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picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Dan Robinson
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
* Maus enters, riding on Petunia. He is in full The Mouse King costume *
* Petunia is wearing an I ♥ JCH4K shirt and a Geek Hat (with Propeller) *
* The hat is fitted with two dongles, one red and one grey *
* She is pulling a wagon carrying a huge Schwärzwalder Kirschtorte *
Hello CheezFrenz! In honor of this special day, we bring you this very special birthday greeting.
* The dongles begin to glow and blink, and Petunia begins to speak *
Ha-pee Birf-dae, Ja-net. We loves yoo. The sk-wrillz an I mae-ded yoo a caek…
* The top of the cake pops open *
* Cmdr Data, Lord Evelyn, Sir Real, Wyatt Earf and Professor pop up *
Hi! We’re the DID Five, and we have a song for Janet!
* They begin to sing, in five-part harmony *
♫♫♫
Zum Geburtstag viel Glück,
Zum Geburtstag viel Glück,
Zum Geburtstag, liebe Janet,
Zum Geburtstag viel Glück.
♫♫♫
Happy Birthday, Janet, and many happy returns of the day!
CHEEZFRENZ! LET THE FESTIVITIES BEGIN!
Eye noe dat sum mai jump teh gunn
Olimpix yur - eetz awfun dun.
Butt wii doan ‘red flagg’ nowboddee
Cuz Cheezland meenz eek wally T
Wii eben treet Trollz pay shuntlee
Affur awl wii awl kan kum heer frii.
But - Purrhapz wii myt taek breef respyte
frum cheirin sellybrayshunz
2 cawl awl frenz @ awl wurlz endz
frum awl teh cheezpeeps nashunz,
an sai az wun, een awl gud funn
B 4 teh nommz an drynkinz dun
An wii pass owt, pass wynd oar pass r limitashunz,
Taht 2dai am teh speshul dai
2 danz an singz an nomm gud fingz.
Sew awl teh happee cheezfrenz hoo
sew lub owur Jannit thru an thru
kan sho der happitaylz az wii plai
an sew wii shud, an well wii mai.
4 Jannit am r burfdai gurl
an cheezfrenz frum arown teh whirld
haz joynd us heer wif kittehz 2
2 tell r Jannit wii lubz yew!!
Kuz heer amung dese lubbin peeps
derz wun hoom in r hartz wii keipz
Sew cheezfrenz awl arown teh plannit
can awl joyn pawz in noebull cawz
B kuz wii haz 2 syng ov corz,
adn lowdur dan wii ebber eeben fort wii cud B forz:
………..*drammatik pores*…………
.
A Happee burfdai, Jannit!!
tHEY SaYIT’S yur BirTHdAY??!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJFEyjfoTuM&feature=related
yikesiee, Janets, i duzn’t no if ur old enuf to see dat vershun!!^
*viewer diskreshun advised, cuz nawt everywun in this vidyo used thems discreshun*
LOL!! “Metropolis” FTW!!!!
Old enuf??? ai wuz an egg sta innit! ROFL!!
{{{{{{{{{{JCH4K}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
*looks relieved Janet likes it- dat wuz a riskay selekshun*
M’lady.
*gathers up silky skirts in emerald green worn to honor JCH4K- i duzn’t get dis dressed up fur jest enybodee, ya no*
.
*deep curtsey praktissed for hours in front of mirror, some of wich got borked in teh process*
“You are the reigning Monarch, and you rule in gentleness and kindness.
Here is an humble offering for you.”
*opens lovely preColumbiandekorated box revealing jewel encrusted tiara from the Inka Empire*
Wear it in good health.
Long live Janet!!
An - ai am waring emerald green az well! LOL! Itz akchulee mai Bachelolr’s recitar drss - wif teh dropt princess wayst lion an teh liddle train!
an this tiara *triaes it awn - luks in mirror*
An cannot stop herself frum singing teh “Jewel Song” from FAUST!
(tho ai donut luk laik Anna Netrebko! LOL!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OJVar_9WbE&feature=related
But she’s waring a tiara!!!
hao deed yew git dat fru kustumz???
aww………….hiddun in teh mantequilla??
shhhhhhhh.
.
don’t tell.
.
I had to get Indiana Jones to help me “acquire” it.
An swoowpin daon frum teh clowds….
am it teh playn? Naw!!
am it Stupurman? Naww!!!1
Kud it B Juj Dridd????
Naw!!
Iss Gibbocat dresst up in teh shyknee blik levvur soot awn teh ‘borroed’ Hovvur byk!!1
But eye did pawlish it an skraep awl teh seegull poop awf teh saddul!!
.
Snachin teh slyz ov chawklit kaek an skatturin cweenmj’s bubbulz in teh clowd ov konfettsi.
.
