shower, water, naked man.
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Naked man? I’m on it!
happi nawt seccund! Himz legz bee too skinneh 4 mee!
LOL!! YAY LCB!! Fur yur nawt-sekkund!! gud wun!
Whut drinkiez/dansin…. Dansin inna dark, ennywun? (well, nawt wif me! Wif teh nekkid gai!)
HAE! Leeb teh nekkid guy in teh nawty barn!
nekkid guy lerns multi-taskin
hii kan danse and irin at teh saym tiem in teh nawty barn and still tayk a shwr!
Ai howp himz taykin a showr duzzent watr daown teh martooneez…
Yikes! Hope hez nawt irnin nd taykin teh shwr at teh same thyme. Nawt Nuf nekkid guise arown, speshulee nawt yung wuns, wudnt want himz gettin electromocuted.
hii yooses teh old fashuneded irn dat yu haz tew heet awn teh stov
ai helpz yoo!! =]
ai also dantses foar j00 if you liekz.
is dat stil wat we dos foar a nawt sekund?
ben a whil sinse ai postd
Ifn ai mite maek a sugesshun, howz abowt teh ‘Singin in teh Rayne’ tappity danse?
‘
Joo gawt a fedoorah adn a b’brella?
oh noes! I kant bee singnz dat sawng!?
j00 no haz seed A Klokwerk Orunj?!?!?!
Rite rite rite mai littel droogiez, yez indeedz ai haz… but nawt fur menny yrs.
It nebber on teh idjit bawks. Ai haz teh book, tho… Ai wud lyke 2 see teh moogie agen, tho… Kubrick iz wunnerful.
.
Ai wuz jus’ reefurring 2 teh Jeen Kellee moogie.
Hai lolcatburglar!!! Ai’m shur yoo did nawt see teh spektacular return ov our owen deer an daring Princess Mu.
It’s awn Thursday’s “geico collections agent.” And she brawt yoo a beyootifull prezzint!!!
An ebbreewun else shud go luk, too!! We dont hav entrances leik that wun verree offen!!!
look at the frown on this poor guys face !! 80
…and enclosed space+bare skin+water+CAT >^oo^<=
OUCH!!!
HALP! DEY PUTEDED MEE IN A PYCHO SCEEN!
@@@
@@@
(eye hopes use knot a-skart ob blud—iz onlee Catsoup, ennyway, knot reel!)
Akshully, in ‘Psyco’ tehy uzded chawklit sirop fore teh blud, nawt catsoup..
Budt in rl liyf, catsoup werkz gud like teh sayme. chawklit seeropez em toooo brouwn for nawt blcknwite flmz.
Troo taht, but moogie speshul’fex blud iz uzhullee glycerine-based tehse daiz, ai fink.
On stage (in amature feater at least where we can’t afford the real fake blud (?)) we mixt catsup wiff some corn syrup for texchure and stickiness and we also added some cocoa powder fer darkening cause ketchup to brilliantly red.
Ai haz dun teh feater maisef, butt we nebber hadz a sho wif blud (mores teh pitee).
ai figyurs teh strumberri jellyjam wud werk purty well foar fayk blud. it mae bee tew brite, tho
nop-
jellijam nawt sos gret- iz two fik- wont mak nic drizzli efect. cat up s’okbutz itz stainz da castums……
iz didum plai wif gazillionz ub bukkets ub blud. Az I recall…. weiz had a”blud powedr” dat u mixed wif milk ( iz ficker den wader) wuz phun two mak- oh hai- whuts u dooin? “makn blud……” almos az gud az stuffn da rubba chickn wif sawdust….. fru da bottum wif a fun-l…..
bakstag tecki, i wuz wun…….
momcat
Momcat!!! why didn’t you ever tell mee. You are one of MEEEE!!!
Or did you menshun it an ai just dint see it??
I leik to gather mai theatre peepl and mai opera peepl into groops – so ai know hoo ai can reelee talk to about what!!1
{{{{{momcat}}}}}}}
an woozled – yoo too???? What did yoo doo??
an SolnEsther – wai duz taht nawt surprize me at awl. An – pleez – what did YOO doo???
Bestest staj blud ever – iz maed frum woolite, choklit syrup, littel food color (ren and tibybit bloo)
Sinse it iz woolite az long az yoo dont letit get dry, it washes owt!
yup…… i iz wuz a bakstag peeps. Ai spelizied in props- I maded “stafz ub offic” fur a shaekesphere plai, a tomi gun fur anyfing goes ( dat set wuz blac, red, whit, gold- no udder colour alloweded- wuz nawt az bad az da tyme da sam sett desina maded set awl light blu wif sparkli powder- eberfing hadz too be blu…..) I lubed mai joob, I awlso stage han- gotz ta wiggl da set in Blithe Spirt- dat phun!
bac stag! U gotz da POWA! Ifnz n actr beez two meeni uz kin putz owt da wrung props n dribs dem frantic!
I kin mak lif wurs fur u- I iz awlso operma peep. Grewz up watchn Operma in Portland mani yers.- I members wun stage dat wuz n angld cantalever- qwit fun watchn actors nawt slide off…..
I awlso didz propz fur madama buttafli- wud sing da “hummin chorus wif da singerz”- yeah, Iz altamo singa two……
featha nerdz i iz wun. tryn ta get fishykitteh intermested, shez gud soaprano n kin actz beri well ( I getz ta see it ebery day!)
momcat
catsoups em tooo zimpul fur peeplez deese Caturdaiz.
That’s right! It was Bosco chocolate syrup.
ummm, eye nose dis; it wuz ‘post 2 B a yolk.
