I will kill u. Kill u till u dy frum it.
u shud sleep wif wun eye openz.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Ikaphant
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I will kill u.
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Kill yoo til yaw ded!
an den i’ll do it agen
Hoomin gets deaded on Groundhog Dai.
Concatulayshuns tidmum 4 teh nawt furst tyme!!!!1!
den I vill danse on UR grave.
Muhwahahh!!
congrats tidmum on yer nawt- skund- drinks and danses this mawnin? ai gots hawt coffee and raisin bred wif walnutz- hav sum!
an kil u yf u cum bak frum de dedd!
In mai bootifuw two-too!
Nice goin up tehre Tidmum!!
An we shud indeed hav a nise dans fur yoo.
But – may ai taek this plaice – to call out to sum ov ar frens hoo ar missing – an may just bee lurking?? Ai miss them – an wish tehy wud return. Princess Mu came. Mite werk again.
paws4thot
Gayla34
Darrkwolff
MarkDayComedy
annyluvsprintie
kitkay
Miss Dawn
Whre ar yoo??? Ar yoo awl rite??
corse – there ar menee moar. just becuz ai hav nawt named yoo today, duzznt meen ai dont wish yoo were heer. Just cant maek teh teh list too long. ;(
Ai’m missn Jack and his wunnerful highcoos. Mebbe ai jus not readn all teh threds. I thot I red somwher thet someon collected tehm together, but I dinnit find em.
No – Jack haz nawt been heer either fur several daiz. but he mite bee TDY. He werks foar oar iz in – teh Air Force.
then we will hab “Teh ‘corpse’ du Ballet”
OMG LOL!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!!11!
OO! iz we doin teh fantum uv teh operah den, dere lots of corpse du ballet in dat show. an deh corpses uv uther assorted charackters to!
Oh Tidmum, dat is tutu much!
How do you get Kitteh in tutu?
You take the ‘C’ out of ‘truck’, and the ‘F’ out of ‘way’
ai dunt geddit
I gets teh no effin wai but not teh c owt of truck
plz tew be esplainin??
Orijinally herd az this joke:
Q: How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping bag?
A: First, you take the S out of Safe, and then you take the F out of way… oh, wait, there is no F in way.
ai heerd taht joke befoar. ai nawt fink itz berri phunneh. ai fink itz berri pleh!
das cus yew no has safeway ober dere! tis an iinglish supermarket!! is berry funnee for us in TTI, fankoo tessie!
Noap! We has teh safeway. When ai be living in washingmachine DC ai go grocury shoppin at teh safeway in the Watergate complex!
ai gots it (fanksh to googlol)
The C out of Truck is just part of the set up to get your mind in the right frame. It might not be needed, but It’s the way I first heard the joke.
Taht wur funnee. I must uze taht wun on Mr. Marmot!
ooooh, hehe, kewlies!! noice wun rodneh!!
i feel sory 4 tha poor cat that they used in that foto
I feel sorrier for me, in 7th grade, having to wear polyester knit dresses with lace
collars instead of the levis and boots and flannel shirts all the other kids were wearing.
Yep. Feel TONS sorrier for ME.
*gives kitteh eer skritchees*
OMGG! I had to wear knitted dresses (that my Mummy had knitted) too, I also had to wear frilly blouses, and flared handmedown trooosers, eben thou it wasn’t teh sebentees anymore, and I had to have my hair in pigtails until I was 14! I was so unkool.
Iz gud therapee to know I was not teh only wun who suffered.
(((((Kafleen))))
*babycakes and teh dawnkee cling too eech uddur an wail lowdlee wiff teh
remmemmburred ugglee clothes trawmuhs*
Oh, teh hyoomanitee!
*sniff*
I feels bettuh now. Wud u like sum tee an a white choklitt macadamia nut
cookie, babycakes?
Ai can has tee n cookee to? Ai wuz fiffh ob six gurls, sew “hanmiidown” wuz mai middel naem!
Ai eskaped teh pigtales arownd 12 or 13, tho.
whuts rong wif pigtales? ai still wares them, cuz they makes me luk byootifull!
ai alweyz had prittee (albeit hanmedown, cheep, or mom made it) dresses tho- so iz mebbe it wuz just wen yu growed up dat cheep = uglee.
