handy pocket creature

handy pocket creature iz happy to anticipate ur needs
i guess u nawt antisipate dat we wuz awt of toylet paper.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: darlinjenny
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handy pocket creature iz happy to anticipate ur needs
i guess u nawt antisipate dat we wuz awt of toylet paper.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: darlinjenny
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

Pull my finger!
oh maus…do i haves to?
maus, u gotted in trubble wif teh same sort uv thing yesturday…. did u lern nothing in fyre prevenshun class?
Gud mornin awl! Conpokkitashunz Maus awn ur f-f-l! But u gonna haffta taek fyre prevenshun class agin, I saw u wuz at teh bottomov teh class!
fier prevenshun eesily accumpished with this handy minichur fier blankit!
Ohai Trudi! I iz zauberflote, I bleeve wiiz neber met? *happytayle an rub cheek* Nao bowt tihs minnichoower fyre blankit? Wii shud prolly put dat wif the CCC, it will com in berree handee sumtyme! Fank yew!
Yeah: I iz not wearin my asbestos shorts… An hoping tehre’s sum ladee fyremun’s onna truck todai…
*runz orf to fyre stashun*
*pant pant* Hey u guise, whoz awn teh roster todai? Oh? Dat’s gud! Y? No, I fink I nawt tellin u y, k? thnxbai!
*runz bakk, pant pant, huff puff*
Maus, tehy gotz nawt wun but 2 laydee fyremenz onna trukk todai!
*takes out cigarette lighter*
*lights it*
*casually drops it in his pocket*
*FWUMMPH*
Halp! Halp! My pants is on fier! Halp!
oh noes!!
**runs to get hose**
**but hose iz BERY heavy! Luks arownd but there are no fyremenz to pick up teh heavey hoeses**
**grabs xtra bowl uv whippy creem batch in progress and pours it down Maus’s pants**
.
WHEW! Maus u scared me there! Itz all out nao! No thanks nessesserry, happie to halp!!
Uh Oh… heer comes teh laydie fyremenz… sowry Maus!! They wuz takin too long! I hadz to do sumthin!!
Theyre nawt laffing.. at u… they haz smoke in their eyez!!
Um… how abowt a niece peese of pi??
Look at the laydee fyremenz! Tehy eech has two huge… tanks. I wunder whuts in ‘em?
Wippy creme, no dowt…..
Tracts of land?
*snerk!*
O leeza-b, ROFLBBQTANSTAFL!!!!!!! I seez teh laydee fyremenz haz drug Maus orf to teh nawty barn. I iz herd wun ob tehm murmurring (oooh, yum!” an likking her chopz……
ebberybuddee stay way frum teh NB!!! Maus iz in big truubul owt tehre, an itz hiz own fawlt, too!
****running back frum the Ty Booteek*****
*******gasp, pant, gasp, gasp************
Oh pooey.. he left befoar I cud giv him these FRUs, I gotted them speshul just fur Maus! They haz little matchez on them. Oh wellz, I am shure he’ll be glad to haz them later! Won’t he?
FRU’s?? Funny Randy Undies?? Fyre Retardant Underwarez?? Did I get it??? I iz lukked in teh wikii, but dint see FRU. Plz to elu…iilooos…dyayt…. tell moar!
Az LCB wuld say, DINGDINGDINGDING!!!1! U goddit! Fyre Retardent Unnerwares. Dey cumming in handee awn seberal freds yesterdai.
ackshully, I gotted that frum LCBs commints yesturdai. I FINK it was ackshully Flayme Retardint Unnerwares. I was calling them HRUs (Heet Resistint Unnerwares) but LCB haz furst hand nollije on this subjeck, so I was deferring to hur expertees in this areaz.
I wud b thinking taht mz LCB wud b habbing
BOTH hand nolijez.
Hmmm.. Purrhaps furst hand, oberhand, underhand and slite ov hand!!
My, tihs cud get owt of hand!!
*facehand*
Ai heerz hiz skreemz… Ai wishez ai cuud helpz him…
.
*RUNZ TWOARD NAWTEE BARN*
con-rat-ulations maus…whut is dat littlol guy? a sugar glidr?
u want sum sugary treets an some kinda song like “man on da flyin trap peas”?
Dunno whut teh liddle guy is, but he’s a cyooty! Lesse, for teh shugery treets, lets eat sumting so sweet it maeks yer teeth hurt: Capn Crunch surreal. An dat song will be gud. Meebe sum one heer noes how to trap peas too.
ohhh, i likes capn crunch!
