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we’re in ur iliad stealin ur myths


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we’re in ur iliad stealin ur myths

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hercules_capturing_cerberus

 

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  1. Maus says:

    Cerberus Kitteh!

  2. gascat says:

    sew tis wuld be catberus purrhaps?

  3. Maus says:

    Transporter Accident!

    • Tribble says:

      Der iz an ebil twin inna parralol uneeverse!

    • Cookie's Human says:

      Poor little alien kitteh….does Kirk then go through the same malfunkshun, and end up in the same way? Won’t be eksiting az when he wuz his gud self and hiz bad self…akshually, a three hedded Kirk will be kinds of gross…..

      • Tribble says:

        Let’z hope no cling-onz end upp dat wai! Can u magine eviler cling-onz!

        • Cookie's Human says:

          I thinks the clingonz would think three heads would make them cooler, fiercer looking….like the clingon General Chang, and hiz riveted-on eye-patch.

          • SolnEsther says:

            Dems rivets? I fot they was ten penny galvanized.

            • onceajinx says:

              OMG! Et da RenFaire, dis wun stall had a buncha lether arts, kinda scruncht up lether wif fayces put in, an wun ting she had wuz an ayepatch – wiff an eye in it! Lookt REEELLLEEE MadEye Moonie, BERREE kewl… I trai to find owt da cumpnee naym, it wuz soo kewl!!!

      • Domino says:

        Ai wuz tinkin mebbe liek teh tranzporder acksident frum Spaceballs, in witch caise kitteh wud hav eezee acksess to butt lickin. ;)

      • SolnEsther says:

        Cookies Hoomin, what meks you so sure he’d come out wif three heds?

        • Cookie's Human says:

          Coz in the epeesode where the transporter malfunkshunned, the little alien dog wuz beemed up, and ended up az two little alien dogs – one nice, one mean. Kirk beamed up moments after under the same set of cirkumstances, and he came up as 2 separate Kirks – one nice, the other nasty. So if it be similar transporter accident that caused space-kitteh to re-assemble wid three heads, then if Kirk beamed up moments later, he could have three heads like the kitteh. And God knoes what else culd be triplicated….

          • SolnEsther says:

            he did always end up wif the girl.

            • Kayjoy says:

              next episode;
              Kirk engaged 2 nubile tripletz from planet Delta-Aphrodite….

              • Cookie's Human says:

                Kirk always did make the best of any situwayshun…..

              • SolnEsther says:

                Um, er, so Kayjoy, hep me owt here if hez go two nubile tripletz do dat at up to 6girls or two gurls and if just two is dat cause the udder four were nawt nubile (Kirk axually nawt choosey dat way) and is delta aphrodite as clebber as I tink or is just muh mynd inna gutter agin?

                • SolnEsther says:

                  an why am I flashing on the ole riddle:
                  On my way to St Ives I met a man wiff seven wives
                  and every wife had seven sacks, and every sack had seven cats,
                  and every cat had seven kits. Kits, cats, sacks, wives,
                  How many were going to St Ives?

                  • 4½ Kittehs says:

                    Mai adbice: Lay off da katnips, SnE.

                  • SolnEsther says:

                    Afore I left the employ ob Big Blew I was supportin seberal accounting applications and one day muh boss say dat the accountant I had been werk wid on one ob dem apps wus leaving and she wanted me to take over. I sed “Ise nawt an accountant, Ise a progrmmer, I caint even count to eleben wifout unzippin.”
                    She did nawt see the humor in dat.

                  • Werdycnan says:

                    did yu wach Die Hard, resentlee?
                    teh anser tew yur kweschun:1-yu!

                    • SolnEsther says:

                      yur rite, nope I din’t watch Die Hard, I read it again in Pogo. Made me larf again just as it has everytime Ive read it over the past forty years. Thass stayin power Thurber still makes me larf too, classics is classic.

