LOLCAT Seeds
r yoo tryin 2 gro dis raer kitteh vine?
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Davex
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old lurker on Ollie had the worst parrothead on Ollie had the worst old lurker on Ollie had the worst annipuss on Ollie had the worst kafleenthedonkey on Ollie had the worst kafleenthedonkey on Ollie had the worst ladymonde on Ollie had the worst parrothead on Ollie had the worst kafleenthedonkey on Ollie had the worst hess46 on Classics: now with favorite… parrothead on Ollie had the worst kafleenthedonkey on Ollie had the worst kafleenthedonkey on Ollie had the worst ladymonde on Ollie had the worst ladymonde on Ollie had the worst
I buy several packages of this seed!
Even though they’ll eat the weeds the grow around them (but throw it up inside the house) my huzband will object to new garden of kitties.
tale him dat day hepl teh telebishun gets moar channels. fink dat’ll werk?
Ackshually, yes. I’ll tell him dese be kitteh antenna plants. Improve TV recepshun. Won’t mention that all shows will be about kittehs.
When I first married my husband, I had a very handsome, very protektive orange cat who would lay on top of the television, stare at my huzband, and then deliberately knock sumthing off onto the floor. Everyday this happened. I told my huzband this was kitteh’s way of showing kontempt for new male in da house (jealous kitteh also made it a point to toss up food in front of hubby) IThat wuz a great cat. He grew old and died. I miss him alot, even now, years later).
yer husband, nawt so much. (missing the cat, dat is)
heh.
my mom had a very similar tale of the cat she had when she married my dad. he would sit on the tv and hang his head upside down while my dad read the paper. he would just stare at him until my dad felt it and lowered the paper, yelling, “Sharon! that damned cat is looking at me again!” and then, if my dad did something to make my mom upset, the cat would find my dad’s clean laundry and pee on it. he was a good cat. also an orangey one. maybe they’re just poysin to new husbands.
My friend Scott had a boy-cat that just *LOVED* Karen, his wife. He’d sit with her on the couch, nuzzling her hair and neck, kneading on her chest…. Scott would walk in and yell HEY THAT’S **MY** WIFE!!!! and the cat would hiss at him and stomp off, but the second Scott was out of the room, the cat would be all softfuzzywarm in Karen’s lap again.
concatmewlashuns!
Mai congratchs too, CH! We singz a lullaby and rokks teh kitteh seeds brry berry genltly for danzunsong?
And whut about some of yur famous choklate cake?
And I hazn’t seen voting burgers since the day before yesterday! Annyone else lose them too?
day is spearminting onus. clik on teh “we want yur feedbag” under “News frum..”
adn it shud gib teh info. If dare’s no bloo linkee dere, wait til it lodes up, sumtimes it gits splinched in apparating.
how aboutz teeny tiny chawklit cooikie bytez? So apr….paprrop…pitaro….fitting for teh teeny tiny babehz!
An teh burgerz iz gone so itz suppozed to lode faster. Not werkin here…..
dis comment spozed to go up under CH askin fer choklit caek….
Teeny liddle thumb- er, pawprint kukiez, NEwun?
ceptin fer ai alsew misses teh burgurz…….ai LUFFFZZZ how fast iz loading noaw……maekz it a pleashure sted ov a pane ……..ai had almoss gibbed up tryin to joyn in teh fun wifff teh commentz……took teh furrebber an den sum to laod an liek dat…….
sum wun sed foxfire donut takez teh lawong tyme to load …izzis troo ???? how u getz foxfire ????? (jest incase teh slowloadin burgurz cum bak…..)
Yeah CH, where’s dah beef?!?@! I thot my compooter was just xtra slow loading or sumthin.
As much as I loves da little orange kitteh, I likes the tiger-stripe inserts on the head of da top middle kitteh.
Racing strypes! Maybee nawt now, but sooon….
Ai fink dey luk lyke weengs ob teh anguls.
Yup, I yam gonna try an raise up a crop a kittehs agin dis year. I tried last year but it dint werk owt so gud, I N O wut went wrong, maybes I water too much or maybes I plant dem too deep.
prolly planet dem tew close to da dogwud.
