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Why there is no LOLcat Planet channel?
Iz troo – we getz like 4 billyon channels, and most of the time, there’s STILL nuthing on I wants to watch.
Congrats. LCB, on yur nawt-sekond!
dat’s Y deres ICHC!
We need a tv channlol. Whut shows would be onnit?
All Mah Chillrens
Bewitchified
CNOM Nooz
Dirty Jobz (lotsa mowsez en snayks en stuf on dat sho)
Ebrybuddy Lubz Kittehs
Furrendz
Gushifud Tyme
Horror Theeatur
Inturnashunal Trabelog
Wuz gonna say “Grate Purrrrrformansus,” but u beet meh to “G.”
Jack’s Big Musik Show (for teh kittens)
Kitteh Komestibuls (a fud show)
LOST (wich I hoep yur kittehs nevur getz)
Meerkat manor
Naked Chef
Office, The
‘Murican Idlol
NapTyme fur Kittehs
Owter Limits (that kittehs has nun ob)
Miffbusterz
Nine Liefs to Live
Oprah Winfree
Pairakeet Channel
Quest 4 deh hidey plais
Robotik kitteh toyz
S . .
Sew U Fink U Can Dans
Twennyfoar
Unner a Shaydee Tree
Sleepink wif teh kittehs
Toonces’ Driving 101
Untouchables
V . . .
Vanished (agin – hoep nevur happenz to ur kittehs)
Wut Nawt to Warez
X-Filez
Yo Gabba Gabba (agin fur teh kittenz)
Zoey 101 (plz spay or nootur ur petz)
Dansin Wiff teh Starrz
Eight iz Enuff
Frends
west wingz
amuricun ilols
gentulmens purrfurr calicoes
happee daze
in heet in teh nite
Happy comgratchumalashuns on farvest frum lastest!!1!
hay wai nobawdy offrd catburgular da kustomerry danse and bevrujjes?
Ai dint cuz Iz shy… an dint no if ai wul haff to list teh dans stepz.
Martooni or sumfin hot to drink, LCB?
Iz okai, Shna – wii wuz awl noo wunce. Yoo doan haz to do aneefing yoo doan wanna arownd heer, an itz all gud. Sum ov us lists dans stepz, sum ov us doan. Sum dans steps ar reel dances (yoo shuld see Maus’ waltzes – dey’s beyoootifullll!), but moast, wii makes up jes to haf fun wif. Wii lubs yoo wedder yoo danz or nawt. Itz teh cheezpeep wai.
Martooni? Yes plz. Sumfin hot to drink? Yes, plz. Hot choklit martooni, mabye?
Dun an dun!
Ai finks ai will hav a Bayleez n Kawfee… wif sum vanila powdur. Maibee sum kahlua.
Oooh! I’ll has one of those, 2. kthxhic
cuz we wuz bizzy lolchannelsurfin…. scuzeme.
tonight on mutual of omaha’s wild kingdom, light french sauces which go well with endangered species. I’ll just stay in the chopper while jim goes in for a closer look…
Big screens mean big birds -more meats!
yes menne big meats.. but kolor balince off, fryed chikin iz green?!
http://www.happylolday.com
Dose noms iz HYOOOOOOJ!
kitteh noes tehy ar just enlarjd to sho texchur
But…… wat if dey life-syzed an wan to nom teh kitteh insted uf kitteh nommin dem? Maibee it wuld den be Horror Moovee Channil for teh kittehs.
U meen horror moovies like these?
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http://www.littlefivers.com/pets/kitty-horror-movies/
Datz purrrrfekt, LCB!
Congrajumashuns on yer nawt sekund, btw.
Thx and thx!
Like vintaj horror moovies 4 hoomins wif jyant ants, jyant spydurs, an stuff like that? Could have kleeshay dialog, 2:
1 Kitteh: Wut iz dat?
2 Kitteh: It looks lyk a fether, Sargent.
1 Kitteh: Wel, shur, looks lyk, but iz wai 2 big. I meenz, 4 a fether 2 B that big, teh burd wuld have to be…
[kittehs look at each uther with horrified X-pression]
2 Kitteh: No. It CUDNT be!
1 Kitteh: THINK, Lootenant! That big futprint we saw…
2 Kitteh: An all doze sunflower seedz…
Both: Oh… my… God.
“Now, what is that bird whispering to the other one about?”
Iron Chef Mystery Ingredient: Parakeets!
A-LOL CUISINE!!!
eat more lolz!
The Chayrman FTW!
Ai lubs the nu chayrman – he kin do bakflips an ebberyting!! Him seemz bery funneh, tu!
Wut iff kitteh wantz moar den 2?
/runs awai laffin
Git in mah belleh!
Just you wait, kitteh,
’til the wolfie shows come on.
Then who’s fud for who?
Yewl bee sorreh butt ur teers wil bee tew laet!
The low burger troll seems to be out of its mother’s basement and is voting as if its supply of cheetos and yoo-hoo has run out.
in short:
TROLL LIKE VOTING DETECTED.
I fink itz teh fawlt uv a pare…pair… birdee liek teh onez on teh skreen.
we need sum scents uv hyoomer, stat!
