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Tiger Woods

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117 Comments »

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

Missy

Lookin fur tyger snakk

Shaungrl

Snakk? dat was called “teh caddie”.

Ambercat

Caddie snak - wusn’t taht a fillum?

 
 
 
Phillipe d'Beaker

n-e-buddy seen Larry lately?

lolnascar

Plz to be staying outta outtaboundz!!

SolnEsther

Dis must be teh # 1 handicap hole. Suddenly stroke n distanse dont sound so bad, Ise going back to de Tee.

 
scruffykat

Tiger always plays his best from the rough.

 
 
SolnEsther

Har! Poor larry, he ruint our round ob golf. lotsa extra werk, hit the ball - drag wuts left of Larry, make yer approach shot - drag . . .

Shanmao

Oh, dat gawt me. ROFL. Cawfee on teh cawmputr skreen.

But, won teh tiger still b chawmpin awn Larry? Doan wants 2 drag him if tigerz not dun yet!

SolnEsther

How much middleaged overweight white guy in plaid pants do you fink a tiger can nom? Iffen stoopy tigger could have eaten more, den draggin wutz left wooden be so tuff.

 
SolnEsther

Jest How mush middleaged overweight white guy on plaid pants do you tink a tyger can nom? Tyger mighta schoffed or removed meybe 50 lbs but that leaves over 200 pounds of the fat bastid that I gotta lug around. I could have left the carcase inna sand trap where the tigger buried it but we carpooled and Larry drove. I needs the keys

SolnEsther

Next time I play dis course I’m springing fer the cart. Walking is just out.

 
lunarmommy

ooh, i’z laffin so hard it hurtz… :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 
 
 
 
 
Phillipe d'Beaker

congrashumalashuns, missy, on nawt-secund position. teh cello-brashuns can begin!!

Missy

Can we dans dans dans tew “The Lyun Sleeps Tewnite”? A-weem-a-wep, a-weem-a-wep…..

 
Phillipe d'Beaker

cue teh Taxonomy Troll, in 3, 2, 1 ….

Missy

Lyuns, tygurs, an bares….oh mai!

Phillipe d'Beaker

yoor just teezing them, r’nt you?
*cmon peeple, that’s nawt a reel bear, it’s an obvious fake, fotoshoppeded and frum DizneeWhirld, n-e-wun cud see taht ….*

 
 
Ambercat

Hao can tihs pawsibly TigerWoods, teh glofer?! R yu peeple stoopy oar sumfink?! TigerWoods is mush taller. An has braon iys. An tehre’s no sine ob ennee gulf clobs. Sheesh!

 
4½ Kittehs

Welll, peeple chnaj. Fink Maikul Jaxin.

 
Hyla's Brook

How u kno dis Tiger nawt hav braon iys? Did u get clos enuf 2 luk?

OK - Iz taek yur wurd 4 it. Iz nawt goin 2 luk miself.

 
 
Feelionophiliac

Shur, wai nawt…
*putz awn mask*
DON U PEEPUL KNO NUTTIN!!
DAT R A TYGUR!!
WUT R U DOOIN SINGING “LYUN SLEEPZ TONIGHT…”!!??!!
*taakz mask orf n trowz it far awaa*
Dat wuz kinda fun. Eberybodee awta trai it ebery now n den.

kafleen

Snurt! That’s exactlee wutt I thot, too! :P

 
 
 
 
 
Ebilcat

Nice Nawt Sekund!

If a Tyger Rawrs in deh Woodz, Dus ne one hear him?

Ambercat

pends hao lowd he rawrs!

 
 
 
illi

oh hi. i fund golf ball. tasted like chikin.

 
lunarmommy

oh hai. i fownd goff ball plaiyr. tasted liek chikin.

 
 
Kumbulu

Yew wont yur gulf bal bak?

Com an get it.

Phillipe d'Beaker

ai duzzn’t play teh golf, but isn’t this wut they calls a “hazard”? jst askin.

Smammie

i “Woods” knot wury bout teh sand trap on discourse

Dana T

Sand trap? Or beeg litter boxz?

greasycat

Uh, er, those aren’t golf balls in that sand.

Shanmao

Ewww. Obvyusly, Larry teh Caddie gawt et b4 he skoopt owt teh kitteh bawks. Oar mayb caws de dint.

SolnEsther

The tyger put wuts left of Larry In der litter bawx.

Shanmao

O I FAWT dat luked laik sumwunz hed.

Wait. U meen Larry haz moar flavr den goff bawlz? Dis is Larry weer tawkin abut! Tiger muss b desprit.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
DavecanhasDrTinycat

I dunt sees enee goff klubs.

Phillipe d'Beaker

yew mean toofpicks, don’t you?

 
 
 
 
cweenmj

Himz soooo prittee! I wanting a snorgul. Let me putting on mai chayn male suit nawt-sekkund. Duz deh tygrrr haz deh ipod? I needz 2 b putting on deh calming music 4 him so he can b relaxing. Not wanting himz all exsighted.

4½ Kittehs

If u can getting clos enuf to rub hims bellee, taht shud dooit!

 
Ambercat

yu’ll need teh ree-inn-forsed snorgle snorkle too

 
Feelionophiliac

Ai haf red akkowntz ob peepz snorgling teh big big kittehz liek tihs, hearing n feeling demz puuurrrrrring, or ai shud say PUUURRRRRING, n tehy deskrybd it as, well, indescrybabul, it wuz teh so much awesum. Pikshurz abaalabul awn rekwest.