Dat could be, Thx fer the tip MO’S. Shuld I plan on a companion plantin of Cat-snip?
hmmmmmm. mebee. but the kittehz could become invasive…
dat wud nawt be gud, muy neighbur downna rowwed had sum invasive kittehs and it was mudder getting control ob dem, and the non stop caterwaulin really innerupted his sleep.
Oh, SolnEsther, dat’s an OOOOOOwld joak!
Hee hee hee!
Still phunny doe. An N E Wayz, Ise an old guy
Nawt TAHT owld. Ai bee 51, an hubby’s 55—ai lern awl mah owld joaks frum him. Hee sings Barbershop, and Barbershoppers oanly kno owld joaks. Juss ask um. Tehy’ll tell yew.
yu shuld trai rayseen dem in mai owld condo yard. seemz lyke wii got a fresh krop ebery spreeng!
Pussywillows?
cattails?
… soft winds and roses ♫
Beautiful song by Gordon Lightfoot:
http://www.last.fm/music/Gordon+Lightfoot/_/Pussywillows,+Cat-tails
Ah… Ahhh… Ahhhhhh…
*SPLORRRT!*
Qnza! Fergotted mai CHRG todai!
Maus, i iz in your boat, kan we hepl eech odder scoop an tukk?
hmmmmm. wot to dew…
*patterz off to teh stowage areeya were CCC is parked*
“OH NO! the stuffs is still on da cownter frum when we unloaded the CCC to lode up own teh bergers in teh sekrit bruger faktree in teh bakroam ob d’Beaker Labratoreeez!”
Igor, help me get dis stuff bak in teh CCC
*thinks to self- wot is Igor dewin hear?*
*klank chunk thump*
CRASH!!!!
tinkul ….
um, Igor. yew jest broke awl teh botlols of skochwiskey…
no time to waste. doe…
walk tihs way……
“Young Frankenstein” ref! FTW!
A klassik ob itz zhanre.
If Ai cud walk taht wai Ai wudnt need teh talcumpowdeh!
skkrrrrrrreeeeeeek skkkkkkkkkkreeeeeeeeeek skkkkkkkkkreeeeeeeeek
golly, dem wheelz iz teh skweekee on teh CCC.
ben a wile sinz we needededed teh cart.
*rolls teh cart ober to Maus & Z*
.
How are we today?
*branez callin from all ober teh flor* “ooowwwwwwie dat tooo skweekie dat hurtz!” *little peece brane plops ober to janitor’s closet, oodges out teh WD40, brings bak to MaryO an CCC,”pls can u owl tis fer me?”*
‘kay.
*fzzzzt fzzzzt fzzzzzt ff… oops need moar WD40.
I has heard dat spit sumtimes werks.
ware’s LCB- she be gud at teh spittin’.
.
*Rummajez fru da stuff chunked in teh CCC by Igor.*
Teh fumez, er smell, ob the skotchwiske waftz fru de ayer.
*rummaj rummaj*
Oh, noes! dere am not any CHRG’s.
All we gots is lotz ob cheezeburger paper wraperz adn duk tape.
Eny bodee handee wif dat?
Heer.
*Kwik foldz cheezburger papurz intu liddle hatz an ducky-tapes dem*
C if dat helpz. If derz enuff fumez, mebbeh teh suffererz will b kinda groggy, 2.
good ideeya. we can use a few moar ob doze untill we getz restokked.
Oopps I arfull sarwy about teh CHRGs I tooks sum fer the protections from hot pepper erl at the nexks salsa party. Awl brang sum bak rite naow. Oh an I’l brang sum extry duk tape and WD40 too.
We awl knows dat duk tape and WD40 are awl you needs to fix ebbeytimg. If it moves and aint suposed to – Duck tape. If it don’t move and it is supposed to – WD40. Wut elst is there?
scents ob humor meks the otter two werks betta.
I’ll see iffen I kin find one.
find one? but yew awreddy has such a purfeklee good won.
wutz a Qnza or is dat Kilnkon fer sumtin I axually do wanna know?
Speeking ob which, whyd they name brutal Star trek warrior race after they bath oil beads dat my grammy lykked so mush?
