geico collections agent
uses scare tactics
yoo dont skare da kitteh though…
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: invaderzim
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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U little TWERP, gitz offa mai finner
*ob courcz, ai mint mai HUUMIN’s finner*
Yay again – GeeNeeZcatz!! Again, alas – mai dans ov joi fur yoo must bee short an – well – maybee sweet? Ai cud trai.
Fur thiz gecko – becuz ai has had tehm awn mai finger laik taht an it duz NAWT tikkle!
*dans twerl hop OW hop Ow dans twerl hop OW hop OW dans twerl OW OW OW !!*
Tank U furr Ur lubbly kewt dans ov joi….U R 2 kien.
Srry dat ai kant stay N play longer, ai still hab much 2 do
werkin on mai *dirty wurd* taxes agin 2dai
TTFN, ai wish all cheezfrenz much lub N Lite
Yes LOLOLOL!!! Ai, too, ar nawt dun wif teh durtee wurd t. . .! *sigh* ai sumtiems think hau lufflee it wud bee if we cud just stay heer – wif no t. . taxes to figger out!
Yu see, guize…..it is berry much eazier to du yur *dirty wurd* taxes iffin yu ar poor like me…..bwhahahah….I had my form filled out online and in the queue before teh *nuther dirty wurd* IRS wuz evin reddy four it!
Ohhai . . . deh *dirty wurd* hurtz lez ef yai pla gaem liek . . . oh ai ken mebe maek IRS giv bak mai monee !!!1!!! Iz a leeetel war ta fite Gud Luk mai frien . . . mai ceiling cat gide ya ta viktry !!1!
wellz, you cold do wut i did. do taxes fur,say haf hower, den rewad yrsef wif ICHC fr haf hower, repeat as needled. tooked fureber, but id wuz teh onwy way i cud motibate mysef & i had to geddid dun bfore i leeb.
wunder if day will kweshchun my dudukshun ob elebentee catillyun fur mental helf serbices rendered by ICHC?
Dangit, I’m supposed to be leavin butt had too stop an laff at dis.
5 @s. <—–dat’s a cheezburger, see?
KAFLEEN!!!! KAFLEEN!!! Dont go!!! yoo ar despritlee needed heer! Dunt yoo KNOW that!!!!
Regardlezz ov what happenz, we MUST stik togedder – hau can wee bee happee if sum ov ar deer peeple ar missing???? No fun there! We need yoo!!!! Laik we need ayre to breethe!!
Wut SHEE said! U hab gibben mee sew many laffs wen ai despritly needed dem–u kno CC gibbed uss laffter too halp uss kope—liek wen ai fot mah hubby wuz dyin. (Hee’s mush betteh, now, BTW; fanks 4 teh praiers.) Leen on uss 4 a liddle whyle. Lett uss halp u teh wai u’ve halped uss, okay?
Doan leev, Kafleen; yuu hasta staye adn halp awl ov us to maike muches funee adn hav moar funses. Srsly. Us needes yu!
Pre-historik fingernale klippers.
(||0|) X 5
Rodney – I LOVE yur burgerz. Is it OK if ai uze them too? Since curruntlee no can has cheezburger? But tehy ar yurs. so ai needd yur blessing furs. . .nawt second, ai meen.
An ai am also gonna jump in heer rite at teh taupe fur a liddle shout our. We ar mssing sum important peeps – purrhaps tehy mite heer frum up heer.
Tehy hav nawt bin hurd frum in som tiem – an ai, fur wun, misses teem. paws4thot, annieluvsprintie, leaf, darrkwolff, sangrail, Gayla34, typingisnotactivism, Princess Mu, jules. . .
Shuddn’t hav triaied this wiffout a list – menee moar. JUst becuz ai dint menshun yoo bai nayme – yoo know hoo yoo ar!!! Pleez know taht yoo ar missed!!!
YIkes!!! SJ!!! AiI just NOO we shudda traied to fit Phillipe sumhow into taht carryawn luggage! SJ – Ambercat an ai an ebreebuddee else ar mssing yoo a lot!
