you killed a man? I jus scratch sofa
but eye hadz gud reeson 2 kill hoomin.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: danap
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Boy! What a tough judge! Sheesh!
Congarats Maus!!! Wut songndans u liek dis fien Mawndai morning?
Amber haz started teh song. Lets continyoo beelow…
N ai guess the dans iz teh fandango…
Comcastyoolayshunz, Maus! Ur havin kwite a run ov nawt-sekkundz lst wiik, an nao u do it aggen! Wut u wantz thsi Mundai mornin fer sillybrayshunz?
hai ebberone i brought my special no bake cookies..a nd updates of da new baby gooosie
yu haz baebee goozy? oboy.
mmhm hez names be small fry. hez follows meh ebbywer
O.O omg!!! teh kyut!!! whut kinna goozy? Iz yu guna has to lern to flye sowf foar wintur so as foar teech him da wae?
Wut wuz taht moovee? “Fly Away”? PCB gonna hafta get a liddle by-plain an teech teh babbee goosie, jus liek taht!
I tink moovy name “Fly Away Home”
*Wispurrs to zaubeflote* Ai think Maus lieks beeing in teh taupe spawt. . .*styfuleded snikur*
DOL! DOL! DOL!
Wassa matter Maus, u gotz a fyre in ur pokkitz agin ?
*wyde eyeded innosent luk* Waht did ai say??? Wai awn URTH wud yoo think taht ai wud eber EBBER thiink waht I think you thot ai thot!!!
JCH4K confusin meh wit werds. Yer doin it rite.
Aim confused.
Awww Klolzz!
Thank yew!! Tahr ar mai speshulltee – confewsing peepl wif werdz!
Iz nao problem.
Ai iz confewzed eazyli….
……oooowwwwwww shiney……
Waht do DOL mean?
die uf laffter
*wisspurrz bakk to JCH4K wif moar styffld snkkrz* Well, hez goin abowt it rite aint he? How he duz it so cornsistuntlee tho??????
As I always say, “It’s all in the wrist”…
*whispers*
To be honest, it’s because Cookie’s Human and Mary O’Spockin haven’t been here. When they’re around, I’m lucky to get one “nawt secund” a week. They are FAST!
Mai eggzjyoos is, if you don’t hit reload at exactly the right moment, somebody else did, and they hit teh jackpot. So,u, Maus, wuz tawp spawt eben in teh supercalifragilisticexpialidocious rase for Rosie! U gots teh fast compyooter *and* teh wrist ob teh majikz!
ai juz thot it wuz ‘kuz y’all kud see when da nex pozt gunna be. I has dat too, tho I tryz nawt to has aboos ov teh privlij.
Ohai Elfi!! hao r u?? Enny bedderer? An hao u noez wen teh next wun comz? Iz dat wut RSS duz? Ai jus noez, 6:00 am, 9:00 am, noon, eggsetterah.
ohai, Zauberflote! I thottid ov yu dis wieken’, I gotsd a noo fone, it iz kewl, it haz ringoan kalld “zauberflote” an I wuz laik…. see, ai knowz dat meenz majik floot!!
I has sum bettur! I had viruzz las wiek but nao is teh betturs!! I sawd mai huzbin an mai BastoKat dis wieken’ too, dey wuz gud.
Maebee is kuz ai iz nuggit dat ai kan see nex post. Ai thottd yu gyez kud too kuz ov da rase dat wuz mennee daez ago, when kiti wuz sad nobudy kaem to partey.
o yah, btw… mai noo fone, it has werd-spel sugjeshtin feetchur. Well, it alzo lernz noo werdz, so ai teechd it teh lolspeek. nao whenevr ai start a werd wif “o”, it immeedyitlee sugjezt “o hai”.
Iz a win fone!!
Iz teh HTC Mogul, iz frum zprint.
lolz!!
lolz… mai phon has teh text perdicshun too and when ai type in 664 for OMG it suggests N64. Ai fink mai phone is a nerd. Ai lieks it.
