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today teh scratchin post…


cat

today teh scratchin post… …tomorrow… …prolly scratchin post agin

u must approv of dis post.

picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: munchkin

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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

 
  1. Well, scratch that, then.

    • Maus says:

      Conga rats, LCB, fer steelin teh FFL posishun. Luks liek we has a five-way tye…

      • Wow, and I just peeked in before my class. U guise party on wifout me for a while, I has a group of catburglar wannabees to train this morning.

        But can I just mention that the new carpets they is putting in teh hallway in mah condo bilding is teh same patteren as teh fugly one on teh scratching post? Pleh!

        • Phillipe d'Beaker says:

          nawt to wurry, LCB. teh carpets they are installing are photoshopped — we has it awn the best awthority further down the thred (a gen-u-wine photoshop troll, ai thinks not wearing a mask or anything).
          So, if they puts photoshopped fugly carpeting in your condo, that means that the fugly is nawt real fugly, so yew donut has to wurry.
          kthxbai

          • gibbocat says:

            an mebbeh yew can tweek teh color skeem frum yur lappytawp an haf teh noo cawpit eberee dai??

            • Oooh! That would be teh fun! I can hear mah naybors now:

              “Hunny? Teh hallway carpet is made outta flames / lava / choklit / trolls / pink floofy fur / grass / pad thai. Halp!”

      • mary O'Spockn says:

        izzit too erlee fur Ty fuds?

        • zauberflote says:

          MaryO’, u eetz awl teh Ty fudz u wantz, I gonna stikk wif teh chawklit caek-baekin. Duzz chawklit enter Ty fud repertwahr?

          • zauberflote says:

            Coz tehn wii cud be hazzing

            A…

            B…

            Chawklit lemongrass soop

          • mary O'Spockn says:

            chawklit goze in any repertwahr.

            • zauberflote says:

              Ok den, u naemz teh Ty fidz, an I maekz em chawklitifyded, k?

              • zauberflote says:

                Ty fidz, :oops: I nawt meenin Triffidz!! Ty Fuudz iz moar liek wut I meenz!

                • mary O'Spockn says:

                  okay, i aer bak nao. how bout we have the choklits on teh side? Dat way we can has spearmints wif out az muches risk ob ruwinin the Ty fuds oar teh chonklits?

                • Lovecat says:

                  o i dunno, choklit trifids cud be nex big fing in cannapays?

                  • MomCatAnna says:

                    Deres allays deh unoosuel forms ub choklit. Like mole (say it mole-ay) sauce is chokolit n’ peppur BBQ soss made bi my Meksican babysitter. Its very nummy on chikun or beest.

                  • gibbocat says:

                    Chawklit myz!!!! teh cannapays am kummin!!
                    geddin teh…….. whutebbur yew can fynd!!!!11

                    • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

                      8) LOL!! Skawtish chawlkit myz???

                      The Canapays am kummin Ho-Ro, Ho-Ro!
                      The Canapays am kummin Ho-Ro, Ho-Ro!
                      The Canapays am kummin to bonnie Lochleven
                      The Canapays am kummin Ho-Ro, Ho-Ro!

        • leeza-b says:

          oo I wud lurve sum Pawd Ty!
          but wud never turn down choklit caek eether!

        • luvscatsVA says:

          Lubs Ty fuds- but mebbe notsomuch wif chawklit… duck curry, lad na, yummy stuffs dontmembernamez..

          • leeza-b says:

            Dats why I alwais gets pawd ty….
            Plus I is a big ole wimp abowt my fuds bein too hawt.
            A littul hawt is ok…. but not nookleeur. I saves that for teh skwirrlz.

      • zauberflote says:

        Ohai awl an congaratz!!! U haz a makramay, merememeber? Sew, cmawn down tew Krissy’s! Maus, I iz hired a new woman, sayz she’z 3 hunnert yrz old, Voudon frum N’awlyunz, an she sayz she kan hep wif ur hare challinjez :!:

    • lolnascar says:

      lcb gets teh top spot
      :-D

      • Thx for saying “gets” and not “steels.” It were a flook today, nothing moar.

        • leeza-b says:

          U needs to be carefuls abowt the flooks LCB!
          They is not sew grate, ackshully!
          Speshully in yr livur. Pleh.

