm.. oops! wut now MaryO?

                        • Petunia says:

                          *Comes in galloping, eyes blazing red*
                          *Grabs the bag with her mouth*
                          Ha… Ha… Nice… Try… You… Cannot… Stop… Me… So… Easily…
                          Gallops away, and disappears*

                        • leeza-b says:

                          hay! I’m nawt dressed for riding!!

                        • eeckthecat says:

                          …but u iz carryin yer crop,izzint u ?? 8)

                        • leeza-b says:

                          *hides crop behind bak*
                          Um, I don’t know WUT u cud be refurrin to?

                        • MaisNon says:

                          hrmph. This area is not zoned for horses.
                          *watches as Petunia carries off sweetpea’s grip, the two mauses glooed togetter, and leeza b fasten ated *

                          *shrugs, oblivious to leeza b’s yowling*

                          Well, I guess I will have to get a grip some other way.

                        • leeza-b says:

                          *calls faintlee*
                          Ackshully Ebil Maus is doing the yowling…
                          he’s allergic to teh gloooooooo……

                        • Ebil Maus says:

                          *Pulls out the Ebil Zippo*
                          *Lights it*
                          *The superglue melts*
                          *Leeza falls to the ground*
                          See ya! BWAHAhahahahahahaha……

                        • mary O'Spockn says:

                          I see our fasten aiding spearmint needs more Data.
                          Next time we must make shure da ebil maus’s paws are sea cured.

                        • Cmdr Data says:

                          What kind of assistance do you require?

                        • leeza-b says:

                          Maybee sum borg teknologiez?
                          We cud has them assimilaybe eech otter?

                        • mary O'Spockn says:

                          uh, ohes, Data has some interesting histry wif teh b0rg Kween….
                          dis shud be intreeging…

                        • leeza-b says:

                          ya, I heered that the borg merging wif teh positrons reely creeated sum firewerksshort cirkits…
                          Ob corse it seemd more liek the kween was chasin Data.
                          That Data… alwais playin hard 2 get!

                        • Cmdr Data says:

                          “Hard to Get”? Is that a game or other form of entertainment?

                        • leeza-b says:

                          Well in sum cases… yes!
                          Sowry, I forgotted u deactivated ur emotion chip.
                          Compare it to the earth game of ‘keep-away’.

        • Ebil Maus says:

          I am NOT little or purple…

      • Elka says:

        Datsit!!! Ah nebber believeded in basement cat. It woz alwaiz EBIL MAUS disgaisded as Basement CAT. Poor blak kittehz al akyooseded of bat tinks.
        Day haz INNOSENTZ

        • leeza-b says:

          Elka!! U is RITE!!!
          Purrseptivism… u has it!

          • Elka says:

            Elka puts two paws aganst fluffy blussin cheekz. Y fank yoo Leeza-b, i haz a happee, yoo olso c lodyic in mah thohtz.

            • leeza-b says:

              yas! I has been teh hoomin of a blak kitteh fur teh last 12 yeers.
              I alwais thot the blak kittehs were gettin teh bad rap!

              Basemint Cat… can disguiz hisself in enny colur, I finkso!

        • PwnedBy2Kittehs says:

          Anom, Elka! Teh blak kittehs ar teh bestest, an nawt at awl ebil!
          .
          Mai Nawt-So-Liddel Blak Kitteh iz kwite lubbing an sweet…but bery protektib ov mii! (he’s pwned me fer awl ov his 7 yeers). Wehn mai BF & I starteded seeing eechodder, N-s-L Blak Kitteh did nawt liek teh fakt taht I smelled liek teh BF. So Kitteh tried to re-mark mee, an wehn dad dinna werk, he tried to mark teh BF!! Wuz teh funnee, to watch teh two bois fite ober me. :)

      • 2x2x2 says:

        vry sry 2 intagect, hoebber tayul snipper lokks mor lyk eekdacat 2 mi iiiii

  4. two_kittehs says:

    Biggest loser: kitteh vershun

  5. 2x2x2 says:

    qwest 4 szize 0 yur doin et write
    mai annawreckseah let mi showz u

  6. Lovecat says:

    catkins dyet – it wurks!