Dana T

Tygerz no can purr. Mayke lotz of grumbly-happy noyzez tho. Tygerz “ouff-ff-ff” to sai hello. (They blowz in ur fayces.) Coogarz biggest kittehs can has purrz. (But kantz roawrz.) Coogarz has GREAT purrz.

Phillipe d'Beaker

Ohai Dana,
Naow, that is wut I calls infermashun we is nawt likely to get jest n-e-weres. ICHC is sooooo educamashunul. Thnx!!
.
ps — pls ufff-fff-ffff to yer tiger frenz frum us.

 
Feelionophiliac

It myte b a bit absolutist 2 saa taht tigerz do nawt purr. Tehy maa nawt maak a “true purr” wif teh vybrashunz kontinyoouslee wyle breefing in n owt, but teh resent artikul (Peters, G. Purring and similar vocalizations in mammals. Mammal Review, v32, Dec. 2002: 245-271.) sed taht tehy maak a “purr-lyke sownd” wen breefing owt, whitch iz prolly wut teh folkz wuz heering n feeling.
Ai didunt tink taht teh folkz wryting abowt teh awesum tiger purr were maaking it up.

Phillipe d'Beaker

many tnks fer teh reference, wich we will add to teh librry at d’Beaker Laboratories. pending its arrival, do yew know if it mentions purring in the binturong? they is int viverridae, along wif teh meerkats and mongooses (mongeeses too). i wunce herd one purr, or it sounded like it to me.

sweepea

ummmmm, Prof. d’Beaker, duz you meen teh arribal ob the librrry oar the arribal ob teh buk is pending?
‘cuz, golly, i shure wud like to be dere wen a whole liberrrry arrives…

Phillipe d'Beaker

ai wuz referrin (in a sortuv ambiguous sentence, ai must admit) to teh arribal of the article. yew might wanna think 2wice about being dere if it was teh hole liberrrry arrives, bcoz probbbly the arribal wud be supervised by Igor. him has 10-dancy to be a little loose wif things like OSSHA, hardhats, dropping big bildings frum a haight, and sow on.

sweepea

‘kay, wink wink if yew say sew.
i betz yew reely getin a hole liberry ob sine tifical buks wif weerd spearmints adn plotz fer teh whirled dominashun. oar mebee jest bawkses ob skochwiskey in buk boxes. oar bof- a lethal cominashun.

Phillipe d'Beaker

pssst….
yew shudn’t noes about taht stuff. watch aowt if you is followed home by black unmarked SUV wif tinted windows an no license plates …. down’t say we didunt warns yew.

sweepea

*duznt hear a fing*

♫blinded me wif science, science, science♫

 
 
 
 
 
 
Dana T

Well, ok too. All I knowz iz that mai tygerz (17 of them) are wai happy kids and I’ve never herd one do the purrz. (In 5 years.) They for sure mayke many diffrent grumbly-yowly-happy soundz, sum soundz lieks growlz but aren’t, lotz of ff-ff-ffing which can soundz very diffrent from kitteh to kitteh. They r veri, veri vocal. (Specially the grrls) Teh coogarz, on teh other pawz, rlly PURR. Liek litty bitty kitteh but loudz.

Cleerly, mor reserch is called for on mai partz. Must snorgle big stripey kittehs untils they purrz. But onlee veri, veri, careful liek. Iz sur teh othr folkz nawt maaking it up.

I will ff-ff-ff all the big kittehs for every1.

Phillipe d'Beaker

To: Dana T
From: Phillipe d’Beaker
BioAcoustics Dibision, d’Beaker Laboratories
.
We looks 4ward to continyood collaborashun on teh Tiger Purring Project (TPP). Wun hypofesis is that teh “purr-like soundz wen breefing out” referred to by Peters (2002) may well be the same as the “grumbly-yowly happy sounds” wif teh “ff-ff-ffing” which yew report.
.
Ai shud add that there is a debate between teh Theoretical Dibishun an teh Fiedl Reshurch Dibision. Theoretical gize wantz to do compyooter simulations and phylogenetic analysis and biomechanical calylashuns to decide if tigers purr. The Field Reshurch gize is wif you — they makes impolite commints about teh theoritishuns and says that the tigerz can decides for themselves if they purrs or not, and that if sumwun wants to disagree wif teh tigurz about that, its toooo bad fur them. They recomminds impirical inbestigashun involving (careful) snorgling.
.
N-e-way, we hopes taht yew will accept a posishun as d’Beaker Laboratories Chief Adjunct Tigerologist fer this impowrtant research project. Teh whirled will be waiting wif baited brefs for your reports.

 
4½ Kittehs

Dis cite sur am bery edumacashunal in adit… addti… an teh funneh too! N cheezpeeps so nyce adn frendlolee.

Fanks Dana T fur ff-ff-ff-ing teh strypee kittehs fur us!

 
cweenmj

Dana, I iz soooo jelus uv u 2 b snorgling teh tygrrz.
Dew b careful. I loening u mai chayn male armer.
Adn plz 2 b taking the reein4sed snorgle snorkle.
Also 2 b taking teh recordifcashun devises 2 recordifyingz uv
teh tyger purringz (oar not purringz) 4 teh post snorgle
data evaluashunz.
:-)