Oh, dis looks ni—
Oh, dis looks ni— wait.. Dat couch… it calls to me
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: October
« Previous I found a dust bunneh | Sloe death Next »
171 Comments »
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
Couch haz nicer upholstery to work withs….
I putz slazh heer, an’ little prikklyzpotz heer…… O? U see it? I haz a kuppl odder piessis I varee axcytid abowt too….
Artistic kitteh prefers the fine weave and colors of the nice couch to redo into a new design. A piece of sound op rope? Really, how pedestrian.
wound up rope, not sound op rope!!!!! Cookie! Get off the keyboard!!!!!
Yer rite ob course ther kitteh wounded roap scratchin post is much to pleabian fer a sofisticated kitteh lak dos, Oh how gauche! Perhaps someting in rich corintian lether, it appeals to muh tactile sensibility.
Yes - lether be nice - the more expensive, the betters.
I wuz jus “sittin’ Beloved Offsring’s 2 kitthehs, n iffen u’d scene teh fanC scratcheypost they were igsnorin wit disdane, n makin uss ub the nu sophie, u’d noes y i jus rund 4 water
Heh. I botted a nice wing chair fur mah home offis an I putted a skritchin post next to it so teh kittehs wudn’t bodder teh chare. Wun day I walked in teh dore an foun teh Biffer standin on her hind legs on toppa teh skritchin post, skritchin teh top of teh chare! She wsa varry grateful fur teh oppurtoonity to skritch at noo hites.
I builded a couch wif de big arms dat my Baggy cud skritch on to hiz hart’s dezire. Then wen he wuz older, I rapded hairy stringz roun der arm post so he cud skritch wile lying downz. NEfing for fer my Baggy boy.
ROFl: Doctorcat!!!!!!!!
Concats C’s H
and the odder recepients of not sekkund plaiz!
I drinks chocolits in Ur honor
Uz can has sum 2.
I’d make a comment if I could stop laughing @@@@@
To Smammie and Ambercat - lets sillibrate our tied not-sekkond by going shopping for new furniture, or az the kittehs thinks of it, new canvases for their art; new beds to snooze on, new bedpans to throws up on.
nawt to forgit rcepticle for mousey trophies (do nawt want)
New furniture? Could hav chaise nex 2 winnow 4 lookin out? And set ub Margarita glasses shaped like Cat-cuses?
Mah Injeh kitteh also lubs to scratch on dah spines of deh buks
hers are an intellekshual kitteh
Esme wants to teeth on teh spines of teh buks. While I’m reedin tehm, ob corse.
Oh Hai everbuddy - Ise bak for a short while 2nite. Scrollin hurts my head, still.
My advise? Ennywhun offers u a case of shingles, make sure tehy b talkin abowt roofin materials befor u accepts. 3 weeks now, an still cowntin.
Hopes you gets the shingles offa you and back on the roofs where dey belongs! Get Well soon! We be missing you!
omG!! mai papa had shingulz wun tiem. Him had loooottttza prednisone an’ loooootz of kremez an pritty mush nuffin halpd anewae. *gentle hugz* I sry!!! U can has sum iskreem an som cimmanin rolz too, heer. I sharz.
Ohh, hunny, taht’s the pitts! Mah hubby had teh shingles an it wuz teh offel. Ai bee prayin for yoor heelin. CC bless yoo!
owei, owei..shingles iz NO fUN. ai’s goin inna coupla weeeks to get inuc..enocu..shotz so ai neber get teh shingles. hope u feelz bettah soon!!1!
An taht gnu silky cuchin….an tohse shynee tings awn teh manntulpees….an….YUR BAER LEGS!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(it’s so much fun to choke on egg salad)
yessss it is fun.
Mai KB-kitteh sez him luffz meh wif awl 10 of himz frunt klawz.
FIrst?
no. U can not has. Is nawt yors.
O Hai, Elfie, Iz yur spring brake? ai notis yu wur wif us urlier tudai.
noez, is nawt. I is having misk… um…. missc…. um… gurl isshooz so I iz hoam todae. Doktur sez dat da mini-elfi whut startid growin izznt growin no moar, sed I shud taek it eezee an’ “let naychur taek itz korss” whish meenz ai iz sad an so ai need moar cheezburgurz (an’ lawtz ov napping an’ izekreem).
Por Elfi - much sad-for-yu feelings an hedbonks. Rap yursef in tihs floofy blankee and juss ly kwyet. Ai’s holding yu in teh lyt
K fankoo.
