today teh scratchin post…
today teh scratchin post… …tomorrow… …prolly scratchin post agin
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: munchkin
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Well, scratch that, then.
Conga rats, LCB, fer steelin teh FFL posishun. Luks liek we has a five-way tye…
Wow, and I just peeked in before my class. U guise party on wifout me for a while, I has a group of catburglar wannabees to train this morning.
But can I just mention that the new carpets they is putting in teh hallway in mah condo bilding is teh same patteren as teh fugly one on teh scratching post? Pleh!
nawt to wurry, LCB. teh carpets they are installing are photoshopped — we has it awn the best awthority further down the thred (a gen-u-wine photoshop troll, ai thinks not wearing a mask or anything).
So, if they puts photoshopped fugly carpeting in your condo, that means that the fugly is nawt real fugly, so yew donut has to wurry.
kthxbai
an mebbeh yew can tweek teh color skeem frum yur lappytawp an haf teh noo cawpit eberee dai??
Oooh! That would be teh fun! I can hear mah naybors now:
“Hunny? Teh hallway carpet is made outta flames / lava / choklit / trolls / pink floofy fur / grass / pad thai. Halp!”
izzit too erlee fur Ty fuds?
MaryO’, u eetz awl teh Ty fudz u wantz, I gonna stikk wif teh chawklit caek-baekin. Duzz chawklit enter Ty fud repertwahr?
Coz tehn wii cud be hazzing
A…
B…
Chawklit lemongrass soop
chawklit goze in any repertwahr.
Ok den, u naemz teh Ty fidz, an I maekz em chawklitifyded, k?
Ty fidz,
I nawt meenin Triffidz!! Ty Fuudz iz moar liek wut I meenz!
okay, i aer bak nao. how bout we have the choklits on teh side? Dat way we can has spearmints wif out az muches risk ob ruwinin the Ty fuds oar teh chonklits?
o i dunno, choklit trifids cud be nex big fing in cannapays?
Deres allays deh unoosuel forms ub choklit. Like mole (say it mole-ay) sauce is chokolit n’ peppur BBQ soss made bi my Meksican babysitter. Its very nummy on chikun or beest.
mole poblano es muy delicioso, sí.
Just about my favorite Mexican food…
sírsly?
¿ tiene Ud. una receta?
I hadz una sumwearz pero se me olvidó, wif mani-p nutz, p nutbttr, adn , cloves y cinanom, y poblano ,por supuesto.
*wanders off to epicurious.com*
Sí. Tengo una receta.
*Whew!*
OK, that’s about all of my Spanish. I’ll go find my recipe. It’s even reasonably authentic…
Emailed it to you…
Chawklit myz!!!! teh cannapays am kummin!!
geddin teh…….. whutebbur yew can fynd!!!!11
The Canapays am kummin Ho-Ro, Ho-Ro!
The Canapays am kummin Ho-Ro, Ho-Ro!
The Canapays am kummin to bonnie Lochleven
The Canapays am kummin Ho-Ro, Ho-Ro!
yucki, u maedz me think of chawklit haggis. bleh!
oo I wud lurve sum Pawd Ty!
but wud never turn down choklit caek eether!
Lubs Ty fuds- but mebbe notsomuch wif chawklit… duck curry, lad na, yummy stuffs dontmembernamez..
Dats why I alwais gets pawd ty….
Plus I is a big ole wimp abowt my fuds bein too hawt.
A littul hawt is ok…. but not nookleeur. I saves that for teh skwirrlz.
Ohai awl an congaratz!!! U haz a makramay, merememeber? Sew, cmawn down tew Krissy’s! Maus, I iz hired a new woman, sayz she’z 3 hunnert yrz old, Voudon frum N’awlyunz, an she sayz she kan hep wif ur hare challinjez
lcb gets teh top spot
Thx for saying “gets” and not “steels.” It were a flook today, nothing moar.
U needs to be carefuls abowt the flooks LCB!
They is not sew grate, ackshully!
Speshully in yr livur. Pleh.
O, ok. I’ll watch out for those then.
BTW, Esme went in this morning for her 2nd round of chemo. I dropped her off around 8. After my class I had a voicemail from teh oncologist saying they found another growth on her that looks malignant. Sigh. I’m playing voicemail tag wif Dr. Tinycat rite now but it sounded like they would probably do a wait-and-see and change her to a different chemo cocktail. Poor Esme. We can use everyone’s good thoughts, ‘k?
Trolls are excused, of course, because they have more important things to be annoyed about than this.
So sowry to heer that LCB!
Hoap they found it early enuf, and I guess it’s good she’s alreddy having the chemo?