Dat’s CALGON, silleh!
hmmm. seamz lik i mite merember Bashir on DS9 saying Worf smelled slitelee of lilaks, so mebbe dere’s a konnekshun dere…
Cood bee..!
“Qnza!” is a cypher for a naughty word. I promised not to use code to you yesterday, but I think this is appropriate. I can use naughty words, and, unless you choose to tranlate it, no one gets offended.
OK, I kin figgur dis owt kwik . . . der are fowr letters so dat should narror it down.
hint- it startz wif a Q.
try dis link…
http://www.faqintosh.com/risorse/en/othutil/webapps/rot13/
Oh mai!
I had to save that to mai favorites in mai “translate this” file next to teh Babelfishie.
Come in handy it will! f.r.
hey, maus- aer yoo still in need ob halp???
i figgered PB2K wuld come alawng to hep sinz you wuz using teh sekrit langwidje dere-
Kittygarden!
Duz dat meen u getz dogwood frum puppehz?
Only if seeing them gets u really eggsited.
Differment kinda wood LCB Youse gotta filfy mynd – I lykes it.
Thx but u cant has mah mind. I needs it to remember stuff, like who put the bomp in teh bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp-bomp.
dat wuz Wolf man Jack. I sed “I Lykes it” – as in I preciates how well it werks (and the filthines potential) not “I’d Lyke it” – as in gimme dat. You can keep it it seems to werk fer you purty good. Anyhow I doesn’t need annudder whole one, just about haff. Too many times I had gibben people a piece ob my mind and now I only has half a mind leff (which obviously hepped me fit in better at Big Brew tords the end).
oh an LCB….wen u getz dat figgureded oawt……..ai been tryin fio figureeded oawt hoo put teh ram in teh ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong…….nowt habing ani lukk….
Mii two. I’d lik to chake hims hand.
Uv korse — yu kan tell by teh bark.
Lookie waht teh Eester bunneh lefted me!! I plantz tehm nao!
Ooohhhh noooooes! Quik wif teh CRGwdoi,,,,,,aaaaaahhhhh…..SPLORT! muh branes is overcom bye teh cyute!
Nooo! Watsh owt! Teh oring one iz poysun! How dat get in tehre?
Deyz nawt poyznus at dat age, I don fink. Der bes defensse b kawnsuntrated kyootness. Hao kud sumfing DAT adorublol b hawrmful? Iz ownlee wen dey getz owlder an sneeky an teh kyoootness wares awf, den mebbeh teh poyzun debellups. U kin bild up teh tawler-ants 2 it, tho; I gots 2 orrinj gurlz in my bunch, an I don hawrdly reakt atawl deze daze.
WANT!!!
Teh cuteness iz *SPLORT*in meh!!
Kayrful ther, Sakee. I haz an extree CHRG (chikken hed rubber glub). Put it on, KWIK!
*hands CHRG to Sakee*
Yew n mee bofe!! Hang awn, maibee ai kin—-Oh, NOOOOO!!!!! SSPPLLOORRTT!
Doan worree altosinger, ai’ll fix yoo up.
*mop mop moppittee deh braynes*
*scoop scoop scoop*
*tukk tukk tukk dem awl bak in*
*RRRIIIIIPPPPPPP awf sum duck taep*
*taep taep taep*
Here, taek dis nys sawft blankee – U liek pael green? *tuk tuk*
N here’s sum hawt chawlit n a chawlit possum for U.
Rest qwietlee nao adn U be alll bedder soon.
Fanks, 4 1/2. Ai kin liv wid payle green. (But purrple iz mah favrit.) Ai takez a nise nap, an feel bedder…ZZzzz
I needs mai CHRG(wd–SSSSPPPPLLLOOOOOOORRRTT!
Oh noes. Too layt. Dr. Tinycat!
eberyfing i ever needed to lern, i lernded in kittygarden.
