Teh diet…

Teh diet… week 1…week 2…week 3
picture: Austin Bunger. lol caption: (?)
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Teh diet… week 1…week 2…week 3
picture: Austin Bunger. lol caption: (?)
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

Its wurkin
congrats on top spot in teh brayd Annipuss, shud we throw owrselfs a party? I’m finking all u can eet. Lukkin at those kittehs is giving me a hongry.
Ai jus had mai lunsh, but as ushuel Ai’z still hongree! Iffn Ai wuz alloud, Ai’d nom awl dai.
it’s brekfust tiem heer… I is having a Ingerlish muffin.
Ai libs in TTI an Ai’ve nebber had an Ingerlish muffin!
It’s 3.30 pm heer, cold, windee and luks as iffn it wil rane soon. Pleh!
I thot u mite be in TTI, from the lunch ref.
so, tipikul wether fur TTI, rite?
Ingerlish muffins is prolly like the fronsch fries.. sumthin we maded up over heer, maybe?
Tehre iz 2 kindz uv muffin ai finkso. Wun iz liek a thikk bredd roll dat getz split an tostid and wiv lotsa budder onit, teh udder is bit liek cup caek wiv blooberris or sunm uvver froots in. Ai fink teh bred wuns iz teh Ingerlish wun,but Ai dunno wot u haz.
Uz is rite
the bred wun wuz wot I DID has, but now it is eeted.
Duz u haz crumpets? Sum peepl in TTI callz dem muffins. Dey is a yeest batter cookt on a flat griddle in ring moldz bowt 3inshes across an 1/2 insh fick. Az it cooks, teh batter gets lotsa wholez init. Dey is toted 2, teh budder drips owt awl doun yur chin!
Mmmmm crumpets. Dey is basikly just a yoosful cormtayner for teh meltid butter. Nomnomslrrrrp.
no…I haz never had a crumpet, but sownds nommy!!
I’z pritty sure that wut we in teh US call Ingerlish muffns is wut our Ingerlish cuzzins calls a crumpet (not to be confuzzled wif a strumpet).
Nononononono – teh crumpit an teh Inglish muffin is teh diffrent fings. Teh Inglish muffin is kinda bready an u cut in 2 an toste. But teckscher is yooniform. Teh crumpit is maded wiv teh bakin soda an has teh bubblols awn teh surfiss – an u does nawt cut in harf, just toste, an teh butter melts into awl teh holes. Teh teckschr is moar like a sorta batter tahn bred.
Mai eggstensiv nollidge of teh bakery items, let me show u it!
dis awl sownd nommy!!!
(I can has a blah bagel fer brekfest, but wuz free, so nawt so bad)
free fud is always gud!
hrrmph. speekin as a sine-tist, ai wud say that this debate about the muffins, enerlish muffins, crumpets, meltymelty butter (and jam, and marmylade, and, in TTI, teh clotted creem), and so on … needs sum experymental data. Preferably lawts of experymental data. Toasted data, served warm wif all the trimmings. And a pot of tea, or teh fresh-brood cawfee. And teh awrange jooce. …. nomnomnom.
*wanders off to carry out scientific research*
Dat much reesurch cayunt b kerreed owt bai ownlee wun peep. U neadz sum hep…
I vawluntearz…
**wandurz awf n gitz sum uv da spearmintal data 2 nom…I meen 2 test…**
OO OO OOOO! Prof. d’Beeker, sir!!
*waves 2 frnt paws wildly in air*
I can has participashuns in spearmints wif the muffins, enerlish,muffns, crmptz, meltymelty butter, an teh clotted cweem?!
*luks glum*
hmmmm. too laet fr elevenses. wae too laet fr second brkfest
*brightens*
itz gotta be tea time sumwheres in middul erf!!
*
itz a tuff job, but sumwun gotz to do it.
kan i help??
hrrmph… perhpas ai may be alloweded to quote from the venerable r.a. fisher, who rote in hims classic book “Eggs Spearmintal Dee Sine” the following memrable wurds:
“By increasing the size of the experiment, we can render it more sensitive, meaning by this that it will allow of the detection of a lower degree of sensory discrimination … The same result could be achieved by repeating the experiment, as originally designed, upon a number of different occasions …”
Wut duz this meen? It seems cleer to me. It b meaning that the more we noms, and more often we nomis it, wif the more kittehs nomming, the better the data will be. We can has better data? Is the sinetificllly noble thing to do. So, pleeze pass teh butter and marmylade …
I can halps too??