Depends upon nakd man. ;P
>^..^<
’s cool, nakd man gibs martinoones an irons clothes 4 yoo after shower, Chessie.
Aint DAT teh trooF!!!
Dat’ll work.
that should have been a >:)
yu sez teh smylee devil bai : twisted :
I’se finking about de nekked man ironing inna teh shower (nawt a life extending strategy) and recalling a birfday card I got fum Esther when I turned forty. I sed “So yer 40 and have hardly any wrinkles” and on de inside it sed “Except in one spot, and I can make them go away”
OOOOEERRRR!!! Heehee!!
Iz in feline Hades! Halp me, Ceeling Cat!
Ceiling Cat saves!
Too wish mah Joosh hubby says, “Mosess inbests…”
Yuk, yuk, yuk! I haddto fink bout dat 4 a minute :CHEEZ-US sabes! MOSES inbests!
Chew-us hubby is funny (an has gud leggs, eye preesume)!!!
Oh, jess, hee duz! Still. Aftr 31 yeers ob marridge! A fren ob owrs hoo still misses herz huzbin affer 6 yeers ob widdo-ness sez, “Fank CC for EBBRY DAY yoo has togedder.” An ai doo.
Iz troo. Mai boycheezfrend em in de Aiyr Fowrce, n himz in Mizzizzipee. An Ai misssssss him sooooooo mush. Yoo em berry lux-ee to be still luv luvz for so many yeers, n dat yoo seez eetch uddr. It em berry hrd 2 bee apurt, Ai feeel fur yowr fren a lil der.
but nawt acute angina.
*heddesk*
GUISE GUISE GUISE GUISE GUISE GUISE!!!!!!!
Guess whut!?!?!
Ai has 2 noo kittahs! Them names are Fred & George an’ Ai lubs dem!
MMMMMM KITTAHS
awww, cumgrashumashums! hoep Fred and Georger libs a laeg tiem under yur lub! menny smooches frum teh cheezfrendz! <3
yay!
Wh00t! Wh00t!
New kittez am teh bestest!!!
Ai hab a happytayl fer yew
To kwote owr Salleh; Aint taht grand!
congratulations! im happitail fur U!
fred n george r grate names. Ginger, perhaps?
Ai had Freddi pikked aowt afore Ai had settuld awn “Fred & George.” (But yesh, Ai deed nayme dem aftar teh redhedded twinses.)
Ai bolunteers at teh Nebada Es-Pee-Cee-Ay. Ai moastly goes tu sits wif teh kittahs an’ lubs awn dem. Furst dai Ai wuz dere, a hansum blak n whyte kittah wif payle green eyez an’ pale peenk naz cayme up tu meeh an’ miaou’d lyke an owld man. Soes Ai pikked him ups, an’ him said: “OMG AI LUBS U! UR FASHE, IT NEEDS MAH KISSES!!!!” Ai lerned him storee: him were dropd awf at teh Es-Pee-Cee-Ay wif awful assid burns awn him bak. So dey naymed him Freddy Krueger. Him are awl heeled up and beautimous nao. So Ai told mah momma abowt him. An’ aftar a few weaks ob bolunteering wif da kittahs an’ tawking abowt Freddi aftarwurds, mah momma sed: “U needs 2 gets him ryte nao, afore sumwun els duz!”
Soes Ai tuk mah momma 2 teh Es-Pee-Cee-Ay wif meeh 2 fynd a sootabul bruvver fur Freddi. She espied George (whoze shelter name were “Ronnie”) an’ fot him wuz beautimous. Him are a brown ticked tabby wif sum stripes awn him legses an’ tayl. Teh Es-Pee-Cee-Ay ppl sed him were noo, an’ nooly neuticaled, but wud be a nyce bruvver fur Freddi.
Dem are bof abowt 2 yeers old, an’ still has sum kittun in dem. Dey run arownd teh haus, chaysing eech uvver an’ playing grab-azz. Ai saw Freddi gibing Georgi sum kisses dis morning.
I CAN HAS KITTAHS NAO!!!!
OOOOOooooo, eye is SO HAPPY 4 yoo!!!!
*sharon da joi, w00pty, w00t, w00!*
fanks 4 sharon teh wunnerful storee wiff us!!!
Thank u fur ur beautiful story bout ur beautiful kittehs. i can reely see them racing round 2geddar. happy home, happy catz!
Oh TC an AC!!!!
ai am so happee fur yoo!!! At last!!! An such nice, nice kittehs. An awnlee 2!!! Prakticallee kittenz. Menee yeers ov kittehliek behavior to be detekted!!!
{{{{{{TC&AC}}}}}} *sigh* Ai ar happee now too. It musst bee contagious!
Eye wuz een teh petshawp 4 2 bai sum nip 4 mai kittehs diz weak. And der wuz aye laydee tawkin 2 teh ’sisstunt hoo had teh ikkul bebbeh kitteh klazpt 2 hur busumz gowin awl gusshy and cooey. An eye sez whut a kyoot bebbeh. An promptlee teh laydee dipz eentu hur bag an bryngz owt anudder bundul ov kyootniz!! Bowf bebbehs am ownlee 5 weaks ole an eye’m cloze 2 splortinz ryte der een teh shawp!!
Mush ‘WANT’ goin on!!
gud to see ya bak, gibbocat.
Yes! I wunndurred ware u wented! Happee too see u!
Ai wud hab splorted awl ober teh shop!!
