Sloe death
Sloe death by a boring meeting
no. rly im sew interestd in wut yoo haz 2 say.
picture: Julie Auriemma. lol caption: ichc_stashlet
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Is I ferst?
ferst only in that you arrived first, but iz afrayd you get D—– for cleverness or funniness of a real “nawt-sekkond” comment.
Maybe one of the other cheezefrend kan better ’splane the nawt-sekkond comments to Eve, who maybe a noobie to the sandbox. I gots to go watch Star Wars now…..
Iz moar fun tew come up wif sumfing clever or funnee to sai ravver dan jus sayin “ferst” (which is kinda frowned upon). Den if yew rilly are “nawt sekkund,” ppl laff & offer drinks & dansins. An if sumwun else gets teh tawp spawt, youz still maed a clevver commint & can getz teh laffs from teh cheezpeeps.
At leest datz mai unnerstandin…
Yew unnstanz gud, I has only had wun nawt sekkund portunity and I cooden think ob nuttin witty to say so I let it pass. Better layte than lame.
Troo, troo, SolnEsther,
I azo haz had teh oprtunity 4 nawt second.. But the dreddid “brane freez” gottid meh bofe tymez!!!
AAAArrrrrrgggghhhh!!!!!
.
.
I hatez wen taht hapinz!
Kin ai be nawt tree huntret? Ai dunt haz ainytin kleva tu sai eiva, but dat’s auka koz aim nawt nawt nawt sekkund.
Jd,
U R in ICHC -land … U can B, or haz, or dew ANYFING, ANYWAIR, ANYTYME..
Taht’s the majik heer…
U, mai frend, R welcum. Dont B afrayed… We R glad to hab U….
Come on in the wadder’s fyne!!!!
Noe won tailz yew bowtda froze brayne, buh Ai wuz tharn win Ai sawd noe udder komintz @peakoct. Neerlee wuz nawt nawt sekkund.
Eve:
“Doan gib uhp, coz yew haz cheezfrens
Doan gib uhp, yewr nawt teh onee wun
Doan gib uhp, noe reesun tew bii ashaimd….”
Sayme ting heppined tu me;
Gautz teh brane freez adn culdn’t tipe fas enuff.
(Felted liek wun-aurmed paypur-haynger!!)
i has been tryin tu post a comment an its nawt wurkin. iz gettin phrustraytid….
i r want cheezpeeps tu be mai nu fwends, plz?
nvrmnd… i figgurd it aut. i not slo, i swear….
i come berring taystee noms for all. i is a nubee, tu.
o hai, lightchild79, welkom to teh cheez peepz, i duznt post heer a lot cuz
but iz verree fun an all teh nise peepz are
i am teh verryy shy
welkomd. wun tiem i bringed tastee choklit burfday caek from mai boyz’z
burdayz – ebreewun luvs teh tastee noms heer! an since its teh majikal
intertoobs, tehere iz no shugur or kalrees or anyfing peepz maybe not
sposed to eat!! sos ebreewun can enjoys!!1!
i r sew hapee i haz a chzpeep! u r so sweet lunar…i give you iced sweet tea an moonpie from texas…. much luv to my ‘peeps
LOVE, PEACE, AN CHICKEN GREASE!!!!
Witch eppzode?
Eve iz a noob – she shurlee did nawt know.
Eve – pleez to nawt be sad. If we had the burgers, what wud nau happen iz that yoo wud get teh verree low burger voats.
But this does NOT meen taht we don’t like yoo. Has nuthing to do wif likeing YOOO!!!
But wee ar verree fussee heer about teh peeple in teh tawp spot. As SolnEsther said, we hav awl passed up awn the chanz to hav ar commint there becuz we cudn’t think ov sumthing clever enuf fast enuf.
It’s nawt a rool – just teh way we think. So pleez – be welcome heer and com and play wif us, if you liek. Just remember teh taupe spot iz fur us verree speshul
Concatulayshunz, eve.
even iph yew dun sed teh nawtee ‘f’ werd.
Mebbeh nex tiem yew am nawt sekund teh abillyT 4 mekkin teh prowpree8 commint will happen 4 yew.
Oh hai Eve!
Welcume to ICHC.
We r glad that yu’re here. Iz much fun to get teh top spot on a new pic. But, one ov teh reasons it iz so fun, iz because when some ov us see “No Comments,” iz difficult to cum up wif a cleaver comment. Purrsonally, I hab had an OK comment to maek, but it’s nawt a GRATE comment, so I juss wate a minute to gib sumone else a chance for a Grate comment in the Top Spot.
.
Plz doan feel badz. Lots ov peeps maek dis mistake when tehy come heer. We doan hab any actual rools, so iz nawt like u borked a rool or ennyfing. Iz juss moar ov a custom. Akshully, teh onwee rool iz to be nice to awl teh odder peeps here. I’m sure dat won’t be a prolem fur u.
.
So, juss jump rite in and start maeking moar comments. We r alwais happy to hab noo frenz here!
{{{{{Eve}}}}}
Welcum!
{{{Romeow}}}
Lubbly kynd werdz.
.
Welkum Eve
Meh. Noo peopples allus drop teh f bomb unlessn dey sees sum udder nOOb gets teh beatdown for it. Like me.
But I ony has wun nawt-sekkun cause you gotsta bees fass around dis playse.
DavecanhasDrTinycat!!! Did we beet yoo down???? Oh, wen wuz taht? Ai am so sorree.
Did wee say reelee awful things to yooo. Ai doo hope nawt.
