Bad Kittehs, Bad Kittehs, Whatchgonna do
Whatchgonna do wen they come fer u
sum kitthes born gud nd sum born nawt so gud.
picture: ratedm.com. lol caption: Kat
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
NOM NOM NOM
Nawt sekkund? Yayyy! I eated teh enemy kops!
Conga ratz choolashunz Lyanthya! U wuz teh nawt-sekund!
Nao aim skritchin mai hed, wundurin wut kynda danz wud work 4 kyoot kittehz onna fence… n wut wud b yur beveraj ob choys.
Teh toon “Don fens mee in” kumz 2 mynd (but hao doo u dans 2 taht?), n a drink kawld teh “Cyclone,” but ai rekalz taht u prefer non-alkoholik beberajez, no?
Still, teh kittehz r teh kyoot.
Mabee teh Jailhowse Rok? An lemmonayd, plzkthx.
Low burger troll is attakin me. He just jellus.
Dats prolly teh “Ooh, teh dantses buggs me. Sorry too say kitties” cyootsee sacarine dants-hatin troll.
Doan pay her no nebburmind.
*duzz an extra speshul little polka fur teh troll*
/wile warin ugglee shoos
Oh, hey, wile it still erlee I has too thred jack a secund. Janetcanhas4kittehs bee in Florida habbin a BAD attack ub teh withdrawul….she cannut seem too bee abul to axxess teh site wiff her lappytop….so she say O HAI!!! to evverbuddee!
Plz to tell JCH4K hai, en ef shee wud bee in Jacksomebill, Ai wud let her uz mai lappytop! Teh ekstra gud wevver iz put awn just cawz she bee hear!
Plz tew tell JCH4K that ai sez OHAI!!1! bak! nd dat ai hoep she’ll bee abul tew axess teh siet soon! nd dat wii wl luv her nd miss her nd…*continues wif a long list ov tings tew say tew JCH4K*
yeh!
wut he said.
messages sended!
Ai rlly missis JCH4K. We can has tu reguard iyt sayme way we did wif
Fyumi’s vakashun: We knowes dey can has to hav funses!
Soe weez jes be waytyng pashuntlee til dey getz bak.
an we can has anudder parayd!
plus, Fyumi can haz a werkin vakashun. Shee is pertektin gurl peeps frum teh trollz dat get teh drunk on spring brake.
She gotted teh ideeyuh frum Feelionophiliac (sry if wee spelt name rong)
O Noes! Ekzaktlee ryte!
Ai jus knoz taht Fyumi wud enjoi halping teh kyoot gurlz neer teh beetches awn Spring break, in kasez tehy haz problumz wif obnokshus drunkz being… obnokshus.
Ai don tink Fyumi konsiderz it wurk, espeshally wen teh kyoot gurlz petz him awn himz hed 4 saving dem frum teh drunkz.
Hopefulee Fyumi wil b bak soon, tho. We haz haded teh trollz, n ai habunt seen Albert arownd.
Has eneewun seen Albert?
whoop! hey kafleen - les polka teh troll owtta heer!
*hop step close step*
*hop step close step*
*hop step close step*
*hop step close step*
*all while turning!*
Wun too tree and!
Wun too tree and!
Shall wee dans, shall wee dans, shall wee dans!
King an Eye ref: FTW!!! Yaaaayy!!!
Mai naybors heer in Noo Jursee has teh Mexican polka partees ebbery weekend. Dat skeer awae teh trollz fer sher.
Ole!
*dansdansdans*
Mexican Polka !!!!!!!!!!11!!!111!1111111111!1!1
.
*thud*
dat waz me fawling obber……
Mexican Polka…..oh teh humanity……
It are pritty skarie. Tehy also can has disko lites.
See Mexican Polka on Utoob. It ecksists.
Oh noez salleh!!!
Not 2 b falling on deh dans floorz!!
U will getting dansed upon!!
.
*Mexican polka feetz stomping near sallehz hed.
*Mexican polka feetz stomping near sallehz legs.
*Mexican polka feetz stomping near sallehz armz
*Drags salleh off uv deh floor and out into deh sun shinez.
*props salleh in chayr and orderz deh reviving
*refreshments.
.
Der. OK noaw?
U just 2 b sitting heer and resting.
Don’t 2 b lukking inside @ deh
Mexican Polka NEmoar.
I tole yew Mexican Polka are weerd.