Iz varee sad bakuz I telld mai hubbin’s mumma dat she be gramma an it maekd hur happyizt pursin evar… nao… no, sry, i wuz rong… I feels rilly awfulz but evrywun sez is nawt nobuddee’s falt but I rilly feelz liek I telld her big fat lie but I dint, I sware, I had da testz an evryfing. 
so I dunnoez whut to axpekt, iz liek havingz momflee fing on-an-off so I dunno. Juz sad. I wuz doing OK wif it but den I got a “KONGRACHYULAESHINZ!!” kard in da mael sined “luv ‘gramma’” an I jus kryd.
Its a rollercoaster, and they won’t let you off right now. Just hang on tight, eventually the ride will slow down and come to a stop. Honest.
Dear Elfinugget -
So sorrys to hear your situatshun. Sumtimes Nature be a bitch. But rest up, look at the pikshurs of the silly kittehs to make you smile; I don’t bakes that often, but for you I did a komplete turkey dinner with stuffing, mashed taters, gravy, and kranberries. PLUS the most inkredible choklate kake in da world (used Zauberflote’s recepee), PLUS baklava.
…
I will also sends over mai Little Tiny Cookie to lay wid you; her purring and sweet counte…kountinen….um, face lifts everyone’s spirits.
Lots of love to you Elfinugget, and our prayers are with you.
Elfi–u may never get this b/c I’m like two days late reading here, but (((((((((((Elfi))))))))))))).
D Marie is right about the rollercoaster. I have btdt twice, and it was a bitch both times. Take your time grieving, no matter what people say. Get counseling if u want, too. Rest, cry,and after the nasty part is over, get plenty of sunshine (my theory that sunshine regulates teh hormonez……
Is berree hard - Ai’s oenlee dun it wun-step-remoobed; mai sis has been Goin to be a Mummy” too tyms an tehn wusn’t. No reesun; juss happens. She sed “Baybee borked, no can be”. Be she feeled borked too. It happuns moer tahn peepul ses, yu’ll see, lots ob peeps will nao sai “me too”. Nawt taht it halps mush rite nao, wen yu as teh sad! Ann kryin is ok. An resting. An nomming choklit. An snorgling kittehs!
Oh — I naw haz a sad fer yu, Elfi.
*wieps awai teers wif foofy pawz*
Yewz nao in meh thots & prayrz.
{{{{{Elfi}}}}}
Dear Elfie, ai aim kryng tew wen ai seez ur sadz msg . . . sew vry sry fur U. Ai send U luv, lyt en hope.
Oh Elfinugget, bofe Esther an I are sorry to hear ob yer situation, axually we hab been frew dis ourselves a couplea times and we empathize - if it makes you sad, we sad too, if you is sekretly relieved, we’se relieved wid you. Esther an I hab been on bofe sides of dis fents and we offers support no matter wut. Esther says hot tea and cold tile hepped her.
oh elfinugget, muches hugs to yoo.
Please cast out NE notions of nawt being good mother. I am positive you will be an excellent one, when tiem is right. Just taek gud care of yerself nao and yoo will find teh meny ovvers who habs teh experince and can talk wif yoo about dis later. We iz thinkin ob yoo, holdin yoo in teh lyte.
{{{{{elfi}}}}}
Elfnugget, az yew can see- yw R in owr hartz… Nowe that yew R cared abowt. Awl in His time…
{{{{{Elfie}}}}}
Elfi-luv, yoo bee in mai prayerz, too. Tuff dai todai, itt luks liek. Been thare, dun taht, gawt teh tee shurt, an is noe piknik. Lolspeak aside—GOD knows, and He cares. Feel free to tell Him how you feel—He’s big enough to take it! (You should have heard me after our youngest died!) Remember that part of what you’re feeling is hormonal issues—rollercoaster time!—and it is fine to feel that way. I can’t be there in person to hug you, but
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{elfi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}—an kisses frum teh kittehs, tew.
{{{{{{{elfinugget}}}}}}}}
Ai made a spesshul Cheezburger for yew,an Also sum hoammayde
icekreem.
.
Hedbonks gentlee,an butterfly Schmooz frum me an mai Kittehz.
Be good to yourself, and treat yourself to all teh izekreem and whateber else you want. I’m helping Ambercat hold you in teh light.
oh {{{{{Elphie!}}}}} wii’s noe ur sadness. Doktur iz rite, mus rst n B careful: feet upon cushie, hed on plo, hot tea w/sugar and some snorgling. Looks at awl the kitteh pikturs 2 help stay away the sad.. the sad iz whats hurtz most. New pan of Brownies is reddy? Want?
{{{{{{{{{{{{{chzfrenz}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} u iz awl da bezt, fankoo so much. Ur rite, Smammie, teh sad, it hurts mozt. I tryin’ to sae, o, u kno, it happinz…. I wuz awl on dat paeg… den I got da cyoot kard an den…. *sad*.
I mostlee sad about da not-mini-elfi but then also is konsurnd abowt da prosess too, whut if mai body sez NO I KEEPZ IT!!! den I needs surjaree? I juz maek shur I nont git a infekshin an stuf, kuz dat also be bad.
I maekd som cimmanin-rolz whut komz in da pop-toob. dey is yummyz.
{{{{{{{{elfnugget}}}}}}}}}}
maryo! have yu left yet? awr yu bak?
*pownsez awn maryo*
{{{{{{{{{{{mary sweepea O’Spockn}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{Elfi}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{elfi}}}}}}}}}}
I has been dere too. You has all our good wishes, an prayers too.
I’m so sowy, Elfi. Dis b awful tiem fur u.
I’ll send sum good vibes to u, and hopes dat u feelz better.
{{{{{Elfie}}}}}
Taek care ov urseff.
Dere Elfinugget,
Ai loast a bebbeh tu; gess weez cud forms a klub wif awl the Cheez Frends taht tihs heppined tu.
Pleez, pleez du nawt worree; jes taike guud caire ov yurseylfe, adn doan ebben fink bout enny bad stuf taht can oar cannawt heppin;
Itz rlly haurd, butt trie tu hav a lil happee adn fink guud thots;
Weez gunna praiy fur yu adn keap yu iyn oawr harts & thots;
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Elfinugget}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Ambercats comment dat follows was posted before we had reason for nawt bean goofy, she didn’t know. And anyways who doesn’t love Ambercat? Her heartis gold, her timing is sumtimes a lill tarnish.
{{{{{elfinugget}}}}} i has noffing clebber to sai or add, but yu are in mai hart todai.
Hi Elfinugget, iz me agin - I haz story about scratchee kittee that I hope makes U smile…
…..
A few years ago, I made the mistaek of picking out a new sofa and luvseet that had a heavy weeve-upholstery. Of corse kittehs set about re-doing the weeve rite away. A kouple years after my new huzband kame to live in mai house (and he did not grow up wid kittehs in da house), to his shocked and appalled self he diskovered kittehs had akshually clawed out an opening in side of couch through which they kuld come and go into couch (opening hidden ny koffee table, thank Ceiling Cat). Huzband akshually fell onto couch in state of shock, like Admiral Kirk fell into hiz command chair when he knew the Klingons had killed hiz son.
ZOMGZ!!! Teh LOL!! Mai gurlz VAREE gud about klawingz on klaw-furni… ok maebee jus a LITTLE pikky at da karpit an stuff, but overawl, VAREE gud abowt klaw-furni. Well den I adoptid Bastien, him wuz ousside wif no klawz!! I feeld sry for him so I lettid him liv inside wif us. Him wud git awl crankee at da gurls an go STRAIT OVUR TO KLAW-FURNI and flex hims paws on it liek him klawin’ it. laetur him diskovurd the edge of an exercise mat and he’d strum his paws on teh ej ov it.
KB… him snift da klaw-furni an’ den went strayt foar da kowch. PIK PIK PIK. Is lethur kowch. I meen, is old kowch, an is reddee foar retyrmint, but…. pikpik pik.. LOL.
Hazel claws mah pateeyo doorz tew matchstiks.
She gits unner teh bed at nite an claws teh wodden poast inna middle
dat howlds teh bed up!!
Fern clawz teh carpets awl a tyme.-Dey gots a hooge kitteh pod an skritcin poast but -NOPE- teh furnishins am teh bestest!!!
-
Wen ai wuz liddle my Looby-Lou Kitteh yoosed tew hang upsyd down unner
teh bed yoozin her pointy enz awn the mateeryal.She goe rown an rown lyke a dervish fer minits at a tyme den flump down awn her bak!!!!
oh, iz aslo so sry. ai wnt du sumfing els fur a lil wile nd cum bak tu se yu hab sad misforchunit event. Hoap yu iz fele bettur sune.
Hugs and cheezbrgrs, Elfi. I am sorry to hear about your situation. Us cheezfrens will always be here for you (and anyone else who needs us). Lord knows I’ve needed my frens in the last few years, and they’ve been there for me. Makes me want to be there for then, , of course.
Makes me want to be there for them, even. And even more than I wanted to before….
O Hai Elfinugget, {{{{Elfinugget}}}} ai hopez taht