But at leezt we didnt’ skeer yoo away. An for that, ai am vereee happee indeed.~~
Cuz yoo shurlee know taht ai hearts yoo a lot!!!
O Hai, JCH4K – I just returned from watching Star Wars epysode 4, which used to be epysode 1, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
I haz a qwestjun that maybe U could answer wid your vast arrays of nowlege. I needs a CD of ancient Hebrew moosik – the lyre, the horn, the drums, perhaps an ancient chant in Hebrew…to use az a background for a reading of the Psalms. Akshually, if there be a CD where the Psalms be done in Hebrew wid the ancient musikal akkompaniment, that wuld be ekseelent (but no violins, pianos, etc! Anchent instruments onlee!!!) Does you know of any such CD? My cownty library could not be komming up wid aneething.
Little Tiny Cookie sends U a slow, kontented blink of her eyez.
An O Hai to yoo, CH.
ai doo nawt know ov such a CD – but tehere probalee iz. ai doo haz sum peepl hoo mite know.
ai will ask – it cud take a coupla dayz to get an anser. Certanle teh ancient heebroo mesik shud be eezee to find.
An ai return eh slow kontenteded blink to teh adorabul Tiny Cooke!!1t
Do Nawt Look at me! Ise too sekkular to be any hep wid dis. We’se reform Jews, udders calls us goyim.
Hehe nopes. I wuz one of dem nOObs what saw anudder beatdown do I din’t makes dat mistake.
o, iz liek FARK I meen srslee is varee hard to git nawt-sekkun. I’s bin arownd foar aejiz, an sins it got rilly goingz, I has got onlee wun not-sekkun… Dat iz, sins lotsa peepul be kommentin an stuf. Usdtabe I wuz nawt-sekkin on a lots of dem but dat wuz when wus onlee liek 10 pplz maeks kommintz. LOL
–E
If u hab Total Far is elebbuntee times eeseer. Butt i no longer cares cuz
dey is crazy dare. I likes us-unns better. Glad too see ur nuggetttee
self, too!
gud job, eve! yu awr noo adn awlreddy gotz yur nawt sekkund nawt sekkund! ai awr still waytin foar myn!
ohai no 1 in particular! sumwun finked ai wuz yu teh odder dai, an telled me ai maed a grate commint. sew ai want to pass on teh komp…camel…compli…nise werds to da perssin who tehy was ment four–yu! i am goeeng to chanje mai nicknaem soon to avoyd such confusshuns in da fyooture, but i habbent figgerred owt what yet.
Nadia
tanx, No1! ai neededed taht tew brietin mai dae a bit. {{{Nadia}}}
Nadia iz Sum1 !!!
oh, fanks idansdansdans, taht’s a grate ideeya!!!!1! I will be…Sum1!
Nadia
Yaaayy!!! I luvvit!!!
Welcum 2 teh whirld Sum1!!
YAY! u r Sum1! {{{{{Sum1}}}}}
so r u, no 1 in particular.
An dat furst ur waitin furr? We’ll bee dere tuggedurr.
♥
Now hows dat furr sending a warm fuzz?
tanx, kafleen! {{{kafleen}}}
ai am sum1, just no 1 in particular!
*looks around, wisspurs to no 1 in particular……*
Ah, no 1, teh uddur day I wuz tinkin bowt u sayin dat. Wutt came too
mind wuz sumfing verreh byootifull butt very hard too describe. I wuz
thinking bowt how wehn we looks at eech udder we sees bodies an
stuff. Den I had teh moast byootiful imaginin dat wen teh Makur looks
at us hee see our souls, an dat our souls, wen seeubbul, were
elebbentee google times moar byootiful den dose speshul glass
sculpchurs wiff all teh swirlee colors and threads and majikull stuffs
in dem and dat dey are full of colors and teh moast eyeboggling
ethereal wisps of living parts dat all be wisspurrin and communicatin
an doin dere bizzy God wurks.
An dat eech wun is verreh verreh differunt frum teh next an He looks
at eech wun an marvels at his creashun.
Dat’s wutt i wuzz thinking.
Butt I’m kinda weerd dat way
why wurd press do dat wiff the paragraff an make it all big like?
* Psst, Kafleen*
Wierd Press jus wantz 2 gib U lotsa spayse 4 the byutiful wordz U pozted.
.
Sownds lyke wut Cheeze an Tofu mus be finkin wen tehy luk at ICHC – land..
* Onlee ebben MUSH moar speshul an beyutiful.*
Hope dey are frying up lots ub cheezburgurs wile doin dem
looks…
hint hint
Yoo haz a WUNderful pikchur ob hao He sees uss. {{{{{kafleen}}}}}
tanx kafleen! yu awr soooooh rite! {{{{kafleen}}}}
Wurdpress do dat to make you look silly when yer bean searius but we are nawt fooled. You gotta good kinda weerd. Still weerd but good weerd.
peepul doo tell mee dat, heehee
dat iz bery byootiful, kafleen
Tanks, U! ♥
Seems like u sed dat twice ….
Kafleen, sumtimes God gives a liddle glimpse of whut it must be like to be GOD – like how you deskribed how you thot God sees us, and like whens we sees a cute liddle animal and loves it and feels a konneckshun to it, and when we sees sumthin so beeyutiful that it takes our breath away – a pikshur of a far away nebula, or a beeyutiful flower at our hand. Iz a reminder from de Lord that we all be konnected to Him and to eech udder and to everything else there iz.
…I be happy to feel connected to Kafleen: a beeyootful donkey wid a rainbow that surrounds her.
OOOooooo.. The nebula pikshurs are sew WIN… It gibs meh teh goozebumps.. and bringz home teh nowlidge taht we R but a mote….
