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Rose Red
butt Ai’m 2 pooped 2 pop
Here’z mai assistant 2 assist U
If U choose “has cheezburger” N den gibz it 2 mee, den Ai’l hab enuff energiez to assist U personnaly wif all Ur sorgullin needs
Anom! an contrats on ur nawt-sekkind! Purrhaps a nyss Brown Rooshin 4 ur drinkin plezzure? Mudslide cukies? (I gawts teh recipee online last week.) Nuffin laik a chawklit overload on Hawmp Dae 2 keep u goin.
Tank U Shanmao…dat sounz delishus N nutrishus
Ai waz awaa furr a wi-el 2 feedz mai fambly, butt am bak nao
Chawklit oberlood…DO WANTZ!!
Hibernate mode has been activated
Haiburnate mod aktivated by klicking “kthnxbi” buttn
go away paprclp! nobudy lieks u!
OOH!
I can swat at little metal guy?
Jess, U kin plaa wif mai assistant…ai gibz U mai puurrrMishun
Gee Tanks GeeNee!
*swatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswatPOUCEswatswatswatswatswatswatswatswat*
i beleefs it feelz swattted nao
Iz Microsoft Lolcat compatibles with Mac?
Ai dunno…datz Y ai needz assistant…mie teck nologee chalenngez – let mee show U dem
i nawt tek eckspart, but i bleev lolcatz iz kompatimaybl wif awl opraytin sistymz. i lubz teh Universal Snorgle Buddy teknolojy
ohai moe!
yr comment iz win!
Oh hai moe! Iz u teh wun hoo be wanting deh info on deh l
olspeak tutorial? I founding it. It wuz dun by elfinugget adn u can b
seeing it on April 24, 2007.
o hai, cweenmj, it wuzzint me. ackshully, i fink i haz seed elfinugget’z tyootoariel befoar, but ai go an lukkadit agen layter (i’z at werk nao). ruum fur improobmint, i haz it!
.
an fank oo leeza-b!
.
Oh, well, sry 2 b bozzering u, moe. I shall lukking sum moar.
**wunderz wear i saw dat?
**Y I fergetz?
**Curse dis old timerz fergettingz.
.
If u seeing sum1 hoo luks like tehy b wondering wear it b,
It b kalled LKSL-101 (LOLspeak as a Second Language)
.
**wanderz off muttring. wuz it yesterday? day b4? maebee
**day b4 dat?
**make note 2 sef:
**must 2 b getting sum of moez unibersel snorgle buddeez
Maybe dis shuld sai “I am in ur heart?” Dis a splorchish babeh!
Y u not show teh lynx, it are teh lolcat of teh office
Mai office haz Macs, so iz fulla Tigers and Leopards.
Wid Big Mac an Cheez? Ob cors!
(wuz ment to go under Babycakes arskin if compatibuble wit Mac. WP not lieks me dis mornin, sorry)
I is can have invisabul ofiss assisstent moar often plz? Silent wud be gud too. n e thing that wil let me forget that anoyng thing iz thear.
ai hates it wen assisstent get impayshunt cuz i not type for a wyle. letz see u rite bizness letter in french, payperklipman!
remines mie uv teh joke ware teh offis assistent pops up adn sez “I see you are trying to write a ransom letter”…..
kraks mie up ebbery tyme I finks uv it.
I saw one joke where it sez: “I see you are trying to write a suicide note… would you like help on: noose? pills? headintheoven?”
yoo kan getz rid ob it, don rebember how, but itz in a menoo sumwer. i gotted rid ob paypr klip guy an replacd it wif kartoon kitteh assistent (don rebemmer how, itz in a menoo sumwere). wen yoo not tipez for awile, kitteh crulz up and goze to sleep. an aslo chayses flutterbyes. much mor want.
Sounz kewl. I kan hied paperklipgy 4 a whiel but teh orfis tek gy “reimajes” an putz him bak.
Dis lukks lyke hao my ‘honnurary neece’ am rite Nao!!
Ai r Aunty Claire aka Dukkie fur teh dai.
