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handy pocket creature


humorous pictures

handy pocket creature iz happy to anticipate ur needs

i guess u nawt antisipate dat we wuz awt of toylet paper.

picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: darlinjenny

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  1. Maus says:

    Pull my finger!

    • lolnascar says:

      oh maus…do i haves to?

      • leeza-b says:

        maus, u gotted in trubble wif teh same sort uv thing yesturday…. did u lern nothing in fyre prevenshun class?

        • zauberflote says:

          Gud mornin awl! Conpokkitashunz Maus awn ur f-f-l! But u gonna haffta taek fyre prevenshun class agin, I saw u wuz at teh bottomov teh class!

          • Trudi Topham says:

            fier prevenshun eesily accumpished with this handy minichur fier blankit!

            • zauberflote says:

              Ohai Trudi! I iz zauberflote, I bleeve wiiz neber met? *happytayle an rub cheek* Nao bowt tihs minnichoower fyre blankit? Wii shud prolly put dat wif the CCC, it will com in berree handee sumtyme! Fank yew!

        • Maus says:

          Yeah: I iz not wearin my asbestos shorts… An hoping tehre’s sum ladee fyremun’s onna truck todai…

          • zauberflote says:

            *runz orf to fyre stashun*

            *pant pant* Hey u guise, whoz awn teh roster todai? Oh? Dat’s gud! Y? No, I fink I nawt tellin u y, k? thnxbai!

            *runz bakk, pant pant, huff puff*

            Maus, tehy gotz nawt wun but 2 laydee fyremenz onna trukk todai!

            • Maus says:

              *takes out cigarette lighter*
              *lights it*
              *casually drops it in his pocket*
              *FWUMMPH*
              Halp! Halp! My pants is on fier! Halp!

              • leeza-b says:

                oh noes!!
                **runs to get hose**
                **but hose iz BERY heavy! Luks arownd but there are no fyremenz to pick up teh heavey hoeses**
                **grabs xtra bowl uv whippy creem batch in progress and pours it down Maus’s pants**

                .

                WHEW! Maus u scared me there! Itz all out nao! No thanks nessesserry, happie to halp!! :)

                • leeza-b says:

                  Uh Oh… heer comes teh laydie fyremenz… sowry Maus!! They wuz takin too long! I hadz to do sumthin!!

                  Theyre nawt laffing.. at u… they haz smoke in their eyez!!

                  Um… how abowt a niece peese of pi??

                  • Maus says:

                    Look at the laydee fyremenz! Tehy eech has two huge… tanks. I wunder whuts in ‘em?

                  • zauberflote says:

                    O leeza-b, ROFLBBQTANSTAFL!!!!!!! I seez teh laydee fyremenz haz drug Maus orf to teh nawty barn. I iz herd wun ob tehm murmurring (oooh, yum!” an likking her chopz……

                    ebberybuddee stay way frum teh NB!!! Maus iz in big truubul owt tehre, an itz hiz own fawlt, too! ;)

                    • leeza-b says:

                      ****running back frum the Ty Booteek*****
                      *******gasp, pant, gasp, gasp************
                      Oh pooey.. he left befoar I cud giv him these FRUs, I gotted them speshul just fur Maus! They haz little matchez on them. Oh wellz, I am shure he’ll be glad to haz them later! Won’t he?

                      • zauberflote says:

                        FRU’s?? Funny Randy Undies?? Fyre Retardant Underwarez?? Did I get it??? I iz lukked in teh wikii, but dint see FRU. Plz to elu…iilooos…dyayt…. tell moar!

                        • 4½ Kittehs says:

                          Az LCB wuld say, DINGDINGDINGDING!!!1! U goddit! Fyre Retardent Unnerwares. Dey cumming in handee awn seberal freds yesterdai.

                        • leeza-b says:

                          ackshully, I gotted that frum LCBs commints yesturdai. I FINK it was ackshully Flayme Retardint Unnerwares. I was calling them HRUs (Heet Resistint Unnerwares) but LCB haz furst hand nollije on this subjeck, so I was deferring to hur expertees in this areaz.