WHO RAY Fer Cweenmj !! Salleh was rescued (needed it or not) from the wildly stomping polka feets. Every year in late September Esther an I trow a Salsa party where were takes the produce fum our garden plus some hep from the farm stand and we has a whole Caturday of making Salsa! We tells people not to dress up and to bring their favorite knife, cutting board, and several canning jars.. We have many buschels of onions and tomatoes and garlics and peppers bofe hot and mild and we spend the day cutting and chopping and blanching and mixing and we eats Cheezbuegers and Tacos and tostadas and ropa vieja and beer and wine and watermelons and Ice creams and ob course der is salsa music (and some old time rock and roll). When we’re done ebbrybody takes home several jars of homemade (cooked) salsa. Der is no better way to meet new peeple den to be sitting necks to dem at a picnic table and crying over some onions dat yer choppin. Male the Hot pepper chopper wear the rubber gloves. I lernt this the hard way. You may not feel the capsicum on yer calloused hand but sooner or later yer gonna take a leak. And unless you do that hands free, the hot oil from the peppers and the not callused skin of yer evacutory apparatus will come together and it will make you dance. l know. It only looks funny.
oy, da fingz we lernz on ICHC…
Could u mabye cut a hole in one of teh fingers of a CHRG and weare it on ur… u knoe?
.
If u and all teh other males at ur next salsa party wears them, I wants a picshur, ‘k?
“evacutory apparatus” roflmao!!!
why duz i hab teh sudden craving fer teh mexican fuds? why?
Aim larffin so mush dat Ai haz to gitz mai inhaler. Y’all r soos phuny!!! Grate wai to ned teh dai.
Nite Nite eber bodee. Iz elebenty and a half at nite heer (NW FL)
Quit larfing at muh, it burnt lyk Hades for hours and nuthin would put owt the fyre. I tried lotsa stuff inklewding the application of a full bottle of cold lager to the affected area. After that I was just a MAOWGWA (middleagedoweightwhiteguy with attitude) who smelled like a brewery, looking like I had wet my pants and dancin aroun howling. Not a dignified moment.
AND the hot oil does not wash off, it gets absobed. Although the washing was sorta fun . . . (its muh sope and its muh apparatus and I’ll wash it as fast as I want).
Congrats, Lyantha, on yur nawt-sekond! What be yur favorite police/law and order show, to whose theme we can dance?
Fanks! I dont watches tellybishun, so wii dans to Jailhowse Rok.
HOORAYZ!! Anudder wun hu aboydz teh telibizhun!
Fanks 2 teh innerwebz, wee kin lurn abowt teh telibizhun wifowt habing owr braanz soffend 2 mutch bai akshuwally watchin it.
Haf u red Jerry Mander’s bukz abowt telibizhun? (n dats himz reel naam!)
Noes, I has to luks fer that. Oder kittehs fink aim krazee fer nawt wachin teh tellybishun, but I just lieks books sow much moor.
Tellybishun wil eet ur soul.
4 shur.
Tytulz: “For Argumentz 4 teh eliminashun ob telibizhun” (ai no, stoopy tytul)
odder wun: “In teh absens ob teh Sakred.” (obtus, but appropriut)
Ai tink no wun haz red tehm in part b kuz ob teh loonee tytulz, but tehy r bery inturesting.
Fanks, I will luks fer it. Justine and I has to go to Hole Fuds todae an tehre is a bukstoor nearbai. I needs sum noo buks ennywae.
I alwaiz needz some noo books… and sum old books to replace teh copies uv old favrits that I’ve red so much they’re falling apart… and a bigger howse to keep dem all in… and munnies to pay 4 them…
Mee tooes. I fink I needz to rob a bank soes I can has moor books.
On teh intertoobs in the blog What WHite People Like number 28 is to not have a television.
Teh number one reason white people gives for not having a television?
so they can tell other people that they don’t have a television.
Dats wun reesun too shawp at teh Gudwil—speshully 4 teh payperbax n stuff. Ai’m awlwais replaycin teh wornout wuns.
I baid a buk at Gudwil last weak, but I finisheded it.
oh hai buuk lobberz……obber awn teh cheezfrenz yahoo groop…we hav jest started up teh “Nommin an reedin an smokin ” club….(u doesnt haz to smoke but der ar a few ov uz hoo …welll we ar addikiteded…..) an trunz oawt we awl big tyme reederz too……
ifn u luukz awn teh iterwebz, der iz a papeur bak exchanj …ai lukked into it an gonna joyn as soon as ai fines teh tyme to typ in ten buukz (u getz to chooose 2 buukz to sart wiff dose 10 buukz..den affer dat…sumone takez wun ov ur buukz ..u getz wun u getz to choose…….teh purrsun hoo haz teh buuk sendz it…payin fur postaj….iz reel guud idear….
