Care-o-meter
Care-o-meter Low -I——— High
dis kitteh mite care a little moar.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Alex
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Mai disdane. Let me show u it…
Iz dat lyke a Grate Dane? Congrats on yur preeminent comment posishun, Maus!
Dis Dane, dat Dane, it duznt matter…
2 b ur nawt 2 b, dat is teh qwestion, as sum Dane wunce mused… (or maused)
Der’s a big difrunce bitwiin a Danish Viking and a Danish Pastry.
rilllee?
both ar krustee awn teh owtside, gooshee awn teh insyde, frootee/cheezy awn teh inside (way down deep ware nobuddee kin see), an taste bettr wif lawts uv shuger.
Haz u tride eetin bofe, den?
Ime NAWT tellin….
Yes… the force is bak in balance now… Maus is on tawp!
Wud u like sum lunch, or just a drink?
Maybee sum pi?
Lunch wus bees niec. Whatya makin?
how abowt sum BLT’s wif reel ripe toma toes, nawt the pleh wuns frum teh gorceree store, and a pickul on teh sied?
BLTs wiff white tost an mayo? yum-yum
*nomnomnomnomnomnom*
hole weet wud bees bettur 4 yoo… but u can has wite tost if ur reely wants it!
But yoos lite mayo if u duz, k?
k
Sownds nommy! Wut kind ov pikkle? How bout a superjinormaus polish dill? An mebbe sum coleslaw?
an fronch frizes don nice and crisp. and…
Apples in da wall dorf salad
Bananananana kreem pie
Coleslaw that maus is bringing
Debiled eggs
E….
Egg mayonayze sarnies
Filet stake
Grape joose
H..
Ham sammiches
Icey cole lemming ade
Jello…. shooters!
Hummous (or shud taht be Hum maus?)
Iceberg lettis
Jalapenoes
K..
Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm……
onlee jus notist Thx Maus
karrots (to keep helthy)
Lettice
Milk shake of whatebber viri…barie…flavor you want
N…
Nestlees chokklit….
Orange julius……
Peanut butter cookies
Quick(fer chokklit milk)…
R…..
Rolo’s
Sherry Triffel
Tomayter soop
U..
upside-down pyneappul cake
V-8 joos
wellingtun, beest
x-tra choklit choklit pudding
yogurt, frozen
zabag… zuhbul… eyetalian dessert thingy!
umbrella drinkies
vino
watermelluns
x…..
Yash, the polish dill, liek Claussen?
Coleslaw, or, or u can has broccoli slaw.
And maybee a devilish egg. or 4.
sumbody pleez anser. iz lunchtiem in meechigan, and ai needs idears for my noms.
I is cukkin Tadoori Chilling frum skratch,an rice an naan bred. Nom nom nom
dat shud be tandoori chikking!!
hmmm. nao ai dont nose if ai shud go to big boy for BLTs, or to chinese place.
Depends awn iffn yew wants ter tayke a nappy time affer lunchities.
tandoori chikking is Indian!
Tidmum can ai eet at ur howse?
*drool*
Plenny fer ebreewun!!!!..*passes leeza-b aplate ob Tandoori chikking an sum yoggurt sawse……*
Boichik finks a bowl ob rice an campbells meetballs wiv Naan bred awn teh side is ‘Indian’ fud!!!
Mai habbin to cuk elebenty fings at eech meel-let me show yoo the
dirdee dishes!!!
Gotses any kabobs ????
Whuts a kabob? Mai stoopy let me sho yoo it
Cubes uv meat & veggies onna skewer….grilled & served wif rice…yum!
Ohhhh!! KeBABS!!!
I finkso i make dem anudder nite.
Chikking kebabs
Beef kebbabs
pork kebabs
an sweet wuns too. Nom nom nom
Iz meets-onna-stick – sum taims wif vegemmabubblols – ewe mar…mayr…sokes dem wif sumfing full ob teh flayvor nd den ewe grillz dem! NOMNOMNOM!
