All he ever wanted was to poop outside
bein outsied nawt so grate akshully.
picture: Elbi. lol caption: (?)
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All he ever wanted
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What's the Filling?
Insted, he uses ur shoeses!!
Congarats lolnascar!!! U is teh zippiest thsi mornin! And congaratz Maus awn teh Tye!! Wutchuwawll wantz fer sillybraytin? *skipz owt to Tye Boo Yiik*
Iz finaly nice heer, how bout an outdoor picknick, minus any kitteh poop!
*skipz bakk frum Tye Boo Tiik* Halp! Dis sum hevvy stuffz I gotz! I gotz teh Majical Oryentul Carpet fur settin in teh meadoe on, teh elebbenty picnic hamperz/basketz, awl wif teh real chinah an silber, teh ice bukkitz (they’re bloo!) fur teh sham payne watchucallitz wif teh ornj joos, an
All teh foodz wii wantz, liek
Bacon
Creem cheez
D…
deveilled eggzez!!
Eggs uv deveilling!
Farm fresh eggz, deveilled!!
Sowry.
*ahem*
Deveilled Eggs.
Eggplant saladz
Fresh strawmberriez
Good hawt bagelz
Hot bagelz, good
oopz, iz contayjuss
Insiedz ob grapefrootz
J…
**halps ZF wif picnic basket**
Jam and scones
Karrot caek
Lemon skwares
Marmelade to put awn teh toast
Nutella – also gud awn bagels
Omelets – fur those hoo cant get enuf eggz! (debbiled – LOL!)
P…
gwuava
Hor-ee-ohs
ice creem!!
Joos ov teh ornj, nawt poyznows
Kanapayz
Lol eepopz
M…
Munchee stuffs..
nummy crackers
oranges
P..
peech cobblers
quiteafew cookehs
Rice krispeh treets
S…
Rice crispy treets- yaay! ai leev radishes for bunnehs..
Sawngreeyah frum Spane
Tatertotz
Undebbiled eggz (I iz unrepentant 8) )
Water, sparklin
Xtra nakpinz
Y…
whut is V?? very debbiled eggs?
Um, if u wuz undevvilled, wudn’t that meen u WAS repentant?
Dat’s wut ai wud fink! An ai doan kno wye wee haz teh abatars—but tehy shoor iz teh pritty! Ai liek tehm!
lolnascar- wur yuu at race Sat? lokul peeps wuz sorree homeboi Denny not win.
I wuznt dere, just watcht that Shrubbery knock my boy to teh wall at home
at leest denneh got teh win friday
yup- he wuz happee den! ai not follow de racin but manee folkez roun heer duz.
“shrubbery”- *snerk* that wun tuk meh a minnit.. mai sloeness, lemme show yuu it..
my biasedness, lemme show u it
oh yummmmmmmmmmmmmm, peach cobbler…………. nom nom nom
WANT
pee-stash-yuus
quite a lot of cookees
radishes
S…
Debbilled eggz
Eggz, debbilled
Flamigo danzerz frum teh NB
G….
debilled eggs
easy ober eggs
florentine eggs
g…
Oar Bunnee poop, oar raccoon poop, oar deer poop, oar possum poop, oar burd poop, oar coyote poop, oar swerl poop. .
Aive been cleening teh bak shed – O Mai!!! (x-ed aies)
Doutless sumhao gud fur the sole. Just haven’t yet figured aut waht that mite bee!!
oh gees, teh bunni poop is canny for my pupperz. easer bunni done just leeb teh aigs, don ya noes… e-eweee
ohai Lolnascar, conger atz! Picnic sownds like a grate idea!
I can haz devvelled eggz?
Congrats lolnascar. I guess yoo took teh restrikter playt offa yer engine to get that little extry speed an yoo beated me.
Hope I pass da postrace inpeckshuns
Here….pee in dis kup pleez.
Noes. My kittehs runz insied to use dere box. vera stranj. all dat OUTsied and muss to be comin in for teh poopin. wad up wit dat? (dey inside kittehs 22 hours a day, onlese outside in am and pm for teh one/two hourz) But trwulese dey sprintz down teh hall to teh box. iz funnee to go: kitteh commershal–gotta go gatta go gatto go ritez noaw.