Ai need a nerdee fone!!! DO. WANT!
Akshullee, Ambercat is reelee fast, too! She mite hold teh rekord.
HELLO AUT THERE!!! IZ ENEBUDDEE KEEPIN REKORDZ???
You’re right: Amber also.
As for record-keeping, it looks like you just volunteered…
“The squeaky wheel gets greased”
Tehn AI’LL bee bizzeee – an YOO can put teh furst varietee show togedder!
Ai’ll halp, if yoo laike!!!
Did ai just heer a Maus squeeking???
I can sellz tikets fur dis?
U guys krak meh up.
Iz betteh dan pro wrestlin.
LOL!! An yoo krak meee up!!
Shur yoo can sell teh tikkets!! Oar bee innit. Ai stagehandan just sined yesterday! An Leeza-b iz lawnging to feel teh hot spot ov teh staj litez awn her face.
It wud halp if yoo wud sign up an joyn teh cheezfrenz. Taht wud bee ar rehearsal plaice.
an yoo mite liek it there eneway. It’s awl just peepl frum heer – an there we can reelee tawk. An yoo can emayol frenz frum there, too.
Doo yoo know hao to doo it?? AMBERCAT – ar yoo still heer?? Can yoo tell klolzz waht to doo???
Ai neber faound aut hao to join teh cheezfenz site.
I can haz membership?
Yup, Ai rite teh addy in disgize
*puts awn Groucho glasses an mustash*
h t t p : / /
groups.yahoo.com
/cheezfrenz
ai can join grup too?
Of corse!!! Ebreewun heer iz welcom to joyne! Taht’s waht it is FOR!!
Ai awlwayz say taht – but peeple just dont reed it, ai guess, so ai just started gong around isshuing ter purrsonal invitashuns.
Teh PROBLEM iz – ai’m nawt shur hoo belawngs an hoo duzznt. The list ov peeple bai there ICHC naymes is nawt complete!
So nao’s a gud tym to amynd peepul – wen yu joyn teh cheezfrenz, plees to compleet teh “Name List” in teh Database and plees to sine yur messijes wiv yur ICHC naem, so we kno hoo yu R!
1> Janet, u needz myoozikshunz, rite? Ai kan halp wif dat!
2. Cheezfrenz iz a Yahoo group, so I think you just go to Yahoo, find groups, search for Cheezfrenz, and do the signup thing. I think htat’s what I did. But I still haven’t figured out (u noe, itz hard to speel rite heer) how the place is organized, sigh…
Ai know!!1 Ai had a hard teim too, but then Ambercat tuk mee bai the hand an literallee showed mee ebreething.
But – Ambercat. Cud we – is there a plaice where a tutorial cud be Put? Thast wud hav halped mee a lot!! But maybee even bee awn the frunt page where teh welcome speech is.
It maed a HYOOJ difference – yoo showing mee waht to do. An still ai get mixed up a little!
teh ideeah ob a tyootoryal has been sujested kwite a fyoo tyms – but if its ritten bai sumwon familyar wiv tehse tings Ai donut tink tohse ob us hoo arnt wud unnerstan it! Ai cud ekslayn to yu cos Ai’m gnu to forums an websyts an stuff too.
Tehre is teh cheezfrenz.com/forum for discussin hao we’d lyk teh cheezfrenz syt to gro, but Ai donut rilly unnersatn hao it werks!
Mai IT illitracey – let me sho it to yu!
*sigh* mine too!!
But – sum wun hoo noes cud rite it – an then we cud revue it to see if it maed snes to thoz ov us hoo ar – nawt so eggsperienced as sum!!
Taht wud werk.
or yu cud awl com raond mai haus, wiv yur laptops, and martoonees and sossijes awn stiks, an Ai’ll sho yu! Yeh, taht’d werk teh best!