Laydee inna car nex tew shop an V.E.T yissterday-bebbeh kitteh awl cozied
up awn her ample buzzum.Teh sweet liddle fing .Awwwwwww.
Lubbly tew hab yew bak gibbocat.
Fankyew 4 teh welkum hoem
eye prezoom mary O’ haz bin lukkin aphtur the tybooteek 4 yewz awl
Hugz 2 awl an ebbereebuddee!! {{{*}}}
Oh, hai, Gibbo!!! Itz so gud to see u heer. We hab been missing
u. U may need 2 b restocking teh tybooteek. It haz ben bery
bizzy. Der iz a computer in deh bak rum dat eeted me, but
maus saveded mee. U can reeding about it on
I know what B.A.T.H spellz.
Meny joyusness!
Haow rlly grate tu getz Freddi, hu had suches a sad past; naow hims haz teh
reyst ov hiz lyfe tu rekuperayte wif snorgles adn huge amownt ov luuv.
Awlso wunnerfull fur Freddi tu haz suches gud bruvver liek George.
Naow thems kan bof haz alwaise happytayle daes wif der fambley.
Cool! I still finkin bout gettin kitteh.
den i can haz dr tinycat?
Deer,Deer MaryO’,
How ai whish yew hadz a Kitteh fer yaw verree own sef.
Ferny an Hazel am sendin yew tehyr biigest an mewsicalist purrs an singins.
Hedbonks an snorguls an paddlins awn teh skwishee bits an shmoos awn yaw cheeks.
Yew kin borree dem N E tyme yew lykez -dems full ob lubbins.
WHAT?!?!?
Maryo duzn hab a kitteh ob hers bery oan? Ai r shokked n saddnd.
Gud fing U can getting alll teh snorgles n kisses n lub U needs on ICHC, Mary.
{{{{{{{MaryO}}}}}}}}
aw, yew guys…fanks. yew warmz my hart. ♥
jest imaginin’ teh mewsicalist purrs, hedbonkz n snorgulz &kissez britenz my dae.
my kitteh ob 20 yrs disappeared about a year ago & i haznt gotted a new kitteh yet fur a baryetee ob raisins (inkluding, but nawt limuted to, teh allergeez ob my huzbin) .
Iz reezun CC inbent annahissmenz.
wee be tawkin sirius prbs. eben shotz nawt totallee effektib. i
Ai wud mite haf git rid ub huzbum if cud nawt hab kittehz.
We haf tu hab sum pryoteez. Akshul, ai kepez ole man tu. He nawt
tu bad. Sumtiemz hab tu sakurfise
I unnerstans purrrfektly Sweepea. Esther is also alergics and as such we are still between kittehs. We had a wunnerful parakeet named Judson who expired in Feb He talked many tings and knew our names and was the boss and we miss him acause now we gots nobody but each udder (which aint so bad but company is always nyce). I gots to visit fer while today wid a qat from the local Nursery but we were just casual awkwaintz so der were no snorgles.
{{{{{{{{{sweetmahweeopea}}}}}}
haz yur hubby been tested fur allergees to bunbuns? Dey makes grate pets, an can uze litterbox an not-smellee! Yoo has to cover up de wires an cords cuz dey will choo dem, but dey iz good fuzzys. Go to http://www.rabbit.com an reed abowt dem to see if mebbe dis for yoo.
I has a bunbun naemd Pepper.
Then yoo wud haz to be MaryOCanHasDrTinyCat!!!!!
We mite has to have a drawing. Sumwun else a bit bak (ai think bai teh BOOM incident awlreddee said she/he wanted him.
joint custodee, mebbee?
LOL!!! Oar may bee a teim share???
In taht cayse, can Ai buk 2 weeks in Orgust?
Tiny, I am SO happitail fur yu!!! I no how hard it was when yu lost teh Angel Catburger…..blessings tu yur new bebbehs!!! w00t!!!
YIPPEE!!! 4 yoo! eye kin verchooly C dem! Dey is so sweet!!!
Conga rat shoelaces on Dread adn Forge!! Can haz martooniezez to sell teh brate!
.
Plz gibs tehm a snorgle for meh.
Yayayay, TC (and AC, always in our thoughts)!
Glad to hear that Fred & George have forever homes now. I know you’ll give ‘em hugs and luvs and snorgles and all that.
BTW, I think my girlfriend’s tuxedo kittehs have gotten used to me – the bigger one, Fitz, rolled over on his back to let me rub his belleh and started grabbing at my hands with his front paws and givin’ me ‘love bites’ (still hurt, tho)….
Mazel tov, TC&AC.
ai supekts that is a gurl in da sowe.
Naw, teh leggs bee 2 harry.
Cud be ‘granola gurrl’
(no off fence tu enny heer… truly!!)
Ai volumteer to taek kitteh’s playse in teh showr wit teh nekkid gy, eben if he has got skinny legs!
Dats the saddest little kitteh I ever seen!
Dat poor kitteh lookit hims fayse.
yapperz…dat iz teh saddis face I haf ebbur seen onna kitteh!
Yah, iz a rlly sad fayse; pore lil guye;
mebbee sumwun kan sneekx up adn oapen showur doar kwik tu liberayte kitteh adn tehn run awaiyse rlly fas, befoar owner of leyggs givs chayse.
Dude bettah bees carful or he finds claws in hims junk.
O hai Dave. THREE tiems, yesterday – ai traied to put up teh cheezfrenz link – an WP eated it.
Ai just did it again – still nothing. Ai’ll trai wunz moar – leaving it wif the htttp thing. It will certainlee taek longer – but it mite work. I don’t know wai it’s nawt werking now. Awlwaiz did befoar.
