Capshun can beez title ov pikshure; can awlso be a kupon fur a mowsie-shayped kitteh treet;

Dat’s wy kittehs be waietyng sew pashuntlee; dey wunts dere mowsie-cuukie oar a new toi, wutebber.

(Kittehs awlso be hoepyng weez be laffin owr heds awf, becuz ebbery tyme we laffs, dey geyts moar stuf!!! Dey bees happee tayle iyf kupons stak up tu the ruuf!)

I chekd in wif my dok’s nurss, tole her how I doin’, she laik o yah, if yu be bleedin’ too much u need to let us kno….

I liek o yah, of korss. I will tell da naiss E.R. dokturz to tells you awl abowt it. I nawt hang arownd bleedin’. Dat be dum.

Meenwyl, I will need teh rhogam shot. An’ of korzz, Huzbin jus swappt jobz so old inshurinss iz canxeld until we send dem teh munneez foar COBRA so nao… I gotta pae foar mai rhogam outta pokkit. I telld nurss dat, she laik, ooohhh um u nont wanna wait toooooo long on rhogam… I sed no ov korss not, I has pryoritiez strayt! I not rizk futchur behbehs’ helf an’ my own helf jus’ kuz inshurins is buncha cokkwadz.

teh othur down-sied ov dis… I hasta … um… “saev a sampul ov teh tisshuu, saev az mush az yu kan, in fak.”

Nao, dat kinna grozz. I iz byologee maejur, I kan deel wif, I unnerstan. Mai ruummaet, nawt so mush, yah? So, bakuz ai is pakrat, sumhao I has biohazzurd baggeez an suchliek supplyz (an’ gluvz an’ laebls!) so I maek as profeshunil az ai kan. Evin put dyignoziz koad on it. Kuz ai a geek.

I iz varee tyrd an’ wored owt but no kan sliep. Powt.

Reddy fur next kwestshun? IF A HOOMIN LOLS IN TEH FORUST DOES IT MAEK A SOWND?

Moar punch pleez?

or r u also on dat sic liddul wavlenth?

… jus wunnerin. … er … um

*wannerz off 2 nom sum Lnch-fud*

Elfi, stay close to the phone: what you don’t know can scare you more than anything that really happens.. having contact with the people that do know is the smartest thing for now. Drink tea, read a book, keeps notes if you must for coherency, but don’t be worrying yourself into a stew, okay? Lotsa love.

Dey juss too kyoot!

*Runs to grab CHRG/wdoi an duk taep*

im very sorry u r hurting today. im sending hugs n wishes ur way
{{{{{{{Elfi}}}}}}}

*looks at pics*

Awwwww…….. *eyeballs shoot out of head, followed by brains shooting out of empty eye sockets*

…..dammit. I can has Dr. Tinycat?

Mai ruummaet, him akshulee woekd up on himz own todae! (I get up early to make sure he’s up, and today, I am just NOT feeling well at all, lots of pain, just wanna go lie down again with the phone nearby) …. so I checked – hoorae! him awaek! Him up an’ nawt-drest but is has plenny of tiem.

I telld him, I nawt go to skool todae, is mega pleh todae, him shud taek car hisself, kuz I nont wunna dryv nowhar. I tryed foar ly-down agin, wuz ressless, gottid up….

Him stil haff-nekkid at kompootur, it ar 3 minnits AFTAR him aspozd to has leevd.

I laik, wtf, wy yu go awl dat trubbl foar waek up an juz maek urself late? Wy yu nawt at leezt git dresst, has shaevingz, awl dat… DEN if yu gots xtra taim be on kompootur?

*teh ARGH!*

An, him wuz talk talk talk yezzurdae ‘bowt how Winnowz suxx0rz an’ hao Linnuz is teh winnz0rz an den him maekd 40-minnitz-lawng whut-saond-laik-rant abowt hao nobuddee noez hao foar uz teh Linnuz kuz dey awl zpoon-feedid on teh winnowz… wy dey zpen munneh on Werd when derz Opin Offiss avaylabul, etc etc etc. It turnz owt wuz nawt rant, wuz akshulie asposd to be funneh in dat “ur a ztoopy n00b” wae, but I iz laik, ok yeth, grate, winnowz sux, yeth, u nont needz foar tells meh, I has makkintoz, iz mai gud kompootr, I luffz it…. Yez dat rite, I knoez linnuz iz wae betur… Him had seeryz of “funneh annekdoet” abowt “aw, ur a ztoopy n00b!” kinna stuf but wuz awl saem messij: “peepol iz ‘frayd ov teh awzum powar ov teh UBUNTU kuz winnowz sux” I got dat, I unnarztanz, yeth, I grok.

I telld mai huzbin, wuz laik lissnin to Vogon poetry, iz maekin’ mai inturnal orginz imploed.

Juz ramembur diz troof: Darz no zellit laik teh konvurtid. Iz so troo.

Fank choo!

Splort!
Psssssst!
Whoo hoo hoo!

Eye R ded frum da uber-kyooet. En da LLLBC haz da freedumbs. So much kyooet … so much happy … fank you ICHC!!!

Y?