what seems to be
the officer, problem?
yoo dont wantz 2 mess wif dis coppah…
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: fillmetalkittah
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
I’m not as think as you drunk I am!
hee-you beeted me tew it! Congratulashuns!
Hee! GMTA, MoS! *hic*
(I fink I needz anudder martoonie)
haz you a rekwest fur sawngndanz?
whilst yur finking, heres a winning combo:
Cary Grant & Beetlols !?
you can drive my car
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ3BGT_hQOI
oh, maiwee O!
taht is teh WIN!! Hao duz yoo find tehse tings, I doan unnerstand. I’z jes glad yoo duz!
I backed over the curb, hit the mailbox, sideswiped the tree, ran over the dog, and then I lost control…
How ‘bowts “Little Honda” (Beach Boys an otters)?
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(wii can sillyberates my ty wif Maus fer nawt sekund *and* mai noo Honda CR-V)
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here ya goez:
little honda
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqr5U78-e1w
Congrashumashumz, PB2K! wut yu wut tew dwink?
purhapz a gud martoonie, if yu dwink teh akahall. if yu dunt, yu cud alayz haz a root beer! mae b eben wun dat floetz!
ooooooh. i could has rubyredgrapefruit joose? i hab bekum an addikt.
Shur, maryo! Yu wut any shugerz in it, or just playn?
yu wut sum fuds wif it, tew?
plain is good! mebbee wif a marsheeno cherie adn a lil umbrela fur fun.
fanks, n1ip!!!
I fink I shuld prolly stick to root beer, as I haz a hedake an am afeerd taht booze wuld maek it werse.
ooh – an mebbe a root beer flote!!
oooh, twy it wif chonklit eye skreem, unless dat meks teh hedake wrurst.
ooh, yum! eyeskreme nebber gibs me teh hedake! sumtiems I getz teh braynefreez, but I fink a gud rootbeer flote wif choklit eiskreme iz jus wut mai doktor wuld tell me to do.
eber tryz the beer flote, no rootz? wif roky rode ais cremez? ownly
did wunst. Pleh.
Howcumz wehn sum1 haz sumfing taht tastez reely bad.. Tehy sez,
“EEeewww, tihs iz awfull….. ‘Heeer, yoo taste it”
Hmmm?
I haz onlee had tee martoonies…
An nao, tehre’s nuthin liek a good joke:
A man was out, driving happily along in his car late one Saturday night. Before too long, a cop pulled him over.
The policeman walked up to the man and asked, “Have you been drinking, sir?”
“Why? Was I weaving all over the road?”
“No,” replied the policeman, “you were driving splendidly. It was the really ugly girl in the passenger seat that gave you away.”
GROAAAANNNNNN
yer rite. nuffink like a good joak.
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Sew…we’re waitin…
.
yew got wun?
A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving all over the road. Eventually a cop pulls him over.
“Did you know,” says the cop, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”
“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf.”
I’m fear I’m gonna get smacked for this one, but here goes:
Recently scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men twelve bottles of beer each. The scientists observed that 100% of the male test group gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn’t drive.
No further testing is planned.
SMACK!!!
5 point-enz SMACKSMACKSMACK!
an DUBBLE SMAK!!
Eberybuddy’s a critic. Sheesh…
Whappitty-whappity-whappity-whappity-WHAP!
this wun is most funny if u say it with a reeely thick irish brough and shout a lot.
Molly O’Brien is sitting at home when the foreman from the guiness plant comes and knocks on the door.
“I’m sorry Molly, but I have some bad news for you. There was an accident at the plant today, and well… your husband, Darby, he died….”
“Oh no! Not mah Darby! Oh, God bless me, what happened?”
“Well, the railing gave way, he fell in the number nine tank, and I’m afraid he drowned…”
“Oh! How terrible! Tell me, was it a quick death at least?”
“Heavens no, he had to get out twice to piss”
Nao TAHT’S funni!
LMAO! That’s a good 1. I told it tu my famili and dey laff too. XD
I thot it wuz funni. U not ’seriuz’, so it all OK.
SMACK* Dat wuz frum da female in meh. LOLOL Dat wuz frum da part uc me dat haz sence of hoomur.
yup, taht’s nuffink lyk a gud joek!
hee, i fink we can call dis gmta, eh?
hoo oews hoo a beer?!
girlz nite owt, aisle buy!
Woohoo! Is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too lawng sins Ai wen awn a gyrlznytowt!