Amazin teh diffrent ways we spell fings,huh??
fanks Tidmum! MMMMMMM!
I has not tried to cook the Indian fuds at hoam.. but I does make an ok shrimps currie, Charleston style!
yew guys is making me huuuuunnnnngggrrrreeeeeee. and ai alreddy had teh lunch.
Does Uz make naan at homez 2.
I can has receepeh?
I dussent make mah own- i can buy dems at teh soopermarket.
I lubs teh keema naan frum teh taykeaway Nom Nom Nom :grin
that does sound nommy
I can haz tried 2 makes naan frum scratch
but wid not much success
I maded pizza frum scratch this weekend
was delishus
MMMMMMMMMnnnnnnnnn……….Peetza!!
.
Mah Kidlets like to mayke dem sumtymes.
Gud morningz Maus! I just wantinged 2 say hi. I b bizzy getting reddy fer Jammamamamamamkitty’z bisit l8er dis week. Schmoo.
Schmoo to yoo too. Say “hi” to teh bunnee fer me.
I tink himz ben eeting deh flower seedlingz as fast az deh b kumming up! but I still lubbz him. I trow kisses to him frum u. he awlwayz runz away if I getting 2 klose. I will posting himz latest pitcher 2day or 2morrow.
Yay, CMJ!! I luff doze bunneh pics you show…himz sew tinee and cyoot – pleaz to post moar!
Pleh…ai care NAWT !!!!
sumwut like the givvadammer. but wif less feling.
Remindered mii uv deh givvadammer, 2.
.
I finkz himz givva dammer iz borked.
GMTA, Cweenmj!
Mai gibbadammer iz borked.
Ai nebber had a gibberdammer 2 gib enniwai
Nah. Is just dammed up wiv gibs.
Yur problem bores me
Grumpeenuss – yer doin it rite
Ai iz NAWT amuzed.
Sour-puss.
LOL-liiikded ur comment!
While googies play, cheezburgers sulk. Bring o the dancing mauses,plz.
*TippityTappityTippityTappity*
*TippityTappityTippityTappity*
*TippityTappityTippityTappity*
*TippityTappityTippityTappity*
*LungeJazzHands*
*flap step, shuffle hop hop shuffle CRAMP ROLL!*
Brava! Let me cool your feet off…
*Gets out the seltzer bottle*
Don’t make me lite ur pants on fyre!
** pulls owt waterpruf Zippo and brandishez it at teh Ebil Maus*
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkk!
*Ebil Maus sprays himself wif teh seltzer to make hisself un-flammabul*
Leeza LOLS!!!!
Hey! Who’s working the puppet strings here?!
*To Ebil Maus*
You have no power here! Now begone, before somebody drops a house on you!
Hoapfully Ebil Maus will pay attenshun to teh man behind teh curtin.
I saw Ebil Maus bribe teh man buhind teh curtin wiv elebenty martoonies! He is gowing tu maek teh tin man an’ teh scarecrow lien danse.
nawt shur
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9rYRbQ0Ma0
Sumbudde cawl? I diddint do nuffin !!
*Whispers*
You need to pick up your cues faster
**whispers back**
Ai wuz out gettin iyce creem….missed mai cue!
did u brink bak sum for the rest uv us??
Sure…ai gotted sundaes:
Strawberee wif strawberee/cheezcayke iyce creem…
Hawt Fudge wif cawfee i.c. ……
Caramel wif budder peedawn i.c. ….
…ai ment “pecawn”.
Peedawn i scream?
The mind boggles…
There’s a ‘don’t eet teh yello sno’ joke in there sumwhere…
Yeah. Or an “appropriate use of indoor plumbing” joke…
AND.. we has come full circlol to yesterrdai’s lolpic!
Yeah,yeah…yuk it up ‘cuz ai spell one fing wrong….jeesh!
now u reely didn’t think we’d pass that one up did u?