Weezy is at teh vet todai to but not fur anything as pleh as that. Still following up on the UTI..she refoosed to pee in teh speshul pellets they givved me so now she is sentenced to kitteh jail at the vets until she pees. She mite be there for a while. I wish I cud hold it as long as she does.
Please let us know what u finds out about yr Esme!! I has crossed fingurs toeses and eyes.
{{{{{ Esme}}}}}}
Aw, LCB – I haz awl mah pawz croxxed fur yoo an deer Esme!
Ai too am crossing ebreething ai can find to cross fur yoo an Esme!
{{{{LBC}}}} {{{{Esme}}}
Ai’m prayin foar Esme, LCB—ai haz a sad juss finkin bowt herz beein sik. Iz teh pleh. {{{{{{{{{{LCB an Esme}}}}}}}}}}
…nah, the sofa.
Getting back in form, I see. Conga rats!
yew guize am tyed bownd n gaggd!!1 oar neidz 2 B ??/
If is gaggled, canknot enjoi deh tye-fuds.
If is doing deh tyed, bownd n gaggd stuff, needs to retire to speshul section of deh Nawtee Barn for adolt playz.
TOMORROW, THE MINI BLINDS
… teh fugly armchare …
hay, i likes dat armchare; luks comfy & it isnt plaid. luks purrfect fur teh readin adn fur teh kittehs to sharpin teh claws..
Well… I suppose. BTW, how do you feel now that you have two dongles?
Are 2 dongles better dan one ????
an howcomm MaryO’ getz em awl? Deetaylez @ 11………
…jest lukky, i guesses.
*looks clueless- nuttin unushual dere*
umm. wot dongles?
*fzzzzzzzzzt pop*
***rummajes in gifty bag***
Aha!
Heer, MaryO, I has sum spwshul wires heer. I fink maybee u needs 2 be grownded.
***attaches wire to dongles and runs to teh grownd***
How’s that?
Mebbe she needs a noo antennee. Here, put this in yer nose…
gotta keep teh pointee endz reddy!
Hey missee, hao r u todai? Hao iz teh pleh wurk?
ohai! werk is…. werk.
I is verrie behindy… u know how it iz. When you’re gone on vaca.. everrywun makes shure to save ur werks for yoo, so yoo will no how much they miss u.
how r things in VLC?
Hmmmm, WP eeted mai reply?
Ai sedded taht fings R gud, n dat wii habbing a gud skankal, wif top-sekrit documints adn sex adn a byker gang!
Moar funner tahn teh boring Demokrat pry-merries!
In soviet russia, the post scratches YOU!
Hmmmm…but teh leather armchair luks liek it need sum skratchin,too!
howse cleening skills, i no has dem
Kitteh getz off flor, 2 avoyd teh mess.
mebbe dats why torheh isnt showin her face
torteh!
ssheesh, teh typos
Hur’s luukin owt teh windo, dreemin uv catchin burdz.
Bablyonian kitteh works on Tower of Babel to reach Ceiling Cat.
…..but does hims has a Babel fish ????
He did but he eated it
A moment uv silence,pleez,for teh Red Wingz….who were 34 seconds frum viktory last nite but lost in teh 3rd overtyme……
Mai droopy eyelids,ai will shows u them!
sowry eek!
howevur.. I noes my bro-in-law is happie happie todai!
u still haz baseball to luk forward to rite?
Yesh,iffen teh Tygers ebber wake up this seesun!
Aww, eeck, ai sawree for u an ur teem! Mai collij laX teem lawst nat champz teh saem wai in3rd overtyme.
Heer sum chawklit caek an a cup berry speshul cawfee, sew speshul I cant eeben mremebr teh nayme, but itz gonna waek u up
Fanks….ai needed dat ***sippee,sippee***
Hey….chokklit cayke! ***nom,nom,nom****
Ai feels bedder nao!
Eeck, nao u noez ware it iz, u kan commingz bakk awl dai tew get a refill! Wii keepz it hawt, an alluz chekking teh shugre an creem an such!
U iz too gud to mee!!
Ai appreeshiate yur hospitalitee!
we can still win on Wednesday, right?
Yesh…hopefullee nawt in 3 OT’s !!!!!
Ai wuz sad when UVA lost to Syracuse- u orinjperson? Mai sonkitteh plays lax- fun game!
Dis commint fur zauberflote above…
I watched the whole thing.
Go Wings (up 3-2 in series)
The Wings were beating them on nearly every statistic (’cept the one that counts)
Ai fawlded asweep in teh 2nd period……wuz awake fur the winning goal,tho.
***Sigh*** Dere’s alwais Game 6 !!!!!
being a blackhawk fan, i shuld be snickerin…but i still likes Chelly! Hope dey pull it off
YAY fer teh Penguins! Ai is glad ta see teh teams duke it out over teh Lord Stanley’s Cup. An it gives us moar hockey ta watch.