The Door into Summer…
robert heinlein, FTW.
Door into Summer remindz me of
HG Wells’ Door in the Wall
(and Rod Serling’s homage, Willoughby)
but Heinlein came up wif a much happier ending!
but awl he cud do wus poop awn teh cowch. An unner teh cowch. An rite nekst to teh bed….
wait – is dis one ob mah kittehs?? sounds familyer…
akshully, dis one even looks liek mah oranj kitteh wif asthma – he cannot poop outsied b/c he wud hab teh azima attaks…
iz dat cuz ob pollooshun, or is eet new kitteh illness? :O
teh world is mah littehbawks….
I no go outside? Then I go in ur shu.
To dreeeeeem, teh unpossible dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem….
@@@@@!!! Tihs kitteh haz such a sad, I fink. But teh eerz iz a liddle bakk, so maybee nawt sad?
Kitteh thinks it over in a song:
.
All I want is to poop outside,
Far away from the teh fireside.
Wif one enormous stink,
O, wouldn’t it be loverly?
.
Lots of rodents for me to eat,
Lots of berds sayin’ tweet tweet t’eet
Smudged face, smudged tail, smudged feet,
O wouldn’t it be loverly?
.
O, so loverly sittin outside in teh deadly chill
I would never thaw till spring
Wait gimme mah windowsill.
Someone’s hand pettin’ pretty me.
Warm and tender as she can be. Who takes good care of me,
O, isn’t it just loverly?
Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly
And yet anudder klassik frum teh brillunt AND talented Ms LOLCATBURLGAR!!!!
*muffled sounds ov furree paws wildlee clapping*
Someone archive this! This one goes in “Forbidden Cheezeburgers” (the ICHC show).
I’m awn it. Dun!!!
An gud morning to yoo, oh liddle baybee Mausee.
Ooochee Kooochee Koo!!
*Tries to bite JCH4K’s finger*
Watch it ladee! Just beecawse I iz small, duznt meen I iznt daenjerus.
He’s rite Janet. Watch urself!!
He started a fite wif me yesterday.
I haz broozes from the ice kyoobs, and I is still picking baked beenz out uf my hares.
Don’t yoo lerves a gud food fite?
acskshully… yesh!
Reliving owr colleje days… we did it rite!
well mine ennyways.
Well, at leest u haded eyse to putting awn teh broozes….
ohai DK!
Um… yes.. ice kyoobs, to put on the brooses maded by the ice kyoobs…. uhhuh….
Oooh!! OOooH Ai bee SOO skeered! LOL!! ROFL!
*carefullee skirtches Maus awn hiz Teenie Tinee Furrree Hed wif fingers aut of reech ov Mauses fewtylee snapping lidde teef*
*Petunia To The Rescue!*
*Gently sits on Janet*
*Gives her a big sloppy kiss*
*wisspurrz* watch me distrakt Maus!
*setz owt one ob dem Zippos*
*gibs Petunia a big sugar lump*
Nao wii seez whoze who!
*Maus eats the sugar*
*Petunia lights the lighter*
*She drops it in zauberflote’s pocket*
*FWUUMMPH!*
O teh jeenyuss ov ur sawn, LCB!!!!! I had tew sing it awl teh wai froo coz it wuz sew delissshus!
@@@@@@@@@@@
lowcarburgler winz agin!
dat r sutch a lubbly song *sniff sniff*
an yoo has sutch a lubbly seening voise two!1!
u no wut iz weerd? ize wuz hummin dis sawng to mesllf dis moarnin! widdowt knowing u wuz posteeng it (or having seen da moovee lately).
Hmm. Do dee do dee do deee do deee (Twylyt Zoan muzikk)
well, not DIS sawng…dat wood be *rillee* weerd. But the oridjinull.
I was singing this song in teh car as I taked Esme to teh vet for her first chemo. Then I had to be careful while I was waiting for her in teh lobby that I didn’t sing it out louds. Teh peeps at teh vet see lots of weerd stuff, but that would be 2 much.