                        • cweenmj says:

                          I wud b thinking taht mz LCB wud b habbing
                          BOTH hand nolijez.

                        • idansdansdans says:

                          Hmmm.. Purrhaps furst hand, oberhand, underhand and slite ov hand!!

                          My, tihs cud get owt of hand!!

                        • teenie says:

                          *facehand*

                    • woozled says:

                      Ai heerz hiz skreemz… Ai wishez ai cuud helpz him…
                      .
                      *RUNZ TWOARD NAWTEE BARN*

    • lolnascar says:

      con-rat-ulations maus…whut is dat littlol guy? a sugar glidr?
      u want sum sugary treets an some kinda song like “man on da flyin trap peas”?

      • Maus says:

        Dunno whut teh liddle guy is, but he’s a cyooty! Lesse, for teh shugery treets, lets eat sumting so sweet it maeks yer teeth hurt: Capn Crunch surreal. An dat song will be gud. Meebe sum one heer noes how to trap peas too.

        • lolnascar says:

          ohhh, i likes capn crunch!

          • zauberflote says:

            Trappin peas: ol Apple-achyun trick. First, OOPS :oops: er, nawt-sekkund, u watez fur teh carkk ov teh moom. Den u wanderz owt into teh woodz. Den ur sweetie iz owt der two. Den u haz teh hankie-pankie…

            Hmmmm, I reedin the instrukshuns rong! Dis nawt be trappin peas! Dis be “trappin he’s”!

            • zauberflote says:

              wutz dis “cark ob the moom”? Dark wud b bedder!

              • leeza-b says:

                hai and gud mornin Zauberflote!
                Glad to see u haz recovvered from ded yesterurdai!!

                R u shure ur nawt describin a snype hunt? Sownds awfully teh same to me….

                • zauberflote says:

                  *wisspurrz* Shhh leeza-b, u iznt spozed to tell!!!!!

                  Fankz 4 inkwyrin abowt mai helff! I seemz ok todai, but u nebber noez….

      • zauberflote says:

        I luuked awn googlimujez an it lukz liek a shugar gliyder. Or wii cud sing, Up, Up and Awa-ay!

      • Kipluck says:

        Am skeerd to post here cuz aim not fluents in Lol BUT I AM VEEERY fluents in SUGARGLIDER!!! And that IZ one. I haz 3 and I mus tell you that they luvs mealworms way more than crackers. Mealies iz da cheezburgerz of da suggie wurld.

      • Parrot says:

        if he sugar glidur I jealous
        want.

    • puddingcatbritt says:

      congradumalations maus… i have too many muffins and coockies thts i made dis morning and i has puddings toos anyone wants sum??

      • zauberflote says:

        Oooh yum! U haz ennee chawklit puddingz?

        • puddingcatbritt says:

          eye sure dose *passes zuberflote amnys chawklit puddings*

          • zauberflote says:

            Nom nom nom sluuuurp, YUM! *turns awai an licks owt teh bowl* Fank yew pcb! Dat wuz deeelishus an taystee!

            • puddingcatbritt says:

              dat reminds meh i tink u coulds wins at an eating contest 8O
              Id sure cheers us on!

              • zauberflote says:

                8O 8O IRL I finks nawt! but heer on ICHC, enneefing may com 2 pass…. *returnz to licking chopz an washin fase wif pawz*

                • puddingcatbritt says:

                  ohs goodness i donts feels so great…*rambles on about how shes has to do a 4′X6′ drawing in on week* blahs oh *Splorrrrt*

                  • cweenmj says:

                    :shock:
                    Oh deer u ben laying heer a long tyme pcb!!
                    .
                    *Dragz in CCC.
                    *Rummijing noyses.
                    Ok. got deh brum n dust pan.
                    .
                    *Sweepee, sweepee, sweepee.
                    Gots awl deh braynezez keralled.
                    .
                    *Scoop, scoop, scoop.
                    *Gentlee puttingz dem bak in deh hed.
                    *Tuk, tuk, tuk,
                    Ooops 1 trying 2 b getting away. I cautting him!!!
                    *Tuk, tuk.
                    Wii hab a 1950s baving cap 4 u.
                    Oshun bloo wif see shellz ok?
                    *fastenz chin strap.
                    .
                    Tuk u up in deh floofee blankee.
                    heerz a chokklit possum,
                    Adn a hot chokklit wif deh whippe creme.
                    Dere, u b ok in a liddul bit.