Ise not so sure MO’S, I has lernt sum perty cool stuf sints den. Sum involved gurls and/or recreational drugz, we’ll leave dat fer anudder tyme. Also lernt how to build a gud treehous, and how to cook gud fuds, and how to fix anyting, and drive and sail and fly and speak frounch … stuff mos kinnergartners caint do.
yesh, but i wuz tawkin about a kitty garden where you wood lern:
Alwayz nap before making any decision
Be shure to stop and nom teh roses
Catz rool, dogz drool
D…
Dig in ur litterbox as if u were excaping from prison
Expect to be admired by all
Frow up in teh most expensive shoos available
Gushifuds are ur natural born rite
Hareblz are only temporary
Insied owt mowsies make reely grate presetz for yr hoomin
Jump on ur hoomin’s hed at 3am
Kill ur kibble befoar eeting it
Lick ur harbls in front of impoartant hoomin companys
Jump on yur hyoomin unexpektededlee wheneber pussibl
Kaek is onlee gud fur kittehs if maed wif mowsees
Lolcats rool, loldogs drule
M…
Mauses R best eeted noysilly at 3am
Nine lives – living tehm awl to teh full!
Orinj wuns is poysin!
Q….
qwyet time onna lap is needez everry dai
run fast when u heer the *click* uf a can being opend
stalking everry bug is gud ecksersize to keep teh kitteh powncing shape!
TV is a waste ob time dat shud be spented on ICHC
Upchuk on new spouses
Vizit teh nayborz offen adn steel dere goggies’ fud
Waytin til yu shut teh dor tehn wantin Owt Owt Owt and tehn waytin til yu shut teh dor agin an wantin In In In
X-rayted ablosshuns in frun ob teh vikker/boss/gnu boy/gurlfren
Yung Nekkid Gy! Nawt had enuff ob hims laytlee!
What ebber kettehs wants, kettehs gets.
Xceeding kootness, I haz it.
Y, yiss, Mai oui!
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz, naptyme.
cept ob course the kinnergartners fum Frants, tehy can talk it pretty gud, mon dieux, dey bedder at it den me.
If I send SASE, can u male me 1 of dem? I promiss 2 taek gud cair uf it. I will taek teh LOLcat Oaf of Office.
Dey haz de cutes lil piggy turn-ed uppity nosez
Itz doze teen liddle eerz getz me. Iz helpless.
Hard…to…tink…in…presunse…of…
SOMUCHTEENYKYOOTNESS!!!
*splort*
Oh noes, Duffy. I just *knew* this wuld happin. I saw those pritteh behbehs! I knew it wuld be a bizzy day.
I halps MaryO wit teh CCC. I mops. *mop mop* I duk tayps teh brayns bak in. *tayp tayp*
Nao, why don’t yoo sit ther kwietly an recuvver a whyl. Heerza sawft blankee an sum choklit fur yoo. *tuks blankee, walks kwietlee away*
*gasp* fanks verreh much, gremlin. Espeshully for teh choklit. That helps coat teh lining of teh hed so I can luk at teh teeny bebehs againnnnn ooh look at teh stripees on teh littul white wuns hed*mmmmphbloorg*
*whew*
Dat wus close.
Whuff! Wuts mmmmmmmmmphbloorg ? Is dems the sounz of PST (pre splort tremors)? I know there is no cure and the CHRG (wdoi) is simply a prohp… profilac… prophylactic (YES!) measure but has yo identified an early warning sign?
Awww, so adorable!
Problum wif kittyseeds is dat yu plant a few and they propa- propperg- grow to be lots more then yu need. Like kewcumburs. Yu end up leevin bags of them on teh naybors portch.
Wonchu be mi naybor?
In teh mid-west, teh wurst izza Zukini! Datz wai u gotz 2 lok yur kar in August (whitch u normullee neber haz 2 du inna smal town), wen teh Zukiniz reelee start komin in, n teh noo gardenurz lurkz arown wif basketz ob Zukiniz, lukin 4 a nunlokt kar!
Ai fot taht wuz in Maine! At leess, taht wut ai red inna Reeders Dyjess.
In KY, itz tomatoes.
Ai wanna b Duffy’s naybor 2! Plz 2 b leavin da kyoot bebeh kittehs 4 me.
kthxbai.
ai dismacobbered bak yeerz ago wen ai hadda veggatamable gardun….dat ifn u DUNT pik teh zukes……( u leeves wun awn teh berry end) an let dat lass wun grow……u stop gettin so miny zeks…..