    • gremlin says:

      Ackshuly, I red an artickle in teh paypur recently sayin that sum vets is nao rekummendin sumthin like teh Atkins diet fur kats – an they called it Catkins in teh artickle! Higher in proteens, lower in karbs, etc.
      A higher-proteen dyet is whut mah vet rekummended fur mah kitteh hoo wuz dyabetik yeerz ago, an it halped a lot. (Yooshully kosts a liddel moar, tho.)

      Enuff fakts, we nao return yoo to teh humor uv lol-speek-ville!

  7. rhsb says:

    **slowlee an sligtlee pokes hed out frum unner teh bed**

    Whai iz all teh gud tastin fudz nawt gud 4 u? Poor kittehs wud prolly rathur has gushi fudz insted ov teh crunchees.

    **hides back unner teh bed, in teh middlol ov teh dust bunneez**

  8. littlemiette says:

    Teh diet. . .
    week 1, week 2, weak 3?

  9. martoonie says:

    Taeks only three weeks to get awl slinky liek dat? Is a gooood diet. Ai can has?

    • annipuss says:

      Ai keeps tryin 2 looz wate, but it keeps findin mee.

      • martoonie says:

        Ai noes dat feelin. Ai fink it has teh sattylite navvygayshun.

      • tidmum says:

        An me.Den it brings awl its frens too!!!!

      • kitsunerina says:

        ai keepz lozin it… mebbe it has to do wif teh fackt taht ai eetz nastee granola bars fore lunch (or uther unappetizin fud) and woks a mile or to every day. Iffn teh fud is mazzooee (nawt tastee) but nootrishus and yu excersise every day- yu lose lawts uv inches (nawt so mennee pownds, but lawts uv inches rownd teh middul). iz haow ai losted 40 pownds in five halfmunths.

        • martoonie says:

          but if ai had to eets teh granola bars ebery day ai wud lose mai will to live so ai wud be thin but ded. Ai nawt shoor is worf it.
          Gud for u tho kitsunerina – ur willpowr, u shows us it!

        • tessm says:

          Ohhh, gud fur u!! iz bery hard 2 doo.
          we noms teh nature valley krunchy granola barz. tehy are pretty gud. nawt teh gushifud but nawt sew bad, akshully.

  10. Jodi says:

    reezultz not tipikuhl

    • martoonie says:

      ain’t DAT teh troof

      • Ambercat says:

        Martoonie, is yu “wwerkin form Hoem” or has yu borked the werl fyrwarl? Yu (an me!) R nawt yushully alloud owt to plai at tihs tym!

        • martoonie says:

          Ai is “werkin from hoem”. See, ai is werkin rly hard! Ai wuz in Thpain but flew back dis arternoon an wuz nawt werf goin into teh orrifiss.

          Wut is ur eckskews?

          • Ambercat says:

            Ai started werk at seben turty tihs mornin! Ai sai “werk” – Ai wented awn a picnic, awn mai byk! Ai lub mai jawb! Myndyu, Ai did has to taek 80 kids an anodder 10 groed-ups wiv me!

  11. meowmewo says:

    wow. that cat got skinny reallly fast.

    i wish my 6000 pound mom could lose wieght

  12. cheshirekittehkat says:

    Bye teh forth weak, kitteh hadded intyrelee dysappeareded;

    Teh Tee Bee taulkshowes hostes, adn teh neuwspapure peeps caime roun adn wunted tuu knoe teh sekrit ov tihs soe sukcessfool diet;

    Butt kitteh cud nawt sez, becuz teh diet had wurked tuu wel!!!!!!

  13. Denise Wade says:

    iz not “atkins” diet…iz “katkinz” diet….get rite, pleez!!!

  14. Looks like week two added some gray hairs.

  15. Dianne Read says:

    Catkins Diet?



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