He trooly werks wunderz!!!
Mah mommeh gabe me a ring wiff a big purple stone dat
looks like you are lookin into teh sparly universe….so byootifull
an hypnotizing…
I lubs teh nebula pickshurs too…
tanks all u guys furr teh wunnurfull tings u say. I like teh
donkee rainbow image.
yew am deffinetlee teh ‘glowin’ donkey, kafleen!!1
.
Much WIN 4 yur bewtiful werdz!!!!!!11
.
yew am nawt weerd – yew am juz ‘ryt’ een whut yew sai
an dat awso mex yew juss ryt!!
.
yew am teh ‘jussryt’ donkey. kik up yur hoovz an plai!!!1
awwww…
{{{{gibbocat}}}}
Kafleen, tahtz teh bootiful. Ai be up written sermonz fur mai lay speekrs calss and u gibbed me a grayt idee. Fanks beree mush.
*Donkee cries out with glee: Ripples! an huggs self
wiff chills!*
Bless ur littull hart! ♥
Ripples in still water
where der is no pebble tost,
no wind to blow?
Wowsers, Kafleen! Dis bees wun ov the moastest mystikal, p metaphoricull, adn theeologicull peeces uv finking taht Ai haz runned acroast inna lawng tyme!!11!!
Ai’m gunna hasta paunder dis wun fur awile; Cannawt taike awl ov dis thot iyn wun sytting:
(Teh LORD iys tu iyncomprehensibel adn iynscrutable tu trie tu figger aowt inna cuppla minuteses!!!!
Adn nebber iyn dis lyfetyme!!)
Adn yu bee nawt weerd; yu ar a Philosophurr!!
ai lubs it!!
i thot ur commint wuz about whut dis resigned korporat kat wuz thinking,” Is i ferst?…i wanted 2 present last dis tyms…o well”
Mebee ur rite!
Iffs dat iz teh case, I will be teh FURST one to puts mah foot in mah mouf.
Eve will hab to let us kno.
needz sloe jin!
*handz ober a glass ob sloe jin*
-
New ai wuz sabin dis fer a speshull okkayshun
Mah fizz iz gone.
Izn’t the sloe jin fizz wut Stagger Lee bought for Delia DeLion afore she shawt him inna bawlz?
Stagger Lee am a tradishunal sawng covered by menny bandz includng the Grateful Dedz. ltz about an oletyme baddazz who shot a guy over a $5.00 Stetson hat.
There R manny verzhuns uv the song/story (Stagger Lee wuz a reel purson, BTW). In the verzhun I’m familya wif, Delia walked in2 tha bar room an shot Stagger Lee in tha lokashun yu menshuned as he wuz standing at tha bar liting a zingarette. This goez to prove that smokin iz bad for yer helth.
Oar sumfin!
Dat sowns liek a purrsunul pwoblum.
Sorree – kuddunt halp maiself.
mah fizz bin gawn for a lawwwwwwwwwng tyme!!
ai fink ai needs a carbunasian refillz!! den ai kin be fizzy an dizzy an ebbryting!!
Iz gotz sum fast gin over here (Tanqueray Ranjpur) , limes & tonic water, coud do ina pinch?
Wh00t Wh00t!!
Dis ma fave drinksy-Evva!!!
.
Okay Cheezfrenz wun an awl-Iz tyme fer beddybyez heer in TTI 1.10am.
Dis kitteh draggin her sorree bee-hind up teh Applez an Pearz tew Beddlington.
Awl teh splortin merjinzees dun wore me owt tewnite.
An Mr T.M gots teh ‘Man floo Majer Pleh!’ Ai nursded himz awl nite lass nite an awl dai tewdai,sew ai r startin tew hallocinayte wib teh tyredness.
Hab fun an plai nyce nao.
Nitey nite
Sleepy tite
Keep teh CHRG(wdoi) awn tite!!
Sleep well, Tidmum!
Nitey-nite, Tidmum! {{{{{Tidmum}}}}}
Nites Tidmum.
Oooo…is 80 degrees heer – I fink a G&T woud be nice.
Fank Yew!
Sowy, dat wud be a TNT, nawt a G&T.
Makes myn bokatonix, wif bigs hunk ob limes.
Aboluootly.
Me too. Only make mines wif — whut else — Stole-y. kthxhic
@@@@@@@@@@
I raise my glass in a salute to you. Dis plaice b da bes werd gaem eber. Full ub wut & whimsey, n noe radishes
Uh, Smammie…do u kno ware u putted ur glass?
I doan seem to see it enny ware.
probly same plaice az karkeyz..that saaf plaice, so saaf eben i cannoe finez it
Wyt rong wif radishes? Deys nummy! Specially radish sammidge!!!
A rasdish sammich??? Hao doo yoo maek it? ai laiks teh radishes too, but I nebber hurd ov a radish sammich>
ai finx yew has tew slice dems rilly rilly fine!! if yew left dems whole wud be kinda lumpy???
Yeah gotsta slice em thin, udderwize you cud choke on dems lumps.
Den jus a lil salt maybe an dats it. Dats how I likes em eneewayz. I magine you cud puts all sorts of udder yummy stuffs awn it, tho.
yummmmmmmmz, a whole noooooooo whirld!! ai lubs dis plaic!!
Sum1 else eetz deh radish sammidgez??!?!?!?!!?1?!
My hubby b thimking I b nutz cuz I eetz deh radish
sammichez!!!! But him lubz teh radishez.
.
Iz ez to make:
get 2 slices bred. putting butterz on 1 side uv each uv dem.
