GOP DON’T U JUST HATE AUTO DIALERS

Ennywai, tihs heppined tuu me IRL; Ai kidd yuu nawt!!!

*I call the Tech Support Supervisor* (they’re all supervisors over there);

Kitteh Tek Suppourt sez: “Haow kan Ai heylp yuu??”

Ai: “Wel, Ai gotta coustimer onna lyne hoo wunts tuu knoe XYZ!!
Yuu knoe Ai haz noe klearince foar taht. Kan yuu teyl me wut iyt iys?”

KTS:”Haould awn; Ai hasta luuk iyt up”;
* puts me on hold for 5 minutes -I still have the customer on hold*

Ai: *getting back on the line with the customer*
” Soe sorree tuu keap yuu waiyting soe laung;
Ai’m tryeing tuu geyt tihs iynformashun foar yuu;
wud yuu pleez haould awn foar wun mohmint? Fank Yuu”

KTS: *after 5 more minutes of waiting*
“Teyl teh coustimer taht iyt wil caust $$$$$ munnies!”

Ai: “Wowsers, taht’s a lawt; OK, Ai’ll teyl hims….”
*gets back on the line with the customer*

Ai: “Sir, mai soopurvysir teyls me iyt wil bees $$$$$ munnies.”

Coustimer: “#@%&**##$$!!! Leyt me taulk tuu yuur soopurvysir rite naow!”

Ai: “OK Sir; wun mohmint pleez”
*calls KTS; line is busy; gets back on phone with teh irate customer*

Ai: ” Ai’m rlly sorree, Sir; Ai kan nawt geyt thru; Ai’m gunna hafta putt yuu awn haould agen”.

Coustimer: “%$#@*&@#$%$*&%#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Ai: * to myself: I feel a migraine coming on: GROAN!!!!*

(*sumwun yoozin owld DOS vurzyun uv MS Werd*)
Yoozr: “Haow dew I printz mai dokymint?”
Me: “Eskayp Print Printr”
Yoozr: (*long pause*) “Haow dew I dew dat?”
Me: “U press ‘Eskayp’, den u press ‘P’, den u press ‘P’ agin”
Yoozr: (*long pause*) “Haow dew I dew dat?”
Me: (*heddesk*)

I can hadz awl kindza storeez oavur da yeerz, inkloodin:
- peepz hoo tryz 2 printz 2 printr win printr iz awf but dey sez itz borkd
- peepz dat howld da flawpee disks bai da “thumbhole”
- peepz hoo stik dere disks 2 a fylin cabnit wif a magnit (at un Ayr Foars Bays, noe less!!! )
- peepz hoo tryz 2 stik da diskeez inna dryv da rong wai

O, n dis owldee but gudee:
(dis bak win AT diskz doan werk inna XT dryvz)
(*gurl kumz up 2 hepdesk*)
Gurl: “Mai disk doan werk inna pooter”
Me: “Wich wun?”
Gurl: “Dat wun” (poyntz 2 AT pooter)
Me: “K, shood werkz. Ware iz ur disk?”
Gurl: “Rite heer”
(*gurl taykz disk frum pokkit*)
(*unfowlds it*)
(*unfowlds it agin*)
Me: (*heddesk*)

An WHERE oh wher iz LuvBJones???

LOL, Ai doan flirt sew mutch wif teh yunwunz, but sebbral ar mai frenz. Soem of teh 20sumfingz ar moar muh-tew-ar tahn teh wunz mai aj N owlder (soem). Nawt sew manee singlez mai aj, sew foar nao Ai stick wif teh crushez.

An yep, teh riilashunships AR a lawt ub werk!!
Ai haev nuff ob that rite nao, ktkxbai.

Can bii okae eff yew uze teh emoshun tew groe clozer tew teh SO taht yew hab. But soem peepz cornfuze teh cruzh wif teh Destinee. Dis iz nawt sew gud foar a marij or LTR.

Ai haev turnd teh cruzh intew
Teh Ultimayte Relayshunship Avoidance Vhickul.

Win Ai finnish degrii Ai wheel cornsider a reel riilayshunship. Nao Ai just indulj in teh crushez. (Bsides, teh majoretee ob mai mayle frenz around heer are closer tew mai son’s aj )

Teh thing iz – an Urban Legend cannawt bee troo – taht’s wai it is an Urban Legend.

A troo Urban Legend shud hav teh following things. It shud bee a storee that
iz toald about a frend ov a frend – known as a FOAF. It iz jenerally told as having happened to this frend ov a frend.

I suggested she say her real name was (another word for “cat” that is also considered a vulgarism) but she didn’t think that was such a grate idear, akshully.

*runs*