Never leave a straight-line sitting out like that around here…
…whut if ai leev a curve ??
Caerful, Eek – maus is susep..susce.. lieks curves
dat ’splanes teh fyrewimmens
*klapping uv floofy pawz*
Ah, but are dey YOUR floofy pawz!
Tihs kitteh luks lyk mi wen ai nawt seckund woked up inna mornins. Teh hevvee eies, ai has it.
“Ai do nawt see fud in yur hands….wen ai sees u carryin fud,ai might show sum emotion.”
…and on that note,I’m going out to get some ICE CREAM !!!!!
Kitteh’s Care-O-Meter oanley risez tu Hi iyf gushyfuuds adn kitteh treiets ar iynbolbed;
Ovverwyse, Kitteh noarmully sez: “Pleh!!!!!!!!”
or if kitteh sees a burd or squirrul
or googie goin to da vet
I ar bored wid Ur sob storee, now go and get meh some gooshie fud
pronto
whut Ai look lyke, a scy….a psi…a guy who talks abutt yer muzzer and yer dreemz? no free advycy here, pal.
Do ai luk lyke i gib a tooty?
mai kustomer serbice affect….let me showz it to you
Hey,Ai iz in kuztomer serbice….iz dis wut ai luk liek awl day ??
onee if you werks for da fudderall gubbermint
Nopes…werk fer a box companee…
peeple haz unhappiness about der boxex?? wuts dat lyke?
We haz:
printed dem wrong..
too small….
too big….
won’t fold….
etc…etc…..
peeps can be berry partikular abowt dere boxes,beliebe it or nawt!
Mr T.M yoosed twerk fur a box makin firm.
He got sew annorakky abowt it,ebree box dat cayme inna howse wuz inspected an critisized!!!
He desyned a speshul boks fer Rolls Royce parts tho-Him as swell hed fer weeks after!!
annorakky?
is that a TTI-ism?
Ai wuz wunderrin dat,too!
Ai fot saym fing…pls tew splayn
kthxbai
well let’s break the word down…..we have “ann” which has it origins in the colon and rectum and we have “rak” which has to do with a yard tool….hmmm
A**e rake. Hmmmnnnn. Interesting. May I use this definition plz?
Harumph. Mai name IRL is Ann Ai is not a bit uv lower gut.:x
{{{{{{annipuss}}}}}}
We lubs yoo.
Ann iz dery..deeri.. cums frum heebroo name an meenz “Grace”
Hee hee, dey dint noe mee!
Yoo iz berree graceful.
Phlattery wil get u noe ware!
“Anorak” is a term for people like trainspotters or geeks who usually dress in an Anorak and corduroy trousers. They are commonly found carrying a reporters notebook,a packet of soggy sandwiches and a flask of weak lemon squash.
Is lemon squash a drink or some type of summer squash (i.e.
a veggie)
I ar confused
Lemon squash is Lemon cordial/joose drink.
lyke lemonade?
mummy’s speshul lemonayde!
I posred a linky to teh Wikki but w.p. eetid it.
Googlol lemon squash drink an see whut it is.
.
Is a concentrated cordial dat you dilute wiv water.
LOL!!!
Tidmum u better not try to splain anymore, else u will has to splayn the esplayinin of the esplanashun!
As an ekx trane spotter Ai resemble teh remark abowt anoraks!
*wispers* yiss, Ai yoost 2 ware an anorak wen Ai wnet spottin
what is a trayn spotter pray tell
I sawree annipuss…I nebber meened to offend yoo
I gibbed teh explanayshun frum one ob dem off beet comedy shows!!
I can has furgivness plz? * wrings floofy paws ankshussly*
Trane spotters is fyne upstandin peepl hoo stan on rail stations an rite down teh numbers uv tranes, den mark dem in books .
