draw me lyke 1 of ur french grls
yoo must git a french manecur liek dem french grlz.
picture: Izumi. lol caption: (?)
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Hand me the Snorgle Snorkle. I’m going in…
It’s a dangerous job, but somebody has to do it…
Sometimes the cuteness is so severe, it’s just hard to know whether to snorgle or splort.
Ai had no chois. I splorted befoar I kood snorgle!
quarter me!!
Liddle kitteh practises foar career as model.
http://www.sculpturegallery.com/sculpture/paolina.html
Canova”Paolina Borghese”
http://www.usc.edu/programs/cst/deadfiles/lacasis/ansc100/library/images/633.html
Goya “The Naked Maja”
http://www.myrrhine.net/botticelli/venus.html
Botticellli “The Birth of Venus”
Kayte Winslet kitteh is doin hur thing
Layter on Jack, when u tells me not to let go… I will make sure to hang on wif all my poyntee endz. And yr hart will go awwwwwwnnnnnnn…………
Kitteh iz nawt gonna lyke it wen da bote sinkz. Water ebberyware!
iznt dat sposta b Kit Winslet?
Shee furgotted 2 putz on teh “Hart uv teh Katnip” (oar iz dat “Katnip uv teh Oshin”?)
Oooooo La La !!!
SPLORT!
Ai fergitted mai CHRG(wdoi). Nao mai brains am ebberyware.
*Maus rides up on Petunia, who is hauling the CCC, the Tye Booteek, the Pi Wagun, and a Fyretruck*
OK, guys, lets’s help Lyanthya!
Oh hai, Maus! Mai knite in furry armer!
I can has hawt chokklit?
Sure. I’ll get out teh Newqueler Bust Duster and slurp-up yer brayns
*Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
Nao I puts it in reburse and put em back in yer head
*rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiW*
Nao I gibs yoo Hawt Chokklit (wif a splash ov brandee)…
An a floofy bankee…
Beddur nao?
Oooh, fanks, Maus. Ai feels MUTSH bedder.
Am we habbin drink an dans?
Proly not todai. I has a confernece call wif Teh Ebil Empyre (aka Micro$loth) inna coupla minnits. If yoo don’t heer frum me toomorrow, yoo will know taht I haz been seedoosed by Teh Dark Sied…
Oh noes Maus – is Bill Gates ur father?
Thankfully, no. But talking to a group of M$ support “engineers” can rot your brain in a matter of seconds. Then they slurp it out and replace it with Vista, and BINGO, you’re a Dark Side M$ Zombie…
Oh… and my call is over. I put on my special CHRG covered in Depleted Uranium paint, and that seemed to keep me safe…
hurrah!!
Thank ar deer CC taht yoo ar saife!!
Ar yoo in such grave peril ebreeday??? Maybee yoo shud keep Petunia in yr office. Wif hur noo war-fiting mooves (ai think teh “levade” and teh “capriole” cud bee spechullee skaree – yoo mite bee safer eben tahn wif the speshul CHRG!
JCH4K! I cameded akross aPome I thot yu wuld
like…too long 2 post here, so I maded a
Poem folder on Cheezfrenz n put it tere
fur you.
Unfortunately Janet, I work in a 8×8 cubicle. Petunia would be… um
… a bit of a tight fit…
wut udder protective tings myte yew be able to put in ur qbikul?
armor
bomshells (ub the poster AND weaponry varietee)
cat claws
d…
Maus, yu kno tat a ICHC
horse kan bend tyme nd
spays n so cn fit ennywhere!
Depleted Uranium Exploding Bullets
Exploding Cigars
Flamethrower
Ginormaus hairball bawmb
Hikkuppt stuffz inna rokkit pokkit
I….
Invasive incendiary devices
jackalopez
Killer Kangarooz
L….
ink from teh sploding dye packets
jump rope/indyana jones whip
kannon
loch ness monster ( oar mebbe dat wudn’t fit)
Minti mowfwash 4 kissin spyez-(Oar firemins) (Oar firewimmins)
Nasty stink bawms
Oskar di Larinte kamo-dudz… Cuz U hast luk gud 2!!!
P…
Pea shooterz
Quirkee . . .weaponz
Revolvers
S. . .
Secret ayjunts (well, duh)
Trip wire
Unbeleevubly clever stuff
V….
Vulcan deth grips
Whippy creem (wif bourbon)
Xtra soft floofy blankets
cunfeshum: mai brudder jus startted werkin foar teh big M 2 weeks ago. He be making lotsa $$ and duzn’t seem to want to pai off mai student loans for me… wunder why nawt?!
