I waanz te suck yer burgerrr!!!

uh, maybe burger no gud choise! Uh, gimmie mousie to bite!

Is not native soil, purrhaps, but will do for nap!

Nosh-feratu

Ohh, look et teh kyoot kitteh bellie awl reddy fur a snorgle! Ai am goin in…
*snorgle, snorgle, snorgle*
Um, what…? Um, kitteh…. um, R u nommin mai neck?
No? jus snorgling mai neck? Um, okay…..ai guess.
R u shur ur not nommin mai neck….. feelz liek ur nommin mai…..

Yesh, vampire kitteh master. Ai will serb u faithfully. Ai will bring u rare cheezburgers 4 times a day. Yesh, master!

Con gratulamashuns Cinsez on ur nawt secund. Sawng adn danz fur u. Drinkz?
N-E-buddy up fur a Bloody Mary adn pawsibbly teh Monster Mash dis mornin?
Gud mornin 2 awl!

OT…..ai heerd a roomur dat iz Gascats’ birffday……..sew, ai hopes yew haz a wunnerful daze todai, an ai maed yew a cookie , but ai eeted it…..srsly….
.
but mai yew hav minny minny moar loverly birffdaze in teh yeerz to com, an fankz too, to momcat, feer bringin diz deliteful chile into teh whirld…..
.
ai gotz to get sum sleepy tyme in, teh noo job insistz dat ai ackshually showz up to werk !! so ai iz gonna toddle ofn to my futon noaw, but wanteded to let yew noes ai waz finkin ov yew…..ai wood brake into my vershun ov “Happitail BIrffdadze to yew” but ai haz teh kinda voyse dat shood onli be herd ina showerz, so as a speshul birffdaze giff, ai will spar yew taht pain….
.
haz a ggod daze yew grate kidlet yew !

From Philippe d’Beakers laboratory in the castle east
To the kitteh’s bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes

They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash

i doan want to find owt wut vampire kitteh eets for snaks…

bat nipz anywun?

Long tooth kitteh iz long in teh tooth

But… but … awl da kittehs B vampyr kittehs cuz dey sux da lurvz right owt ub us!

he’z a sweet transylvester
frum transylvester-ania

Vampire kitteh wants ta play

Gaver round kittehs, heres annuder lawng tediuos tale from Unka Sol.

It was a hot day in the desert, too hot for the Babysnake to play outside so he was hanging around the snake pit trying to learn how to whistle. Now with the configuration of a snake’s mouth, lips and fangs and such, whistling is not likely for a snake, but Babysnake was determined and he was making a rather annoying hissing sound that finally drove his momma nuts. She yelled “Babysnake, wut do you tink you’re doin’?” And Babysnake said “I’se whistlin momma” and his momma said “no Babysnake, das nawt whistlin’, dats hissin and havin you hissin in the pit is makin me nutz, nock it awf!” Babysnake said “but momma I’se nawt hissin in the pit, I’se whistlin.” Momma say “Yer hissing in the pit and I cain’t stand the hissin in the pit, if yo gotta hiss in the pit then go to Mrs. Pott’s pit and hiss!” So Babysnake went across the hot sand (ooch awtch ouch) to Mrs. Pott’s pit and he settled in to practice whistling. Well, in no time at all Mrs. Pott comes around the corner of her pit and sees Babysnake and says “Babysnake wut are yo doin in muh pit and wuts that horrible noise?” Babysnake says “I’se whisling Mrs. Pott!” “Dat ain’t whistling, dats hissing and I don’t want yo hissin in muh pit! Why ain’t yo hissin in yo own pit?” Babysnake explains “I was hissin in muh own pit but momma cot me and sed dat if I hasta hiss inna pit to hiss in Mrs. Pott’s pit, so heah I is”. Mrs. Pott said “Well I don’t want yo hissin in muh pit, yo gotta hiss inna pit, go hiss in yer own pit!” So Babysnake goes back across the hot sand (ooch awtch ouch) and settles in his own pit and resumes whistling. Momma comes roarin around the corner hollerin “WUT are you doin here hissin in the pit? I tol you if yo gotta hiss inna pit go hiss in Mrs. Pott’s pit an hiss!” Babysnake said “I was hissin in Mrs. Pott’s pit but Mrs. Pott said nawt to be hissin in her pit, dat if I hasta hiss inna pit to hiss in muh own pit”. Momma snake says “Dang dat Mrs. Pott, I recall when she dint have a pit to hiss in”.

Yo younger kittehs mite hafta finda an old fart like Unca Sol to splain why dis is funneh. Even if it ain’t funneh it shore is fun to tell, but nawt after a few martoonis.

Greeebo? whut r yu doin?

My lil’ Toby had a fang face like that…nearly all black kitteh with just a smidgen of white above his heart.

miss my Toby

Dis one kitteh whu dus NOT luuk for sunny spot to snooze in.

Dis muste rlly bees a vampyre kitteh, becuz hims sleapyng upsyde-daown.

(Hmmmm, mebbee nawt; purrhaps hims jes haz sumwut ov an oaverbyte;
mite nead brayces.)

brad pitt kitteh in dah Interbiew wid da vampire

Oh my, I swear that is a picture of my cat Dante! I wonder where it came from…

Also, the person interested in petting her belly… I would avoid it at all costs. She is a very bitey kitty.

I haz vampire kitteh too! We meet, compare fangz.

OMFG!!!!! THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MUH KITTEH!!!!!! O.O

Pfeh. Dis not bampyr kitteh. Is kleerly descendint ob teh pleist . . . paleo . . . really-old saber-toof kitteh.

dis bamyre kitteh…iz he uv da minionz uv basement cat????