Day 2:
Day 2: They give me cold gruel and reading material. What do they WANT?
picture: stripedsnake. lol caption: ganwil
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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we wunt yur kyut. We needz it foar powaring owr brane-splorturz.
yeww see, littul kitteh, we kannot taek ovur teh werld unlezz teh hyuminz ar incap… inka… um… disaybuld. Yur kyut wil be addid to owr kyut-banks an’ den we wil relees teh massiv splort-waev to teh hyuminz awl at wons!!!!! Den planit wil be ourz!!
splort waev FTW!
o indoobitublee, littul kitteh. We wil prevayl, howevar. Wif yur kyut addid to teh kyut ov millyinz an’ millyinz ov othur kitnz, teh hyuminz wil be powarlizz!! Dey wil awl be hed-splortid, wif not enuf CHRG’s an’ baffing kaps an’ duktaep to go arownd, dey will beez owr mindlizz zombehs. Dey wil maekz uz cheezburgrz forevar!!
Mebbe dey wants to brake yoo ub yore cuteness?
Dey want ur snorgles.
she lubs 2 snorgle
Kitteh is clearly too smrt for teh hoomens. Nos to hold out foar gushy fudz!
whats this kitteh sezs? no lolspek?? not lol kitteh !! no vot
whut? Iz gurl kiti.
iz onlee day 2…she will lern da lolspeek soon.
Ha! Waht U noaz! kitteh iz flu-ant n elebentee langwiches. Him finkin noe 1 unnerstans iffin him uzez hoomin 2 mudder 2 self…
Is elebentee hundred ant elebentee eleben, aksualli.
Kitteh has teh edumacayshuns.
mebbe kitteh no lolspeak to getz our attenshun. ef he use lolspeak, we mae tink he bein kyut and tink et awl a beeg joke or sumpin.
dey wantz ur brayn. So reed ur smartz and eet ur fud
An pee awn teh floor, an pracktiss scratchin awn teh scratchin post so dat wehn dey lets you owt, you can unleesh hell awn teh cowch!
You’ll hav 2 read Btween teh lines….
Dere’s LIONS in heer? Mummy!!!
oops dis shud have gawn under teepee’s commint. Ai has premachewr postin.
@@@@@ U maid mii snarfle mai tee
Jus booklion, don wurry.
Booklions, and booktigerz, and bookbears, oh MY!
elebeen langwiches and redding betwen lions. hed aspoldes soon.
du dey maek Chrg dis small?
I can haz fingercot?
Ur finger needz to taek a napz?
…..meenswhale..Hey Elfinugget! Conga Ratz U qwik-fingerd (wif ‘posabul fumb) cheezpeep. Iz Caturdai n U b kneadin 2 Partea! Song & Dans purrhaps?
oooh! Yethpliz!!
Foar song, I wud laik um “teh fyutchur so brite I gotta ware zhaeds”, foar dans, I wud laik mai ruummaet to do konga-lain wif lonmowar awl ovur mai frunt lon, but him nawt kowoperaetng.
Meenwhyl, I wil kommenss wif a rownd ov toaztid hamminswizz sammishes on potaetoz bred, wif ztroberry-banangl smooveez.
Iz gettin chili hear in NJ, n toaztid hamminswizz sounz lubberlee. Ais gotz sum neyes rushin Wry bred iffin U wanna tri taht 2. Abowt teh lonmoar… heveey sy… Ai’z finkin’ ob juss geetin a goot…. oar shiipz
O, yah, I wud towtullie do dat. Billeegote nawt giv meh so mush lip az mai roomaet, I fink. But “lifeztok” iz illegul in bixbee townlimintz. I nawt ‘llowd to has noffing “farme-amminulz” laik ponee, shiip, gote, kow, nuffin’. POWT. KB eetz sum grazz but nawt mush an’ awl da grazz him eetz gitz pookd on teh karpit.
Kan sii it nao…
Elfi runnnnin wif KB tew bak yd “Wayte KB, wii awlmozt tew composty pyle!”
O.o Hao yu knowz??? LOL Dat SOOO almozz happin.
Iz liek runnin teh babee gogiez tew teh nuzpapr.
“Wayte pupee, juzt a fyoo moar stepzzz. ARGH”
‘Sidez anneewun hoo’d bii growchee (liek mii) abowt “No farme-aminalz inna citee limitz” wud bii thinkin’ “Iz a bettr plaiz fur diz chood grazz tahn awn mai carpet!”
Ai kno wen owr felicia wuz still wif us seh’d trai tew hak up teh nasstee harebawl an ai’d bee, “NOOOOO! Heer, kitteh, lemme taek yoo owtsied!” Seh awlwais get teh po’d att mee; ai wuz juss traiin tew aboid teh kleenup.
Conga-rats awn yoor jenetix test, bai teh wai! Ai’m teh vurbal an SO admyre teh maff/synetiffik fokeses!
Sum ub us can du sum ub eash, vurbl, syuntz&maf, iz ambidektrus! But ai bleebz yu iz da mewsikul? win! $#9835; Trai tu maik sum lidul mewsikz heer.
Dint wurkd. fink dat’s wut ZF toled me. Den ai wuz wundur if sum smartee wul fink haow tu maik triplet. Probly az chalenj az plai it ona peeano wif quarturz ona uvver paw.
gma: is teh & sine nawt teh $ sine.
♫
Yess, ai bee teh mewsikle. Cuddn’t halp it—bofe parintz aer, tew.
Yis, gote oar shiiipz duz best ona lawng grassez. nd get goos fur ete da bugz nd chais away da dor tu dor sailzmenz. nd dey nawt demanding “faivurz” in retrun fur du dere jawbz.;D
Wii noe can haz “livestock” neither, stoopie rulz… cud wehn Ay wuz liddle, butts citipeeps mooved n, adn taht wuz taht….noes moar, sew sad. U b lichen teh guinea henz 2? Gud 4 bugz adn screechin up a storem ober stranjers.
iz learnin new-clear physiks, i luv my classes…
Gatta krazee teechur, hii wharz dk glazzes…
Grool not so yummylishus.
An teh bloo floofy fing onna stik scares me….
but tehn, ai is skeered ob mai oen shado – an teh madaxmurrrdrer in teh odder rume taht OENLEE AI CAN SEE!!!!!
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Kittun so Qte shez makin mai CATurday!
Tehy wunts tu discubber teh sekrit ov yur xtreem kyootness, adn purrhapps bottle iyt oar at leest patent iyt.
Becuz yur splortableness bees soe lethal adn cumpellyng, dey wunts tu xploit iyt adn uteelyze iyt az a sekrit wehpun…..
Gainst wut???? Wye BADNESS, ov coarse!!!!
ATENSHUN CHEEZPEEPS OF TEH FEEMAIL PURRSUASHUN:
I has fownd teh definitive leetle black dwess. I are veree prowd and happee about mah purchase. Was onlee 30 cheesburgers! Thought I wuld share in mai joi!
Tawk abowt a “Nawt Sekkund”…Howd U fownd taht? Ebben beddar…wahr?
I fownd it @ tjmaxx!!! (do yous has dem by you?)
I and mai frend dat is a boi is going to see mai udder frend in teh ballet tonight in Philly and awl of mai cyoot clothes are in WashDC (ai am in PA) so ai had to find somefink to wahr. So I goez shopping and I find teh Marilyn Monroe dress, onlee in black! Yay!!!1!!!1!!
(mai complicated and spred out lief– let me show you it)
saoundz liek purrrrfekt-fur-ballay-tyep lil blk drez!
Ai bees iyn PA tu!!
Weez haz TJ MAXX heer; awlso elebentey sebenti sevin malls & stoars.
Ai be luckee becuz Ai can sew adn alture mai stuf;
(yeers agoe Ai uoosed tu maike AWL mai cloases; adn awlso sewed alawt foar mai kidlets adn husbin. Can nawt du taht ennymoar; tu xpensib foar
material & thred & notions; awlso can nawt sew liek a maniac liek Ai did wen Ai wuz yunger; doan haz awl taht energee)
tjmaxx/marshalls….nebber, ebber pai full pricz!1! Yup, sue-rounded bye dem hear n NJ. Mi onleist problum wif “lbd” iz dat dey iz “liddle” n Ai iz, ahemmmm, “floofy” at bestest. But gibs upz teh B&J icey creem? Nebber!
“A Night at the Opera” cud b beeg fun. Njoi urselves muchly
Mai dawter-kitteh bigg awna LBD—shee haz sebberal. She luks teh “drawp-ded gorjus” innem, tew. Ai shud lib sew lawng–ai doan ware dressez ennywai coz tehy nawt kumfurtabbul, an besides, shoart-waysted, slitely floofie wimmens haz teh ahrd tyme fyndin wun taht luks teh gud. Pleh.
ooh, let’s hab a gud RANT!!! Nawt sekkundly, Ai iz nawt “petite”…Ai iz short, verticularlay challanded, whatebber, but nawt “petite”. Iffin Ai goez 2 “menswear” teh trowsirs cum n lotsa lenthes, but in “females” Y du Ai has 2 hem dem ?
Howse abowt U, Altosinger?
TELLZ mee abowt it! Bless CC, ai has teh fren wif teh sewin masheen, an taht’s teh biggy halp, butt mah bess sollushun iz frift-stoar-shoppin—yoo cann fine teh pantz awlreddy hemmed. (An mushly cheeper, tew—berry impoartnt awn WA state dissability, witch iz awl wee bee gettin rite nao. Waytin awn teh soshul sekuritee—nawt sew grate, akchully.)