Nuffin rong wif pigtales! Just nawt ebrydai sins teh aj ob abowt 4!!!
an jus havz a thot uf da boiz pluckin @ ebery okayshun
I would LUV sum tee and a white chocklit and macamia nut cookie. Oh yes please. Do Want!
Fank you lubbly donkee, past traumas not seem so bad now
ooh, teh klofs trawma… mien not reely a klofs trawma, more a date trawma, but klofs wuz involvd. wen i wuz senyor in haiskool, stil hadn’t had a date, so mah mommeh tol me if i invited her fren’s son to teh gurlz-choyse krismas dans she wuld buy me noo dress. reelly wanted purty noo dress so i called teh boy an aksed him, an eben tho himz alreddy had older gurlfren awai at kollij himz sed yes cuz himz mommeh wuz makin him. so yay i gotted to go buy purty noo dress — at KMART!!!!!
i hoomilyated myslef for a dress from KMART 
anyway, him not happee, me not happee, we akshully had decent time bein not happy togever. never seed him agin.
wuz 1979, so dress not so purty aneeway.
I agree – cats don’t need dresses – they look best in what ceiling cat gave them.
n3xt to nuthin?
” I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay …” ( and I’m going to claw your eyes out … )
Nawt quyte wuht Lenrd Burn Styne had in mynd.
lyrics akchully by SteeBin Soundhym an’ hee mebbe did habs dat in mynd. He idi rite Swee-knee toad abter awl!
Oops. **blush** Ai gess ai wuz jes tinkin of teh moosickle scoar by Mr. Burn Styne. Mai apolojomies 2 Mr. Soundhym.
Today
O hai Badger!!
Ai left yoo a noat a bit ago – too far bak -yoo prollee dint see it. But WHERE hav yoo bin??? Purrhapz ai mist yoo sumwhere,but yoo havn’t bin heer fur munths!!
“And I pity, anyone that would dress me this way!”
Is he in da Sopranos?
C da sillee kitteh n da pikshur dere
Hoo cood dat pore kitteh b?
Such a purty fur,
such un uglee dress,
such a skowlee fays,
such un angree me!
WIN!!!1!
Aahz, u has made this up? or is quote? Sounds familyur . . .
lold when ai saw comment abowt Tanda – is meh goggies name!
Wel, I mayd up dis vurzhun 2 go wif pikshur, but iz baysted on part uv “I Feelz Purty” frum “West Syde Storee”, saym song dat s.t.e.n.d n tribble b uzin 4 deyr vurzhunz
lol bout goggie Tanda — duz she haz green furz?
My new owner is Claude Balls
LOL!
Revenge de El Tigre.
Is he in de Sopranos?
Got teh rite commint now
“snicker”
@@@@@@@@@@burgerz!
Dis luks kiek my kitteh Cupcake. Ok. dis is totally random, and not in Lolspaeak, but Thank You to cheezfren who turned me on to Stephanie Meyer a few days ago- bought “Twilight” yesterday and have found it hard to put down- awesome book!! I can’t remember who mentioned her book, but thanks!!
To continue wif our OT topic,
I fink mebee it waz Ambercat dat told us bout teh book “Who Moved My Cheese?”
Iz a tinee book dat deels wif change, and has mush WIN and AUSUM!
Iz gud fur kids and adults. Mah Momcat-in-law read it wen she waz heer, and lieked it too!
tank u furr dat remindur..I mite go ordur dat rite now.
Gettin me tew dans, dans, dans….yer doin it stoopy.
Sum lessons r harder dan odders fur our hairless slayves.
Yew puts meh in a tew tew,
I kills u wif a fore bai fore.
Iz kitteh maff.
You shall suffer for visiting these indignities on my noble self
Add 2 kitteh maff:
Kitteh berrys u in sicks bai sicks fut hoal (taht kitteh dig awl bai self),
tihnkin “I 8 U! I 8 U!”
wuz ai tastee then? seein as how yu 8 me.
So tell meh, stoopy hoomin…
Do u feel luckee?
Well, do ya?
Dis thred is hilareeus!
U gais r killin mee!