*whispers*
she am orinj hared,but definitlee nawt poysin
Lawng tyme sinse ai hadz a bebbeh tew luk after.Doan noe hoo iz habbin moar fun!!
She jess felled asleeep-awww sew Cyooot
Gud mornin TidmumDukkie
Hao berry sweet dat U iz habbin funz wif orinj bebbeh
*whisperz* ai noes dat da orinj wunz r nawt poysin, ai only had wun dat wussint
Cankittehlayshunz awn yaw nawt sekkund ffl!
Whut yewlyke fur cellybrayshun?
Sawree didnt say eet eerlier, ai r awl upsydedown heer az yew kin majine!!
Jess, ai kin ‘magin…iz OK…ai’d rathR B snurglin wif a orinj bebbeh rite nao
den ennyfing elsz 2
Sum hotChoklit wud B nycz on dis brik…bris…chillie mornin
Ai’m still 2 stiff 2 do mush dancin tho..it taykz dez boonz a wi-el to git muuvin
Biig mug ob hawt chokklit cummin;.///////////////////////jhnmyu7gvb-
Hazel sez Ohai– rite up.
slow stretchee shayke teh bonez moobments ai fink dis mornin.
Ai gotz sum ‘winneh teh poh’ biskitz heer tew. nom nom nom.
Bebbeh fud biskitz am sew innerestin deez daiz!!
Ai fink w.p eeted teh hawt chokklit an winneh teh pooh shaype biskitz
ai sended yew!!
Hazel rited yew an Ohai tew.-She wunts tew mayke shore she getz
teh lubs an snorglez tew. She biig kitteh fur sittin onna lap at teh pyooter.
Ai frot we cud doo sum slow bonez stretchin moobments fur teh stiffness
dis mornin
Oh jess…bendz N streches…reech furr da starz (etc)
Ai LOL’d wen ai red “pooh biskits”…dinnot C “shayped” at 1st
tell Hazel “ohai” bak frum mee (petz n skratchz behinna eerz 2)
Ur hotChhlit iz berry delicious N nutrishus, tanks berry mushly
gotta run awaa furr a wi-el 2 feeds fambly…BRB
Thare goez Joopiter, Hear cumz Mars—Romper Room! FTW!!1!
sweeet…
Have you seen street dentist in India? – http://funzombie.com/2008/03/25/dentists-in-india.html
Cool!
sweet
ai juss lubs this bebbeh kitteh…..eet is teh kyootest bebbeh…..culd snorgle wyth awk dai lawng
i wud liek to chooz cheezburger plz. kthx.
aww iz teh kyootest!!1! but kitteh look berry dee-pwessd
mebbe teh kitteh need teh chzburger for chee… chie… get bedda?
kitteh lookz berry dep… dee-p… sad
mebbe he can has teh cheezburger to feel hapee?
nope, he’s just had it wit de officeassistancinurfaceallthuhtime. This feeling, ai knoews it…
Opps, ai not no my furst comint caem froo all gud, nao ai poasted twise (A)
Teh kitteh b a kyootie, rite enuff, but dat odder litl fing i donut need. I can haz it 4 teh play-toi? Pweeze? Mawt b moar fun den moff tennits!
Kill ur doodz plz!
I has a pavemnt
In Soveeeyet Rusha, pavemnt haz yoo.
Deer Whirld,
I juss kant take it anymoar. I has decided — wtf?
— It looks liek ur kummiting sooiside! Offiss Assisstint kan be helping u rite ur sooiside note. Furst, tell us how u plan to be killing urseff.
Okay, it’s Hawmp Dae, but nuffing iz DAT bad! Heer, haf sum chawklit. Haf moar. If u is a kitteh, haf sum toony treets. Der. Nao, jus bat deh Offiss Assistint araond 4 while, an u’ll feel awl bettur.
That wuz jus 2 weerd!
.
I stared at teh paperclip for 20 sekkunds trying to figyoor out how it got there befour I figgured out it was a part of teh lolkitteh picture.
.
Mai denial and disbelief; let me show you dems.
