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no parkin heer


cat

no parkin heer violayters will b perforated

oar kitteh will perforate ur tirez insted

picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: madge

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» 159 Comments

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

 
  1. Maus says:

    A woman walks into a bar with a cat on her head…

    • leeza-b says:

      she goes up to the bartender….

      • Maus says:

        The bartender looks up and says “Where did you get that ape?”

        • bodriz says:

          n she sez “i gots it foar sayin congarats to maus foar nawt sekkund!”

        • Harry says:

          The lady says “That’s not an ape, it’s a cat!”

          • Maus says:

            The bartender says “I was TALKING to the cat!”

            • Harry says:

              :) :) :)

              Congrats on furst comment, Maus!

              *** runs and hides from Teho****

              • Maus says:

                *Acting as The Teho Surrogate*
                BLEEN!
                :cool:

                • Maus says:

                  Thanx, Harry… It’s good to be first… Oops! :oops: :grin:

                  • Harry says:

                    *TTS*
                    BLEEN ;)

                  • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

                    :shock: MAUS!!!! Or – do ai detekt sumthing else???

                    An ai wuzn’t heer awl day yesterday. Did Teho doo sumthing??

                    • Maus says:

                      Not that I know of. Sometimes it is fun to tweak some noses :cool:

                    • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

                      An Conga Ratz (still nawt waring teh noo costyooms tant cSmall is disigning awun the luvlee braid of Maus, leeza-b and Jimmbo!

                      Yoo may awl taek a bow! An tehn off to teh TY BOO Teek wif yoo!

                      An Maus – iffn yoo dont’ want yur bobblol hedded kitthe – ai cud uze another wun. Cuz ai haz awnlee just teh wun, yoo know! An yoo madeded mee sing fur that wun!! ;)

                      • Maus says:

                        Yoo can haz my boblolhead kitteh. Yoo needs to has 4!

                        • leeza-b says:

                          OOO I forgetted to get mine!
                          **snatches bobblol hed kitteh**
                          fanks Janet! Itz SEW kyoot!!
                          **puts up on mantul and admires**
                          **can’t stop flicking the hed**
                          *flick*
                          *flick*
                          *flick*
                          *flick*
                          *flick*

                        • upfi says:

                          Must av been a kwik wash 4 teh lolspeak
                          *insert devilish smily here but ai noez nawt how*

                        • cweenmj says:

                          Dat be deh : evil : for :evil:
                          Oar deh : twisted : for :twisted:
                          :mrgreen:

                        • cweenmj says:

                          Oh krapz!!
                          deh mrgreen wuz spost 2 b on himz own line!!
                          Stoopee werdpress!! I make u go sit in korner agin if u don’t behave!!!
                          .
                          Oh yeah, u just takez owt deh spaicez by deh kolunz.
                          .
                          :mrgreen:

        • leeza-b says:

          And the cat replies, that’s no pink monkeh, that’s my hoomin!

          **sownd uv applesause and laffter**

          We’re heer all week folks!

          • eeckthecat says:

            Okai….ai FINALLY gets to log on dis mornin,and DIS iz wut ai get……bad jokes by Maus ?????

          • PwnedBy2Kittehs says:

            *clapping floofly paws togedder*
            .
            wuht a wai to stat mai day! Fank yoo, teh amazing teem ov Maus an leeza-b!
            .
            An mai I ask wuht yoo wuld liek fer yur Nawt Sekkund Ty? Danses? Drinkses? A twip to teh Taibo Teak? I herd resentlee dat tehre ar noo Bobblol Hed Kittehs!

            • Maus says:

              I think everyone should go to The Ministry of Silly Walks and present their silliest walk. And perhaps have a couple of Jinnantonix beforehand to help them loosen up…

              • PwnedBy2Kittehs says:

                well, shoot…iffn ai’d nown yoo wanted sillie walks, I wuldnt hab takin mai post-kemo meds! (Sillee Motor Skills ar a possibul side effekt).
                .
                I’ll pass awn the jinnantonix, sadlee. Gonna haf to stik to moo joos fer teh tiem beink.

              • Eve says:

                MOSW makes me fall off teh sofa LOLing!

              • Harry says:

                I haz fownd that anti-malarial tablets taken before airplane flytes rezult inn xtreem difikultees wif depth purrcef… parcept… tellin how far away the floor iz. Silly walks with luggage in airport concourse, let me show yu it!

                • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

                  O hai Harry. Ai dont bleeve we hav met. Ai am Janet ov teh 4 Kittehs. Haodee3doo!

                  But hao offen doo yoo taek these antee Marylol tablets befoar flying?? And – shere ar you going?? An wai?

                  Sorree – teh inkwisitivness – ai suffer frum it! :D

              • Aahz says:

                Tawp o’ da marnin 2 awl da cheezpeepz owt dere, inkloodin da noo wunz! Wellkum!

                4 ur vyoowin plezzyur, da Minuhstree uv Sillee Wawkz:

                youtube.com/watch?v=IqhlQfXUk7w

                (*ifn we can haz CHRGs 4 da hed splortz, wat doo we yooz 2 purr-tekt aginst syd-splittin laffs?*)

                • leeza-b says:

                  heer Aahz, let me halp u wif dat:

                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqhlQfXUk7w

                  • Aahz says:

                    I b gittin tyrd uv haow WerdPretzel keapz chaynjin itz mynd bowt haow it wawntz 2 poast doze leenkeez. :-(

                    Wun day it wawntz da h t t p stuf, n da nekst day it doan…

                    Mai kornfyoozyun n impayshuntz — let me shoe u dem… :-(

                  • Aahz says:

                    O, n fankee 4 da hepz, leeza-b! :-)

                    • leeza-b says:

                      Ur welkum! Don’t worry abowt weirdpress. Maybee it’s just ur turn today. ;)
                      *whispers*
                      but all I didded wuz add ‘www.’ to teh front uv wut u had.

                      • two_kitteh_limit says:

                        fur protektin agenst teh siyd spliten laffs, mai ai humbely porpoise…

                        teh offishul ICHC TOOB TOP! alwais sold free sizes too smalf.

                        taht shud be holdin sides an keepin tehm form splitten.

                        Wut u cheezpeeps tink? we can haz ICHC TOOB TOPS in the tybooteek?

                        • upfi says:

                          Grate idea, two_kitteh_limit!!!1!! AI can haz 2 or three 2 get started?

                        • marymary says:

                          Dats a grate ideeya! Ai needz at leest won, mehbe 2 TOOB TOPS maisef.

                        • Aahz says:

                          Sew, 4 eez uv tiepin, kin we yooz CBTT (Cheez Burgr Toob Top)? N mebbe CBTT(w/koi) 4 da wun wif kittehz awn em? Oar CBTT(w/poi) 4 wif pitchurz awn em? Oar 4 da reelee fantsee peepz, CBTT(w/roi) 4 wif rynstoanz awn em?

                      • Aahz says:

                        I yoozdid ‘www.’ b4 n awl I gotted wuz playn tekst. I yoozdid da hole “h t t p : / / 8-setruh” (wifowt spaysiz) b4 n it werkdid fyn.

                        Den anuvver dai I yoozdid da “h t t p” fing n WerdPretzel eeted mai kawmint.

                        N yestiddee I did wun wifowt spaysiz n WerdPretzel tookt itz meezlee tym poastin, n da meentym I reepoastid wif spaysiz n WerdPretzel putted n anuvver “h t t p” wifowt spaysiz n givd me uh leenkee. :???:

                        Da ownlee wun wat seamz 2 werk awl da tym is ifn I putz n uh leenkee 2 wun uv mai LOLz.

                        Watebbur…

                        • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

                          Dear Aajz – nex time yoo ar traing to do this, pleez try to find me!

                          Ai think maybee ai cud halp! :D

            • whiskers says:

              “clappity clappity”

  2. leeza-b says:

    respeckt my authoritie!!

    • Jimmba says:

      south park ref ftw!! :D

      • leeza-b says:

        fanks Jimmba!
        Is we the onlee wuns heer todai?
        Gess we can throw owrselves a partee! Wut u feel liek doin?

        • Jimmba says:

          teh weader in TTI is mizrable tewday so I feel like habbin a naice warm cup ob hawt chokklit wid sum Jagermeister in it, an juz curlin up n goin tew bed, but, alas, ai’m at wurk :( hows bowt yew leeza?

          • leeza-b says:

            hawt chokit- yes
            wif jager? :shock: no fankuverymuchanyway!
            Chambord mite be nise! Or kahlua.. or anythingbutjager….

            We is in a drowt heer, wish u cud send us sum of ur miserabul rainy wether!