          • O, ok. I’ll watch out for those then.

            BTW, Esme went in this morning for her 2nd round of chemo. I dropped her off around 8. After my class I had a voicemail from teh oncologist saying they found another growth on her that looks malignant. Sigh. I’m playing voicemail tag wif Dr. Tinycat rite now but it sounded like they would probably do a wait-and-see and change her to a different chemo cocktail. Poor Esme. We can use everyone’s good thoughts, ‘k?

            Trolls are excused, of course, because they have more important things to be annoyed about than this.

            • leeza-b says:

              So sowry to heer that LCB!
              Hoap they found it early enuf, and I guess it’s good she’s alreddy having the chemo?
              Weezy is at teh vet todai to but not fur anything as pleh as that. Still following up on the UTI..she refoosed to pee in teh speshul pellets they givved me so now she is sentenced to kitteh jail at the vets until she pees. She mite be there for a while. I wish I cud hold it as long as she does. :roll:

              Please let us know what u finds out about yr Esme!! I has crossed fingurs toeses and eyes.

            • eeckthecat says:

              {{{{{ Esme}}}}}}

            • gremlin says:

              Aw, LCB – I haz awl mah pawz croxxed fur yoo an deer Esme!

            • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

              Ai too am crossing ebreething ai can find to cross fur yoo an Esme!

              {{{{LBC}}}} {{{{Esme}}}

            • altosinger says:

              Ai’m prayin foar Esme, LCB—ai haz a sad juss finkin bowt herz beein sik. Iz teh pleh. {{{{{{{{{{LCB an Esme}}}}}}}}}}

  2. mary O'Spockn says:

    …nah, the sofa.

  3. Maus says:

    … teh fugly armchare …

  4. leeza-b says:

    gotta keep teh pointee endz reddy!

    • 4point5kittehs says:

      Hey missee, hao r u todai? Hao iz teh pleh wurk?

      • leeza-b says:

        ohai! werk is…. werk.
        I is verrie behindy… u know how it iz. When you’re gone on vaca.. everrywun makes shure to save ur werks for yoo, so yoo will no how much they miss u. :roll:
        how r things in VLC?

        • 4point5kittehs says:

          Hmmmm, WP eeted mai reply?

          Ai sedded taht fings R gud, n dat wii habbing a gud skankal, wif top-sekrit documints adn sex adn a byker gang!

          Moar funner tahn teh boring Demokrat pry-merries!

  5. lolnascar says:

    In soviet russia, the post scratches YOU!

  6. eeckthecat says:

    Hmmmm…but teh leather armchair luks liek it need sum skratchin,too!

  7. lolnascar says:

    howse cleening skills, i no has dem

  8. rodney dill says:

    Bablyonian kitteh works on Tower of Babel to reach Ceiling Cat.

  9. eeckthecat says:

    A moment uv silence,pleez,for teh Red Wingz….who were 34 seconds frum viktory last nite but lost in teh 3rd overtyme……
    Mai droopy eyelids,ai will shows u them!

  10. Onion says:

    I can has Photoshops?

  11. raingod says:

    Halp! I can’t get down, gets teh firezmen!

  12. lolllllllllolololol says:

    Really? ICHC is funny, but how annoying to have a fanbase that can’t break character and talk like actual people.

    • tidmum says:

      we tawk lyk dis cuz iz fun.
      Lolspeak iz ops..osph.. nawt a neccessary condisshun.

    • Ability to unclench and have fun disabled
      Busted shoelaces
      Chocolate shortage
      Dongles damaged
      Earworms from hell
      Frivolous complaints ignored
      Guests that won’t take a hint and leave already
      Hot dogs with no mustard
      Indigestion caused by excess bile in system (see A)
      Jungle gym covered in rotten fruit
      Kisses not sweeter than wine
      Lunch postponed until after dinner
      Mystery novel ending spoiled by thoughtless clod
      N…

      • (This is a list of things more annoying than what teh OP said.)

      • 4point5kittehs says:

        No chocolate (see C)
        Out of chocolate (see C)
        Pepperoni pizza when one is a vegetarian
        Q…

        • eeckthecat says:

          Questionable fud at buffets……
          Reely stoopy peepl…..
          Sittin arownd waitin fur sumbudde….
          T…….