Um… nommm nommm
‘Hi Jannit! *nomm nomm* Gud kaek!!!1
Wonna kum 4 teh burfdai ryd??
Jumpawn!!
An awai wii goze!!1′
Vroooom vrume!!!!……………………………………
an VROOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
Diz riilee am gud kaek!!!1
*jumps awn* WHEEEEEEE!!!
*holdz awn to gibbocat wif wun hand an teh tiara wif teh odder*
an ai’d far rather it be gibbocat tahn juj Dridd ene ole day!! Hao far ar wee going to go??
An luk - teher iz cweenmj in her bubblol!! HAI CWEEN MJ!!! An ai think ai sees Kafleen teh DawnKey zooming ober the hed ov teh crowd over there!!
An booklion iz buzzing teh crowd az well! SOOO menee flying thingz today!
HOOOO cud EBER hav imajneded such a birfday partee????
*wavez az Janet and gibbo race bai*
hai cweenmj!!
Nyz owtfyt!!1
Nyz bubbulz 2!!1
eef yew liek wii kan juss serkul abuv teh fud taybulz - az dat am wer teh mowzt cheexfrenz am. sew yew kan bloe dem kissis an sush.
Hang awn
swoopin loe owvur JCH4K Bvd an buzzin teh JCH4K stachew……
Zoooommmittty zoooommm zooommmm!!!
Idans releeses levver on bubblol masheen sending up bazillionz of popping bubblols wif cweenfetti,uniqe corns, sparklee dots an liddle flying skwirls in pair a shoots to entertane Janet an Gibbo as tehy fly overhed…..
*Booklion soars in, riding the shoulders of the great winged lion of Babylon. The *lion lands lightly in front of JCH4K, and kneels to do her honor. Booklion jumps *down, kneels to Janet — she is too in awe of JCH4K to dare to hug — and hands *her a gift from the courts of King Nebuchadnezzar, somwhat warped by the *passage through the space-time continunumumum.
Happy Birthday, Janet!
A gift for you: a pair of lapis earrings, carved in the shape of lions sitting up in sentinal position, to protect you from all harm.
See the little turquoise blue eyes? They are looking out for your welfare. See the ivory pointy ends on the paws? They are ready to leap to your defense, should you ever need it. See the little gold collars? When all is well, they become musical instruments that play while the lions shake their manes out, get on their hind paws, and belt out show tunes for your pleasure. They are particularly partial to singing “Hair”, but can be trained to sing songs from other shows…”The Lion KIng” is a little too obvious for them, (snobs) but they do like “The King and I”.
Happy, happy day, Janet. You bless us all with the warmth and love you bring to ICHC. Thank you.
{{{{{Booklion}}}}} Hao did yoo know taht ai ar so fond ov lapis??? Thank yoo so much.
An ai LUV it taht they can sing “Hair.” Fur sum reeson, teh air shimmers in gold tones wehn ai heer “Hair.” Ai will ware them awlwaiz! And am so tuched taht yoo wud give such a spendid prezent to mee.
Oh, Janet, I am soooooo glad yu lykes tem. Tey will tayke sgud care ov you. And you can sing Alyce’s Restaurant in tree-part harmonee on Tanksgibbing, too!
(My hippie past, let me show you it)
Ohai, ebberywun! iz ai tew layt foar Janetz birfday?
Neow, N1IP, cors nawt…lastez awll dai!
ps: we mist u, kewty pi.
Oh noes, I are late agin…**hands JCH4K big bow-kay of dayzeez** Happy Birfday, darlin Janet….we all stand in awe (everyone??? Awwwwwww…) of yur kindness, yur humor, yur….well, yur everything!!!!
Awwww
CLOL - thank yoo fur teh byootiful dayzeez. *splish splish splahs*
There! Ai am putting tehm in mai prettee Gmnundner ceramik vase - wif teh “Streublumnen” pattern. See? Luk hao prettee tehy luk there. So summeree!!!
*skreeeeeeeech!*
*falls owt ov teh church van*
Ohai, Janet! Heerz a prezzint foar yu!
*handz Janet a bokay ov fyurminz*
ai hoeps yu lykez it!
Maus, wut happened to you???
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1292756
Fanks fer the picshoor JMK!
trewlee teh mausss dat rord!!1
Hey Janet, just found summting I tink you like. (I’m not making this up) chocklit covered gummi bears.
Nice caek!
**luks askanse at Maus**
**runs back to Teh Cliffs to do a kwik tayle cownt on the skwirrlz**
Hmmmm.. I cudda swore I had elebenty of these before…..
It’s O-K, Aunt Lee-za. Teh sk-wirllz ma-ded teh ice-ings. It wuz teh fun…
Happeh Birfday Janet!