                      • gascat says:

                        weiz metted da enimi n it iz us!
                        lubz pogo n lil abner n thurber n da marx brudders n THwellz (cantz findz him ani moar…) n chas adamz……. cud go awn butz mai age itz shown again…

                        momcat

                • Kayjoy says:

                  um ..Sol, iz not berry gud with teh mathematics. I compared my attempt @ college intermediate algae-bra last yr. with me trying 2 lern 2 read Chinese- all memorization but no real comprehenshun. However, i did learn enuff 2 tutor my 15 yr old math-hating son in algaebra & he’s doing beddar for now.
                  So, while i originally envishuned Kirk engaged to (with?) 3 nubile identical sisters, i will bow 2 ur greater skills in math & science n say Kirk will have as many alien ladies az iz mathematically possumble.

                  oh & yes and yes to teh last kwestion. :wink:

                  • SolnEsther says:

                    Yowza, I hadda turrible tyme wif Chinese arifmatic, Chinese Algebra goota be miserabob. I fink I hadda lolspeek mistook when you sed 2 nubile triplets I wondered why nawt all free ob dem. I mistooked the 2 fer two instead of to and den I got cornfused because two triplets myte be six lyke a pair ob twins is four. Hole on while I get some ice for muh medicashuns. I cee dat yer annuder one ob dem real clebber wuns here dat I luvs so mush.

                    • Kayjoy says:

                      Akshually, i’m moar kind-hearted than clebber. U c, i didn’t succeed at advanced algebra but i tried really hard-enuff to help my son improve his H.S. scores anyway. And Chinese algebra? i thinks u iz pulling my leg- if i was going 2 study an esoteric, exotic Eastern art , it wood haz 2 B in teh proximity of teh kama sutra.

                      • SolnEsther says:

                        At my age proximity is 2 close to the kama sutra, Ise nawt limber enuff. Esther an I tried years ago and I recall her sayin dat if we ever got this act togedder we should join the circus.

              • woozled says:

                woan’t hee beez bus’prized wehn hee fynds owt tehy r teh Boiz!?!?
                .
                “SPOTTY!! BEEM MY ARSE OWTTA HEER KWICK!!!!”

          • gascat says:

            mosli uslez obfec documints. plz to beiz fillin owt in triplimacat- bottum copi alwais illegeable…….

            momcat

          • kitsunerina says:

            is dat teh wun ware he sez ‘aim teh kaptin! no aim teh captin’ teh hole taim?

      • gmawairsgreneshuz says:

        Indede, Kirk hab cum tu berry bad end, az nasstee Bahstin lolyer.

    • leeza-b says:

      eethur that or a splinch. or maybee a merging violashun.

      occifurr I sware, ai didna see those othur kittehs coming…

    • Green Is Good says:

      Hilarious!

  4. Maus says:

    How Odd t’ See…

  5. Loltim! says:

    oh noez! Fluffy woak up.. now how r we goin 2 get to da sorseras stown? D:

    • Tribble says:

      Pla it sum muzak an luk fur da trap door. Wii bettur hope Voldeemort didnt getz it frum da mirrur uff Erasaid yet! Butz it needz sumwun dat duzen’t want tu uze da stown, tu getz it! Old Voldeemort duzn’t haz a chanze!

      • Patrick says:

        A misteereeus hooded bloke aksed meh awl abowt Fluffy n I sed tu him dat u just plai a bit o muzik n he fawl ryt tu sleep.

        Ai shuldnta sed dat!

        • SweetMotherOfMars says:

          Hagrid ftw!

        • mugglemary says:

          an in teh moovee hagrid sais he gets fluffie frum “sum irish bloke” whereas the kerrekt qwote is “some greek feller” which maykes a heck uv a lawt moor sense tahn irish guy….alwaZ buggz me..Harry Potter scholar that ai am…

          • kitsunerina says:

            JkRowl is jus lukkie to get sum sey in teh moovees at awl. moast ohthers jus get an ‘oh bai teh wey, weze makin yer book inta moovee!’
            tehy moovee peeps, tehy destroyed Ella Enchanted…

  6. no 1 in particular says:

    umb…ai dunt noes wut tew say, cept purrhapz lol!

  7. gascat says:

    an yes ai duz beleeve taht eet wuz teh oddysey that involveded a trip tu teh underworld, nawt teh illiad, but ai hasn’t reed eethur fer a wyle an een fack ai has nawt ebber red teh illiad.

  8. SolnEsther says:

    Hole on, Hole on, the coin wus ritcheer unner muh tung, I’ll find it (I wunder if I swallert the dang ting?)

  9. SolnEsther says:

    actually Cerberus was nawt feachured in either the Iliad or the Oddessy but was a favorite them in many other myths including the trip of Sisyphus to the underworld.

    • KafleenTehNawtFirst says:

      Sol!!! Ai haz met ur HappyCatmus challenge….