Pore liddle Ambercat iz just a wisp ov hur former self – so pining an yurning is she fur anddoer discusshun ov grin fuzzee nikers. Ai, alas, am nawt yet a wisp – but pining ai ar!
Mee too!!!
Plz tew cum bak S.J.
Plz cum bak awl Cheezfrenz hoo am M.I.A!!!
An luk!!! Heer iz Tidmum, awl wispee an pail – also pining!!!
Go ahead and use the (||0|)’s, I didn’t invent them, but I found them as
(|0|) and added the ‘cheese’.
I suppose you could add lettuce too [green stuff] as (|$0|), but that would be a bit much.
|{0| (burger wif termater…)
|:0| (burger wif unyon…)
||0|;;; (fries wif dat?…)
*clappin floofy paws tewgedder*!!!!!!
~(||0|) steemin hawt -offf-teh grill chz brgr.
~(|X|0|) bacon (two strips) cheezburger
I think the parens are needed
(| = top bun
|) = bottom bun
0 = burger
i can has no carb diyet?
(hehe – thanks r.d.!)
Sooo, iffn ai unnerstan:
(|0|) — plain burger
(|{0|) — wif termater
(|:0|) — wif unyun
(|$0|) — wif lettus
(||0|) — wif cheez
(|{$:|0|) — wif eberting
Wer iz Dagwud? Wee needz n expurt 2 halp deel wif sutsh thik burgurz
~(s|0|) steemin hawt -offff-teh grill wif saurkraut (fer Dagwud)
LOLOLOL!!! Yoo guize!! Best buncha burgerz EBER!!!!
Janet…mebbe they are havin teh same prollems I had wif teh *dirty wurd* IE….it gottid to where it wuz almoas impossibibble to play hear…at hoam my IE wurked fine, but at wurk it jus wassn’t wurf teh hassil…jus sayin..
ai been MIA – werking on mai liddle plai. It has opened at teh new theater last nite!
http://www.marktwainsblues.com
YAYAYAYAY!!! I thot it wuz just taht yoo were reelee reelee bizzy!
wull, yeah – wif mai *rillygudyushudawlgoseeit* liddle plai…
dis is so tacky. I yam ashamed. But I am geographically enabled, culturally predisposed, and literarily inclined to go see yer play but I unfortunately am financially constrained. We has alreddy spent much of our entertainment budget on Met Opera tickets and while $40 each for tickets is not much compared to to most other Theater experiences, particularly in Manhattan, is there any Lol or cheezfrens incentive plan? There is another Mark Twain play running this season, I think itz On Bway and nawt a musical, any relation between them other than coincidence?
yah – iz just a coinkydink.
*whispurrs*
werd on teh street is tehy will paper teh howse this week an erly nekst, bcawse we had so liddle tyme to advertise between wen we closed at teh first theater and opened at teh DR2…maybe give TDF a call?
Cheezfren, nebbur, nebbur feel tacky an shamed fur bein finanshullee cunstrayned.
Dat is nebbur a gage ub a man’s wurf.
U sed it!
Ai know – COL – ai just spent a terribul week where ai cudn’t soo enething wif a lappy top and just IE!! Cudn’t doo enething but luk, an nawt much eben then. Tooo SLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
An ai wudn’t fur teh whirrled hav it taht yoo cudn’t bee heer. Ai just hope they can finc a solooshun taht can maek awl ov us happee!
*directs sudan chare barers tew slow the frantic pace and stop near Janet*
*steps from chare, opens arms tew Janet*
kum gives us a smoo darling! Ahm sorri ah have neglected u lately!
I brought presents frum abroad tho, purrhaps den joo cin furgibe me?
Lusois silks in deep greens and purples fur Janet…
a box ov amber and silvur fur Romeow…
new donkey shooes fur kafleen…
eggsotik vucan moosikal instruments fur tribble an mary o…
a diamond studded collar fur cookies human…
eggsotik spices fur teho an stend…
special belli fur lubricint fir woodchuck… ( tew help wiff bellyslyde injurys incurred thru friction )
ambur pendants fur IBK…
low healed silk shoes fur LCB…
( if i left you off this list, please let mi no an ah will open up the other gift trunk and find urs)
*asks bearers tew set up picnic and tents here in da medow*
*Passes out martinis and starts the first round of apitizers on the wai around the crowd*
{(IRL) my roomate and I are buying a house and that is what is keeping me so busy.