Yur AWN!!! com waht may!!
But ai don’t yet hav a lappytop. Guess ai’ll hav too think about that!
*** arrives a littul flustery and out uv breff **
Um, did I just heer my name? Wuz that JCH4K ? or wuz that the stage callin me??
Itz teh maus frum unner teh couch frum lower awn teh thred…..
I think my ‘puters will be having too many problems to do that. Work has to come “nawt secund” you know…
*Tip-toes into the Maus Hole and closes the door*
Bawk bawk bawk!! Maus iz a chik-kin, Maus iz a chik-kin!
Maus!! Cum bak heer! R U a man oar a maus?
*Comes out of The Maus Hole*
Lighten up people. I am going to help with the show. Janet and I were just having a little battle of wits. Of course, I was battling with an un-armed person…
*Scampers back to The Maus Hole*
Eben wifowt arms, Janet roolz.
She’s mostly armless.
Being unarmed iz teh pits.
dere’s a 2nd ammendyment fer dat
well… assuming yer in teh Amerryka
Well tha’s no good.
*tears up 10,000 tickets he just made to sell*
Ai cantz maek cheezbuger moneh outa dis.
Owell back to teh drawin bord.
hay loo! klolzz jus made konfetti for our nex partee!!!!
*runs, jumps, rolls around in big confetti pile* wut? dat wasn’t wat i wuz sposed to do?
We Brit peeps has teh advantij for teh furst post ob teh dai – for us is at eleben o’clok an we shud awl be owt ob bed bai tehn, but for teh Merkan peeps, an odder cheezpeeps arown teh werld, is teh miggle ob teh nite an tehy shud be sleepin
Soooo, wen izza miggle ob nyte obber der in TTI? Mebbe wii Merkans kin hasa chans, mebbe if oar brainzez werks fass
Well, teh larst 2 piks ob teh dai R at eleben pee em an wun o’clok in teh mornin, in Britland. If we has werk/skool in teh mornin we rilly shud be in bed bai tehn – Ai sai “shud” but yu offen fynd me an Tidmum, an sumtyms Klolz, still heer, espeshully if martoonee is involvd!
Hokay, fanks. Wut tyme izzit dare nao? It B almos seben firty in Yoo Ess ob AAA
Is free firty in teh afternoon. U must be awn teh west coste, fikshunkitteh?
Pimms o’clok! Cheers!
Eggsellent! An it is teh SUMMER offishully heer (as it has nawt rainded for at least free howrs). Teh British summer werks liek dis.
1. Stawps rainin
2. Eberybuddy starts mowin teh lawn (0.0004 seconds later)
3. Ai gets teh hayfeeber (0.000000001 seconds after 2)
‘Choo!!!
Oahi SJ. Sowwy bowt teh haybeefer. besh you!
Yes, Ai on teh “rite” coste in usuably sunny SoCal (obercassed todai)
Ah, bud did yu cii what da kitteh skratced da sofa with? Ibe neber ceen a kitteh lift an ollifant bifore.
mama! Juss killt a man! Putta gunagenst hims hed. Pullt teh trigger, nao hims ded…
Scatamouse, Scatamouse, wont yoo doo teh fandango…
Himz just a por kitteh, from a por fambily…
Spare him hims lief, coz he is so floofeeee…..
tunderbot n litnin, bery bery fritnin
Gali -lol-lol, Gali-lol-lol!
basement cat has a dogvil put aside 4 me, 4 me, 4 me
*rokkin gitar solo*
his lif had jus beegun…
oh nos poor kitteh!
mornin,Britt,
i wud hav just given teh kitteh tyme served n community service-mayB pikin up loose paper n littered shiny tings
hai kay
dat sounds less horribles
I ar innocent, they iz violating my kitteh civil right
call mah lawyer….
♫ Send lawyers, guns and money… ♫
Warren Zevon FTW!!