Otterwise – I cud get D Marie’s blot site – it’s awn there too.
Ooh, Ai jus put it up awn anodder payj fore SolnEsther – Ai go get it…..
Heer it is:
groups.yahoo.com/group/cheezfrenz
Just add h t t p : / / in frunt, but taek owt awl teh spayses
oh yes!
I dint see it onna udder page, fanks fer puttin it back up here. But I kaint hep but wunner why you’d want me in the cheezfrens wid yawl when I’se only been a contributin lolcat for a coupla weeks. You prolly hasn’t even googled me yet to see if Ise a predator. Fer that matter, I’ve never googled solnesther either I hope I’se nawt ruining the rep of anyone fer real.
Ai just googled yoo – an ai can tell yoo taht yoo ar using teh “hotdog” site too!!!
Teh THINGS wun can lern using teh google!!!!
sum peepul u can juss tell fastur dat dey is good peepul.
Ebbun if dey hit a raw nerb.
I like teh googies an teh kittehs but so far I hasta admit that the kitteh peeps are mush moar funner. I like the Lolcats cause theys gud peeps an are inclined to oberlook sum ob my shortcomings. I often let muh kwik wit git out in front of muh taste or judgement and I blurt stuff thass unfortunate jest to git a larf. Bean a quik draw means you risk shootin a goodguy.
dat axually wuz aimed directly at you Kafleen, Ise hoping you unnerstan I wus jest funning. Lyk muh dad always sed, horsing aroun is fun only til somwun gits hurt an den it isn’t mush fun anymoar. So shud I hook up wiff der Cheezfrenz?
I noes it wuz furr me; dat’s why I smilded at u, Sol!
Sum ub us stick arown cuz as u say, owr shortcomings get
overlooked…and wee sukkseed caws wee can doo dat in
return furr uddurs…or mebbee dis place TEECHES us how too do dat furr uddurs…..is a majikul Velveteen Rabbitee experients
furr many heer…it has sumfing speshul. If u bee feelin teh
lub, join!
weiz ober luk shortz cumings cuz sum ub us b berri short!
sos- ifnz u haz a tast…. den whut beez ur flavr?
welkum to da parti!
momcat
*noms Sol’s toe*
hmmmm…tastes like sarsparilla too mee…..
*Snerk* Knawk it awf, dat tikkles. Rilly? Sarsparilla? Lemme git aOOOF lil Errff, taste ob – Ouch! one of dem toes
*soft announcer voice to camera*
And while Sol is distracted and tasting his toe and finding it
strangely Limburger like and not Sasparill-y at all, the donkee
is busy nomming his parfait.
*looks up frum parfait* “Wutt?”
Ok I dood it!
So fast??? Yoo did it so fast???? it tuk mee neerlee two daiz!!!! Well -nawt awl day – just had to go bak an trai again.
I just sinded up. I dunno how longs it will take to ackshually gets in, if dey lets me in at awl!!
yur in awlreddy! chek yur emayl for teh welkom pak
Yoo are alreddee in!!! ai sented yoo an emall – I think.
Ambercat!!!
JYNX!!! awlmost, eneway!1
we R too peeps in wun mynd tonite!
Teh kitteh’s eyes break my heart. Pepe Le Pew’s gurrlfriend had eyes like that, remember?
*wot was herrrr name?*
My Alzheimer’s, let me show you it.
Pepe’s gurlfrend ne’er had an ‘officcal’ nam but she wuz either “Fifi” or “Penelope Pussycat”.
>^..^<
Hai Guiz:
today is my Birfday! I’m furty yrs owld now! (I wuz 29 4 a lllllloooooonnnggg thyme!)
Birffday present: lay in softtee bed, order hubby around, look at LOLcats and tawk to cheezfrens!
Happees birfday!!! Furty wasn’t so bad for mees. Fortees was ucky.
Yeh, I noses whutchoo meen; 4-t’s nawt so grate, akchooally. Dat’s Y eye past dem up an went straight back 2 Furty!
Oh, my, Eye has mislead my Cheezfrens! Yesh, I passt up awl my 4-T’s—awl ob dem—I stayed “twentynine” awl dat thyme. After a deck-aid of dat, I hadd enuff an desyded to tern “firty” (29 gets tiredsum affter awhyle).
COnfoosed? Srry, it B hard to say how old I B—butt it B sum frakshun ob a scentchairy.
Awl teh cheezpeepz am troolee ayjliss N E waiz!
Butt sellybraytin teh burfdaiz am fun – speshully eef eet meanz yew kan awdur yur hubby rown awl dai!!
Sew – mennee mennee happinessiz 4 yew adn beeg burfdai hedbonkz an snorgulz.
Eyam 6 tea sumtink an steel phealz liek teh kitteh !!1
Happee daze 2 yew!!1
What I did when I was 35 was say I was 42 or so. Don’t I look great for 42?
.
Nao that I’m close to 50, without much grey amongst teh brown (thanks, Grandma, for teh great genes!) I say I’m 54. I look d*** good for 54, and my knees hardly bother me at all.
.
Sometymes teh need to mess with their heads overcomes teh millstone of humiliation – did Fox Mulder say that ? f.r.
Ai also hadz teh Cr*p fortyiff burpday.
Noe wun bringded me a cup ob cawfee in bed, teh kidz wuz skreemin as yooshul.
Hadz mah neeces Staffy goggie stayin,sew kittehz had biig hatred goin awn.