U decided to do the chemos then?
How is that going? Not too bad I hoaps!!
Btw u can alwais blame enny strange behavyers on worrying abowt yr kitteh, the vet peeps will unnerstand. And heer, we just expeckts it.
So far so good, but it’s only been a few hours. Any side-effects don’t show up for several days. But it was as easy for her as getting a shot. She’s napping on teh windowsill right now. And Liam is leaving her alone, like a good boy.
Ai haz werds ob wizdum fer dis kind ob sichoomashun:
“Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.”
Iz yoosful in menny sichoomashuns, akshully.
Oh yes. So sad. Mai Barney wants aut SOOO bad!! He wuz an outdoor cat, an we brawt him in becuz it iz so danjerous – but – sumtimes he has teh sad aiez.
Ai doo think ai’m going to trai to taek him aut fur a walk. He AWLWAYS comes wehn I cawl him. Eben wehn he wuz teh autdoor cat, he cayme running. So ai hav high hopes! Taht it will werk!
t iz sad wen we incarc…encarser jails aur kittehs to keeps ten sayfe.
I hadz a harness on a lead fur my boicat. He did not walk so much on it, but teeched me much about bird-waching,n got to be outside.
A friend on a farmy had catz tat wuld go fur walks wif her, n stay close, n mew to be carried wen walk got too long.
Anudder friend had cat tat wuld go skiing wif tem! Ride in back pack! and sit in a rowboat n watch teh wadder.
Adam cat, the Manx cattery reject, (sum tail dere) wud walk with me thru de woods behind house in Connekicat.
I needz to go sew baaad mai eyeballz is yelloe!
but soon they will be orinj and match ur fur!
Ohai leeza-b!! Com awn up to teh piknik up hyer awn teh thred!
ohai! I iz there alreddy! but since u is heer now, where wuz u yesterdai?
I had to goes to Spane all by myself. Wuz tempted to pick up a flamingoe danser for u, but since I doezznt know teh Spane-ish, wuz lukky just to make it back wif teh sangria!
Lessee, wuzznt I heer yesterdai?? I fot I wuz, yeah, I wuz! But wile u wer in Spane, I wuz in Tred Mill, millin tredz, u noe, tredz fer teh fyretrukk tyrez…
All I wanna do is poop outside
I got a feeling I’m not the only one
All I wanna do is poop outside
Until the sun comes up over Oh Hai Boulevard
hehe, obskewer sheryl crowe ref!!
For sum reason ai Fink sumwhere ober teh raynebow is a gudd song for dis pikshur?
yesh, it haz dat melanloly sound tew it!!
Taht’s “JCH4K Boolervard”, shirley?!
din’t kwite fit teh perambulation….. ((??))
sumwun well versed in poemtry mite know wut teh werd wuz ai wuz lukkin 4
mai x husbuns aies was broun.
Don’t b sad, kitteh. Ur poop goez owtside…..evenshully.
and awl gud poopz goes to hebben !!1!
cats…so much like us it’s scary…
key word = he.
Waiting with anticipation for dog to use electrified hydrant
@@@@@@!!!!
♫
Oh give me land, lots of land
Under starry skies above.
Don’t Fence Me In.
Let me ride through the wide open
Country that I love.
Don’t Fence Me In.
Let me be by myself in the evening breeze,
Listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees.
Send me off forever,
but I ask you, please,
Don’t Fence Me In.
♫
Rodney!!! LOL!! Can this bee also a ref to teh keyword by leeza-b???
I iz ignerrant an lost. Wy wuz teh keyword “he”, an wutz a keywerd, an, an, an, I iz so iggnerunt but nawt shamed to shew it.
Much.
Um, well, itz a well nomed factoid that boyz in generals, fur some reeson, like to go potty owtside. And, this is an orinj kitteh wich frum what I haz heered heer, they iz almost always boi kittehs. So it wuz the commint that furst popped into my hed. My brane… let me warn u abowt it! I never knowz whut will pop owt sumtimes.
poop out sumtimes
No, Cole Porter’s, Don’t Fence Me In just seemed appropriate.