*digs owt wyt stilletto shoos and sevral cans ob hayrsprai*
(well, Ai did sai it’d been a lawnd tym!)
stop, stop, STOP! yer gonna put summbodee’s eye out wif dat…
Ooh, gurls nite owt! Sine me up! Wher we goin?
I gitz owt mah 80s clothes an fethers mah beeg hayr.
I luks fur mah mini skurt an mah beeg eer-rings.
We canz try to haz so mush fun we gitz arrestikayted?
I’m so there!
ooh! I can haz big mall hair!! (nawt too tuff to do, akshully)
an teh ateez cloves – I haz dem sumware!
can I pore a dwink awn teh arresting occifer?
*psst* Mai Oui, do we still waer rarara skurts an batwing swedders?
shur, yu can carry it off!
yu kno, tihs combermasayshun begs for a commet form SJ – com bak SJ, we needs yoooooooooooo!!
rilly! APB fer SJ!
Amen to taht, Ambercat & Mary O!
we can taeks yer car to da girlz nite owt? i’m buyin!
Ai fink we can taeks Maus’ car, cuz he owez teh girlz aftr teh notgud jokez!
Thas fien, if yoos all can fits in a Barbee convertababel. Thas wut mauses drive. Liek Stewart Little…
okay. ifink we kin awl skweeze in. it is ICHCland, afterawl.
adn you has to be teh dezignated driber.
Um – is ther ruum fur moar kittehs?
Is this teh Barbi Ferrari?
I putz on mah pink heels an gitz a purs to match . . .
OK, I’z reddeh nao! Letz go fur a ryde!
it ain’t the end of the world
it’s just the wreck of the barbie ferrari!
John O Haitt ref, FTW!
hai, LCB! girlz gone wild, i mean girlz nite owt wud me funner if yu wuz dere!
ratzenfratzen: shud be “wud be funner” i wuz typin in teh rapround.
Whare be teh wild gerlz?
Wii taeks mah car, an mebbe Maus culd bee owr chaufurrrr
(ICHC carz ar liek teh TARDIS – bigger awn teh insied!)
sorta liek a clown car?
I wanna go too… can we doez teh elektrik slied??
ob corse – come alawng! we can duz teh elektrik sliid, if wii can mememembers hao.
Lektril slyd is compulsry!
kewl! itz eezyy… just tap tap front and back, side side and turnwithakick, walk walk front kick, walk walk back , shuffle left, shuffle rite and turn arownd and uh…. maybee ai needs a drink furst. ai dont think ai ever traied this soabur!!
umm…wuz she kyotie ugly?
i aer nowt as think as you drunk.
Wutz a licenz?
Care Troll Bait, aneewun?
No fanks, I just had lunch.
i fought da troll and da troll wun
wel i bin doin it sins i wuzza kittn
an i com owt grinnin…
Hand me The Snorgle Snorkle. I’m going in…
yesh, hees a kyutee. lukadem wishkerz.
jeezus kryst, it’s an ossifur!
gets in teh…oh wait im in teh… *hic*
Oh hai. I can has direckshuns to Catmandu plz?
Thats juzt a hare past Catagonia, rite?
Prettie fur awai!
I fink kittehs goin to Catatonic furs… nawt second.
Yoo taeks a left tern at Albequirkie…
u meanz take a U-turn BEFORE Albakurky
Toonce’s instructor sez, Ai towld yu nawt to dwink and dwive!
now we seez whut Toonces bin up 2 all dese yrs…
surving sentense fur multipul DUIs
iz cuz i’m oranj, izn it?
Prof eyeling?
arrested for DWO……..”driving while orange”
cud be a mafematishun kitteh, ignoring teh warnings about deriving while drunk.
*headdesk*
[HONGGGGGGK!]
best nots to heddesk ur steerin weel.
ooooh, Prof. d’Beaker- we sabed you frum dat 50 yr old Skotch we borked in teh bakroom ob teh labs. Yew can thank uz anudder time. we figgered anyfing dat old must be waaaaaaaaaay past teh exp. daet. dish label *passes it ober* sayz sumfin aboot macallen. smelled kinda like teh stuf i adds to my gardn.
Well, if Phil won’t say it, I will:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
alas, alas.
Maus, your sentiments echo mai own, right down to the number of OOOOOs. The flag at d’Beaker Labrytoaries was at haf-staff wen teh news wuz receebed (back on the picsher ob teh hedgehog wif teh toob on hims hed).
.
