geico collections agent

uses scare tactics
yoo dont skare da kitteh though…
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: invaderzim
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uses scare tactics
yoo dont skare da kitteh though…
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: invaderzim
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
U little TWERP, gitz offa mai finner
*ob courcz, ai mint mai HUUMIN’s finner*
Yay again - GeeNeeZcatz!! Again, alas - mai dans ov joi fur yoo must bee short an - well - maybee sweet? Ai cud trai.
Fur thiz gecko - becuz ai has had tehm awn mai finger laik taht an it duz NAWT tikkle!
*dans twerl hop OW hop Ow dans twerl hop OW hop OW dans twerl OW OW OW !!*
Tank U furr Ur lubbly kewt dans ov joi….U R 2 kien.
Srry dat ai kant stay N play longer, ai still hab much 2 do
werkin on mai *dirty wurd* taxes agin 2dai
TTFN, ai wish all cheezfrenz much lub N Lite
Yes LOLOLOL!!! Ai, too, ar nawt dun wif teh durtee wurd t. . .! *sigh* ai sumtiems think hau lufflee it wud bee if we cud just stay heer - wif no t. . taxes to figger out!
Yu see, guize…..it is berry much eazier to du yur *dirty wurd* taxes iffin yu ar poor like me…..bwhahahah….I had my form filled out online and in the queue before teh *nuther dirty wurd* IRS wuz evin reddy four it!
Ohhai . . . deh *dirty wurd* hurtz lez ef yai pla gaem liek . . . oh ai ken mebe maek IRS giv bak mai monee !!!1!!! Iz a leeetel war ta fite Gud Luk mai frien . . . mai ceiling cat gide ya ta viktry !!1!
wellz, you cold do wut i did. do taxes fur,say haf hower, den rewad yrsef wif ICHC fr haf hower, repeat as needled. tooked fureber, but id wuz teh onwy way i cud motibate mysef & i had to geddid dun bfore i leeb.
wunder if day will kweshchun my dudukshun ob elebentee catillyun fur mental helf serbices rendered by ICHC?
Dangit, I’m supposed to be leavin butt had too stop an laff at dis.
5 @s. <—–dat’s a cheezburger, see?
KAFLEEN!!!! KAFLEEN!!! Dont go!!! yoo ar despritlee needed heer! Dunt yoo KNOW that!!!!
Regardlezz ov what happenz, we MUST stik togedder - hau can wee bee happee if sum ov ar deer peeple ar missing???? No fun there! We need yoo!!!! Laik we need ayre to breethe!!
Wut SHEE said! U hab gibben mee sew many laffs wen ai despritly needed dem–u kno CC gibbed uss laffter too halp uss kope—liek wen ai fot mah hubby wuz dyin. (Hee’s mush betteh, now, BTW; fanks 4 teh praiers.) Leen on uss 4 a liddle whyle. Lett uss halp u teh wai u’ve halped uss, okay?
Doan leev, Kafleen; yuu hasta staye adn halp awl ov us to maike muches funee adn hav moar funses. Srsly. Us needes yu!
Pre-historik fingernale klippers.
(||0|) X 5

Rodney - I LOVE yur burgerz. Is it OK if ai uze them too? Since curruntlee no can has cheezburger? But tehy ar yurs. so ai needd yur blessing furs. . .nawt second, ai meen.
An ai am also gonna jump in heer rite at teh taupe fur a liddle shout our. We ar mssing sum important peeps - purrhaps tehy mite heer frum up heer.
Tehy hav nawt bin hurd frum in som tiem - an ai, fur wun, misses teem. paws4thot, annieluvsprintie, leaf, darrkwolff, sangrail, Gayla34, typingisnotactivism, Princess Mu, jules. . .
Shuddn’t hav triaied this wiffout a list - menee moar. JUst becuz ai dint menshun yoo bai nayme - yoo know hoo yoo ar!!! Pleez know taht yoo ar missed!!!
YIkes!!! SJ!!! AiI just NOO we shudda traied to fit Phillipe sumhow into taht carryawn luggage! SJ - Ambercat an ai an ebreebuddee else ar mssing yoo a lot!