.
ai almoss growed the Zukkini dat eeted Glen Ellen (whar ai libbed at teh time)
.
was tttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssss
big
Awww teh tiny tiny hittehs!
Abowt fwee uv evree ten groz intu lolz, onlee wun uv wich b frunt payj wurvee. But awl still teh kyoot and snorglee, sew it’z awl gud.
Hey! Teh Eester eggz finly hatched! Kewl!
LOL
Uh-oh, no warning… too mush ob deh cyoot…
SPLORT!!!1!
ooooh, teh teeenie weenie nozez, teh bitty softy ears, teh widdle notopenyet eyez, uh oh, pleh!….splort…ewwwww….but worf it tew see teh bebehs! Terminal Awwwwwwwwww….
How come this picture isn’t tagged as “cute”?
Dese teenee tinee kittehs bees sew kyoot naow, ken yu iymagyne haow doarabul dey wil becum wen tehy ar awl growwed up? Adn der eises nawt eben oapen yett!
Tehy wil be cauze ov Splort-Eppydimic; ebberyware tehy goez, dere gunna hafta bees a CCC paurked roun eaches cournure.
*splort*
Too much cuteness for me… Please help… Cant even speak in lol…
*falls down*
ohnnoooooes! so sry you wuz lefted here.
*takes one ob the cheezbrgrrappersfoldedupintohatwifduktaep*
*putz on mouse’s hed*
*tuktuktuk*
zat betta?
kant offa any skochwiskey, but if yew breeth deeply you kin get teh benefitz ob the fyumes.
*passes a chonklit possum over*
fank you
… You is help saves me aswell… You is know good CRP(Cuteoverload Resuscitation Plan) aswell…
JCH4zillionK is gonna be sadlydisapoynted wen she lerns we let teh CCC run owt ob CHRG(wdoi) – we’d bess maek shor its awl stokked up agin Bfore she coms hoem. Ai vomolunteer to draw teh pikchurs awn teh glubs but amember Ai’s can oenlee draw teh piggee fases and teh ellefunkles form behynd.
An Paws4Thot will go into deep mournin wen he hears/sees/smells teh wisky bokkuls is awl borked!
puttin in mergence cal ta de CCC. Meanwile I’ll hep you MM & 41/2 kittehz.
Furst de moppity mop mop. Naoz de tuckity tuck tuck, Zen de tapity taype taype. Iz al gud nao? Herez mi softez blankies one fur each uf u an a lil bit of de hot choclit wit Kalua. Sip eazee. Relax….Huming quitly. It’s all rite nao babiez itz al rite nao.
O fank U, fank U London. Deh hot chawlit n deh quite song R bery soofing. Ai’l juss stai tukked in tihs softee blue blankee fur awyle. Too danjrus to lukkit N E moar kittehs juss yet.
*nods jentlee to song wyle holding MM’s hand*
It’s dangerous to go alone.
Take these.
tank youz so mush london, canz ai haff teh hot chawklit wit no kahlua? we no does teh alkyholl in tihs haus. sipz, sighs, adjusts softy blankit..dropz off to snoozes dreamin uf teh kittyseeds…zzzzzz
Poor ze Mouse. I’ll rescu u. Mus sitz up. eazy nao. pillow on each sid fur da suport. Scoopity scoop scoop….tuckity tuck tuk…..taypity taype tap. soft blankee in ur han wif som choclity milkz fur de tummy. Best nawt ta luk at de cutness fer a whil.
London fanks for da support pillows I finks I needs dem…. If nots fo you I iz not no what happenz… You be goodz at CRP.. (Cuteoverload Resuscitation Plan)… Moar peoples be needin to train in CRP to dealz with all the splortz….
mebbee we needz a small, well twained reserve CORPS -Cute Overload Resucitashun Plan Servicepeeps.