It wuz rainin bad,Hazel wuz onna shed waiylin cuz wanted in but “that googie iz in mah howse”!!. Ai climbed onna chayre tew save her an bring her in,teh chayre fell off teh pavemint,ai bashed ebree part ob mai boddee b4 ai hit teh floor(teh grownd shook).
“Whell” ai thot to sef. *Owch* ai sed-but inn moar cullerfull terms.
Ai gots up,kitteh had srammed,goggie wuz jumpin at me,an ai stood der in mah soaked clobez an hurted pryde an boddeh an thot “Happee bleedin birfday”
Hadz a shower after,banged mah sweed onna cabinit door. “Otay” ai thot.Cant git mush werse dan dis.-Wrong. Ai opened teh lownge door ober teh top ob mah big toe an had a skreem-ebree sware werd ai noe came owt!!
Ai gave up awn teh dai den an went tew bed inna grump.
Nex dai wuz mush bedder,wented fer a lubbleee indian din dins wib mah Sissys.
Ai hadz teh shampain an dat mayded me feelz bedder.
oh deer! iz sry u had such a mizerabull birtday, Tidmum. i turns 49 dis Fall. i think i wantz 2 sillybrate moar un-birthdays- maybe with shampain n indian fud.
Das teh bestest wai tew hab a birfdai
If we habbin unbirfdaiz,ai beez 39 nex yeer. Yayyyyyy!!!!
O hai, Tidmum, Mai mama did dat. We wuz bof 25 de saim tiem. Den Ai decied nawt hab ebbree yeer. Just yeer hab tu renu dribe lisens. so wuz bowt 30 by yeer 2000 , naow 32 an she nawt borned yet.
Datz brillyunt -ai try mahsef nex yeer.
OOhhhh-nex yeer ai declare ai be twenneefree nawt 41!!!
Mah liddle Sissy getz teh mad wib me.Shee free yeerz yunger,an peeps
hab awlwayz sed she luks mush older dan me!!
Went tew buy face creem reesentlee-teh sales ladee thot it wuz fer mah Sissy!!!
O hai, guis! God ideer, gma…makes more scents dan mii been 30—-I haddta hab my 1rst son at seben yrs old. (akchoolly, i had hem at 30—awl dese nummers R 2 confoosy)
Oh, Tidmum, I so srry yoo hadda sucky birfday. I hadda wince alot reeding ‘boot it! Yay 4 sissys an shampain! (bedder dan odder pains)
my kitteh sis luks older than eye, so i herd…
two ntes ago I wuz at grow-shurely store, an i axed teh gui 2 scan a pkg ob small ‘cans’ ob Pringles. “Iz a gut ting 2 put in yer kiddez lunches, ” he remarked. O, I sez, my kiddez is long growed up an flyed away.” He is awl
yoo doan luk old enuf 2 hab growed kidz! Whutz yer sekrit?”
Eye fote, “oily skin”, butt I supressed it and juss
‘ed…
Taht maed me laff – Ai has teh oylee skin too; nawt so grate wen Ai wus a teenayjer an cubbered in spots, but pritty gud nao Ai’s grone up an reglarly taeken to be yeers yunger tahn Ai am. Tho waerin mai hayr in pigtayuls for werk mite halp wit taht too!
Muh sweetypie Esther luks (so gud!) ten years yunger den fer real acause she schmears on the spf30 ebbery mawning fer last twenny + years. Smoove skin. Ob coarse she don’t werry about gittin a tan – she borned wif a pretty deep golden rich tan.
ha!
iz oder den u! I getz ta b 50 dis yer! m sorta lukin four ward too it ackshouly, I can neber membr howz old I m, bein sayn iz 49 fur about too yers naow! gascat awlwaz correctn meiz…… teenkittehz who kin do math n likz ta ketch meiz bein wrong! shessh!
momcat
dats whut ahm here fur!
pbttt!
den de goez n shos u de kin do da moticonz n I cantz!!!!
buttonz himz mak da ‘puter beiz nis-
n sumtymes himz cooks!
momcat
oh, tidmum, fanks fur sharin dat storee!
ummm…
wood choo be mad if i tole you i chukloleleld?
(you sound purtee danjerus wen you getz teh mads, adn i wanna stay on yer gud sied! )
Oh MaryO’
-doan be sillee-Ai laffin bowt it mahsef!!
Tahts jess mah lyfe ai fink-gots tew laff bowt fingz oar ai be washed awai by teh teerz!
Ai habs soo mush tew be positib bowt in mah lyfe,teh ‘Pleh!’ fingz can be delt wib.
Anom too dat. Funnee—mah 40 wuzzn’t bad, butt fer sum reezon 39 bovvered me! An mai Mom sed, “Hao ole r yoo dis yere?” (Shee hadda stroek awhiel bak an sumtiems teh memry borks awn her.) Ai sed, “Jak Bennie, Mawm.” “OH!
Shee sed, “Firty-nyne!”
(sowry–ai hit sumfin rong an teh pyooter borked.)
An taht wuz wurs dan 40. An now ai’m 51! Ware duz teh time goe? Ai gawt noe klue.
Oh—ai forgetted! HAPPY BIRFDAY!!!!
tanks, frum geezer to geezer!
Ai fink it wuz George Burns hoo sed, “I reed teh obitchuareez ebbry dai, an iff mai naem izzunt inn dem, itz a gud day!” An a grate dai wid awl dese wunnerfull cheezfrenz. {{{{{{{{Cheezpeeps}}}}}}}}
teh goot fing ’bout getting outta teh 4-T’s is dat yoo caint ebben ‘bemember how owld yoo B haff teh thyme. Srsly. I haffta skratch my hed an fink, doan rlly halp, tho!
