no parkin heer

no parkin heer violayters will b perforated
oar kitteh will perforate ur tirez insted
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: madge
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no parkin heer violayters will b perforated
oar kitteh will perforate ur tirez insted
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: madge
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

A woman walks into a bar with a cat on her head…
she goes up to the bartender….
The bartender looks up and says “Where did you get that ape?”
n she sez “i gots it foar sayin congarats to maus foar nawt sekkund!”
The lady says “That’s not an ape, it’s a cat!”
The bartender says “I was TALKING to the cat!”
Congrats on furst comment, Maus!
*** runs and hides from Teho****
*Acting as The Teho Surrogate*
BLEEN!
Thanx, Harry… It’s good to be first… Oops!
*TTS*
BLEEN
An ai wuzn’t heer awl day yesterday. Did Teho doo sumthing??
Not that I know of. Sometimes it is fun to tweak some noses
An Conga Ratz (still nawt waring teh noo costyooms tant cSmall is disigning awun the luvlee braid of Maus, leeza-b and Jimmbo!
Yoo may awl taek a bow! An tehn off to teh TY BOO Teek wif yoo!
An Maus – iffn yoo dont’ want yur bobblol hedded kitthe – ai cud uze another wun. Cuz ai haz awnlee just teh wun, yoo know! An yoo madeded mee sing fur that wun!!
Yoo can haz my boblolhead kitteh. Yoo needs to has 4!
OOO I forgetted to get mine!
**snatches bobblol hed kitteh**
fanks Janet! Itz SEW kyoot!!
**puts up on mantul and admires**
**can’t stop flicking the hed**
*flick*
*flick*
*flick*
*flick*
*flick*
Must av been a kwik wash 4 teh lolspeak
*insert devilish smily here but ai noez nawt how*
Dat be deh : evil : for

Oar deh : twisted : for
Oh krapz!!
deh mrgreen wuz spost 2 b on himz own line!!
Stoopee werdpress!! I make u go sit in korner agin if u don’t behave!!!
.
Oh yeah, u just takez owt deh spaicez by deh kolunz.
.
And the cat replies, that’s no pink monkeh, that’s my hoomin!
**sownd uv applesause and laffter**
We’re heer all week folks!
Okai….ai FINALLY gets to log on dis mornin,and DIS iz wut ai get……bad jokes by Maus ?????
**checks self to make sure she is nawt part Maus**
Er, yeah, wut’s up wif the cormy joke, Maus??
We haven’t done a corny joke call-and-response in a while. I thought you guys might be getting out of practice…
er… that wuz my furst time, Maus. :blush:
Uh oh…leeza….yu seddid teh “f” wurd! To teh nawty barn wif yu!
Gee itz awfullee earley to be going to teh NB… but if I HAZ to…
Ackshully I thot the use of the f werd wuz onlee really pro-, per-, uh, not allowed on the initishul post on a LOL?
So u r nawt supposed to use teh f werd, ever, atall?
Akshulee leeza-b – yoo ar rite!
Yoo CAN uze it. Egg septing wehn refurring to teh taupe spawt, ov corse!
But it haz becom reelle cyoot to see teh peepl uzing teh “nawt second” ebreeware, dont yoo think???
yesh… I sumtimes I do it too, but in the commint above… ‘furst’ seemed more appropreeyat.
and sumtimes, I just don’t feel liek typing that much.
my lazee fingers, let me show u them!
And this makes it different from any other day?
Nope! But why shud it bee different? And ware doo u haz ur lolspeak 2day, young man? *frownz and wunderz*
In the washing machine. Today is laundry day…
LOL!!1!!!!!
LOLndree?
durtee LOLndree @ taht!
*clapping floofly paws togedder*
.
wuht a wai to stat mai day! Fank yoo, teh amazing teem ov Maus an leeza-b!
.