            • Jimmba says:

              but iz delishuz!! if dun proplee ob course. yew needs a nice strong hot chawklitt, and den yew add a shot ob jager, and then top wid wippy creme :D de swrrlols can get involbed!!

          • Harry says:

            Meister Mick Jager?

          • upfi says:

            Ai dunno, ai lubz hawt chokklit, but cant abaide Jรคgermeister (sorry, haz 2 putz teh umlauts in, even in lolspeak). Pleh. U can haz awl u wantz! Ai haz a cauffee instead.

            • upfi says:

              MAI ABATAR!!!1!!!! Letz me show u it!
              *happi dans happi pranz happi hop hop hop*

              • leeza-b says:

                dats a kewl abatar Upfi!

                • upfi says:

                  Itz teh bery hungry CATerpillar … dat’s me. Thx 4 liking me!
                  {{{leeza-b}}}

                  • Jimmba says:

                    :O ai bemember reedin dat wen ai wus in skewl!! :D twas wun ob mai bery fave … vayb … i lubbed it!! :) aaah da memoreez

                  • eeckthecat says:

                    Iz berry kewl & nostal….nistal….berry old skool !!!
                    My avatar iz boring…..time to find an old “Eek the Cat” piktur or sumfin….

                    • upfi says:

                      Year! Letz awl get kewl abatars!1!!! Altho ai awlready gotz quiet oozed 2 ur green pic, eeckthecat.

                      • eeckthecat says:

                        ***sigh****
                        Yesh…iz eezy to spot inna thred,too.
                        Wud be nice to see sumfin more eggciting,tho.

                      • Aahz says:

                        Yeh, I liekz ur abatar 2, upfi! I’z red Berree Hawngree CAT-urpillow lawtsa tymz 2 mai kidletz, n deyz ebben can haz da beedeeyoh. Wun dai mai liddul gurl caym hoam frum skewl n dere prawjikt dat dai wuz maykin uh sok puppit uv da CAT-urpillow wif sum paypur frootz for himz 2 “eet” thru! :-)

                      • Upfi says:

                        Ai ownlee readz it when ai waz littul, but did nawt make fings. Iz naice 2 noes dat sow many cheezpeeps noes teh book!

                        • eeckthecat says:

                          Upfi….where duz one hafta go & wut duz one hafta do to change teh avatar ???

                        • upfi says:

                          *putz on geek hat (with propeller)*

                          You go to the wordpress.com web site (I don’t know how to do links, but I trust you know you need to add w w w. at the beginning). You need an account there (I used the same user ID I have here and the same mail address. You log in and go to your personal dashboard or account or whatever it says at the top right corner of the screen when you are logged in.

                          In your account you see your nice green avatar. Above, there is a link (Edit Picture). You click that and then you can upload a picture. When it has uploaded, you can crop / resize it by dragging the dots of the frame that appears). That’s it – for the moment.

                          Then (and this is the important bit) BEFORE you click your favorite cheezburger link, you must FIRST log in at wordpress.com and THEN come here and play with us. Only if you are logged in at wordpress will your avatar show up here.

                          Try it! If it doesn’t work, we’ll sort it out tomorrow, ok? I’ll be back!

                          *takez geek hat off*
                          Phew! Such a lawng speetch in a forayn lankwitch!

                        • eeckthecat says:

                          Fanks….u iz berry thorough….ai lieks dat inna catterpiller !!!

                        • Hey!!! A liddul fren foar mi!!! (Can yew sii teh happee Ai has?)

                          *flits to upfi*
                          Yore legz ar nawt sew stick-liek, but yew haz teh mutch covetid lawng-waystidness!!! Bravo, hongree cat-urpillow!!!

                          Hey, wii shud haev a piknik:
                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr8vUTm64h0

                        • Eveann haz teh fyrmens!!!

                        • upfi says:

                          Ohai, sweetmotherofmars!1!!! Hao lubly 2 C u! Yes, u r mai littul frend and ai’ll bee yoors. Cannaught go 2 utoob nao, but will do so l8er. Picnic wif fyrmens soundz marfe …. marveli … wunnerful!!1! But nawt here, plz, weaffer iz cold and naught naice and rainz awl day.

                        • *wishes warmer weather to upfi*

              • annipuss says:

                Congratumalashuns on gettin yur abatar Upfi Ai’ve jus sined up 2 wurdpress 2 see iffn Ai cn get mine 2 wurk.