Don worrey, li’l pal
I adops u reel soon
corse eye alsew:
horked upp a hairball onnit
peed onnit
chewed it
spilled nip onnit
lett neighborhud kittehz inn tu partay onnit
tracked litter onnit
dragged mye butt onnit
nockeded mommiez drink ober onnit
pooped onnit
jumpeded onna potatoe chip bag an got chipz awl ober it
frew upp onnit
knocked da plant from da shelf down onnit
gotz hair awl ober it
And your point is…?
Butt aie ar soooo cyooot an floooofeeeee. . .
Dat kitteh duzznt noe how to apf…phabta…lolph…put things in ABC order yet!
Arched back and inserted claws
Borked fabrikz wif clawz
Chewd it
Draggd butt awn it
Effervessint waterz duzznt clean up mess
Frew up awn it
G…
Gotz hareawl ober it
Horkked up hareball awn it
I…
Inserted claw an wented *pik* *pik* *pik*
Jumpeded onna potatoe chip bag an got chipz awl ober it
Knocked da plant from da shelf down onnit
Lett neighborhud kittehz inn tu partay onnit
M….
Mite has bin teh wun dat put awl dem kiti-toiz der
Not gunna menshin whut ai did to teh bak-ov-kowch frow-blankee
O yah an ai kinna eetid da pilloz, too
Piddld on ur favrit thro-pillo
Quyitlee poopd behin’ it too, but yu hasn fownd dat yet
R….
recked it up reely sumfin feerce
Spilt nip onnit
Tastid *pleh* so yakked onnit
U
Uzd it as butt-skratchr
Vishisslee attakd teh armrezt
W…
Widdled onnit
Xitedly jumped onnit wif da pointee endz owt
Yowleded awl nite onnit cuz ai wuz lonelee
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzed onnit
Wizzed onnit
Xcaped B4 yoo sawwit
Yakked onnit agin
ZOMG, Ai iz sowwy
*hed bonk, luks wiff inno sent ais
Man, wii haz 1.9 alfabetz heer! Whoo!
Yep, sum ob R teh slo R tiperz
Maked a pikture out ov teh damage.
Nicked teh timber next to teh fabrik with mai clawz.
Oberdid it on teh katnip wen ai did dis.
P
insta gated a riot onnit
jumpeded onna tater chip bag n spilt
Kilt a skwoooshy bug onnit
L
marked it wiff my cent
Nockeded mommees drink awl obber it
Ohai, did lossa miss cheevy us stuff onnit
P
Losted mai brivver under da cushun
Mowse? Wut ded mowse?
Needed litter box butz cudnt wate
Offended teh narsty tawmcat an he sprayded it!
P…
Rippd a big hole in teh bottum
Stuffed haff a ded burd insyd, for layter, an forgot…
Tuk awl teh stuffin owt ob it
U…
Ungrasefullee nokked ober anovver drinkie awn it
Visshusslee clawded it sum moar
Watcheded tv wile havvin a baff awn it
X….
Xtrikayteded teh ded burd frum the bottom an tossed it abawt in frunt ov teh companee
Y. . .
Yurkeded up sum moar hareballz
Zeroed owt ur cable accownt!
Yankd teh bit taht holds it awl togebber rite off
Zzzzzzizzed awn it for howrs na howrs and left lots ob floof behynd!
Oh, an i alzo splorted 973 Cheezfrenz.
I killd mous in Reno.
Juzta watch it dye.
Wen ai hear teh baftub fillin
Ai hangz mai hed n cry.
i bet deres rich kittehs eatin cheezburgers off a fansy silver playt
Dis wuz shirly a looooooon tyme ago
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1xSt7iganA
Fank u fur dat Fikshunkitteh.
Iz eggselent song.
I can haz danz fur dis song?
Shirly Klolzz!
*stomp slyde heel tap, heel tap, twistee twistee
Aaaaaaagh! U beet me tu it!
http://icanhascheezburger.com/?s=why+u+in+here
Dat wuz de quesston. Diz iz de anser.
