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  1. There seems to be a problem at Houston.

  2. poohbear3931 says:

    I’z ALMOST nawt secund. Wut I win fur taht?

    • mary O'Spockn says:

      the priveledge of buying us all a round of drinks!
      I’ll take my usual for this time of yr: a root beer flote.

      • Werdycnan says:

        hay, maryo! yu remembured mai tradishun! ai haz a Dr. Pepper, plz! oh! bedder mayk it diet. ai haz tew bee skinny nezt yeer. :P

      • poohbear3931 says:

        Yay! Fifi be alreedy supp.. suppli… givin cooler FULL of Fatal Kittehs. Yoo still wantin root beer, M O’S??!

  3. Dis is teh clooset I eber been to nawt sekond!

  4. PS – GRATS too fifi!

  5. OMG, u guise! I has a grate big happy! I have, um, acquired a onnest 2 goodness…

    Wait 4 it…

    HUNNERT DOLLAR TOWEL!

    Let me show u it:
    http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1235073

  6. Hairyharry's mum says:

    yas, i has turrrned it orf adn den orn agin

  7. Werdycnan says:

    lolz! :lol:

    ……
    ………
    tahtz awl ai kan sae!

  8. DavecanhasDrTinycat says:

    No Ai ar not frum India.

  9. raingod says:

    And what are YOU waerin’ ?

    • no 1 in particular says:

      tew teh prom? ai hazzint bot a dress yet. wayt a minnit…iz yu…iz yu askin mee tew teh prom? OMCC, YESH! AI WILLZ GO TEW TEH PROM WIF YU! :P

      • kafleen says:

        Dat wuz just….byootifull. *grins hugelee*

        • no 1 in particular says:

          OH! but wut shud ai ware? wii needz tew go shoppin!
          *runz tew grab purse adn merginsy-unlee credit kard*
          kafleen, kan yu drive me tew teh mawl?

          • There were some really nice prom dresses at the Ty Booteek. Shoes, too.
            And it wasn’t last year’s stuff, either.

            • no 1 in particular says:

              but hao xpinsive iz it? ai needs teh most xpinsive dress ai kan fynd. adn teh shooz need tew kost twice az mush az teh dress. adn tehn ai needz tew figyur owt wut tew doo wif mai hayr!

          • kafleen says:

            Oh, I think raingod shud drive u.
            :twisted:

            • no 1 in particular says:

              yu don’t fink ai needz a shap-rone? ;)

              • shap-rones, nawt so grate at prom, akshully.
                .
                are yew going to teh prom? did yew go? I know yew be home skoold, but mebbe yew went wif a nice boycat frend? or a boyfrendcat? Ai has a sad because in college dere is no prom so ai duzzn’t has an excuse to go dress shopping :(
                .
                BUT, i go to college in washingmachine DC, and in Jamuary there will be an Inaugural Ball to go to and ai will get awl prettied up. Now, to find a date… hmmm….

                • no 1 in particular says:

                  if yu kant fynd wun, just go tew teh neerist weddin goin awn, grab teh furst gai yu seez inna tux (even if itz teh groom) adn drag him tew teh ball wif yu!
                  nao, az foar mee, mai hoemskool groop haz eether a prom oar a Jr/Sr bankwit. no dayt needed! :D ai haz tew wayt foar next yeer, tho.

                  • ai hab my eye awn wun…. he wud look mightee nice inna tux… and ai fink he wud compliment my dress nicely… Arm candy, yew know? Sigh…. my adolescence, let me show it to yew…

                  • no 1 in particular says:

                    ai haz nebbur hadz a b/f :( most lyklee nebbur willz :cry:

                    • noooooo…. don’t fink dat! ai know EBBERYWUN sez it, so ai won’t say ‘eventually teh rite gui will cum rownd’. Teh boys take longer to machure, and awlso, us gurlz has gotta cum into owr own too. I became WAY less shy this yeer in college. And nao ai am more comfortable being KTNF and nawt sew worried abowt making awl teh boycats liek me. Not to say that ai dunnot want teh aforemenshuned pretty boy to liek me, but ai haz to accomplish dat by being me… sounds simple but it took me a whyle to figure it out and ai’m still not sew gud at it.
                      .
                      Also, ai am 20 and hasn’t reely had a bf… ai has a ‘it’s complicated’, but dat’s a furst!
                      .
                      Ai share ur payne, cuz ai feelz like dat a lawt, espeshully in teh ohai skool, but it’ll get better. pwomise.
                      .
                      stoopy boys.

                    • madamz says:

                      {{{{{{{{n1ip}}}}}}}}}}}

                      • no 1 in particular says:

                        fanks! :D ai duzzint needz a b/f at teh momint, ennywae!