Ai’ll hav 2 fink abowt furgibbin u tidmum
*on knees beggin an pleedin*……
Pweeeeeeese furgib me annipuss. I is berree berree sawreee
an I nebber in teh whirld want to upset yoo.
Pwweeeeeeeeesssssssseeeeeeeee pretty pweeeeessssssseeeee
wiv sprinklols onna top?????………..
Oh orl rite tehn sins itz u!
{{{{{annipuss}}}}}}
Fankyoo.
* Tidmum cums owt ob teh corner*
why does they do that? ar that a hobby or a job?
Iz a hobby – liek sum peepl collekt airplane numberz, or stamps – iz ushully boi-chillun fing, but sum growdups duz it 2. Dey try 2 see iffn dey can get teh number uv orl teh locomotivs crosst off in thehr books.
fanks fur eggsplanashunz annipuss
ICHC ar lyke a culshural exchange programz
with TTI
THIS BOX IS SQUARE! I EXPRESSLY ORDERED SPHERICAL! AND MADE FROM CLOTH, NOT CORRUGATED! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!
win!!1! @@@@@
**tee,hee***
Fank u,Ebil Maus,fer sayin “corrugated”and nawt “cardboard”…
U iz okai in mai book….
Gaaah! Where did I go wrong?!
AHA!!!
We has fownd the Ebil Maus’s week spot!
We must shower him wif prays and complimints!!
**throws mints and prays buks at teh Ebil Maus**
Soree…ai am jus drawn to ebilness !!
NO…!
Turn away frum the dark side, Eeck!
***turns her back to teh light***
Naw,it’s too bright ober heer…..
****walks towards the dark side****
*Open a vortex in Teh Spayce Thyme Continunomnomnom*
Come right in. You will be the first of my many
slavesadmirers…….”must obey Ebil Maus”…..
*playng inna bakgrownd*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9uP8qqgm-c
*Eeck walks through the vortex and DISAPPEARS*
One! BWAhahahahahahhahahahahaaaa……
*CoughHackCough*
***faintly,from teh other side***
“You sownd liek teh Count awn Sesame Street….”
HAhahahahaha…
Oh no! Eeck made me laugh…
Arrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh!
*The vortex opens and Eeck pops out*
*Ebil Maus disappears in a foul-smelling puff of smoke*
Who….wha….
Iz THAT awl it took ???
(ROFLPIMP)
Eeck! U is back! We wuz so wurried!
Wayte… is that reely U???
I fink maybee u shud be debreefed…
Hey…hands awf mai briefs !!
*Peeks around the corner*
Yaaaaaay! Debreefing!
*Runs to get Teh Debreefing Cart*
Here is yer gooshie fud, is it not gooshie enough? Shall i goe and run over it?
Ok i ran over it, is it black enuff? Sowwy if u don’t liek it ill dist go maek some chippies…FOW ME! GET YO OWN DANG GOOSHIE FUD!!
I haet daet!! I no want no more gooshie fud. carrots and milkshaek, not gud combo.
boss kitteh disapproves of your ICHC addikshun
Wat addickshun? Ai can qwit enny tiem ai wanna, ai sware!
*Turns off rhsb’s computer*
*Starts a digital timer*
And… Begin!
NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
minute 1: rhsb becomes diaphoretic
minute 2: ticks and tremors begin
minute 3: wipes sweat off upper lip and looks longingly at computer screen
rhsb also has…
anger-zy-atee
back pain
chest preshur
dis kim bobulated bobbol
eyes, dylated
fears
G…
Gud frenz
Hedake
Injurd fingurs (papur cuts)
Junkee cark
Kant type ether!
stoopee werd priss ayt mai symptoms!
Loose vowels
Mussle spasms
Nail bitings
obulation
paranoya
QRS wave elongation
Overwraught….
Powerlessness….
Quietly trembling…
R…
Restliss Legs
Sad Fayce
Tiks adn tremmers
U…
Undie-twistin….
Very clammy hands….