I luvs dat yu r so perky in teh am, Rodney
Awwww….pobrecito.
*snerk* Tahts wut Ai tellz mai hooman kittehz wen tehy pouts bout sillee stuv.
“o pobrecito! K lastima, eh?” (Mai Spanich haz CanadeeN axsent.)
Wat a purty fayse!
.
.
Kitteh, u may nawt lyk dis, but ur prolly safur insyde dan on da meen streets ov da citee.
Happee Mawnin tu eberybuddeh! Eetz Toofsdai, wut be awn teh sked…shed…wut R planz fur todai?
Why hasn’t he called yet, he said he would…
He musta thot u liv at mai howse, cuz tihsmornin mai shrubs smellz like he called!
Hay, Mai howse 2! Lawtsa fings smellz heer, like
Awnings
Bushes
Chaers
D
Oh…izznt rite tu stert unubber lisst awn sayme paig? Ai nawt sher Ai no awl rools adn porpor eddikut, kthxbai
I dont think there’s enny rool aginst 2 lists on wun page fikshunkitteh!
I halps.
Drainpipes
Easee chairz
Fronch doors
*smillee, happee tu bee plaing
Grrradj door
Hammix
Ice adn snow
Jams ob doors
Kiddees swing set
Lawn furrnachur
M…
Mah hoominz byke
Nawt in liddurbockz
Onna ennyfing ai kin find
P
“P” iz rite!
Quacked Konkreet
Recycle Bin
Steps, shrubs, siding
T…
Tables on teh patio
Usual places
Verry inappropreeate places
Trash Can
Unner da steps
Vaccuum kleener
w
Wherebber dey can
Xtra pee onna door jam
Y nawt?
Zzzzzzzz – gud lawng nap afterwurds
Wadder Hoes
Xtra awn teh hoes bib
Yella flours
Z
OT: Hoomins maek mi sew mad, sumtymes! Dis iz an e-mail ai sent 2 mai momcat dis mornin.
“While I was there (at teh vet’s this morning), a man brought in a gorgeous dog. She was obviously overweight and the man told the tech that the dog hadn’t eaten, but he gave her the insulin this msorning. He was very blase about it all.
After he left, one of the receptionists said, “I didn’t think you were supposed to give insulin unless they ate.” To which another girl replied, ‘You’re NOT!”
Sheesh. It irked me so much. If your pet develops a chronic health issue (like diabetes), it is your responsibility as the pet’s owner to take an active part in their healthcare. If you ignore it, it is NOT going to go away – it will either destroy your pet’s quality of life or drastically shorten it’s life.
I wanted to scream at that man to pull his head out of his butt and get a clue.”
unfortoonately, dis happenz moar den u’d think it wood
Nex’ time Hooman stays home and bees za good boy/
If Hoomin can’t be nawt stoopy, den hoomin duzzent deserv 2 be owned by petz.
psst..kitteh..
is not so grate akshullee.
Srsly.
Ai agree. Speshully wen dere’s to TP and teh door won’t cloes rite. Oh, and then u gotta figger owt ware 2 put ur purse….
Ewwww…portapoopies – Yuk!
I wud rather go behind a bush than poop in a portapoopie!
Digging a bunneh hole – do nawt want.
Ai has a slitely OT funnee. Ai is looking for a new littur bocks, sumthing that will blends in wif the furnitures moar, and founded this:
http://www.livingcomforts.com/mp-mps007e.html
Notiss the animule that is exitting the bocks. And the goggies wunders why people makes fun of them. LOLZ
An animal washroom? Oh, my.
.
.
I can imagine a toilet, sink and mirror. There’s a tiny little man in there to give you a towel and some nice lotion. Maybe an ear scratch for the road, too.
.
.
There better not be any tiny men in the bathroom trying to scratch me ears.
ohai leeza! Haz u recobered frum ur tryals adn tribulashuns ob yesterdai?
ohai Diamond kitteh, yes, I haz licked my wounds and is lukking for moar trubble now. Feelin fiestee latlee fur sum reeson!
How r u? Has u recovered toatally frum yr fire dammige frum last week?