    • Taryn, Righ? says:

      yay! shugar gliderz r teh kewlest!!!

      (I have three!) ^_^

    • Mike says:

      EEwwwww! A Llama!

  2. lolnascar says:

    Doan be takin mah cheezie!

  3. Maus says:

    Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
    Mommy, he’s takin’ my cookie!
    Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!

  4. puddingcatbritt says:

    oh nos the cameras caught meh! *must finds new hiding spot!*

  5. 343GuiltySpark says:

    oh oh oh guiez!!
    bestest newz ebber!!
    mai fren’s kittteh kylie juss had six liddul bebbehs!!
    dey ar so sweet.
    if enneewun is in teh shikago airyuh an wuld liek a newbornd bebbeh kitteh, let me no!
    der ar sree orunj (but i is cunvinsed not poysun) wuns an sree braon tabbee wuns.
    i saw dem an mai hed asplode but mai fren is not a cheezfren so she didunt no wut to do!
    i hasd no CCC. but is otay, i all bedder nao.

  6. Hydden says:

    And now… what is your third and final wish?

  7. rodney dill says:

    I can haz cheezgremlin

    • zauberflote says:

      @@@@@@@@@@

      • tidmum says:

        @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
        elebenty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        Dis a sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeett bebbeh shuggar fing.
        I finkso I do WANT!!!!

        • leeza-b says:

          Tidmum!!! How IZ yoo??
          Did u get ur pyooter fixted??

          • tidmum says:

            *Waves floofy paws fyooriussly at leeza-b an awl teh cheezpeeps* :grin:
            .
            Naw.Still nawt fixted,but i mannijed to get dis old slow wun tew let me plai fer a bit.
            When der am too mennee commintses it goes awl stoopy awn me an freeziz up
            but I r heer fer now.
            I miss awl mah frenz!!

            • zauberflote says:

              Hope u can nawt-freeze awn Caturdai. Itz Tribblez birfday an wii’r habbin a (happy)taylegayte partee fur teh Kentukky Derby. Food competisshunz an fancy hatz and decorate ur car an awl!

          • zauberflote says:

            Yee Haaawww!! Tidmum’s bakk!!!! *runz up, happyteyle an purrrrrrin fit to beet teh band*

            • tidmum says:

              *Happitayl danses,hedbonks an schmoos*

              • leeza-b says:

                **dans dans dans**
                So how r u, and how is Mr. Tidmum and yr littul chikkees?

                • tidmum says:

                  Awl otay.
                  Angsty wun gowin onna watersports ventjure weekend-iz Bank loliday in TTI awn munday,sew a lawng weekend fer sum ob us.
                  Teh Pleh! floo had Mr TM an teh Boichik reely bad ,but awl bedder nao!!.
                  .Hadz teh wunnerful day awn Sunday-Ohai Tee wib ower berree own Ambercat!!
                  It wuz teh bestest!! We had kawfee an caek,den a walk rown teh village-we fown a statue in a gardin ob teh YNG!!!!
                  Den we had a beyootiful Ohai Tee wib Qcumber an salmonomnom sammijes,teh scones an kreem an jam an teh most teeny tinee liddle caeks,Earl gray tee,awl serbed to us by a lady dressed in olde worlde kostume.
                  We talked an talked an talked for 6 howers! we had teh martoonies also.
                  Ooh oh oh we wared teh Hats an glubs :lol:
                  If enneboddy am a cheezfrenz member der am sum photo’s ob us in a album.Go see!!!
                  .
                  ArgggggHHH Iz funder an litenin RITE NAO!!! gotta sabe teh Kittehz brb!!…

                  • leeza-b says:

                    ooh Ambercat sed sumthin abowt that yesturday, but I was thinking it wuz a virtual Ohai Tee… but yoo haz Ohai Tee IRL? That sownds so niec!! Wun day I haz to get owt on cheezfrends; I hasn’t been there yet. Alwais too much to do at werks! I wud luv to see yoo all goosied up!!