Happy Birfday tew yoo deer kitkay.
Ai baked yew a beyotiful kaek-choll;it wib frostins an crumbled chokklit awn top.
It am in teh shaype ob a kitteh.
Make a whish wen yoo bloo owt teh candles.
Happy tayl danses fer yew.
*danse an spin an whirl arown*
*may kitkay hab teh bestest birfday arownd*
Snorguls an purrs an hedbonks frum mah kittehs an a shmoo an hugz frum me.
Oooo, Luffly chokklit cake!!! Eggstra rich, dense and dark!!!! nna shaype ob a kitteh! I lubs teh dark kittehz so mush, I cood eet dem up! *etes kitteh in my mynd*
*blows out teh kandells, finks ob menny happy wishes*
Now, lets C, do I nom teh paddy pawz 1rst, or nom teh cyoote widdle eres 1rst?
Happi Happi Burfdai! Ai brings som moer gifts fore yu:
Amayzin Amazonian Amethysts
Byootiful bow-kay ob bloomin flowrs
Chinkin, chymin china (wit teh handpaynted periwinkuls)
D….
Duzzins ov daffydills
Easter lillies (still blooming)
Fresh Figs – deelishus
G….
Grate big bowl ov fresh strawberriez
Happie toons awn big CD
Ice kreem
J…
jewel-kulored jumpin lelleebeens
Klever Kittehs Klymin Kertins
Lawts ob lidl luvlee shynee tings
mowntanz ov cheezburgerz!
NUTZ!!!! Teh menee nutz can go rite heer – now we ar OK again!
i can has acorns, beer nutz an catch-yoos?
Outraajuslee opalicshus opals
P…
yu skippeded n…yu liyk nutz, kitkay?
eye lubs nutz! Almonds, Brazil Nutz, Cashoos…
Ohnoes! We’s gawt a list-in-a-list!
Bleshoo!
Drupe iz a kind ov nut (almond)
Edjookateid at NUTS (Norwegian University of Technology and Science), ja shurr, you betcha!
Fancee Filberts
DON’t !
STOp!
Aw NUTS, yer killin’ me!
*thud*
i can has sum
goober peez & Hazil nutz, pleez?
(glad too see joo recoberded from the killin’, kitkay)
Insanitee iz nuts
Jam nuts (hardware)
Kracker Jak haz nuts
Lug nuts adn lock nuts
Macadamia Nuts
Nut, a female Ejipshun Ceiling Cat
Nawt to wanna sound like a smartpants but drupes is a catagory of froots. often wif stones. Cherrys, plumz, peaches are drupes and I tink olives too. Rose hips and caper berris is also drupes. Nawt to menshun coffee, cocoa, mangoes, and ob corse the almond.
But Nawt cashews – dey ain’t nuts. You’ll nebber fine cashews inna shell cause dey done ever hab shells. De cashew is a stem like part of the cashew fruit.d;
demz nawt fill berts…. demz hazel nutz! I naows! Iz frum oreogun!
momcat
Punkin Pie
Quince Jellee
Rhubarb Pie wif lots ov shugar (ar yoo happee now SolanEsher?????)
S….
shuger filled peeces ov choklit
tee (iceded)
unikorms
verri brite shiny tings
wiyt choklits
x…
awh shootz… bak at da endz again
xanthan gum (fur da chewi gum)
yella pound kek
zebra barz ( gots to tri wun sumtime…. deh luk gud)
momcat
Muh hart soars lyk a hawk!
Mis de N . Nekkid gy in showur?
Gud juxtaposishun fer mai blushing faec!
N nootrisus nuts, alll kines
Tidmum! Nawt DAT kine!
Whut!!!! Heehee!
joo aiz is gunna edn up in teh Nawty Barn!
Joo Gaiz, ai ment, nawt Aiz…. sry
Nawty Barn mush bedder fun dan mah howse at teh moment.
Ai r goin der rite nao!!!! Mite bee sum tyme..Heehee!!
Saem heer. Ai joinz yu, Tidmum.
Havz teh Fun!
LOLOOLOLLLLOLSSS!! Can we haz too menee nutz heer awn ICHC???
Ai think NAWT!!!
Sumwun start frum heer wif the “S” pleez!!!
Sherbert dipdabs
Toasted marshmellos
Umbrellies wib teh Kitteh happee fayces awn-mayke us smyle inna rayne.
tanks 4 awl teh ymmy an pritty fings, peepz!
fangs a lot for teh Bumbershoot, Tidum—I cant wate til it rayns now! Kittehz und goggies frum hebben!
such a gute Idee, wii shuld mayke sum ‘brellies lyke dat IRL! An ICHC printed awl obber tehm!
oooh Ambercat, dis be teh hard!
Dozen dazzlin dimunds
E…
Emerilz teh size ob eggzez
Fabyuluss fansy danses
G…
Happytayle Birfdai to U! What kind ob caek wud u liek? (Mai spesh… spech… um, hte kine ai makes bess is carrit wif xtra fik creem cheez ice-ing.)
FANK-YOU, 4.5!!!
mmmmm, caret cake ‘n’ creemy cheeezy frostink!!!!
*eets slowly an wiff a spoon 2 git awl teh yummies, denn likks teh playte like a kittehkay*
Welllcumz!
Is important to getting ebery lass bit ob dat frostink!
Ai do dis wehn ai eets py n eye screem, too.
Kitkay!!!! Liebste Kitkay. Ich wuenchse Dir das Allerbeste und Schoenste Geburtstag dass Du je erlebt hast!!! Vierzig – fuer mich jedenfalls, war auch nicht schlecht!!! Wir denken immer – oooh! Vierzig!! Nicht erwuenscht!!! Aber wenn man endlich da ist – findet man dass es doch sehr schoen sein kann. Nur etwas anders!!
{{{{{{Kitkay}}}}}}} Meine liebe Freundin!!
Vielen, vielen Dank, liebe JCH4K! (ich habe noch eine liebe Freundin namens “Janet”, sie hat aber keine kittehleins–die Arme!) Heute ruhe ich mich gut aus. Dass ist ja das Allerbeste im Moment; ich bin in letzter Zeit VIEL zu beschaeftig gewesen! Du bist mir auch eine sehr liebe Freundin, und ich freue mich sehr, mit dir heute zu sprechen!
(in bezug auf das Alter: Vierzig is eigentlich mir schon lange vorbei! Mit siebenundvierzig bin ich wieder auf die Uni gegangen und mit fuenfzig eine Magister in deutsche Literatur gemacht—hat mich fast umgebracht, aber ich lebe noch, wer wiesst was ich noch machen will?)
{{{{{{{{{{Janet}}}}}}}}}}} Kitkays liebe Freundin!!!
Ach!!! *Kopfschreibtisch* Das wusste ich doch!!!!! Du musst Dich sehr gewundert haben dass ich so ohneweiteres mitgemacht habe!!!! Meine einzige Ausrede ist das ich neulich nicht sehr gut geschlafen habe!!!
Taht sownds reely neet, butt cud yoo pleez translayt fer us wut doan sprechens teh Deutsch?
Ho-kay:
JCHK wuz awl: Hab teh besttest, lubbliest birfday ebber, dear fren KK. 40 wasnot so badd, rlly. Juss different.
Kitkay waz all: Thanks alot, deerest Janet, i’m resting, it’s grate ’cause ich bin like WAAAYY 2 bissy Lately. *wispers* I not rlly 40. I wint to gradual skool in my alt age an gotted a MA.
denn JCHas wus awl: *heddesk* I noed that alreddy! I needz more sleepys.
Zippee is awl: Anom to dat!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Fanks!
kopfschreibtisch. . . . .
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
burgers all around!
YES! iz sehr FUNNY!
(transliteration: “headwritingdesk”)
!cabezaescritorio!, tambien!
et têtepupitre!
Hippo Birdee Two Ewe!
Hippo Birdee Two Ewe!
Hippo Birdee liebste Kitkay!
Hippoe Birdee Two Ewe!
.
I hoeps yoo can haz an amazink birfday silly bray shun!
.
I akshully had a bery gud 40th birfday (mai frenz throo me a big partee), but affer taht, nawt so grate, akshully. So, mai wishes fer yoo iz taht yoo haz all teh lubs, laffs, snorgles, hedbonks, kisses, gud helf an gud fuds yoo culd eber want!
.
{{{{{kitkay}}}}}
tank-yoo so mush 4 teh lubs, bonks an stuff, Pwned!!!!
An the hipp byrdies to use! I can keeps teh byrdies? 2 luff birds, or may-B 2 cockatails?
glad yoo has had a gud 40 birfday!! Dat B so llloonngg ago, eye naught ‘bemember it! O well, happy ebberyfing to us awl, no madder how owld! (Or odd!)
happi birfdae, kitkay! furty yeerz old! did yu mayk a birfdae wishumz?
fanks, #won! I wishum I can stay “furty” a looonnng, looong, lllooooooonnnnng thyme—ebben more yrs denn I wuz “twenny-nyne”!!!
*snikker*
furty iz a birfdae ennywarez between tirdy, foardy, nd fifdy!
fur evah young- rod stewart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHNeRjC4nJw&feature=related
Ai is laet as ususual… but happi birfday ennyway! No matter how mennys.
A lady ai useded to noes desided wen she got to 90 dat she wood count bakwurdz frum den on. Wen she got to 86 she said “Ai shood be prowd to be 94″ an started countin forwurdz agin. She libbed to be 99 yeerz an 7 munfs old.
(An drove a car wen she was 98 — yikes!)
WOW!!! fanks, an cool storry!
My mutterkatze is nawt kwite 8-T an eye Bees her mommeh now (oldtimers got to her early). I awlso B mommeh to my kwazy older bruder. My junger sis sed I B ebberbunny’s mommeh; i taughted her fings like ‘how to bwush yer teef’, an ‘how 2 wipe’
(i naut rememer dat 
) .
Doan ask my 2 growed-up kiddlets, tho, dey prolly fink dey lerned demsefs ebberfing on dere own. (i can has graditood?)
Ai cawl tihs “turminal mudder-hen-itis”—meens u’ll mom ebbrywun till teh dai u dye! An iff itz teh wai u’re wyred, tehn taht’s teh wai u’re wyred! An cant doo nuffin abowt it. Itz a gift–nawt ebbrywun kan caer 4 fokes liek taht. Fank CC 4 U! U bee wunnerful!
awww…ai sowwy abowt yur mumma, kitkay. ai haz gramfawder hoo haz awltimerz. mai gramma tayks kayr ov him ebbry dae, eben after she puteded him in a nursing hohm. she lubs him veri veri much
Meine Mamakatze ist inna Assisted Libbing ctr down teh street; I sees or tawks 2 her ‘most ebber day. I manaje her munnies (DONT WANT!), an her treetments.
Funny fing, she has mellolwed alot wiff age–not so paranoyd (opposite of usual case, I fink), and nicer–altogever a different purrson dann teh won hoo reared mii.