*enter 4point5kittehs adn her 4.5 kittehs. Teh .5 tuxie kitteh iz waring a naypron n balinsing a chokklit caek wif razzberree filling on hims bak.
Teh 4 kittehs – 2 meezers, 1 big whiet n 1 callyko – am holding a banner aloft wif dems tayles. It reedes:
HAPPIEST OB BIRFDAIS
TO OWN DEER FREN N RAINING MONARK
JANETCANHAS4KITTEHS
Lolm Wilkinson strides to center stage, in full Jean Valjean regalia, with the addition of an “I ♥ JCH4K” button in his lapel.
.
He sings:
.
She stocks teh CCC.
She taught us how to dance!
This marvel we has found
This gal is elegance!
.
Why should we give her praise?
Why should we sing this song?
Then treat her at teh bar
And fête her all day long?
.
Our Janet, we lubs her hard
If we may say so, she’s a staaaaaaaaar!
.
She is the darling of hunnerts of Cheezfrenz.
They all flock to her.
She is teh soul of us
How would we live
Without her esprit?
.
Our Janet, we lubs her hard
If we may say so, she’s a staaaaaaaaar!
.
Who is she?
She handles trolls with calm and dignity
Pretends she does not see their enmity
She’s eloquent, she exudes grace
She adds enchantment to this place
Who is she?
.
We can’t conceal teh fact that we adore
A dame who is teh bomb and a lot moar.
And evry time she sez “O hai”
We smile and sigh a happy sigh
That’s no lie.
.
How can we express our grate lubs for her?
Perhaps with a ginormous cheezburger.
Our hearts belong to her, u know
Her name’s on all teh street signs, oh!
She gave to us teh Nawty Barn
She gives us cause to party on.
.
Who is she? Who is she?
She’s our Ja-net!
.
And so Janet, u see itz tru
That we love no one moar than u!
Who is she?
JCH4K…………!
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PXZ1nLiUZo
.
*Lolm Wilkinson beckons for Janet to join him in teh spotlight, gives her a big smooch on teh cheek, presents her wif a bookay of roses and a 16-ounce mokka wif extry spresso, tosses “I ♥ JCH4K” buttons to teh cheering crowd.*
.
Happy birfday, Janet! I hope u don’t mind that I didn’t sing ur song myself. Lolm was happy to do it, since he knowed teh tune and had his costume alreddy reddy alreddy. Besides, u know that I woulda gived u a “I ♥ JCH4K” button and tossed 16-ounce mokka wif extry spresso onto teh crowd.
.
Lubs and snorgles from LCB, Esme, Liam and teh boyfrent in teh car wif teh winders open.
LCB….dat left me breafless!! How perfikt!
Does u need a fireman to gives u mouf-to-mouf?
I wanted to does something theatreacle for Janet but I don’t know nothing bout birthin’ no operas. Still, I tried to think of a stage-y song whare I could work in “JCH4K” and I immediately flashed on “24601″. I writed this yesterday and then this morning I was worrying that it might be unappropriate for whatever reason. Then I rembered that Jean Valjean was vry noble and kind and vry much lubbed, like our Janet. I also rembered that in his early days he had gotten in trubble for taking a lofe of bred outside to see whut it looked like in teh lite. So mabye someday I will become noble and kind and much lubbed, just like our Janet!
*Bites fingernails nervissly, waiting to see whut Janet thunk. Realizes I’m biting CLOL’s fingernails. Keeps biting them anyways.*
impressive, very impressive.
Yippee - it cayk for Janet!!
Liebste Janet, alles gute zum Geburtstag und viel Gesundheit!!!
Teh company from Beyreuth wuld liek to sing yoo a sawng, in manee manee part harmonee:
Happy Birfdai to yoo!
Happy Birfdai to yoo!
Happy Birfdai deerest Janet……….
Happy Birfdai to yoo!
*wearing her ball gown frum teh Wiener Opern Ball, PB2K sweeps into teh room wif awl teh regalness she can muster, wile teetering awn high heel shoos
*de gown iz a regal deep purpul, strapless, wif a full, ankle-length circle skirt wif taffeta overlay, jes purrfekt fer teh spinny vieneese valtzeses
*wuht hares are left awn her hed ar dun up in a loose, lubberly set of curls taht fall sawftlee arownd her face
*carrying a large gathering basket full ov teh bestest Meeeshigum froots an veggies an a whole seleshun ov Mackinac Island fudges
*sets teh basket awn teh giftie tabul, making shur nobodee (but me!) nibbuls awn teh fresh-pikked-dis-mornin storeberries
*presents Janet wif a big bouquet ov wild flowers, fresh pikked frum teh bestest feelds between her hows an mine
manee kisses and schmoos and schnorgels an hugs from mai 2 kittehs to yoo!!