An mai I ask wuht yoo wuld liek fer yur Nawt Sekkund Ty? Danses? Drinkses? A twip to teh Taibo Teak? I herd resentlee dat tehre ar noo Bobblol Hed Kittehs!
I think everyone should go to The Ministry of Silly Walks and present their silliest walk. And perhaps have a couple of Jinnantonix beforehand to help them loosen up…
well, shoot…iffn ai’d nown yoo wanted sillie walks, I wuldnt hab takin mai post-kemo meds! (Sillee Motor Skills ar a possibul side effekt).
.
I’ll pass awn the jinnantonix, sadlee. Gonna haf to stik to moo joos fer teh tiem beink.
MOSW makes me fall off teh sofa LOLing!
I haz fownd that anti-malarial tablets taken before airplane flytes rezult inn xtreem difikultees wif depth purrcef… parcept… tellin how far away the floor iz. Silly walks with luggage in airport concourse, let me show yu it!
O hai Harry. Ai dont bleeve we hav met. Ai am Janet ov teh 4 Kittehs. Haodee3doo!
But hao offen doo yoo taek these antee Marylol tablets befoar flying?? And – shere ar you going?? An wai?
Sorree – teh inkwisitivness – ai suffer frum it!
Enquiring minds want to know !!!
ai agreez! We arez awl enkw … enquee … wanting 2 noes! Cos we arez noesey! *gigglez madly*
O hai JCH4K! Nice to meat yu! I onlee evur dood taht wunce! I wuz goin to Souf Merka menny solar cykuls ago az xchanj stoodint. Nawt second trip on mai own, n I cudn’t walk strate or c strate. Miami airport had me confuzzled kompletely! But everyfing wuz ok – just added a liddle extry eggsightment tu the hole expeeryence!
Az sumwun I knowed yused to say – Iz not bein cureeus, I just wants to knoes!
Dramamine & beer produce an odd effect,also
Hai eeckthecat and upfi! Nyce to meat yu 2 tu!
***bows****
Likewise,Master Harry!
***curt says***
Teh plezooure iz awn may side.
Tawp o’ da marnin 2 awl da cheezpeepz owt dere, inkloodin da noo wunz! Wellkum!
4 ur vyoowin plezzyur, da Minuhstree uv Sillee Wawkz:
youtube.com/watch?v=IqhlQfXUk7w
(*ifn we can haz CHRGs 4 da hed splortz, wat doo we yooz 2 purr-tekt aginst syd-splittin laffs?*)
heer Aahz, let me halp u wif dat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqhlQfXUk7w
I b gittin tyrd uv haow WerdPretzel keapz chaynjin itz mynd bowt haow it wawntz 2 poast doze leenkeez.
Wun day it wawntz da h t t p stuf, n da nekst day it doan…
Mai kornfyoozyun n impayshuntz — let me shoe u dem…
O, n fankee 4 da hepz, leeza-b!
Ur welkum! Don’t worry abowt weirdpress. Maybee it’s just ur turn today.
*whispers*
but all I didded wuz add ‘www.’ to teh front uv wut u had.
fur protektin agenst teh siyd spliten laffs, mai ai humbely porpoise…
teh offishul ICHC TOOB TOP! alwais sold free sizes too smalf.
taht shud be holdin sides an keepin tehm form splitten.
Wut u cheezpeeps tink? we can haz ICHC TOOB TOPS in the tybooteek?
Grate idea, two_kitteh_limit!!!1!! AI can haz 2 or three 2 get started?
Dats a grate ideeya! Ai needz at leest won, mehbe 2 TOOB TOPS maisef.
Sew, 4 eez uv tiepin, kin we yooz CBTT (Cheez Burgr Toob Top)? N mebbe CBTT(w/koi) 4 da wun wif kittehz awn em? Oar CBTT(w/poi) 4 wif pitchurz awn em? Oar 4 da reelee fantsee peepz, CBTT(w/roi) 4 wif rynstoanz awn em?
