When they open door, u says
When they open door, u says “Hello! Has u heard teh gud news about Ceiling Cat?”
picture: RooR. lol caption: blossomo
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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BOM_MOMME on I haz a mad. kvnsgrrl on I haz a mad. luvscatsva on I haz a mad. AfriCat on I haz a mad. AfriCat on I don’t do “Get it… Duffy on I haz a mad. AfriCat on I haz a mad. catena on I don’t do “Get it… virzan tillweed on Video: DJ Kitteh Ambercat on I haz a mad. sweetpea on I don’t do “Get it… gammacat on I haz a mad. 4point5kittehs on I haz a mad. 4point5kittehs on I haz a mad. AngelPlume on I haz a mad.
He’s always on the wrong side of every door…
Herr Maus, a word, if you would? *indicates dunts corner*
Oy!!!! Mr Caretroll!!!! Wot doth u want frum mai frend?
wow, 2 minnits into teh week and Maus is alreddy in trubble??
*from rest home* :snerky snerky snerk!:
Kind Sir or Madame Upfi, I fear that is between Herr Maus and my ward, ZF.
Kthxbai, but ai doez object 2 “Das schöne blaue Donau”, eben tho u iz uzing lolspeak.
Huh? Wha?
My ward, ZF, has asked me to represent her in this affair. She is taking a cure at a rest spa in the country, to try to recuperate from the goings-on.
Apparently, Caturdai night, well into the wee hours, a cavalcade of epic proportions drew up to her house. She holds you responsible. Her report went as follows. I have taken the liberty, with her permission, of editing for coherence.
In the lead was Sir Real, riding B.R., prancing, capering, and yelling college fight songs. Next came Petunia, and this time she really was driving something– the firetruck! Wyatt Earf was riding shotgun, and despite local ordinances, he did have a shotgun, which he discharged frequently.
The firetruck was hauling a swimming poolfull of whipping cream, in which the glowing squirrels were performing synchronized swimming to the tune of “Das Schöne Blaue Donau”.
All of this was enough to drive a strong woman to drink, not to mention the neighbors, but the crowning, as it were, touch, was that you appeared to be stuck at the top of the ladder, which was 75 feet in the air, balancing precariously on the DB cart, egging everyone on with loud exhortations.
What have you to say for yourself, sir?
It wuzzint me. I wuzzint here tihs weakend. It musta been my Ebil Twin. Yeah, taht’s it… my Ebil Twin…
Ai fink u iz aktually Ebil triplets….or quadruplets !!!
(and ai fink my abatar iz back…yay!)
Herr Maus, this is a weak defense. ZF told me that Petunia apologized very prettily, and cleaned up well from the last incident, so we fear she was coerced into this prank. We know that you keep quite a menagerie, I hope you will understand why we drew the conclusion that you were in some way responsible. Have you any siggestions as to how we might find this, er, Ebil Twin? Please don’t tell me he rides a motorcycle.
Um… he rydes a modersiccle. Reelly…
Apparently the server is too busy for our morning hijinks. I would suggest it has something to do with Herr Ebil’s behavior Caturdai night.
*sets off in search of chasm-jumping motorcycle-riding Ebil Twin*, if the server will allow the post.
*Turns back for a parting shot* Maus, I would suggest you make sure that your livestock is safe and secure this morning!
Need some help?
Why MaisNon, how kind of you! Would you like to check on the livestock, or help in this impossible search for my ward’s accused’s, er, Ebil Twin?
Um… caretroll… I duzzint memember annee of taht! All I know iz I waked up wif a bunch of green tendrils all ober me…
i’m sure i duzn’t no nufin bout nufin!
i duzn’t no nufin about nufin!
Aw, Petunia, you poor girl! Do you think any of your stablemates are having the same problem? I’m having trouble getting any leads on this, er, Ebil Twin your master claims to have.
Sweetpea, methinks the lady doth protest, period! Why would you want to get involved unless you were hiding some secret. eh?
**offurs Petunia sum Floofy Spray**
hao kum sweetpea haz too abatarz whut am diffrunt …
butt shii sayz teh saym ting???
mytee suspishuss!!1
u gotta b watching owt fer dem multi purrzon aliteez. Dey b strainj peepz. Watch yer bak!