Alzo, I haz arranged fer teh shirtless lawnmowing guys (SLGs) to kum mow yur fields todai. An fer teh rest ov teh summer, so yoo can sit awn yur porch an enjoi teh view, wile habing gud drinkees!!!
Much much cheezlubs an hugs an fun frum me tew yoo!
Lub,
PB2K
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1289423
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
An enormous chocolate cake in the shape and size of “The Edifice Formerly Known As The Roman Coliseum” appears on the grounds. It is now known as “JCH4K Stadium and Racetrack”.
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Alla peepz sittin in teh seatz, very comfy and relaxed, sipping cold chawklit drinkz an eetin chawklit chipz cookiez. Teh smell ov BBQ is wafting thru the air.
In marches “The President’s Own Combined Armed Forces Bands, Orchestras and Choruses”, in full uniform and each with a small replica of JCH4K Stadium as a hat, with candles i i i i i i i i i .
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
They are playing and singing thusly:
♫ ♫ ♫
♫ ♫ ♫HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! ♫ ♫ ♫
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JAAA-NET!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♫ ♫ ♫
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Now appears a troupe of flying Pegasi, wheeling and soaring in the sky. They form the letters:
WE LOVE YOU JANET in the sky, and continue with an aerial ballet and barnstorming the like of which has never been seen, and will not again be seen this side of Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony.
Happee birfdai deer Janet, an mennee happee returnz!
*Haulz in (wif a Pegasus’ help) 10 feet of lyriope, an sum lurvelee dayliliez in bloom.*
The Nekkid Lawnmower Guy will plant these for u, Dame Janet!
It’s a kitteh burfdai cayke!
luks more lyke a wedding cake
manee tiered
and white
made wid monotonically decreasing alternate kittehs
nyz wun cheez n tofu!!! yay 4 dem!! 4 owur jannit!!
Cheez an Tofu, fankz fer caek!!!
But we still has creeative lisenses availabul.
♫ HAPPY BIRFDAI JANET!! >♫
*****flies ovur on a majick slay pulled by eight tinee flying skwirrls******
**Pulls out gifty box wif speshul present inside and hands to Janet**
** Janet rips off the paper wif breffless antisipashun **
Itz a byootemous glass globe, hand blown, which Janet can luk into and see awl uv her Cheezfrends, anytime she wants!!
It’s verry sparklee and shinee and she can see majical glowee happy thoughts floting arownd insied.
It’s sorta like a Pensieve… but bettur!! Coz we are awl innit!!
I hoaps u like it..!!
{{{{{JCH4K}}}}}
yeah, cuz it be reeley krowdid in here !! *ooof….muve over, will ya**
Hay, look over here in teh corner of teh, um, globe. Looks like this useta be a Magic 8 Ball before it got upgraded!
Will we all has happy hangovers tomorry?
*All signs point to “yes”*
4 JCH4K eye bring
Haikus from Jack
A hunnert dollur towl
Possums, chocolate
Parfaits
Elebinty bazillion burgers 4 u
Bucket, not blu
Icy cream 4 cake
Ride on Petunia
Fyreman
Dots……….lotsa………. dem
Appul martoonies
YNG to do ur bidding
JCH4K!!!!
Hopes u has a grate day!
Hoppy Birdie, Janet!!!!! Letz Parti!!!
White lair cake iz gratre!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM THE BEEEEEEEEEEETLOLS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glNjsOHiBYs&feature=related
Happee Burfdai Janet! An mennee moar!
Haz a wunnerful dai!
Happy birfdai Janet
I brot U cheezcake made wif greek yogurt and topped it wid strawberriez
nootrishus and delishus
Heer comes teh liddel red waggin payntid bloo.. bein pulled by 47 chikkin gurlz. Teh Peroobian flutterbyez R now forming *Happy Birfdai Janet* in knee-on jooltone culers. Teh chikkin gurlz haz wurked obertime to Cree ate a lyfesize stachoo of owr birfdai gurl,in shaydes of brown, bloo an white. (Ezmerelda, Dot an Henrietta R tempo rarely recubbering in the Princess mu medow frum habbing outdun tehmselvs in egg produck shun..) On teh stage iz a speshul bubbel masheen, puffing owt bubbels creatid in teh lab of P’dB (hoo iz NAWT a spy.) Az teh bubbels rize an *pop* tehy sprinkel teh crowd wif sparkleez, cweenfetti, iycee creem dots an mini ewe kneecorms an donkees….idans iz frowing no melt birfdai cake shapt choklit, goldin crowns, an 6 kinze ov candy mices to the parti goerz..
* Sings lowdlee an off key—
“Hoppy Birdie two ewes…Hoppy Birdie two ewes.. Hoppy Birdie deer Janet… Hoppy Birdie two ewes…*
.
.
.An manee mooooore!!!