Trappin peas: ol Apple-achyun trick. First, OOPS
er, nawt-sekkund, u watez fur teh carkk ov teh moom. Den u wanderz owt into teh woodz. Den ur sweetie iz owt der two. Den u haz teh hankie-pankie…
Hmmmm, I reedin the instrukshuns rong! Dis nawt be trappin peas! Dis be “trappin he’s”!
wutz dis “cark ob the moom”? Dark wud b bedder!
hai and gud mornin Zauberflote!
Glad to see u haz recovvered from ded yesterurdai!!
R u shure ur nawt describin a snype hunt? Sownds awfully teh same to me….
*wisspurrz* Shhh leeza-b, u iznt spozed to tell!!!!!
Fankz 4 inkwyrin abowt mai helff! I seemz ok todai, but u nebber noez….
I luuked awn googlimujez an it lukz liek a shugar gliyder. Or wii cud sing, Up, Up and Awa-ay!
Am skeerd to post here cuz aim not fluents in Lol BUT I AM VEEERY fluents in SUGARGLIDER!!! And that IZ one. I haz 3 and I mus tell you that they luvs mealworms way more than crackers. Mealies iz da cheezburgerz of da suggie wurld.
mi shugar glydar iz afeared ov tha meelwerms. iz not afeard ov lolkittehs tho!
if he sugar glidur I jealous
want.
congradumalations maus… i have too many muffins and coockies thts i made dis morning and i has puddings toos anyone wants sum??
Oooh yum! U haz ennee chawklit puddingz?
eye sure dose *passes zuberflote amnys chawklit puddings*
Nom nom nom sluuuurp, YUM! *turns awai an licks owt teh bowl* Fank yew pcb! Dat wuz deeelishus an taystee!
dat reminds meh i tink u coulds wins at an eating contest
Id sure cheers us on!
ohs goodness i donts feels so great…*rambles on about how shes has to do a 4′X6′ drawing in on week* blahs oh *Splorrrrt*
Oh deer u ben laying heer a long tyme pcb!!
.
*Dragz in CCC.
*Rummijing noyses.
Ok. got deh brum n dust pan.
.
*Sweepee, sweepee, sweepee.
Gots awl deh braynezez keralled.
.
*Scoop, scoop, scoop.
*Gentlee puttingz dem bak in deh hed.
*Tuk, tuk, tuk,
Ooops 1 trying 2 b getting away. I cautting him!!!
*Tuk, tuk.
Wii hab a 1950s baving cap 4 u.
Oshun bloo wif see shellz ok?
*fastenz chin strap.
.
Tuk u up in deh floofee blankee.
heerz a chokklit possum,
Adn a hot chokklit wif deh whippe creme.
Dere, u b ok in a liddul bit.
tank u. Cweenmj. i wills go to sleeps now.
yay! shugar gliderz r teh kewlest!!!
(I have three!) ^_^
EEwwwww! A Llama!
Doan be takin mah cheezie!
Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
Mommy, he’s takin’ my cookie!
Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
It’s mine, understand?
.
Mine, all mine! Get back down there! Down down down! Go go go! Mine mine mine!
.
Mwahahaha!
Duck season!
Wabbit seeson!
Duck seeson!
BLAM!!!!!!
Fudd Season!
taz seezun!
iz sposta goes kynda lyke this:
*COL reeches behind hed, clozez beek, pullz it araownd to prahpurr playse awn front of fayse*
*COL marchiz ober 2 Maus*
“Letzthth thai thithth again… Wabbit Theathun!!”
Dat soundid jus like Daffy Duck!
Wurdpleh diddit agin…dat wuz Suppozt to go under PB2K’s “mine, mine, mine” comment!
oh nos the cameras caught meh! *must finds new hiding spot!*
oh oh oh guiez!!
bestest newz ebber!!
mai fren’s kittteh kylie juss had six liddul bebbehs!!
dey ar so sweet.
if enneewun is in teh shikago airyuh an wuld liek a newbornd bebbeh kitteh, let me no!
der ar sree orunj (but i is cunvinsed not poysun) wuns an sree braon tabbee wuns.
i saw dem an mai hed asplode but mai fren is not a cheezfren so she didunt no wut to do!
i hasd no CCC. but is otay, i all bedder nao.
i am in shikago burbs and no sumwon who wuld like brown tabby boi!
oh, sry…dat wus sposed to next undar 343’s post
arggh, da werdpress is messin wit me todai
343, srsly…clicky on my name and contact me thru mah blog, k? My nayboor been lookin fer new babbeh. His son moved owt an took 2 of da 3 kittehs, so hez lookin for a frend for his utter one.
Sew glad ur all bedder nao, 343! Don show enny pics or wii’ll awl goez ka-splort!!!
must hav pitchers of bebbehs!!
And now… what is your third and final wish?
I can haz cheezgremlin
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elebenty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dis a sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeett bebbeh shuggar fing.
I finkso I do WANT!!!!