I yoozdid ‘www.’ b4 n awl I gotted wuz playn tekst. I yoozdid da hole “h t t p : / / 8-setruh” (wifowt spaysiz) b4 n it werkdid fyn.
Den anuvver dai I yoozdid da “h t t p” fing n WerdPretzel eeted mai kawmint.
N yestiddee I did wun wifowt spaysiz n WerdPretzel tookt itz meezlee tym poastin, n da meentym I reepoastid wif spaysiz n WerdPretzel putted n anuvver “h t t p” wifowt spaysiz n givd me uh leenkee.
Da ownlee wun wat seamz 2 werk awl da tym is ifn I putz n uh leenkee 2 wun uv mai LOLz.
Watebbur…
Dear Aajz – nex time yoo ar traing to do this, pleez try to find me!
Ai think maybee ai cud halp!
“clappity clappity”
respeckt my authoritie!!
south park ref ftw!!
fanks Jimmba!
Is we the onlee wuns heer todai?
Gess we can throw owrselves a partee! Wut u feel liek doin?
teh weader in TTI is mizrable tewday so I feel like habbin a naice warm cup ob hawt chokklit wid sum Jagermeister in it, an juz curlin up n goin tew bed, but, alas, ai’m at wurk
hows bowt yew leeza?
hawt chokit- yes
no fankuverymuchanyway!
wif jager?
Chambord mite be nise! Or kahlua.. or anythingbutjager….
We is in a drowt heer, wish u cud send us sum of ur miserabul rainy wether!
but iz delishuz!! if dun proplee ob course. yew needs a nice strong hot chawklitt, and den yew add a shot ob jager, and then top wid wippy creme
de swrrlols can get involbed!!
Meister Mick Jager?
Ai dunno, ai lubz hawt chokklit, but cant abaide Jรคgermeister (sorry, haz 2 putz teh umlauts in, even in lolspeak). Pleh. U can haz awl u wantz! Ai haz a cauffee instead.
MAI ABATAR!!!1!!!! Letz me show u it!
*happi dans happi pranz happi hop hop hop*
dats a kewl abatar Upfi!
Itz teh bery hungry CATerpillar … dat’s me. Thx 4 liking me!
{{{leeza-b}}}
:O ai bemember reedin dat wen ai wus in skewl!!
twas wun ob mai bery fave … vayb … i lubbed it!!
aaah da memoreez
Iz berry kewl & nostal….nistal….berry old skool !!!
My avatar iz boring…..time to find an old “Eek the Cat” piktur or sumfin….
Year! Letz awl get kewl abatars!1!!! Altho ai awlready gotz quiet oozed 2 ur green pic, eeckthecat.
***sigh****
Yesh…iz eezy to spot inna thred,too.
Wud be nice to see sumfin more eggciting,tho.
Yeh, I liekz ur abatar 2, upfi! I’z red Berree Hawngree CAT-urpillow lawtsa tymz 2 mai kidletz, n deyz ebben can haz da beedeeyoh. Wun dai mai liddul gurl caym hoam frum skewl n dere prawjikt dat dai wuz maykin uh sok puppit uv da CAT-urpillow wif sum paypur frootz for himz 2 “eet” thru!
Ai ownlee readz it when ai waz littul, but did nawt make fings. Iz naice 2 noes dat sow many cheezpeeps noes teh book!
Upfi….where duz one hafta go & wut duz one hafta do to change teh avatar ???
*putz on geek hat (with propeller)*
You go to the wordpress.com web site (I don’t know how to do links, but I trust you know you need to add w w w. at the beginning). You need an account there (I used the same user ID I have here and the same mail address. You log in and go to your personal dashboard or account or whatever it says at the top right corner of the screen when you are logged in.
In your account you see your nice green avatar. Above, there is a link (Edit Picture). You click that and then you can upload a picture. When it has uploaded, you can crop / resize it by dragging the dots of the frame that appears). That’s it – for the moment.
