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The Lady of Broccolishireham
*burp* Whut dog?
GMTA!
…and Gud Mornin To Alls.
Get Mah Trankwilizerdartgun Again!
that’s Trankdartgun on dah street.
It b a 4way tie up!!! I will going 2 deh ty booteek and getting deh rope.
*ties up lcb, maus, CH & tribble.
*snikker*
Hab a nise day!!!!!
did u ty them up with teh macramay??
ai see this is gonna werk out nisely!
yes, I b using teh berry, berry complicated macramey knotz.
And I can has berry, berry sharp maus toofies.
*gu-naw*
*gu-naw*
*gu-naw*
cweenmj, duz u haz enny rubber coted reeinforsed steel cabul in the ty booteek, by enny chanse??
Gibbocat sez it stokked wif wutebber wii wanting…..
*runz to tybooteek,
*getz deh rubber coted reinforsed steel cabulz.
*runz back & duz moar fansee makramaze b4
*dey escapadez.
Um, cween? I has to pee. Lemme out!
Don’t make me use my trankwilizer frying pan on u. *narrows eyes menace-like*
Ken u say deh majic werd?
Peese?
*snerk*
@@@@!!ROFL!! (oops nau I haz peese *snrk..runz lik hell*)
urine fur it nao….
Uh ohs. I is number 1 on her list nao…
depends….
*Unties maus. Cuz he asked sew niselee.
*adn cuz hez mai hero.
.
LCB, yer menas iiz duzn’t skeer mee.
.
*Takez away fry pan adn tran kwill izer gun.
Fanks MJ. I has to go down to Teh Lab. Wun ov mai ‘puters can has a “fatal system error”. I needs to go adminis… admunis… gives it ‘puter CPR…
Ackshually, now they is not menace eyes, they is skwinched tite to halp … hold… in…
But beez teh careful wif that trankygun. U has it pointed at urself at teh moment and u forgetted to take away mah…
REMOTE CONTROL DEVICE!
*thwock!*
Nite-nite, cween!
O wait. NOW who’s gonna untie me?
Um, cweenmj, maibeh u has knot noticing, but LCB is gawn. Nuffin der but deh rubber coted reinforsed steel cabulz…
doan luk at me! I’z too bizee Jerome-Robbins dansin furder doan teh tred to hep – yu’ll jes hafta wate a bit. Wuld yoo liek an glas water?
*smilez az she dreemz uv kittehz adn
*bunniez awl playing 2gevver
*in deh sunshinez wif deh poooffee cloudz
*oberhed.
pooey. ai wanted to go OT and ask LCB hao wuz her kitteh aftur the vet visit yesturdai. hard to keep hur pinned daon!
LCB… if u r owt ther hyding… hao is yr kitteh? U can just cawl it owt frum yr hyding plais…
wow. nebber mind.. alreddy got ansur. it took wordlesspress so long to hark this up ai thot it was eeted. dat WLP hungree todai!!
are u feelin ok cweenmj? u dont see enny stars or burdies do u??
We had a goggie but we eated him.
@@@@@
kan sumwun pass teh hawt choklit? goggie sammich stuk in mai throt
OMG!!1!!
What kind of cat is the one at the far right?! It is BEAUTIFUL! I want one! Someone please let me know what breed that is!
kthxbai
The cat on the far right is a tortishell. Any breed can be that color.
You had a dog, but we eated him…
Win!
We haz done in da doggie.
Nebber mind goggie, wii attak kittehz!
iz kitteh speek for yada yada yada?
No is backward speek 4 kittehs wif colds who need assistance:
HALB HALB HALB!
oynu, oynu, oynu
eezy fur u to sai…..
Oynu? Sownds yiddish.
Ai laik diz – berry Clebber! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Dawg called in sick todays. We is fillin in 4 hims.
it takez 4 kittehs to replais one goggie?
Ai think they needz to consult wif the bored uf labur.
luks like they R the bored uf labur, ackshully
Union rools, ma’am. Take it up wif teh shop stooward.
ai wud but hez on a brake
looks mar laik dey is bored OF labour
I mint “bored WIF labour”. Doh! *slaps self on dah 4hed*
Tehy wer bored wiv teh labradour.