                        • zauberflote says:

                          Ohai N1ip! AI dint now u homeskooled! I iz a hs teecher, er, well, wii iz doin “Xtreem Unskoolin” rite nao. Meenin, I spends tyme here an he spends tyme doin yard werk an playin gamez….sigh.

                          I had no b/f wen I wer ur aje eever, but oh hao I wanted wun SO BAD!!!!Ai uzed to maek up storeez wif anover girl abowt owr imajinerry peepz, an taht had to do.

                        • no 1 in particular says:

                          lolz! :D ai hadz a sumwun in particular hoo ai wunted tew go owt wif so bad! but ai iz ovur it. oar so ai tellz mai self. mai self duzzint awlwaez lissin, tho

                        • dat is teh PLEH. Been dere, suffrd throo dat. Wuz nawt sew healfy, in my case. Glad ai am finally over dat. Onto teh next wun… (after a while) hee’s a nice wun, and he is mooving to teh washingmachine DC in teh fawl!!! (giglol) he just gradumuated from college in Texas. Ai has a proud. Ai alwso has a big fat unfortunate crush. :oops:

                        • no 1 in particular says:

                          yu meenz yu dunt gitz over crusheses aftur hai skool? ai’m doomed!

                        • joyn teh club, sistah

                        • O WerdyCnan, wut tehy dew nawt sae iz taht yew nebber stawp habing eh crushez. Ebben win yew ar marriid, teh cruzhez mai reer uglee hed.

                          Can bii okae eff yew uze teh emoshun tew groe clozer tew teh SO taht yew hab. But soem peepz cornfuze teh cruzh wif teh Destinee. Dis iz nawt sew gud foar a marij or LTR.

                          Ai haev turnd teh cruzh intew
                          Teh Ultimayte Relayshunship Avoidance Vhickul.

                          Win Ai finnish degrii Ai wheel cornsider a reel riilayshunship. Nao Ai just indulj in teh crushez. (Bsides, teh majoretee ob mai mayle frenz around heer are closer tew mai son’s aj :shock: )

                        • kitsunerina says:

                          smom, yu remind me uv mai muther…. she flurts wif teh boyz my liddle sistrs age an laffs when teh “MAWWWWWWWWM!” cums.

                          boyfrenz r a lawt uv werk (oar so it seems). ai wudnt noe, kuz ai duznt has wun yet– ai gets kwite a fyoo dates, but moastlee jus teh ‘we is frenz’ dates. is fun, but ai wisshes fore more. ai mostlee wishes dat ai kud ackt kool in frunt uv mai neyber and krush uv 14 yeers (an kunsiderin dat ai is onlee 21, dats a lawng taim).
                          ..
                          ai liek foren boyz to, kuz tehy sees teh whirled so differnt.
                          ..
                          an kafleen and lcb- iffn yu turn mai werds arownd, ai will nebber speek to yu agen so lawng as ai remember! (yu trai makin cents awn onlee a fyoo howers uv sleep)…

                        • “…awn onlee a fyoo howers uv sleep” Yep, wii ar bofe students!!!

                          LOL, Ai doan flirt sew mutch wif teh yunwunz, but sebbral ar mai frenz. Soem of teh 20sumfingz ar moar muh-tew-ar tahn teh wunz mai aj N owlder (soem). Nawt sew manee singlez mai aj, sew foar nao Ai stick wif teh crushez.

                          An yep, teh riilashunships AR a lawt ub werk!!
                          Ai haev nuff ob that rite nao, ktkxbai.

      • Oh, I is so happy 4 u guise!

        And u doesn’t has to spend any moneys on outfits! U can borry some supplies from teh CCC and make prom outfits outta duktayp!

        Looky here:
        http://www.ducktapeclub.com/contests/prom/entries.asp

    • The Crapture says:

      1-900-kitteh wud like to kno taht ansur too.

  10. D.R. says:

    Hello, yes, we ordered de crunchee fude, an it did not go Crunsh.

    • poohbear3931 says:

      Taht’s cos yoo orderd teh gushie fud in erra. Gushie fud goez GUSHIE GUSHIE GUSHIE. Not crunsh.

      • jamamakitty says:

        an tey wuddin except yr credit card an yew gab us teh rong number sew we cuddin cawl yew……………..

        wut teh hek yew spect us tew do? NO, teh customer is NOT always rite!!

        oh yeah, see if ai care!!

  11. catsablanca says:

    “Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?”
    “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPress.”

    “What sort of trouble?”
    “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

    “Went away?”
    “They disappeared.”

    “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
    “Nothing.”

    “Nothing?”
    “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”

    “Are you still in WordPress, or did you get out?”
    “How do I tell?”