Worried glances…
X…
urolojick exploshuns (see “i” symptom)
vasovagal syncopee
weight loss or gain
Xtra anxiety
Yernins fur cyootness
Zauberflote as fren
thx chzfrenz–dis is a most eggsalad list ob symptoms….you guys mayk me laff mai annorak off!
(can you tell Ai haz no patients scheduled?)
wassa ‘Junkee Cark’? Iz spozed tew bee junkee kard, lyk ID?
Spozed 2 b Junkee CAR.
Ooooh, fanks! Sarree *snert*
Mai nawt-gud typin, let mi show u it.
minnut 4: eats awl teh chokklit she can fynd
minnut 5: uses a box as a fayke pyooter,wif puppet kittehs…
minute 15:eets da box den cumplains to kustumer serbice dat it didint tayst so gud
**snerk**
Ai aint takin THAT cawl !!
*fone rings, eeck piks it up*
Hallo, cusstomur cervix.
Yoo sez teh boks we sent yoo is nawt taystee nor nutrishus?
Pleez to be NAWT eetin teh boks. Must we rite this on teh boks?
NAWT intended as a fud sorce.
No fud-lyke warrantees expressed or implied, Kthxbai!
*klik*
That….wuz…AWESUM !!!!!
Box disclaimers….hhhmmmmm….
I’m having a hard time not commenting about “speaking to customer cervix”. My head may explode…
Yikes…diddint even catch that…..
sumfin liek tawkin outta yer A– ??…..
oh dat IS ebil!
Poor rhsb.. hasnt she got enuf problems?
**restarts rhsb’s pyooter**
Doan wurrie… everything is fine… luk at teh kyoot kitteh picshures… well maybee this wun isn’t the kyootest.. check out the snake pic frum yesterday instead.
**wraps rhsb in sawfty blanket and give her a choklit**
**Givs Ebil Maus teh ebil eye**
My job is done here…
*Disappears*
Fanks, leeza-b.
**rocks back and forth, hugging herself, muttering incoherently**
Things kitteh does not care about:
1. You
2. Your clean house
3. Your aversion to hair balls
4. Furniture without tiny holes in it
5. Your aversion to kitteh throw up
6. Curtains
7. Other kitteh
Few things kitteh cares about:
1. Fud
2. Birdies
3. Wiggly things
8. Ennyting taht duzznt direklee purrtane 2 kitteh.
Ai kair fur kitteh off teh skail! ^^
Ebil Maus, u iz
Anoyinin
Boisterous
Cantankerouse
C
Derty rottin
Eeeeebil
Fritning
G…
Depraved
Evil Twin
Foul
G…
Glorious…
Humanitarian….
Inspiring….
J…
(oh,wait…I’m out of the vortex now!)
Gesticulatin
Horrifyin
Indescribably eebil
J…
Ai’ve desydid taht ai’ve had enuf stress n crap goin awn.
.
.
Sew, ai’m gonna do wat teh smart kittehs do – hide unner teh bed until iz ober!
.
.
**tuks tayl n runs unner teh bed**
Ai’ve desydid taht ai’ve had enuf stress n crap goin awn.
.
.
Sew, ai’m gonna do wat teh smart kittehs do – hide unner teh bed until iz ober!
.
.
**tuks tayl n quiklee runs unner teh bed**
CURSIZ 2 U WURDPRESS!
Surchin 4 fyl giva.dmn…sorry…fyl nawt fownd. Pls tu chek ur fyl naym n try agin.
i’m pretty sure this cat is my old cat dusty that i had to give up. i’m kinda weirded out.
That kitty is Speedy who died sometime last year O.o RIP Speedy *mews* He’s on my myspace page.
{{{{Pedretta}}}}
thank god. well. not to the dead kitty part
exitement. ur doin it veeeeeeeeery rooooooooong
U noes? Teh expre… ecksp…. teh look on his fase luks lak mah bruver!
This kitteh wan toona!