LOL
One goggie does moar laybr tan for kittehs.
Goggie WANTS to make hoomans happi.
Kittehs wants hoomans to make THEM happi.
Goggies work. Hoomans work. Kittehs sleep.
I tink I want 2 com back as a kitteh next time round.
i agree doggies want to mke us happy they come when called and kittehs take a message and get back to you later
@@@@@@@@@@
“SERVIZ UNVAYLIBUL” even for teh POST burgers!?
(note timestamp… running latest Firefox, WinXP, good solid PC, etc.)
whoa, FIXTED ALREDY! (again, note timestamp)
I think this happens when they post a new pic.
Um, not that I have any ‘sperience watching that process or anything…
OMG LCB! teh ICHC has u! qwik, TAP UR SCREEN!!
Wait, whut?
ya, dat wuz kinda mai reyakshin too.
Whut was that sekkond thing u sed?
um… [thinks hard]
…”Da Da” ?
Quick. I like a quick New York girl.
sumhao i doan tink weer reedin frum teh saem skript todai. heer, has sum kiwi.
Wait, u meen we’re not doin “Jason and teh Amazin’ Technicolor Argonauts today?
pfft… i bleev it sez “Amazin Teknikevlar Wunderpantz.” eezee mistaek to mayk. [ahem]
lcb. *sniff* wai did yoo shootz mee??? ai ar so innocent.
Oh, J4K, it was a accident. I was aiming 4 Teho and teh trankwilizer dart rickoshayed off hims Kevlar underoos and hitted u. I sry.
U were only out 4 a few minnits. And u seem fine now. Well, u’r drooling a little out of one side of ur mouf.
And I promise, we wasn’t going to drawr on ur face wif majic markers or anything.
*Hides majic markers behind back*
*wypes lipz wif Maus’s hankee*
Ummm – lbc – wai ar awl thoze peeple luking at mee laik that? Ai think – ai think tehy ar traing hard nawt to lafff. Yesh (ai cain’t tawk rite!!) – tehy ar SMERKIN!!!
I vote foar yu, JCH4K! Yur con genie al ity is moast powerful grate!
Wait! Yu got a little sumthing rite ther
*licks thumb and aims at JCH4K’s foarhed*
oooohh! Thankz LyP. Wifawt a mirror – ai cant see mai fayce!!
an ai just NOE taht rascallee lcb did sumthing. Her kyoot aiez were sparkling waaaay too mcuh!
O, J4K, they is just smiling because they lubs u so much and is glad that u is teh ok.
U has left a indelible mark on our hartz.
*dab dab dab at teereee aies*
{{{{{lolcatburglar}}}}}}}}
yes, eben teh lurkers n teh sumtimz nawt lurkers (like me) haz speshul place in hartz fur JCH4K
Aw, datz sweet! We awl lubs teh JCH4K. I nom-nom-nominayted her fur teh award: eeder Sweethart uv ICHC or Miss Congyeenyality!
(We luvz lawts uv udder cheez-frenz too!)
See? Everybuddy lubs u. It’s as plane as teh graffeetys on ur face.
Whoops!
*runsawayfast*
Agree wif dat holehartedlee!!! I doan com heer AWL dat offen, but wun tiem my hed splorted an JCH4K STILL run liek teh wind tu prov…pruvi…get me help wif dat cleenup!! Tanks,JCH4K!
We luv yoo JCH4K, oh yesh wii doooo
We luv yoo JCH4K, an wil b troo
Win yur nawt neer us, weer bloo
Ohai JCH4k, we lub yoo!!
*shakes pom poms fyureuslee*
mint tu voat foar yu heer
Can I voat agin? I hab at leest three moar paws…
*luks imploringly and bats Ilashes*
But yoo know taht ai reelee harts yoo too, rite?
whut – evah!
It’s nice that teh peepls putted teh sine way down low so that teh kittehs and skwerls and other critters can reeds it.
I agree! Onlee fayr to maek gud enuf worning tu da wuns hu needz it moast!