Slicing deh radishez. Put deh radish slicez on deh buttered side uv 1 slice uv bred. shaking deh salt on deh radishez. put uzzer slice uv bred on top, butter side down.
.
nom nom nom nom nom nom nom
moar plz.
ai had a spishun yew had tew slaic dem. will be tryin teh sammish tooo….. but maibe wit mayo an nawt teh butter
Yeah mees mom usta makes dem for mees when I was yittle. I still lubs em.
Aib neber eeted dat — but nao ai will hab to try. Ai lubs radishez wif salt – wud prolly be gud as sammich.
mai age, i shows it. paraphrasing Groucho in “Horse Feathers” lady sez, “u so full ub whimsy” Groucho sez “U can tell from ober dere? i z uzully dat way after eatin’ radishes”
mii? I lubs da cyoot liddle buggers, sliced, diced, juillened…. butt (snicker) dey gibs mii a case ub da whimsy 2
Oh, oh, oh!! Is Marx brudders joke!!!
Don’t you hate it wen you floats dis kool an funny refrince out dere an nobodies gets it?!?!
Ah hates dat!
Wuz just abowt tu aks if we hab sum dat. if ambur nawt wantz ai’ll hab sum.
Just abowt dat tiem ub dai heer. Sun iz ober yardarm. wutebber dat meenz
yesh……jus wut teh heck is a yardarm…. berry gud qwestshun
heeeeeeeeer’s teh yardarm anser
http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-ove1.htm
Yardarm is the fing that teh sail hang frum on wun ob dem old timey square-rigged sailin shipses. Like the cross piece part.
Having acshullay crewed briefly onna square rigged ship lemme say dat Dave is right on. Back here on shore, we pour when the sun is over the clothsline which on particular ruff days can be arranged if finding a comfy spot onna lawn upon whic to lie. Find the proper asimuth an elevation and you can comense drinking at noon.
lemme know iffen you want the details regarding being hung from the highest yard (never actually done – just a good threat – highest yard too high fer a hanging).
Dtas ony fur teh bad kittehs.
Brayce teh t’gallants Mr. Bush!
I haz always luvved the old sailing ships; took an afternoon cruze on one; huzband helped to hoist the sails. Meanwhile I practiced the “rolling gait” of an old salt.
Ai luvs da wai yew cojitait, Sol! Seez wai Esther so fawnda yew, tew.
cogito ergo sum – er is dat coito ergo sum? I fergets muh latin idioms
Hao bowt cogito ergo spud? “I think therefore i yam?
Acshul, Esther lykes me cause I hav a great big hefty … trustfund.
Iz DAT wut tehy callz itt dese dais!
spoze she haz yuuuuge…
trackz o land?
I lubs me sum Horatio Hornblower an Cap’n Jack Aubrey bookses.
I’se tempted to reread allah the Jack Aubrey books in the proper order to see is ders contin… cottonuit … a nonstop story line that enhantses th eksperients.
Yardarm iz sumpthin awn a boat…. ai fink eets teh lawng pole, paralollel wif teh watur, et teh bottum uv teh sayl…. sew, if ’sun is ober yardarm’, eets gittin reddy tu set…. an tym fur rum!!
Enneywun else?? Izzat rite? Oar, du ai needs tu by a clew?
oopsy! Shooda ‘refreshed’!
Deh yardarm b a part of a shipz masts. When deh sun b hi enuff
2 b appearing 2 b abuve deh yardarm, iz time 4 the nawt-sekkund
rashun uv rum.
.
worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-ove1.htm
(u b noeing wut to b putting in frunt uv dat)
.
*Raizzez glass uv rum to cheezpeepz stuk in mtg.
I feelz ur pain.
I feelz tree heevenz pain 2, Shudda refreshed.
.
move along peepz. nuffing 2 b seeing here.
Nawt-sekkund on teh yardarm fing!!!
Ooops!!! Not sposta bragg!!!
fanks 4 awl teh info on teh yardarm………. aim shur wuns it cums up agin ai will be askin teh qwestshun agin
mai memry…….. let me shoes yew it is gawn!!
Duz taht mean wii can haz cerebrashunz? wif dansing adn
drinkeez? Adn parteeez in deh nawtee barn??? After awl
it iz friedegg nite.
.
Wut u say DCHDTC? (whew, dat’s almos az long az teh
hole name!)
Yes yes! Dwinks an dansin!!!
I dun dans berry gud, but after bout 6 bokatonix, I dusn’t care no more.
Bored bored bored bored bored.
Bordnuss. I haz it.
Nao I noes y iz called teh bored room.
@@@@@
Orly? I thinked it was called “board room” because they made all their decisions wif a Ouija board. Or mabye a dart board.
Naw. Eever wud maek beddur dessishunz dan teh bossee hyoomins rownd heer.
eye haz teh ‘drawin bord’ rume..
but it am moar 4…… prowkraztynaytinz!!
Well u’r a professhunal drawrer, so that makes sense. If u wasn’t, u would be amatyoorkraztinating.
Dis Picshure bringz new meenin tew teh werd “Boardroom”-Bordum moar lyke
Me 2.. I izzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Dis kitteh is just waiting fer a break inna blathering so he can raise a paw an “Move to adjorn” ( a motion to adjorn is always in order) Sekkund! All in fabber? Motion passed, habba nyce weekened.
I can haz meh bodee back?
Plz? Srsly.
Kthxbai.
Hedkat gets ahed.
Gets ahed by steppin on all teh…
oh wate, dat nawt wurk fur Hedkat.