*runs and hides and refuses to gib owt her big brudder’s name an locashun to teh angree mobs*
.
oh whell.. mebbe he kan get me in wif teh Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation…. Malaria— DO NOT WANT!
Is this a beeg bruver oar a liddel brover??? an is he marriajed oar nawt?
It maeks a diffrunce. . .sumtiems awl yoo has too doo is smyol prettilee, lukin as cyoot as yoo can – an say “pleeze?” Butt it depends . . .wif a singul beeg brover, yur chances mite bee prettee gud!!
big singul brudder… he has no ‘sponsibilitees…. ‘cept hiz own student loans… hmm.. student loans mebbe nawt be a pawsibility, but mebbe he’ll be kinda important.. oar know sum important ppl by teh time Iz reddi to has a job in da reel world and can get me in wif the Gates foundation… Ai’ll be praktissin mai cyoot smile (tho dat nawt werk so well in da past… he jus sez “ur dumb” big brudders… gawtta love em)
*Rinse, Rinse,
scrubee, scrubee
Rinse, Rinse
.
Wut?? Dis hao to du dishies??
*slinks away humilated
Ai no we kin git choo a 50′s bavvin cap frum teh Ty Booteek… yoo wanta flours oar fishies onnit?
*Sweepa sweepa sweep*
*Wype wype wype*
*Scoopity scoop*
*Perlop plup plop*
der branez awl in
Put teh new chrg(wdoi) awn
*Tug tug tug*
*wrap wrap teh duk taype rown*
Hands Lyantha a floofy blankee,Mug ob Hawt chokklit an a possum shayped chokklit.
*jess sit rite down heer an recubber slowly.Hope yew feel bedder sune.*
Tid, wehre dids yoo gets teh uddere braynes? Are yoo shure dey wuz her braynes? Are yoo shure dey wuz BRAYNES?
*Onimous Moosic*
Oh, here’s a jar. It sez “Abby” someting…
Ai ar NAWT yung Frankun Styne!
It’s Frankun STEEN!
Of corpse it is.
Blucher!
*WhinnyWhinnyWhinny*
cue violin moosic….. ;♫
*cheks jar* luks lyke it contayned pikkled gurkins at sum thyme.
Wearing my collar, and ONLY my collar!
oops- fergitted collar…but how daintylly legz is krossd!
Ohai, ai R an odalisque kitten-in-training. Gets meny sleeps dis way!
Ai 2 secksy fur my shurt, 2 secksy fur my shurt,
Sew secksy it hertz!
Rite Sed Fred, ref!
Nao ai’ll b singin dat song AWL afturnoon.
Had tu du somfing, wuz singin teh Cween sawng, Bo heemy un Rapso Dee.
Kween r da BEST! Ai dem sew mush.
Ai wuz finking iz bettur than da Celeen Deeyon song dat leeza-b was startin to sing abov.
subbosed ta be “ai HEART dem sew mush”.
Were did da Heart go?
um, dat wuz nawt me, dat was Rose. Rose singed teh song. Any eerwurmz, see Rose abowt dat.
Ann n Nancy Wilson…hab nawt heered mush bowt dem lately
Ackshully, they is touring this summer, wif Journee and Cheep Trik. I iz going to see them in Aug heer in NC. w00t!
Ai sawd tehm awn reesent kountree moozic awardz. They singed wif taht girl frum Sugerland. It wuz good. Tehy kan still sing.
Ai haz 2 ugree, mush beddar dan Celeen. Ai wuz onna cruz (to Mex) ship inna care ee okie bar n a wuman wuz seeng dat sawn, eeeeerrrriiiiieeee
Ear Worm!
GMTA Maus!!
EEERRRRRRRRRR WERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Ai tu seksee fur mai fur, tuu seksee fur mai fur!
Ai tu seksee furmai tayel, tu seksee fur mai tayel!
I ar purty and I knoz it
Risque cat iz risque
jack dun no whut to sai to dis awfur
Ai’m bringin secksee bak.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La28l1NJ_EY
OT: Dere is a man walkin rownd on mai roof. No, srsly.
Izzit a fyremans?
no… sadlee. Oar nawt so sadlee, as dat wud meen my kitteh wus stuck onna roof oar mai howse wuz on fire.
.
he’s fixin the sattelite dish. it werked just loverly 3 weeks ago wen dey put it awn teh roof, but den teh awl teh leefs awn teh trees growed in adn noa itz liek “halp! halp! ai cant see teh satelite!” An Duct Dape is liek, “dude, kafleen2, ai can’t watch Aminal Planet in dese condishuns. Srsly.”
.
Creative liscence– ai took it.
Duct Tape… dat be my kitteh’s name… nawt Duct Dape.
