When they open door, u says
When they open door, u says “Hello! Has u heard teh gud news about Ceiling Cat?”
picture: RooR. lol caption: blossomo
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
He’s always on the wrong side of every door…
Herr Maus, a word, if you would? *indicates dunts corner*
Oy!!!! Mr Caretroll!!!! Wot doth u want frum mai frend?
wow, 2 minnits into teh week and Maus is alreddy in trubble??
*from rest home* :snerky snerky snerk!:
Kind Sir or Madame Upfi, I fear that is between Herr Maus and my ward, ZF.
Kthxbai, but ai doez object 2 “Das schöne blaue Donau”, eben tho u iz uzing lolspeak.
Huh? Wha?
My ward, ZF, has asked me to represent her in this affair. She is taking a cure at a rest spa in the country, to try to recuperate from the goings-on.
Apparently, Caturdai night, well into the wee hours, a cavalcade of epic proportions drew up to her house. She holds you responsible. Her report went as follows. I have taken the liberty, with her permission, of editing for coherence.
In the lead was Sir Real, riding B.R., prancing, capering, and yelling college fight songs. Next came Petunia, and this time she really was driving something– the firetruck! Wyatt Earf was riding shotgun, and despite local ordinances, he did have a shotgun, which he discharged frequently.
The firetruck was hauling a swimming poolfull of whipping cream, in which the glowing squirrels were performing synchronized swimming to the tune of “Das Schöne Blaue Donau”.
All of this was enough to drive a strong woman to drink, not to mention the neighbors, but the crowning, as it were, touch, was that you appeared to be stuck at the top of the ladder, which was 75 feet in the air, balancing precariously on the DB cart, egging everyone on with loud exhortations.
What have you to say for yourself, sir?
It wuzzint me. I wuzzint here tihs weakend. It musta been my Ebil Twin. Yeah, taht’s it… my Ebil Twin…
Ai fink u iz aktually Ebil triplets….or quadruplets !!!
(and ai fink my abatar iz back…yay!)
Herr Maus, this is a weak defense. ZF told me that Petunia apologized very prettily, and cleaned up well from the last incident, so we fear she was coerced into this prank. We know that you keep quite a menagerie, I hope you will understand why we drew the conclusion that you were in some way responsible. Have you any siggestions as to how we might find this, er, Ebil Twin? Please don’t tell me he rides a motorcycle.
Um… he rydes a modersiccle. Reelly…
Apparently the server is too busy for our morning hijinks. I would suggest it has something to do with Herr Ebil’s behavior Caturdai night.
*sets off in search of chasm-jumping motorcycle-riding Ebil Twin*, if the server will allow the post.
*Turns back for a parting shot* Maus, I would suggest you make sure that your livestock is safe and secure this morning!
Need some help?
Why MaisNon, how kind of you! Would you like to check on the livestock, or help in this impossible search for my ward’s accused’s, er, Ebil Twin?
Um… caretroll… I duzzint memember annee of taht! All I know iz I waked up wif a bunch of green tendrils all ober me…
i’m sure i duzn’t no nufin bout nufin!
i duzn’t no nufin about nufin!
Aw, Petunia, you poor girl! Do you think any of your stablemates are having the same problem? I’m having trouble getting any leads on this, er, Ebil Twin your master claims to have.
Sweetpea, methinks the lady doth protest, period! Why would you want to get involved unless you were hiding some secret. eh?
**offurs Petunia sum Floofy Spray**
hao kum sweetpea haz too abatarz whut am diffrunt …
butt shii sayz teh saym ting???
mytee suspishuss!!1
u gotta b watching owt fer dem multi purrzon aliteez. Dey b strainj peepz. Watch yer bak!
so Maus, duzznt you has a cycle-logical link wif ur evill twin?
wut wuz he doing at ZF’s?
and, can he come to my house next weekend, so I can has a spa vissit???
*from rest spa*
Oh Leeza, u shud sii!!!!!!!!!! It wuz werf awl the tribble, er, trubble I had tew endoor! *back of wrist to forehead, languishing* It’s lyke a troppikul island heer. Dis muss beez ware teh CBs and teh YNG an teh SLMG’s commz frum! I is being well kareded 4, oh yes!
ohai ZF, glad to see u is being well taken care uv!
Don’t know what I’d DO if I had to go throo that!
But I wud liek to find owt…
Um, wut are SLMGs?
*from rest spa* SLMG’s = Shirtless lawn mowing guys?
I tell u, wen I sawr hoo I thort wuz Maus, waaaaiii up awn taht fyretrukk ladder, hootin an hollerin, an awl ur skwirrlz churnin up teh wippy creem wif teh muzik blarin, I fort it were teh end of life s wii noez it!
woo hoo!
.
I wantz to moob in to teh Guy-Trayning-Spa, too! (duz tehy do mediskul stuffs? taht wuld be teh perfekt fer me!)
SLMGs == Shirtless Lawn Mowing Guys, tehy help Janet wif teh akerage at her howse
*from GTSpa* Ohai PB2K! I haz scene menny wimmenz waring baysebawl capz of awl collurz, and teh menz an wimmenz in medical garb, sew u shud comingz heer tew!!!!
fanks, zauberflolute!
) an orders a nys refill awn mai dwinkee*
.
*plops doan inna loungeechare neer ZF (cuz she has teh bestest vu ov teh bois
.
ahhh….dis iz teh lief!!!