Bee low deh Ebil Twin iz sidn cuddn sudnl v. fast deh twin ob yr ward.
Uz jut sayin dis, wants to C if Eye gets email note: no, gotz to answer dis furst to C if Eye getz notiss dat hab received answer. (Make sense? Iz a bit layte hear.)
so Y Uz nawt blu in nam?
so Maus, duzznt you has a cycle-logical link wif ur evill twin?
wut wuz he doing at ZF’s?
and, can he come to my house next weekend, so I can has a spa vissit???
*from rest spa*
Oh Leeza, u shud sii!!!!!!!!!! It wuz werf awl the tribble, er, trubble I had tew endoor! *back of wrist to forehead, languishing* It’s lyke a troppikul island heer. Dis muss beez ware teh CBs and teh YNG an teh SLMG’s commz frum! I is being well kareded 4, oh yes!
ohai ZF, glad to see u is being well taken care uv!
Don’t know what I’d DO if I had to go throo that!
But I wud liek to find owt…
Um, wut are SLMGs?
*from rest spa* SLMG’s = Shirtless lawn mowing guys?
I tell u, wen I sawr hoo I thort wuz Maus, waaaaiii up awn taht fyretrukk ladder, hootin an hollerin, an awl ur skwirrlz churnin up teh wippy creem wif teh muzik blarin, I fort it were teh end of life s wii noez it!
woo hoo!
.
I wantz to moob in to teh Guy-Trayning-Spa, too! (duz tehy do mediskul stuffs? taht wuld be teh perfekt fer me!)
SLMGs == Shirtless Lawn Mowing Guys, tehy help Janet wif teh akerage at her howse
*from GTSpa* Ohai PB2K! I haz scene menny wimmenz waring baysebawl capz of awl collurz, and teh menz an wimmenz in medical garb, sew u shud comingz heer tew!!!!
fanks, zauberflolute!
) an orders a nys refill awn mai dwinkee*
.
*plops doan inna loungeechare neer ZF (cuz she has teh bestest vu ov teh bois
.
ahhh….dis iz teh lief!!!
*From a distance*
BWAHAhahahahahahahahaha… *CoughCoughHack*
Ai awnly haz 2 say dat ai waznt dere, but ai objects strongly 2 teh rong quoting of jermin tunes. It haz 2 be “DIE schöne blaue Donau” and u iz gonna die, 2, if u r nawt careful, mai undear caretroll.
Upfi, you are correct. As you can see, my ward’s distrait condition has passed itself to me. I apologize for language inconsistencies!
Ai feelz quiet pazi … pacti … pieceful nao and will let u take of ur charge’s charge against Herr Maus. Dis lookz laik promising ent are tane ment.
wow. dis is gunna be gud.
.
*sits bak to watch teh proceeedinks*
*order a jinnantonix frum cabana boi*
Ai will join you…
***sip,sip****
R u sure dis iz jinnantonix???
Tastes liek vodka & soda.
***suddenlee more interested***
Duz we have cabana boiz now??
Pssss! Wot ARE cabana boiz? Ai iz forayn and confoozled.
oooh Upfi… they r sumthing along teh same lines as YNGs.
But their job is to be at teh pool, and help puts on the sunscreams, and bring drinkses, and wayve palm fronds if itz hawt, that sort uv thing.
oh I forgotted, they is also scantilee clad, and ALWAIS gud lukking and tanned.
(well, akshully, tehy’s teh shirtless lawnmowing guys frum Janet’s akerage, but sinz tehy nawt mowing lawns, I figger tehy culd gits us drinks.
)
.
cabana boiz, shirtless lawnmowing guys – multipurpose menfolk!
AAAAH! Ai feelz enlietened nao! Thx 2 awl 4 eggs planing 2 me teh misteree of cabana bois. Ai can has wun 2 maiself? Pleaz?
Iff U seez Legally Blond, der iz slimy cabana boi in trial seens. Wed not wantz heem 2 ttuch meh!
Menfolk can be multi-purpose ??
****snerk****
Deep ends on wot ur purr posses r, dunt it, eeckthecat. Ai wuld ooze mine 4 cleaning teh house, making drinkses, doing shawpping, dat’s awlready three purr posses ai can fink of in firty sekkunds.