}
oooooooooh-shinee and muzical….fanks!
ur welkum!
an – what a troolee spektacular entrance. Ai cud nawt pawsiblee hav stajed it bedder maiself!
An how awn URTH did yoo know taht ai luvz teh silks in deep greens an purplez??
An what a plaice fur a picnic. Teh best ov awl. Ai hav alreddee let awl mai kittehs out an wee had a reelee good romp. Wuz so gud to see tehm again!
Do yoo know teh eggsakt lokahsun ov teh beginning ov teh Meadow? Ai’m going to start bringing these historical eventz forward so awl ar noo frenz can see this too!
{{{{{{Princess Mu}}}}}} Oops – ai nokked yur sweeet liddl crown a liddle kruked. *straighten, straighten* There – awl purtee again.
Now – if ai can just get teh odders to cum too!!!!
(ai understand about teh house – sounds grate – but still – yoo were missed!!)
I has a new shooes?
*looks down at shooes wiff pleshur*
Wai, tank u, frend! How thotty ub u!
Oh mah Princess!!!
U’ve cum bak to us! U didn’t reeeeely hab to bring us pwesents, but I’z in lub wif mah box ov amber and silver. So byootiful!
Fank yew fur teh martoonee and teh nom noms. Nofing iz quite az byootiful az a dai in teh Princess Mu Meadow, ware teh bridge reeches teh earff.
*bows to Princess*
Awwww, Mu, tanks so mush!
Mai belli fur has neber felt so……
.
.
lubricated!
Glad to have you back!
u r all verry welcome! thanks fur comming tew da picknik
Ooh, I see it too! I used a @ butt I like urs, too, rodney!
Tenacity… I haz it
drillgecko will nom you, and all cosigners on your delinquent policy
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/02/17/drillcat-will-kill-your-family/
Wonder how he managz to carry his fud home…
HeHeHe…taik-owt, Ur dooin itz rong!
In Soviet Russia fud carries you out.
We habs 2 anoles heer an every few weeks one ob dem decides to stop eetin. Sos I has ta grab dem an kinda forcefeeds dem sum babbehfood to get them going agin. Usually takes a few days of catchin dem and stuff…I tink dey jus get mad at me picken dem up so dey decide to eets dere regoolar fud. Anywys..da male (Phil) is feisty an last time i picked him up, he tries dis moove (like in pic)on meh!! “Phil, I r not fud!!”
drillgecko will nom you, and all cosigners on your delinquent policy
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/02/17/drillcat-will-kill-your-family/
(see if it posts this time – drill gecko ate it last time. and where the heck are the burgers?)
*dey R changin da commintz sekshun, tyin to spped up fingz.
C note in “newz frum” box, 2 da rite of postie pik.*
s.t.e.n.d. Gud hevens – waht ar yoo dooing up so urlee.
But since yoo ar – plz go up an tell teh deer burgerz taht yoo, too (laik me – feels AAWFUL wiffout teh burgers – cant tell if eneewun eben knowz ai heer!!) want teh burgerz bak
*sniff* Teh pages – they luk so bare an . . .nawt prittee!
Kafleen sed yestiddy dat she caint go on widdout the Cheezburgrs so she gonna run fahr fahr awaey were the Lolcats will neber find her.
Dats soo sad.
Pleez cum bak Kafleen.
.
*Liddle Donkee*
*Liddle Donkee*
*In yaw Lonlee playce*
*Cum bak an joyn us*
*Liddle Donkee*
*An put teh smiles upon owr fayce*
*hollers lowdly across teh innertoobs*
Kafleen! Ar yoo owt ther! Plz to cum bak an hang wit yor cheez-frenz! Kthx!