Then (and this is the important bit) BEFORE you click your favorite cheezburger link, you must FIRST log in at wordpress.com and THEN come here and play with us. Only if you are logged in at wordpress will your avatar show up here.
Try it! If it doesn’t work, we’ll sort it out tomorrow, ok? I’ll be back!
*takez geek hat off*
Phew! Such a lawng speetch in a forayn lankwitch!
Fanks….u iz berry thorough….ai lieks dat inna catterpiller !!!
Hey!!! A liddul fren foar mi!!! (Can yew sii teh happee Ai has?)
*flits to upfi*
Yore legz ar nawt sew stick-liek, but yew haz teh mutch covetid lawng-waystidness!!! Bravo, hongree cat-urpillow!!!
Hey, wii shud haev a piknik:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr8vUTm64h0
Eveann haz teh fyrmens!!!
Ohai, sweetmotherofmars!1!!! Hao lubly 2 C u! Yes, u r mai littul frend and ai’ll bee yoors. Cannaught go 2 utoob nao, but will do so l8er. Picnic wif fyrmens soundz marfe …. marveli … wunnerful!!1! But nawt here, plz, weaffer iz cold and naught naice and rainz awl day.
*wishes warmer weather to upfi*
Congratumalashuns on gettin yur abatar Upfi Ai’ve jus sined up 2 wurdpress 2 see iffn Ai cn get mine 2 wurk.
Yeah, u goez and doez dat! It wazn’t sow difikult, Tidmum haelped me.
*waves 2 Tidmum in anutha thred*
hay, it changed!
did teh CATerpillur eet teh border?
Ai fink so. It IZ bery hongry, dis CAT err pillower. Ai can hearz itz stomeck rumble.
CONGA RATS, annipuss, awn ur nju abatar! It lookz bejoootimus!!!!1!!
fashun police kitteh shreds yoar anorak!
ar it stacy cat on what not to wear?
*snerk*
i lol’d
Please tear along the perforated line and return the stub with your fine payment.
ZOMBIE KITTEHS!!!! O_O
i told youse they were gonna eat our brains….
BRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNS!
yeah! nobode park heer!
Tooncez t3h Drybeeng
Instruckkturr iz nawt pleezd wiff
paralell pawrkeeng
Paralell pawrkeeng iz
nawt datz hawrd! Espesshillee
awnz an emptee street
Prittee Wun muss tryz
aginn! Awllso getz Toonces
summplayss nyss andz dry!
Jack.
Tooncez iz a tuff instrukter!
Watt a lubbly fer hat. Itt mus tikkul hur, cuz sheez laffing. Ai uzed tu hab a simler fer skarf (himz naem wuz Bonkers – - Itsa Bonko fer, wit teh Bonko stil insied! Ony $19.95. I mis himz, himz gon along tiem nao.)
{{{{{marymary}}}}}
Sorry 2 hear aboot Bonkers … ai understandz u haz a sad.
Fank u. Wuts wurs iz dat Ai got lerjic tu kittehs wen Ai haz mai dawter, sew cudn’t get more kittehs. Ai m gedding shawts nao fur teh lerjicness (2x a weak, adn dey brooz mai armz), sew mehbee Ai kin get teh kittehs in nawt tu much lonker (6 monts tu a yeer).
Ai iz awlso lerjic 2 kittehs so ai dunt haz wun. But ai lubz dem. Iz grate sacree …. sacker …. grate fing u do ebbery week so mabbeh u can haz kitteh again! Ai haz gotz shawts 4 mai hey febber and it tookz a lawng tyme, but it wurked and nao ai dont sneezez so much. So ai iz op teamy stick 4 u!
Ai keapz mai feengurs X’d. BTW, Ai lub ur abatar, adn da hongree kattapiller. I uzed tu reed it awl teh tyme tu mai dawter. She lubbed it tu.