Nawt ownlee teh solushun 2 mos ob lyfz difikulteez, but espeshullee nao, wif troll-lyk boting kleerlee ebident.
Fyumi iz stil awn Spring Break, but Albert myte be hongree.
ALBERT! Iz u arownd?!
*slipping out of lolspeak*
Oh my goodness. I’m trying to proofread something as I keep checking for more comments here. I almost added “wif” intead of “with” to one of the sentences on the piece I’m proofing. I’m translating what I’m reading into lolspeak in my head & I’m getting all confused.
*bak to lolspeak*
Iz sew much moar funz to plai on ICHC den it iz to do werk. Pleh. Werk – DO NOT WANT!
dat iz so weerd win u talks liek thatt…
almoas liek a hewman!1!
Ssssssh. Doan tel dem. Teh pplz dat paiz meh finks Iz hyoomin. Iz rly jus bery clevver dis guyz.
oakay ur seekrut iz sayf wif us
wink wink
nudge nudge
this experience, we haz it also.
iam in yer brayn fuxing wiff yer languish…
Yoo noes yoo is addiktikayted to ICHC when . . .
Yoo starts ritin yor shoppin list in lol-speek.
yesturdey, said to mah plummer: “My cleanouts, let me show you dem.” an den he sez “you have a bukkit?” an I start senselessly laffin, he din not unerstan.
snerk!
did yer plummer by n-y chance hab a big mustache and prowtruding teefs? was him maybe a little bit oberweight? wuz hims hands big and flat? jst wonderin …
HA HA HA – sawree, culdint halp mahself.
Mah sister is tryin to udopt teh kitteh uv a long-tiem frend hoo just died. Kitteh haz been livvin in teh heeting duks uv teh hows. Mah sister goes an tries to maek frenz wif it.
Yesterday, she tole me teh kitteh (known to her as “Boots”) is nao livin in teh CEELING. It cums to teh hole in teh ceeling an luks down an tawks to her frum ther.
She duz nawt hang owt on ICHC. But she haz startid to kall teh kitteh – git this –
CEELING CAT!!!! BWA-ha-ha-ha! I bowt fell owta mah chayr when I red her e-mayl.
I would like to give this poem to your sister, and to her ceiling cat. It is by the great Polish poet Wislawa Szymborska.
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There are lots of poems about our experience of the death of the pets that we love. This is about their experience of the death of their people.
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It is beautiful.
.
Cat in an Empty Apartment
by Wislawa Szymborska
.
Die – you can’t do that to a cat.
Since what can a cat do
in an empty apartment?
Climb the walls?
Rub up against the furniture?
Nothing seems different here,
but nothing is the same.
Nothing has been moved,
but there’s more space.
And at nighttime no lamps are lit.
.
Footsteps on the staircase,
but they’re new ones.
The hand that puts fish on the saucer
has changed, too.
.
Something doesn’t start
at its usual time.
Something doesn’t happen
as it should.
Someone was always, always here,
then suddenly disappeared
and stubbornly stays disappeared.
.
Every closet has been examined.
Every shelf has been explored.
Excavations under the carpet turned up nothing.
A commandment was even broken,
papers scattered everywhere.
What remains to be done.
Just sleep and wait.
.
Just wait till he turns up,
just let him show his face.
Will he ever get a lesson
on what not to do to a cat.
Sidle toward him
as if unwilling
and ever so slow
on visibly offended paws,
and no leaps or squeals
at least to start.
Thanks PdeB -
very cool and sad.
dpeddy
Aw, P d’B – thanx! Verree sweet/sad storeh. I will giv it to mah sister.
They is maykin sum progress – teh Ceeling Cat is at leest tawking to mah sister nao.
Imagin that – I haz a sister with a direkt lien to Ceeling Cat! Enny speschul rekwests ennywun wuld liek me to pass along for mah sister to shayr?
Yess indeedie, ICHC iz fraught wif DAYNJURE!
Sumtymes Ai catches maiseylfe taukyng to mai fambly iyn semi-LOLCAT speak;
furdermoar, Ai can has thots iyn LOLCAT az weyl, iyf Ai doan wautchit!
Troolly, teh lanscaype of ICHC can has be jes loadedd wif boobie-trapses:
barbbed wyre-barruls ov laffs adn moawntins ov scents ov hyoomur.
Ttryck iz to geyt aroun awl ov dese poatenshul nihilators wifaowt havvin too menny gygantick splortses, dereby cauzing uninitiated peeps to fink Ai haz taiken leaf ov mai seynses, purminently.
Finally, the Parakeet Channel!
u kno, i heerd kitteh braynz is too fass for teevee. all dey sees is lite dott zumings akross skreen in a lyne. teh vizyual prossessings is has dis spede to trax and katch wee kronchies. iff kitteh can has teevee wotchings liek hooman, it meen dat kitteh is slo-braynz an probly is less gud at huntings.
no choot de messangur. juss wot i heerd!
Ok, we no shoot u.
.
We just tickle u until u pee.
.
*Puts on tickle glubs and boots*
Ai finkz ai duz dat to meh dotter sometiemz – but ai nebur thot uv teh glubs an teh bootz. Das gud ideeuh.