I lures yoo bak wit sum hand-mayd burgers, curtesy uv Rodney’s inspirayshun:
(||0|) X 5
Waht iz dis??? Kafleen has runned away??? Kafleen….yu git bak hear rite naow, liddle girl! Doan make me kum lookin four yu!! I noe we all misses teh burgerz….but remmemmer dat Cheez an Tofu et al are always workin on teh teknickle stuffs…have faith!!! Dey will return teh burgerz somehow…
{{{{{{{my friends}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Thank you, all. I posted on that Coldplay thread again. Please go read. I should not have said that; it was careless and I try very hard not to be careless
with what I say on here to my friends.
(|{0|) xelebenty
I noms u! I noms u! O hai, heh, heh. Tawt u wuz a fly. Nebber mind, scuze me, khtxbai.
(||0|) (||0|) (||0|) (||0|) (||0|) for u!
Ai seez a bryte fyuchur 4 u, Shanmao! LOL!!
Ai lurvz teh “O Hai, heh, heh”
Just fivteen minits. Jus give me fivteen minits an ay can save yoo fivteen prcnt!!
LOL!!!
Aktuly kinda rminz me uv teh last G-hova Witless dat came 2 mai dor. Fun attix r skeery peeps, srsly.
Tri dis trick necks tyme. Inbite de G-hova Witnessie peeps inta haus. Offer guess fuds. Aks dem tu prey wit yu. Be berry nice an agree wit all dey says. Say bye-bye an cum bak soon, plz.
Dey wont no watt hit dem. Will be berry berry confuded, wont no watt to say er do. Dey are trained to talk de earz offa not-nice peeps, an are not noing watt to du wit otter types.
Dey go away an not cum bak, I betcha. Works fur mii.
“I’m a chickenhawk and yer a chicken”
mebe I shoulda brang sum hep.
I winder if dis liddle lizerd iz humming dat song about the ant and the rubber tree as he noms onna finner?
Himz got Hy hoaps!
“Ai needz a bigur box!”
U haz a flavr
taztez liek chikken
Dinersaur
Dis prollem is well knowd in de herpetology circles – so mush dat dey abbrevi8 the name : PLWL (poke a lizard – wear a lizard.)
nawt too bad at this stage but can become unpleasnt as you move to the progressifly larger repityles: gila monsters, gators, crocks, the occasional annaconda, raptors, godzilla, etc..
SolnEsther – furst – thankz fur ’splaining yur nayme. Ai WUZ curious – but ai am awlwa9z curious!!
But next – ar yoo a herpetologizt? Mai niece Jennifur iz – interesting it iz.
Noap, I had a herpatologist housemate when I wus fresh outta school who used up one of the two tubs inna house fulla hippies fer his gator, but I’se essentially ambivalunt about cold blooded invertebrates.
not good for snorgles, fer me at leese.
wut is geico? i iz frum engurland
Geico Am Ghekko- a type ob leezard.
.
Ohai Robin,
ai r frum TeeneeTineeIngerland tew
Welkum tew ICHC
Dis a wunnerful playce tew bee.
Awl teh Cheezfrenz am wunnerful peeps.
Heer hab a hawt chokklit,a sawft blankee an a possum shayped chokklit.
Get cumfee an enjoy teh fun.
Wen ai wuz a liddle kitteh ai can live in Singapore.
We hadz deez leezardz cawlled ‘Chit Chats’ ober der.
Demz runned up an down teh wallz an awl ober teh ceelins.Berree cyoot.
Geico is an insurance company that has adverts featuring an animated gecco. Geico-gecco clever huh? They prolly paid sum madison ave nonnutz many moneys fer tinking up dat one. BTW the Geico gecco has an English accent and uses odd pgrases such as “win yer relaxing wif yer mates”. Us silly murkins tink more highly of almost anyfin wif a British accent.
Ooh, ai lerned sumfin new.
Teh leezard ai noes abowt-but nawt teh Int Sur Ants cumpnee.
Berree clebber markiting ploy.
twoo, wut in the wurld cud be more cute and snorgely den a lizard?
A Kitteh ob corse!!