Heer fifi, u needz moar kaffeenz. Deh braynz be a little confuzzled so earlee in deh morning.
Ai hookz u up wif a koffee IV. Not 2 b wurrying about teh needlez. Iz painlesses in ICHC land. U just lay heer and let it drip 4 a while. i b getting rid uv deh papurr klip 4 u.
.
*klikz on deh stoopee papurklip.
*Klikz on opshunz
*klikz on gallery
*finds kitteh adn selex him.
.
Der ya go. no maor stoopee papurrklip. Sillee kitteh insted.
IV make deh braynes happee? ok, i unhookk deh IV noaw.
Heers a chokklit adn a softee blankee, 2.
And just in case you feel a splort cumming on frum the cyoot liddel babeh kittycatkinz, I gibbing u a lubble 1950s bavving cap frum the CCC. Gibbocat gabbing us sum deh ozzer day. Heerz a bloo one wif yello floerz to matching teh blankee.
Plz to be not removing koffee IV.
Plz to be making a permanent part of mai anatomee.
Kthxbai!
.
P.S. Cweenmj – Thank you very kindly for the bathing cap, possum-shaped chocolate with the creamy center, and soft blanket.
It is good to feel cared for.
*sighs contentedly, checks drip rate on Alaris pump, closes eyes and wiggles toes, 99, 98, 97, . . .*
mumbling to sef: hasn’t checked on fifi lately.
**luks in.
OMG!! How ken enny1 go into a coma wif a CAFFEEN drip?!?!?!!?
**Patz fifiz cheekz.
fifi, wake up!!!
**nuffink.
**Patzes agin.
Fifi, wake up!!
**Fifi opunz izballz. Den klosez dem agin. Moar patting uv cheekz.
Fifi, waking up now.
**izballz opun agin.
Tyme to go home now, fifi.
**fifi getz up adn sloooowly wanders off in deh direkshun uv home.
Dere’s dat annoying paper clip agin. Wen I ketches him, I bats him into next week! *butt wiggle of doom*
lol butt wiggle of doom!
Yes, Iz gon resmember dat 1.
win win win
Laff not!
Teh butt wiggle of doom is serious business.
Negotiations have ended. It’s all ovah but teh screamin.
.
And I just *adore* teh butt wiggle of doom.
Plz don’t go I lubz U
cute use of the paperclip helper;)
u noe kitteh, that u can change that annoiying littul paper clip into sumting else when u gets tyred of batting it arownd… liek a littul goggie!
or Einstein!
or a kitteh!!!
maybee for teh kittehpyooter, we shud hav also… ping pong ball asst, pistasheeo nut asst, and littul furrie mowse asst… those are wut mai kittehs liek to bat abowt!
not tu furget bottulcap, kew-tip an toylut papur role.
(Why doe I buys teh eckspensif tois? Dunno.)
oh yes, teh kew-tip is the win!
since u brot the bathruum into it… ai must cunfess. mai kittehs LUV teh *whisper* tampax. B/c it has teh russelly paper, then when u open it, it has teh rolly cardboreds, and then there is a mowse wif a tayle insied!! 3 kitteh toys in wun! win win win!
nawt that I giv them theez to plai with… but sumtimes they sneeks wun owtta the box. verry much embarrussing, last tiem i moved, when teh moovers picked up teh cowch.
Leeza-b! u make me lol!!!
Mee too! Ai wudda DYED!!1!!!
En donut frget teh ‘fingz kittehs nokkt off teh nytestand’ kittehgory…hayr tyez, flashlyte, ristwatch, pensil, eyglassiz, bookmark, tellyfone, anteek lamp (oops, dat wun waykt teh hyoominz up! run! blaym teh goggie!)…
my kitteh rubz himz face aganst teh lampsahde in teh middl ob the niet wen
him wantz me to waek up an letz himz owt. teh ovver nite him rubbd so hard
him slid riet off teh pile ob buks him wuz sitting on, nokked ober teh buks an
teh fone an teh wystbasket. maed BIG NOYZEZ!!1!! mah hubby waked up all
skeered an kep sayin, “wut that noyze? pleez tell me wut taht noyz?” an i’z
laffin so hard i kan’t tellz him. nex mornin i tellz him, “if wuz anyfing bad,
i not haz been laffin so hard.”