Try a Meezer cat. Tehy are hypoalur- hypp – tehy are less allurgy cawsing tehn uther kittehs, n tehy hardly shed atall. Plus also tehy are funnee an tehr bloo eies luk so wunderful. (Mine is a seelpoint, teh points are teh colur of reely good dark choklit.) An tehy tawk so cyoot.
Or mebee a hairless sphynx cat, iffs u doan mind taekin care ov their skin. Frum wat I’ve seen at cat shows, dey seem to hab lots and lots ov purrsonality.
Wowsers; Kitteh Meter-Maid; tehms geyts rlly dyligint iyn owr towne, adn gibbs paurkyng tikkits aowt lef & rite: butt tihs bees carrieyng vyolashun huntyng tuu teh xtreem!!!!
(Iyf tehms kan ebber reemuuve KMM frum ladee’s hed, Ai doan fink her wil ebber paurk tehre agen….!!!)
“but is clost to teh dor! but luk, ai has hannicap stikr! OKAY, FINE ai givs up!!”
Jings! In Sobiet Rush-hour, Kitteh Meter Made haz y00…
In Sobiet R00sha, kitteh haz y00!
Ooops! OMG, wut be happening hear? Duplicat…duplicash… Doubling the effertz. Methinks teh lolparrot haz pressded sumfing an I nots notising. Teh lolparrot bees bery bad an cunnin. Nao iz nommimg mah t-shurt.
Gud Russhin reversal – also I like yur lolparrot’s avatar. *teehee*
morn peeps and congorats maus! but im celebrating because im finnally out ob duniway elementary school for good! (bloons fly up and i run around hugging ebbreeboddy)
P.S. ima pesimist.
Skools owt furebber! (Ai no yur too yung tu no dat song butt itz a gudder fur dis tyme of yeer!)
what song?
School’s out by ALice Cooper!
in lolspeak: skools owt 4 summa! skools owt furebber! bai Alish Kupa!
I lub dat song!
Congrats Shadow!
Congaratz Shadow!!!!
Heer, choklit bloons tew sillybrate!!
i must meditate.
can one of yu peeps pop on over to “cute overload” and see if the site is not working? I was looking at it not half an hour ago, but when I try to access it now I just get a blank screen…
Seemz 2 bee slolths on site… Bery slow.
i just went on not slow for me butt mayby cause i got comcast high speed internet.
is nawt slo, is non-existent.
meebe is teho’s nawt vry subtle wai of sain mai comments r out of line??
(kidding)
it r .net not .com
iz al betr nao!!
Yay! Yoo can haz a happie!
im going to my happy place and im taking you all with me. (portal opens up shoots us all to a rock and sand filled landscape with terrible sandstorms and no plant, human, or animal life then portal closes.)
*Lukz arownd.*
Hay!! wutz wif awl dis sand?
*Sand in shuuz, sand in pokkitz. Sand in eerholez. Sand in noze.*
.
Uumm….
I not liking deis rock adn sand landskape wif sadnstormz. Kin I b habbing a liddul spring shower? adn sum cool streemz?
Tihs remindz me ov a loljoke: French Foreign Legionnaire comes across lady buried up to her neck in the desert, because she has been caught with another lady’s hubkitteh. FFL, “If I dig you out, oh lubberly lady of the desert, wut’s in it 4 me?”
“Sand”.
Tee hee.
Iz yoo an Komolol Dragoon, l’il shadow? Beem me up, Scootie!
Ah bee trying 2 see if mah abatar wurks…
No. Stoopy fing.
2 compl…complish… difikult 4 a bare of bery likkle brane… Halp!
Yay! Teh abatar iz wurking! Mirabile factu… Let me introd00s our lolcat, GIZMO, yay!!!! He comed 2 us wid teh lolname Gizmo, frum resku peeps. Ah tryed 2 change it 2 “Cosimo” ~ tihs m00r up-markety; butt Gizmo no liking it. Sumtimes he iz “Jengis Kat” ~ all kittehs got 2 haz 2 names…
3 akshully, but they never tell teh third wun. Its an ineffibul sekret.
cyute tuxie!!!
dun worry, littul poohbear3931!