RadWangs. Pleh.
Ai is nawt heerin dat….
****turns head away from StB****
I can has Photoshops?
shure…heer ya goes
*back uv floofee paw to 4hed*
On noez!! not deh dredded photoshop trollz agin!!
*goez to tybooteek fer asprinz, glass uv wadder adn a floofee blankee.*
*takes 2 asprinz*
*findz kumfee sofa in bak ruum adn liez down 4 a nice nap.*
Mebbe wen I wakez bak up dey b gone.
Has awl u wants! Moar? Heer u go! *piles it awn*
?
Halp! I can’t get down, gets teh firezmen!
An dis carpet is so fugly- mus be keepin eyez closed!
Really? ICHC is funny, but how annoying to have a fanbase that can’t break character and talk like actual people.
we tawk lyk dis cuz iz fun.
Lolspeak iz ops..osph.. nawt a neccessary condisshun.
but having a scents of hoomer is!
**spritz spritz spritz**
U shud be gud to go nao lolllllllllolololol.
*Whispers*
Don’t fergit teh whippy creem…
why soitenlee!!
Ability to unclench and have fun disabled
Busted shoelaces
Chocolate shortage
Dongles damaged
Earworms from hell
Frivolous complaints ignored
Guests that won’t take a hint and leave already
Hot dogs with no mustard
Indigestion caused by excess bile in system (see A)
Jungle gym covered in rotten fruit
Kisses not sweeter than wine
Lunch postponed until after dinner
Mystery novel ending spoiled by thoughtless clod
N…
(This is a list of things more annoying than what teh OP said.)
No chocolate (see C)
Out of chocolate (see C)
Pepperoni pizza when one is a vegetarian
Q…
Questionable fud at buffets……
Reely stoopy peepl…..
Sittin arownd waitin fur sumbudde….
T…….
quick to anger, slow to listen personalitee
rekwest for tax rekords for the last elebenty yrs
television
umpteen annoying phone cawls interruptin ICHC time
v…
vicunas in a bad mood
water buffaloez in an even wurse mood
xylophones used as weppons
yello-bellied sapsukkers in attak mode
zebras wayrin fancee hatz an spatz an karryin mosheen gunz!
An wee kan’t hab badd-temprd watterbuffulow–coz ebbrybuddy’s got a wadder buffulow!
Nookleeur disasturs
Olive-less martoonies
Pie wif no whippy creem
No open bars
Off-duty lifeguard means no swimming (it’s over 90 degrees here)
Poopy heads
Q…
Noes, noes, noes!!! tihs fanbase kan brake karaktur adn taulk liek akshual peeps enny tiem iyt wunts tuu; ICHC Cheezefrends jes lieks LOLspeek;
Iyt bees owr puraugatyve tuu taulk enny wai weez wunts tuu: adn tihs iys iyt!!!
I happen to be member of the fanbase, but do not have the time necessary to apply the thought to the proper way to Lolspeak.
It’s like spanish to me.
I can understand what is typed, I just can’t type it back.
But Keogh – yoo know yoo can speek eneway yoo wants to heer!
An ai awlwaiz laik it when yoo show up!
Yeah–yoor kool. Proper written English is acceptable as long as one is not insulting the members on the site, their families, or their companion animals.
Sew thare.
:eyeroll:
Thank you JCH4K and altosinger.
Simeon Stylites kitteh comtenplayts de wurld etsettra (updaeted vershun).
nice obscure ref!!! Aramaic lore!
Dat’s okay, kitteh. Ai’d trai 2 get awai frum fuglee rug 2.
ohai rhsb, hao r u todai?
Hai, 4.5.
Basickully ai’m jes goin thro teh moshuns ov lief rite nao. If ai’m nawt numb, ai’m cryin mai eies owt.
Mai BFF’s momcat wants mi 2 coem 2 hur howse 4 lunch tihs wiik, but ai nawt feelin berry soshul-liek.
U shld go; ai’m shur u will feel a liddle beddur. No wun will expeckt u to be soshul. There’s sumthing abowt being around caring peepl n getting hugs that helps a hurting hart.
Lots of lubbing enerjies going ur way.
DK
Yes, Rosie – yoo shud go! Ebreewun will unnerstand if yoo crais yur ayes out.
an it will halp teh nummness a liddle too.
Yur frenz will awl know tath yoo ar in mourning.
….summtymes teh udder peepls can mayke u feels bedder…..
do nawt feel liek u need to draw into urself…only maykes payne wurse…..