**takes teh crumpet and asks lunarmommy to pass teh hunny**
But wut abowt a control groop professur?
Hoo r u going to find to nawt eet?
U mite has to look owtside ICHC….
Weez haz crumpits heer iyn Pennsybaniah;
Butt tehy ar kynda haurd tuu findez!!
I interrupt this board for the following message: It’s not too late to take part in my study of lolspeak for grad school. Email lhammock3@student.gsu.edu
I now return you to your regular lols.
Last time with the school spam, I promise. (I have 25 participants but would ideally get around 40).
Annie
shoods wee fillitowt moor dan wunz if wee haz teh multiplol pursonalitees?
Ohai Annie! R U inna Jorja 2? I jess sintchoo un eemayl sew I kin b part uv ur studee… Id lurvz 2 hep U wif ur edyoomukayshunal prawsess
naw…iz catkins dyet
wish mai dyet wurked as gud as dis wun.
kibbul and water… we hadz this in Alcatraz too.
I thot we wuz excapin to the land uv milk and gushifuds!!
sorree, but teh land uv milk and gushifuds wuz klosed doo to hi okkurenses uv diabeeetus and bad commershuls.
mai Schatzie and Leo say to gushifoods, DO NOT WANT.
Look out kitteh! Sumpfin about to bite yer tayle!
Mebbe its Ebil Maus!
So Ebil Maus iz a littul purpul tayle biter… ?
…so dat’s wot ebil maus luks like. i thoted he mite be ornj.
Hola chica! Can MaisNon come out to play? I think we could get along famously!
*skeptical look*
Well, since you ask nicely.
Maybe I will deign to observe the shenanigans.
BTW ,How did you get out of that silly sweetpea’s grip?
I was not physically there. Ain’t “holodeck” technology wonderful?
*goes to consult B’lana Torrez about holodeck adjustmentating*
Holodeck. hmmm. That has something to do with Star Drek, correct?
“There’s Klingons awn teh starbord bow, starbord bow, starbord bow
Tehr’s Klingons awn teh starbord bow,
Shake ‘em awf, Jim!!!!1!!”
sowwy but we has nawt had dat wun for a while an ai cud nawt rsist.
Yeah. Star Dreck, Star Blech, whatever. Some crappy juvenile TV show, I think…
o, yu aer ebil. next fing yule be sayin is teh Enterprize izza garbj skow.
*reeches ober and givs the Vulkin Sholdr pinch*
Ebil Maus is klonked out.
* The projection of Ebil Maus disappears*
I think you forgot about my use of projections… You’ll have to do better than that…
Oops! DID episode…
Mais Wii I has bin lukkin for u. We needs ur Vulkan logiks!
I has givvin this sum thort, and I FINK maybee Maus got hit wif a partikle emitter, and teh Ebil Maus split orf frum Maus 1. His singularity has been splitted in2 a dewallity. Fink we need to get them in the same plais and put em bak togetther? Maybe wif Gorillol Gloo and duck taype?
heeheehee: – we haz twapped you
.
*in aksent o InigoMontoya*
wot yu donot no is that B’lanna put a trace on ebil mauseses holoprojekshun adn nao we noes where da ebil maus exkapeses to.
*stepz in tranzporter using ko ordi nits fur teh ebil
maus’s lokashun*
*stepz out wif sweepea’s grip, grabz teh real ebil maus*
wachout! you almoast fergotted teh moast imprortant prat.
*green tendrils which look delicate but are stronger Than kudzu -and that’s saying a lot- snap the latch shut and encase the ebil maus in teh grip of embroider’d sweetpeas*
*looks askance at grip*
People keep telling me I need a grip. Is this what they mean?
*sweetpea hands over bag*
Well, i think when they say “get a grip”
they may mean something different, but here…
*passes over grip wif ebil maus inside*
You could use a pet; dere’s a mausee inside, but wachout, he’s ebil..
Let me owt! Yoo has teh wrong man… er… maus!
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1369609
Ai finks we need to send Ebil Maus to teh Star Trek X-perience at Lost Wages.
We will force him to drink an entire large Borg Sphere at Quarks…he will be owt uv commission fer weeks !!
ohai, leeza bee keeping dat gorrilol gloo adn dutc taep on hand. We will spearmint wif it to see if it werks sumtime win the maus &
teh ebil maus is toogedder.