Memmer “Folsom Kitteh BLuez:? wen ai ged haum ai luk up (kept a copee cuz ai laiked so mush) and post it again, ib no one elze hazzit.
Rlly haurd tu beleeieve taht WUN liddle kitteh dyd awl teh abov stuff;
(Caption sez hims jes skrautched teh fuyrnishure)
Wel, hims rites haz bin difineteley vyohlatyid;
Weez haz sekured a Phillymadelfia lolyer whooz aurgueing kitteh’s caise rite naow;
Hmmmmm, lolyer sez Judge haz decydid tu leyt kitteh goe, moastlee becuz hims iz tu smaull tu staiy inna cell bye hisseylfe oavernite wifaowt hims mommeh!
u raite – iz hardda beleef one liddel kitteh did ahl dat! Sumtings were done bai udder kittehs n goggies n got pinned on him.
Ai glad he geddin oud cuzza his yungage
Qter than Qte — ai prayz sumbudii purrfekt adoptz zis kitten rait awayyyy!!!
waow, ai ges ai naot zo gud atz lolspeak aftare awl… ai wud havz thot dat da leenk leadz two da won dat sez “I killed a man, why you in here” fo sho!
(peacks ot frm bushees whr bin lurkin adn wachin fur weaks). ai can join cheezfrenz two? Klolzz ded u git singed in an sufft? ai neber maed it in. ai gots brnannr puddn too shar.
Oh, gud a noo buddee, an wid brnnannar puddin too! Welcum todeh club!!! Mebbe ebberyun juzzabout leff diz thred, trai again wid nooer one, laik kitteh all bunnled up cept for reerend.
Here’s Folsom Kitteh Bloos. Dunno hu wrotted it – wazntme!
Hewwo – ayem jonnee kash]
Aye heerz teh kitteh kummin
an aye sees hiz poyntee enz
butt he ain’t seen teh gushifud sins ai doen no wen,
Heez stuk in dopshun prizun, an tym keeps dragon on
Butt dat kitteh keaps a-hopin, four a furevuh hoam.
Wen hee wuz jus a kittin, hiz mommee tol him, Sun,
alwaes luk yer kyootest, an nyse peepuls will kum
Butt heez sittin dere in Petco, an he’z a wun-da-rin
f todae wil be teh dae dat, hiz ship kums in.
He noes tehres kittehs eetin gushifud an taybul scraps
an sleepin on a grate big lether sowfa, takin naps,
An he hoaps dat wun dae sun, heel be wunn of dem
Butt teh dopters keepz on wawkin, nobuddee wonts him.
Butt noa dey free him frum dis prizon, an dey putz him inaboks
An dey tooks him to a famblee dat will lets him plae wiv soks
Fur frum dopshun prizun, dat’s wehre he wonts two stae
an teh kitteh iz so happeez, an naps hiz daes awae
FTW!!!!!
Dat b so kool!!!
Jajeh, wut a fyn jawb. Yew has a talint fur teh leerix.
*cwapz foofie paws
Note mai commind at deh tohp …. ai waznt deh wraiter. Dunno hu waz…a cheezfrenz, but unfurshanately ai dont hab wid lyricx.
This is funny as all getout!
(Someone translate to LOLCAT please)
Ummmm, yuu wunt yuur fraze translyated tu LOLCAT jes az yuu rote iyt???
Hokay;
“Tihs iys funneh az awl geytaowt!!!!!1111!!!!!
(Iys OK?????)
i can has GET OUT OF JAIL FRE card
love it.
i can haz forgiveness pretty pweas? TIA
iz dat the orang vershun ov cheez kitteh? TOTL PWNAGE!!!1!1!
Kitten is the victim! They are the criminals. They tortured Kitty for years. The only positive is that they have exposed their tyrannical lawless nature.