But make shure day stay on ICHC sew we can haz dem & dere kwipmint in case ob acute mergensee, and not get sented sumware else unless dere is a cleer adn present danger of a cute attak sumware elz in teh whirled.
or praps B.O.R.K.E.D Brain Overload Repair – Kitteh Emergentsee Depawtment? >
The KED (Kitteh Emergentsee Dept could be in charge of always carrying can openers, and hepping qats out of trees and repairing damage to stomped invisible cities and providing safe island to jump to when the floors turn to lava. I sujest we put that brown qat in charge. (Heh Heh – gud job Browney)
or better – ‘hekkuva job Browny’
well, shure, if you putted a choklatey brownie type fud in charge, gord hed. the chonklitty brownie fud wud dew a hekufa betta job dan dat maroon human Browniee.
…but doan git me started.
it is, aftah awl, water under the GNO brdge.
MuggleMary….Gud ta no….whispps whips owt de Kalua. I put in Luvs insted liek we do en mi howse. Eberyting maid wif luv…Heps da healing processors too.
I tink we has record numba of splorts this mornin!!
Ai fink u be rite!
I fink so, espeshuly sins we endin up witth multi-splort pashunts hu cant stop lookin at teh handful or teenee soff itsy bitsy pinkynose jusborn oohnoooooo-
*splort*
Twice in wun lol Duffy?? Ohh… we needz more duk tape… and doez ennywun has sum gorillol gloo? Maybee that will keep things in bettur!
….and brot 4th dey shall bring much joi & hapi….we will keep seedz warm. and feed dem …and they shall grow 2 becum….LOLCATS.
ill gro tem…teh rare kitteh tree u sai?
We plow the fields and scatter the lolcats near and far
But they is fed and watered by Ceiling Cat’s good pawr
OMG — or purrhaps OMCeilingCat — u rilly don’t heer enuff “Godspell” these dayz.
Befoar it wuz inna Godspell, it wuz a hymn frum TeenyTinyIngerland! Butt ai liek teh toon frum Godspell betteh.
Hoo knew? Wif cheezfrenz u learn sumthing new every day! I feel smarter now . . . but still haz an earwurm!
Ai jes luubs yur vershun ov tihs pome!!
Dis iz PURRFECKT 4 mi! Ai can has dem to plant 4 purty gardin dis yeer. PLUS, dey wood b da purrfeckt way 2 begin mai jurnee 2 b-comin da crazee old ladee wif all da kittehs!
me too…cept my boyfren sez no mor…sez we hav enuff..
Aww, wut duz hee kno? Hee’s just a man! Hmm. JCSS ref?
gotta lolcatch them all
omg, everything about them is so small!!
jus…
splort.
Kleenup on eyel free! Fech teh mopz & towelz & bukketz! (If U kan get dem awai frum teh lolrus!)
dapanferkitteh, heeerz ur stif drinkee & blankee 2 helpz recuvver, & heerz ur xtra CHRG(wdoi) & duktaep 4 nex tiem.
o mai o mai, 2 much kyoot…
oh ahi dapanferkitteh !!! lawong tyme no sees !!! hopz u iz doing rell guud …..
.
uh oh…ai managededd to noawt splort awl teh way to heer……an been sew lawg dat ai been goed away…..ai forgotted mi CHRG……
.
*splort* oh s*** an diz ruum iz carputted too, extree diffamakult to getz branez oawt ov carputt…
.
oh wellz …waz worff it to see adornabul bebeh kitnz……ai iz jellus ov dose hanz…….ai NEEEDZ
ooops ….ai hitted sumfing too hard an mi comment….jumpeded aowt ov my hanz an onto the paje befor ai cood finush wat ai waz sayin…
.
dint noes puterz can inturrupt !!!
.
aniwai…..az ai waz saying……be4 teh roode cut off by teh puter…..ai NEEDZ to hole liddel bebeh, teeny tiny kitnz in my hanz….haz been wai toooo lowng….
Welcome, tiny baby cats…Nuthin kyooter than sweet pile of softly sleeping floofiness…may they never know a bad day…
Okay, this too much. I is gonna hafta get inoculamated.
I WANT!
“splort”…
I mak LOLCATSEEDS puter wallpaper.
owwwwwww!
~VOW
You made my day!
Cuteness overload… Must… Look… Away…
HarHar good stuffs
O so kyoot