*leeza b takes mary 0 litter alley adn gloos handses togedder*
*mary 0 raises wun spok like eyebrow*
.
fasten ating
GOaTHERD! i luvs it!!! i can has abatar?!
*typin wif noez*
I can has solvent?
eye wheel luk an see if original is liddel pikshur, wud be cyooot abatar
naw, yu duznt needz teh big bad kemmykals.
*green tendrils gently separate leeza-b’s pawz.*
*spritzes leeza b’s compewter keyboard wif environ mentalee frennlee gurm killer where she wuz typin wif her noes*
ai sended yew teh jpeg for the small tendril tew make abatar……….tew yr emeow……. let me noes iffn ai kin helps….. us lonely goatherds has lotsa time on ower hands
โซfankuladee fankuladee fankuladeeeee hooooooo!โซ
fanks sweetpea!
**hastilee wipes up teh keybored**
**hits ctrl/alt/del**
*** — ***
oh noes!
we lost leeza b…
wot to do, wot to do…
*wringz pawz*
i noe, call in sumbodee wif GHwPOI!
mebbee we can appeels to the bedder in stinks o’ maus…
*faintlee, frum behind teh screen*
iz his in stinks bedder than thos uv Ebil Maus?
EM in stinks is nawt so grate ackshully.
*holds noes in cyberspais just in case*
phtt *phtt *phtt*
*spritzez leeza b wif damask rose scentz o humor.*
dat shud hep
*Puts on Geek Hat (with Propeller)*
Lessee… Format C:?… Nah…
FDisk?… Nah…
rm * -r?… Nah…
Oh! I noes!
Recover c:\ichc\leeza-b [enter]
Taht shud doos it…
HAH!
its a trap!
*grabs the maus, puts dat maus in wif t’otter maus in the grip
QUIK LEEZA B! we haz two mauses in the sweetpea’s grip!
nowz teh time fr teh spearmint!!!!
*leeza b pops out from hiding plaice*
Why, pray tell, is this Leeza B person hiding fish? And what are you doing with that bag. I see I am losing my grip. Again.
*Sprays Maus and Ebil Maus wif Floofy Spray,
Gorillol Gloo and raps them togetthur wif duck taype*
**unfortoonately gloos herself to tehm in the process**
Erm.. oops! wut now MaryO?
*Comes in galloping, eyes blazing red*
*Grabs the bag with her mouth*
Ha… Ha… Nice… Try… You… Cannot… Stop… Me… So… Easily…
Gallops away, and disappears*
hay! I’m nawt dressed for riding!!
…but u iz carryin yer crop,izzint u ??
*hides crop behind bak*
Um, I don’t know WUT u cud be refurrin to?
hrmph. This area is not zoned for horses.
*watches as Petunia carries off sweetpea’s grip, the two mauses glooed togetter, and leeza b fasten ated *
*shrugs, oblivious to leeza b’s yowling*
Well, I guess I will have to get a grip some other way.
*calls faintlee*
Ackshully Ebil Maus is doing the yowling…
he’s allergic to teh gloooooooo……
*Pulls out the Ebil Zippo*
*Lights it*
*The superglue melts*
*Leeza falls to the ground*
See ya! BWAHAhahahahahahaha……
I see our fasten aiding spearmint needs more Data.
Next time we must make shure da ebil maus’s paws are sea cured.
What kind of assistance do you require?
Maybee sum borg teknologiez?
We cud has them assimilaybe eech otter?
uh, ohes, Data has some interesting histry wif teh b0rg Kween….
dis shud be intreeging…
ya, I heered that the borg merging wif teh positrons reely creeated sum
firewerksshort cirkits…Ob corse it seemd more liek the kween was chasin Data.
That Data… alwais playin hard 2 get!
“Hard to Get”? Is that a game or other form of entertainment?
Well in sum cases… yes!
Sowry, I forgotted u deactivated ur emotion chip.
Compare it to the earth game of ‘keep-away’.
I am NOT little or purple…
oh and here Ai thot it was liddle prupul vowel movement!
Ai’m liddul & purpol !!!!
Duz u byte taylez?
***snerk***
Kinkee !!!!
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/funny-pictures-baby-eats-black-cat-tail.jpg
http://www.icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/funny-pictures-baby-eats-black-cat-tail.jpg
Annipuss!! Wut did yoo… u didn’t warn… littul blak kitteh….
