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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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kafleenthedonkey on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! kafleenthedonkey on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Kiya on Dis iz as far owt of bed caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… HistoryMaker on I iz in ur space-time continuu… caramelchef81 on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! Grantski on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… PootyTat on I iz in ur space-time continuu… PootyTat on I iz in ur space-time continuu… mamarosa on I iz in ur space-time continuu…
Lookin fur tyger snakk
Snakk? dat was called “teh caddie”.
Caddie snak – wusn’t taht a fillum?
n-e-buddy seen Larry lately?
Plz to be staying outta outtaboundz!!
Dis must be teh # 1 handicap hole. Suddenly stroke n distanse dont sound so bad, Ise going back to de Tee.
Tiger always plays his best from the rough.
Har! Poor larry, he ruint our round ob golf. lotsa extra werk, hit the ball – drag wuts left of Larry, make yer approach shot – drag . . .
Oh, dat gawt me. ROFL. Cawfee on teh cawmputr skreen.
But, won teh tiger still b chawmpin awn Larry? Doan wants 2 drag him if tigerz not dun yet!
How much middleaged overweight white guy in plaid pants do you fink a tiger can nom? Iffen stoopy tigger could have eaten more, den draggin wutz left wooden be so tuff.
Jest How mush middleaged overweight white guy on plaid pants do you tink a tyger can nom? Tyger mighta schoffed or removed meybe 50 lbs but that leaves over 200 pounds of the fat bastid that I gotta lug around. I could have left the carcase inna sand trap where the tigger buried it but we carpooled and Larry drove. I needs the keys
Next time I play dis course I’m springing fer the cart. Walking is just out.
ooh, i’z laffin so hard it hurtz…
congrashumalashuns, missy, on nawt-secund position. teh cello-brashuns can begin!!
Can we dans dans dans tew “The Lyun Sleeps Tewnite”? A-weem-a-wep, a-weem-a-wep…..
a-weem-a-wep …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyjq9RJ-_yM
heers a prettyer vershun, nise pikshurrs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn2h4g4vRo0
cue teh Taxonomy Troll, in 3, 2, 1 ….
Lyuns, tygurs, an bares….oh mai!
yoor just teezing them, r’nt you?
*cmon peeple, that’s nawt a reel bear, it’s an obvious fake, fotoshoppeded and frum DizneeWhirld, n-e-wun cud see taht ….*
Hao can tihs pawsibly TigerWoods, teh glofer?! R yu peeple stoopy oar sumfink?! TigerWoods is mush taller. An has braon iys. An tehre’s no sine ob ennee gulf clobs. Sheesh!
*snerk*
Welll, peeple chnaj. Fink Maikul Jaxin.
How u kno dis Tiger nawt hav braon iys? Did u get clos enuf 2 luk?
OK – Iz taek yur wurd 4 it. Iz nawt goin 2 luk miself.
Shur, wai nawt…
*putz awn mask*
DON U PEEPUL KNO NUTTIN!!
DAT R A TYGUR!!
WUT R U DOOIN SINGING “LYUN SLEEPZ TONIGHT…”!!??!!
*taakz mask orf n trowz it far awaa*
Dat wuz kinda fun. Eberybodee awta trai it ebery now n den.
Snurt! That’s exactlee wutt I thot, too!
Nice Nawt Sekund!
If a Tyger Rawrs in deh Woodz, Dus ne one hear him?
pends hao lowd he rawrs!
O hai, I fownd ur golf ball, but I eeted it.
Excellent!!!!!
oh hi. i fund golf ball. tasted like chikin.
Annuddur GMTA!
oh hai. i fownd goff ball plaiyr. tasted liek chikin.
Yew wont yur gulf bal bak?
Com an get it.
ai duzzn’t play teh golf, but isn’t this wut they calls a “hazard”? jst askin.
i “Woods” knot wury bout teh sand trap on discourse
Sand trap? Or beeg litter boxz?
Uh, er, those aren’t golf balls in that sand.
Ewww. Obvyusly, Larry teh Caddie gawt et b4 he skoopt owt teh kitteh bawks. Oar mayb caws de dint.