Yes, teh Nommin, Reedin, an Smokin club wuz partlee mai idea. I are lukin fore word to teh nawt-sekkund meetin.
Ai duz buk swapzes wib mai Sissie an mai Parentz-der frenz
an dems frenz…….
Libree an Trabbellin Libree am gud tew.
In TTI we hab teh “Car Boot Sales”-eggsellent fur buyin noo/yoosed
bukks.Teh Charidee shops be grate.
Am glad bowt teh “Nommin reedin an smokin” club.Ai fink ai
set up a TTI branch. -*whispers* ai r a smoker tew..
Shud bois be aloud at teh Nommin, Reedin, & Smokin Club?
Or shud the bois have to read wifout movin their lips?
Wondering . . .
Bois aloud if they bring teh cheezeburgers? We could make it a new rule.
Yah, but boiz cheezburgerz nawt as tasty as teh wunz I makes. Mabee we let tehm come ifn tehy bring lobster.
Tidmums–in May I wil be moovin to Teeny Tiny Skotland. Sew we shud has a Reedin, Nommin, an Smokin club fore teh Yew Kay.
I luv muh books! Win we moved ta dis smaller howse I hadda git rid of about 1/2 of my libary, I’m down ta about 20 linear feetz of 7 fut high bookshelve. Heartbroken but I gave them to my library where dey hold a big sale every summer so I kin donate old ones and buy new wunz.
I hadda quit going to the book store, I was spending too much so now I visit the library evey week. Saving big dough. I still watch about 6 hours ob TV a week tho, I luv the TCM and some of the shows (I miss The Wyre, and Deadwood, and now they rekilled Jerico) like The Tudors, Boondocks, … WTF This has nuttin to do wif Kittehs! Sry KTHXBAI.
Teh NRS (nommin readin smokin) club sounz wunnerful. I would like to jion but I quit smokin, now I’s just a middle age overweight white guy. But kin read widout moving muh lips, mostly.
Iyf yu watches teh BooB Tube enuff, speshully teh politikal adn
fynanshul channuls, (furrgit bowt pryme timeses) yu getz teh
brayne-fayde.
Ai’m jes sik adn tyred ov kommintaturs taukin bout monees,
Hillary taukin bout Hillary, othur peeps tryin tu skair yu haf tu def
wif tauk bout imminint dysasturs, bad weathurs, playgues adn
pestiliyences dat be cummin up enny tyme naow.
Taht’s wye Ai alwaise xcapes to ICHC fur a breaver adn sum piece.
YAY!!!!!! {{{{{{{{{{{{ICHC}}}}}}}}}}
yis, yu iz rite. dey kepe sez abowt dysastrz an maiks em happen
. De “shrub” sez iconmee so bad wen wuznt but it did. Maik me furr
ry mad . shoze pointy ens. but stil iz amainl planitz an fings wutz gud tu
se
Shrub!!1!1!! I luvs it, I thot I wuz the onliest one dat called Gubner Bush Shrub.
He still ain’t big enuff to be a bush he just a lil shrub. I refers to shrub sumtims as Gubbner Bush because he axually did get legally elected as a gubbner once.
ICHC not xcape - iz ware REEL peeps R!
{{{{{{{cheezfrens}}}}}}}
Ecksackly. Tellybishun nawt reel. Cheezpeeps is reel.
Ai agreez wib yew.
ICHC am mai fabe intertaynment.
{{{{{{{{{{Cheezfrenz}}}}}}}}}}}
I lubs cheezfrenz. Whut are lyfe wifowt cheez?
I haz pin dat sez: EAT CHEESE OR DIE.
I werez it proudlee.
(is hard 2 b riting ‘eat cheese or die’.
Finnerz wantz 2 b riting ‘eet cheez oar dye’).
TJ Kitteh persues and apprehends bad guy of da week. Now, where be da hot little female kop< Stacey, so he can, um, mentor her.
“Mentor”, eh? Ai nebber herd it called dat bee 4!
Tee jah lucky fence not katch hez too pay…