  3. Jimmba says:

    fashun police kitteh shreds yoar anorak!

  4. bodriz says:

    i lol’d

  5. Harry says:

    Please tear along the perforated line and return the stub with your fine payment.

  6. SanSan says:

    ZOMBIE KITTEHS!!!! O_O

    i told youse they were gonna eat our brains….

  7. MissShelb11 says:

    yeah! nobode park heer!

  8. Jack Deth says:

    Tooncez t3h Drybeeng
    Instruckkturr iz nawt pleezd wiff
    paralell pawrkeeng

    Paralell pawrkeeng iz
    nawt datz hawrd! Espesshillee
    awnz an emptee street

    Prittee Wun muss tryz
    aginn! Awllso getz Toonces
    summplayss nyss andz dry! :-)

    Jack.

  9. marymary says:

    Watt a lubbly fer hat. Itt mus tikkul hur, cuz sheez laffing. Ai uzed tu hab a simler fer skarf (himz naem wuz Bonkers – - Itsa Bonko fer, wit teh Bonko stil insied! Ony $19.95. I mis himz, himz gon along tiem nao.)

    • upfi says:

      {{{{{marymary}}}}}
      Sorry 2 hear aboot Bonkers … ai understandz u haz a sad. :sad:

      • marymary says:

        Fank u. Wuts wurs iz dat Ai got lerjic tu kittehs wen Ai haz mai dawter, sew cudn’t get more kittehs. Ai m gedding shawts nao fur teh lerjicness (2x a weak, adn dey brooz mai armz), sew mehbee Ai kin get teh kittehs in nawt tu much lonker (6 monts tu a yeer).

        • upfi says:

          Ai iz awlso lerjic 2 kittehs so ai dunt haz wun. But ai lubz dem. Iz grate sacree …. sacker …. grate fing u do ebbery week so mabbeh u can haz kitteh again! Ai haz gotz shawts 4 mai hey febber and it tookz a lawng tyme, but it wurked and nao ai dont sneezez so much. So ai iz op teamy stick 4 u!

          • marymary says:

            Ai keapz mai feengurs X’d. BTW, Ai lub ur abatar, adn da hongree kattapiller. I uzed tu reed it awl teh tyme tu mai dawter. She lubbed it tu.

        • Duffy says:

          Try a Meezer cat. Tehy are hypoalur- hypp – tehy are less allurgy cawsing tehn uther kittehs, n tehy hardly shed atall. Plus also tehy are funnee an tehr bloo eies luk so wunderful. (Mine is a seelpoint, teh points are teh colur of reely good dark choklit.) An tehy tawk so cyoot.

          • Romeow says:

            Or mebee a hairless sphynx cat, iffs u doan mind taekin care ov their skin. Frum wat I’ve seen at cat shows, dey seem to hab lots and lots ov purrsonality.

  10. CheshireKittehKat says:

    Wowsers; Kitteh Meter-Maid; tehms geyts rlly dyligint iyn owr towne, adn gibbs paurkyng tikkits aowt lef & rite: butt tihs bees carrieyng vyolashun huntyng tuu teh xtreem!!!!

    (Iyf tehms kan ebber reemuuve KMM frum ladee’s hed, Ai doan fink her wil ebber paurk tehre agen….!!!) :roll:

  11. poohbear3931 says:

    In Sobiet R00sha, kitteh haz y00!

    • poohbear3931 says:

      Ooops! OMG, wut be happening hear? Duplicat…duplicash… Doubling the effertz. Methinks teh lolparrot haz pressded sumfing an I nots notising. Teh lolparrot bees bery bad an cunnin. Nao iz nommimg mah t-shurt.

  12. shadow says:

    morn peeps and congorats maus! but im celebrating because im finnally out ob duniway elementary school for good! (bloons fly up and i run around hugging ebbreeboddy)
    P.S. ima pesimist.

  13. shadow says:

    i must meditate.

  14. whiskers says:

    can one of yu peeps pop on over to “cute overload” and see if the site is not working? I was looking at it not half an hour ago, but when I try to access it now I just get a blank screen…

  15. shadow says:

    im going to my happy place and im taking you all with me. (portal opens up shoots us all to a rock and sand filled landscape with terrible sandstorms and no plant, human, or animal life then portal closes.)