But den dey wud:
-cleen wrong
-make teh drinks wrong
-buy teh wrong fings
Deep ends awn hao u instruckt dem! And wot teh poonishments r if dey getz it rong.
Get em yung, trane em rite, I awlwayz say.
* Joins PB2K and upfi and leeza-B wif ginnantonix
Wunce I dribing tru Wisconsin, saw farm boy scything teh long grass at roadside. He wuz wearing only itty bitty denim cutoffs. The body wuz perfek, wif muscles tat ko frum work, not gym, and blond hairz hanging in eyez ov a lean, pleasant fayce. I almost drobe off teh road. *Sigh*
I shares teh memory so we can haz him bringing drinkses and rubbing on teh sunscreen.
ohai Booklion, hazn’t seen u latelee! U bin bizzy?
maybee we shud make a proper list for Eeck so she noes all teh valyooable things that the multipurrpose YNG/CB/PB/SLMGs(?) can do??
Act verry sweet and solissituss
Bring us drinkses
Calm our nerves wif nice massajes
*from GTSpa*
Dangle graypez fer us tew eet
Entissipayte owr ebberee wish
Forebber bein yummee tew look at
G…
Decorate our wirld wif dere beyootee
Encuraj us to relax
Fetch us teh choklits
ohai, leeza-b, Ize been sick wif shingles, but getting bedder nao.
Declaim “As you wish”
Elevate our moods
Fulfill or every fantasy
Getz teh shawpping
Haulz teh broaken carz
Inventz njoo massadj technicks
J…
*frum spa*
Juss beez demselfz
Kindlee taykin care ob us
Lemonayde bringing
M…
Mayking beeyootiful memories
Needing a little massage in rturn
Opening jars ov olives for martoonies
P…
Putting the loshuns on owr baks
Quieting owr nerves wif soothing musicks
Rustling up sum cheezburgers on teh grill
Soothing owr eyes
Tickling owr fancy
Undermining owr morels
V…
Oh that’s the pleh BL, sowry to heer but glad u is gettin better! As u may hav notissed i has lost control of the skwirrlz. I left them wif Maus when I wented on vacashun. He taut them to make a soo-flay but they has not been the same sinse….
Maybee u can help me get them bak in lion!
sowry, I is makin a mess uv the list!
Juggles drinks and fuds to bring us
Keeps us stocked wif fluffy 100 p towels
Luks fabuluss all teh time
Tey might haz been ruined by teh Maus experins, and will probly go to jail wunce teh caretroll iz thru wif tem.
Maybe it be bdder 2 let tem go, and catch and trayn new skwirrlols.
as if we cud catch them now ennyway!
But I wuz hoping Petunia wud be a gud inflooense on them. *sigh*
Guess we shud waits to see what teh Caretrolls verdickt is before we duz anything tho.
I’m not going to have any definitive answers today, it seems. This, er, Ebil Twin is nigh onto impossible to track. I have no clues, Petunia doesn’t remember anything, Sweetpea is now in hiding after a very provoking remark, and things are not progressing at all! If you would like to catch the squirrels and cure them of any malady they may have picked up inthe way of green tendrils, and then rehabilitate them, please feel free! They are, after all, simple rodents.
ummm, caretroll, r yu sure tat your client zf wuz not
hoaxing yu? Maybe she haz been imbibing funny stuffs tat mayde her ‘maginayte teh whole ting en tat iz why she iz in rehab nao.
I wud hayte to tink tat our belubbed Maus n hiz entourage wuld be so inconsiderate.
oooo. yeah, letz go wif dat, booklion!
N why shuld we beleeb anyting a caretroll sez ennyway?
Rehab = detox???
**skirrlz luf offended at being called ’simple’ rodents**
I suspekts so.
En leeza-b, caretroll called yur specially trained skwirllols
“simple rodents”. Tat iz a shur sine, if not clearly a tangent,
tat sumfing iz bery rong here.
yeah. what ^ she sed.
I think an intervenshun may be in ordur.
**Sends the skwirrlz off to catch teh Caretroll and secure her.**
Simple, indeed!
I finks a dee-breefing is in ordur!
Dee-breef teh caretroll! Dee-breef teh caretroll!
Capital idea, brother! May I assist?
*Gasp!
Tere reelly iz an ebil twin Maus!
Tat…tat meenz…a caretroll wuz right about sumfing!!