Nebermind.
Gets ahed wif cuttfroat bordrooms tactix!!!!
Stabs hims coworkers in teh bak!!!!
LOL!!! DavechDTc – soundz liek yoo werkz wehre ai used to werk!!!
ai can laff now – then wuz nawt so funne!!!
Yeah been dere. Not dere now, fortoonitlee.
I’z so bored, I doan eben hab teh energy to liff enny ov mah poyntee ends to you.
But, iffs one moar purrson has sumpfing to add, I juss mite find teh will power to do it.
Iffs u was awl as quiet as I am, we wudda been outta here an hour ago.
Meeting cat iz not amused by ur clever Graph…
LOL. @@@@@
yew can has pie chart?
apple
blueberry
cherry?
Date
Eggplant
Fruitcake?
Dewberry
Egg Custaerd (liek tehre’s enny uvver kind)
Fresh peech
G…
Goosberrys
Homemade cherrys pie is meh favorites!!!
Ice kwemes. Gotsta has icekremes wif pie.
J…
Jello pie!
K…
Keylimes!!! NomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNom
limun!
meat pie
nutty pie
oreo pie!
pecan pie
q…
queesh!
R…
Fings ai wud ravver b dooing rite nao…
Amazon.com (looking at it)
Bayking cookies
Climbing up hie on fings teh hyoomins dun wan meh to clime on…
Driving too da beech
Eating dark chocolate wif marzipan centres
Finding da perfeck bra
Gettin a massaj (mebbe frum Chiropractor Bunneh)
Hedding hoem insted uv werking.
Ice Creem – eetin lotz uv it… prefurrablee frum Cold Stoen
jesting whilst jousting
kickin back
lounging
Jumpin ona bed
Kikkin up de heelz
lubbin ebbree minut
Maikun sum noyz
Nomming sum gudz
Ogling teh pritty calico down teh street
Pursooing teh mowsies
Qwiklee attakin yer shoolayses wen u taek off ur shooz
rollin in teh catnip
sleepin on ur lap( or laptop )
teazin teh lolbuns
Uzing yaw shu fer a litterboks
Vying wib teh udder kittehs fer teh best bits ob gushifud
Watchin teh kreetchurs dat I let owt run rown teh howse
Xeroxing mah fuzzee tush.
Yearning to katch teh birdeez dat ar owtsied eben tho Iz an insied kitteh.
Zooming rownd teh howse wif teh kitteh deemuns (oar teh post-potty crazies).
*
*
*
Tidmum – ai fot u went to bed. Welkum bak – but shuddunt yew be sleepin?
OMG… Xeroxing fuzzee tush
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Florence b****y Nightingale duty heer!!
Jess gotted reddy tew switch orf an itz …*dwink pleez.coff.Tablets plz.
sniff..i’m hot..i’m cold…* Phstttttrrrbbbbbb tew Man floo!!
.
Rite. Try agen.
.
Gud nite awl.
See yew awn Caturday-Wayte -IZ Caturday in TTI
Wen Ai wus doin mai Teechertrayning Ai wus subjekted to a lekchor awn Teh 1944 Edumacayshun Akt – teh lecherer putted it awn teh oberhed perjektor (pre-pow or poynt). An he red it to us. An he gayv us fotokoppes ob it. An its nawt so grayt akchully to start wit! Mai boredom, Ai nawt need to sho yu it; it kleer fore awl to see!
not anudder pwr pnt presentayshun. Need pwr nap.
yup, ai can SEE teh slyd – yu donut need to reed it to me as well! An if yu gib me a handowt ob teh hoel slydsho Ai’ll luk at teh pikchurs an nawt lissen to yu at awl! Sry? Wut yu juss aks me? Ai can has teebraek nao?
U likez powr pnt? I showz U sum powr POINTZ all right. Elebenty or more!
bllllaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh…meh
I fink I wuz in dis meetin on Wennsdy. Free . . . farkin . . . hours.
next tyme ask Dr. Tinycat 2 page u out of teh meetin.
They hab a servis liek dat!
You can arrange to hab ur cell phone ring at a certain time…liek fur a meeting or a furst date or sumpfing. Juss in case u wanna get out ov it. There is an actual recording, in case teh odder purrson oberheers teh call, ot wont sound liek a fake – which it iz.
Wurst part bowt it is meh bawss say: “Can yous sit in dis meetin? I fink I needs the imput of sum IT tipes.”
So I “sitted in” for free stinky owers.
DO NOT WANT!
*laffs at ‘free stinky owers’*
Yeah I fink it wuz meh feets.
U onlee needs a sekund too gib sume stinkee input, an den leeve. “I gotz
ur input rite heer, pointee hared boss.”
/8-O Did I say dat?
Dis pitcher bringz bak deh horribull memreez. Awl deh owerz wasted in deh werfless meetingz lisseningz to teh PHB rattling on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn on adn zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz Hmphb? sningt? Wha??? Iz it ober yet? Can wii b going home noaw? hab sum gushi fudz? koffee?
.
But, sadly, no, jamamkitty, tehy won’t throwing u out uv deh meeting no matter wut u say. trust me, I hab tried dat. Tehn teh meeting just getz longer wyle teh PHB tellingz u how 2 b adjusting ur attitudez. Adn how u b teh only 1 who b thinking dis way adn how it b teh rong way to b thinking.
NO!!
Dey needs too adjust DEY!! attitudes!!!
1. Dey needs to reed Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends and Influence
People”
2. Dey needs to treat employees wiff respect and talk to dem in such
a way dat not like childrun. And not bore dem wiff foolishness. Teh
human beeins deserve a meetin dat stimulates dere mind, not make
dem resentful an sleepy.