**SPLORT**
Oh deer, Drags CCC ober,
Sweeps up branez scoops dem up an puts dem bak in Leeza-b’s hed. Fickses on 50’s bavin hat an sicoors it wiv ducky taep. Adds CHRG (wdoi) to be ekstra saef. Handz leeza sum hot choklit an a floofy blankit an taeks her 2 teh splort recubbery lownj to recubber.
fanks Annipuss… I just wuzzn’t prepared for awl dat KYOOTNESS!
and teh hoomin babbeh wuz kinda kyoot too…..
*sips hawt choklit and tries not to think uv babbeh blak kitteh*
Kitteh wuz sayin”hey…why u be bitin mai tayle….mai pointy ends be rite next to yer leg,kiddo…”
lernin eggsperience – u is abowt to has wun
Wai iz it dat sumtiemz fings dun post at awl, an uvvertiemz dey port twys eben iffn you only sendz wunse? Ai’m shore Ai only postid teh linkie 1 tiem.
C!!1! i knu taht wez u but cinc iz noobee noes 1 heered mi
Datsit!!! Ah nebber believeded in basement cat. It woz alwaiz EBIL MAUS disgaisded as Basement CAT. Poor blak kittehz al akyooseded of bat tinks.
Day haz INNOSENTZ
Elka!! U is RITE!!!
Purrseptivism… u has it!
Elka puts two paws aganst fluffy blussin cheekz. Y fank yoo Leeza-b, i haz a happee, yoo olso c lodyic in mah thohtz.
yas! I has been teh hoomin of a blak kitteh fur teh last 12 yeers.
I alwais thot the blak kittehs were gettin teh bad rap!
Basemint Cat… can disguiz hisself in enny colur, I finkso!
Anom, Elka! Teh blak kittehs ar teh bestest, an nawt at awl ebil!
.
Mai Nawt-So-Liddel Blak Kitteh iz kwite lubbing an sweet…but bery protektib ov mii! (he’s pwned me fer awl ov his 7 yeers). Wehn mai BF & I starteded seeing eechodder, N-s-L Blak Kitteh did nawt liek teh fakt taht I smelled liek teh BF. So Kitteh tried to re-mark mee, an wehn dad dinna werk, he tried to mark teh BF!! Wuz teh funnee, to watch teh two bois fite ober me.
vry sry 2 intagect, hoebber tayul snipper lokks mor lyk eekdacat 2 mi iiiii
Biggest loser: kitteh vershun
qwest 4 szize 0 yur doin et write
mai annawreckseah let mi showz u
catkins dyet – it wurks!
Ackshuly, I red an artickle in teh paypur recently sayin that sum vets is nao rekummendin sumthin like teh Atkins diet fur kats – an they called it Catkins in teh artickle! Higher in proteens, lower in karbs, etc.
A higher-proteen dyet is whut mah vet rekummended fur mah kitteh hoo wuz dyabetik yeerz ago, an it halped a lot. (Yooshully kosts a liddel moar, tho.)
Enuff fakts, we nao return yoo to teh humor uv lol-speek-ville!
Taht’s hao mai Josie losted awl hur wate – low carbs, hi fibur, low caloree.
**slowlee an sligtlee pokes hed out frum unner teh bed**
Whai iz all teh gud tastin fudz nawt gud 4 u? Poor kittehs wud prolly rathur has gushi fudz insted ov teh crunchees.
**hides back unner teh bed, in teh middlol ov teh dust bunneez**
Ohai rhsb
Why yoo hidin unner teh bed?
Ai’m jes tyred ov all teh stuff goin awn, so ai desydid 2 hied unner teh bed until iz ober.
(Ai maed mai ‘nownsemint under “Care O Meter”. U can sees it at teh bottum.)
{{{{{{rhsb}}}}}}
Heer, I maded yoo sum cookkees an i did nawt eetid dem. Der be sum karrots fer teh dust bunnies too.
.
I noes fings is hard fer yoo rite nao,but yoo will cum froo dis PLEH! tyme in yor lyfe. i finkso yoo a berree strong an brave purrson.
We ar awl heer faw yoo otay?
Sendin yoo sum happy sunbeems frum TTI- dems speshull too..Teh sun nawt playin so I reeched up an grabbed dem for yoo.
So dat’s wehr teh sunshine went. Nawt to worry, ai is happy for rhsb to has dem if she is havin a pleh time. {{{{rhsb}}}}
Fanks 4 teh sun, frenz.
It iz veree lubly dai heer. Nawt 2 hot, nawt 2 cold. Nawt rainin.
Is awl windyficated an clowdee an prollygointorain heer. U no, summer.