Tidmum!!! How IZ yoo??
Did u get ur pyooter fixted??
*Waves floofy paws fyooriussly at leeza-b an awl teh cheezpeeps*
.
Naw.Still nawt fixted,but i mannijed to get dis old slow wun tew let me plai fer a bit.
When der am too mennee commintses it goes awl stoopy awn me an freeziz up
but I r heer fer now.
I miss awl mah frenz!!
Hope u can nawt-freeze awn Caturdai. Itz Tribblez birfday an wii’r habbin a (happy)taylegayte partee fur teh Kentukky Derby. Food competisshunz an fancy hatz and decorate ur car an awl!
Yee Haaawww!! Tidmum’s bakk!!!! *runz up, happyteyle an purrrrrrin fit to beet teh band*
*Happitayl danses,hedbonks an schmoos*
**dans dans dans**
So how r u, and how is Mr. Tidmum and yr littul chikkees?
Awl otay.
Angsty wun gowin onna watersports ventjure weekend-iz Bank loliday in TTI awn munday,sew a lawng weekend fer sum ob us.
Teh Pleh! floo had Mr TM an teh Boichik reely bad ,but awl bedder nao!!.
.Hadz teh wunnerful day awn Sunday-Ohai Tee wib ower berree own Ambercat!!
It wuz teh bestest!! We had kawfee an caek,den a walk rown teh village-we fown a statue in a gardin ob teh YNG!!!!
Den we had a beyootiful Ohai Tee wib Qcumber an salmonomnom sammijes,teh scones an kreem an jam an teh most teeny tinee liddle caeks,Earl gray tee,awl serbed to us by a lady dressed in olde worlde kostume.
We talked an talked an talked for 6 howers! we had teh martoonies also.
Ooh oh oh we wared teh Hats an glubs
If enneboddy am a cheezfrenz member der am sum photo’s ob us in a album.Go see!!!
.
ArgggggHHH Iz funder an litenin RITE NAO!!! gotta sabe teh Kittehz brb!!…
ooh Ambercat sed sumthin abowt that yesturday, but I was thinking it wuz a virtual Ohai Tee… but yoo haz Ohai Tee IRL? That sownds so niec!! Wun day I haz to get owt on cheezfrends; I hasn’t been there yet. Alwais too much to do at werks! I wud luv to see yoo all goosied up!!
OHAI TIDMUM!!!!!
.
*runs up an gibs Tidmum a big hug, wile purrrrrrrring an waving teh happytayl all abowt*
.
I cant stai an plai rite nao, but I wanted to at leest sai HI! an dat we miss yoo!
**Runz up wif happeetail.
**Givez tidmum deh purree hedbumpz.
Hai Tidmum!!!
I sawing deh pitcherz uv u adn Ambercat.
I sew jellus uv u bof lukking sew prittee!!!
Adn habbing dhe Oh Hai Tee in deh lubblee liddul
town!! Sew deltieful!
An can I haz a cheezgremlin too? Just a liddel wun? Luk – I haz an emptee pokkit rite heer. Pleez?
All you need is ‘cheez’ part
Da creatures in ur pocketts are stealing ur cheezzies..
WANT!
AI WANTS WUN!
oh noez! dey be stealin mah cheezie!!!1!
PAUL!!! Ai just sent yoo a messaj but ai think WP eeted.
Ai’ve been luking fur yoo!! Ai would laik if VERREE much if yoo wud com an joyne the cheeafrenz. Ai think yoo wud liek it too!!! It’z just awl peepl frum heer at ICHC an we can tawk ov menee things – AND rite to wun anudder az well!!
Ai sent teh link – but fur sum reeson WP duzzn’t like it. Ai’ll go and get it agani – an disguize it! BRB
Oh NOOOS!!! Mai disguized wun dint come throo. Maybe a moar bedder disguiz!!
Ai’ll trai it. OK – yoo know about the w – s an teh ht. .
thing I’m leeving those awt.
NAO we just have the
groups.yahoo.
AND the
com/group/
AND finallee the
cheezfrenz/
wif – oar wiffaut teh final bakslash (ai don’t know!)
fingerz crossed – heer goes!!!
WIN
dat lil creetchur – it be watchin meh! *hides*
o, n doez ennebodee wan all dese extra sweetses from mai cubberds? i goes bak 2 eatin’ proper catkins dietz todai.
*passes out zingers, snoballs n candees*
Ai heps wif teh cuberd cleenowt! *liks creemmee stuffs owt of goodies* NEbuddy lyks sum ewesed zingers n snoballs? Sune ai needs to gets bak tu eetin proppr catkins dye-it!
Fanks for halp, MM!
i finded out sweets not so grate akshually. i eated healthifully for long tiem, den went off catkins waggin – nao i has moar floofiness, n spots.