3. Dey needs to employ Teh Donkey Fillossophee.
Just cause it bidness dussunt meen it has too bee pleh an putt u
too sleep.
Oh Kafleen!!1!!! ROFL!!elebnty!!!!!
If only it werked taht way!!!
I yuseta bring notebook 2 boringly meetings. Wud take notes here & there wif fake interested X-presshun on face. then wud flip over a fyoo pages an draw not so flattering kartoons uv everywun around tabl.
I usta hafta teach a class at Big brew an I try to make it nawt boring. In wun segment ob the class I hadda make six poynts so I spended sum time wif several CHRGs an sum rubber cement and cotton balz making a 6 finger glove so I could pop up a finger for each poynt. Wus fun hearing haf the room start to larf and de udder haff habin no clew.
I alzo hadda lil detabaise for pwactise wiff der soffwares and it had 150 rekerds wiff personnel sort info: foist n lass name-date hyre-date birf-sex- sex at birf. Is a lawta werk coming wif 150 names but I had fun. I had allah der 63 Mets, I had such lumin…loominar… lunar… famoust folks as Sally Goodbody, Joe Mama, Burton Nerny … fun. Big tough fer me to nawt git muhseff in trubbah.
wihst i toughta dat….
@@@@@
Dat sownd hilareeus an awsum! I wish ebburboddee putted teh fun
thots into dere wurk in dat kinda creeatub way!
This cat is me. I’ve died about eight slow deaths this week…
O noes! That means u only has 1 life left. Whut we gonna do about that?
Everybuddy! Emergency meeting! Conference room 3A, rite now!
*hurriz tew teh confrens room adn settulz teh histaricul kittehs down*
Otae, peeps! ai sujjest wii awl cry owr liddle kitteh harts owt tew Ceiling Cat adn beg him tew let Cottleston Pie lib hiz last lyf owt tew teh fullest adn nawt get stuk in enny moar nasty meetingz! wut doo teh rest ov yu tink?
*rayzez foofy paw*
Eye sekkunz dat!
Ok. Motion has been maded and eeted and maded again and sekkonded.
Discussion?
I has a PowerPoint presentation wif elebenty-twelve slides here that will showl all sides of teh issue. Someone get teh lights plz? kthx.
*turns off teh lites*
*tripz ober chayr on teh way bak to tabel*
*kursez a bloo streek*
*sitz down & yawns*
*fallz azleepzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Drone drone drone it is whut it is blah blah blah thinking outside teh box blather blather blather shifting teh paradime yadda yadda yadda making teh pie higher…
Pie?
*perks up*
*opuns an eye*
Pie? Wut kinda pie?
did zauberflote mayk a choklit pie adn leeb it in tew refrigerater?
*goes tew teh kichin*
yez! yez tehre iz a choklit pie in tehre!
*cumz bak wif teh pie*
ebbrywun getz a jymormus peece!
Offishully waeks up fer teh jymormus peece ob choklit pie.
*Wiggulls wif a happee*
“Aks mii uh ridl N Ai repli…
Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie!”
Ax mii no kwestyunz, i’ll tell u no liez
You rang?
hay! tihs meeting iz foar yu! yu needz tew stae heer in teh meeting!
CP! U was sposed to beez heer when we started!
Now that CP’s heer and everyone’s hadz a snack and has a full tummy, we can start teh presentation over again from teh beginning.
Oh, and would sombuddy turn off teh air condishuner? It’s makin so much noises I can hardly heer mahself drone.
ZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz
tahtz nawt an aer cundishunur! taht b nightshayde!
O, ur rite. And jugding by teh size of teh drool puddle she’s been asleep for a while.
So Let’s start over again. First slide plz?
Ok, heer we see a list of elebenty reesons why kittehs shud not be subjected to boaring meetings. Let’s go thru them one by one…
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzZZZZZzzzzZZZZ
Ok, I gets it. Mabye now is a good time to take a dinner brake. My PowerPoint presentashun on fud options in teh area, let me show u it.
In teh first slide, we seez a list of teh elebenty fud groops. Let’s go thrugh them one by one…
*waeks up inna emty confurrense room*
*startz shaykin wiff panik*
Hey – where did ebberybuddy go? Why is teh tabel all wet? Ew! Itz on meh cheek!!! Gedditoff!!!!
*wimpurr*
Ennyone dere?
Halp?
Plz?
Srsly?
zzzZZZZmmmm…fudzzzZZZzzz
… and in this next slide we will go over all teh possible combinashuns of pizza toppings. First: cheez. Second: cheez and sausage. Thurd: chezz and shrooms. Forth: cheez and…
zzzZZZZmmm…pizzazzzZZZZZzzz
… and cheez and pepperomis and green lolives and blak lolives and onyns and sausage and green peppers and chikken and porks and anchovys and a fried egg.
And with that we will adjourn…
Rite after we go through teh history of cooked fud. Heer we see a timeline. It starts back in Elebenty B.c., when lolcavemen first discovered fire. Then…
huh? fyur? ware? FYUR! FYUR!!!!
EBBRYBUDDY KLEER TEH BILDING!
Gud thing I lockeded all teh doors while everybuddy was zzzzzzing.
*Wut?? Where?? Hoo??*
“Ohai, lcb”
Rubz sleep frum eyez..
Wut tyme izzit??
Yew cud maibe taik teh aberage ov teh 8 waches on yor arm?
My PowerPoint presentation on Timepieces thru Time, let me show u it.