Don’t ferget teh helmet, 2!
tickel-tort-chair: donut wunt!
Mai hubbeh duz this wif teh heethens – hubbeh holds up hands, wigglols fingurz an sez: “meet mah frenz ‘Tickle an Pickle’!” den proseeds wif teh tikklin! He duzzint uz the glubs, doh…
Ai joos to hab kitteh frend (sweet sweet kitteh nao in kitteh hebbin) hoo wud krowch on teh top uv teh small teevee wehn hyoomins wuz watchin hockee & she wud chays teh puck arownd on teh skreen & smak it gud! She also liekd to watch bayseball & wud smak teh ball den too.
*sniff* Ai stil missez her – meh sweet littul kitteh wif teh too menny naemz.
Nina, La Gatita, Concentida, Cleocatra, Donna-O-Catter, Tightropewalker, Little Miss Mouse, Ty-PHOOOOOON
Bery bery big naem fur a bery bery small byootiful calico kitteh (naem too kawmplikaetd to spel in lolspeak).
wunce, wen I libbed in teh unibersitte dorm, wii haz had a kitteh named:
Bacchus Oliver Fang Finocchio Muggins McKenzie Hodge
Himz names kaem fum menny peeps on teh 4th floor dorm. Wen I tukked him hoem, mai
dad kalled him Irving!
I usta cawl my naught-first son: andy-pandy-pie-pie-nikki-no-meeno-dom-barko. Ore juss pi-pi, 4 short. Hez juss az accent-trick as hiz nayme. {{{{pi-pi}}}}}
Mai Kittehz habs menne naymes tew.
Hazel am Hazelmouse, Mazle, Tiddin/ Tidmouse, Fatty Golightly,Cylindercat,Flat cat, Blimp…..
Fern can be ,Ferny, Beans, Budderbeans, Frillynikkerz, Frillybum, Tinybeans…
.
Mai nayberz muss fink ai gotz elebenty kittehz wen ai cawllin awl deez naymez!!
Muh son’s nawt sekkind kitteh were a floofy widdle tiny unit
but ver ver fysteh so son named teh kitteh Emily Dickens. As tyme went bye becamed appar…apare… obv… oviu… WTF!!1!! clear dat name were wrong.
So we jes called him ‘Kitteh Big Bawlz’
Hao imbarrisin, but we did teh saym thing wit owr kitteh. He wuz:
Grem, Gremmin, Gremlin, Gremlikin-baybee-burger Breth (or just “teh Burger” fur short), “Q” teh Qat, Puss, Gremmy, Gremlin Bates (frum when he slashed teh shower kurtin as a kitn), an offin, just “G” . . . And wun uv mah frenz kalled him “teh cat frum h*ll” bekuz he attakked ebberybuddee but meh.
I diddn haf to see if he’d cum if I kalled eech naym – if I wuz ennywharz in teh hows, he wuz neggst to meh, wit sum part uv himz bodeh tuchin meh. Sumtiems a paw, sumtiems just teh tayl. Mah boyfren sed we even started to luk alyk frum bein togethur so mush!
An I furgot sum:
Fuzzbukkit (wun uv mah fayvrits)
Furfaec
Meowzer
But then agin, duz enny uv us reelee no owr kitteh’s Wun Troo Naem?
Prolly nawt . . .
mai kittehs awlwaz has odd naymz. Squit (grrl kitteh) and Snert
(boikitteh) wich were funnee, but dey knowed dere own naymes!
Dey bowf obber Rainbow Bridge naow, but dey were berry gud kittehs.
I tink it’s their eyes is 2 fast. Dey can see faster than de lines of resolution display. In analog picture dere be about 486 lines, but in noo tv de aspect radio so much different. Hooman eyes slow so we don’t see de changes. (used to be a videotape engineer in a tv station in young life, long ago and far away). Heard dat kittehs CAN sees HDTV.
hmmm… exsellint poynt! i gets hdtv for teh kittehs and see if dey can has cowchpotattoburger. ^_^
Iz okai, mai kittehs don hab tu B 2 fass 2 kech tehir fud. “science diet” seez 2 it taht it laiz still in da boll til tehy noms it. hahahaha
oh noes! i wondar iff hoomans haff evolvd kittehs to bee slo-mo? bekoss we want dem to bee moar liek hooman? wif slo-fud and teevee addikshun? O_O
mai kitteh waches animul plannet. don like goggie showz, like teh bugz showz, leaves teh room wen commershuls come on. Takes notes on tigger hunting tekneeke, does not liek closeups of lionz and baks away.
this photo reminds me of my cat…”ang sungkaban sa pagkaon” (it forages my food)
Ai r on yoar sofuh, watchin my fine fethered fuds.
B kynd 2 yer fyne-feddered frenz,
4 a byrd may B sumbunnies muvver…
b kynd 2 yer frenz in da treez,
where the breezes go whippin pass der knees…
if lolcatz haded a showz theree b showz lyke Glazzbuzter(I dndnt du eet) n frid eyce frid mizce.(a fud shows.) N Happehclowncat(Intortaanmentment showz)