(ai always feel phunnee correctin mai speeling heer)
Duct Tape is like The Force
It has a Light Side
And a Dark Side
And it holds the Universe together
Taht be berrree deep, Maus.
*wonders off pondering teh meening ob teh yooniberse*
an teh meanin ob teh duct tape!! ai don fink we cud surbibe wifout it
such iz mai kitteh
iz kinda like velcro kitty? stuck on yew???
liek teh kittens hoo nawt know how to take in der pointee ends?
Now you just give that right back! Who do you think you are? LCB?
Ai thort SJ wus in charj ob awl lysensing arraynjments
Ai just does teh poetic licenses.
Oh Maus!!! De Dark Syde haznt gotting u yet!
well.. ai thort about dat… and yesh, as a mattr of fack I pheel dat LCB an ai has mush in commin. Our bene.. benevolol… good intenshuned interest in teh fyremenz, four instanz.
Wait, whut? Whatever it is I didn’t take it.
I was — let’s all say it together — just taking it outside to see whut it looked like in teh lite!
Oh, u wasn’t talking 2 me? Whoops. Mah knee-jerk reflecks, let me show u it.
Is dat knee-jerk reflecks, pronownced GILTEE CONSHUNCE????
Heehee, u TeenyTinyInglanders sure does pronounce things funny!
Yesh, but is hims cyoot? (Satellite gui, nawt Duct Tape – ai knows Duct Tape R cyoot!!)
hehe… nawt sew mush, tew be honnest. Oh well… mebbe ai’ll have tew keep borkin teh dish and see iffn tehy send a cyootr (an youngr?) wun nex time… oar mebbe I shud just look elsewhar
lyk the UPS guy?
is da UPS guy cyoot? Ai’m tinking moar along teh lines of a pool boy or attractive young intern at a WashDC non-profit. Save da world types… I likes dem.
Himz ar cute
tall and tanned
and buff
and bery polite and soft spoken
do want
Ai’d settel for approksimutly teh rite nummer ob armsanlegs an a puls!
Lolz!!!!!1!
hey noa… dere’s no settlin in cheezland!!!
in case yew habben’t noticed, we hab a nawty barn fulla poifectlee sculpted fyrehotties and coasties! No settlin rekwired! Dey all has de gr8 purrsonalities too!
Hao izzit taht awn almoast eberee lolpic wii end up tawking abowt teh buff yung mens?!?!? Whut duz it MEEN???
*snerk*
Maus, dat snerk nawt berry halpfull. Ai R sirching furr srs sociological explificashun heer. Srsly.
Nawt.
Hai DK, I think u just fownded ur furst volunteer for ur test studie.
Ai shud point owt dat we duz nawt just has teh hawt yung mens. Regularly we has me, Ambercat an Tidmum in our green fluffy nikkers. An u don’t get mush sexier dan dat.
ohai leeza-b! Ai cant pay u – still wanna participate?
Hm! Well I wuzent reely referring to moi, but now that u mentions it… maybee in the interst if sigh-ents, I shud halp u out.
Dat’s mitee mang… magmam… big ob u!!!
U should go to teh UPS store by mah offis. Seems they has a policy of hiring only teh buff yung mans who hasta ware polo shirts that clings in allda rite places. Oh, and they hasta ware pants, too. *hmph*
If that weren’t enuff to give me palpitayshuns, everytime I goes in there one or moar of them is usually packing something frageely that requires the buff yung mans to squirt white packing peenuts into teh packing box from a hose. I think they is trying to kill me.
Funny bonus story: one time I went in and one of teh BYMs was wrapping and packing an extry frageely Ming vase or something. One of teh other BYMs said “I is goin to teh drugstore. U want anythings? Some candy mabye?” Teh first BYM thought for a second then sayed “Yeah. Could u bring me a Butterfinger?”
I didn’t say anything but I laffed a littel inside. Last thing u need when u is packing extry-frageely stuffs is a Butterfinger.
Dat’s funnee storee, LCB.
.
.
Purrsonallee, ai wud go 2 were da beeg botes r. Ai lubs mi sum saylorz! Dere littel whyt uniforms luk good, eben wif da bell-bottums!
O, I knoes whut ur means. When I usedta work in teh Warshington DC I would take teh subway to teh Pentamagon then catch a bus to my house. (It said right on teh front of teh bus: This Bus Goes to LCB’s House.) (As far a u knoes, it did, anyway.) The bus was teh pleh, but since it started serviss at teh Pentamagon, other passengers were often mans (and wimmins) in various military uniforms. My favorites were teh Navy ossifermans in their summer whites. Sal-ute!