In teh first slide we see a timeline, starting wif teh Big Bang and continuing on thru teh millenia to…
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *hopes teh alrm wakes me up an ai not drewl on mai arm laik sumwun ai herd about – who shall remain namless*
Ewwww!!! Teh Namless Drewl….
Sownds lyke a bad moovie!
ewwwwwwwww it shud be…………….. teh namless drewl slimed me!!!
starring
Drewl Brenner
an his saidkick Slobber
… in teh next slide we see a bulleted list of all teh bad movies ever maded. First…
Ali babbel an teh 40 fieves
Bye Bye Birdee……… wuz gud akshully, it’s jus teh kittlets dun want teh birdies tew go wai!!!
I fink the name wuz 10,000 BC… Teh 1 wif Ringo Starr az a caivman.
Hey LCB..? deed yur perjectur bork oar sumtink?
dat wuz juz gettinz intressin!!!1
eye liek teh owld baad moobeez – wif lawtz ov cheepniz az Frank Zappy wud cawl it!!
creechur frim the blik lagune
dr jekul n meestur hyd
eggztra tresstreel type moobeez wif ufowz awn string
forin moobeez wer awl teh men haz mustashiz
godzillur an moar grudzillur
H-man – dat reelee wuz cheepniz at itz cheepist!
I….. ( I kant fink ov N E moar ryt nao… )
Gibbocat, dew yew member Teh Tingler??? Tehy puttid vibraiter
fings unner teh seet and weh the creeture apeered.. teh seets “tingled!!”
Wheeeeeeeee…..
OMCC yu guize, dis be wun ob dah FUNNIEST freds eber!!!!!!!!!1! Elebenty gazillion cheezburgers for U!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Ai lolled n lolled n tehn wenna bed n hadded a berree gud sleeps!
*gentil snorey noizes*
*stretches owt teh liddle paws*
*kurls up*
*teh snorey noizes gets lowder*
sry to waiks yew, but cud ai has a littul snorgle!! yew luks sew cyooot snoozin der
herrrro??? yew awaik yets? ai rilly needs a snorgle an duzznt want teh pointy ens!!
Powerpoints is teh debil.
Teh . . . DEBIL!
cud beeeee worser. cud be teh dredded
the dredded
the dredded
VIEWFOILZ!!!! AARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
(Psst…CP is a “she”!)
otae…she, SHE libs her lyf tew teh fullest…
Po ol Cottleston Pie iz surly doomd . . . dat 9th lief mus bi passng B4 Ur Eez. Enyting DrTinyCat ken du fur halps
Hah! The joyz ub bein nawt-management, i haz dem. Mite haz to werk lik sleighve, butts ken prety-much saz anyting i wonts atta meeting. Went 2 one las week, hoo-boy. Dey say 2 us, “Yuz a corporation. Soul porpoise ub a corporation iz 2 provide money 4 dar shareholders (dem)” Woman 2 seats ober frum mii sat screamin (oh yes) back that teh whey thay ran teh plaice that there woodn’t b a “f#$@&n’ job in 10 years”… No 1 ina suit eben pretended 2 hear her. Same ol same ol, haz dem 1 oar 2 teims a year, neber 8 in a week, pleh
OMG i finally found a comment i can understand!!!!!! XDDDDDDDD
dunt (don’t) wurri (worry). yull (you’ll) lurn (lern) lolspeak soon enuff (enough)!
{{{{{{jessi}}}}}}
I’m board.
I’m relee relee board!
I’m teh Chairpurrson of deh board.
Ha! eyem teh KWeen ob teh board. iss chess a board!
i saw a girl that looked like that in my geography class today. she got that same it’s-friday-and-i-wanna-go-home look on her face.
“it’s-friday-and-i-wanna-go-home” look on teh face.
I haz it.
Let me show u it.
If yew prefurr, I can show u mah “I hab a heddayke & I doan wanna be at werk no moar todai” look insted.
*whimper*
Haow ‘bowt yeh Iz sew sik an haz to go hoam voyce??
*cof* *cof*
O hai, NS! did eye ebber tell yU how mush eye lubbs yer iron-knee? Hello (PoYsonus) kittey!
I has a pretty convincing “innerupt me an I’ll rip out yer spleen” look, wanna see?
it heps a lot if you make a fist wiff yer face.
Oooo, dat fase B needen sum clause!
the cat is looking at me hopelessly
Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.
Wayrz mah Crunchee Fudz? Can’tz U
heerz mah stummikk growl?
Summ Wun frowz a bawll
ubz paypurrz oars summfeeng. I
needz a disstrakkshun!
Sillee Hewminz tawllz
so mutch awwlz t3h tyme. Yet dayz
sez so dawrnz liddill
Prittee Wun will needz
ekkstra snuggils 2nyte. Itz
beez a lawwwwng hardz Day
Jack.
*clapz fuzzy pawz*
Bravo bravo Gud sho!
YAY, JACK!
My ‘x’ used to call this pose a ‘chin hang’! It is usually much cyooter looking than this, tho. usually a chin hang is on your arm. Much cyootness!
mgr: Wii wantz ur input.
.
*Kitteh providez inputz.
.
mgr: No. Dat iz not teh input wii wanted. Wii wantz ur input.
.
*Kitteh providez differnt inputz.
.
mgr: No. Dat iz teh rong input. Ur input shud lukking like dis.
.
Kitteh providez input to mgr shuz.
Funny how dat wurks. Bawss allus like teh inputs what they wanna hear.
Funnee haow dey can preeteynd tu lystin tu yu adn keap a strait fayce ayt teh sayme time!!
kontributing to dizkusshun: ur doin it rong.