*peeks under bed*
*pokes paw under bed to tease rhsb*
*jumps back when attacked by dust bunny, runs around wildly to escape*
*comes back*
*rolls over and waggulz both front paws under bed to tease rhsb*
I suspekt it is feer frum almost bein debreefed teh uther day!
Is debreef-ophobia, purrhabz? Poor kitteh, yoo can kum owt nao! Nobuddy will hurt yoo. . .
*luks arownd to see if Maus is standing by with evil intent*
You rang?
**luks at Ebil Maus frum unner teh bed, eies big, eers flat and beginnin 2 growl**
*hands rhsb waterpruff Zippo*
U needs to mayke him laff….gets rid uv him fer a liddul whyle,at leest….
fite ebil wif nyce! is OK rhsb–you hadz hard dai yest and we dont wan you to stai unner bed. We will perteckt you frum EM an then get you sums gud thar…tera…talkin stuff out wif nyce persun. there there rhsb…is OK.
Ai kno! Ai’ll sic teh dust bunnees on him!
โซโซ
Make ‘em laugh
Make ‘em laugh
Don’t you know everyone wants to laugh?
โซโซ
Ai dunno hao!
Hmmm. Lets try an eezy wun.
I say “Hey rhsb! I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith”.
And then you say…
“Wut did dey cawl his other leg?”
Boom Boom
*helpin rhsb*
wut’s himz real leg’s name
eeeeeeeeeeck
Whaaaaattt ?????
ai fink we cud be shairin a brayne todai
so wutza punch lyon, Maus?
Eeck gived teh cerrect respawnse…
well, teknikkly speakin, mine was sayme jus diffrent.
Teh diet. . .
week 1, week 2, weak 3?
Taeks only three weeks to get awl slinky liek dat? Is a gooood diet. Ai can has?
Ai keeps tryin 2 looz wate, but it keeps findin mee.
Ai noes dat feelin. Ai fink it has teh sattylite navvygayshun.
an then it cant find its way bak frum where it came frum…
An me.Den it brings awl its frens too!!!!
ai keepz lozin it… mebbe it has to do wif teh fackt taht ai eetz nastee granola bars fore lunch (or uther unappetizin fud) and woks a mile or to every day. Iffn teh fud is mazzooee (nawt tastee) but nootrishus and yu excersise every day- yu lose lawts uv inches (nawt so mennee pownds, but lawts uv inches rownd teh middul). iz haow ai losted 40 pownds in five halfmunths.
but if ai had to eets teh granola bars ebery day ai wud lose mai will to live so ai wud be thin but ded. Ai nawt shoor is worf it.
Gud for u tho kitsunerina – ur willpowr, u shows us it!
Ohhh, gud fur u!! iz bery hard 2 doo.
we noms teh nature valley krunchy granola barz. tehy are pretty gud. nawt teh gushifud but nawt sew bad, akshully.
reezultz not tipikuhl
ain’t DAT teh troof
Martoonie, is yu “wwerkin form Hoem” or has yu borked the werl fyrwarl? Yu (an me!) R nawt yushully alloud owt to plai at tihs tym!
Ai is “werkin from hoem”. See, ai is werkin rly hard! Ai wuz in Thpain but flew back dis arternoon an wuz nawt werf goin into teh orrifiss.
Wut is ur eckskews?
Ai started werk at seben turty tihs mornin! Ai sai “werk” – Ai wented awn a picnic, awn mai byk! Ai lub mai jawb! Myndyu, Ai did has to taek 80 kids an anodder 10 groed-ups wiv me!
Hmm, wuz sowndin rly gud til u got to teh “80 kids” bit!
Tehy were verree gud – tehy thort it a BEEEEG adbenchur to ryd teihr byks to teh local Cuntry Park an plai gaems and has a picnic an sycul bak to skool – teihr shelterd liyvs, let me sho yu tehm!
Do Not Want!
wow. that cat got skinny reallly fast.
i wish my 6000 pound mom could lose wieght
Bye teh forth weak, kitteh hadded intyrelee dysappeareded;
Teh Tee Bee taulkshowes hostes, adn teh neuwspapure peeps caime roun adn wunted tuu knoe teh sekrit ov tihs soe sukcessfool diet;
Butt kitteh cud nawt sez, becuz teh diet had wurked tuu wel!!!!!!
iz not “atkins” diet…iz “katkinz” diet….get rite, pleez!!!
Looks like week two added some gray hairs.
Catkins Diet?