Enneebodee else? i fink i gotz the bottum ob a boxa choklit chippie-cookie-dough ise creems, too…
ice creams??? i luv icreams!!! can eye has eye cream now?
here u go – big ol bowl ob chokalit chippy cookie dough eyescream wit wippy creem n cheewies awn top.
cheezfwens so nice tu halp remoob temptashuns!
Fuzzee Pawkitt feeng
collekktz lint andz uddurr stuff.
No chawrjj 4 cleeneeng!
Fuzzee Pawkitt feeng
wurkz so hawrdz andz 4 so
liddill inz reeturnz
Fuzzee Pawkitt feeng
lubz ‘Cheez~Itz’! Hewmin will habz
2 neegosheeayt
Jack.
Awww!! “fuzzee pawkitt feeng”
Awl teh burgerz for owr faverutist poet, Jack.
Jack, u iz so berree gud wif teh ohaikoo! I lurved em.
*kwappin foofee pawz*
@@@@@
Jim: Polly wanna krakker?
Polly teh Shuggar Glyder: Why fangz, Jim, but stop kawlin meh Polly! *nom nom nom*
Dis is a Piebald Pink-Nosed Pokkit-Pikker. Verrah useful for cleening lint, crums, an uther things owt of pokits, cuffs, sofa-cushuns, an other hard-to reech plases. Verrah low maintununse, eets most of whut it findz and givez yu teh stuff it dusnt want.
Maeks a grate gift!!
Wants!!
oh yis…u can buy tem from Weazley’s Wizurd Wheezies! 1 galleons eech!
Want! Hau mush? shippin incooded?
Tehy no needs shippin – tehy flies to addressee.
(Yu just gotta be shur yur dressed.)
Hey, that sownds way beddur than a Bald Pick-Pokkit Nose-Pikker!
Sugar gliders! They are so soft!
izzat wut diz creatshur is called?
coz i wuz just gonna akz. and whar can i find one?
hmmmm…..nut shure thems beins pets iz very ethicals….
perfectly legal and ethical thanks. that’s my baby. never happier than with a cheezie in my pocket.
Such a cute suggie!!! I have some suggie lols on here, too! I think yours is better, though…
Wikipedia sez dese liddle guise ar Sugar Gliders;
Sez tehy ar paupuler az petz adn tehy kan glyde az farses az 55 yardses.
Hmmm, pokkit petz taht cud fliey;
Tihs meens tehy cud sleap awl nite iyn yur pokkit;
Adn durieing teh dai, flies aowt tu yur caur adn warsh itz windoes;
(Mebbee weez cud hier hims aowt tu a caur warsh foar ayt leest mynimum wayge)
Awwwww…hau kyoot! Iz a flyin skwirl! I seez dem on BBC dokyoomentry kald “Teh Life Uv Mammulz”. Dey iz amayzin!
Awww, I love sugar gliders ^.^
<3
OMCC!1! IZ DAT A BAT?
Nope, a Sugar Glider, it’s like a flying squirrel actually
Ekshept it more like possum. Flying possums.
Shoogrrr glaidurrr almoas az Qte as kitteh! ALMOAS!!!
Hello !
it’s a batcat !
José
I alwayz had this fantasee uv having mah own persunal bat on a neklace hoo culd eet teh moskeetoes that flies arownd teh hed when owtside upon a summer’s eve. Mebbe this liddel fellow wuld liek an intervyew fur that posishun? No neklace, onlee needz a pokkit.
IZ batkangaruu!
Liek batman, but in ashtraylia!
Is dis not our furst sugar glolider? Himz kyoot! Dey is marsoopials, like teh possums an kangaroos. Dat mus be wy dis liddle guy likes teh pokkit.
I founded lotsa sugar gloliders here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiYNCUXKAy0
Dey is illegal in some states, tho.
Dunno wy.
mah roommate has wun of dese! a possum-bat! or more apropiiately knowhn as sugarrr glider
hes nahm is zeeboo, & he shmells liek pee pee! dey are teh cute! he fliiis round teh room at nite
and landhs on u
but dey has a teef dat cutts deeeeeeep! but et iz ahl worth et wen u watch hem sleeeeeping en hes coconut bed
i wood haz to be sayingz dat da little guy iz wun uv da cuwetest thins evar
PEEPLE:
Iz gon 4 1 wek, an diz sort ov theeng happin.
I has a BEEG sad, an et wil liv en mai hart 4 evr.
I needz pocket crittr. I noe haz. I haz pocketz, noe crittr.
…sniff….
o noe! noe kleex evrr.
poo.
OMG! I love sugargliders!!!
aww suger glider!!! *squee* *stealz*
i wish i cud buy a happeh pocket creature. D: