Microsoft Presents: Offis Assystent
can yoo halp me wif dis problum?
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Nifer
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Oh noes! *Hyde offis assystent* Dey always giv meh bad sugestin.
Conga Ratz Japhia1!1 U b nawt sekkund dis fien mawnin. Teh sqweeky liddle noiz behines mii iz ma Kawfee Kart, wif teh steemin cawldron ub fresh grund “jump start special”. Wud U kare 4 teh beeg bloo mugful?
Beeg Bloo?
so you has a cawfee mug dat dusn’t werk well wiff cawfee an is mismanaged?
en ur whirl, BIG BLUE iz noes gud… en mai liddle whirl, beeg bloo iz ober mai hed, halpin teh birdz fli, adn maekin teh lubberly frame 4 teh beeg yello lite….purrspecktive, Ai haz it.
I ykes yer big bloo much beddah den myne – yewl share?
sharez, shore, Y knot? Eetz ah verrryyy beeegggg bloo (liek teh floofy blankie wif teh cloudz ) adn awlz u kneads iz 2 sit down adn stair up. Ebben wehn it reigns, teh beeg bloo iz sharin… ah mose im-paw-tant fax 2 ‘member
Smammie, does yore cart hab a big ole Smammovar fum Tashkent or Smamarkand wif thick strong tea onnatop and hot water inna belly? I cud use a STRONG cuppa black tea this morn.
*hands Sol a varee strong cup wif som tee in it*
k heer.
Sol, yu evar done Genetix problumz? u has logikkul mind, u’d liek dem…. dey iz akshulie teh fun to do!
I rilly enjoed der scients classes I took but I prefurd de fyzix. Unfortunatle dat I didn’t get the high-skull maff I needed and it wooda took a lawng time to make up for that lack. As fer genetix prollems, I doan wanna solve them, I is wun.
Fanx fer der tea, Elfi – yer de best!!
tea is good and as yo sed, the cup is strong too.
Diz offizassystent prollee a reel BIHG HALP!
get the mouse!
Shut down all the trash compactors on the detention level!
aye tink dere’s sumpin in hear wif uz
Ist sars paststsisng da ss ksesesborsd an’s msaseskin’ exssstra sssss lessstturzss.
giggles, gud mawnin’ Elfie, tek-no-savvy u haz it
ai has a bad feeling abowt dis…
Kitteh > Clippeh
Sorree, lemme refrase:
Kitteh > > > > > > > > > > > > Clippeh
Can ai HALP yoou?
o hai, it lookz like ur riting a ledder….
Lolspeak spelchek, DO NAWT WANT!!
/okai, nawt at teh owrfice aneewai
I tink it wud improove may boss’s spellin.
shuffle, shuffle, creek, creek….pullin mah kart wif mii. Wearz ebbry1? Hmmm, wahtz dis nowtiss b sayin? “Grate Race 2dai” Hoa! taht b rite, iz famaus Braid Race L8r dis mawnin. Pooh-stankies, Ai gotz 2b werkin tehn. Noes b whatchen 2C eggcitemints. Gesses iffin Ai juss parcs mah kart, wif a nize banner, –skribbul, skribbul– otai, taht shoed du itz.
“HAWT KAWFEE!!!” halps urselvz nd hafs teh grate Dai… (plez 2B puttin m-t mugs n majik washie-drorer unner kart ) kthnxbai
Yup, weze goona hab a day at the races. I wunner if der Marx brudders will be der?
ohai Smammie, I fink everywun is saving ther strenths fur the race maybee? They’re prolly doin sum traning, and warmin up ther keybored fingurs. I’ll haz cawfee, fanks!
*thinks.. the more caffeene.. the kwicker the reflexes, rite?*
Oooh… Eye can faor haz da Big Mugs of hawt bevridj? Cuz Eye haz dis offis assystint – Vershun 4.0 en eberywun ob da 4 be making awl mah desi… decis… choisis faor me!
I heerz yu. Mine wuntid to be feeded dis moarning. Whutevar.
typo-cat in acshun
Y mai pooter not cum wif dis softwarez?
It b lukking bery soft and snorgulishus.
WANT!!!
Were iz teh mistar papurklipz??!1
“Hey it looks like you’re typing a lolcat!”
“Wood u lyke sum halp with taht?”
“Ur using deh passive voise.”
Oh, yeah?!?!?!
Well how bout I pikking u up adn trowing u cross deh ruum?
Iz dat b activ nuff 4 u?
Oar mebbe hauling u owtside and dropping u off deh cliff?
Oar shud I git Kafleenz ass kikking leg adn let u see how dat werks?
i172.photobucket.com/albums/w27/cynic32/this-is-my-ass-kicking-leg.jpg
heer, lemme halp yu.
.
dere iz no ‘Z’ in akssessorise…yu need dis ledder…
Hmph! Well my pyooter haz decyded todai is teh dai to act awl funny. Ai keep getting an errur msg, and it iz panefullie slooooooooooooow. Duzzn’t luk too gud fur me in teh race. *sigh*
Hay, JCH4K, are yoo owt there?? I wuz wundering if u cud be the Mistress uf Ceramoanneys, sinse it wuz U that has teh brillyant idea uv teh race! U cud wear a teeair-a… and maybee u can flote down in wun of Cween’s bubbuls? Ai think she haz put sum xtras in teh Ty Booteek.
Hai leeza-b!! ai ar heer. just getting reddee fur the race.
But oh noooes! Nawt today!! Bad PYooter. Did yoo trai just turning it off an booting up again? Werks fur mee sumtimes.
Ai’ll be in teh race – ai hope!!! But if yoo can’t bee there, ai will do mai best to keep thingz under control – frum mia bubblol!!!
But eben if yoo think yoo can’t win becuz of stoopee slow pyooter – trai to enter eneway. Hoo noes what cud happen?
Wishing yoo luck!!1
Janet
rebootz leeza, i meen..rebootz ur puter, leeza
In udder werds… *putz awn fuzzee hammeh sickel hat*
“In Soviet Russia, computer reboots you!”
ai rebooted… pyooter still stoopy!
oh well… *powt*
silvur lining- ai haz something to blame it awn when I looz! LOL
ai haz teh sayme! “a script on this payge imaeking interwebs exploder even moar slow and stoopid. Do yu wantit to stop? Oar whynot let it run, so it can crash yer pyooter todai? kthxbye”
GRROWWRRR!
happin 2 me 2-berry strange
naw offis asystent U DOOIN IT RONG!
Da Kitteh who read ur mail and hid under teh puter.
hai evbberone dis is Britt, i gots a new kitteh i named pudding so i changed mah names.
Oh hai Janet, how beez U? I haz not seen U in a while. Hope U and the 4 kittehs
is OK
Teh 4 kittehs (Barney, Cinders, Fiona an Fin (Glorfindel) ar awl just fine – happee an veree frolikee!! az am ai!!
An hao ar yur two kittehz? Oops – got to run. Just tiem to make a nice cuppa coffee – an settle in at teh starting gayte!!!
See yoo ar teh race???
Janet, I iz hardlee slept a winck lass nite, bein nerbous bowt teh race! 3 minutes to go, aaaaaack!
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
eye was wondering why eye had all those sssssssss on mai screen.
*Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…*
O hai, halp deks? mai pooter is makin beepz. Fikhs it, kthxbai.
Hai Teho!!! Brilliant as awlways!!
Kittehs hand not wide enuf to press “Ctrl” at same time.
Insted of safely Ctrl-S savng yr document, kitteh will loose yr werk and fill it full of ssssssssss’s
That’s a five cheezburger LOL from me!
Were iz teh mistur papurklip??!!1
Go go gadget kitteh arm!
Oih! Dats an assistunt I want – I can has? I has no offise but don’t hold dat agaenst meh. Mai husbundy could taek dat kind uf secretary/assistans home any day!
Duz dis cum n a Mac vursn?
Kitteh temp awfiss wurker ar iyn yur pyooter kurrekting yur typos;
Wunts tu knoe iyf yuu niedes enny rap-a-rouns tiped, files deeleeted, messajis seynt, oar updaites daownloded;
Awlsoe wunts to knoe wen iys luunch tiem, oar nex cawfee brake; adn wher iys teh cloasest littre baux????
(Kitteh sez oavertiem: DO NAWT WANT!!!!!!)
Zis iz best tech support on ze earff! Wii wantz wun!
Ctrl-Alt-Snorgle.
@@@@@
howz langz wortk?
Microsoft presents TEH BLUE SCREEN OF DEETH!