*From a distance*
BWAHAhahahahahahahahaha… *CoughCoughHack*
Ai awnly haz 2 say dat ai waznt dere, but ai objects strongly 2 teh rong quoting of jermin tunes. It haz 2 be “DIE schöne blaue Donau” and u iz gonna die, 2, if u r nawt careful, mai undear caretroll.
Upfi, you are correct. As you can see, my ward’s distrait condition has passed itself to me. I apologize for language inconsistencies!
Ai feelz quiet pazi … pacti … pieceful nao and will let u take of ur charge’s charge against Herr Maus. Dis lookz laik promising ent are tane ment.
wow. dis is gunna be gud.
.
*sits bak to watch teh proceeedinks*
*order a jinnantonix frum cabana boi*
Ai will join you…
***sip,sip****
R u sure dis iz jinnantonix???
Tastes liek vodka & soda.
***suddenlee more interested***
Duz we have cabana boiz now??
Pssss! Wot ARE cabana boiz? Ai iz forayn and confoozled.
oooh Upfi… they r sumthing along teh same lines as YNGs.
But their job is to be at teh pool, and help puts on the sunscreams, and bring drinkses, and wayve palm fronds if itz hawt, that sort uv thing.
oh I forgotted, they is also scantilee clad, and ALWAIS gud lukking and tanned.
(well, akshully, tehy’s teh shirtless lawnmowing guys frum Janet’s akerage, but sinz tehy nawt mowing lawns, I figger tehy culd gits us drinks.
)
.
cabana boiz, shirtless lawnmowing guys - multipurpose menfolk!
AAAAH! Ai feelz enlietened nao! Thx 2 awl 4 eggs planing 2 me teh misteree of cabana bois. Ai can has wun 2 maiself? Pleaz?
Menfolk can be multi-purpose ??
****snerk****
Deep ends on wot ur purr posses r, dunt it, eeckthecat. Ai wuld ooze mine 4 cleaning teh house, making drinkses, doing shawpping, dat’s awlready three purr posses ai can fink of in firty sekkunds.
But den dey wud:
-cleen wrong
-make teh drinks wrong
-buy teh wrong fings
Deep ends awn hao u instruckt dem! And wot teh poonishments r if dey getz it rong.
Get em yung, trane em rite, I awlwayz say.
* Joins PB2K and upfi and leeza-B wif ginnantonix
Wunce I dribing tru Wisconsin, saw farm boy scything teh long grass at roadside. He wuz wearing only itty bitty denim cutoffs. The body wuz perfek, wif muscles tat ko frum work, not gym, and blond hairz hanging in eyez ov a lean, pleasant fayce. I almost drobe off teh road. *Sigh*
I shares teh memory so we can haz him bringing drinkses and rubbing on teh sunscreen.
ohai Booklion, hazn’t seen u latelee! U bin bizzy?
maybee we shud make a proper list for Eeck so she noes all teh valyooable things that the multipurrpose YNG/CB/PB/SLMGs(?) can do??
Act verry sweet and solissituss
Bring us drinkses
Calm our nerves wif nice massajes
*from GTSpa*
Dangle graypez fer us tew eet
Entissipayte owr ebberee wish
Forebber bein yummee tew look at
G…
Decorate our wirld wif dere beyootee
Encuraj us to relax
Fetch us teh choklits
ohai, leeza-b, Ize been sick wif shingles, but getting bedder nao.
Declaim “As you wish”
Elevate our moods
Fulfill or every fantasy
Getz teh shawpping
Haulz teh broaken carz
Inventz njoo massadj technicks
J…
*frum spa*
Juss beez demselfz
Kindlee taykin care ob us
Lemonayde bringing
M…
Mayking beeyootiful memories
Needing a little massage in rturn
Opening jars ov olives for martoonies
P…
Putting the loshuns on owr baks
Quieting owr nerves wif soothing musicks
Rustling up sum cheezburgers on teh grill
Soothing owr eyes
Tickling owr fancy
Undermining owr morels
V…
Oh that’s the pleh BL, sowry to heer but glad u is gettin better! As u may hav notissed i has lost control of the skwirrlz. I left them wif Maus when I wented on vacashun. He taut them to make a soo-flay but they has not been the same sinse….
Maybee u can help me get them bak in lion!
sowry, I is makin a mess uv the list!
Juggles drinks and fuds to bring us
Keeps us stocked wif fluffy 100 p towels
Luks fabuluss all teh time
Tey might haz been ruined by teh Maus experins, and will probly go to jail wunce teh caretroll iz thru wif tem.
Maybe it be bdder 2 let tem go, and catch and trayn new skwirrlols.
as if we cud catch them now ennyway!
But I wuz hoping Petunia wud be a gud inflooense on them. *sigh*
Guess we shud waits to see what teh Caretrolls verdickt is before we duz anything tho.
I’m not going to have any definitive answers today, it seems. This, er, Ebil Twin is nigh onto impossible to track. I have no clues, Petunia doesn’t remember anything, Sweetpea is now in hiding after a very provoking remark, and things are not progressing at all! If you would like to catch the squirrels and cure them of any malady they may have picked up inthe way of green tendrils, and then rehabilitate them, please feel free! They are, after all, simple rodents.
ummm, caretroll, r yu sure tat your client zf wuz not
hoaxing yu? Maybe she haz been imbibing funny stuffs tat mayde he