    “Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?”
    “What’s a sea-prompt?”

    “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
    “There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”

    “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
    “What’s a monitor?”

    “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
    “I don’t know.”

    “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
    “Yes, I think so.”

    “Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
    “Yes, it is.”

    “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice if there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
    “No.”

    “Well, there should be. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
    [muffled] “Okay, here it is.”

    “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
    [still muffled] “I can’t reach.”

    “Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
    “No.”

    “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
    “Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle–it’s because it’s dark.”

    “Dark?”
    “Yes–the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”

    “Well, turn on the office light then.”
    “I can’t.”

    “No? Why not?”
    “Because there’s a power outage.”

    “Aha! Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
    “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”

    “Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store where you bought it.”

    “Really? Is it that bad?”
    “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”

    “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”

    “Tell them you’re TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!”

    • no 1 in particular says:

      lolz! sownd so mush lyke wen mai dadcat gitz kawlz at werk frum liddle owld laydeez!

      • idansdansdans says:

        Sily Jilly went into a fabrik stoar an askt for 18 inches ov fabric for “curtinz for mai computer…… ”
        Klerk sez, “computerz duzzin knead curtinz…”
        .
        Silly Jilly sez, ” heelllllooooo…. I haz windoz!!!!!”

    • FULL OF WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • catsablanca says:

        Fankz, KTNF, butt Ai canut taek creddit….urban lejind taht dis wuz troo cawl 2 Word Perfect hlep lien. Ai jus chanjd eet 2 Word Press.

        • Aahz says:

          Yeh, I bleev datz troo, 2. I herded dat da tek sport gai gotted fyrd win himz manijurz herded bowt dat cawl…

          • catsablanca says:

            Ohai Aahz. Ai nebber swa ur replai 2dae wehn sum1 aksed waht ur Abatar picshure wuz. Ai wuz wundring, 2. Kare 2 shaer here? Heer’s sumfing awn teh Innertubes: Teh myfbusters att Swopes sai eberyting aftur discobbering teh pwr owtij wuz waht tekrep thot, nawt waht hee sed. Chek dis owt: http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperfect.asp

            • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

              O hai! If ai may – yoo ar sorta in wun ov mai areaz ov eggspurtease. ;)

              Teh thing iz – an Urban Legend cannawt bee troo – taht’s wai it is an Urban Legend.

              A troo Urban Legend shud hav teh following things. It shud bee a storee that
              iz toald about a frend ov a frend – known as a FOAF. It iz jenerally told as having happened to this frend ov a frend.

            • Aahz says:

              Fanky 4 da leenkee! I shooda noed dat it wuz 2 good 2 b troo… but inna wai it WUZ troo. Naow, da 2 tek sport storeez I toald abuv r bowf troo, inkloodin da shortr “da powerz awf” storee, cuz I noez da tek sport gyz dat dey happind 2. Heerz wun wat happind 2 mee lawng tym agoe:

              (*sumwun yoozin owld DOS vurzyun uv MS Werd*)
              Yoozr: “Haow dew I printz mai dokymint?”
              Me: “Eskayp Print Printr”
              Yoozr: (*long pause*) “Haow dew I dew dat?”
              Me: “U press ‘Eskayp’, den u press ‘P’, den u press ‘P’ agin”
              Yoozr: (*long pause*) “Haow dew I dew dat?”
              Me: (*heddesk*)

              I can hadz awl kindza storeez oavur da yeerz, inkloodin:
              - peepz hoo tryz 2 printz 2 printr win printr iz awf but dey sez itz borkd
              - peepz dat howld da flawpee disks bai da “thumbhole”
              - peepz hoo stik dere disks 2 a fylin cabnit wif a magnit (at un Ayr Foars Bays, noe less!!! :shock: )
              - peepz hoo tryz 2 stik da diskeez inna dryv da rong wai

              O, n dis owldee but gudee:
              (dis bak win AT diskz doan werk inna XT dryvz)
              (*gurl kumz up 2 hepdesk*)
              Gurl: “Mai disk doan werk inna pooter”
              Me: “Wich wun?”
              Gurl: “Dat wun” (poyntz 2 AT pooter)
              Me: “K, shood werkz. Ware iz ur disk?”
              Gurl: “Rite heer”
              (*gurl taykz disk frum pokkit*)
              (*unfowlds it*)
              (*unfowlds it agin*)
              Me: (*heddesk*)

            • Aahz says:

              O, n I splaynd mai abatar pik onna fred “sumfin differnt bowt u” :-)

  12. teho says:

    Oh come on, that’s never your real name… where’s your call center located, Planet Unicorn?

    • Ur rite. Hims real name is Mr. Cuddle-Wuddle Snookums but they make him use teh aliass at werk.

