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I will kill u.

cat

I will kill u. Kill u till u dy frum it.

u shud sleep wif wun eye openz.

picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Ikaphant

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95 Comments »

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

tidmum

Kill yoo til yaw ded!

tidmum

an den i’ll do it agen

Romeow

Hoomin gets deaded on Groundhog Dai.

 
MoiraTehUberKewlKitteh

Concatulayshuns tidmum 4 teh nawt furst tyme!!!!1!

 
 
luvscatsVA

congrats tidmum on yer nawt- skund- drinks and danses this mawnin? ai gots hawt coffee and raisin bred wif walnutz- hav sum!

 
 
 
JanetCanHas4Kittehs

Nice goin up tehre Tidmum!! ;) An we shud indeed hav a nise dans fur yoo.

But - may ai taek this plaice - to call out to sum ov ar frens hoo ar missing - an may just bee lurking?? Ai miss them - an wish tehy wud return. Princess Mu came. Mite werk again.

paws4thot
Gayla34
Darrkwolff
MarkDayComedy
annyluvsprintie
kitkay
Miss Dawn

Whre ar yoo??? Ar yoo awl rite??
corse - there ar menee moar. just becuz ai hav nawt named yoo today, duzznt meen ai dont wish yoo were heer. Just cant maek teh teh list too long. ;(

3 Cattails

Ai’m missn Jack and his wunnerful highcoos. Mebbe ai jus not readn all teh threds. I thot I red somwher thet someon collected tehm together, but I dinnit find em.

JanetCanHas4Kittehs

No - Jack haz nawt been heer either fur several daiz. but he mite bee TDY. He werks foar oar iz in - teh Air Force.

 
 
 
 
tidmum

then we will hab “Teh ‘corpse’ du Ballet”

4point5kittehs

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!!11!

 
 
kitsunerina

OO! iz we doin teh fantum uv teh operah den, dere lots of corpse du ballet in dat show. an deh corpses uv uther assorted charackters to!

 
SJ

Oh Tidmum, dat is tutu much!

 
 
rodney dill

How do you get Kitteh in tutu?

You take the ‘C’ out of ‘truck’, and the ‘F’ out of ‘way’

The Manticore

I gets teh no effin wai but not teh c owt of truck

Tessie

Orijinally herd az this joke:

Q: How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping bag?

A: First, you take the S out of Safe, and then you take the F out of way… oh, wait, there is no F in way.

Lucy Pevensie

ai heerd taht joke befoar. ai nawt fink itz berri phunneh. ai fink itz berri pleh!

Jimmba

das cus yew no has safeway ober dere! tis an iinglish supermarket!! is berry funnee for us in TTI, fankoo tessie!

KafleenTehNawtFirst

Noap! We has teh safeway. When ai be living in washingmachine DC ai go grocury shoppin at teh safeway in the Watergate complex!

 
 
 
 
 
Jimmba

ai gots it (fanksh to googlol)

 
rodney dill

The C out of Truck is just part of the set up to get your mind in the right frame. It might not be needed, but It’s the way I first heard the joke.

marmot

Taht wur funnee. I must uze taht wun on Mr. Marmot!

 
Jimmba

ooooh, hehe, kewlies!! noice wun rodneh!!

 
 
 
 
 
YAAAARRRRGH

i feel sory 4 tha poor cat that they used in that foto

kafleen

I feel sorrier for me, in 7th grade, having to wear polyester knit dresses with lace
collars instead of the levis and boots and flannel shirts all the other kids were wearing.

Yep. Feel TONS sorrier for ME.

*gives kitteh eer skritchees*

babycakes

OMGG! I had to wear knitted dresses (that my Mummy had knitted) too, I also had to wear frilly blouses, and flared handmedown trooosers, eben thou it wasn’t teh sebentees anymore, and I had to have my hair in pigtails until I was 14! I was so unkool. :( Iz gud therapee to know I was not teh only wun who suffered.
(((((Kafleen))))

kafleen

*babycakes and teh dawnkee cling too eech uddur an wail lowdlee wiff teh
remmemmburred ugglee clothes trawmuhs*

Oh, teh hyoomanitee!

*sniff*

I feels bettuh now. Wud u like sum tee an a white choklitt macadamia nut
cookie, babycakes?