HOWever, if yew go back tehre, yew can see that there wuz a happy ending, involving the CCC, its supply of skawtchwisky, and a 2-fer-1 sayle at the TieBootik on skawtch and floorwax (“it’s a single malt highland scawtch AND a floor wax”).
.
awlz well taht enns well
o wayt
*spitz on label* (lernt dat spittin fing frum LCB)
*rubs it orf*
ooh, sez macallan. wunder if dat matterz?
Ummm……Still waiting for a good joke!!!!
dont hold yer bref!
Well, howz about a troo stry dat’s awlso funneh? Happend 2 sum frens o mai Mahm. Dey wuz drivn hoam frum a laydees nite aot, an goin a liddle qwik, an gawt pulld ovr bai a Hiway Pa-troll dude. So he wawk up to der cahr, an leenz owvr :menacingly:. Deh drivr sez, “O hai, ossifuh, iz der mebbeh a Hiway Pa-troll dood’s ball dat we gets 2 kumtribyute 2?” He replys, “Madam, Hi-way Pa-trollmen do NAWT have balls!” DED silens frum inside teh kawr. He stands up, wawks bak 2 teh croozer, and drivez awai.
An itz awl troo, I swerz. My Mahm an I ROFLd 4 dayz weh we herd it frum her frend.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ROFLBBQ~
Ai thot dis kitteh wuz Toonces bad kuzin… da poysin wun.
ai didnut dwink at awwllll, ossifer! Wut giveded yu teh inpresssssshun dat ai did?
Deh strawng smell uv ‘nip on ur furz, kitteh! Ben rollin in teh patch a liddle, haf we?
Whut – yoo wuntz to do teh breffalyzer?
Twuz just toona joose! Ah swayrz!
Nossir, nuffin stronger than catnip…well, an I didn inhale ennyway
FTW!!!!1!1!
noes, i did nawt have any Mary Ann, err, I mean, Mary Jane!!
Dis whut u get fur givin kittah, lysence.
lisense? whut dat? is dat liek teh tag teh goggie has? cuz i aint wearin no collur.
dat’s rite!
kittehs dont need noe stinking lisense!
Yah, dat’s not a cat lisnce, dats a dog lisnce wif de “dog” crossd awt an “cat”
ritten in in krayon!
it wuz juss a littl grass, ossifurr……
I swearz on ceeleng cat’s name. I no haz any nips.
Plz beleef meh. I ar innocint.
Pretending to be sober: you’re doing it wrong.
Ai can haz inebreeashun?
DUL – driven under da influence of lolspeak!
No officer I haven’t had any alcoholol
Cat like driving detected.
Honestly occifer, I’m not under the alcofluence of incohol as some thinkle peep, ’cause the drinker I stand here, the longer I get. I’ve only had tee martoonies and I have all sober to Sunday up in. So siss on you, pister, you ain’t so mucking fuch. Hut the well makes you think you’re so smucking fart?
Fab Yu Luss!
Hake mee tome; drai’m unk!
Honess, occifurr, iz drawt nunk! Iz cone sold stober!
“O Hai, Ossifur! Wai ar Ai syttyng iyn teh drivure’s seet wif teh cawr moater runnin?
Noes, Ai has nawt bin drynkyng. Mai hyoomin iz teh wun wif teh funnee breaf; almoast nokked me oaver. Dat be wai Ai be hangyng awn to teh stearyng weel so tite.
Wher ar he? Wel, he be oaver dere behine dat treee hydying. He sez Ai shud be cuvering fur hims.
Noes, we orranj wuns ar nawt poysen!!!
He telled me i be “dezig naited diver”. Which wai tu pool?
“Does u has anee gray poop on?”
“I wasn’t speeding, officer. You should’ve seen how fast the people I passed were going!”
*snort* *guffaw*
Dis kitteh needz teh innervenshun…
dey trynda make me go to rehab, but I won’ go, go, go…
Lol. Great. I can’t get enough of the lolcats. RA!
Good afterble, constanoon.
License and registration meow
Miss on YOU, pisstur. U ain’t so muckin fuch.
Kaff-leen!!!!
(cuz, ai dunno how tu mayk eet!)
Sush langwedj frum a nys ladylyke donkeh!
HEY!! Mai ‘googly eyes’ disamapeered!!
tag:garfield
u mis placed officer,problem
Offizar, i swer ive been kat nipped
I swear to drunk I’m not God…!
i dont get it. hee hee!
u got that from tehnoobshow!