        • mary O'Spockn says:

          quick to anger, slow to listen personalitee
          rekwest for tax rekords for the last elebenty yrs
          television
          umpteen annoying phone cawls interruptin ICHC time
          v…

          • gremlin says:

            vicunas in a bad mood
            water buffaloez in an even wurse mood
            xylophones used as weppons
            yello-bellied sapsukkers in attak mode
            zebras wayrin fancee hatz an spatz an karryin mosheen gunz!

      • leeza-b says:

        Nookleeur disasturs
        Olive-less martoonies
        Pie wif no whippy creem

      • Jennifer says:

        No open bars
        Off-duty lifeguard means no swimming (it’s over 90 degrees here)
        Poopy heads
        Q…

    • CheshireKittehKat says:

      Noes, noes, noes!!! tihs fanbase kan brake karaktur adn taulk liek akshual peeps enny tiem iyt wunts tuu; ICHC Cheezefrends jes lieks LOLspeek;

      Iyt bees owr puraugatyve tuu taulk enny wai weez wunts tuu: adn tihs iys iyt!!!

      • Keogh says:

        I happen to be member of the fanbase, but do not have the time necessary to apply the thought to the proper way to Lolspeak.
        It’s like spanish to me.
        I can understand what is typed, I just can’t type it back.

  13. Lovecat says:

    Simeon Stylites kitteh comtenplayts de wurld etsettra (updaeted vershun).

  14. rhsb says:

    Dat’s okay, kitteh. Ai’d trai 2 get awai frum fuglee rug 2.

    • 4point5kittehs says:

      ohai rhsb, hao r u todai?

      • rhsb says:

        Hai, 4.5.

        Basickully ai’m jes goin thro teh moshuns ov lief rite nao. If ai’m nawt numb, ai’m cryin mai eies owt.

        Mai BFF’s momcat wants mi 2 coem 2 hur howse 4 lunch tihs wiik, but ai nawt feelin berry soshul-liek.

        • 4point5kittehs says:

          U shld go; ai’m shur u will feel a liddle beddur. No wun will expeckt u to be soshul. There’s sumthing abowt being around caring peepl n getting hugs that helps a hurting hart.

          Lots of lubbing enerjies going ur way.

          DK

          • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

            Yes, Rosie – yoo shud go! Ebreewun will unnerstand if yoo crais yur ayes out.
            an it will halp teh nummness a liddle too.

            Yur frenz will awl know tath yoo ar in mourning.

        • eeckthecat says:

          ….summtymes teh udder peepls can mayke u feels bedder…..
          do nawt feel liek u need to draw into urself…only maykes payne wurse…..

          • altosinger says:

            Wut eeck sed. Ai hert foar yoo, fweetie. {{{{{{{{Rosie}}}}}}}}
            Mai momma’s naym iz Rosey—saym, oanly speled diffrint. Dat’s a speshul naym tew mee, an yoo’re a speshul purrson.

        • CheshireKittehKat says:

          {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{RHSB}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

      • rhsb says:

        Ai wuz wunnerin, hao can u has .5 kittehz? Iz bebbeh?

        • 4point5kittehs says:

          No, iz stray tuxie boi. Hims be coming to teh door less frek… fweq… um, offin, tho — ai fink maybee hims findinged furrebber hoem!!

          • rhsb says:

            Tuxiez r sew prettee. Mai frend had won. Him wuz part Syamees an had teh Syamees “MAO!”

            Owtdoor kittehs seem 2 kno wat howse 2 go 2, don’t tehy? Tehy go 2 howse of kitteh-lubber almowst ebbery tiem!

            • 4point5kittehs says:

              Tru dat!!

              {{{{{{{{rhsb}}}}}}}}

            • tidmum says:

              I haz two interlopers.
              One I cawl Snotface an one I cawl Bonkers.
              Fems do noe hoo iz kitteh lubbers. :grin: I lubs dem :grin:

              • eeckthecat says:

                “Dere’s a sukker born ebbery minnut,ahnd kittehs knows where dey awl libs” !!

              • 4point5kittehs says:

                Mai dodder calls teh stray “Teh Alien” becuz hims wox funnee n mrows funnee. Alos sumtimes sprays inna haus. Iz teh pleh, but ai lubs him enneewai…

            • rhsb says:

              Mai frenz sai taht kitteh-lubbers has sines on tehre fourheds taht onlee kittehs can reed.