Wile da goggiez awai, da kittehs dey plae!!! (An sqwerels, an chipmonks, an meeses, an awl teh oddur liddel guise!!)
um.
teh skwirrills, and teh chipmonks, and teh meeses, they were here… but the kittehs, well, they eeted them.
Is bit liek road-name sains in little Ingerland. Tehy puts them nee hai.
Yeh whutevrz. We ownz teh place kthx.
Liddill Kittehz no
askeerd ubz Doggeh. Himz amz
Insyde… Dey arz Owt.
Toartee Kittehz stanz
gardz wylez Ornjj andz Tucksee
sleepz. Iz gud arraynjment
Poarch iz t3h besstest
playss 4 Kitteh Napz. Lawtz ubz
wawrmz dirrekkt Sun Lyte
Liddill Kittehz nawtz
mooveeng sune. Unless Prittee
Wun showz upz wiff fud
Jack.
ur poem iz beauteous. iz wishin fur a sunny poarch 2day
@@@@@@@@……
eleventy-seven burgers 4 jack
plus elebenty one!
Gud tu see yur poetry again, Jack!
We’re done playing with the dog, now. We want to play with you…
Dog? Whut dog? Wii aint afeered uf no dog.
.
.
.
Side story: When my kitty & I moved into 1st DH’s house, his weenie dog wanted to be friends with the cat. The cat wanted nothing to do with the dog, so she hissed and growled. Dumb ole dog didn’t get it, so she kept harassing the cat.
Finally, one day the cat got tired of the dog irritating her and smacked her right on the nose (no claws on kitty). The dog yelped like she’d been shot.
Kitty ruled the house from then on!
Sine shud sai “Beware, Dog!”
yes, JAJEH, propurrly placed commas makez a whirled of difference.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Used ta be a campaign to promote reading. It had slogan” “Send me a man who reads!”
Young lady changed it tu “Send me a man! Who reads?”
What about the single woman’s Bible verses?
There’s “I would not have you, ignorant brethren.”
Or, for the more openminded, there is “If any man would come after me, let him.”
Der waz a MP hu waz ordurred to pollygeyes to a colliege fur callin him a liar. He wrote “Ai have called XXXX a liar it is true and I am sorry for it” and sed the udder guy cud put in hiz own punkshuashun.
Goggie fergottid his CHRG, and splorted into seberal pieces dat turnded into wut u sees heer. Dis hao splortie kittehs reproduce in teh wild.
Hay, can someone show this to Kafleen when she comes by? I don’t have a specific link yet, but it’s the featured pic of the day today, April 9:
http://www.engrish.com/
Ohh, lcb, taht’s SOOO trew! Seh brings mee MUSH happi wif joi!
Ware ebbreewun finez awl dese wunnerful funz? ai noze at leest 2 peepz hoo wil leik dis wen Ai hab tiem tu rite dem.
This was sended to me (and a buncha other peeps on a mailing group) by the daddy of the boi whose back and bum are in teh pic. (Covered!)
But when I seed it, I thought rite away of our favrite donkee here on ICHC.
Wayt. wut favrite donkee?
KAFLEEN!
Wow, you guys. I stared and stared and showed mom and she stood and
looked and laffed. I am so touched.
Thank you, LCB!!!
LyP, I saw your blog on time before….I love the valentines day thing!
“The recent violent gang wars have moved to Smith Street. The neighborhood that used to be run by the Dog Gang has now been overthrown and is now being run by the Cat Gang. Some of the most dangerous members of the Cat Gang are shown in this picture, which was taken by an undercover officer.”
When yor a Jet, yor a Jet awl teh way!
Frum yor furst ciggyrette to yor last dying day!
*starts dancin aggressivlee awn teh street*
GREMLIN! GET OUTTA TEH STREET! Wait until teh light changes from “No Dancing” to “Dancing”
Honestly.
jee, osifur krupkee — KRUP U
just keep it kewl boi… reel kewl….
I feel pretty, oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and gay!
And I pity any girl who isn’t me today!
Fanx, PB2K, 4 sharing tohse wunderfulz, upbeet lynez frum WSS. Ai lurvz so menee ob teh sawngs init, “Maria,” “Somewhere,” sins tehy tutsh awl ob us in sweet n tender waaz.