I awta git inna habit of usi a smile face fer ahm bean facetious, wut would work, praps a wink?
Hee hee!
Ai r bit slow on teh uptayke tewdai.
The Geico gecco sort talks LOLspeek wid his English accent. In a recent add he was gonna be dining wid da Queen and wasn’t certain where. He sed (and dis actually how it souns, nawt me LOLing it) “in de castle or in the palace. Eever way, yer gettin filet mignon”
HeeHee!!
.
Ai kin jess pikshure Her Maj sitin awl Regal lyke at teh tayble hosting din dins
fur a leezard gesst!! Hahah!
.
Ai can nas Filet mignon plz? Nom nom nom……..
ihart teh gecco!
i laffz wen i ceez teh catmershallz on teh toob (nawt intertube).. lurvz akscent 2!
souns awlmos, cackenee? (i nawt espurt dough).
ai thot it wuz a horstraylerian akksent…
me, tooo…but onlee the lizzard noes fur shur!
No, No, not English akksent, Oztralian. Many fabous Ozzie aktors hab been vois of Gekko.
the geko has had bof. way bak win he had a posh English aksint IIRC.
http://www.geico.com/about/corporate/word-from-sponsor/
OK, so ahfter mennee minits ob reece urge awn yutoob an wikkipeedya Ai can stayt, cattygorikly taht teh orijinul voyse ob teh gecko awn teh geico ads wus a posh Brit aksent an teh current voyse is a Lunnon aksent – teh aktor is Jake Wood hoo plais Max Branning in teh Brit sope “Eastenders”, set in Eest Lunnon.
Sum Oz aksents sown allot lyk teh Lunnon aksent as a reult ob Britin yusin Oz as an openayr prison, bak in teh ayteenf sentry (afteh we gat kikked owt ob Merkah, so cudnt send owr conviks tehre enneemore!)
Tihs has bin a pubik serbiss annoncemunt, awn behaf ob Pedants Anonnymouse. Ai nao retern yu to yur reglar LOLs
Yay!!! Ambercat. LOL!! Gud job. Soooo menee roomers. an now we – haz yet anudder knolj wif wich we can astonish ar frenz!!!
{{{{Ambercat}}}}
Geico is an insurance company. Their advertisements on TV use a talking lizard, supposedly a Ghecko, as a spokesperson.
Awlso teh Geico Gecco iys sumtiems “Salesman of the Month”, iyn wich cayse hims getz teh speshul prefurred paurkyng spaut, reserbed ownly fur teh Hi Cloasers.
GG haz a snazzy lil redd cumvirtibull caur, mebbee bout teh syze ov a Barbie caur, wich hims paurkes iyn tihs spaut ,jes liek teh ‘Byg Cheezes’ duz.
(Wye nawt, Ai figgers, hims deserbs iyt).
ow ow datz berry clevur! an fanks for the welcomz
i love dana
Mr. Mojo Risin’
Jim Morrison ref FTW!
(||0|) X 5
I just saw a red fox cross throu my back yard! How exciting! Wut a dilema, the fawx is pretty and I likes the extra divercity but then iffen he lingers he’ll be nomming on muh birds an skwrils an chippymonks, whon I also likes. And its a red fox nawt an American Grey fox. The red fawkses are invasives, thye were brot here inna daze of yore because people wanted to have fawks hunts and the american grey fawkses refused to party.
Not wantin to offend Tidmum and Robin and othr cheezfrens from TTI but while many there are making lowd angry noises about the invasive American grey skwirl driving out the native British red skwirl, you don’t mush hear any Murkins bemoan the British red fawkses doin the same to our native grey fawkses. An Done git me started on Starlings!
end of rant (unlest sumone gits me started on starling), praps I awta pour a liddle medicashuns into muh coffee here.
How bowt Crayfish?………………
……………………….*Tidmum runs up teh rowd in a clowd ob dust laffin!!*
.
Seryuss nao,
Ai noes whut yew sayin,awl dees fings wuz cawsed bai long tyme ago peepz hoo
diddnt reely noe whut a catastoffic effekt it wud hab on teh ecologee systems
mudder nature strove hard tew mayke.