                  • PwnedBy2Kittehs says:

                    OHAI TIDMUM!!!!!
                    .
                    *runs up an gibs Tidmum a big hug, wile purrrrrrrring an waving teh happytayl all abowt*
                    .
                    I cant stai an plai rite nao, but I wanted to at leest sai HI! an dat we miss yoo!

                  • cweenmj says:

                    **Runz up wif happeetail.
                    **Givez tidmum deh purree hedbumpz.
                    Hai Tidmum!!!
                    I sawing deh pitcherz uv u adn Ambercat.
                    I sew jellus uv u bof lukking sew prittee!!!
                    Adn habbing dhe Oh Hai Tee in deh lubblee liddul
                    town!! Sew deltieful!

    • gremlin says:

      An can I haz a cheezgremlin too? Just a liddel wun? Luk – I haz an emptee pokkit rite heer. Pleez?

  8. puddingcatbritt says:

    Da creatures in ur pocketts are stealing ur cheezzies..

  9. finton says:

    WANT!
    AI WANTS WUN!

  10. paul says:

    oh noez! dey be stealin mah cheezie!!!1!

    • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

      PAUL!!! Ai just sent yoo a messaj but ai think WP eeted.

      Ai’ve been luking fur yoo!! Ai would laik if VERREE much if yoo wud com an joyne the cheeafrenz. Ai think yoo wud liek it too!!! It’z just awl peepl frum heer at ICHC an we can tawk ov menee things – AND rite to wun anudder az well!!

      Ai sent teh link – but fur sum reeson WP duzzn’t like it. Ai’ll go and get it agani – an disguize it! BRB

      • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

        Oh NOOOS!!! Mai disguized wun dint come throo. Maybe a moar bedder disguiz!!

        Ai’ll trai it. OK – yoo know about the w – s an teh ht. . :/ thing I’m leeving those awt.

        NAO we just have the
        groups.yahoo.
        AND the
        com/group/
        AND finallee the
        cheezfrenz/
        wif – oar wiffaut teh final bakslash (ai don’t know!)

        fingerz crossed – heer goes!!!

  11. SillyKitteh says:

    dat lil creetchur – it be watchin meh! *hides*

    o, n doez ennebodee wan all dese extra sweetses from mai cubberds? i goes bak 2 eatin’ proper catkins dietz todai. :(

    *passes out zingers, snoballs n candees*

    • ManfredMom says:

      Ai heps wif teh cuberd cleenowt! *liks creemmee stuffs owt of goodies* NEbuddy lyks sum ewesed zingers n snoballs? Sune ai needs to gets bak tu eetin proppr catkins dye-it!

      • SillyKitteh says:

        Fanks for halp, MM! :D i finded out sweets not so grate akshually. i eated healthifully for long tiem, den went off catkins waggin – nao i has moar floofiness, n spots. :(

        Enneebodee else? i fink i gotz the bottum ob a boxa choklit chippie-cookie-dough ise creems, too…

        • puddingcatbritt says:

          ice creams??? i luv icreams!!! can eye has eye cream now?

          • SillyKitteh says:

            here u go – big ol bowl ob chokalit chippy cookie dough eyescream wit wippy creem n cheewies awn top. :D

            cheezfwens so nice tu halp remoob temptashuns! :D :D

  12. Jack Deth says:

    Fuzzee Pawkitt feeng
    collekktz lint andz uddurr stuff.
    No chawrjj 4 cleeneeng!