              Ai’ve been tolded taht mien iz flashin nee-yon!

              • eeckthecat says:

                Ahn teh sign sez “Ai will feedz U !!”

              • nvr2manykittehs says:

                ai know wii gots a sign that sez *drop ur kittehs here* ina our yard….
                tats how wii gots most of our kittehs

                • eeckthecat says:

                  Duz u libs in teh country ?????

                  • nvr2manykittehs says:

                    yeppers..hav an acre on ded end rd…lurves it..cept when folks driv by and throw kittehs out…tats how wii gots our last one..

                    • eeckthecat says:

                      ****Sighs****
                      Ai hayte heerin abowt peeps doin dat…..sadlee,dere wuz a storee on MSN.com yesserday abowt fud banks handin owt pet fud as well as peepl fud – udderwize,peeps be havin to give up or abandon teh animals.Teh foreclosures are especially bad fer teh kittehs & goggies.

                      • nvr2manykittehs says:

                        tats tru…an after teh hurrycanes in 05, there wus many pets on da streets..but lots of it is folks dont seem to care about teh animals..tey lets em run loose adn when teh bebbes cum along they just drop em off…so sad:sad:

                    • gremlin says:

                      *sigh* Dis is wut is known as a “drive-by kitteh-ing” in teh cuntree. Peepuls always thinx kittehs can tayk kayr uv tehmselves in teh wild. Is meen.

                      Menneh uv teh kittehs I hung owt wit in teh days uv mah mis-spent yooth wuz strays . . .

                      (Nao dont say yoo kan tell I wuz runnin wit a bad crowd uv kittehs!)

            • eubie says:

              Mai granny usetersay n Grate Desperashun times, hobos wud leev a sighn on gaits ov neyes peepz sew uvver hobos new huu wud giv a handout. Whuts teh funny iz, sighn wuz kitteh drawrin.

              • Maus says:

                The cat sign meant “A kindhearted lady lives here”…

              • kitsunerina says:

                wy r teh kittehs drawin sines to halp teh hobos? hobos doant has fud fore kittehs- unless is sekret sosyetee arrangemunt uv sum sort.

  15. Duffy says:

    Cirkus cat trying to practis wundurs hu took away teh titerope between this post an teh one aginst teh wall.
    “Now howm I gonna get across?” he thinks. “Owait – I’m alreddy cross.”

  16. CheshireKittehKat says:

    Cuntehmplahtive kitteh cuntehmplahtes teh aupposite skritchyng poast;

    wen her haz cunsydured iyt laung enuff, her wil swich adn cuntehmplahte
    teh ovver sidez;

    (Kitteh haz thot ov bekumyng a Guru; her finks tihs polesyttyng bees a guud staurt; :wink:

  17. Nanner says:

    Aww. Luks lke mi swweeet tortie Irma. Same attitudes, too. “I no luk at yu. I madz. Yu puts me on pole.”

  18. 2wh2blk2stripey says:

    hongree stirike kitteh: noes, nvrs, wonts gits down til nom kwallaT impoves

  19. jmuhj says:

    Riilii. An Tortleshell, ai lurve yur taist in textiles tew.

  20. catalogical humor says:

    Wai cant u be blitheringly happy wif yr daily routeen,
    like a goggie?

  21. KittyMOm755 says:

    I say go for the top of the bookcase tomorrow!

    • solarjoles says:

      Oh, and she does. I’ll post a pic of her on that bookcase sometime today…

      That’s my Pekoe, and my mess. And my gorgeous rug. And yes, teh kittehs use teh chayr for de claus…

  22. EMILINOOO says:

    HAHAHAHAH lino dis is cute
    let’s get another kitty
    he can replace jack ;0)
    JK cause jack – teh bestest
    and ur mad at me righ tnow
    teh lolz cats will makez u laughs tho.
    luv3 u for3ver

  23. I want your furniture :D Nice!

  24. kitsunerina says:

    ai dont think teh burds r gunna kum to it nemoar.

  25. poohbear3931 says:

    In Sobiet Russia, scwatching pawst haz yoo.



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