Pore liddle Ambercat iz just a wisp ov hur former self - so pining an yurning is she fur anddoer discusshun ov grin fuzzee nikers. Ai, alas, am nawt yet a wisp - but pining ai ar!
Mee too!!!
Plz tew cum bak S.J.
Plz cum bak awl Cheezfrenz hoo am M.I.A!!!
An luk!!! Heer iz Tidmum, awl wispee an pail - also pining!!!
Go ahead and use the (||0|)’s, I didn’t invent them, but I found them as
(|0|) and added the ‘cheese’.
I suppose you could add lettuce too [green stuff] as (|$0|), but that would be a bit much.
|{0| (burger wif termater…)
|:0| (burger wif unyon…)
||0|;;; (fries wif dat?…)
*clappin floofy paws tewgedder*!!!!!!
~(||0|) steemin hawt -offf-teh grill chz brgr.
~(|X|0|) bacon (two strips) cheezburger
I think the parens are needed
(| = top bun
|) = bottom bun
0 = burger
i can has no carb diyet?
(hehe - thanks r.d.!)
Sooo, iffn ai unnerstan:
(|0|) — plain burger
(|{0|) — wif termater
(|:0|) — wif unyun
(|$0|) — wif lettus
(||0|) — wif cheez
(|{$:|0|) — wif eberting
Wer iz Dagwud? Wee needz n expurt 2 halp deel wif sutsh thik burgurz
~(s|0|) steemin hawt -offff-teh grill wif saurkraut (fer Dagwud)
LOLOLOL!!! Yoo guize!! Best buncha burgerz EBER!!!!
Janet…mebbe they are havin teh same prollems I had wif teh *dirty wurd* IE….it gottid to where it wuz almoas impossibibble to play hear…at hoam my IE wurked fine, but at wurk it jus wassn’t wurf teh hassil…jus sayin..
ai been MIA - werking on mai liddle plai. It has opened at teh new theater last nite!
http://www.marktwainsblues.com
YAYAYAYAY!!! I thot it wuz just taht yoo were reelee reelee bizzy!
wull, yeah - wif mai *rillygudyushudawlgoseeit* liddle plai…
dis is so tacky. I yam ashamed. But I am geographically enabled, culturally predisposed, and literarily inclined to go see yer play but I unfortunately am financially constrained. We has alreddy spent much of our entertainment budget on Met Opera tickets and while $40 each for tickets is not much compared to to most other Theater experiences, particularly in Manhattan, is there any Lol or cheezfrens incentive plan? There is another Mark Twain play running this season, I think itz On Bway and nawt a musical, any relation between them other than coincidence?
yah - iz just a coinkydink.
*whispurrs*
werd on teh street is tehy will paper teh howse this week an erly nekst, bcawse we had so liddle tyme to advertise between wen we closed at teh first theater and opened at teh DR2…maybe give TDF a call?
Cheezfren, nebbur, nebbur feel tacky an shamed fur bein finanshullee cunstrayned.
Dat is nebbur a gage ub a man’s wurf.
U sed it!
Ai know - COL - ai just spent a terribul week where ai cudn’t soo enething wif a lappy top and just IE!! Cudn’t doo enething but luk, an nawt much eben then. Tooo SLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
An ai wudn’t fur teh whirrled hav it taht yoo cudn’t bee heer. Ai just hope they can finc a solooshun taht can maek awl ov us happee!
*directs sudan chare barers tew slow the frantic pace and stop near Janet*
*steps from chare, opens arms tew Janet*
kum gives us a smoo darling! Ahm sorri ah have neglected u lately!
I brought presents frum abroad tho, purrhaps den joo cin furgibe me?
Lusois silks in deep greens and purples fur Janet…
a box ov amber and silvur fur Romeow…
new donkey shooes fur kafleen…
eggsotik vucan moosikal instruments fur tribble an mary o…
a diamond studded collar fur cookies human…
eggsotik spices fur teho an stend…
special belli fur lubricint fir woodchuck… ( tew help wiff bellyslyde injurys incurred thru friction )
ambur pendants fur IBK…
low healed silk shoes fur LCB…
( if i left you off this list, please let mi no an ah will open up the other gift trunk and find urs)
*asks bearers tew set up picnic and tents here in da medow*
*Passes out martinis and starts the first round of apitizers on the wai around the crowd*
{(IRL) my roomate and I are buying a house and that is what is keeping me so busy. :)}
oooooooooh-shinee and muzical….fanks!
ur welkum!
an - what a troolee spektacular entrance. Ai cud nawt pawsiblee hav stajed it bedder maiself!