Ai iz yer naybore, kinda. Iz wai obber awn da ID Pah-loose.
but “petite” meenz “shortur lengf” … ai werkz at teh Avenue store…. we has “petite”, “average” and “tall”, up to size 32…
“petite” juz meenz shorter… dat awl. Iffn yu ovr siez 14, tryz to see if derz a Avenue store in ur area!!
Oh Elfie, U iz sweet.. but Ai iz “short” Iz siez 12, but shoed onlee b siez 4, n short coupled, not po-pourshunal,atz awl. Tings gap, sholjers droop, ebberyting kneads hemming & hawing. Poh stankie. Juss az whale…ebber tri 2 fien teh kyoot shue n teh siez 7EEEE (cum frum lawng line ob dukz), 2 go wif lbd?
Iz otay reely, mah hubband lubs mii: sez “effishantly engineared” iz juss rite 4 him, juss sumtiems Aye whist nawt 2 b waerin sneekerz oar “sturdy browns”
Mah mamma warez teh 1/2 syzes—sayme problum. Ai dunno iffen tehy maykes 1/2 syzez ennymoar, tho.
Nd b siedz da blak nawt lukz gud wif owr owld baggish skinz ennymoar.:D
Hai ebbreewunz. Happy Caturday! rejoys!
Ai has a GORJUS LBD – it is woolansilk; it eben smells ekspensib! Ai juss needs teh gudeenuff reesuns to waer it…!
sssssiilllkkkk, ebben sounz gud 2 says. Ai sez 2 “invent’ a gudeenuff reesuns, tern da lites loh, n slink abowt be-in gorjus.
Yeah—iff yoo luks gud in itt, enjoi wyle yoo cann!
Yah-but, tehn Amber will com an sit awn me an mai LidlBlakDress will be a LidlBlakDress, wiv orinj furs awn it!
tooo tru, butt Aye laffing, pixtearring eggactly waht U meen
yew a, nawt suppowzd 2 sit daon in yur LBD. nawt unlez yew haz teh purrtektif aypron furr teh mowmintz wen amber wunt teh lap.
sew – wipp awf teh ayprun an *slink*
pawp awn teh ayprun an *snorgul*!!
wipp awf teh ayprun an *slink*
pawp awn teh ayprun an *snorgul*!!
This formula has been brought to you from the new edition of
‘Pheal gud bowt yusselph!’
abaylubbul, wooden ya noe, @ the Tybooteek
Olternatiblee, Ai oenlee waer mai LBD wen Ai is standin in teh bar, holdin a martoonee in a ellygunt manner, lukking seksy an so fisty caytid. An avayluble, to ennee richoldmen win hartcondishuns, hoo happen to be in teh visinitee….!
HA HA HA HA HA!!! “Itz jusst az eezy tew fawl inn lub wif a ritch mann az a pore mann!”
in soviet russia, cute kitteh’s head asplode becuz of u!
ooo dis kitteh ned rezcoo-ing…
*picks up CT mask*
Hao DAER yew guyz maeks funny ov diz mozt snorgalishus kitteh!! Iz oyveyous dat hym shud haev teh commix az hiz scikey iz tew impresshunable fur wurld nooz. Alzo annee vet tech wud vowch dat hym needz da propriate gushy fudz, nawt grooL (foar grooL iz teh crewL).
O yeh, an Ai spoek wif teh lowcal robix structer an wuz toled teh bloo fuzzee iz tew tall N tehrefur iz airgo-nom-icalee BAD fur diz kitteh.
*Drops mask giggling*
Dat WUZ vry fun!!
*lawl* argonomiklee bad foar kitteh?
Dat muzz be wy mai kitehz nevard plae wif puff-on-spring toi.
KB did wuns, but it whakd him bak an he dint laik it no moar.
Ai’ll hav to agree w/ KB. ne toi dat whacks me is no toi at oll. is enemeee!!!
GMTA, KafleenTehNuDrez!!
Hoo culd blayem hym! …Ai doan liek tew plai wif meeniez ider.
Kan sii hym wok awai muttring undr hiz bref:
*^$&% puff-on-spring….
Behbee Kitteh iz
wayyyyyz 2 kewt! Willz lurn kwikklee
dat she runz t3h show!
Behbee Kitteh willz
groawz n2 herz surrowdeengz
maykeengz Hewminz smyle
Behbee Kitteh habz
lawtza Windo Sillz andz stuffz
2 ekksploar layturr
Jack.
Wish wii cud serch commintz bai posterz naem. Ai wud maek spezul ‘disshun:
Jack Deth แถฑแดฅแถฑ Haiku Kittehz
yae jak! nuther hart-warmin wordz frum teh masteh!
jack u wuz right
behbee kitteh now knowz she iz de cyootest kitteh evar and i iz wrapped around her lil paw!