      R yu prowd of teh n00b??

      • SolnEsther says:

        Um, did you submit yer cornkushun? You klame to have met the toims and condishuns but wares the results?

        • KafleenTehNawtFirst says:

          in replai to ur challenge, sillee!!

          in teh instrukshuns thread

        • SolnEsther says:

          Oy myne qat en Himmel!! Das a fing of great beauty and most fyne and eloqat speecihness. I’se impresst, I’se humbled, I’se nawt certin wut to say Kafleen nawt kwite farvest fum last.
          AHEM!!! YER ATTENSHUN PLEEZ ! KAFLEENTEHNAWTFIRST has resolved a quandry that has had our best cheezmynds daised and cornfused and done so wiff scholalry attenshun to Detail and great sensitivity to the needs and wants of LOLcats ebeyware. The issue of win and fer how lowng to sillybrate der birfday of HappyKat has a resolution fer yer perusal an approval. I furfuer wish for the werd to go owt from this time an place dat Kafleen Nawt Teh Foist is nawt a noob no longer and is a full on lolcat wiff al ther rights and privleidges purrtaining thereunto. Here Kafleen teh nawt foist, take dis qatsnip mouse as a token ob our esteems an go forf with hed and tail held high!

    • SolnEsther says:

      Odysseus did make a trip to the under after his year with Circe but never encounted Cerberus nor crossed the river Styxx (at least according to Edith Hamilton and Bullfinch)

      • ChrissehKitteh says:

        Aeneas met wif de scaree Cerberus on hims trip to teh Unnerwurld after he gawt teh golen bowgh from teh Cumean Sibyl.

        • ChrissehKitteh says:

          As wuz told in teh Aeneid. (Sry nawt to menshun in previous post!)

          • SolnEsther says:

            ChrissehKitteh is rite. Damn, a scholar, noaw I gotta stawp makin up stuff about Greek miffs.

            • ChrissehKitteh says:

              Nawt such a scholar, SolnEsther! Jus a Latin teechur who lubs teechin teh Aeneid (and I jus tawt it to one ov mai classes who r gonna LUB dis picha!!!!)
              An Ai woan tell a sowl when yew maek sumtin up, unless its owtrageous!

              • SolnEsther says:

                No, please keep me honest, I hast fergotten a lot of the classic literature and muh memry for the Greek mythology is starting to slip too. When I was ver you muh dad read to us from the Illiad (nawt much of a kids book) but when the udder kids played cowboys an innians I wanted to play greeks an trojans.

                • ChrissehKitteh says:

                  Ai wanted to play Greek goddesses an Ai hadda fit iffn Ai coun’t be Afena becawse she wuz teh smaht wun. It’s still a bonus qwestion on teh test or kwiz….who iz mai favrite goddess?

                  • SolnEsther says:

                    Flashing grey eyes sprung full grown from Zues head with helm and shield. I wus always a fan of Athena. So whats the name of her companion the spirit of fair play I think?

                    • SolnEsther says:

                      I ment Wiff flashing grey … Der was more den eyes dat sprang.

                      • ChrissehKitteh says:

                        Hers companion is Nike, teh goddess of victory. I always lubbed taht Athena sprang outta her father’s head fully-formed.

                        • SolnEsther says:

                          I knew the Nike but I wasn’t sure (obvious) of the spirit of victory.

                          Ares also hadda lill companion who had the apples of discord and could cause fights among friends but I do nawt recall her name ne more. Nemesis maybe?
                          I got a memory dats just lyk muh wife: really good, world class, nearly perfect, just kinda short.

                        • onceajinx says:

                          Wun uv da aspex uv Athena is “Goddess uv Chareeyuts”! Wenebber we need a parkin spayc, we pray to her, an boy, she delibers!! Eben in LA, et da beech R da mawl R NE whar!

                          Blesseengs to Athena!!

                        • ChrissehKitteh says:

                          I sur do lub me sum Athena!!! She rawks!!!

                          And SnE, Ares’ revolting lil companion is Eris, teh goddess of teh discord. Ask mai 6th graders abawt her — wif n e luck, dey’ll gib u a neerful!
                          But Ares had teh uvver frens too: Deth, Famin, Fear (and Loathing, eben when dey weren’t n e whar NEER Las Vegas!), an a hole bunch ov uvver charmin folks.