      • kafleen says:

        I knew it. It’s one of those LOLcats. I always get one when I call tech support
        and cannot understand a single word they say.

        *runs*

    • MelONyx says:

      Wuns I cawld tek sport adn got “Bunni.”

      • I knows of a lady who goes by “Kitten”. It’s not her real name, but she has been called that by frenz and fambly all her life. She works in teh tech support and at teh time I met her she werked for a accounting firm or some such and they insisted that she use her REAL name, not “Kitten”.

        I suggested she say her real name was (another word for “cat” that is also considered a vulgarism) but she didn’t think that was such a grate idear, akshully.

        • MelONyx says:

          Wunner wai? LOL! Met a man who introduced himself as “Bond, James Bond.” Since I had overheard him call his wife “M,” I laughed. :oops: Her name was Emma (Em), and his name was actually James Bond. :oops: Mai soshul nincompoopery, let me shows u it!

        • snert
          .
          der izza boycat who cawled me kitten once, as a term of endearment… He made mai heart melt. Sigh.

          • Romeow says:

            Waz u hinten?
            Didz he gib u a mitten?
            Was it fitten?
            Waz it maed ov linten?
            Dida he gets bitten?
            Waz u smitten?

            • ai was (am :oops: ) smitten
              .
              nawt sew shure bowt teh rest

              • kitsunerina says:

                an dis is whai we invent teh cowboiz an elfboyz (an wen tehy suddenlee get awl fleshee, we gets freeked owt- sorree, dat wuz TamLin… heze a liddle upset wif me rite naow- sumthin bowt the no-taim fore him kuz tehres too mennee uther boyz in mai life).

  13. catalogical humor says:

    Evur sinse tek support
    wuz outsorced to Lolcatta,
    mai hyoomin cannut unnderstan teh aksent.
    Taht is why he has puts me on teh fone with u.
    Nao heer is teh problum…

  14. Duffy says:

    Yu callin from yr offis?
    Okeh, herz whut yu do:
    Stan up.
    Climb up on yr chair.
    Yell “can ennybuddy heer read a manyooal?”
    Sit down an wate fur sumwun wif an akshual brane.
    Kthxbai.

  15. kaguvkov says:

    I’m calling the President Bush!

  16. catalogical humor says:

    hullo tek support,
    mai spelling dikshunary no worky
    wit teh lolcat werds

  17. CheshireKittehKat says:

    Tihs kitteh rlly luuks liek Ralph Nader…… HoooBoiiii!!!

    Ennywai, tihs heppined tuu me IRL; Ai kidd yuu nawt!!!

    *I call the Tech Support Supervisor* (they’re all supervisors over there);

    Kitteh Tek Suppourt sez: “Haow kan Ai heylp yuu??”

    Ai: “Wel, Ai gotta coustimer onna lyne hoo wunts tuu knoe XYZ!!
    Yuu knoe Ai haz noe klearince foar taht. Kan yuu teyl me wut iyt iys?”

    KTS:”Haould awn; Ai hasta luuk iyt up”;
    * puts me on hold for 5 minutes -I still have the customer on hold*

    Ai: *getting back on the line with the customer*
    ” Soe sorree tuu keap yuu waiyting soe laung;
    Ai’m tryeing tuu geyt tihs iynformashun foar yuu;
    wud yuu pleez haould awn foar wun mohmint? Fank Yuu”

    KTS: *after 5 more minutes of waiting*
    “Teyl teh coustimer taht iyt wil caust $$$$$ munnies!”

    Ai: “Wowsers, taht’s a lawt; OK, Ai’ll teyl hims….”
    *gets back on the line with the customer*

    Ai: “Sir, mai soopurvysir teyls me iyt wil bees $$$$$ munnies.”

    Coustimer: “#@%&**##$$!!! Leyt me taulk tuu yuur soopurvysir rite naow!”

    Ai: “OK Sir; wun mohmint pleez”
    *calls KTS; line is busy; gets back on phone with teh irate customer*

    Ai: ” Ai’m rlly sorree, Sir; Ai kan nawt geyt thru; Ai’m gunna hafta putt yuu awn haould agen”.

    Coustimer: “%$#@*&@#$%$*&%#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    Ai: * to myself: I feel a migraine coming on: GROAN!!!!*

  18. nikolas says:

    i loved it

  19. smuzie says:

    hello this is tecnical support
    dial 1 for matenence
    dial 2 for customer care
    dail 3 for a free foot massage
    dial 4 for a real kitteh

    GOP DON’T U JUST HATE AUTO DIALERS :(

  20. passion4ever says:

    can no one type english on this website?

  21. senara says:

    i has ben to dc it fun

  22. Joel says:

    this cracks me up every time


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