An how awn URTH did yoo know taht ai luvz teh silks in deep greens an purplez??
An what a plaice fur a picnic. Teh best ov awl. Ai hav alreddee let awl mai kittehs out an wee had a reelee good romp. Wuz so gud to see tehm again!
Do yoo know teh eggsakt lokahsun ov teh beginning ov teh Meadow? Ai’m going to start bringing these historical eventz forward so awl ar noo frenz can see this too!
{{{{{{Princess Mu}}}}}} Oops - ai nokked yur sweeet liddl crown a liddle kruked. *straighten, straighten* There - awl purtee again.
Now - if ai can just get teh odders to cum too!!!!
(ai understand about teh house - sounds grate - but still - yoo were missed!!)
I has a new shooes?
*looks down at shooes wiff pleshur*
Wai, tank u, frend! How thotty ub u!
Oh mah Princess!!!
U’ve cum bak to us! U didn’t reeeeely hab to bring us pwesents, but I’z in lub wif mah box ov amber and silver. So byootiful!
Fank yew fur teh martoonee and teh nom noms. Nofing iz quite az byootiful az a dai in teh Princess Mu Meadow, ware teh bridge reeches teh earff.
*bows to Princess*
Awwww, Mu, tanks so mush!
Mai belli fur has neber felt so……
.
.
lubricated!
Glad to have you back!
u r all verry welcome! thanks fur comming tew da picknik
Ooh, I see it too! I used a @ butt I like urs, too, rodney!
Tenacity… I haz it
drillgecko will nom you, and all cosigners on your delinquent policy
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/02/17/drillcat-will-kill-your-family/
Wonder how he managz to carry his fud home…
HeHeHe…taik-owt, Ur dooin itz rong!
In Soviet Russia fud carries you out.
We habs 2 anoles heer an every few weeks one ob dem decides to stop eetin. Sos I has ta grab dem an kinda forcefeeds dem sum babbehfood to get them going agin. Usually takes a few days of catchin dem and stuff…I tink dey jus get mad at me picken dem up so dey decide to eets dere regoolar fud. Anywys..da male (Phil) is feisty an last time i picked him up, he tries dis moove (like in pic)on meh!! “Phil, I r not fud!!”
drillgecko will nom you, and all cosigners on your delinquent policy
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/02/17/drillcat-will-kill-your-family/
(see if it posts this time - drill gecko ate it last time. and where the heck are the burgers?)
*dey R changin da commintz sekshun, tyin to spped up fingz.
C note in “newz frum” box, 2 da rite of postie pik.*
s.t.e.n.d. Gud hevens - waht ar yoo dooing up so urlee.
But since yoo ar - plz go up an tell teh deer burgerz taht yoo, too (laik me - feels AAWFUL wiffout teh burgers - cant tell if eneewun eben knowz ai heer!!) want teh burgerz bak
*sniff* Teh pages - they luk so bare an . . .nawt prittee!
Kafleen sed yestiddy dat she caint go on widdout the Cheezburgrs so she gonna run fahr fahr awaey were the Lolcats will neber find her.
Dats soo sad.

Pleez cum bak Kafleen.
.
*Liddle Donkee*
*Liddle Donkee*
*In yaw Lonlee playce*
*Cum bak an joyn us*
*Liddle Donkee*
*An put teh smiles upon owr fayce*
*hollers lowdly across teh innertoobs*
Kafleen! Ar yoo owt ther! Plz to cum bak an hang wit yor cheez-frenz! Kthx!
I lures yoo bak wit sum hand-mayd burgers, curtesy uv Rodney’s inspirayshun:
(||0|) X 5
Waht iz dis??? Kafleen has runned away??? Kafleen….yu git bak hear rite naow, liddle girl! Doan make me kum lookin four yu!! I noe we all misses teh burgerz….but remmemmer dat Cheez an Tofu et al are always workin on teh teknickle stuffs…have faith!!! Dey will return teh burgerz somehow…