                        • SolnEsther says:

                          oh my, Eris ob corse. I forgotted. Yo tesches Greek Miffs to 6th graders? Thas great! Are yo familiar wiff “D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths” (I hadda stop spelling it Miffs kawse it was only a matter ob time afore I embareassed muhseff and wroted MILFS). It is a vairy handsome large format picture book that has woodcut illustrations that I think are bootifull. It is designed fer childers and it tones down some of the randier aspects of the Greek Gods. They are pretty vague about wut queen Pasiphae was actually up to hiding in the wooden cow.. e.

                        • Kayjoy says:

                          Pasiphae was innocently at teh beach, trying on her”Tribute 2 Milk-cows” parade float designed by Daedelus, when suddenly…

                        • gascat says:

                          uz guz bedda be gud- u habbent menshund Hera yet… n u noe hoae jelamus sheez getz!

                          I readed da “golden bough” as a teenmager, wuz wun hot buk!

                          momcat

                        • ChrissehKitteh says:

                          I lubs D’Aulaires, and a lot ov mai stoodent hab it. I teech dem miffs in teh context ov teh Latin, so taht tehy will (Ai hope!) unnerstand teh culchur bedder.

                          I dew haf to tone down sum parts — teh action between Leda an teh swan I referred to as bein “swannage” –teh 6th graders awl laffed an unnerstood it wuz PG-13, and tehy can’t kno taht stuffs!

                        • ChrissehKitteh says:

                          Ai remedy taht nao….O Hera, Ai bows down to yew, O Qween ov teh Hebbens…

                        • SolnEsther says:

                          I am having a real happy rereadin this thread. It was very rare that found NE one to talk miffology wiff while at big brew. Or any literature (John Grisham was big and Patterson ob korse). Here Ise got witty cultured aminal loving peeps who knows opera, classical moosic, classic literature, classic comix, art, science dis group is positively Jeffersonian. Kthx.

                        • ChrissehKitteh says:

                          Ai am habbin teh happee, too. Ai am teh noobie, butt Ai am soooo lubbin habbin teh cheezfrens. Evrybuddy tinks Ai iz stranj becos Ai teech Latin an uzed to teech maf an mai hed iz stuffed wif trivia. Yay ICHC!

          • CarolDiane says:

            Now the spacious house of Ucalegon crashes down in flames! That’s all I remember from book 4 from school.

  10. SolnEsther says:

    And the ten labors of Heracles (later upgraded to 12 because he cheated on two.)

  11. WannaSmile says:

    Oh noes! I has 3 heads!

  12. LifeLover says:

    The better to NOM with

  13. Aoife says:

    Fluffy!

  14. Electrice says:

    In the drawling, cerebruss luks much less fierss than I eckspeckted… it luks leik a labarode retreevur.

    • CheshireKittehKat says:

      Ai luuked ayt teh drawling aftur Ai red yur poast;

      Hmmmm, iyt duz luuk liek mai husbin taikin owr lellow Lolbradoar Retreevre fur a walkee-walkee!!

  15. Eric says:

    Ai dozent trust doze kittehs. Dey lookz teh evil…

  16. CheshireKittehKat says:

    Kittehs onna taupe ov byg kitteh sez;

    “Hitchin a ryde, hitchin a ryde;

    “Hitchin a ryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyde, hitchin a ryde!!!”

  17. Kat says:

    I just drank lots of booze and I think my eyes might have rebelled.

  18. HylasBrook says:

    I remember from the Illiad the oft-repeated phrase “Rosy fingered dawn”. With the kitties, one often gets “Pointy fingered dawn” if one does get up soon enough to feed them breakfast…..

  19. thornius says:

    Noe-Bah-dee putz aot mai AI!

  20. SallyKitteh says:

    Actually, Cerberus isn’t in the Illiad. He does appear in the Aeneid, though.

  21. kellykelly says:

    iz Purrberus!!!

  22. Emily says:

    Cerberus? not in the freaking Iliad. Try Aeneid.

  23. Shasmo says:

    Cerberus isn’t in ‘The Illiad’,is he?

  24. kth says:

    LoLberus!

    Im in ur gates, gardin’ ur Hades!

  25. pamski says:

    Yuo iz smart kitteh. Yuo haz clakisil eki.. laksikul decudashun… syklikul kittehdashu… smartz.

  26. Icelegs says:

    rong epic poem. teh iliad is about the trojan war


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