I r ded. Blargh. icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/1168702253-11674885811774361.jpg
*waits for Obvious Troll to come along and inform us the ridiculousness of the caption.*
*clears throat*
*hmmmph*
That caption is ridiculous !!! And most of the words are spelled wrong. Sheesh.
(my ability to resist temptation, i cannot shows it to you … is too smalll)
Oneupmanship Troll must oneup Obvious Troll:
How can you kill something dead? To kill, in itself, implies death. It is redundant
for one to state, “I will kill it dead.” Idiots.
(Anybody started writing teh I Can Has Satire Book yet? No? Someone’s gonna bite again eventually and we’re gonna need it.)
Dis not funney, Mistir
U kno this not mah color!
I’m obviously an Autumn,
and he dresses meh in Summer colors.
Work it!
Awww, but you look so purty, kitty-cat! *stifles gales of laughter*
u shld c wut da goggie is wearin.
Stoopy goggie prolly lieks it.
stoopy goggie prolly eetz it!
lolz!
hi
Oh hai harry pootr!
Are u noo heer? I doan beleef I’ve seen a harry pootr heer before.
Welcum to teh happiest place on earff!
Ballieryna Alexaindrah Ibanohnova pawses inna middel ov hers pieruette inna begynnyng ov teh ballets furst acte I;
Orkestra kundukter Vlahdimeer Kapustanovich bees annoyeing hers xtreemeley muches,
becuz hims keaps pokyng BAI wif hims baton ebberytiem her dayncis past;
(Nex tiem him duz tihs, BAI wil grabb baton adn smak hims onna hed at leest seberal tiems wif iyt.)
Teh purrfoarmince wil tehn bees oaver;
adn peeps wil bees abul tu sekure dere munnies bak at teh maine boxx awfiss.
i thinks teh peeps will B gettin ther monees worth on that performance!
lulz 4 all!
Audishun for “CATS” – yr doin it rong.
Poar kitteh! dey weren’t mint tew wares clothez!
It might be from another movie (or book) but I heard this quote from Hots Shots: Part Duex. “I will kill you til you die from it.”
Hoald me klohsur tinee dansur…no wayte, ouch!
@@@@@
.
lay meh down in sheets ov linen
u’ve had a busy dai todai…
prima donna kitteh sez ” yu can talks to my ajint. too-too is pleh.”
my humiliations
let me show u them
Wii wihl halp u kil nastii hoomanz whu puht tutu on yutu.
*R POINTII ENDZ. WII WIL SHOYU THEM*
All teh ‘pretty” threads remin mi of a group kalled “Switchblade Kittens” (good name, eh?) wich haz song “Pretty” an da korus goes, “I’m pretty! I’m PRETTY! I’m pretty sick of being told how to be pretty.” Shoulds go look on Utoob. Is funny.
OMG- the laol-ese! it maeks mah eyes bleeed!
Dis obveyussly photochoppd. Nobuddy cud has got kitteh into dat outfit an livd long enuff to take pickshur.
Oar mebbe sumwun drugd kitteh furst! Dey slipt it teh mikki!
i luv hotshots 2!
tho I is DanceCat, I amayzd that hooman liv long enuf to post lolcat
Iz makin mai hooman laff til eyez leek, den fall ovr on flor
uzed catnip to get kitteh dressd den wayted til wayr off to taek pikshur
I noze cuz happen to mai wen I sleep in box uv sof paypurrs an wuz to trust hoomans
No mor
Dis poor kitteh mayks me laff ebertym ah seez it. poor poor kitteh *snirk*
I pick this dress – for ur fyunral
no one can put a dress like that on a cat and live long enough to take a picture. Trust me.
The instant you put a kitteh in a dress, kitteh will hate you.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/08/17/i-haet-u-so-hard/
POOR KITTEH!
I feels 4 U. I wroted U dis pome:
http://inocanhascheezburgerpoems.blogspot.com/2008/11/pink-dress.html
Kthxbai
i culd not surviv thug tat!
I will never forgive you!
I put my cat in a Christmas sweater every year and nao i no how she feels
love it
two defeet teh human, yoo mast kil him untell hee dys.
A cat prefurz jeenz if goes out, not stupid dress! But u knowz dat hoomans r stupid, dont u?
OMG DAT IZ HI-LAR-E-US!!!
U kans die now.