Wut eeck sed. Ai hert foar yoo, fweetie. {{{{{{{{Rosie}}}}}}}}
Mai momma’s naym iz Rosey—saym, oanly speled diffrint. Dat’s a speshul naym tew mee, an yoo’re a speshul purrson.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{RHSB}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Ai wuz wunnerin, hao can u has .5 kittehz? Iz bebbeh?
No, iz stray tuxie boi. Hims be coming to teh door less frek… fweq… um, offin, tho — ai fink maybee hims findinged furrebber hoem!!
Tuxiez r sew prettee. Mai frend had won. Him wuz part Syamees an had teh Syamees “MAO!”
Owtdoor kittehs seem 2 kno wat howse 2 go 2, don’t tehy? Tehy go 2 howse of kitteh-lubber almowst ebbery tiem!
Tru dat!!
{{{{{{{{rhsb}}}}}}}}
I haz two interlopers.
I lubs dem 
One I cawl Snotface an one I cawl Bonkers.
Fems do noe hoo iz kitteh lubbers.
“Dere’s a sukker born ebbery minnut,ahnd kittehs knows where dey awl libs” !!
Mai dodder calls teh stray “Teh Alien” becuz hims wox funnee n mrows funnee. Alos sumtimes sprays inna haus. Iz teh pleh, but ai lubs him enneewai…
Mai frenz sai taht kitteh-lubbers has sines on tehre fourheds taht onlee kittehs can reed.
Ai’ve been tolded taht mien iz flashin nee-yon!
Ahn teh sign sez “Ai will feedz U !!”
ai know wii gots a sign that sez *drop ur kittehs here* ina our yard….
tats how wii gots most of our kittehs
Duz u libs in teh country ?????
yeppers..hav an acre on ded end rd…lurves it..cept when folks driv by and throw kittehs out…tats how wii gots our last one..
****Sighs****
Ai hayte heerin abowt peeps doin dat…..sadlee,dere wuz a storee on MSN.com yesserday abowt fud banks handin owt pet fud as well as peepl fud – udderwize,peeps be havin to give up or abandon teh animals.Teh foreclosures are especially bad fer teh kittehs & goggies.
tats tru…an after teh hurrycanes in 05, there wus many pets on da streets..but lots of it is folks dont seem to care about teh animals..tey lets em run loose adn when teh bebbes cum along they just drop em off…so sad:sad:
*sigh* Dis is wut is known as a “drive-by kitteh-ing” in teh cuntree. Peepuls always thinx kittehs can tayk kayr uv tehmselves in teh wild. Is meen.
Menneh uv teh kittehs I hung owt wit in teh days uv mah mis-spent yooth wuz strays . . .
(Nao dont say yoo kan tell I wuz runnin wit a bad crowd uv kittehs!)
Mai granny usetersay n Grate Desperashun times, hobos wud leev a sighn on gaits ov neyes peepz sew uvver hobos new huu wud giv a handout. Whuts teh funny iz, sighn wuz kitteh drawrin.
The cat sign meant “A kindhearted lady lives here”…
wy r teh kittehs drawin sines to halp teh hobos? hobos doant has fud fore kittehs- unless is sekret sosyetee arrangemunt uv sum sort.
Cirkus cat trying to practis wundurs hu took away teh titerope between this post an teh one aginst teh wall.
“Now howm I gonna get across?” he thinks. “Owait – I’m alreddy cross.”
Cuntehmplahtive kitteh cuntehmplahtes teh aupposite skritchyng poast;
wen her haz cunsydured iyt laung enuff, her wil swich adn cuntehmplahte
teh ovver sidez;
(Kitteh haz thot ov bekumyng a Guru; her finks tihs polesyttyng bees a guud staurt;
Aww. Luks lke mi swweeet tortie Irma. Same attitudes, too. “I no luk at yu. I madz. Yu puts me on pole.”
No! Is not pole. Is pedestal. Whare u belong, kitteh!
in lolnascar, it’s gud to be teh pole!
Same thing in Warsaw.
hongree stirike kitteh: noes, nvrs, wonts gits down til nom kwallaT impoves
Riilii. An Tortleshell, ai lurve yur taist in textiles tew.
Wai cant u be blitheringly happy wif yr daily routeen,
like a goggie?
I say go for the top of the bookcase tomorrow!
Oh, and she does. I’ll post a pic of her on that bookcase sometime today…
That’s my Pekoe, and my mess. And my gorgeous rug. And yes, teh kittehs use teh chayr for de claus…
HAHAHAHAH lino dis is cute
let’s get another kitty
he can replace jack ;0)
JK cause jack – teh bestest
and ur mad at me righ tnow
teh lolz cats will makez u laughs tho.
luv3 u for3ver
I want your furniture
Nice!
ai dont think teh burds r gunna kum to it nemoar.
In Sobiet Russia, scwatching pawst haz yoo.