So, iz good, obberawl.
Ai just plane gibbed up havin birfdayz entyrelee after teh ayth abbinersury ob mah twenny-tooth birfday. DO NAWT WANT!
Ai still wont burfdais to be lyk tehy were wen Ai wus nyn – an am awlwais disapoynted cus tehre nawt
srry 4 diskappointment, Ambercat, isnt it nyce 2 hab gut membres ob childhood birfdayz? I know sumwon hoos parentkats nebber bemembered her birfdays–cept wonce or twyct—sitt doan ‘bemember. 16 naught so sweet, akchooly. Wating in vane for “happy birfday”! Now juss adbirthtizes and silly-brates N E way!
Congrats and ululations I tink furty is a grand age to be, all the sturm und drang of yer twennies is behind you. My sin turned furty last May and he was all concerned, compalined that he was just days from being old. I splained that that’s egssactly where he wants to stay for the rest of hims life, days shy of being old. Yer only young once but never too old to act childlike.
“Aging is inevitable; Maturity is optional!”
Eye here yoo ’bout teh 20’s Sturm und Drang! Affter dat cumes “Romanticism” *sigh* O, teh Sorrows ob jung Werter! Teh Bigg-heddedness of Wagner! Teh worthy poetic words ob Wordsworth! *sign*
wate, yoo meen teh period ob teh 30’s taht follows the S & D ob the 20’s.
My bad!
regardless ob how long yer twennies took, ten, fifteen, nineteen years, twennies is twennies.
Yay!!!!
Happy Birfday!
I maded you a birfday card!
jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1496083241687&source=jl999
Juss copy an paste it…it will add the http by itself…
franks sew mush, Kafleen, donkey fren! dat’s teh wunnderfullest Kard ebber!
I lubs teh googies! I hassa Lubbradore my self ! He lubbs ebberwon, ebben teh kitteh (I gotted my Tabby fren to keeep Labby fren kompanee—heez lubby, 2)
{{{{{{{{{{kafleen}}}}}}}}}}}
awwwwww!!!! Tanks furr ansurring! U gabe me SUCH a happy!!!!
Is woman. No hairs on arms.
If dats woomin, her haz teh man hands.
and effy-dense ob testost-R-own in teh calfs., 2.
POOR KITTEH…
Iz defunutly womann. Pur kittun not like wartuh.
Jus ina cais n e wun liekz, Ai just receib linkee http://www.lolcatbible.com. Iz werk in progres so canz help tranzlait tu lol if yu wantz
Such a sadz face
teh naked guy is da wurst part, i think
This was just before
naked man got improvised
orchidectomy.
eeeeeccchhh—caul anbullence!!! Stat!
(ennybuddy know teh fonenummer?)
kwik- sumbudy tells me the nomber fur 911!!!!
OOOOO!!!! KickahaOta!!! Taht sounds reelee – owie.
An – how doo yoo hav that werd at hand in yur vocabularry?
orchidectomy iz puhfectly gud werd. Iffen he were Polyorchid would dat cause an eeeeecccchhh? Ob corse nawt. And he could hire owt as pawn shop sign. It’s the improvised part thass got me crossin muh legs and saying eeecchhhh.
akordin to teh books, Klingons haz teh free test-tickles. I gess u’d hab 2 fine Tribble an c if s/he reeacks, coz NOObuddy’s gonna ask!
Iz Greek
(2 mii)
I speek ebbry langwuj known too man.
Except Greek.
*looks arown slyly an waits furr a bite*
I give you an 8/10 for style (because I’m a sucker for haikus), but -1000000000000000/10 for that mental image. That hurts just thinking about it.
Image: minus WHAT?
I demand a recount, ’cause
I can’t count that high.
he be lookin liek a wumman nawt man…skinny haerluss legz n sutch
Those look like big ol’ man hands to me.
That’s just the saddest kitty face I’ve ever seen….. but it’s funny too ;D
A “Do Not Want” face if I’ve ever seen one lol
Ai lub diz kitteh’s spresshun!
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/01/15/im-in-ur-shower/
hey guy, it’s already been done. this isn’t an improvement.
I’m glad somebody else said it!
Sori but ai donz like this 1. Kitteh obvusly upset, not funny at all. Wud be diffrent if kitteh was Lake Van cat as they luv wartur but tihs 1 iznt. Foto at kittehs expens so no lol at all.
Srsly? Dat face is furr reel? I thot it was doctored sumhow….the eyes an mouf
look hyper big and over-expresshunned. I diddunt reealize it was 100% authentic pic…. now I has a confuzz…
NO WAY would any man who values his jewels bathe a kitteh nekkid!
He’s actually wearing underpants, you know.
that is such a sad face: the frown!!
it’s ok kid. i gotta big, soft, fluffy towel for you, when ur done. Human: got peroxide, stiptic and bandaids, if u want them…
stoopid
ANIMAL ABUSE! TERRIBLE PEOPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
snurt
p00r kitteh…no 1 liks a neked man!
Dat’s wut YOO fink!
omg.At least try to make SOME sense ppl!!!!!1
cheezfrens makin purrfect centz alla timz
Rather make sum dollars.
That be one of saddest kitteh faces ebber!
Tink de next pic was one one fast-swiping, up-arcing clawz…Screaming nekked man…
That is a true, pittah kittah.
why do ppl wash cats?i mean…they wash themselves
I think this is cruelty to the poor cat, all done for the sake so you can get a few laughs from people who you don’t even know. You’re a disgrace.