    • cweenmj says:

      *Lukz arownd.*
      Hay!! wutz wif awl dis sand?
      *Sand in shuuz, sand in pokkitz. Sand in eerholez. Sand in noze.*
      .
      Uumm….
      I not liking deis rock adn sand landskape wif sadnstormz. Kin I b habbing a liddul spring shower? adn sum cool streemz?

      • poohbear3931 says:

        Tihs remindz me ov a loljoke: French Foreign Legionnaire comes across lady buried up to her neck in the desert, because she has been caught with another lady’s hubkitteh. FFL, “If I dig you out, oh lubberly lady of the desert, wut’s in it 4 me?”

        “Sand”.

        Tee hee.

    • poohbear3931 says:

      Iz yoo an Komolol Dragoon, l’il shadow? Beem me up, Scootie!

  16. poohbear3931 says:

    Ah bee trying 2 see if mah abatar wurks…

  17. Duffy says:

    I NOES WHUT V-E-T SPELLS AN WE R NOT GOIN!!

  18. shadow says:

    bye.

  19. expat says:

    Kitteh demonstrates Vulcan Mind-Meld

  20. lolnoob says:

    oh hai ebryone,

    sry 2 inerrup, but molly teh kitteh in germany needz ur halp. ai dunno fur shur ib iz joek or prankz or whateber, but iz only needz 500,000 views 2 saiv molly from erlee daet wif Ceiling Cat. so engrish translashun of websiet iz heer (fanks 2 google):

    http://www.google.com/translate?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.helft-molly.de.vu%2F&hl=en&ie=UTF8&sl=de&sl=es&tl=en&tl=en

    pleeze to halp ib pawsible, only needz ur many clicks, and pleeze to spread teh werd ebrywere. kfanksbai!

    • Romeow says:

      I luked on Snopes.com and didn’t see it listed as a hoax. Still cud b, but it onlee taeks a click. Even if iz a hoax…habn’t lost much. I did it.

      • lolnoob says:

        fanks romeow!

        ai wuz hoapin fur moar respawnzes frum heer, but ebry liddle bid kawns. ib u nawt mind, how cud ai pawblisize tihs apeel awn ICHC, sew it wiil be reech awt 2 moar kitteh lurvers? fanksbai!

  21. jmuhj says:

    Parkers, partikyoolarlii nosii wuns, wil bii prosiikutud. BARKERS wil bii perfuratid. Permunentlii.

    • Cassidy says:

      Ooh, we haz bran noo law in dis county dat sez barkers will be prosamakyooted. (Akshully it sez teh owners will, but yu gets teh idea.)

      Sum peeps bees not happi becuz nuffin wuz sed about teh kittehs. Rly!! But ai has nebber hurd a kitteh bark.

      Hmph.

  22. Tessie says:

    /naycher channel narrator voice/

    Teh kittehs az we all no ar larj feerce skary predators. They wait pashuntly for many ours on tree lim overhed. Then wen unsuspeckting tasty lookin prey walks unsuspecktingly under their hiding place where they are sekretly lerking, they attack wif litening kwick speed…

    POUNCE!

    and NOM!!!

    \naycher channel narrater voice off\

  23. And nao the obbyes…

    ‘We cantz park hear! Its cat countree!’

  24. aJ says:

    caution: NOT decLawed!!!
    bwahahaahahhaahahahah
    orangey eveiL kitteh surprise

  25. JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

    OOOO!! WannaSmile!! Owie! That hurtz just thinking ov it!! ;)

  26. The Cats Mutha says:

    O Hai!

    Iz nu to ICHC, lolspeak not yet perfick, plz be havin paishence wit meh!!

    Meh thinx ketteh sayin “Nooo, cagools not fashnable no more!!!”

  27. whiskers says:

    yeah, no popin wif teh claws!! yur hep jus hurts!

  28. marymary says:

    Adn leevz teh skarz. NOT WANT!!!

  29. Kayjoy says:

    welcum, teh cats mutha! ur lolspeek iz gud- this iz a flexable langwidge!
    hav fun!

  30. Duffy says:

    Hi TCM! All lolspeek is perfik so long as its in good hyoomur. Onlee rool is: play nise! Welcum!

  31. Romeow says:

    Oh hai The Cats Mutha!

    Welcum to our Burger Whirled! Doan wurry about ur lolspeak – iz gud already. Juss relax, joyne in, and hab a gud tiem! We lub to hab noo peeps maekin comments!
    {{{{{The Cats Mutha}}}}}



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