Nex tyme ai wont eatz so much chikin before teh meeting.
Sumbody call the SPCA to send sumbody to shoot me now…
Yah, I know, but when they see whut I is dealing with in this meeting, they’ll confirm that it would NAWT be kruelty to do so!!!
I iz tryin 2 redd comnts – but lolcat iz hurtin mai haid. Dun get me ron, i luv lolcat, but lon comnt givz me a hedake. i iz so ashamez! some1 esperiensed in da LOLspeak shodd neva hert frum LOLspeak! *headdesk* mebbe iz to late… ya, das it… oh, hai, look at mai pontlez posts! wuz fun, tho.
Sry wii gibbing yew deh hedake. yew can be getting ice at teh ty boo teek.
Adn sum asperin, 2. Gibbocat keepingz it well stocked, adn teh door iz
awlwayz opun.
.
I not recognizing yer name. iz u gnu heer? if so, welcum abord.
If u not gnu, sry I not recognize u. Tehr b sew menny peepz heer iz hard 2 b keeping up wif awl uv dem.
.
Ezzer way, heerz a nice frosty beverage. Cheerz, & Cheez!!
An a parfait!
Ebberbuddy laiks dem parfayz!
I iz not gnu, jus hav nawt post in long taim. But mai hedake betr nao.
KT jus post, b on puter 2 late. th screenz r 2 brite at 1 in da mornin sometaims.
Sorree bout yur hed-aike; weez doan wanna sea yu suffer!
(But teh Cheez Frends haz iyt rite onna monee bout dose horribull, terribull, noe-gudd, veree badd meetyngs!!)
Newbee heer!! ^_^
ICHC is preety cool =)
Welcum DTCA!!! Heer, hab a liddle caturday afternoon martoonee. iz speshul wif deh extry chokklit and teh liddle umber ella. u can b sitting in deh sun by deh pool ober heer adn enjoying ur drinksee. Adn dehre b a big umber ella, 2, in case teh sun gettingz 2 hot.
Bored to death by sloe puter
no no no wait;
Sloe to death by boring puter
bettah (:
tihs rezzembelz me at wun uv too meetingses in mai wurkin passed:
1. annyual reviewz uf proceedyurs for deelin wit hazardus chemmikals. mai bawss sayd we cud skip it iffn ennywum cud repeet all info by hart.
2. 8 am “teamwerk” meetin mandatorrie attendantse fur nite shift, hoo normallie got off werk at midnite. we wuz all lookin lyk kitteh, and not at all happie to be their doin tuchhy feelie stoopy exxercizes !
Annuddur case of needs to apply Donkee Philossophee.
If , ahem, *I* wur in charge, and I needed too address mah nite shift, I wud address dem on DERE time an NOT mine! LIke, mebbeh beginnin ub shift so dey
can all applies it? All dose peepuls got too cum in at 8am cuz ub me? Whai not ME goes too DEM?
*sigh*
Selfish biddness wurld, let mee growtch abowt it.
dis wuz whut nite shift said but said into huge vacuum and all we herd back wuz echo…
Ai haz sat thru Elebenty sevintey sevin boaryng meatyngs iyn mai dai, adn alwaise hayted teh BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
Meatyng Ai remebure moast wuz teh wun wher teh topik wuz:
“Wher duz yu wanna be iyn 5 years; wut’s your aubjektive???”
(Aul Ai cud finK ov wuz: OUTA HEAR!; OUTA HEAR!; OUTA HEAR!!!!!!!)
Oh Iz so agreee! Alzo, meetings dat start at 11 & not obber by 1PM, and all the sandwich shopps will soon B clozing & I am hungree!
Used to play meeting bingo (25 squarez of common, stuupid meetin frases, like “it’s a win win situashun”, or “letz prioritize dis”)
naow Bcause I werk at home, I can kontribute 2 Icanhascheezburger while on confrence kall. (Jes hav 2 keep MUTE button on so dey dont here me laff – ROFLMAO)
Happee Caturday!!!!! No more confrense kallz until Mondai!
bordum…it haz mee. ai am lyk teh kitteh. bored…bored…bored…bored…bored…bored…bored…bored…bored…bored…
Must – keep eyes open… boss-man says ‘portant… must – keep – eyes… OPEN! *bites self* OW!
Okie-dokie boss-man, ah iz dun. Luvs ya but AH QUIT!
kin enniwun tell me hao deh wurld igzisted b4 ichc? mustov bin veree boareeng
eye luv woching u gize an’ hao u lub eechudder an’ r sew sweet tu eechudder.
(sets out long an’ tasty nom buffet wut iz free 4 all duh cheezpeeps…)
Teh whirllld b4 ICHC wuz kinda like teh meeting dis kitteh b at. Eggsept it
wuz more boringz.
.
Oh boi, buffet!!!! fankz lc79!!!!
.
I’ll b habbing deh salad adn deh lasangna adn teh fishletz adn deh potaterz
adn deh hamz adn deh yamz adn deh wadermelenz adn teh green beenz
adn deh macncheez adn deh soupz adn deh corm adn deh biskitz adn deh
roast beest wif graby adn teh tuna adn sum cookiez adn cake adn piez adn
deh iiz creme wif chokklit sirup.
.
ok, I full now. Nap timez. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
im sew happee dat ewe injoied de tasty noms. i also had sum uv ebberting
and i may be full fur daiz. all hale cween….
Honestly, this is how I feel after a lot of meetings – most of which are classified. You’d think the classified ones would be more interesting, but they’re not.