Awl animulz had demz rite place inna whirld.But peepz wuz iggerant bowt teh Cawse/effect sityooayshun.
Dunt reely noe whut tew doo cuz innocent critturz will be hurted an dat maykes me hab teh Big Sad.
der is recently publish book dat Ise luking ferwerd to gittin fum muh libary about what would happen if all hoomins were suddenly gone and how the erf would recover and how long it would take.
Whuts it cawlled?
Dat sowns lyke interestin reedins.
Ai kin git mah Libree tew order it in fur me.
I wud like to reed dat buk too….I heard wunce dat teh stoopy hoomins could be wiped owt an teh earth wud recubber berry nicely wifouwt us!
Mudder nature keep trine to thin the herd of hoomins, which would be good for the breed, but stoopy medical profession so hell bent on keeping eveybody alive ferever that the overall effect is dat dey are killing us all.
Not wanna start a new rant but I tink dat hoomins were only meant to live long enuff to make sure dat dere offspring made it to child bearing age. For thousands and thousands of years it was unlikely dat people wood outlive their teefs but now teefs last for 40 or 50 more years den designed for. Pipple never inteded to survive long enough to become a burden to the society but now anyone (including me) can do it. Nature keeps throwin new diseases out der to correct the prollem but docs keep finding a way to foil the natural plan. I N O if ders a fix.
Well dats depressing, time fer sum meditations
* I assumes – erf – lotus position -ouch- OK*
* first mutra … and noah mantra*
Fuzzy kitteh…fuzzy kitteh…fuzzy kitteh…fuzzy kitteh…
Hai, maybe dis anzer too late in thred–But book is “The World Without Us” by Alan Weisman. Iz very interestin’. (Lolspeak off.) The author was encouraged to write the book when he wrote an article about the recovery of the environment around Chernobyl after all the people were evacuated.
Dat iz all.
Thankyu Tucatsu! Many burgers fer you. Das one ob the reason I love Cheezpeeps, dey know allh stuff dat I has forgotted and many bunches more.n
Hai again, SolnEsther. Hoep yoo com bak heer. The more you speek, the moar interesting yoo become.
Can yoo pleez tell mee sumthing about yurself? Ai wud luv to know!
EERRGGG I canna remmemers the title. Poop!
wuzzn’t there a similar sityooashun with teh sparrows running owt teh bloobirds?
ai saw a bloobird an mai yard last week, it wuz SO pretteh!!
bluebyrds is making a comeback, makes me happy.
we hab teh sayme prollum heer wib teh grey skwirlols.Dem haz almos wyped owt teh native Red skwirlols.
Ai lubz awl deez aminals -it am sew hard tew noe whut way am best tew deel wib it. It am a dilemma.
Teh Grey skwirlols in mai gardin gib me mennee owrz ob enjoyment watchin demz antiks-but ai noe dem am nawt desyrable tew moast peeps.
Wun bold meladdo sits awn mai shed roof an chikkers awai tew me.
Yeerz ago ai libbed moar owt inna countrysyde. Teh rezident skwirlol yoosed tew cum in mai kitchen fur a biskitt!!
Godlolzilla – teh erlee yeers.
Cheezburger cheezburger cheezburger cheezburger cheezburger
no coke, pepsi
SNL ref FTW!
No fries, chips
Geico insurance is the best. If someone wrecks your car they send out little geckos to eat their pointer finger.
Oh, you think the English are all polite and reserved? You need to go back and watch Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Geckos.
polite an reserved? I’d enjoy watching a rumble between the fans of the Noo Yawk Jets and the Manchester United Futball fans. Hoods vs hooligans. I fink the reserved English would kick sum ass, unless it was a promotion day at the stadium in the meadowlands, you know like they has a Yankee stadium :Handgun day or Blunt Object day.
taht isn’t exactly NOM NOM NOM
moar like nom nom nom
Im on ur finger, hangin on 4 my lief.
test
PASD!
dangit, buy mai inchurenc alreedy. nom nom nom
ah werks at teh geico. dis mayks me happee!!!