Toatally!! N ai liking it wehn u R fiestee! Maybee iz spring feeber? U must be habbing da nies wevver down dere nao?
Ai R happilee wurking at hoem todai, in mai jammees (red plad bottms, red top wif peng-gwins onnit). Teh strai kitteh, a sweet tucksie boi, iz loling ona couch liek he libes heer (well, he kinda duz). Teh sunn iz shining. I habbing a sweetee hoo noes haow important affecshun iz to us gurl kittehs. Iz mai birfdai munf. Life iz gud.
oh where oh where are yew? we had teh tease of a sunny day yesterday. but tewday teh skeattle grai skies R bak!! taking a lonnnnnnnnnnnng time 4 spring tew get here dis year..
Ai R neer Oddawah, Kanaydia.
well it jus ain’t rite, ai tell ya. it jus ain’t rite!!
(but ai has tew remind myself dat we duzzn’t haz teh wyld fyres eider……………. trade offs, let me shows yew dem)
Hole on, jamama, spring R cumming, ai pwomiss!
Ai maded you a pikshur:
mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1092940
fank yew, fank yew!!! it’s lubbly!! luks gud on mai desk!!!
Welkum!!
Juss wat I want…a litterboks next to mah pillow.
Their product placement department needs sum halp.
ROFL! Another gud poynt!
I think tehy cud use sum halps in their marketing divvishun.
Mai fots zactly, pleh
everbods hoo wanz litturbockz bi ur bed, raze ur pawz
Liddurbockz next to teh bed? Pleh! DO NOT WANT!!!!
*shudder*
Insied haz perks too. Wen outsied, yer poop stink haz to compeet wif everybudy else’s. Insied, u r master of awl u survey. Iz ur territory, be prowd.
Otay, bud duz stinkee owies stay insied?
Smellz bai mai hedd, Nawt Want!
sry, abuv s/b “butt”
No! Teh litterbocks farie taeks dem away after a bit.
Hoo r U callin a fairie?
Feerliss Faerie, whare iz yoo?
ooookaaay, boi, gowon owt,
getit owt ov yer system.
yu’ll feel bedder in teh end
i has no reel reezun to bleev dis, an i’s prolly rong, but i tink teh poopkitteh be lukin owt a flat windo in Ol Lundin Town.
Ol Lundin Town? Wuld be reely cool!
Sadly, it’s ol Vienna Town in Austria. Nawt so cool.
thx Elbi! and hay, Veyena is cul to ME.
Oooh, whoo, when will u reel eyes, Vienna waits for u.
Billy Joel FTW!
duz u reed wut yr tyepings, Romeow??
Nawt too often.
Wat blunder didz I do dis tiem?
Teh feline is gorn, oenlee yu remayn, tihs meens nuffink to me.
Oooooooooh, Vee-yennaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!
Ultravox, FTW! I laways thought Midge Ure was underappreciated….
Wy Vienna’s a gud naem fore a kitteh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ci0q8Z_ywA
Oh, sweetie, pooping outside isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Not that I know from personal experince, mind you.
hasnt u evar tryd dis? o man, lemmy… um… hmm.
dey jah voo.
Looks like Paris, France.
Kitteh haz 1000 yaurd stare; him luuks liek a karakture owt ov a Russhin nahvule;
Count Konstantin Valentininov dreems ov hims laung losted luuv,
Nadia Fedorinova, hoo runned oauf wif teh stable boi menny yeers agoe,
adn wuz nebber ebber herd frum agen.
Wen spryng cums, hims finks ov her, speshully wen teh snoe haz awlmoast meltid adn teh roases staurts to bluum onna wyndy Russhin steppes…….
CheshireKittehKat – taht wuz reelee gud – an sad. . .
Oh – those Russhin nahvules – awlwaiz so sad. *sniff*
Unliek mi kittehz who go outside 2 play & come inside 2 poop!
I SEE AVATARS!!!!
ohai, kafleen. ai gotteded yur email adn sent yu wun bak. did joo get it?
*Sniffs*
He looks just liek mai badazz punk-rawk mofo kitteh Leon. I misses him. :,(