The tyger put wuts left of Larry In der litter bawx.
O I FAWT dat luked laik sumwunz hed.
Wait. U meen Larry haz moar flavr den goff bawlz? Dis is Larry weer tawkin abut! Tiger muss b desprit.
I dunt sees enee goff klubs.
yew mean toofpicks, don’t you?
Golf cubs?
oh gawd, da punz!
Himz soooo prittee! I wanting a snorgul. Let me putting on mai chayn male suit nawt-sekkund. Duz deh tygrrr haz deh ipod? I needz 2 b putting on deh calming music 4 him so he can b relaxing. Not wanting himz all exsighted.
If u can getting clos enuf to rub hims bellee, taht shud dooit!
yu’ll need teh ree-inn-forsed snorgle snorkle too
Ai haf red akkowntz ob peepz snorgling teh big big kittehz liek tihs, hearing n feeling demz puuurrrrrring, or ai shud say PUUURRRRRING, n tehy deskrybd it as, well, indescrybabul, it wuz teh so much awesum. Pikshurz abaalabul awn rekwest.
Tygerz no can purr. Mayke lotz of grumbly-happy noyzez tho. Tygerz “ouff-ff-ff” to sai hello. (They blowz in ur fayces.) Coogarz biggest kittehs can has purrz. (But kantz roawrz.) Coogarz has GREAT purrz.
Ohai Dana,
Naow, that is wut I calls infermashun we is nawt likely to get jest n-e-weres. ICHC is sooooo educamashunul. Thnx!!
.
ps — pls ufff-fff-ffff to yer tiger frenz frum us.
It myte b a bit absolutist 2 saa taht tigerz do nawt purr. Tehy maa nawt maak a “true purr” wif teh vybrashunz kontinyoouslee wyle breefing in n owt, but teh resent artikul (Peters, G. Purring and similar vocalizations in mammals. Mammal Review, v32, Dec. 2002: 245-271.) sed taht tehy maak a “purr-lyke sownd” wen breefing owt, whitch iz prolly wut teh folkz wuz heering n feeling.
Ai didunt tink taht teh folkz wryting abowt teh awesum tiger purr were maaking it up.
many tnks fer teh reference, wich we will add to teh librry at d’Beaker Laboratories. pending its arrival, do yew know if it mentions purring in the binturong? they is int viverridae, along wif teh meerkats and mongooses (mongeeses too). i wunce herd one purr, or it sounded like it to me.
ummmmm, Prof. d’Beaker, duz you meen teh arribal ob the librrry oar the arribal ob teh buk is pending?
‘cuz, golly, i shure wud like to be dere wen a whole liberrrry arrives…
ai wuz referrin (in a sortuv ambiguous sentence, ai must admit) to teh arribal of the article. yew might wanna think 2wice about being dere if it was teh hole liberrrry arrives, bcoz probbbly the arribal wud be supervised by Igor. him has 10-dancy to be a little loose wif things like OSSHA, hardhats, dropping big bildings frum a haight, and sow on.
‘kay, wink wink if yew say sew.
i betz yew reely getin a hole liberry ob sine tifical buks wif weerd spearmints adn plotz fer teh whirled dominashun. oar mebee jest bawkses ob skochwiskey in buk boxes. oar bof- a lethal cominashun.
pssst….
yew shudn’t noes about taht stuff. watch aowt if you is followed home by black unmarked SUV wif tinted windows an no license plates …. down’t say we didunt warns yew.
*duznt hear a fing*
♫blinded me wif science, science, science♫
Well, ok too. All I knowz iz that mai tygerz (17 of them) are wai happy kids and I’ve never herd one do the purrz. (In 5 years.) They for sure mayke many diffrent grumbly-yowly-happy soundz, sum soundz lieks growlz but aren’t, lotz of ff-ff-ffing which can soundz very diffrent from kitteh to kitteh. They r veri, veri vocal. (Specially the grrls) Teh coogarz, on teh other pawz, rlly PURR. Liek litty bitty kitteh but loudz.
Cleerly, mor reserch is called for on mai partz. Must snorgle big stripey kittehs untils they purrz. But onlee veri, veri, careful liek. Iz sur teh othr folkz nawt maaking it up.
I will ff-ff-ff all the big kittehs for every1.
To: Dana T
From: Phillipe d’Beaker
BioAcoustics Dibision, d’Beaker Laboratories
.
We looks 4ward to continyood collaborashun on teh Tiger Purring Project (TPP). Wun hypofesis is that teh “purr-like soundz wen breefing out” referred to by Peters (2002) may well be the same as the “grumbly-yowly happy sounds” wif teh “ff-ff-ffing” which yew report.
.
Ai shud add that there is a debate between teh Theoretical Dibishun an teh Fiedl Reshurch Dibision. Theoretical gize wantz to do compyooter simulations and phylogenetic analysis and biomechanical calylashuns to decide if tigers purr. The Field Reshurch gize is wif you — they makes impolite commints about teh theoritishuns and says that the tigerz can decides for themselves if they purrs or not, and that if sumwun wants to disagree wif teh tigurz about that, its toooo bad fur them. They recomminds impirical inbestigashun involving (careful) snorgling.
.
N-e-way, we hopes taht yew will accept a posishun as d’Beaker Laboratories Chief Adjunct Tigerologist fer this impowrtant research project. Teh whirled will be waiting wif baited brefs for your reports.
Dis cite sur am bery edumacashunal in adit… addti… an teh funneh too! N cheezpeeps so nyce adn frendlolee.
Fanks Dana T fur ff-ff-ff-ing teh strypee kittehs fur us!
Dana, I iz soooo jelus uv u 2 b snorgling teh tygrrz.
Dew b careful. I loening u mai chayn male armer.
Adn plz 2 b taking the reein4sed snorgle snorkle.
Also 2 b taking teh recordifcashun devises 2 recordifyingz uv
teh tyger purringz (oar not purringz) 4 teh post snorgle
data evaluashunz.
Mai mawm wood b so proud! Tank for teh nu title of Cheef Ajjunkt Tigerologist! I wil do mai ver ver best for daBeaker labz. I bet da theer…theritish, um, in da lab gaiz don’t get as durty as I du. (Itz not awl snorgling, ya know. Therez lots of shuvveling tu.
I will ware my nu chayne male armer and my industreeal snorgle snorkle at all tymes. Will get big kittehs on taype! (Or diggital ekwivalint.)
Dose theeror..thereo…um, lab gaiz, don’t knoz whats thei yakking bout!
I knot bate mai breffs. I alreddy bate enuff. :^)
could be sed dat teh theeretishunz shovelz *ahem* exkrementz, two , just teh theeeretikal kine.
yew duz no wut PhD stanz fur, rite?
heh heh heh
egg-sallent, Dana. tygers awn tape; do want.
.
we looks forward to yer reports frum teh feeld. thnx!!
Ai hab lukt, n kant fynde teh orijinul akowntz, but tehre wur tu:
Wun wuz a blynde wumun hu wuz allowd 2 snorgle a tygur aftur it wuz anesthetizd 4 surguree, so it wuz kompleeeeetlee relaxt. She karefulee drapt herself akros it as she scratcht itz hed n nek, n kryd, it wuz so mobing.
Teh odder wuz a trabelur hu bisited a temple in India wer tehy raazd teh tygurz frum cubz, n cudduld n snorgled dem frum cubhood awn up, jus liek we do wif owr kittehz. He sed it wuz teh totullee ossim, 2 heer teh… wut he deskrybed az purring, wif kapitul letturz, but wen he gotz teh klos enuf 2 petz dem, tehy wudunt purr so mutch az wen the tempul preests n akolytez wuz petting dem. He felted teh sad, taht his approtch prebented tehm frum relaxing enuf 2 purr liek taht, so he baked awaa, agin, n tehy started 2 … wut he cawld purring, again. WANT!!
Ai kan see eggzacly to whut thai r refrring. Iz veri moshinul, beeng wif teh tygers. Thai do mayke menny soundz whut cood be soundin liek teh giiant purrz. Anteh guy what went to da tyger temmple onlee teh tygerz dint no his well enuf. Thai ver purrticularz bout hoo thai lurvs. Ai finks taht whut thoz hoomins herd was tey ff-ff-ff soundz of teh tygerz “ohai!” Thai maykes teh ff-ff-ff wen thai kummferbal an relaxified.
Heerz gud videoz of teh ff-ff-ff noyze. Memberer, al teh tygerz soundz a bit dfrrent frum eech udder.
http://tinyurl.com/yu73xm
You might wanna frow him sum fud afore you goes in fer teh snorgle, a couple cheezburgers and a steak, praps sum chicken, the caddy, leftovers fum picnic …
…an annoying relatif oar two…
Bad nay burrs
Candy dates for de bait
Dandy lionz
E…
e-mail spam artists frum nigeria and elsewere
free offers; just send us yer credit card
government byooro-crats; an assorted box
h…
Hoomins taht toks politiks awn ICHC
Iny 1 wifowt teh scents ob humor
Jay wokkerz
K…
kkk and its relytives
low-burger trolls
mai big backlog of oberdue stuff
…
N -ergizer bunnee
Oateeoz frum teh hellth fud stoar
Pralinez wif pekanz (cuz if day stayz in teh houwze, i will eatz awl ob dem)
“Q” frum star trek nex genrashun
R…
Rejektz frum humanity
Stoopy trollz
Too-self-impawtent peepz
U…
Used car salesmen
Vlad the Impaler
Whiny people
X-spouzez
Yappee liddle dogz
Z
Zellus prossil… prostl… um, peeps taht wantz to “conbert” u.
“Oateeoz frum teh hellth fud stoar” – ai’m wif u dere, sweepea.
How much do I luv these cheezpeeps!?!?! They starts an alphabetical list ob almost anyting at the drop of a cheezburger. I particular luv watchin wut happins after T Itz always intersting: Vlad the Impaler – X spouses – zealous protiutes ..
I need annuder box ob tissues I’se laffin so hard my noze is dripping and muh eyes watering.
Xcept der Jwalkers – I luvs NYC and iffen you visit The City as often as Esther and I do you hasta learn to Jwalk so I’se switching Jwalkers for Junior executives. Theys mostly self important ambitious meatheads.
Yu injoyd piknik? ai dint maik it but hab nuf burgurz bai den fur munch heer. putz awn de baykunz, blu cheez, gray poopawn musturd. Kulurful an taistee.
Ay-Ooooo!
But sruzly, folkz……
kp
Your balls… I haz dem
Grayt Beeg Kitteh libbz
inz Bambuu Foarest. No wun
‘playz frro’ heer atz awll!
Bambuu Foarest iz
‘wun stroak penultee’. Moar ifz
Hewminz seez Kitteh!
Gawlfurrz bettah hoap
Grayt Beeg Kitteh iz tyredz oarz
summwun willz getz hurt
Gawlffengz iz a nyss
walkz roo~endd. Sayfurr playsez
2 taykz nyss lawngz walkz
Jack.
WootWoot! Egg sellent, as awlwais, Jack
Wot her sed.
Ditto.
!
Those woods look dangerous!
Tigure, tigure, burnyng brite,
Iyn teh forrist ov teh nite,
Wysh Ai mai adn wysh Ai mite,
Wysh Ai getz mai wysh tunite
(O, wayt, taht jes duzzent saound kwite kerrekt -
Ai fink Ai can haz jes gawt 2 pomes mixeded up; fink 2nd wun iys Jyminee Krikkett, butt furst wun xcapes me?!!!)
Deh furst won iz William Blake – first stanza (der R 6 stanzas, butt de furst an last r de saem)
Tyger! Tyger! burning bright,
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
Sumwon transl8 into lolspeak?
I lykes Cheshirekittehkat’s version more bettah. Herz rhymeser better, sints win did ‘hand or eye’ rhyme wid ’symmetry’. And it seems to me taht makin a wish on a big fero… fearo… scary qat like dat makes more scents den wonderin who built a frame. I prefers poems from real poets like Walt Kelly or Don Marquis.