    Fuzzee Pawkitt feeng
    wurkz so hawrdz andz 4 so
    liddill inz reeturnz

    Fuzzee Pawkitt feeng
    lubz ‘Cheez~Itz’! Hewmin will habz
    2 neegosheeayt :-)

    Jack.

  13. gremlin says:

    Jim: Polly wanna krakker?

    Polly teh Shuggar Glyder: Why fangz, Jim, but stop kawlin meh Polly! *nom nom nom*

  14. Duffy says:

    Dis is a Piebald Pink-Nosed Pokkit-Pikker. Verrah useful for cleening lint, crums, an uther things owt of pokits, cuffs, sofa-cushuns, an other hard-to reech plases. Verrah low maintununse, eets most of whut it findz and givez yu teh stuff it dusnt want.
    Maeks a grate gift!!

  15. Cottleston Pie says:

    Sugar gliders! They are so soft!

  16. flingdecow says:

    hmmmm…..nut shure thems beins pets iz very ethicals….

  17. CheshireKittehKat says:

    Wikipedia sez dese liddle guise ar Sugar Gliders;

    Sez tehy ar paupuler az petz adn tehy kan glyde az farses az 55 yardses.

    Hmmm, pokkit petz taht cud fliey;
    Tihs meens tehy cud sleap awl nite iyn yur pokkit;
    Adn durieing teh dai, flies aowt tu yur caur adn warsh itz windoes;

    (Mebbee weez cud hier hims aowt tu a caur warsh foar ayt leest mynimum wayge)
    :idea:

  18. Bloostokking says:

    Awwwww…hau kyoot! Iz a flyin skwirl! I seez dem on BBC dokyoomentry kald “Teh Life Uv Mammulz”. Dey iz amayzin!

  19. Phoe says:

    Awww, I love sugar gliders ^.^

    <3

  20. no 1 in particular says:

    OMCC!1! IZ DAT A BAT?

  21. jmuhj says:

    Shoogrrr glaidurrr almoas az Qte as kitteh! ALMOAS!!!

  22. José says:

    Hello !

    it’s a batcat !

    José

    • gremlin says:

      I alwayz had this fantasee uv having mah own persunal bat on a neklace hoo culd eet teh moskeetoes that flies arownd teh hed when owtside upon a summer’s eve. Mebbe this liddel fellow wuld liek an intervyew fur that posishun? No neklace, onlee needz a pokkit.

    • fiendishrabbit says:

      IZ batkangaruu!

      Liek batman, but in ashtraylia!

  23. doctorcat says:

    Is dis not our furst sugar glolider? Himz kyoot! Dey is marsoopials, like teh possums an kangaroos. Dat mus be wy dis liddle guy likes teh pokkit.

    I founded lotsa sugar gloliders here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiYNCUXKAy0

    Dey is illegal in some states, tho. :( Dunno wy.

  24. lollee says:

    mah roommate has wun of dese! a possum-bat! or more apropiiately knowhn as sugarrr glider :D hes nahm is zeeboo, & he shmells liek pee pee! dey are teh cute! he fliiis round teh room at nite :D and landhs on u :)

    but dey has a teef dat cutts deeeeeeep! but et iz ahl worth et wen u watch hem sleeeeeping en hes coconut bed :D

  25. tryne says:

    i wood haz to be sayingz dat da little guy iz wun uv da cuwetest thins evar

  26. peep says:

    PEEPLE:

    Iz gon 4 1 wek, an diz sort ov theeng happin.
    I has a BEEG sad, an et wil liv en mai hart 4 evr.

    I needz pocket crittr. I noe haz. I haz pocketz, noe crittr.

    …sniff….

    o noe! noe kleex evrr.
    poo.

  27. Maggiemay says:

    OMG! I love sugargliders!!!

  28. danwenalski says:

    aww suger glider!!! *squee* *stealz*

  29. Neko-chan says:

    i wish i cud buy a happeh pocket creature. D:



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