{{{{poohbear3931}}}}}
Ai wroat an instruckshun further up teh thred, pleaz haz a look. Ai’ll bee back to halp too more oh. Kthxbai.
Thx upfi! Iz wourking noa, butt ah doan quite knoa why… Iz misteriass!
*nodz head*
U say it, brutha poohbear3931, u say it. Teh misteriassness of compjooting, let me show u it!
ebbreebboddee check out my profile. http://mine.icanhaschheezburger.com/pictures-by-shadows/
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-shadows/
I NOES WHUT V-E-T SPELLS AN WE R NOT GOIN!!
bye.
Kitteh demonstrates Vulcan Mind-Meld
oh hai ebryone,
sry 2 inerrup, but molly teh kitteh in germany needz ur halp. ai dunno fur shur ib iz joek or prankz or whateber, but iz only needz 500,000 views 2 saiv molly from erlee daet wif Ceiling Cat. so engrish translashun of websiet iz heer (fanks 2 google):
http://www.google.com/translate?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.helft-molly.de.vu%2F&hl=en&ie=UTF8&sl=de&sl=es&tl=en&tl=en
pleeze to halp ib pawsible, only needz ur many clicks, and pleeze to spread teh werd ebrywere. kfanksbai!
I luked on Snopes.com and didn’t see it listed as a hoax. Still cud b, but it onlee taeks a click. Even if iz a hoax…habn’t lost much. I did it.
fanks romeow!
ai wuz hoapin fur moar respawnzes frum heer, but ebry liddle bid kawns. ib u nawt mind, how cud ai pawblisize tihs apeel awn ICHC, sew it wiil be reech awt 2 moar kitteh lurvers? fanksbai!
Parkers, partikyoolarlii nosii wuns, wil bii prosiikutud. BARKERS wil bii perfuratid. Permunentlii.
Ooh, we haz bran noo law in dis county dat sez barkers will be prosamakyooted. (Akshully it sez teh owners will, but yu gets teh idea.)
Sum peeps bees not happi becuz nuffin wuz sed about teh kittehs. Rly!! But ai has nebber hurd a kitteh bark.
Hmph.
/naycher channel narrator voice/
Teh kittehs az we all no ar larj feerce skary predators. They wait pashuntly for many ours on tree lim overhed. Then wen unsuspeckting tasty lookin prey walks unsuspecktingly under their hiding place where they are sekretly lerking, they attack wif litening kwick speed…
POUNCE!
and NOM!!!
\naycher channel narrater voice off\
Oh yes! Iz eben better in Hi Def!
And nao the obbyes…
‘We cantz park hear! Its cat countree!’
Tew t00n ob MC Hampster…
dew dew dew do…
“Kant park tehre”
caution: NOT decLawed!!!
bwahahaahahhaahahahah
orangey eveiL kitteh surprise
OOOO!! WannaSmile!! Owie! That hurtz just thinking ov it!!
O Hai!
Iz nu to ICHC, lolspeak not yet perfick, plz be havin paishence wit meh!!
Meh thinx ketteh sayin “Nooo, cagools not fashnable no more!!!”
yeah, no popin wif teh claws!! yur hep jus hurts!
Adn leevz teh skarz. NOT WANT!!!
welcum, teh cats mutha! ur lolspeek iz gud- this iz a flexable langwidge!
hav fun!
Hi TCM! All lolspeek is perfik so long as its in good hyoomur. Onlee rool is: play nise! Welcum!
Oh hai The Cats Mutha!
Welcum to our Burger Whirled! Doan wurry about ur lolspeak – iz gud already. Juss relax, joyne in, and hab a gud tiem! We lub to hab noo peeps maekin comments!
{{{{{The Cats Mutha}}}}}