Or, ob koarse, Jack Deth who not only makes der grate poetry but doesnt make us trasnlate it into LOLspeak.
Yay! Watl Jelly. Mai heero.
Really ders annuder POGO fan inna werld? Ise so Happy. We must breed before become extinct. Um Axually Esther might take a dim view of dat, nemme mind
My grandpa was editor of Syracuse paper and he wuz frens wid Walt Kelly (who was a crank old coot dat dint like kids). I hab a hand drawn and colored framed panel wid a complete Pogo cartoon and in it is the pram wid my grandpa’s name It says ‘SS Voorhees’ onna side and ‘Good Ole Bob’ onna transom. Pogo invented LOLspeak as fer as I’m concernt.
Mai Daddy had uh Pogo buk wen ai wuz growin up—wun abowt “G. O. Fizzicle Pogo.” (actual spelling) Awlso grew up heerin Dek us Awl Wid Bawstun Charlie. Menny laffs, an moas awsum!
“Dek us awl wid Boston Charlie
Wallah Wallah Wash. an Kallamazoo.
Nora’s freezin onna trolly,
Swaller Dollar, cauliflower, alleygaroo.
Don’t we know archaic barrel?
lullabye, Lilly boy, Louisville Lou.
Trolly Molly don’t love Harold,
Boola Boola, Pensicoola, Hullaballoo!”
I have over a dozen Pogo books including the rare and valuable:
‘Pogo’s Jack Acid Society Black Book’. I also have the hard cover edition of the POGO Song book with great lill numbers like ‘Baby don’t you Sugar Me”
(oh baby don’t you sugar me, oh sugar don’t you sugar me, or try to spoon, don’t stir me boy – cause us is throon – jest roll them eyes rite out that door)”. And thenere the unforgetabobble “One Small Suite for Two Brown Eyes” (quick my love, fetch the torch, there is no longer dark). I’m speck these had an unquantifiable influents on me durink muh formative years.
Mah daddeh still singz dat 1 awl teh tiem.
“We haz met teh enomny an he iz us”.
OHai, Hyla’s Brook:
Kitteh, Kitteh wiff
iez so bryte. Hoo~ebburr biltz
U didz feengz juss ryte
Kitteh oawnz t3h Nyte.
Wenz Hewminz sleepz iz t3h tyme
Kittehz cumz 2 lyfe
Kitteh iz sawllidd,
butz luukz likkwidz wenz stretttttchd owt
oraz currrrrldz up Nappeeng
Kitteh iz soopurbz
mawrrvill ubz enjineereeng.
Grayss purrsawnifyed
Jack.
GRATE!!!!!!!!!!!
Rlly, rlly wunnerfull, Jack: yu taikes a biiiiig bow!!!
FeNOMiNOMiNOMiababul, Jack!
Wurdz kan hardlee konvaa teh ossimness ob yur Haiku.
Tygurrr, tygurrr, bernin brite
Wotch owt! Yu’ll set teh jungle alite!
Stoelen form Spike Milligan, Ai tink
LUBBIT, this verzhun.
Why pandas of the great bamboo forests are really going extinct…
O hai. Mai bruddur iz Billy Brad Hart. Jus thawt yud leik tu no.
Jeezus Karyst, it’s a…
…oh wait, it’s only a tigur,
everything’s okAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!!
snoffle
Tiger Woods no lieks golf.
u guise sed awl teh funnee stuufff (an bery wel too) so ai jest sez…..oh wow, dat iz wun magnifico beest…….himz teh bbeeuuutifulllest……
yew is right, salleh. eben wile making teh jokes, if you look closely, yew feels respect and awe (as in ossum). i duz, at least.
Gawt 2 hold a babbeh last yeer – 6 weeks owld an alreddy bigger den r Maine Coon. Cud jus image-in hao beeg an gorjus hez gonna get. Naytur, she duz it rite.
Ai r in yoar bak yard keepin u kumpunee.
Wen ur around i just wanting 2 b alone.
An I gawts teh pointy enz 2 reeli mayke it stick!