Ai jus lub men in yooniform!
*swoon*
…
…
…
*openz wun eye*
Psst – sumwun get teh fyremenz, plz.
*swoonz agin*
Ok, but in order to keep you from havening a swoon relaps when they gets here, we’ll axe them to remove their uniforms first.
Hold on, I don’t think that will halp.
Aw, heck. We’ll try it anyway!
*perks up*
Finkz abowt teh shirtless fyermenz… *swoonz yet agin*
Waek me wen dey get heer, LCB. Aiz jus gonna hav a liddul nap…
Oh mai gosh, LCB!!! Ai dont think yoo wud hav survibeded if yoo wudda had mai job. Ai werked fur the Armee, yoo knoe. When ai wuz in Heidelberg, tehre were lotsa French soljers neerbai.
An in Stuttgart – we had HQ EUCOM – (European Command). Therefoar we had awl five serivese – Armee, Air Force, Navy, Marines AND teh Coast Guard! An teh green Berets and teh Rangers!!
An in Italy, we had moastly Army, but sum Navee – an teh Italian Naval Academy wuz in ar town – Livorno. Ai eben went to the Graduation Ball wif an Italian Naval Offiser wunz!!
So – fer mee – uniform shmniform. Just ebreeday dress. *snikur*
*swoon*
Uh-oh. Dis is becoming a paddurn.
Plz not to be making us jelus!
All the gurlz at ICHC now wants
Ur job
LCB… ai see we’z has mush in commin… teh Washingmachine, DC (ai goes to skool dere… usually… long story) and teh enjoyment of teh fyremenz… ai beleeve ai am ur proteg.. prootj.. you can teech me much, o wise wun!
Well, if u are in town now or will be sometime in teh near future, let me know and we’ll go site-seeing.
“And here is Firemans Station No. 9… “
yew still libs dere????
Ai wuz jus on campus dis past week. Dere is a fyreman station rite in de middle uf campus! And dere is a hopsickle wif lawts of attractive and well paid doctors!!
I libs in teh Norvern Virginny, but very near in.
What skool u goes 2?
GWU!!! <3
heeeeeeeeelareeeeeeeus!!! I mite haf to start shawpin at teh UPS. dey don’t eben wait 4 signature wen drops off pkgs……….. in such a hurry!! might have to require signatures!!! HA
Bend… And Snap!
Legally Blonde Ref!
Ai feelz fur u Kafleen2. Mai satalyte dish goes bai-bai wen it ranes hard. Den ai hafta unplug it sew ai can watsh regular tee-vee.
Ai iz beeg chickin wen it comes 2 storms, sew ai hasta C wats goin on wif da wether.
Speshulee since ai libs inna tornado magnit.
.
.
.
Uh, soree, thu frase shud b MAN-U-FRACKTURD HOWZIN. (Accordin 2 da hubbee.)
Ai wuz sew eggsited
Ai luked atta picshur an it sez “No Comments”
Ai fot, Whooaa, Ai kin akshully mebbeh beez Nawt Sekond
Bii teh tyme Ai tiped sumfing in, 8 comintz ware aweddy in B 4 mine
*hevvy sigh
Oh will, try agin n agin n agin n agin
If at furst Uz don’t succeedz,
try try againz
Useless advice: let me give u it
Fanks fur yer kine werds
Butt it reelee will moast liekly happen.
Sum tipa. Trai nawt to let yur mynd go blank.
Keep it short an suksinkt
an TYPE REEL FAST!!!
JCH4K, oh fank yoo fur teh ink oar agemint. Ai weel keepz tryinz.
*Crawses pointy ends.
Tihs pourtrayte iys wun ov teh paiynteings taht wuz founded iyn teh attik ov
Toulouse Latrec menny yeers agoe afture hims passessed awai.
Hims model foar tihs pikshure wuz a yung pennyless beeuuteeful kitteh naimed Marie;
Her poseded foar a pyttince, becuz her famblee wuz starveing, adn her dyd iyt tu saive tehm.
Lature tihs paiynteing becaime veree faymuus, and soe dyd Marie, hoo oavernite becaime teh toast ov Paris.
Her wuz xtreemelee iyn deymande az a model bye awl teh wel-knowed artysts at teh tieme; hers beautee becaime wurld-renowneded.
Ebben naow, hers deecendints stil liev iyn Paris;
Adn tehy awl ar az beeautimusfull az Marie…………..
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Siiiiiiiigh. Wut a wondermous storee….
She may be teh toast of Paris, but ai is teh Bagel of London….
An teh crakker ob Antwerp!
Dis is a prelinimary studee for Goya’s Teh Naked Maja.