Fank u, 2, Leonard B.
eggsactlee, Feelionophiliac! Fanks muchlee 2 Leonard B. An alzo tu Mr. Sondheim, hoo wroteded teh grate words.
.
gud moosik, wii lubs it!
Anom tew dat! Ai lubs lawts ob Bernstein stuf—ennybuddy liek teh Chichester Psalms? Dat’s sum kool mewsik!
Oooh – we sang teh Chichester Psalms wen ai wuz in collij!!! Bery kewl musik.
Alto. I iz one, too.
teh othr niet i tripd a nyse conty-nentul driff divyde
mowntins strayt in a lien
LEN! NERD! BERN! STYNE!
(is teh end of teh wurld as we noes it, an i feels fien)
REM FTW
Wehn yur a Jet if teh if teh spit hitz teh fan
Yuve got kittehz arownd yur a famblee man
*joynz gremlin in teh danzing, wif fingger snapz*
i liek tu be in Amarica
ok wif me in Amarica
Ebbrefing free in Amarica….
SPESHULLY front porchus foar all creechurs big an smawl…moastly kittehs!!!!
Hao duz yoo do teh finger snapz?
*luks at pawz, wishes fur fingers an opposabul thumz; keeps dantzin!*
I wuz tinking teh saem thing, gremlin! Mebbeh Pwnd havs extra fingurs?
Heer comz Ertha Kitteh, reddi tu dantz Amarica!
*step bawl change rite, step bawl change left
biiiig HIYA kick tu teh skye
shimmie shimmie, shaek shaek
flip teh skirt, flip teh skirt
Aaaaaaan big leep awf stage rite*
*pant pant*
*swet swet*
*colaps*
Bravo! Bravo!
*sownd uv sawft pawz klappin*
Er, that shud be Brava! Brava! (fur a gurl), rite?
*Sound uv floofy pawz clapping.
*Handz out refreshing libashunz to awl deh danserz.
Oooo tank yu awl foar floofy claps an bravas (I tink ur rite, dats foar gurls!) an refreshing libashunz! Iz awl so wunderfull!
*grinz frum eer tu eer*
I luv dis ICHC payge…moar dansers an singers an snorgles than anyware else on interwebs!!
nuffink so speshul. I jes maeks mai hoomin snap fer me. Gots to put her to yuse sumhao, beyund teh providinks ov teh gushifuds.
Ooooh ur smart! alwayz gud tu yoo…uti….yutily….maek ur hoomin wurk wenever yu can!
Dere iys rlly noe Wautch Goggie!!!
(Kittehs put sine up tu keap owt introodurs adn ennybuddy eylse hu wud bawther them adn dysterb dere nappeetyme.)
Sine wil be remooved roun Supper Tymeses, oar wenebber awl teh kittehs hav woked up, wichebber cums furst.
ooo, little torties…deploy CHRG
STAT!
Hey!! U wit teh cammera – we iz sweeping herez..go way!!
on ANOTHER unrelated note:
http://nfccomic.com/index.php?comic=223
i has a sad.
and also a snicker. 
tath skinnee doktor ibs a doktroll!
I thot, a sad AND a snicker???
So I looked…
exactlee rite.
fr me, persun-ally-teez jus arnt intristing until dey gets awl complee-kaytid an comflikt-riddin. comic stripz is saem wai.
id beware ob tortyz moar dan ob dog, jus sayen…
I has a tortie kitteh who has fierce torti-tude, I agrees with trtskh!
Wut? OHai! yez, ai am a goggie! *ahem* Bark Bark. lol!
WE ATED IT!!!
RRRRiiiiittteeee. Bwar mai…….
2 uv dem kittehs are TORTOISE shellz. Deh are eval 2 da 1hundrf pwr…
deh da onz dat GAV birf to
BASEMENT CAT.
2 ov mai overlrdz iz Tortiez. Deh tak noes sheet. I noe givz deh no taks.
deh iz naut afreid of da dawg…
Noe 1nz afreid of dawg.
Teho noes dis 2….seez Teh Peep inceednt.
TORTEEEEZZZZ!!!!
kittehs has nootralized da threat…is all clear now! no need tah tank us…