*Sound of universe spinning out ov control
**runs owt uv fingers to cownt all teh Maus purrsonalitees**
Teh skirrlz are hawt on Caretroll’s trayle. It’s nawt that hard to see ackshully. They is just following teh used kleenex frum the tears uv hysteria. Shud I call tehm off? I don’t want to cause anymore tilt on the universe spin….
Do as you wish. I’ll be back later…
*Jumps on the MausCycle*
BWAHAhahahahahahahaha…. *CoughCoughHack*
*The MausCycle… DISAPPEARS*
*Points to Ebil Maus* You see here, ladies and gentlemen, what we may call “Exhibit 1″, if you will. This, this, *sputters* this monster has coerced Maus’s menagerie into some pretty flagrant flouting of the laws of the land. Caretrolls carry their briefs in an attache case, especially when acting in an innocent bystander’s best interests, so cannot be debreefed, as you so charmingly put it.
Perhaps this “debreefing” should be performed on Ebil Maus, who had the grace at least to present himself in our company.
I hereby wash my hands of this case, leaving it in your very capable hands. I bleeve I will go join the ladies at the GTSpa…..
*frum Spa*Now whut r wii gonna dew??? EbilMaus haz runnded awai again!! I iz nawt leevin heer till hii is brawt tew jusstiss!!!
Oh lookee! Der’s Caretroll! Ohai Caretroll, U wanna set an rock a spell an hav a drinkie an watch teh enner taynementz?
*from Spa* Why thankee, ma’am, I bleeve I will. Caretrolling is very hard and thirsty werk, I can tell you that for sure!
Ai finks ai needs teh spa…..teh Meeck personalitee seems to be surfacin….
Doin teh dishes
Entertain us wif pose-offs
Flattering us at every turn
G…..
ooh, aint teh farm bois jes teh yummiest???
fank yoo fer bringing such a grate CB to teh Trial Ov Teh LolPik!!!
Glad yu likes him, PB2K. Feel free to bring him along wif yu when yu gets chemo. He will help yu feel bedderer.
Ai iz gonna sit back nao wif u cos ai dunno wot teh commoshion iz all aboot. Of coarse ai do not want 2 bee in teh way if justiss haz 2 take itz due course. Mabbeh Maus haz dun sumfink rly rong and teh caretroll haz been sent 4 a gud risun.
Mornin,upfi!!
Ai founded owt a valuable fing abowt abatars dis weekund…Ai guess if u are alreddy logged into Werdpress on one pyooter(say,werk) u cannot log on at anudder pyooter(say,home).
Hadda go teh whole weekend wifout mai prettee new abatar….lib and lern!
Thx 4 sharing, eeckthecat! But ai dunt reemembar logging out at werk and it wurked awlrite frum hoam? Or mabbeh ai didnt poast ennyfink? Ai dunt reemembar nao, teh weak end iz so lawng ago!
Ai’z not a strong woman, but wud b happi iffn sumwun wud dribe mee 2 drink.
Bwahahaha…gud won!
An tehy sai go wai – wee’z catlik
Nooes!!! Ai iz purr testant!
Well Ai am Mewish. :p
I be Meowmon
but we awls beleev in teh grate CC whu watches ovr us awl.
Ai iz a praktising Meowist.
Seventh Day (= Caturday!) Adventurist here…
I yoosta b Meowthudist…
But nao u follows teh teechinz ov Purrdha? Teh Ninetailed Path (used to be 8-folds, but den he added teh catnip playtings an we awl had moar funs)?
Oh noes!111!!! Itz teh witneffef!
And then stik ur foot in teh door and giv them pamflets.
that is, if they comes to teh door.
no one seems to be hoam in this nayborhood…..
Dey awnly catch me if ai am orff sick at hoam… and then ai haz no tyme 4 relidjen.
Iffn Ai seez dem cummin, Ai hiedz til dey go wai!;)
sshhhh…. be vewy vewy kwiet…….
… we’re huntin wabbits …. hehehehehe…
Eh….
*crunch crunch chomp chomp chew chew*
Watz up, Doc?
HEY! We haz got a brayd! Conga rats, mai dear cheezfrenz Maus and Annipuss!
w00t! Wif yoo, upfi-ov-teh-kewl-abatar, wii’z gawt a macrame! I fink taht Krissy’s Macrame Hut iz open fer yur shoppink pleshure!