…
(Since it is today, we can call it Sinko de Maja.)
Oww, groooooone! Teh pun-ishmint!
Cinco de Mayo is on May 5th this year???
Oh wait. I knowed that alreddy. Was on mai *bzzzzt* Fireman-a-Day callendar.
By happy kwincidence, I grabbed a jacket outta teh closet this morning that I haven’t weared for a while. I forgetted when I grabbed it that a) it was Cinco de Mayo and 2) teh jacket has a pin in teh lapel that is a silver kitteh mah naybor bringed me back from teh Mesico.
hay wait!
it IZ teh sink o’ teh mayo!
Wuzzn’t we supposed to be hazzing a fiesta todai?
maybe wif scantily dressed Mexican hat dansers?
It is awfully HAWT in Mecksico, u noes.
O Hai guys, ai is cookin teh dinner an ai has tragickly over catered. Ai has enuff for elebenty peeps and tehr is only me an Mr SJ heer. Duz annywun want to come over? Ai has teh roste lamb an homemaed unyun soss, teh rosted sweet potayto, an teh veggies. If u brings teh dessert, we is awl set!
Ai maded dubble chocchip AND lemonanwytchoc cukkies tihs mornin – Ai’ll be ober for dinner in twenny minits!
*psst, it’s strate daon teh M4 an left at teh pub, rite?*
Can I come? I bring orange mousse cake
no it ar not poizon,
ar delishus and sum what nootrishus
Ai wud luv to come,too! Ai cud bring sum creemee tapioca pudding wif fresh strawberries. Aill just follow Ambercat!
But wayte!! Ai thot yoo libbed rite across teh street? Oh – rite – yoo mooved daon tteh block!
Plz to both be coming rite nao! Ai will tie a balloon awn teh gate so u no witch hows it is. Hold awn, we duz nawt has a gate….
well taht maeks yu eben eesyer to fynd; strate daon teh M4 to teh haus wiv no gate!
I am eggsited to come also!! Ill bring a nanerkokonut kreem pi wif mirangay
on tawp. I wil beez on mai unicycle..
Wadda purrcoshus kitteh! Dey growub so fazt deez days….
Milee Cyrus Kitteh seemz to hab losted hur silk sheet.
tween kitteh poses provacatibely
centurfold of the nu Playkitteh magazine
no, iz noo “Pethaus” maguzeen
Titanic picture for the win!
Kate ! Like, srsly, is U? Wow!!!
*snerk*
Dis is inzpiration.
leeza-b ???
u stil heer??
jus wunted 2 sae herro nayburr!
o hai chzfrnz! hao r u 2dae?
ai droppin in wile teh dinnur is b cookin bai mai hyoomn
she sew slo! ai smellz teh met cookin an teh shrooms 2! ai likez teh shrooms in
teh reel buttah!
“Huree up hyoomin!” dat wil speed tings alawng!
Ohai Rosie!!!
*muah* *muah*
Cud I budder yu up 4 sum ‘shroomz, tew???
Adn maibe a stake 4 under tehm???
O hai idansdansdans! *hed bonk + purrsss*
lolz sew sawree, teh hyoomin habs no stake…she gotz teh chewee meetz dat
doan cost sew mush, cuz she cheep! lolz
Ai sneek u sum shrooms doe! *pads siluntlee 2 kitshun…grabs shrooms off
teh plaet…careez shrooms in mouf an dropz at i dansdansdans paws*
Tel meh hao u liekz dem!
Hooo Boi!!! Tehm’s teh bestist!! I fink I detskt a liddel nip o’ sherry in dere…
I puts tehm on mai cheezburger.
*fanks*
omgtitanic…wuz such a gud movie. I wachd and got a sad. Y U dai, jack?
*Iz buried hart o’de oshun in litter box furst…fer safekeepin*
I beeleev ur bluhshing, mistur arteest
didnt ur finushin skewl teech u 2 hok furbalz liek uh reel tomkitteh?
LOL! Total Titanic reference. I love it. Whoever thought of this was very clever.^^
der ar doez ov us hoo can remembrz teh qwoets, an den der ar doez ov us hoo maeks dem up owrselfs.
aww! *snorgle* ish a fuddhy pic… u seens da moovie?
I am not going to type this response in LOLspeak because I want you (the creator of this brilliant piece) to take it seriously:
This is so. so. so. funny. I laughed out loud, loudly, and sent it to everyone I know. Amazing.
hahaha thank youuuu…at least i accomplished one thing in life
Twister/Ocean gei sez: “Hawt pic. I can has big diamond now plz?”
Polo shirts,lacoste polo shirts, wholesale polo shirts,