Clippy? Do not want!
Stoopid paper clip =)
*caretroll mask on*
Peepl, hao cud u let tihs happin? NEVAR let teh kitteh luk direkly at teh e-clips! Himz vis…vizz…ablilite 2 c will b hurtid, an himz cannut kach teh mausees! Himz can need a c-eeng aye goggie tehn, an hao’s taht gonnawurk? All himz candu is foller himz noze 2 teh gushifud bowl, an git big an fat an diabeetus! An tehn
Oh, not taht sorta e-clips?
Um, nevarmyne.
*tosses maks 4 sumwun els 2 fynd*
*snerk* kitteh needz a slolar filta fur teh e clipz.
SNL ftw!
im in ur hart, but dangerusly close to splorting ur hed
Kitteh hangs on as world beginz to tilt – annoyin papurklip dood duz not help.
This …. has to be…. the winnest captioning…. ever….. OMG….. it’s brilliant…
Teh papeh clip…it hauntz meh dreemz az it is alwayz poppin up ’til I tel it tu GO AWAI!
Whuever thot it wuz a gud idea…oi. I jus wanna rite my papeh, not argu wif a papeh clip.
Kitteh face maeks me sad. Poor kitteh shud not haf to put up wif goin’ thru the ‘opshuns’ to get rid of dat thing. Tis’ aggravatin. Mah sympathy, let me show u it.
loloffice assistant
just as annoying as original
Strypee Behbee habz
fowndz akkspeptibbill playss 4
Napz…. Kriteek layturrs!
Sun wawrmz t3h cawnkreet
juss enuff 4 silkee furrz.
Behbee strrretch owtz wyde!
Behbee no canz Napz
juss enneeplayss! Habz 2 speekz
2 poopt owt Kitteh
Furr draws in wawrff frum
cawnkreet. Sun lyte ree-charjjez
Behbee’z drayndd Baturreez
Behbee awllz bettah
sune. Willz den luukz 4 bettah
nyss wawrmz Nappengz Playss!
Jack.
Clap clap clappin teh floofly pawz, Jack! U duz grates haiku. Fank u!
Mmmm…extree vurses maek me sleepy…*zzzz*
O Jack Deth, hao U alwaiz mak teh wunnerful haikkuuz? I be lurkking on ICHC furr cupple weaks naow, n alwaiz LUBS ur poe treee.
Trainin for High Gravity
Ur doing it rite…
… but ur too weak btw
im in yr compooter
givin u opshunz
Kitteh nawt be lieking awl teh optshuns. Her wil haz teh cheezburger tho,
plz thx.
Her wunts udder opshuns replaiysed by: ( chuz 2) ASAP!
#1 Katnyp
#2 Mowsies
#3 Paypur wadds
#4 Bawl ov yaurne
#5 Q tipps
#6 Lolbradoar’s favrit sqweekee toy
ai tink ai wud pik opshun:haz cheezburger!
wai bak in ninteem ninie sebenz, ai was wurkin foar compyutr compony on supports phon lain. furst they relez office ninie sebens into teh wildz, then ebry tree calls ai get, summon wantz to know how imz can off teh paper clippy dude.
ten yerz laitr, all ai remembrz hao to do is off the clippy dead.
Survival skilz, you got ‘em!
Sumbuddy postid a linky 2 dis pikshur sebrul munfs ago. Ai laffd en laffd en laffd so hard dat Ai kryd, en den havd 2 tayk mai azma inhaylr. Dis wuz mai desktop immij fr a lawng tyme! Ai wud chooz “Invisible Office Assistant” ebry tyme, if Ai cud!
lolcat spellchek rulez!!!!!!1!!!
I worship yoo. I not worthy.
Noez! D’na keel ma doodz! Ai needz em faw teh battlez!
100th!
i’d like 2 has cheezburger plz.
dats 1 of da many problems wit Windows. Da stupeed office aysistant.