4point5kittehs

Ai can has tee n cookee to? Ai wuz fiffh ob six gurls, sew “hanmiidown” wuz mai middel naem! :???:

Ai eskaped teh pigtales arownd 12 or 13, tho.

kitsunerina

whuts rong wif pigtales? ai still wares them, cuz they makes me luk byootifull!
ai alweyz had prittee (albeit hanmedown, cheep, or mom made it) dresses tho- so iz mebbe it wuz just wen yu growed up dat cheep = uglee.

4point5kittehs

Nuffin rong wif pigtales! Just nawt ebrydai sins teh aj ob abowt 4!!!

Shioban

an jus havz a thot uf da boiz pluckin @ ebery okayshun

 
 
 
 
babycakes

I would LUV sum tee and a white chocklit and macamia nut cookie. Oh yes please. Do Want!
Fank you lubbly donkee, past traumas not seem so bad now :)

 
 
lunarmommy

ooh, teh klofs trawma… mien not reely a klofs trawma, more a date trawma, but klofs wuz involvd. wen i wuz senyor in haiskool, stil hadn’t had a date, so mah mommeh tol me if i invited her fren’s son to teh gurlz-choyse krismas dans she wuld buy me noo dress. reelly wanted purty noo dress so i called teh boy an aksed him, an eben tho himz alreddy had older gurlfren awai at kollij himz sed yes cuz himz mommeh wuz makin him. so yay i gotted to go buy purty noo dress — at KMART!!!!! :shock: :cry: i hoomilyated myslef for a dress from KMART :cry: :shock: anyway, him not happee, me not happee, we akshully had decent time bein not happy togever. never seed him agin.
wuz 1979, so dress not so purty aneeway. :P

 
 
 
Annipuss

I agree - cats don’t need dresses - they look best in what ceiling cat gave them.

kitsunerina

n3xt to nuthin?

 
 
 
s.t.e.n.d.

” I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay …” ( and I’m going to claw your eyes out … )

marmot

Nawt quyte wuht Lenrd Burn Styne had in mynd.

smacky

lyrics akchully by SteeBin Soundhym an’ hee mebbe did habs dat in mynd. He idi rite Swee-knee toad abter awl! ;)

marmot

Oops. **blush** Ai gess ai wuz jes tinkin of teh moosickle scoar by Mr. Burn Styne. Mai apolojomies 2 Mr. Soundhym.

 
 
 
JanetCanHas4Kittehs

O hai Badger!! ;) Ai left yoo a noat a bit ago - too far bak -yoo prollee dint see it. But WHERE hav yoo bin??? Purrhapz ai mist yoo sumwhere,but yoo havn’t bin heer fur munths!!

 
 
Tribble

“And I pity, anyone that would dress me this way!”

raingod

Is he in da Sopranos?

 
 
Aahz

C da sillee kitteh n da pikshur dere
Hoo cood dat pore kitteh b?
Such a purty fur,
such un uglee dress,
such a skowlee fays,
such un angree me!

 
MelONyx

Aahz, u has made this up? or is quote? Sounds familyur . . .
lold when ai saw comment abowt Tanda - is meh goggies name!

Aahz

Wel, I mayd up dis vurzhun 2 go wif pikshur, but iz baysted on part uv “I Feelz Purty” frum “West Syde Storee”, saym song dat s.t.e.n.d n tribble b uzin 4 deyr vurzhunz

lol bout goggie Tanda — duz she haz green furz? :-)

 
 
 
 
 
luvscatsVA

Dis luks kiek my kitteh Cupcake. Ok. dis is totally random, and not in Lolspaeak, but Thank You to cheezfren who turned me on to Stephanie Meyer a few days ago- bought “Twilight” yesterday and have found it hard to put down- awesome book!! I can’t remember who mentioned her book, but thanks!!

Romeow

To continue wif our OT topic,
I fink mebee it waz Ambercat dat told us bout teh book “Who Moved My Cheese?”
Iz a tinee book dat deels wif change, and has mush WIN and AUSUM!
Iz gud fur kids and adults. Mah Momcat-in-law read it wen she waz heer, and lieked it too!

kafleen

tank u furr dat remindur..I mite go ordur dat rite now.

 
 
 
Missy

Gettin me tew dans, dans, dans….yer doin it stoopy.

Romeow

Sum lessons r harder dan odders fur our hairless slayves.