.
Drinks, dances???
YES!!!!!!! Can ai has a cheezburger to nom and a naice cocktail and ai dunno aboot danses, at least nawt while ai iz nomming.
And Conga Rats 2 leeza-b!!!!! Mai pjooter iz tew slow.
Lol! fanks Upfi! We has a macramay it seems! Just a brayd wif wun extra string.
*lookz puzzled*
So wif three peeps itz a braid and wif moar dan three it’s a macramay, yes?
Dat seemz 2 b teh rool, upfi. Ai jus had mai lunsh, so don fink Ai wanna dance, but a drinkie wud be nies – a tradishunl Ingerlish bitter beer, pls.
Kitteh dosen’t U haz bedder tings to do than bug odder kittehs on Caturday
morning, go chase some micees and haz sum nipz and lie in deh sunbeams and
napz.
Yeah, lyk NORMUL kittehz! (Az if kittehz r ebber normul, but u get wat ai meen, rite?)
Den you sez: “He’z deh save-yer wit deh flavvur”, k?
W00T! It eben rhimez!!! Eggs elland, Missy! But ai still dont wantz 2 open teh door.
Den we jus leev lit-rit-chur on yer door handl….tinks.
Hallo, mai naem is Gorjis Kitteh. Ai’m sellin magazeens 2 put maiself thro collij. Hao menee can ai put u down 4? Elebenty?
Kthxbai.
Oh hai rhsb! Hao iz u 2dey? Ai haz been finking of u …
Ohai, upfi.
Iz doin abowt teh saem. Mai doc put mi on anudder (addishinal) anti-depressant an teh syde-efficks iz teh pleh. Ai’ve got a call 2 mai doc, 2 see if tihs iz normul.
Fanks 4 askin.
Oh yeah, an sumbodee stolded mai fud last wiik at werk.
Stoopy bi-peds.
An peepl wunner wai ai lyk kittehs bettur tahn most hoomins.
oh I HATES is when they steals my fuds at werk!
wut happend wif the Florence kitteh?
Did ur parents say u cud bring her hoam?
Leeza-b – Teh reelee bad ting abowt mai fudz gettin stolded iz taht ai werk 4 law enforsmint! :-0 Alot uv mai cowurkurz r pakin heet.
{{{{rhsb}}}}
Ai iz curious abowt teh Florence,too ….
Ai ended up nawt talkin 2 teh paruntz abowt Florence yet. Ai’m still tryin 2 figger owt wat ai’m gonna end up doin (stayin oar goin) an ai no wanna disrupt a kitteh enny moar tahn ai has 2.
{{{{{{rhsb}}}}}} ohai, wii is awl 1deren bout mz Florence
effen i purrchases sum maggiezines wheel u telz uz ?
Kan Ai haff a verjin peena coloda? (An sum pane killurs,too pleez?Ai gots me a hedake.I gets lotsa dem
)
Den I sez, Jus foolin! Wud yu liek to bie sum brushes? or sum purrfyooms? or a nenskik- an encykel- sum inneresting books?
Den we laffs an runs awaie.
Kitteh sez: “Avaune caullyng; weez hazza lawtta nieyce stuf awn sayle rite naow foar owr Spryng Kleerince; ebbereefing bees haff-pryce;
Awlsoe weez haz freiee sampules ov stuf; adn iyf yoar nawt iyntristid iyn purrfumez, weez haz Tuhparwahre az wel; wutebber yuu wantez;
Jes hav yuur krehdit kaurd reddy!!!!!!! :loll:
Nawww reelijin bores mee. Sho me teh Purrl Scout kibblies! I tayk elebenty duzn of Thin Catmintz!!!
Oopz, rong seezun.
Oooooh, wot a pritty abatar, cheshirekittehkat! Lubly!!!1!
Fanks, Upfi;
Ai awlsoe jes luuves yuurs!!!!!
Aye haz problum nawt laffing nao…mai sizter sitting akros de rum wood want to no whut so funee…nd she bee majur JW. *sigh*
U nebber no…ayes JW…haz sensor humr.
As was brought to my attention…We need to have JW for Ceiling Cat going around door to door handing out the LOLbible…Just a thought.