“Wut do u pplz want?”
“We wants informashun!”
“You is number siks”
“Ai iz not ai number, Ai is a kitteh!”
Prizznah FTW!
Ai wil nawt bee pusheded, field, stampeed, inducksed, breefed, debreefed (8O) or nummburred. Mai lief iz mai own!
O.o
(Lol @ “debreefd” (8O) )!!
Portmerryun! Ai has been tehre – but Ai didunt see ennee jiunt bubbuls chaysin me…..
Iz vilashin of intrnatel kitteh rites!
Ha ha! Very cute!
ZOMGZ!!!
I has to taek a momint to sae: I has kittehs wif da winnest guy evar.
My husband, he works hard monday-thru-friday. On teh weekends, he lounges around in hims jammies playin’ videogames and suchlike. He and Bastien (our docile black kitty) are in an apartment in Tennessee right now, close to his new job, while I finish my term in school and get the house packed up and moved.
My husband also has a lot of trouble walking. He has to wear ankle-foot orthotics that don’t allow his feet to drop so he doesn’t trip over his toes when he walks, and he walks with a cane. Of course, once the AFO’s are on, he’s got to wear his sneakers (luv teh NewBalance!!). My husband does NOT go out in public without proper polo shirt, AFO’s, long pants, sneakers. He has a lot of trouble carrying things, too, especially big bulky items.
Today: There was a fire alarm at his apartment building. He just paged me from the car: He had nabbed Bastien, stuffed him into a carrier (a real feat for just one person, believe me….) and…. in jammies, socks-only, lugging a 10.5-pound cat in a really bulky carrier, he got out of the apartment, down the stairs, and into his car to wait for the fire department.
He didn’t think about putting on his shoes or AFO’s or getting “properly” dressed. He didn’t just dash out the door. He paused to get the cat into the carrier and then lugged cat-and-carrier out to his car.
Thankfully, he’s got the handicap parking space.
I’m so proud to know that he didn’t think about what a chore it would be to carry Bastien-and-carrier out to the car and either a) risk them both by staying too long to futz with the AFO straps or b) risk the kitty by leaving him…. but just … did what needed doing.
In the end, it’s a false alarm, he’s been all-cleared by the firemen to go back in. LCB will likely be there any moment.
Hii IZ gud man. Yew pikd vry whale!
Soon yew will bii gettn awl hiz snorgulz!!!
{{{{{Elfi}}}}}} ware did yu fined dis wunnerful gy? Defnitly win! Ai wuz a bit cunfewz wen yu sed “roommate” nawt goze owt tu mow lawn, but naow seme tu recawl yu ar in transishun. iz nawt eezy.
Menny ub us wuz sai going orf fur wekezendz. Wuz maibe LCB inclued so she mite nawt shoze up fur teh fyrmanz dis tiem. She mite liek da cunstrukshun menz neikz dor tu me. Nawt da n.y.m but sum in da shawrtz nd tshirtz nd haz gud legz.;D
o hai. I fownd him on teh innerweb. Yep. On teh AOL. I fownd him….. lessee, almozz 9 yeerz agoz? yah. ‘bowt dat. Nawt on chatruum, jus a guy in teh arrea, I did surch foar guyz in teh arrya whut I kud chat wif… I wuz jus lonlee… met him dat nite, I knowd I’d marry him rite den. Him so wunnerfulz. Nawt purfek, but dat gud, kuz ai not purfek neethur.
{{{{{elfi an hur hubbee}}}}}
an snorgulz 4 Bastien!!
noe, nowun iz purrrfekt. If peeps bii wayten fur purrfekt mayte, tehy’ll bii looooooonlee forebbor.
Ai haz a happee foar yew bofe! (And a happiyer wence yew git tew saem hoem!)
Yoor gui iz a reel grate gui—a giff frum CC, indeedy!
Nawt seckund of awl, I will take dis opportunitee to steel teh firemen…. I has heard dat LCB likes them kwite a lot… but, yoo snooz yew looze!!
Far more importanly (which is saying something, because there are firemen here!!), YOU DO, IN FACT, HAVE THE WINNEST GUY EVER. Well caught. I hope I someday find a guy who is as much of a win. {{{Elfi, hubby & Bastien}}}
dis pore liddle kitteh allah lone, hes singing:
“Its caturdey nyte an I ain’t got nobody,”
I gots sum muney kawse I just got paid …”
2 maik tings wurse, de reading material is in a furrin language!
Iz ok. Reeds flue intlee n elebentee milyun adn elebentee eleben lang witches, awl sew.
Noez, we wants you to fix DIS tv
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/01/12/wait-ill-fix-it/
my cubbs say…
we has sames bowL kitteh cubb!
Dat is such a kewt lol
lol
NIZE. I LUFFZ EET